General chatter - Why the self-hating name?




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Apple Cheeks
05-20-2008, 01:18 AM
This is something that has been on my mind for a little while since I've been a member of 3FC: I am disturbed by some of the user names here.

People are picking names like "fattykathy" or "TonsofChunk" and I don't see that as being very nice to themselves. To me, it's just so negative and self-loathing that I think it may actually do some harm. I'm a believer in the power of the mind, and I think this just sends it the wrong message.

I think we all get down and tell ourselves things we shouldn't, but I am truly disturbed that some people here seem to be publicly abusing themselves by picking derogatory names. It would be like walking around in the mall wearing a huge sign that said "LARDBUTT" or something like that. It's demeaning and cruel to yourself.

I think it would be more helpful, in mind and spirit, if people chose more positive or optimistic names. (Apple Cheeks refers to my rosy face, not my derriere if you were wondering ;) )

Anyone else want to share their thoughts on this?


(P.s. I don't know if there really is a "fattykathy" or "tonsofchunk" on 3FC. But if there is, I'm not picking on you: I made those up :hug:).


SoulBliss
05-20-2008, 01:30 AM
This is related, but different...I really cringe when I read "I have been so good!" or "I have been so bad!".

We are not "bad" if we eat a cookie. Are we on plan? Maybe not, but that doesn't make us "bad". I truly feel that this whole mindset sets one up for failure and an all or nothing mentality.

Spoz
05-20-2008, 02:46 AM
Apple you seem like a really posivtive girl which is by no means a bad thing! But lots of people dont have any self esteem and I think those names are probably years of habit of putting themselves down! I dont think it helps though...a positive attitude is the best to maintain I agree..


Sassy_Chick
05-20-2008, 02:57 AM
I was one of those girls. When I first joined here my user name was "fattlady" cuz that is how I felt. But soon after being here a while, people made me realize that wasn't me. That was just what I have been thinking of myself all these years. So the nice moderators of this lovely forum changed my user name to Sassy_Chick. ;)

Thanks everybody, your awesome.

:hug:

THE Heather
05-20-2008, 04:03 AM
I'm going to have to agree with both Apple and Soul. Those who beat themselves up will continue to do so throughout their journey. It's so sad to see someone who thinks SO little of themselves because of their weight. There is more to them than their weight and sometimes I wish I could just reach through the screen and knock some sense into some people.

And as far as "I've been good" and "I've been bad" I think it's absolutely sad that it's come down to that. Being on and off plan is one thing, but it doesn't make you and good and or bad person.

I'm going to rant if I don't shut up.

Sorry for the pointlessness of this all.

blondebritbrat17
05-20-2008, 04:05 AM
Yep I have noticed these names too and I'm a little bothered by them as well. It makes me feel bad for them. I do STILL think in terms of "Oh I was so bad today" and I am working on that myself. Some of it is I think as you go along in your journey your mind set and how you see things changes for some people and then some people it just takes a little while longer :-).

net knee
05-20-2008, 04:24 AM
I use to call myself a heifer... sometimes still do... Bad bad habit but slowly going away... now i call myself a "loser" lol in a good way!! B/c i'm finally LOSING some i want to lose!! (my sanity is long gone btw)...
My name on here is a nick name my mom gave me as a child... when i see it, hear it, or think of it all i can hear in my head is my mom singing "neeettt kneeeeee" :)makes me smile:D

What's the meaning behind your screen/forum names?

JayEll
05-20-2008, 07:05 AM
Occasionally if a new member has what seems to be a very negative user name, the mods or admins will message them privately and ask if they would like to change their name to something more positive. One user had a bad one--I can't remember it--and it turned out it was what she and her husband called their overweight cat. She didn't think about what it might be saying about her.

Often members do want to change their user names as time goes on, if they chose negative names to begin with.

I don't like the "good" and "bad" statements much, either--I try to think of them as shorthand, but really, they are kind of childish judgments. A few days ago I had ice cream with a friend. I was not "bad"--I had worked it into my plan for the day. I was not "good" either. If anything I was simply living life with a plan.

Jay

Lovely
05-20-2008, 07:38 AM
I've often wondered the same thing, Apple.

I think that it may stem from the fact that we've all had our low points, and that in a moment of desperation some people join this group hoping to change, but also in that moment of desperation they can only see something negative that they want to change. And thus... negative sounding username.

