100 lb. Club - Really mortifying story for you tonight...completely O/T

06-08-2008, 11:55 PM
Ahhhh, the wonders of the family date ;)

Today we decided we'd take the kids to see the new Indiana Jones...it was AWESOME!

When we came out of the matinée, we decide to go and have some dinner....good idea, right? Well, maybe not tonight!

Now, if you haven't seen this movie yet...it's is very chaotic at the end and well...spinny, in a motion kind of way (anybody have a guess yet??? :lol:)

Halfway to the restaurant, Liam (10) said he had a headache. 3/4's of the way there, he said he felt a bit barfy....here's where you'd THINK an accomplished set of parents would use their brains...but alas...noooo :no:

Squeamish people...STOP NOW......
We ordered our food...Liam was pale...
I asked him if he wanted to go outside for some fresh air. He said yes and we got up. As we neared the area where you turn left to go outside, or right to go to the bathroom...he said "bathroom" I tried to hurry him that way...HOPING we'd make it.....NOPE!

Right in front of the cash register, and THREE booths full of people...my beautiful, angelic son puked his guts out on the floor! :barf:

I kept my cool. Someone rushed over to me and handed me a roll of paper towel. I covered the entire area. A girl tried to help (waitress), I told her that she really didn't need to do that..I'd clean it myself.
I'm sure she was relieved, and she disappeared. Another woman rushed my son a bucket, and he went to the bathroom area to hide...he was so embarrassed! I continued cleaning. Another waitress brought me a big bag, a bottle of spray cleaner, and a bottle of febreeze, and a bucket of water and a sponge. I finished cleaning it up....apologizing the entire time, and possibly more embarrassed than ever before in my life.

When I was done, I went to Liam, helped him get cleaned up. Washed the bucket, the bathroom sink and counter etc....
Liam says with a smile "I feel better now Mom....I'm HUNGRY!!!!!!"

I made sure that the waiter, etc. knew that this was a motion sickness incident, and NOT a Norwalk one (AND left a $20.00 tip!)...but MAN....WHAT A NIGHT!!! Unbelievable...poor kid.
When we got back to the table, Rudes and Tali didn't even know what had happened!!!

WHY did I tell you this story???? Because I needed to share it with my friends! ;)
Does anyone have a kid/bodily function horror story to share??? Somehow, sharing these stories helps one to feel just a little better...come on Mommies...please???

I am going to rest now, and veg out watching TV
I need a :hug:

06-09-2008, 12:03 AM
Oh no! I don't have anything to contribute but I definitely feel for you. How embarassing!

06-09-2008, 12:05 AM
I have an 8 year old son who seemed to vomit for no apparent reason for two years straight. We always had to have grocery bags in the car for him. I finally did teach him that when he was going to be sick, to not keep his head ABOVE the table, but to duck under it so other people eating didn't have to watch him :D I've noticed as well that waitstaff are SO happy when we do volunteer to clean it up ourselves!! You are awesome -- Christopher has been hungry after a few of his "incidents" as well, but I've been way too embarrased to stick around where we are at.

06-09-2008, 12:05 AM
When my now 23 year old was oh about 4 - hubby and I took her to a fairly upscale restaurant. It was wall to wall people and we were seated pretty close to the bathroom, we could see the door to the girls room from where we sat. Lindsy had to go pee and decided she wanted to be a big girl and go by herself - since we could clearly see the door we said ok. A few minutes later I hear "Mommy can you wipe my butt" and yup here comes Lindsy pants to her knees holding her butt cheeks apart~~she went number 2! Never dawned on me to ask if it was 1 or 2 before we let her go herself!!! She could wipe herself for 1 but not 2!! thanksfull no one got upset !!!:o

06-09-2008, 12:07 AM
Several years ago - I was driving with my kids from Alabama to Texas, we were going to stay with my parents for a while before we moved overseas, to join hubby. About an hour into the trip my daughter said she was not feeling too well.

We went into a Cracker Barrell - thinking let her settle a while - probably motion sickness - walked around a bit - she said she felt better - and both kids said they were hungry (our plan in the beginning was to get breakfast mid-morning) anyway - so we order breakfast - my daughter did not eat much. No big deal right?

We go out to the car and she gets sick, oooookay - well - at that time we had no place to live - so it's not like we can turn around and go home.

