[Virjin]

Hello one and all!
I'm not sure if this is where I should post as I'm not sure If I need to lose 100 pounds but I'm currently 285 pounds and looking in the mirror I can easily say, "It couldn't hurt..." I'm 6'3' and have some what of a big build... To give a good example is that most people think I'm a body builder if it wasn't for my belly and man-boobs -_-


I just really need to find some kind of diet/exercise plan to go on and stick too... I also have a really random schedule, I do not have a job, or school, or any other kind of responsibilities at the moment. So it really could be anything

I don't really have any idea what kind of exercise plan would be good for starting out, and also I don't know how many calories I need to limit myself per day. If anyone could tell me I would be very gracious

[PhotoChick]

Well ... finding a diet and exercise plan is a really personal thing ... so you'll get a lot of opinoins here and you'll just have to experiment and figure out what works for you.

For me - I HATE being restricted. Tell me I can't eat something and immediately I want it. Tell me that I have to eat something all the time, and immediately I rebel. For me, the best plan is simply calorie counting. I *can* eat whatever I want as long as it stays within the range of calories I'm allowed for the day. I have set myself to about 1500 cals per day and I try to stick as close to that as I can. Usually I'm within 100 cals either way.

Even though I *can* eat whatever I want, I try very hard to eat lots of protein, lots of veggies, some fruit, and some complex carbs (whole grains, oats, etc.) I find that for me, limiting my carbs at night helps a lot and making sure I get enough protein on days that I workout and lift weights is ultra important for me. Also drinking lots of water daily - I probably drink a gallon a day or more.

For exercise, I am a big believer in cardio combined with weight training. I do a lot of HIIT (high intensity intervals) and then work with free weights and body resistance. I try to avoid the "circuit" machines at the gym as much as possible (although I do use the lat pulldown and the leg press machines).

A really good book if you want to build strength and get into great shape is the New Rules of Lifting series. There's a "regular" and one for women. I have started with the one for women and will probably move on to the "regular" one when I finish this.

Hope that helps you out a bit Oh and WELCOME.

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[Schmoodle]

It's hard to get started when you're not sure what the first step should be. You could do calorie counting or there are other plans that do not require calorie counting. I'd encourage you to read about all the different plans - you can find lots of good info here on 3fc, and pick the one that appeals to you the most. In the meantime, you can still get started. Take a walk today. Start drinking lots of water. Cut out any junk that's in your diet. Start eating lots of veggies, lean proteins, fruits, whole grains, etc. Good luck to you!

[PhotoChick]

Oh, one thing that you might do starting out: Start a food journal.

Write down every single thing that goes in your mouth - even if it's a bite here or there, or a vitamin, or a sip of soda. Write it down.

If you do that for a few days or a week, it'll give you a great insight into what is causing you to gain weight. You can see what areas you can start to cut back on - whether it's sweets, sodas, starchy things, snacking, whatever.

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[Virjin]

Thank you very much
Currently I drink as much water as I can a day, and walk 30-45 minutes a day to sort of break myself into walking ya know? I stretch and soon I plan on doing other things like jumping jacks, sit ups, and push ups It's hard though because I've been out of high school for a few years now and i have not really spent much time building my muscles. :'( So it shall be a work in progress I suppose!

Currently I eat two packets of natural oatmeal first thing in the morning, then really all I have is what my parents buy to stock the house with food... which is mostly junk food... We have egg's, hamburger patty's, and random fruits on occasion, and wheat bread. But if I give my parents a list of things I would want to help me lose weight I'm sure they would be willing to help me .
I also am hoping that if I lose weight I will have more energy! So that I can finally get a job and what not

Thank you for your advice and I will most definitely look into some of the different weight loss plans!

