General chatter - Did You Just Call Me Hun....?




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EZMONEY
05-17-2008, 10:55 PM
I was wondering what don't you like to be called and if I offend anyone with what I call you.

This all started a few weeks back when a lady in another thread said she was a little bit offended because she was called "dear" a couple of times that week. I looked back and in a recent post to her I had called her dear...oops! Well, I apologized and she said it wasn't me that offended her....yipee!

I talked this over with Angie and she said she is not offended if an adult male calls her dear...in the above case the persons calling my friend "dear" were much younger. In my family, the adult males have always called women, of all ages, dear.

This conversation brought up the words BABE and HUN...now I call Angie "babe" anytime and anywhere...it doesn't bother her one bit where I say it...but if any other male said it to her...well....:boxing: it wouldn't be a pretty picture :no: Same thing with the word hun, although it is rare I call her that.

Just wondering what are you called at times that bugs you? Do I bug you with what I call you?


CrazedLedZepFan
05-17-2008, 10:58 PM
B!tch is a touchy one for me. :)

I work with older people so I don't mind being called "hun" or "dear."

ladybugnessa
05-17-2008, 11:01 PM
Hun or HON is a baltimore thing... everyone calls everyone HON

i call folks KUMQUAT... andI have NO IDEA why.... everyone just laughs... thankfully...


shelby897
05-17-2008, 11:06 PM
I think any term can be offensive, depending on how it is used (even "hun or dear" :dizzy:).

However, recently my eight year old has referred, jokingly, to me as "the maid" and the other day said, jokingly, "woman" in reference to me as in "woman, it's time to go" -- he was definitely corrected :D

Gary -- if anyone on here is ever offended by something you say to them, they just don't know you well enough -- us "regulars" know you don't have a mean bone in your body -- you may, sometimes, try to act tough (I have yet to see it :D) but are a big teddy bear!!

CountingDown
05-17-2008, 11:09 PM
LOL - I work with people of all ages, so I am called by many, many different names - most are NOT PC. Hun, dear, sweetie, peach - none bother me at all - from either men or women.

Ironically, the only one that irks me is "Ma'am". I don't know why, since it IS socially acceptable, and I AM over 50. But, it bugs the heck outta me.

OH, and Gary - you NEVER offend me, I love your posts :D

StillTryin
05-17-2008, 11:22 PM
I agree, anything CAN be offensive...it depends on WHO says it and the mood I am in when it is said. I mean if people I associate call me anything besides my name it really doesnt bother me...infact I work with all men and half the time one of them is always calling me "Dear". Usually I repspond with something like "just for you sweetheart". However, if someone I dont like or care for, or even barely know calls me "pet" names I sometimes get upset. Not enough to say anything (usually) but it just hits a nerve.....

Gary I think most of us around here know you well enough for the "pet" names.......So I have never been offended by you.... ;)

zenor77
05-17-2008, 11:25 PM
I used to get annoyed by "Ma'am" when I was younger. I hated being called that by sales people when it was obvious that A. I was barely out of my teen years and B. I wasn't married. It doesn't bother me now though. I guess I'm just old fashioned that I think unmarried women are "Miss" and not "Ma'am."

My old roommate was a waitress and she referred to everyone as "Hon." She said it was something she picked up waitressing and that she didn't do that when she was working other types of jobs.

Honestly, I can only think of one term that would tick me off now. I'm not gonna type it out though. Too nasty. Let's just say it begins with a 'C' and rhymes with punt. That would have me on a rampage. It's like the N-word, it shouldn't be in anyone's vocabulary.

I'm pretty laid back. People are always getting my name wrong. I just correct them and get on with life. I'm used to it. :lol:

jtammy
05-17-2008, 11:29 PM
The only word I can think of that might bug me is babe. Not that I hear that a lot or anything, but like you, Gary, that one seems to be reserved for DH. :) I'm really bad about calling people (especially kids whose name I don't know) sweetie or honey. No one has ever complained but I should probably be more careful.

Countingdown, funny that you mention Ma'am. I suppose it is a cultural thing, but my children were brought up to call any adult Ma'am or Sir. Same way I was brought up. I've never really given it much thought, it was just drilled into me to do as a sign of respect and even at age 41, I still say it to people of my parents generation. But when we visit DH's family (in Colorado/Oregon) it always amazes me how much they seem to really dislike being called sir or ma'am. Maybe they think it should be reserved for folks of a certain age? :^:

CountingDown
05-17-2008, 11:38 PM
Countingdown, funny that you mention Ma'am. I suppose it is a cultural thing, but my children were brought up to call any adult Ma'am or Sir. Same way I was brought up. I've never really given it much thought, it was just drilled into me to do as a sign of respect and even at age 41, I still say it to people of my parents generation. But when we visit DH's family (in Colorado/Oregon) it always amazes me how much they seem to really dislike being called sir or ma'am. Maybe they think it should be reserved for folks of a certain age? :^:

:yes: I was raised in the north, and my parents moved to TN 25 years ago. My nieces and nephews have been raised to use Ma'am and Sir. My brother was in the military, and so he is pretty insistent about it. I have learned to tolerate it when I travel south, but up here in northern MI - I still bristle when someone uses the term.