That poor girl - got sick from Alabama to honest to God - the Texas state line. A 12 hour trip turned into a 14 hour trip and my poor son and I - thought we were going to start joining her...... we were low on funds so we could not stop and get a hotel and to be honest - I was so flustered it never occured to me to call someone and ask them to wire me money for a hotel. Since then - I have kept a can of Febreeze in the car.........:dizzy:

06-09-2008, 12:07 AM
Awwe Linda...I'm sorry you were so embarrassed!

This one is gross...so squeamish people DON'T READ any further!

I am not a mom...but my little brother mortified me. When I was about 10 I had one of my good friends stay the night. My little brother wasn't feeling well that day and apparently he got up to go to the bathroom (#2) in the middle of the night and missed the toilet. So morning comes and my new friend ended up going in the bathroom and stepped in the mess.....slipped, fell and hit her head on the bathroom wall. Needless to say she told EVERYONE she knew and I was beyond mortified.

06-09-2008, 12:08 AM
I once whoopsed my cookies in a store parking lot in front of a ton of strangers. Yay for stomach viruses.
Also, I was feeding one of my students strained peaches (I teach special education) and she sneezed strained peaches all over me...right before I had to go to a meeting with my principal!
And, saving the best for last..
I took my 2 year old niece to my apartment pool. She was potty trained, but apparently someone fed her a ton of grapes before they dropped her off with me. She was standing by my lounge chair and said "oops". I look over and

Gross alert!!!

She had an attack of massive diarrhea on the textured concrete ground!!! EWWWWW! I had to go to the apartment office and get cleaning supplies while my DH carried her back inside and dumped her in the tub. I had to apologize to all of the people in the pool (thank God she did it out of the pool!!), clean up the mess, and and dump bleach over the spot. The people in the pool were parents, and were really nice about it, but I was mortified for weeks.
I hope that ,makes you feel better!

06-09-2008, 12:11 AM
My daughter was dancing in a dance recital at our state fair years ago. Walking in to the fair my son told me he didn't feel that well. He was probably 4 or 5. For the show we were seated in an extremely crowded auditorium with seats very close together. People were so crammed in there that there was no way to leave quickly. My son said he didn't feel so good again. I didn't know what to do. One of the kids had drank a large cup of lemonade which was now empty. You guessed it. He projectile vomited into the cup & filled it to the brim. I don't think many people were aware of it at the time but it kind of splashed out even a little bit. He felt fine afterwards but I had to hold a cup of vomit till the end of the show, carry it out and dispose of it in the first trash can I found. Someone was definitely looking out for us that day. Can you imagine what could have happened? I guess he could have used my purse. At least it wouldn't have gotten on a stranger.

06-09-2008, 12:13 AM
Oh man. I get soooo motion sick so I feel SOO sorry for poor Liam!!

I was on a flight with a group of peers for a teen leadership conference, flying from Orlando back home to London when a friend of mine threw up all over herself, her mom, two of our friends, and some poor guy sitting BEHIND her. We all had to make make-shift shirts out of the blankets, and give the shirts WE had on, to the other people on the plane that were... splattered...really.. with vomit.

And yet - honestly, it still wasn't the worst flight I've ever had!

06-09-2008, 12:14 AM
I have no similar tales.. but I SO feel for you Linda :hug:

06-09-2008, 12:15 AM
I once whoopsed my cookies in a store parking lot in front of a ton of strangers. Yay for stomach viruses.
Also, I was feeding one of my students strained peaches (I teach special education) and she sneezed strained peaches all over me...right before I had to go to a meeting with my principal!
And, saving the best for last..
I took my 2 year old niece to my apartment pool. She was potty trained, but apparently someone fed her a ton of grapes before they dropped her off with me. She was standing by my lounge chair and said "oops". I look over and

Gross alert!!!

She had an attack of massive diarrhea on the textured concrete ground!!! EWWWWW! I had to go to the apartment office and get cleaning supplies while my DH carried her back inside and dumped her in the tub. I had to apologize to all of the people in the pool (thank God she did it out of the pool!!), clean up the mess, and and dump bleach over the spot. The people in the pool were parents, and were really nice about it, but I was mortified for weeks.
I hope that ,makes you feel better!

