20-Somethings - 20 year something boys...




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ohtempus
05-18-2008, 07:27 PM
Why is it that all the MY AGE boys..

All the 'I'm open to try new things' boys...

The 'OH I LIKE BIG GIRLS' boys...

seem to act younger then they are, don't turn new things, and really don't DATE big girls!!

I'm bigger than all my friends in my little circle and I swear once I get drinks in me I feel like SEXY MAMMA BEYONCE!! lol I feel good about myself even though I can (and AM) shed some pounds. Then why does all the men I talk to don't like me.. (it's not my personality, I'm amazing lol)

I narrowed it down to One thing...my weight. I'm am a curvy girl but I guess the guys all around me don't understand that because all my friends around them are singing along with the count on sesame street (and they really don't get to 18+)!

So I'm losing weight...not for the BOYS (dummies...not all but dummies) but for me and me only. So what if when I drop 50 pounds men will be acting like slaves in a old Britney Spears video, I don't care because I'm ready to walk alll over them.


Does anyone know what I'm saying? Can I get a HALLELUJAH!

<3


chickybird
05-18-2008, 08:41 PM
Hallelujah!!!!

SunshineRunner
05-18-2008, 09:38 PM
ohtempus - what a great attitude - I'm 27 and know how you feel. When I was at my highest (227lbs) I would never get bought drinks - but my friends would - no attention for me other than to get to my friends - now I get ALL of the attention - and I have one of those great personalities too - so you know what I do? I take the drinks, chat them up for a few - and then don't give them my number unless I find them to be truly genuine - which most aren't...at least not at a bar - but hey - we can all have fun and we all aren't meant to be married by the time we are 25 - so go out, have fun, get rid of some of the weight - and Walk Tall! :)


aerogora
05-18-2008, 10:22 PM
a big Hallelujah to that!! I know exactly how you feel!!!

kisskiss
05-18-2008, 11:08 PM
Hallelujah!
Most boys our age are exactly how you describe. Most, but not all ;)

olguitha
05-19-2008, 02:38 AM
Hallelujah!!!!!

denialisnthappiness
05-19-2008, 03:57 AM
argh men... men in their twenties... don't even get me started

freedomreins
05-19-2008, 06:13 AM
Hallelujah!! I totally hear you!

griffogrubb
05-19-2008, 09:15 AM
That's because most guys in their early 20's are complete and utter judgmental a-holes, I'm a 21 year old guy saying that. Not all of em, but most of em. Trust me, I know how much it sucks, only good enough for a "friend." 110 lbs later you're "good looking" and people are all over you. Stay away from the people that act like that, just try and meet someone new. And then you'll lose weight and be sexy as **** and all the guys that were jerks before will come to you and you can be like, sorry honey...I've got a MAN!!!

graciegoose13
05-19-2008, 10:26 AM
you can get as many HALLELUJAH's as you want from right here!

olguitha
05-19-2008, 05:12 PM
only good enough for a "friend." 110 lbs later you're "good looking" and people are all over you.
i'm sorry for saying this, but man you ARE good looking!:o

colaz
05-19-2008, 05:24 PM
Hallelujah! LOL

Great thread!

Yes, I completely hear ya! I'm not exactly at the way other side of the skinny spectrum (tehehe lol), but I really am at a size where when I go out and try to look good I feel good! LOL, before when I went out I never even got first looks. Now though, I'm refusing drinks, turning down dances, and cutting fishing lines (not even kidding...some guy tried to do the whole reeling in with a fishing line thing). Before...even though I think it had to do some with my weigh, for me personally, it was mostly my self-confidence. I've still got a little ways to go, but I am now happy with how I am...even though I wouldn't mind a little improvement.

I was originally 222lbs when I was in high school. During college I was about 160-165lbs. I HEARD that a LOT. Guys don't mind big girls, but when it comes right down to it...MOST boys (and not all...there are some WONDERFUL guys out there...I found mine lol) aren't looking for long-term, but short-term fun. They look for what stands out. What's easy....

I love that you are losing weight for yourself and for no one else. That is when I started making the most progress myself. I will say...in high school some of the 'popular' guys were just horrible to me...or didn't even know I existed. I've got to turn down quite a few of them. They don't even recognize me! LOL... it comes all the way back around lol.

chubbypenguin
05-19-2008, 05:53 PM
In your 20s and 30s it doesnt seem to matter what you got going in your life, or if your intelligent or compassionate or hysterical, it just matters if your rear end fits into a size 2 pair of jeans.

And I really have to say I think that women can be just as rediculous. It doesn't matter if I guy is sweet, if we don't think he is "hot"

BrandNewJen
05-20-2008, 02:03 PM
I hear ya---- that's why when I was in college with all those ridiculous BOYS my own age... I met my future hubby who was 6 years older than I am and much more mature than the guys in my own age group.

yep yep yep---my sister had a bad time in college for the same reason.