I'd like to think that most people have them changed after a couple of days, after they realize we aren't here to abuse eachother about being overweight, but that we're trying to be supportive and positive about the entire experience.

(BTW - I've always been amused by your great avatar picks and how they work with your username! :D)

And SoulBliss, I completely agree... the "good/bad" thing has always been near the top of my "ACK!" list. I'm not saying I'm perfect... sometimes the only way my limited brain capacity is able to describe something is by using "good" or "bad". But, I don't like the way I feel when I describe myself as good or bad.

I made a choice about what to eat or not eat. It was neither good nor bad. It was food.

nansanurse
05-20-2008, 09:07 AM
You know Apple Cheeks, you have struck a chord with me! I even felt a bit down-hearted about the name (3 fat chicks), but then the title of the book caught my eye and that is how I came to be reading everyone's posts today. I think all of us have some self-esteem issues that are problematic but I hope that we will all be able to heal some as we journey toward our goals. I will think of this forum as the "phat chicks" and I hope to gain wisdom from all of you as I lose weight. :)

Lovely
05-20-2008, 09:37 AM
:wel3fc: Nansanurse!

gahundy
05-20-2008, 09:57 AM
i feel the same way about negative names, but sometimes we just don't knwo where they are coming from. for instance, one of the women i work with, her grandkids call her "fatnanny" now i am not sure of the story behind that but since she is a very slim woman, i ma sure there is one. but i thnk that it is great that so many people on here are concerned with the self esteem of all that it bothers us to see those negative names! this is such a great place to be.

Operator265
05-20-2008, 11:37 AM
I don't think you can be on this forum for very long and maintain a negative self image. Everyone is so supportive. I know I was led here for a reason.

BTW, mine is what I do for a living. Definately positive since it reminds me that I'm more than what I'm givin credit for at work. They seem to think I'm just a driver. Wrong!!! I've worked very hard to be better and I won't forget it and won't let them forget it.

Hat Trick
05-20-2008, 11:57 AM
When I first joined, the tag line (under my user name) was 'fat cow disease sucks' 'cause thats exactly how I felt. Low, angry at myself for having to lose the exact same weight for a third time (hence my UN), just felt awful about myself -- just like a big, fat mooooo cow. And yes, it sucked. :( But after posting and reading and getting so much support I changed it to 'no surrender, no retreat' because I feel invincible in this battle! YES I DO!!! And there is no surrendering to staying fat and no retreating into poor eating habits. Those days are gone for good! :yes: :yes: :yes: :D Oh, and did I mention how STRONG I feel? Like Atlas baby, like Atlas! :D

I think many folks who join are at a low self-esteem point in their lives and their UN reflect it. Nice to be able to get support and change our UN as our confidence goes up (and our weight goes down! ;))

KLK
05-20-2008, 11:58 AM
I can sympathize with the mindset behind calling yourself something like "FatAss3000" -- so many people with weight problems have such low self-esteem (myself included, especially when I was heavier, but still to this day). They honestly don't feel like they are "PrettyGirl1984." It IS negative, but I also think it's honest to how many people are feeling, especially when they first begin their weightloss journey. Part of the reason I first began to lose weight back in 2004 is because I was so sick of feeling so bad about myself and uncomfortable in my own body.

4 years later, I joined this forum and I chose a neutral name bc I usually feel neither like a "Fatty68" or like a "Bellissima100" but just... neutral. My self-esteem is over all much better than when I was much heavier, but I'm not sailing over the moon.

Edit: I also think that same people intentionally call themselves fat or fatty, etc. for empowering reasons. How many people avoid that word out of fear of being hurt or facing the truth about a serious weight problem? How many people who have weight problems avoid situations, confrontations and certain people out of fear of having the word "Fat" directed at them? Owning the word, owning the fact that you're "fat" can be empowering, hence the title of the site. It can be like saying "Yeah, i AM fat, I know it, and I have control over it."

tybeeanna
05-20-2008, 12:00 PM
Yes some of the names are very disconcerting my heart just aches.:(.For most of us we have been There and There is a place that as great as everyone seems to be on here we don't need to ever go to again . Sorry about going on
BTW my name is two of my favorites My fav place on earth and my Fav person my Mom:hug:

BellyUp
05-20-2008, 12:20 PM
I was just thinking about the name "3 Fat Chicks" when I saw this topic.