EZMONEY
05-17-2008, 11:38 PM
I am never offended when someone calls me sir. I actually do call a lot of younger women....girls...little boys (as in toddlers) sweetie...my own daughter has always been sweetie pie to me....so far no one has ever told me they were offended by that term.

EZMONEY
05-17-2008, 11:46 PM
Since knucklehead nephew is NAVY bound and hasn't crossed the equator yet, he is now polliwog around here....that is if he isn't in trouble...if he is I call him something else....wink!

DCchick
05-17-2008, 11:59 PM
i can't stand it when people call me ma'am. unless the person is very very southern. but even then, it still kind of bothers me if they are older than me (I'm 26). I've gotten more used to it, but it still really annoys me.

Operator265
05-18-2008, 12:21 AM
Not really a certain age, but culture. My mom was raised in the south and ANYONE that was not familiar to you was called Ma'am or Sir, younger or older, but especially older. I was raised in WY, with the "I'm not that old" attitude. I still raised my daughters to understand that nobody was to young to be treated with respect. After all the mass shootings since the early 80's, I decided that if they learned to respect people, hopefully, they would learn to respect their lives. A waitress in TX told one of my very young DDs that she wasn't old enough to be a Ma'am and my mom came undone. The poor girl was informed that undermining her DDs authority over her children was far more disrespectful. Only time I've ever seen Mom not leave a tip or that openly irate.

As far as how someone refers to me, it's mostly a matter of familiarity. I was also a waitress before I went into construction/mining. If I can't recall a name at the moment or over the radio I tend to revert to Hon, Sweetie and such with my peers. I go to Sir/Ma'am with my bosses.

Me personally, because of the way females are treated(especially in UT and WY), i HATE being called "Girl". Just see the reaction of the guys being called "boy". I pay a mortgage, taxes, bills and all the other things that MEN do, I should be seen and referred to as an ADULT. I'm not out here doing this job to add to my allowance you know. It's not pin money. I support my home and family with my job just like the guys. But, I'm still able to judge the situation and the people involved.

Because my name is Lea, I get called Princess alot(from Star Wars). It's OK unless you are treating me like a princess on the job site. I have always worked as hard and often harder than the men around me and don't appreciate the ussumption that I need special treatment. Never asked for it, don't expect it.

Sorry to go on, but this is a sore spot for me. The women in my family have been been breaking into men's jobs for the last 4 generations. My great-grandma renovated houses, my mom was a postmaster(she was nobody's mistress) and I'm an equipment operator. Some real jerks called Mom a "Quota B***h to her face. Even today, I'm dealing with ridiculous BS that should have been put down 50 years ago. I try not to be sensitive about it, but I'm only human.

Apple Cheeks
05-18-2008, 12:51 AM
As Goldie Hawn said in Private Benjamin: "Don't call me stupid."

Don't call me ******ed, dumb, ignorant, etc. It is really the one thing that will tick me off faster than anything else, even if it's being said jokingly. I will become rather unpleasant to anyone who flips that particular b*tch switch!

I know I'm super sensitive to that because I had an emotionally abusive father who would call me stupid when I was growing up. (He's an alcoholic) So of course it's a big sore spot for me to this day. :mad:

Operator265
05-18-2008, 12:55 AM
Oh, Wow, AppleCheeks, I definately understand that one. A boss I really liked called me a Stupid B***h once, in jest. I told him, very seriously, that I could be a real B***h, but don't ever call me stupid.

PhotoChick
05-18-2008, 01:45 AM
I know I'm super sensitive to that because I had an emotionally abusive father who would call me stupid when I was growing up. (He's an alcoholic) So of course it's a big sore spot for me to this day. Are you my long-lost sister? Same here - and "stupid" is a huge button for me. Call me stupid and I'll walk away from you - even if it's in jest.

My family is southern, so Sir and Ma'am are natural to me. I never understood why people get so offended by it .. even if they don't necessarily *like* it, it's not like someone using it is trying to be offensive. They're trying to be respectful. But then again, I don't understand why some people get offended at lots of things.

ONe I never thought I'd like is "baby" ... I swore that I'd never let a boyfriend call me baby. But the guy I'm seeing now calls me that and it melts me every time. I think it's all in how it's said. :)

.

Lovely
05-18-2008, 02:29 AM
It's more how & who than it is what.

I've been called tons of things, and rarely does a word offend me. It's tone that really makes a difference.

I think being called "hun, babe, sweetie, dear, darling, angel, sugar, ma'am, miss" and all of those types are neutral, and usually, to me, endearing. Heck, I use "hun" occassionally myself.

