20-Somethings - i dont think it's healthy.. but...
05-20-2008, 01:56 AM
i feel guilty when i eat now! like, im sticking to plan, and i think TOM is coming so i am especially hungry, but whenever i eat anything i feel really guilty, even though i KNOW that not eating will bring my metabolism to a standstill, its like im still so surprised that this is working that i dont want to wreck it!
Guilt is a bad feeling to have about food, very bad! Its a fact you need food in order to survive AND in order to lose weight and your doing really well! So what you feelin' bad about?
05-20-2008, 02:57 AM
Don't let the food control you. You are in control. You already lost almost 40 lbs! Also, like Spoz said, you need food to survive. No need to feel guilty because you are eating to live, not living to eat.
05-20-2008, 03:30 AM
Big congrats on your weight loss so far. Are you on a different less restrictive plan than in the past? Is that why you feel guilty? TOM being on the way affects so many things for me especially how i perceive things. Do you think you could be affected similarly? Maybe the extreme guilt is part of that tom coming soon stuff. I'm at the beginning of my cycle which is probably the best time to be getting started on a weight loss plan. Give me a couple of weeks and i'll be struggling to keep from eating to soothe my emotions.
Continue to hang in there and remember that if you do slip up at some point that you can always make a fresh start at any time. Of course that's probably easier said than done but it's true nonetheless. For me the only thing that really gets in the way of me climbing back on the wagon is the negative downward spiral of my self-recriminations making me feel like crap, feeling like crap making me beat up on myself more, etc. etc.
Eating is how we nourish and sustain our bodies. Of course it can also be how we abuse our bodies as well which is what makes the whole weight-loss thing more complicated. An alcoholic can and must break up with alcohol We can't break up with food. We have to form a new and healthier relationship with food. I won't tell you to "try not to feel guilty" because that never works with me. I'll just tell you again to hang in there. You don't have to always progress at the same rate. For those of us with lots to lose we've got to think marathon rather than sprint. You've already made great progress and you will continue to. Maybe just consider telling that part of you that feels guilty that it's ok to be hungry and to eat. It's more than ok-eating is meant to be how we nourish and sustain our bodies, one way we take good care of ourselves and love ourselves.
Good luck to you as you continue on your journey. I just joined a few days ago and plan to visit a lot because there are so many examples (like yours) of people actually succeeding at dropping weight. All of us who come here are sustained, in part, by these examples. That's why we come here.
Thanks for sharing your struggles
a big :hug:, from Ailey
05-20-2008, 08:02 AM
I can relate to you.... It's just part of my struggle and its something I need to overcome. Cant go from eating too much to not eating enough since I want to relate to food in a healthy way from now on.
Keep making good choices, get your calories in and we'll get there :hug:
05-20-2008, 08:23 AM
I definitely understand how you feel - I don't always feel that way but have actually been on that kick lately. The good news is that I do stay above 1200 calories/day even when I am feeling guilty (okay, maybe once in a busy blue moon I dip below 1200...but I feel worse about that!)....that being said, I do agree with the above that we should not feel guilty about eating - but I also know how hard it is to not - I am there with you and don't really have an answer for the cure to this dilemma - I am just here to feel it with you!
Good Luck and keep your head up!
05-20-2008, 09:23 AM
:hug I know how you feel, I had to force dinner down last night. I knew if I didn't I would be hungry and weak willed later. I have no solid advice for you, just hugs. There are some days where I feel like I have this 'figured out' and have a good relationship with food, some days where I want to binge on crisco, and some days where I don't feel like I 'deserve' to eat anything. We'll get through this, make conscientious decisions with your head, not your belly!
06-08-2008, 07:41 PM
I know how you feel, too. I try not to let it though, because I know that I'm going to have a struggle with food for the rest of my life. Even when I do attain my goal (I say when because I'm going to do it!) I know how easy it's going to be to just put that weight back on again and I'll be darned before I let that happen. You have to live, too, and as long as you know how to make healthy choices and not fall into an unhealthy pattern, then you'll be a-ok. That's why amazing places like this website exist:-)
06-08-2008, 08:35 PM
I am right there with ya babe
Ever since I started doing dailyplate I feel guilty ever time I add food in my log - but I know I need to eat my daily calories or I feel like over eating.
I bought 100 calorie packs in order to not feel guilty about chips or sweets because I am eating a controlled amount. So far it is hard because they are in the house...and so am I...and that's hard...but perhaps getting some of those 100 calorie packs will help.
06-10-2008, 12:57 PM
I was talking to my best friend the other day when I realized that I have some sort of eating disorder. Anorexia and Bulimia are so publicized that it's easy to forget that there are other problems out there.
I've had this problem for a long time. When I try to eat healthier, I eat very, very little. I'll drink a lot of water, and then have a couple snacks consisting of fruits and vegetables. However, those aren't very filling, and by 2 or so, I'm at work with nothing to eat and a rumbling stomach. At that point, I feel proud for eating so little, guilty for feeling proud, and scared of slowing down my metabolism. So, to rectify those last two feelings, I eat when I get home. But at that point, I usually have the idea in my head of "oh, I've barely eaten all day, I can eat whatever I want and I'll still be at my calorie goal." So I eat bad food, and I don't pay attention to calories. After my binge, reality comes crashing down and I feel bad, like I've jumped off the wagon. And I have. I keep wrestling with the same 7 pounds, going up and down. So I'll resolve to do better in my diet, which leads to starving myself again.
I keep trying to find resources that will help me with this unhealthy relationship with food. But it never seems to help. Even before I was dieting, I did the same thing. But my excuse back then was "I just get so busy, I forget to eat." But really, I liked it. I just really need to learn how to get this under control. I haven't set an actual calorie goal for myself. Will that help? I'm 20, between 286-293 pounds (depending on which day you catch me), and obviously have a substantial amount of weight to lose.
I just feel like I'm sick, and I really need help.