WOW....I think you win...so far!! ;)

06-09-2008, 12:17 AM
I don't know. That dance recital story turned me green....;)

06-09-2008, 12:19 AM
As a "mother's day" gift to my mom a few years ago -- my youngest was a baby and oldest was like 3 -- we took her out to lunch and then shopping.
On the way home mom was in the back seat to give the baby a bottle in between the two boys -- oldest threw up all over her and youngest did the same -- so I'm outside the car with oldest changing his clothes on the side of the road (thank god I bought him new clothes that day) and mom is in the car trying to clean up herself and the little guy -- LOVE having other parent's around when these things happen because you know they understand.

06-09-2008, 12:21 AM
I guess most parents have run into something similar. My own experience was when my son was a small baby. He was never a sick baby, but when it did hit, it hit big. He woke up in the middle of the night and when I went to his bedroom, he looked at me quizzically. He didn't want to lie back down, so I brought him into the living room, lay down on the sofa with him on me, and rubbed his back to get him to fall asleep.

Yep, he lost it all over my face.

So I took care of cleaning him, and as I was carrying him back in his nice clean jammies, it started leaking out his diaper. So back to the washroom to clean him, then to clean the spots on the carpet, then to wash some dirty baby pj's. Then my husband gets home from working nightshift, hears our son awake in his room, and... yeah, all over his face too, before I got out of the laundry room. Only ever happened once, and that was enough!:dizzy:

06-09-2008, 12:31 AM
2nd sorta date for my husband and I way back when ... we took a friend and her son to the fair in Portland.

We took him on all the rides - everything that his mom couldn't tolerate. The spinny ones. The roller coasters. Everything. We ate junk - hotdogs and nachos and cotton candy. And tons of Coke.

And at the end of the evening my friend says why don't we stay down here and you and [then b/f] go on the ferris wheel together. So we get on the wheel thinking how romantic it is for the two of us together. At the very top ... I lean in for a kiss .. and he turns and barfs over the front bar - onto the people below us.

Ferris wheel comes down, we're asked to get off.

Quel romantic. ;)


06-09-2008, 12:41 AM
Hahahaha! Oh man!! What a crazy story, PhotoChick! And bless him, you married him anyway. That's love ;)

06-09-2008, 12:45 AM
ROFLMAO!! omg people. This thread is a GREAT appetite suppressant!!! Seriously, I was all pacing for a nighttime snack for a half hour until I read this. Thanks!!


When my son was about 5 months old I took him to see my relatives for the first time. I hadnt seen them in like 5 years. Aunts, uncles, cousins. So I am holding my son, facing me, smiling and talking and standing up. Suddenly it gets quiet and everyone is looking at me. A kid says, "what's THAT??" and points. There is a HUGE glob of babypoo oozing out the back top of my son's diaper!! The size of an orange. And as I look, it plops to the floor and more oozes out. Good Lord... what a mess that was to clean up.

And then there was the time I had 3 kids ages 1, 2 and 3.5 and they all got the stomach flu, throwing up AND diarreah at the same time. Guess who bought a carpet cleaner that week.

06-09-2008, 12:49 AM
Hahahahahahaha. Love the carpet cleaner comment.

06-09-2008, 01:57 AM
Poor baby! Hope he feels fine now. I saw that movie and wanted to vomit because I hated it, so I know how he feels.

First night I was home after having my baby, first baby, I had to change his diaper after being spoiled by the nurses for the whole first week. So I am changing his diaper for the first time, and new to nursing; I decided to let him nurse without his diaper because I was tired and I was trying to get the hang of nursing. I started feeling this warm sensation in my mouth. I thought it was my booby milk spraying me in the face somehow, because I was totally out of it. I had no idea what loose cannons baby boys are. He got me good. Peed right into my mouth. I learned my lesson quick. I screamed for his daddy to come help me. That was the last time I was too stubborn to ask for help. Maybe not the last.

06-09-2008, 02:00 AM
Linda, I did the EXACT same thing to my big sister when I was about 7 (she was in her early 20's).

I had just gotten off of a plane to visit her and she took me to Souper Salads for dinner. I felt sick and told her so. We were almost to the bathroom, which was right near the entrance at the hostess station when I proceeded to vomit all over my sister's arm (she was also trying to cover my mouth).

I KNOW I have it coming to me one day. Lord help me.