Obviously, calling someone a word that is meant to offend (even when in a joking manner) would be entirely different. (Such as the "stupid" example.)

Shopaholic1204
05-18-2008, 03:47 AM
I hate being called Ma'am!! I'm 23 years old, I'm too young to be called ma'am. But when I shop on base, they always call me ma'am. Even if I bumped into a sailor, thats what they call me. Ughh...Dh says its the polite thing to say..but I cannot stand it!!

I dont mind being called hun..just as long as its not said in a sarcastic way. Dear is what me & dh say to each other when we're being sarcastic. LoL!!! I prefer being called chick or chica. All my girly friends are my chicks or chicas. Always have been, always will. We've been calling each other that for as long as I can remember.

When I was little..my mom used to call me cookie and baby, lol. Dh calls me Babe or Sweet Pea.

Shopaholic1204
05-18-2008, 03:47 AM
Since knucklehead nephew is NAVY bound and hasn't crossed the equator yet, he is now polliwog around here....that is if he isn't in trouble...if he is I call him something else....wink!

HA Dh is a shellback!!! lol

net knee
05-18-2008, 05:28 AM
:o I tend to call people silly... I don't mean it in a rude way but oh my if I have EVER offended anyone on this forum I am sincerely SORRY! I say "oh dear" a lot in speech but I'm not sure about on here but I don't mean it towards the person. I use it as a phrase, I try to replace holy s**t with oh dear... or whatever...
I can usually take any word thrown at me unless someone's trying to put me down or pick a fight or unless I really don't like that person, then I tend to snap. I will definitely snap if someone throws the C word at me! Call me what you want but throw the C word at me and I'm probably going to try to throw a punch back at you! For some reason it just flips a switch in me that makes me crazy and enraged!!
Other than that-- don't usually get offended at pet names, unless an inmate uses them toward me at work...:mad: that's just plain disrespectful, it's CO, Officer, or one of those with my last name attached. Even my last name will work but NO PET NAMES or anyother name in that case...

SunshineRunner
05-18-2008, 09:06 AM
Below is a blog I wrote on this subject a few months ago...

Hun. Honey. Sweetie. Yup...unless you are my mother or grandmother(who are all dead) then you do not have the right to call me this. Most definitely not if you are a stranger. I get this way too often and in my opinion, referring to another person who is not family or friend as any of the above is rude and uncalled for. I know the person doing this does not know this...or else they wouldn't.

Example - tonight, I rent a movie @ Blockbuster. I am checked out by a girl who is probably close to 10 years younger than me. She says as I am leaving, "The movies are due back on Wednesday, hun." Argh! I should have corrected her. Not only is this something that gives me chills, but after speaking to quite a few of my friends over the years...I'm not the only one this annoys. Referring to me as hun promotes that we have some sort of relationship (we don't and at this rate won't!) and I truly believe that word and those similar should be reserved to very few people in your life.

I know, this probably sounds trivial. However, there are some people who say "hun", "honey", & "sweetie" to every consumer that walks in their path. I find that the people who use these terms the most are cashiers (I don't make the rules, just an observation).

Bottom line...I'm not sleeping with you and you aren't my mom...don't give me a pet name.

SunshineRunner
05-18-2008, 09:08 AM
Oh...and when people call me Ma'am - I just retort "How old do you think I look?" or "I'm not THAT old!!!"

Shopaholic1204
05-18-2008, 09:14 AM
Oh ya..I really hate being called Fran!! My name is Frances..you may call me Frances, Francie, or Franny. Never ever Fran. This chick on Myspace always calls me Fran, even after I've asked her to stop about a million times. I think she just does it to bug me.

WebRover
05-18-2008, 09:34 AM
I used to have a thing with "girl", but now I don't mind being called one of the girls BY one of the girls. I do prefer Diva. :D

I've gotten used to hon, dear, sweetie, etc. It's a southern thing and it's not personal. Our hairdresser calls my teenaged daughter (and I think all other girl kids) Sweetpea, which is kind of cute.

I've gotten used to ma'am. It did used to stop me in my tracks when I was in my twenties. It still bothers me a little when a co-worker less than 10 years younger than me and in a similar job calls me ma'am, as in "Yes, ma'am". I've even talked to her about it. It's just so ingrained in her southern upbringing, she can't stop even when she tries, so I just work on getting used to it.

I DO NOT like it when someone who I do not know and who only has the benefit of my name due to a personal business situation uses my NAME. I know this is usually company policy when it is happening. When my name is being picked off a credit card or membership card, especially when I do not have the benefit of the other person's name, do not use it. I don't make an issue out of it however. The person doing it usually doesn't have a choice. And I haven't worked myself up into enough of a lather to bother writing a letter to any companies with the policy. (Or even to remember which companies do it.)

I do not like "chick". It implies empty-headed fluff, like stupid only worse. I accept it on this site, however. ;)

While labels are important, there are more important things to be concerned about than hun or ma'am, especially when there's nothing personal about it.