Taylor86
05-20-2008, 02:28 PM
Even though my man is 3 years older than me, I still see a difference between 21 and 24. Huge.

KLK
05-20-2008, 02:33 PM
I second this. I had quite a few male friends prior to my weightloss. We were only friends. I liked this one in particular, but of course, since I was so heavy, he didn't give me the time of day. For the first few months of my weightloss, I dreamed about getting to a point where I would be thin enough for him to notice me. Then, after a while, I realized that if he didn't think I was good enough for him at my previous weight, why should my DREAM be to finally 'earn' his attention now?

I eventually met someone new, my fiance, who makes me not even remember that other guy's name...


That's because most guys in their early 20's are complete and utter judgmental a-holes, I'm a 21 year old guy saying that. Not all of em, but most of em. Trust me, I know how much it sucks, only good enough for a "friend." 110 lbs later you're "good looking" and people are all over you. Stay away from the people that act like that, just try and meet someone new. And then you'll lose weight and be sexy as **** and all the guys that were jerks before will come to you and you can be like, sorry honey...I've got a MAN!!!

SavingServo
05-20-2008, 06:44 PM
Ugh. That's all I have to say is ugh. I was dating a guy 5 years my senior for most of this year (and last, and the other day he send me a "I know we can't be together but I just want you to know I love you" text), and even then he acted like a 2 year old sometimes. Not to mention he couldn't keep the :censored: house clean!

At this point I find I'm happier just hooking up with guys and having real fun and meaningful relationships with my friends. I figure I've got about 10-15 more years before I should even consider getting married so I might as well have a good time first.

junebug41
05-20-2008, 07:01 PM
Hallelujah.
You couldn't pay me to go back to being overweight and trying to date in my 20's, especially my early 20's. I know what a lot of people say, "it's all about confidence!" blah blah blah... 20 somethings are shallow and superficial, especially boys. It's all about image and physical attraction.

It's weird, though. A very good friend of mine is GORGEOUS. Like, just voted one of the most beautiful people of a large metropolitan area(seriously), and while guys gawk over her, she hardly ever gets approached. She feels like there is something wrong with her.

Personally, I don't think there are many guys in between who just know how to approach someone without being creepy or obnoxious or they are just too scared to ask. I think it's a 20-something male thing to be completely inept when it comes to the opposite sex.

bsa84
06-07-2008, 12:59 PM
Hey yall, this Samantha, new to the forums.
When it comes to this topic i think it really depends on the race/culture of the guy.
from what i see it seems that most white men have preference for slimmer girls, but when African-American men or my Nigerian men say that they don't mind bigger girls, they TRULY don't mind or sometimes even prefer bigger girls.

librarygirl12
06-10-2008, 07:08 PM
You get a big hallelujah from me. 20ish boys are idiots (for the most part)and don't know what's good for them even if it's smack in their face. Though I will agree with Samantha as my first bf was Guatemalan and he loved that I was curvy (though I think it was more about the boobs than anything). And I do tend to get hit on by more African-Americans or Latino guys than anything else. In the 20-something guy's defense though, my hubby is much younger than me and knows a good thing when he see it, and I know he will stick by me through thick and thin. So it really just depends on the guy.

Mango683
06-11-2008, 09:39 PM
Boys are dumb. Throw rocks at them.

I'm not sure if I'll ever find a decent one..my last two have cheated on me..how's that for ruining trust!

MCheyenne6
06-12-2008, 04:19 PM
Sometimes you'll find it when you least expect. I have always felt like the guys I like NEVER liked me. And the few that did, I always thought something was wrong with them...and I was right!

3 years ago I was the biggest I ever was, 265. I had my tonsils taken out and lost almost 30 pounds in 2 months. I felt so so good about myself and when I ran into an old high school crush who was looking so fine, I could help but run up and say hey. We exchanged numers and have been together ever since. Yes, he is fit and actually has a great body and yes, I sometimes feel like a blob with a great face, but the point is that you may not need to lose weight to find someone please don't think it.

I'm losing weight to be healthy, but if my boyfriend just suddenly wants someone skinny then to **** with him too! See how the skinny *****es treat him!!!

anewme625
06-12-2008, 05:02 PM
I know how you feel

Here we go again
06-12-2008, 06:38 PM
I feel that you got guys that think with the wrong head and guys that don't. My last boyfriend was 40, I know I know... I'm 27, that's a big age difference. In my case there was a reason that he was still single. (he had major problems!)

Anyways, I think if a guy is that shallow in his 20's it may take a while to get over it or maybe never will. He'll get treated bad by someone and eventually grow up or not.

I love the attitude here! Lose weight for you and when you do, they'll come around, you can smile and nod and keep going.... I feel that you have to be happy with you before you can ever be happy with someone else and if it takes someone else to make you happy, that can turn into co-dependency issues, which I think we all can agree is never a good thing. :)