[Virjin]

I went for a 45 min walk today and on the way as I was walking down the train tracks I came out on a street I normally do not venture down, and to my surprise there was a health food grocery store (not even 5 blocks away less than 10 mins walking distance). So I walk inside and see all these health foods, vegetarian foods, different soy products ect... and many many cheap fruits/vegetables

They also have a smoothie booth thing where people buy cups of real juice, smoothies and other vegetable drinks. And its sad mostly because I did not even realize it existed there before... -_-

One main problem I have is that I need to figure out what kind of healthy foods I should work into my schedule, seeing as right now all I can eat are egg's, oatmeal, and hamburger patties. I will start looking through the forums for weight loss food lists but if any one would like to list foods/drinks that you use that are healthy I would appreciate it

It's tough to start dieting and excercising out of nowhere... I feel like I lack the energy to make myself go out and walk but I did it anyhow... But I have to tell you... I do feel a lot better after getting out, my heart beating hard and actually using my muscles... ;P

My mother used to be a dietary supervisor at a rest home for elders and so she knows quite a bit about dieting and we discussed it quite thoroughly and she said for me I should have a calorie intake of arround 1400-1500 for my size, but I tend to want to push things to the extreme... Mind you I do not mean starve myself... But you know... Push myself... I know I might be over confident and that it might burn me out but the one thing I know for sure is I'm determined...
I want to lose weight so bad... It's all I think about anymore... It's all that I really desire... Besides not being so lonely ;P but that will come in time as well I suppose... Patience...
Thanks everyone for your support! And good luck to you all!

[djay]

Welcome! and thank you for replying to my post. You are very kind. I wish you luck. The walking is great and it is good that your mom knows and supports your diet need! I wish you much success.

[fiberlover]

Matt - welcome to 3FC!
There are so many different options for you to choose from. I agree with photochick about the journal to see exactly what you are eating now, and how much you are eating in a given day.

Try to have a nice balance of carbs, protein and fat with each meal. If you sign up at a website like www.thedailyplate.com - you can easily track all of your food.

For example, your oatmeal for breakfast is a great choice. You might want to add some protein to that, in the form of eggs or turkey sausage, or veggie sausage. An maybe a piece of fruit.

Make a list for your parent's to shop, or you could offer to do the grocery shopping!
Add things like:
fruits and veggies
whole grain breads (tortillas, buns, wraps, etc - whole grain, though - no enriched flour)
lean proteins (chicken, lean ground beef, tuna, tofu, boca burgers)
lowfat dairy (cottage cheese, yogurt, milk, cheese)

[Pandora123a]

Virjin,

The food journal is a great idea, apparently there is research that it is something that most successful dieters do.

Try changing one small thing. Exercise is great, is there a gym nearby you could go to and take a class? Walking is my personal favorite, no equipment needed and we all know how to do it.

Your mom is probably right long term, but for your weight and height 1500 calories is going to be a huge shock to your system. Don't get into the yoyo thing where you take it off just to put it back on because the change is unsustainable.

Good luck, and post often as you need support.

[chick_in_the_hat]

Some foods I would not like to try to live without.
Veggies veggies veggies. Check here for tons of ideas on what to do with them.
Fruits....the fav at the moment is watermelon
Cottage cheese - lowfat or nonfat
Nonfat palin yogurt
Boneless skinless chicken breast
Salmon
Mixed baby greens
Newman's Own Salad dressing
Laughing cow cheese
String cheese
Fat free 1/2 & 1/2
splenda
natural peanut butter
whole wheat bread - I get a lite version
low carb tortillas (whole wheat)
zone bars (snack size are handy)

I think 1500 calories might be a little low to start with...I think that is the minimum for men. Maybe start with 1800? See how it goes.

I'm with photochick (as usual ) about logging what you eat. I use fitday.com. If you look at my link to the left...you will see I'm far from perfect...but I'm honest with it. It really does help. I'm a dork for reports - and it's FREE.

[Virjin]

Hey guys and gals
I was trying to go to sleep and something kept me up... Something I felt like I wanted desperately to share with anyone who is willing to listen

The saying goes, "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." I truly have been thinking about this quite a bit... If you have no interest in the feelings of a lonely man then maybe you might stop now! Before you regret it ;P

I am 21 as you might know by now... My name explains much however I never intended it to mean anything I just like that name... I'm still a Virgin and it's not that I want to you know... Well I would be lying if i said I wasn't Interested in sex... But it's not as important to me as finding someone I love, and spending the rest of my life with them, or a very long time And of course have children of my own.

I went walking today much longer than intended.. But you see I live near the beach... And decided to take a nice long stroll on this hot 80 degree day, to see what was happening... The smell of the salty ocean and the hot sun shining down on me reminded me of being a child and walking down there after school or to hang out with friends.