Pixiesue
05-18-2008, 10:11 AM
I work as a cashier and am frequently refered too by customers as "hon", or "dear", It doesn't bother me. I tend to call my co workers "dear" or "dearheart"
donno why, I just do, no one has complained. I think I'm getting to that "age"

EZMONEY
05-18-2008, 10:18 AM
Oh ya..I really hate being called Fran!! My name is Frances..you may call me Frances, Francie, or Franny. Never ever Fran. This chick on Myspace always calls me Fran, even after I've asked her to stop about a million times. I think she just does it to bug me.

Francie I can see why people might call you Fran for obvious reasons...but once you correct them they sure should stop!

HA Dh is a shellback!!! lol

:) CONGRATULATIONS to him! My God-daughter was on the Boxer, her dad, my best friend, and my son's best friend were both on the Nimitz. :carrot:

EZMONEY
05-18-2008, 10:28 AM
What about botching up your real name? My given name is Gerald....pronounced with a hard G as in Garold. I was born a twin, we were premature and he passed away shortly after birth, anyway I was name Gerald with the same middle name as my dad. He was named Jerald with the same middle name as my mom. We were to be Gary and Jerry. Now people forever, for obvious reasons have called me Jerry, if they see my real name, before I tell them I am Gary. Or they call me "J"~erald....I don't bother correcting them anymore unless our business will be for an extended time.

Now my daughter Amanda...doesn't like to be "Mandy", just Amanda ~ my niece Amanda, on the other hand, prefers Mandy.

WebRover
05-18-2008, 11:19 AM
Or as a co-worker used to say
"You can call me Herb or you can call me Turd, but you don't get to call me Herbie."

StillTryin
05-18-2008, 11:23 AM
Yeah...my kids when they were toddlers were all:
rug bugs
funny bunnies
sweethearts..
now two are older and they are just called by their names, or sometimes shortened names

I still have one toddler...and for the longest time when she was first born the only thing I could call her was schtinky...lol I still do it occasionally but I try not to being she is older and I dont want her to have a complex about stinking..lol
I call her BOOPS too, but I am trying to find a better "pet" name for her. She has a formal name and it is kinda long, so we are trying to find an acceptable (long term) nickname for her. My oldest daughter calls the youngest "L.Z." Her name is Elizabeth...my son just calls her by name....
We dont want to use:
Lizzy
Beth
Betsy
Liz
Lizza
So I dont know what we are going to do....

OH, DH HATES when I call him "baby"

Operator265
05-18-2008, 11:27 AM
OMG, I could write a book.:D My first name is Lea(Lee ah) not Lay ya. People have always messed it up and it didn't really bother me until I married a man with a last name that is also used to denote a part of a woman's anatomy.:s: The first time I heard someone say my 1st(mispronounced) and last name together, I damned near fell over. Then just to really rub myself, I go into construction. HOLY MOLY!!! Do these guys honestly think I haven't heard them ALL before. I just take it with a grain of salt and not let it get to me or they would never let up.

As far as mispronouncing my name goes, I know they are spelled differently(especially my married name) so it doesn't really bother me in general, but if I work with someone it does seem to be rather rude to have to correct someone over and over. It shows a lack of concern on their part to not at least try to get it right. I carpool with a guy whose name is Jerone(jer on) but everyone calls him (Jer own) or even (Jer rome). He's just given up.

Operator265
05-18-2008, 11:35 AM
Oh yeah. My kid's nicknames were ScooterPoot and BoogerButt. They think I'm a terrible mom.

junebug41
05-18-2008, 11:48 AM
Everytime I walk in to the bridal shop where my dress is, I'm under seige with "hons" from the 19 year old, blonde, snarky associates.

It's all in the tone. And if you are 19, tan and blonde (no offense to tan and blonde people) and wearing any form of glitter, do not ever call me hon.

TJFitnessDiva
05-18-2008, 12:08 PM
I don't really get offended by anything anyone can call me (even b*tch)......life is too short to take things like that to heart.

If you are a girl/woman I call you chickie and if you are a guy I usually say "dude!"...lol

Slashnl
05-18-2008, 12:45 PM
Gary, if you ever stop referring to us "Rockies Babes" in the baseball thread, I WILL BE OFFENDED!!! ;)

Shopaholic1204
05-18-2008, 01:50 PM
:) CONGRATULATIONS to him! My God-daughter was on the Boxer, her dad, my best friend, and my son's best friend were both on the Nimitz. :carrot:

Ahh..the Nimitz should be coming home soon. Dh is on the Stennis..he's crossed the equator twice already. :D He got his sparrows after the first deployment though.

Shopaholic1204
05-18-2008, 01:55 PM
On the subject of messed up names...My maiden name is Rivera. And the way its actually pronouced is Rivera But of course, people dont say it that way, lol. And my married name is so cute and pretty, people mess it up ALL the time. Its Olea..but they say Olee, Ole (lol). Its pronounced Olaya.