When I was younger and heavier, I used to get offended at the word "fat". It didn't matter if it was about me or not, it was a bad word.

Now, I call it like it is. I am fat. I don't hate myself because I say that, I just happen to be fat. I even get a little mad if people do the "oh whatever, you're not fat" thing. I am fat! Fat fat fat! It's not degrading! I can still be beautiful and fat...just not healthy and fit and beautiful and fat! That doesn't quite work, haha.

Why did we all come to this forum? Probably because we are fat. This is a forum for fat chicks (and dudes) who want to lose weight. I love the name of the site. Fat shouldn't be taboo! It's what our bodies are (or were). For me, once I accepted that I was fat, I felt better about myself. I wasn't hiding what was so obvious! Now...I can focus on being THIN and FIT :)

About the usernames. I dunno if mine qualifies as one that seems degrading to myself. It's not as harsh as the ones mentioned, but, it does say belly in it...and belly up is what fish are when they die. So, haha, I guess it's not super positive if you think about it. But honestly, I picked it because I thought it was kind of a cute name. I wanted to remember why I'm here...my belly (and a few other parts) and I want that fat chick that is my body to be belly up...GONE.

So, that being said. I am fat now. Then I'll be fit. :)

JulieJ08
05-20-2008, 12:42 PM
Nansanurse mentioned the forum name, "3 Fat Chicks on a Diet." I can certainly see how someone who thinks of using a UN like Fatty123 would think they were just fitting in with the norm here. They'll discover soon that it's all about support and positive thinking and good knowledge, but, well, the forum name *is* 3 Fat Chicks, after all.

junebug41
05-20-2008, 12:48 PM
Often members do want to change their user names as time goes on, if they chose negative names to begin with.Jay

I think this is one of the best things about this site. People do feel lousy about their weight and it does affect self esteem and that can be reflected in their username. But they got themselves here, to 3FC, this amazing support group and maybe, just maybe, the cloud is lifted.

I do feel bad that people feel that way, and while my username doesn't have a negative connotation, I do understand. It was kind of like when I was growing up and everyone had an opinion (usually negative) about my weight. So guess how that made me feel? Pretty negative about myself.

I have learned a LOT on this site. I really could talk for hours about how this site has helped me grow and understand this weightloss and maintenance business and I think for some, learning not to label yourself "fatty06" is part of their process.

Pixiesue
05-20-2008, 12:53 PM
I totally agree, when choosing a user name it should be something positive about yourself, or something that makes you happy My Username Pixiesue is my pugs name. I love my pug and thinking of her makes me happy hence the name! I also coose the fairy avatar because 1. she's pretty and too I couldn't find a picture of a pixie. I may put a picture of pixiesue up someday if she stops turning her back every time she sees the camera

Operator265
05-20-2008, 12:59 PM
I am fat. I don't hate myself because I say that, I just happen to be fat. I even get a little mad if people do the "oh whatever, you're not fat" thing. I am fat! Fat fat fat! It's not degrading! I can still be beautiful and fat

I am a beautiful woman who happens to be fat, overweight, rotund or whatever else you want to call it. I'm also a loving mother, one of the best workers around, a talented crafter, a good cook and so many other things I could fill 3 forum pages. But don't say I'm not fat. It is a lie. My ex is still chasing after me and he is a very good looking man with a good job. So there is alot more to me than my weight, but, I'm still fat.

We have to own it. Richard Pryor said shortly before he died that he wouldn't use the "n" word anymore because he had moved past it. But, when he was doing his earlier comedy it was necessary for the african-american population to take over that word and OWN it. Now we are dealing with B***h with women. We are taking it and OWNING it. And in the end, we will define what it means to ourselves and those around us and then it will quit being used as a means to hurt and discount us.

When I first started considering that I might be(yeah right, at 200lbs.) overweight, I lied to myself alot. It wasn't that bad. If this was different, if that was different, I wouldn't be so big. Well, fact is, about 9mths to 1 yr ago, I realized I am FAT. That's when my attitude started to shift and that's what led me here. So don't feel to bad for those who are still self deprecating. Just realize that it is the first step on the journey to self awareness and and then self love. Afterall, the 1st step in the 12 step programs is--Admitted that I have a problem.

lupin
05-20-2008, 01:41 PM
I was really tempted when joining to have a name like thunderthighs or something but decided it may bring too much attention towards myself if someone was to read the name and comment on it.
Instead I chose Lupin because its the first year I've grown them, :)

kaplods
05-20-2008, 01:47 PM
Often I think names may be interpreted by others differently than the person intended. No doubt, some people feel lousy, so create a lousy name. Others may be expressing self-deprecating humor, or even self-empowering "fattitude," or an inside (family) joke...