06-09-2008, 03:35 AM
I wasn't called the Barf Queen when I was younger for nothing. There are plenty of tales of me barfing during road trips, but I think this one is my personal best:

When I was about four, my parents decided to take my brother (3 at the time) and I to the Hoop Dee Doo Revue while we were at Disney World. For those of you not familiar with the show, it's basically a "frontier" Western type musical show with different skits. The menu is all you can eat corn, fried chicken, ribs, baked beans, etc. Well, while the show is going on people are being served food, so my parents are noticeably distracted while trying to feed us kids. My mom fills up my plate, I wolf it down. My dad looks over to see my empty plate, and thinks that my mom must have only given me a tiny bit, so he gives me seconds. I take charge of thirds myself (Gee, no wonder I have a weight problem :p). All is fine and well until the bus shuttle ride back to our resort. At some point during the fifteen minute ride, I suddenly realize "I don't feel so good..." (famous last words), and my parents, not knowing what to do with a barfy kid on a bus, panic. I puke in the bus aisle and all over myself. From what I hear, it was an impressive amount of vomit to have come from a little four year old girl. The bus driver radios another nearby bus and we stop on the side of the road to exchange buses. I'm the first off. I puke on the exit staircase for the bus, meaning people had to not only hop over my vomit once, but twice. My dad still likes to joke that they abandoned that bus and that it's still there on the side of the road rusting.

06-09-2008, 04:03 AM
I don't have kids but am very, read VERY, prone to motion sickness. I can't even sit in the back for car share at work. I'm in a band and we tour. Our road stories are infamous because of, moi. I think I've covered the countryside from San Francisco to Seattle and back 10 times over. :barf:

P.S. I'm 33 lol.

06-09-2008, 06:17 AM
This whole thing is gross so the squemish should NOT read on....A few years ago my ex-husband bought some colored candy canes for the Christmas tree...4 of the kids had a stomach bug...but it hit one day AFTER they had eaten waffles and some of the candy canes...Robbie, then 8 or 9 , felt like he was going to throw up, got up out of bed, trying to make it to the bathroom, but proceeded to puke all over his brother, Evan, in the next bed instead...Evan woke up covered in Robbie's blue waffle barf and started adding to the mess some RED waffle barf...took HOURS ro clean everything up and we too, invested in a steam cleaner!

06-09-2008, 07:15 AM
I know from bitter experience how difficult it can be to get vomit from highly coloured food out of furnishings. This happened a couple of years back when my DD was 6. It was my last day at work before the Christmas holidays and we have a tradition of bringing the kids in for the morning. One of the staff always makes a big iced Christmas cake and this time was no exception. My DD does not like fruitcake but took a fancy to the Santa Clause figure made from molding icing and proceeded to eat a fair quantity of it. One of my colleagues even told her to go careful or it could make her sick.

Fast-forward several hours later and we were attending the annual Party and Presentation of my son's Tae Kwon Do group. All evening Hannah was not her usual outgoing self and hardly wanted to dance and mainly sat next to me saying she didn't feel very well - at one point she even laid out and fell asleep next to me with a disco blearing. Once the presentations were over I decided to call it a day and head home. My DH had not long been home and when I told him about Hannah not being well he took her for a cuddle on the couch. They'd only just got settled when she sat up saying she felt sick and that was it - the flood gates opened. All over DH, the couch, the carpet everywhere but not a spot on herself. I was thankful that we have a leather couch but DH's white shirt never recovered and the carpet still has a faint pink stain that has never come out despite repeated cleaning.


06-09-2008, 11:57 AM
When I was in the 7th grade, I stayed home from school because I was sick to my stomach (throwing up). By the afternoon, I felt better so my mom said she would take me to Waldenbooks and I could pick out a book.

I threw up on the counter at Waldenbooks.

I am still mortified.

06-09-2008, 12:04 PM
WHY did I tell you this story???? Because I needed to share it with my friends! ;)
Does anyone have a kid/bodily function horror story to share??? Somehow, sharing these stories helps one to feel just a little better...come on Mommies...please???

Do I have a story? Ahhh....I bet that anyone who has a kid, has ever been around a kid, or was actually once a kid themselves has a story!

Let's see.....