Glory87
05-18-2008, 02:08 PM
Heh, all of you anti "ma'am-ers" must not be from the south - ma'am as a courtesy was DRILLED into me by my parents. I still do it (much more frequently when I go home to Texas to visit). From a southerner's perspective, it is not always just a nod to age (although it CAN be - you would ALWAYS ma'am/sir someone elderly), it's mainly a sign of courtesy. A southerner would use it to a checkout person or a waitress or a teacher as a sign of courteous respect. It is definitely not meant to be a "wow, you're OLD," more like a "I appreciate your assistance."

Just remember - if the person has a southern accent, it's likely they simply can not help themselves and definitely are trying to be POLITE. Also, military folk (as mentioned above) will use it like breathing, it really WAS drilled into them, they aren't trying to be rude, they are trying to be unfailingly polite.

tamaralynn
05-18-2008, 02:11 PM
Mam... Makes me feel old :lol:

KateRN
05-18-2008, 02:11 PM
i'm very guilty of the "hun", "hunny", or "dear" at work. i often times forget my patient's names, and it just turns into that. only 1 or 2 people ever said they didnt like it, and i hardly even notice that i do it. i try to pay attention to it, but every now and then - it goes right back.

Glory87
05-18-2008, 02:13 PM
I still have one toddler...and for the longest time when she was first born the only thing I could call her was schtinky...lol I still do it occasionally but I try not to being she is older and I dont want her to have a complex about stinking..lol
I call her BOOPS too, but I am trying to find a better "pet" name for her. She has a formal name and it is kinda long, so we are trying to find an acceptable (long term) nickname for her. My oldest daughter calls the youngest "L.Z." Her name is Elizabeth...my son just calls her by name....
We dont want to use:
Lizzy
Beth
Betsy
Liz
Lizza


Lilbit as a pet name, what about Bess as a nickname? I always loved Bess.

jtammy
05-18-2008, 03:06 PM
Heh, all of you anti "ma'am-ers" must not be from the south - ma'am as a courtesy was DRILLED into me by my parents. I still do it (much more frequently when I go home to Texas to visit). From a southerner's perspective, it is not always just a nod to age (although it CAN be - you would ALWAYS ma'am/sir someone elderly), it's mainly a sign of courtesy. A southerner would use it to a checkout person or a waitress or a teacher as a sign of courteous respect. It is definitely not meant to be a "wow, you're OLD," more like a "I appreciate your assistance."

Just remember - if the person has a southern accent, it's likely they simply can not help themselves and definitely are trying to be POLITE. Also, military folk (as mentioned above) will use it like breathing, it really WAS drilled into them, they aren't trying to be rude, they are trying to be unfailingly polite.


Hear hear!! If you don't ma'am/sir your elders around here, it's a sure sign that you never "had any raising". Why it would be offensive to anyone is something I truly don't understand. :?: I will continue to say it and will continue to press my children to say it, if they forget. They are 16 and 14 and it would be rare that they would be speaking to anyone close to my age or older without saying it.

As Glory says it is used with others, those closer to our own age, as a courtesy. I can't think of any circumstance where anyone I know would say it to others here to be snarky or rude. If you want to be considered snarky or rude, then DON'T say it. That will do the trick. ;)

EZMONEY
05-18-2008, 04:26 PM
My step-d is LARA...like do re mi fa so la...you know...Dr. Zhivago...well it has been pronounced LAR~A as in Larry...Laura...both ways for obvious reasons.

My son Ryan has been called Brian many times for again, obvious reasons.

net knee
05-18-2008, 04:50 PM
It's all in the tone. And if you are 19, tan and blonde (no offense to tan and blonde people) and wearing any form of glitter, do not ever call me hon.

:DThis made me smile! The glitter part is priceless! If I don't know a persons name or need to address a stranger, men are Sir and women are Miss/Ms. I find Miss/Ms. less offensive b/c I don't know the womans age and oh boy if I say Ma'am I've been d*mn near killed with looks! I've been heard saying "hey guy" to get someones attention, like if they left groceries behind or dropped something... It just gets them to look/stop quicker. Never been told it offended them...

At work, I call inmates "Mr. *last name*" or "Mrs/Ms./Miss *last name*" sometimes by the last name only and if transmitting over the radio I use "inmate *last name*" to follow "policy" :rolleyes:

KLK
05-18-2008, 04:53 PM
Imo, it all depends on who the person is and in what context I'm being called dear. If an older person (i.e. a person of my parents' age or older) calls me honey or dear, I tend to like it and I think they just mean it in a friendly way parental way. If a man around my own age calls me honey... it can either be flattering or gross, depending on who this person is and how I think they're saying it. But if it's not overtly sexual and inappropriate, I usually don't get upset.