My handle is kaplods. It's one of the crazy nicknames my father created for me in early childhood. The "full" nickname is fat kaplods, but it was too long for the first site I tried it on, so I've used kaplods since. I love that nickname, even with the "fat" part, because my dad used it (and uses it still, along with his other nicknames Fat Jammers and Jammer Juicekins) with 100% love in his voice, and in his heart. He is the only person in my life, who uses the word with no judgement or malice attached (except my husband, and you can bet its a good part of the reason I picked him).

I am fat, and I am loveable. I'm not loveable despite being fat, the two are not, in any way, related.

I am fat and I am not ashamed of it. There's a possibility, perhaps even a probability that I will always be fat (just hopefully, ever less so). Whether or not I make it to my goal weight, has absolutely no bearing on my value or identity. I am not bad if I overeat, and I am not good if I do not. If I lose another 100 lbs and find I cannot lose more (or am tired of fighting to lose more, and decide I want to try to maintain) I will still be fat. In fact, I will still be morbidly obese (but not super morbidly obese, as I am now - I didn't even know the term existed until I watched Big Medicine Sunday night).

I also am tired of fat being treated and used as a bad (even profane) word. I don't remember the context, perhaps I was talking about how hard it is to find "off-the-rack" clothes being fat, and a friend/coworker said "you're not fat." I laughed, and she was embarassed and said "you know what I mean." The sad fact is I did. On what planet is 394 lbs not fat? - On a planet where fat is such a terrible thing - that a good person can't be fat, they must be something else (I'm not sure what). I detest the word "fluffy," or most of the other euphemism for fat. Fat is at least straight-forward and honest, not childish like "chubby," or pretentious like Rubenesque (besides, I'm too fat, even for Rubens tastes, I'm more Venus of Willendorf).

Fat can be beautiful. It can be sexy. It probably can even be healthy (at least when one is carrying only a tiny bit extra, and not an extra person on their person).

I think that the attitude of a person with a self-abusing attitude will not be changed by changing their name (because they've already inscribed the nastiness on their heart), but I've seen those attitudes change (and sometimes the names), as people come here are realize that a fat person is not obligated to hate themselves (which society tends to imply, if not outright shout at us all, to the point a person with an "extra" 5 lbs on their frame thinks they have to hate themselves if they can't remove it).

Shopaholic1204
05-21-2008, 03:35 AM
I sometimes get bothered by the negative names. I think everyone is beautiful and you shouldnt be so hard on yourself.

With that being said...Shopaholic is the title of my fave book and yes I am a shopaholic too. 1204 is my wedding date.

Tomato
05-21-2008, 10:03 AM
I have noticed those handles but I can't say that they bother me. I find it completely understandable to view oneself as "chubby", "fat" or something similar when one is afraid to step on a scale and clothes are bursting at the seams. I sure there are some women that are overweight and yet have a high self-esteem - thumbs up to them but I think those are in the dumps about their weight, looks and associated health issues greatly outweigh hem (pun not intended). Besides, nobody really knows why a person chooses her/his handle.
Years ago, I adopted a 10 yr old greyhound who was grossly overweight (any fat dog is a sad sight, but a fat greyhound is the worst). He was fed (by his original family) hamburgers and rice and he had no tuck at all. I nicknamed him Chubbik and I used that as much as I used his real name but I loved him to death (by the way, a year later, Chubbik was was down from his 97 lbs to about 74 lbs, a much better weight for him and he got a new lease on life). I often call one of my current greyhounds Chubster because she tends to gain weight over winter). Anyway, back to the original topic. So, maybe the ladies will happily decide to change the handles to something less indicative of their weight once they lose some. Quite frankly, seeing "fat" or "Chubby" in a handle does not bother me - but it bother me when somebody calls herself "Mommies_rule_the_world" or some such because it seems to indicate that women who don't have kids are somehow of lesser value (something that I am extremely sensitive to).