As I was walking around the feeling, the smell, the beauty of it overwhelmed me I suppose, and I had a very warm feeling inside... However I had seen couples walking around enjoying everything together... And at that moment a familiar feeling sunk down within me... The same feeling I've felt for many years... That feeling of "I wish I wasn't alone..."
I desire so badly to walk down the street with someone I love more than anything, maybe holding hands and you know... I guess you could say I'm in love with the idea of being in love...

As I was walking home it made me think a lot about it... I don't know why I am undesirable to women... I know I'm over weight but thats currently a work in progress and It's at the top of the list!

I'm a gentle giant... I really care about what people say and think... I'm extremely respectful, and considerate I may not be the brightest penny in the jar but I'm not that dullest either -_- at least I don't believe so...

Now It's probably also because I do not get out enough to actually meet people... But even the girls I do meet, or the girls online do not seem to be attracted to me much... (I should clarify that these girls online are girls met on games I play... -_-)

I've got sort of a weird goth taste... Very different from the people around here... And I've also noticed that a lot of the girls are preppy, blond, and rich girls... usually stuck up... (it is California and I do live near a beach after all...) I'm also very shy irl... I guess that could be it too... Id never go up and talk to a girl irl... NEVER

Anyhow I apologize to everyone... I realize this is a weight loss forums but if any of you have any ideas or suggestions. I would greatly appreciate it

P.S. To never have known love is definitely hard... It breaks my heart... Because sad and lonely is no way anyone should live :'(

Edit: Oh and thank you all so much for your advice! I truly do appreciate it and have been gradually adding to my list as the days go, should be a bit of time before my mom gets groceries again... But yeah! So far so good!

[Mommie27]

Matt, I agree with what everyone else said: log your food that is the biggie for me...knowing that I have to log everything I also agree with the others about your caloric intake..I am 5'7" and weighed 248 when I started and my caloric intake is 1450, try 1800 as chick_in_the_hat suggested and go from there. Try all the different food recommended, but also learn to READ THE LABELS!! Choose things that are low in fat and calories. Don't be afraid to try new things and know that YOU CAN DO IT!

[fiberlover]

Originally Posted by Virjin

As I was walking home it made me think a lot about it... I don't know why I am undesirable to women... I know I'm over weight but thats currently a work in progress and It's at the top of the list!
...............

Now It's probably also because I do not get out enough to actually meet people... But even the girls I do meet, or the girls online do not seem to be attracted to me much... (I should clarify that these girls online are girls met on games I play... -_-)

I wouldn't think you are undesirable to all women. Just those that you happen to be around in your present environment (and that really may not be the case, women can be very hard to read).
Which leads to the second part I highlighted. To meet someone new, you are probably going to have to step out of your comfort zone a bit. Join some IRL groups. You said you were introverted - do you like to read, walk or garden? What other hobbies do you have besides the online games? You could join a local club for any of these hobbies - heck, there is probably a local club for online gamers as well.
That will get you meeting new people who share the same interests as you. It will give you something to talk about, so it isn't as awkward as just going up to some unknown person and trying to make small talk (ugh???)

I felt like you did a long time ago. I despaired that I would ever find anyone. Funny thing - I decided that I didn't need to be part of a couple to be happy and fulfilled. So I stopped looking. And that is when I met my DH!

[Pandora123a]

Matt,

I echo Lori's statement. After a while I decided that I couldn't decide whether to be married or not, but I could choose how I would live. I then filled up my life with really satisfying things, and almost immediately met my husband. I think he was attracted because I was happy and had a full life, rather than dependent and searching.

This is a campaign year, can you volunteer for someone? (Political campaigns are full of folks your age and there are multiple social opportunities.) How about concerts or clubs that play music you like. Starting with a common interest really helps. (And gives you your first move, you just talk about the music, like it, hate it, compare it.)

Everyone is so eager to be cool and not risk that no one will take a first step. All of the ladies here can tell you how single women lament that there are no men, or at least no men who respond while they wait eagerly.

If all you do is stand and wait you will not find anyone. You are taking big steps to change your life, think about taking one in this area as well.

Good luck

[chick_in_the_hat]

Another possible group to join might be a walking club or bicycling club? I think you will gain confidence as you have success in your weight loss...you will find your special someone. But you have to give some of yourself.