My husband is on a diet and it makes me want to throttle him!
My dh has decided that he wants to lose weight. Honestly, I love the man but if I hear one more time that I don't realize how hard he has to work to lose the lbs. I am gonna hurt the poor man.
He is now running one to two miles every other day. Yea for him! I have been walking about one to two miles a day as well but with us having a three year old one of us just has to walk and no matter what I have never been and probably will never be a runner.
Now on to the problem. If he says that I don't realize how hard it is to diet again I am gonna scream. Does he think I never dieted or don't still think about the calories and fat of every ounce of food that goes into my mouth. I don't know how to explain to him that his big problem is portion control. He seems to think that every can/package/thing put on his plate is a portion. Not one, two, or more. I honestly think he believes that when we go out to eat and I cut my food in half automatically that it is because I know I will be taking it home with me (ok that is part of the reason) but it is because of portion control. I know that I should never eat more than half of a restaurant serving that most places. I also know at home how much protein/veggies/carbs should cover my plate. I try to fill 3/4 of my plate with protein and veggies and only 1/4 with carbs. If I eat more carbs than that I dump.
Sorry for the long post it just frustrates me that he thinks that I don't "diet" every day. Of course he will diet for 2 months lose the weight he wants to lose then go back to eating what he wants and do this whole process again in 6 months. It is what he does not matter how much I try to help him.
Holy moly! You've lost 150 pounds and he's whining that you don't know how hard it is to diet? Smack him for me! Kidding, but still! I can see why you're aggravated.
Holy moly! You've lost 150 pounds and he's whining that you don't know how hard it is to diet? Smack him for me! Kidding, but still! I can see why you're aggravated.
**** yes! And I'm NOT kidding - I want to smack him in the face with a wet fish!
Well.... if he asks for your help just tell him you can't because you don't know what it means to be on a diet *sarcastically of course* clueless!! and give him the closest weight watchers address.
Maybe if you ignore him he'll get the message and you'll feel better (((and he'll survive lolol))).
Ohelia, I'm right there with you. My DH has to restrict cholestrol and sugar. All I hear is "I'm craving something; I'm hungry; Is this all I can have! I need chocolate bad!" His weight is down from 208 to 185 lbs; but I'm the one who is constantly saying, "Just because it is left over or on the table doesn't mean you have to eat it." This morning, we went out to celebrate his birthday with the GKs and DD and he piled his plate high, but had a salad on the side." I didn't say a thing, but I went and got me a little slice of NAS Cherry Pie, took a couple of bites, pushed it away and said this seems awfully sweet." So after all he ate, he decided that he was going to get a piece of that pie with frozen yogart. In about 15 minutes, I barfed the pie because what we didn't know is that someone had stuck the wrong colored handled in the pie and it was really full sugar. When we got to the car, he announced that the pie didn't bother him at all. I then asked him if he thought he'd made wise decisions about his breakfast: French toast with butter and syrup, bacon, toast, eggs, orange juice, hash browns, cherry pie and frozen yogurt. BUT...HE DID HAVE A SALAD!! He made himself two corn dogs for lunch (GK's stuff) and chips!! Then he proceeded to lecture me on my lunch which was 1/2 of a fresh spring roll, all vegetarian and no rice, and dipping sauce. "No wonder you are eating so often." You need to eat more at one time." He's portion controls are awful. If I put different items on the table like cottage cheese, cheese, applesauce, bread, casserole at one time, he has to eat out of every one of them. SO.....considering that I'm eating "all the time" he thinks he has too also. A book by Dr. Goor about Men dieting and losing their gut came today and he'd better read it and learn from it. He is a wonderful man but exhausting when dieting!! His motto is: "If I eat something bad for me now and don't eat it again for a month, then what is wrong with that!" Nothing except, he is eating bad choices all the time and maybe won't have that one again for a month! Oh, and since there is not fat and no sugar, did you know that he feels like he is eating a piece of cardboard! Guess, I've never been through that one before!!! And why can't he have just a double cheese burger once in a while. The man has had them for 40 years, and that is why his cholestrol is awful. I'm cutting portions when I cook, not bringing junk into the house, and giving him healthy snacks in between meals. But, I'M A NAG and had to have surgery to get where I'm at!!!! Well, he never said those things, but tells me how hard he is having it!!! 38 years and I hope I don't go to prison for murder!! LOL!!!! Ophelia, hang in there; what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!! About walking with a three year old, same here went to a resale store and picked up a jogging stroller for less than $20; can't jog but I'm a blur when I'm pushing her around in it and she loves it.
Maybe if you explain to him what an incredible battle you fought (and won!!!) and that you have to continue to be vigilant and that you have signed on to a life long change it might help put things into perspective for him.
It sounds like he is looking to you for sympathy and cheer-leading, and maybe you can that for him in a way which makes it clear that you *do* know, perfectly well, how hard it is to lose weight (and MAINTAIN that loss!).
Something like...
Him: "You don't know how hard I have to work to lose a single pound."
You: "Actually, I *do* know how much hard work it is to lose weight and maintain that loss. Every day is filled with dozens of decisions about what to eat. I have to make the time to exercise, even when I'm busy and I really don't want to move a muscle. I know it's hard, but I'm so happy that you are trying to get healthier too and I'd love to share my experience with you if you feel you are ready for any pointers." (or whatever).
Last edited by yoyoma; 06-21-2008 at 06:48 PM.
Reason: Deleted speculations cuz I was clueless
I haven't had surgery but I have noticed it is a common misconception that people who have weight loss surgery that the weight just drops off with no effort and that you just magically and effortlessly lose the weight. My family keeps telling me why don't you hurry up and do the surgery so you can lose all your weight. I honestly think they think I'll get the surgery and lose 200 lbs before I leave the hospital. The more I read and learn it seems like the hardest thing in the world. Even though it's a valuable tool I think nobody understands unless they have it.
He is 50 lbs heavier than he was when we got married 2 1/2 years ago. After everything I have been through with my weight loss journey I look at 50 lbs as easy pickings to get off. He takes everything I suggest and says that I don't know what I am talking about I had to have surgery to lose my weight. He forgets that I lost 50 lbs in the 6 mos prior to my surgery and another hundred since then and have pretty much maintained my weight. Like most females my weight has 10lbs that it likes to go up and down but I know my body and never let myself go past those 10. If they stick on for longer than a week I check what I have been eating and do some revising.
I don't think he sees me as learning any health/nutrition information in my process. He seems to think I took the easy way out. What's odd is he sees how hard I work to stay where I am. Also, his mother had Gastric Bypass 10 years ago and has put back on 50lbs because of poor eating habits so he should realize I made a lifelong diet commitment and needs to respect that.
EASY WAY OUT....reeeeally....I would love to have him, and other people that have said that to me, put on my shoes, "walk the mile" and then find the way out! Easy...right!
Last edited by missangelaks; 06-21-2008 at 07:22 PM.
not sure whether to laugh or cry here. but here's my two cents anyway. ignore him. don't respond to his complaints. to his issues. to anything. just keep on doing what you're doing, raise the occasional eyebrow and respond something like: "i've heard that dieting is challenging.' 'rumor has it that people may have to change how they live in order to lose weight and maintain it.'
in short, just very general statements - nothing about what you're doing or experiencing - and then change the topic!!!
maybe he'll get the message - or maybe he won't - but for heavens sake, darlin, you deserve some respect and peace here!!!!!!
My husband is on a diet and it makes me want to throttle him!
clueless!! and give him the closest weight watchers address.