Apple Cheeks
05-21-2008, 10:21 AM
I understand what everyone is saying about owning the term, being honest about your weight, feeling depressed when picking a name, and so on. I do think there are some merits to that.

But in addition to everything I've already mentioned about having a negative name, I think it's also a poor choice because it's not going to apply for very long!

Like, if you named yourself "25yearoldgirl" it will no longer be true in a year! I think it's the same thing with picking a negative user name: it's not going to be true for very long, so why not pick something more positive (or at least something nuetral)?

Or maybe I'm just being a PollyAnna about it.... :o

BellyUp
05-21-2008, 10:34 AM
I agree with your point AppleCheeks. It's like setting a goal name sorta :) I do believe that your words reflect greatly on who you are. If you say negative hateful things all the time then obviously you are negative and hateful person. It will only grow and grow and grow. You attract that things into your life. It consumes you. Same with positive and happy words.

With me, I think a sense of humor is a must when you lose weight. If you are focusing on the peice of cake you ate yesterday, you aren't going to be able to focus on that delicious balanced meal in front of you. Yeah, sometimes diet food tastes awful, and sleeping in is more fun that jogging, but...instead of dwelling on the negative...focus on how good you feel when you eat less and move more! How HOT you're going to look when you can fit into that skimpy dress again. And how funny it is when you can't control yourself and you eat your whole dang house out because you had that ONE brownie.

One needs to accept being fat and realize FAT isn't a negative or hateful word. It just describes someone who has too much fat on their bodies. It's an obstical.

kaplods
05-21-2008, 11:01 AM
Personally, I love dark humor, so I tend to think "positivity" is highly over-rated. My husband finds this deeply ironic, because he says I'm the most optimistic, cheerful, even "chipper" person he knows, most of the time. So much so, that when "dark Colleen" comes out, he sort of freaks out.

It's ironic, because while he's got this biker-viking rebel appearance (long hair, goatee when I met him, full beard now), he's one of the most vanilla, even uptight, conservative in so many ways. He likes to "rebel" in completely superficial ways. Me, I dress and act pretty mainstream, but have a more liberal, creative, even twisted inner identity.

I've been obese nearly all of my remembered existence, so in a very real way, I do not have a "thin person" trying to get out. Instead, no matter how thin I become, I will always have the "inner fat person," and that's ok. In fact, I'm sure I'd be a very different person if I had never been fat, or if I'd spent most of my life thin, and I kind of doubt that I would be a better person for it (not that there aren't perfectly wonderful people who happen to be thin and/or beautiful. Still, I think struggles of some type do build strength and depth of character).

I like who I am, and to a large degree even the fat part, even the negative parts. Being fat has taught me wonderful life lessons like empathy, the value of intelligence, hard work, and social skills (since I couldn't rely on "beauty") and that not being "normal," is ok.

For a while, in junior high, I went through an "elephant" phase. I identified with, and admired the huge beasts. Seemingly clumsy, they are actually quite graceful, even nimble for their size. They're intelligent, compassionate, and even beautiful. I wore an ivory elephant necklace, and one day in 6th grade, while we were lining up for something, a boy named Derek was teasing me about my necklace, pulling on it and asking me if it was one of my relatives - and I punched him in the eye and he fell into the garbage can (Yeah, elephant power!).

So, I don't think you can always assume that a name you see as negative, is interpreted the same way by the person who chose it, or that they expect to keep it forever. My dad had tons of nicknames for us as kids, and they changed and morphed over time. I've given at least three nicknames to every pet (or for that matter, boyfriend) I've ever had - some silly some serious. I guess I don't see names as labels as much as social "placeholders," if that makes any sense.

For those that picked a truly hateful name for themselves, or even those who've picked a "nice" or inconspicuous name for a self-harming reason (say WannabeBarbie) I can only hope that here they will learn by example, that they are worthy not only of the respect of others, but of themselves as well.

wifey bullseye
05-21-2008, 11:17 AM
Kaplods - so funny that you went through an elephant phase...I'm still in my Beluga Whale phase!

kaplods
05-21-2008, 11:25 AM
Ah, yes the whale stage, I remember it well. Actually, maybe I'm still in my whale stage as I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the water. When I was a kid, I would pretend to be a dolphin or whale, while swimming (never making, eep, eep sounds, at least not out loud, luckily. Even I have to draw the line of abnormality somewhere).

