General chatter - Mother-in-Laws........GEESH!
06-17-2008, 12:11 PM
i really dont know why this has me so sideways. but here i am, 2 days later and still shaking my head.
my husband was talking to his mother on the phone sunday, our cell phones are loud and i was sitting beside him on our porch swing and i could hear both sides of the conversation, not that i was trying to, but i did.
his mother was telling him that he should work on his weight, and then she said in her very best cruella deville voice, "after all, if tiff can lose weight, ANYONE can."
so i said, loud enough for her to hear, "thanks alot!" she was surprised that i had heard her and asked him if she was on speaker phone. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
why is this bothering me? and he should have said, mom that is not nice, but he didnt.
i don't know, this is just one minor thing is suppose, but i have to say it, and i know it's not nice, and i'm sure this is going to make me look bad, but here it goes anyway............IF ANYONE CAN DO IT, THEN WHAT IS SHE WAITING FOR? HAH! i know, i know, that is wrong, but it made me feel a little better :devil:
06-17-2008, 12:41 PM
The last part of your statement is telling. She's being mean and petty about your weight loss, particularly to your husband, because in her mind, you've got what she wants...a plan to successfully lose weight! And that makes her jealous.
However, to me that isn't that insulting...I say it about myself all the time, and by it I just mean that I was overweight for so long and had such bad habits that if I can turn it around, I bet that just about anyone can. So she may just be commenting on your incredible habit turnaround, too.
Take it calmly and with a little laugh, like most MIL comments ought to be taken.
06-17-2008, 12:51 PM
thanks mandalinn.......i think that 15 years of being on her proverbial **** list has left me feeling a little paranoid and jaded.
lets just say no matter how nice and good to her i am, i'm never ever gonna be good enough for her son. oh well............
06-17-2008, 01:35 PM
UGH mother in laws can be a real pain in the butt sometimes! Mine is losing weight for the wedding and that is fun and interesting in itself. She has a way of taking anyone else's joy and making it about her. Its truly annoying. SO i know how you must be feeling about your MIL, because mine would probably say something the same and i would react the same way. But hey, she is acknowledging that you have lost weight, maybe not in the most complimentary way, but just roll with it. Its not like she's going to change or apologize. You've made a lot of progress and are a happier, healthier person because of it. Don't let her get you down. Mandalinn is probably right, she's just jealous!!
06-17-2008, 02:14 PM
I understand COMPLETELY!! I have THE Monster in Law from HE**!!! She has never liked me, I have never been "good enough" for her son. Unless of course she wants or need something, then I am the first DIL she calls. I took care of her after 2 back surgeries. I was at her house when she had her stroke, I knew what was happening and I (nearly litterally) threw her in the car and drove like a mad woman to the hospital. The doctor told her if it wasn't for my quick actions she most likely would not have walked again. But despite all that I remain at the top of her SH** List. To make matter worse she dotes on out son, but treats our daughter much the same way she treats me.
But let me in on a little secret. My daughter and I keep our cool and laugh inside with each of her little fork tounged remarks. Because, we know...one day...WE WILL CHOOSE HER NURSING HOME!!!
I'd say that is what you call KARMA!!!
06-17-2008, 02:27 PM
:bravo::cheer2::cheer3::cheer2::cheer3::encore::eb ike::ebike:you need those type of people in your life to keep you motivated.
keep going Tiff don't let anyone put you down
06-17-2008, 02:35 PM
i feel your pain .... shes just jealous and miserable ... dont let it get you down let it motivate you think to yourself hmmph ! ill show her !
also i know it hurt your feelings that your husband didnt say anything to her i cant help you there because my MIL talks about me all the time and my husband says nothing ! and its so hard i feel really bad about it sometimes it makes me cry because i feel like im not special enough for him to defend but i think its really just a matter of men not knowing how to handle there mothers it dosent make it right but that seems to be how it is .... hang in there
06-17-2008, 06:30 PM
you guys ALL rock sooooo much, thanks for the posts, i have tears in my eyes now, i'm such a big sap lol.
and you guys make me laugh too!!!
hugs for everyone!!! on me! :grouphug:
06-17-2008, 06:44 PM
My husband and I have a unique in-law experience as our in-law's quirks don't bother us, it's our own parents that drive us nuts. My husband's mom is the pretend everything is peachy no matter what is going wrong, and my mom is the say whatever you're thinking no matter who it hurts type.
My mom hates my husband most of the time, and loves him whenever she wants something from him (or when she's comparing him to someone my single younger sister is dating).
His mom loves me (in a creepy, "why are you with my horrible son who is just like his father, the evil ex-husband" way.)
Hubby likes that he can always tell what my mom is thinking (because she is always saying it out loud). He hates his mom's guilt trips and way of insulting you with a compliment. I can't say that I like my MIL's way, as it makes it very difficult to get to know her, but there's no friction, where with my mom when she's supportive she's really there for you, but when she's critical duck and cover.