Last summer at a family reunion DD #2 was swimming in a pool at a resort. All DH's extended family started tricking into the pool area, and I kept trying to put faces and names together.....DD puked in the pool and my first contact with DH's 19 year old female cousin in many years was, "You're April, right? Can you throw me a towel?"

And the entire extended family had to evacuate the pool area for a few hours.

This past fall DS #2 was doing really really great with potty training. But I picked him up after I got off work and we had to run an errand. I needed to register some of us for a 5K race at a running store. I usually avoid this particular store cause the owner is kind of a jerk, but I had to go there to register for the race.

I fill out form #1. No problem.
I'm filling out form #2 when a little voice says, "Mommy, I have to go pee."

"Okay, hang on like one second."

I start form #3. "Mommy, I really have to go."

Okay, I look at the owner of the store and call him over. "Do you have a bathroom?"

"No, we don't." (Such a liar, of course he does). "You'll have to walk down to the bakery next door."

I put my pen down and turn to DS to take him to the bakery. He is now standing in a puddle.

"Do you have a mop then?"

I was annoyed at the time (mainly at myself and the store owner). Most people would have allowed a small child to use their bathroom. Alas.....

06-09-2008, 12:20 PM
These stories are too funny! Not at the time, I know.

Midwife, serves that owner right for denying a kid a toilet. I hope he had to clean it up himself.

My youngest was a major vomiter so I have several of those stories, but my favorite one involved another bodily fluid.

We were working with a real estate agent looking for our first house. Our daughter was around three, I think. Normally we didn't take her with us, but this house was within walking distance of our rental. We had finished looking at the upstairs and started downstairs to the basement when I hear, "uh-oh." And my darling child is peeing as she's walking down the stairs in someone else's house. I was mortified, of couse, plus I had no idea how to clean it up, and neither did the agent. It was an unfinished basement and the stairs were raw wood so we just hightailed it out of there as fast as we could. Didn't buy that house.

06-09-2008, 12:26 PM
Yeah, my husband is the youngest of 3 boys and his brothers used to call him Peter-Puke. (His name isn't Peter, btw.) Apparently he's well known throughout the family for getting motion sick at the drop of a hat. The family stories are hysterical. Not to mention all the stories from when he was in the Marine Corps and puked every time he had to get on a transport. ;)


06-09-2008, 01:20 PM
Ohhhhh, THANK YOU!!!!!!

I wasn't sure how well that post would go over! ;)
Thanks SO much for sharing your wonderful, awful stories with me...I feel MUCH better now :lol:

I love you guys!

06-09-2008, 05:37 PM
My family went on a bus trip when overseas one time. My brother, Tom is very prone to any kind of motion sickness. The bus was the kind with elevated seats and the aisle is lower than the seats. Sure enough he puked in the aisle. Everytime they went up a hill, the puke rolled to the back of the bus & when they went down the hill, it rolled to the front. My mom was mortified.

When we were moving to a new house, we had to move into a hotel for 11 days before it was finished. We had 3 kids. Five of us was bad enough with one bathroom, but when the stomach flu went through us, it was horrible. And it wasn't just vomiting, if you know what I mean, at the same time too!. I had to keep calling for a maid. Puke on the floor, puke on the bed. It went on like that for 3 days, until everyone of us had gotten sick. I kept apologizing to the maid!

06-09-2008, 06:54 PM
No kids yet, so I had to add my favorite story that's still being recycled around my family table 20 years later. I am about 6-8 years old and going to Disneyland for the first time. I ride many rides, including Pirates of the Caribbean which was way too scary and dark for me resulting in crying throughout the ride. Then I cried over not getting the expensive ballerina bear in a shop. Then we proceed to eat at the Blue Bayou restaurant (for those who haven't been, it is a very fancy and expensive place, the fanciest in the park). I proceed to say, "I don't feel so good" and barf and cry from embarassment all over my just delivered plate of chicken strips and most of the rest of the dinner table. I must say the Disney folks were very sweet about it and basically just folded up the tablecloth with all the puke and dinner and trundled it off to the kitchen. Needless to say, the family has never in 20 years and about 10 more visits to Disneyland ever stepped foot in the Blue Bayou.

06-12-2008, 07:21 AM
I know this post is several days old, but I had to share the story that won my mom the "man for the day" award at work one time. (The guys were all trying to come up with the grossest story, she won.)