But if a woman of around my own age calls me honey or dear... well, in my experience, I have never been called "dear" or such by a girl of my own age without it being LADEN with condescenion and ridiculous female competitiveness. There this one girl, of exaclty my age, that I have had the extreme misfortune to have worked with in the past in a limited way (i.e. she would come to my office on occasion). I don't like her, she, I'm pretty sure, looks down on me for not being the 25lb clothes-obsessed fashion plate she is (and everyone knows you're only a REAL woman if all you know/think about all day is fashion :rolleyes:). So she starts with "honey, can you get me this?" or "Thanks, dear" and "Thank you, sweetie" accompanied by some stupid insincere smile. It makes me wanna punch her. If I were having a problem, and she was comforting me, or if we were friends or even liked each other at all, I'd feel totally different, but I just see it as her way of belittling me. I'm not her equal, I'm a "dear" and a "sweetie" (i.e. a child). She's an a$$.

Edit: I forgot to mention that everytime she calls me sweetie or honey, she says it in the same tone one would use to coo to a new puppy or an infant. What an a$$hole!

But on a forum where everyone is there to support one another, I wouldn't get offended if someone called me 'dear' or whatever.

Lovely
05-18-2008, 05:20 PM
Hear hear!! If you don't ma'am/sir your elders around here, it's a sure sign that you never "had any raising". Why it would be offensive to anyone is something I truly don't understand. :?: I will continue to say it and will continue to press my children to say it, if they forget. They are 16 and 14 and it would be rare that they would be speaking to anyone close to my age or older without saying it.

As Glory says it is used with others, those closer to our own age, as a courtesy. I can't think of any circumstance where anyone I know would say it to others here to be snarky or rude. If you want to be considered snarky or rude, then DON'T say it. That will do the trick. ;)

Nothin' rude about "ma'am". I see it the same way. Just a respectful way of talking to someone (and I'm born & raised CT).

I've been called ma'am before, usually by sales people who don't have the pleasure of knowing my name, and at first I was like "wha?" more in a "are they talking to me?" sort of way. But then I realized that if I'm over 18, I'm old enough to be a ma'am. Really, if I'm not okay with being called Ma'am now, then how old am I going to be when I feel it is "okay"?

What was always drilled into our heads was the Mr/Mrs LastName. I would never dare call anyone who was my mother's friend by their FirstName. Just disrespectful.

I remember one situation... I had a friend who lived with her grandmother. She was practically my grandmother we had known eachother so long. She was always "Mrs." always. A neighbor boy moved in who was only a year older than my friend & I. One day he refers to the Mrs. as "Virginia" (her first name) I practically fainted. I can't put it into words... it just felt so dirty & taboo. :shrug:

FrouFrou
05-18-2008, 05:25 PM
There's a few, lol. Honey, ugh! Sweetie, hun, sweetie pie, ma'am any of those I really dislike especially by strangers. As well as dear...I use dear when being sarcastic with the hubby or anyone. I really despise when people try to shorten my name, kids names etc. I go by Cristina and don't want to be called Cris. My chiro called me that one time and not thinking I did but apparently I shot him a look like don't you ever call me that...that is not my name. He never did, lol.

Shy Moment
05-18-2008, 05:32 PM
EZ
You may call me any old thing you like as long as it isn't " to late for mountain dew time " lol. I consider the people I chat with on this site my friends. Doesn't bother me what pet name they might use. The hubby knows to NEVER call me WOMAN oh that is just a fighting word lol. I really dislike it when someone I do not know calls me something like sweetie or hun ( such as waitresses ). We were at a restaurant one time and the waitress called my husband sweetie. I asked her if she knew my husband much better than I thought she did. My children's friends call me Mrs B. Children do not call adults by their first name, that is how I was raised. I still call older people Mr or Mrs unless they are very close family friends. My children call adults Mr or Mrs or Miss.

EZMONEY
05-18-2008, 06:58 PM
Well me and my kids are from the south...southern California ;) I was taught and I taught to call adults Mr. or Mrs. ......unless they gave you the OK to call them by their first name.

Most of my kids friends over the years called me Mr. M....., I would tell them they could call me Gary if they wished...most did...some have always stuck with Mr. M.....

Angie and I both have been called DUDE by a couple of the kids that have hung out here over the years...knucklehead (polliwog) included...we just go with the flow...kids are kids and they never meant it as disrespect.

Around my house I am called ~ Babe (Angie) Gary (step-d) Daddy (daughter) Pops (son) Uncle Gary, Uncle G and Dude (polliwog)

Angie is called ~ Babe (me) mom (her daughter) Angela ( my son) Angie ( my daughter), Dude and Double AA...for Aunt Angie (Polliwog) Ma (myself and my son) and The Ang...by all of us (her ex calls her that..."is The Ang home?"....we kid her about it...my truck license plate reads FORDANG....for the Ang ...for d Ang....;)

The kids are called ~ Ryan...Ry-Ry....son...dude ~ Amanda....Sweetie Pie....Panda Bear ~ Lara.....la-la....lollipop....squirt ~ Ron........Ronny....knucklehead....polliwog....... ...by various family members.