Lovely
05-21-2008, 11:39 AM
I've been obese nearly all of my remembered existence, so in a very real way, I do not have a "thin person" trying to get out.

:yes: No thin person trying to get out here, either.


- and I punched him in the eye and he fell into the garbage can (Yeah, elephant power!).

:rofl: Elephants don't put up with any crap!

I guess I don't see names as labels as much as social "placeholders," if that makes any sense.

Yes. But, these are self-chosen placeholders. I only think it's different, because these names generally reflect (at least partially) something that someone feels they are, or that they like. But, you're absolutely right that unless we ask, we really don't know the meaning behind the username. And, of course, the way we feel is going to be projected onto the username, and not always the other way around.

(BTW - I actually got a kick out of "FatAss3000"... nearly made me spit my water out... I'm considering asking a mod to change my UN... ;))

The other thing is that often enough I come across a username that is accompanied by a self-hating introduction. It's a natural connection for me to assume the name is also self-hating. So, what I'm feeling out first isn't the name so much as it is the introduction. Random possible example: "I hate this about me, I hate that about me, I'm ugly and I'm gross". (I'm not saying there's something wrong with that, I mean there is... but I mean that's where many journeys have begun so it's not uncommon to read it. And hopefully shortly after people move on from the hate.) I pick all that up, read the name, and if the name is "Ihatemyfatforeverz42" I can't help but transfer what I've read to the username.

PS - Pigs anyone? I think they're so cute! I'm a huge fan! ... oh boy... pun intended?

kaplods
05-21-2008, 12:23 PM
Sometimes, I get so frustrated with the self-hatred posts, I just want to scream, "you're fat, not a syphalitic serial killer! Buck up!"

Maybe a more sympathetic approach would be better, though don't you think.

But seriously, I think that being fat is tough enough without piling self-hatred onto the pile. No use making life any tougher than it has to be. I cringe when I see anyone, but especially someone who has maybe 10 lbs to lose, bemoaning the fact that they "can't" go swimming, because they're sooooo fat they look "disgusting" in a swimsuit. I know I should be more sympathetic, but it actually angers me that someone is jailing themselves that way. Even at 394 lbs, I took the deathmarch to the pool, because I wasn't going to let anyone deprive me of the opportunity to enjoy the water and actually be able to get an aerobic workout comfortably. A big Plbfht to the idiots who stared or whispered. Once in the water, I felt safe and "covered" which was silly, because um, the water is transparent.

Don't get me wrong, I do understand the fear, the feelings of exposure, just not the self-deprivation (I'm too much of a hedonist for that, I suppose).

Lovely
05-21-2008, 12:43 PM
Don't get me wrong, I do understand the fear, the feelings of exposure, just not the self-deprivation (I'm too much of a hedonist for that, I suppose).

Completely agreed! :lol:

Rocker Chick
05-21-2008, 03:57 PM
I am the one JayEll is referring to about the name after the cat--which was BigFatty. I personally don't think it's automatic that we should all think this person has low self-esteem or is down on themselves for a name like that. Who knows their reasons behind it. I thought mine was hilarious, and would not have changed it if I hadn't been asked to for fear of "offending" others. This website is Three FAT Chicks on a diet. I don't care how "positive" this website is, the name is not. I mean really, come on!

denialisnthappiness
05-21-2008, 04:21 PM
I guess some people choose a name to reflect how they currently feel when they join and some people choose how they want to feel/their 'target' type name if you will.

I don't see my name as negative whatsoever - it's empowering to me as it reminds me that yes that chocolate bar may well taste good but will it make me happy long term? no it will not. So whilst day to day it may feel like 'unhappyness' (which it does not but I'm just trying to quantify the reasoning) by not eating x y and z, long term? Long term it does mean a happier me.

Another reason for the name is that I cannot be clearly identified on the net. I have a few tagnames etc most of which are distinctive and have used for a number of years. 3FC is my sanctuary and I want to keep it that way ;)

I did wonder a few months ago whether or not to change my name but decided against it; it signifies how I felt the day I joined and how far I've come.

Nightingale68
05-21-2008, 04:39 PM
I guess some of us choose names that inspire us to be what we wish to become, others (like myself) don't give it much thought... but, interesting discussion. Words can be taken just for what the dictionary says, but it depends on our context, our culture etc. what they mean to each one of us. I, for example, associate "gorda" (fat) with painful memories from childhood and mean kids. But "gordita" is full of loving memories, however for some of you gordita is something in the tacobell menu :rofl:



PS - Pigs anyone? I think they're so cute! I'm a huge fan! ... oh boy... pun intended?