When my cousin was around 2 he just LOVED green beans, couldn't get enough of them. He usually had a few with dinner every night. One morning my aunt gets up and quietly goes into his bedroom to wake him up for the day. Turns out he was already awake. He was sitting quite happily in his crib with his diaper off, recycling his green beans from the night before.

06-12-2008, 11:07 AM
Blecccchhhhh--- ohhhh gross!!!! You're the winner, Gale!

06-12-2008, 12:45 PM
My son suffered severe migraines since he was about 5 years old. He got them approximately twice a week and would throw up uncontrollably. Sometimes so much so it meant a stay in the hospital with IV fluids to rehydrate him. I do not remember one family vacation that does not involve him puking at some place. My husband, bless his heart, has always been the clean up man, he can stomach it much better than I.

However our "favorite" gross family story does not involve vomit. My DD was about 5 months old and my DS about 3 1/2. DD was on my lap and I noticed a little crusty by her nose. Thinking it was a speck of dried cereal or something I picked it with my finger nail. To my surprise a VERY LARGE GREEN Boogie was attached. I said, "Oh Dan, get mommy a kleenex please, Sissy has a big boogie."

He runs in with a kleenex and says "I wanna see!!" I hold up my finger and quick as a shot he grabs my hand and sucks it off my finger.

He is 17 now and HATES when I tell that story!!

As far as embarrassing goes....I was 8 weeks pregnant with this same son. I woke up early one morning and was spotting. I went into ER and they couldn't find a heartbeat, so they wanted to do an ultrasound. They told me I had to drink a LOT of water and proceeded to bring me several glasses of ice water. I drank 4 glasses and the nurse brought me 4 more. I asked for room temp water and she siad she would bring some, she never did. DH is encouraging me to keep drinking the ice water. I keep chugging saying I just don't feel well. They bring more water...more ice water. My stomach starts to cramp up. I am tired, it is only 6:00 AM and I have been up for over 2 hours, I am scared, I think I am having a miscarriage, and I am now having severe stomach cramps.

I am sitting in the hallway outside the ultrasound room, there is an older gentleman in front of me wearing a hospital gown, sitting in a wheelchair. At that point I announce...I GOTTA PUKE!! Instantly one of those little curved basin is shoved in front of my mouth. I projectile vomit what seems like several gallons of ice water. As it shoots out me and hits the little basin they gave me, it sprays out of that pathetically small basin and down this gentleman's back. I think he was asleep in the chair and he suddently screams, "Who the **** turned the cold water on me!!" I started to cry. The nurse looks at me with total disgust and says..."I hope you know your gonna have to start drinking all over again."

I was mortified. In the end everything was fine with the baby, but to this day I cannot drink ice water on an empty stomach.

06-12-2008, 02:11 PM
I have one. When I was about 5 I was a flower girl in a family friends wedding. The morning of the wedding I woke up with a touch of the stomach flu, combine with a massive case of nerves. Anyways fast foward to the wedding. I was susposed to straighten the brides train before she and her new husband walked up the aisle. I fixed her train and then wham! I puked all over the back of her dress. Ooops! My mom and I were both mortified, and it was all captured on video too. Thank-god she had planned on revoming the train for the reception!

06-12-2008, 02:56 PM
So this happened to me a few years ago. My bf and i had just recently gotten serious. on X-mas morning and afternoon we spet it with his family and i ate quite a bit. Well a little later we went to my parents house and did presents and all that good stuff and i didnt feel well so i went upstairs and layed down on the couch. I was in A LOT of pain and when everyone finally realized i had been gone for a while they came upstairs to check on me. I was pretty much laying in the couch crying. I get up and run the the bathroom to vomit. about 5 min later when i lay down my mom brings my a garbage bag and i threw up prolly 6 times in from of my bf as he is gagging cause he is pretty queezy. THEN it decides to come out of both ends. OMG embarassed and mortified i get up and go to the bathroom and i had liquidy #2 running down my legs all over the floor and the couch. I took a shower and went downstairs thinking i was better. an hour or so later everyone was sleeping and i couldnt make it to the bathroom so i run to a garbage can and out it comes from both ends again. in the garbage from my mouth and all over the carpet from my backside. prolly the most mortifying thing to EVER happen to me.