We all take on a lot of names for the hats we wear don't we!

After all I am a man ~ son ~ brother ~ father ~ husband ~ uncle ~ friend...

Anyway....as Diane said....some get offended if I don't call them BABE!......right ROCKIE and RED SOX and CARDINAL BABES?....not to be confused with my GATORGALS! ;)

shelby897
05-18-2008, 07:29 PM
At least the people at Gary's house have names -- I've gone from "Susan" to "Dave's wife" to "Christopher/Nicholas' mom" whenever their friends talk to me. You know what, it's all the same, no matter what I'm called it is usually in reference to something I need to do, forgot to do or don't want to do!!! :D

But, I can still remember as a kid my uncle calling my sister "angel angela" and me "boy named sue" (I wasn't a big johnny cash fan at 6 years old) so I found that kind of offensive!!

EZMONEY
05-18-2008, 08:07 PM
........ You know what, it's all the same, no matter what I'm called it is usually in reference to something I need to do, forgot to do or don't want to do!!! :D

Too funny SHELBY!

But, I can still remember as a kid my uncle calling my sister "angel angela" and me "boy named sue" (I wasn't a big johnny cash fan at 6 years old) so I found that kind of offensive!!

OH MY :o...sounds like an "Uncle Gary"...I might know....(smacks head)

so if it's Susan...how do you get Shelby?

shelby897
05-18-2008, 08:28 PM
Shelby was actually a cat I got when I was 18 -- who traveled/moved with me for 10 years and finally was put to sleep when my oldest was 2 -- she was an awesome barn cat but also makes it very easy for me to remember all my log-ins everywhere!! (And, I loved the name which would have been my daughter -- had I ever had one!!). And, the "897" is my anniversary -- August 1997.

Optical Goddess
05-18-2008, 08:32 PM
I can't stand being called "babe". For some reason it reeks of disrespect for me, like a ditz or whatever. Ma'am ing doesn't really bother me, especially being that not a lot of people know the 'Miss, Ms. Ma'am' difference.
Hon and dear don't bother me, usually it's older people saying that. Could be called worse.

I call people "dude" almost involuntarily. I call my friends 'dude' or 'lady'

I call my husband 'thing' or 'thing-a-majig', He usually calls me "meh".

Mom2QJandT
05-18-2008, 09:13 PM
I had a supervisor once that called us "kids" - - that drove me nuts. Other than that I'm not easily offended.

I call my kids by so many nicknames that you can easily be at our house all day and not really be sure what their names are. I have Quentin Zachary who can be Q, Qman, Q-ball, QZ, Q-dude, or (my favorite) oldest kid. I have Julia Nicole who is J, J-bird, Jules, Ju Ju Bee, Ju-boom-a-foo, Julesey, JJ, Ju-nic, Juli-boo, or the girl. Finally, I have Travis Riley who can be T, Tman, Trib, Tribby, Triblet, or shortest kid. (I put in their middle names so that the nicknames made more sense) When I'm calling all of them at once I just yell Q! J! T! Pronto!

BF calls me baby, very rarely does he call me by name unless he's trying to get my attention. Then he usually calls me by both my first and middle name. We call each other "dear" as a code for "you're starting to get on my nerves".

I work with the elderly, so I get called sweetie, honey, and dear all the time and I'm very likely to call people hon or dear as well. One thing I do is I tell my kids that they don't call adults by their first names, but by Mr. and Miss and then the first name if it is someone that we know well. My friends are Miss Jenn, Miss Angel, so on and so forth. It's a nice middle ground for my friends that feel that Mr. or Mrs. are too formal.

WebRover
05-18-2008, 09:22 PM
Oh yeah. And I hate it when men refer to their wives as "the wife". The wife? Whose wife? Like there's one and only one.

I grew up with friends of my parents whose last name no one tried to get us to pronounce - they were Mr. Tony and Mrs. Betty. Between daycare friends and Girl Scouts I got very used to being Mrs. (firstname) or Miss (firstname). I much prefer it to Kidsname's Mom.

junebug41
05-18-2008, 11:03 PM
One day he refers to the Mrs. as "Virginia" (her first name) I practically fainted. I can't put it into words... it just felt so dirty & taboo. :shrug:

:lol: Sort of like when you heard a teacher called by their first name.

Lovely
05-19-2008, 12:11 AM
:lol: Sort of like when you heard a teacher called by their first name.

Yes! :lol:

EZMONEY
05-19-2008, 12:31 AM
Mom2QJandT ~ Ha! that reminds me of when my son was growing up...to his friends he was R-Dog or Mille...like they coundn't even add the last letter in his last name!

WebRover ~humm...now I always ask the "woman" how her 'ol man is doing if he isn't with her...never ever do I say 'ol or old lady!