I think they're so cute too. I love them. I even was married to one for a while :rofl:

kaplods
05-21-2008, 05:34 PM
It's funny how even "bad" names can have good associations. I remember in 7th grade some boys (a couple, I liked, one I even had a crush on) took to calling me C.C. Tanker and at first, I hated it. But showing weakness just makes teasing worse, so I laughed with them and then they started using it as a "fun" nickname. Not quite as fun for me, but since they weren't being mean, I just kind of rolled my eyes and bore with it. Then in 8th grade, our school did a play with a chubby character (I was stage director, and didn't try out for a part) named "Bumpers," and then that replaced C.C. Tanker (thank God!) at least it sounded a little feminine, and it was named after a girl, not a semi - funny that I would worry about that. If you're going to give me an insulting nickname, because I'm fat, at least make it a feminine sounding insulting nickname. Geez, I was a weird kid.

Pixiesue
05-21-2008, 05:45 PM
I remember a short play in high school that I read the script for and thought it was funny that one of the thinnest girls in school was playing a part of a chubby character. She tried dressing in loose clothing but that only accentuated how thin she was and to her constantly talking about eating in this play and rubbing her not fat belly just seemed silly to me....no point to this post just an observation of what I considered bad casting.

PhotoChick
05-21-2008, 06:21 PM
I have suggested to people here on 3FC that they consider changing their name - I think only twice and both times the women posting were obviously very very down on themselves and having a very hard time. As I recall one of them reacted very positively to my suggestion and changed her user name from "fatbomb" to something much more upbeat. The other person pretty thanked me for the suggestion, acknolwedged that it was a good idea, and never did anything. :)

As for hte name of the site, I don't find it offensive or bothersome at all, but I must admit that I don't like to keep the site up on my computer screen where others can see it. I tend to scroll down so the 3FC part isn't showing around other people.

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Operator265
05-21-2008, 06:47 PM
but I must admit that I don't like to keep the site up on my computer screen where others can see it.

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A few weeks ago I let some of the guys at work check out my cellphone/computer. It has net service and MicroSoft Office even. For some reason they were looking at my favorites list which only went as far as 3 Fat Chicks(on a diet didn't fit). They somehow thought it was a porn site for guys who liked fat girls.:rolleyes::lol:

2fat2jump
05-21-2008, 07:00 PM
Hmm.. well since I'm one of the newer members of the group with the word "fat" in my UN, I thought I'd speak up. I honestly never even considered that my UN would be offensive to someone. In fact I'm still not even sure if it is or isn't after reading this thread. Anyway...

The reason I chose this UN is because I saw it the day I decided to change my life. I was looking at the postsecret.com website, as I do every Sunday, and one of the secrets was "I have become to fat to jump." At first it made me sad, and I realized that I too had become to fat to jump not only in the literal sense, but in the metaphorical sense too. It had been forever since I was able to jump high into the air like I could when I was a kid. I hadn't even attempted it in so long. I dare not attempt it in my 2nd floor apartment! What would a jumping 300lbs sound like to my neighbor below me? The post secret also hit me in my heart. How many things in my life have I not done because I was too afraid of being judged by my weight? How many chances did I not take? In other words how many moments of my life were lost because I was too fat to jump - too fat to even take the first step.

That is why I chose this UN. It has meant a lot to me. I've even started writing a novel with a fat heroine, a novel I've been wanting to write since high school. And when it's finished, I'm going to call it "Too Fat To Jump." :)

That's my two cents.

lupin
05-21-2008, 07:28 PM
As for hte name of the site, I don't find it offensive or bothersome at all, but I must admit that I don't like to keep the site up on my computer screen where others can see it. I tend to scroll down so the 3FC part isn't showing around other people.

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I have sooo many lessons at college where were sat on the internet and all I want to do is come on here and read a few threads, some motivational stories and see how people are doing but can't because I don't want my whole class to know and read what I'm reading.
However I think once I've lost some weight and half way along my journey I'll be more like I don't mind people knowing cos ha I look good.

2fat2jump I love your story and how your writing a book and gonna name it after it.

2fat2jump
05-21-2008, 10:04 PM
Thanks, lupin. :)