THE Heather
05-19-2008, 12:42 AM
As far as "cute little pet names" go, when my "elders" call me any of those, sweeties, huns, etc I don't really mind.

But I hatehatehatehatehate it when someone my age does it to me. (I'm only 20).

mandalinn82
05-19-2008, 12:59 AM
I try to take things as they're meant, which means that you can call me most things in a nice way and I won't be offended, but you can call me most things in a nasty way and I'll be irritated.

Example - sweetie from my grandfather is great...and sweet! Sweetie from a skeeve at a bar while he puts his hand on my knee...gross. Sweetie from a condescending saleswoman at a high-end clothing store...irritating.

In an online context, I tend to get irritated when people call me things in quotes. Like, Amanda is "nice". Ugh. This convention of putting things in quotes should never have started. It makes me batty (even MORE when people do it with their fingers in the air...)

PrettyPaula
05-19-2008, 10:33 AM
i call everyone lovey.... i think its a local thing to where i live.

i hate being called Darlin' by smarmy men at work... makes my skin crawl.

and i hate being called Mate by blokes as well... its offensive as i am clearly not male so why use a male word with me?

Hat Trick
05-19-2008, 11:46 AM
The first time anyone ever called me 'ma'am' I was 26 years old, checking out in the grocery store. The 'kid' who was ringing me up was only 5 or 6 years younger than me. 'Ma'am'????? I was so shocked! I looked him straight in the eye and said 'don't call me ma'am' - lol. Time travel twenty years down the road and of course, I get called ma'am all the time. When I do - and it's mostly by people who work at stores and such -- I just look at them, laugh while shaking my head and say 'ma'am'. If they're really young I just say, with a wink, 'you're turn will come'.

You know, as long as you don't call me late for dinner there's just not much anyone can call me that will really bug me. But if it does, you can be sure I will pipe up and let them know about it! :D

Gary -- you are a good, kind man. You wink, wink, nudge, nudge with the best of them. No offense taken from this chickie!! :)

EZMONEY
05-19-2008, 08:54 PM
Angie and I don't have pet names for each other but if we are sending each other a text or an e-mail, they are usually a bit on the racy side, we sign them STALKER and STALKEE!

shelby897
05-19-2008, 10:44 PM
I think "ma'am" is okay -- besides, people do need to get our attention when we are shopping, etc. short of yelling "hey you" they have to call you something :D

The worst was when I was "too thin" (imagine that :D) about 18 and looked like a high school tomboy, left the house on a Sunday in sweats and no makeup/short hair and the clerk at the grocery store called me "sir"!!

cephalopod gal
05-20-2008, 01:39 AM
At work, I usually just call people "Ma'am" or "Sir." I wouldn't know what else to call them!! As for my coworkers, everything's on a first-name basis. I don't even think I know anybody's last name.

When I'm pretty comfortable with people, I usually call them "Babycakes." I don't even remember how it started, but it just kind of stuck. I hope I haven't offended anyone with it! Haha.

As for names that people call me, I only like it when my boyfriend calls me "Sweetie." Anyone else calls me that and I'm like "Uhh buddy you're overstepping some boundaries there." I also hate it when people mispronounce my name. Elisa: "Ehl-ee-SAH" That is the correct way. Haha. I get "Ehl-EYE-zuh" "Uh-lyss-uh" "Ehl-suh" Blahhh I don't like it. :(
I also have some friends that like to call me "Frodo" because I keep my hair short and if I just let it air-dry, it does look very much like Hobbit hair. Hahaha. I'm sure if I put some sort of product in it and let it air-dry, I'd get some different results, but I always blow-dry it and style it to be safe. :)
I have one friend who likes to call me "Elisajah." And another one who calls me "Squid." :)

Oh, and I must agree with those who sid that "Woman" was out of the question. I think that is absolutely disrespectful and I hate hate HATE it. I will call anyone (even strangers) out on it. If anyone calls me "woman" or "mujer" (woman in Spanish) oooo they better watch out.

I forgot what else I was going to type. Lol. :)

ShannanA
05-20-2008, 01:44 AM
Terms of endearment don't bother me, I think they are sweet.

I'm not old enough to be a ma'am and I correct anyone who calls me it LOL

cephalopod gal
05-20-2008, 02:05 AM
I remembered what else I was going to type!!

Haha, it has to do with how I addressed my teachers in high school. I was really close with my band directors and I would call them so many things...
Roland Sandoval was: Sandoval, Sandy, Roland, Rolando (hardly ever "Mr." unless he was angry)
Wesley Perkins was: Perkins, Perky, Wes, "Anyone named Wes is worth it!" (Inside joke there, none of this student-teacher impropriety)
George Garza was: Garza, George... mostly Garza though.
If I wasn't as close with them, I probably wouldn't have been so adventurous, and I can see how it would be considered disrespectful, but they were cool with it, and in front of other faculty members I addressed them as "sir" or "Mr. ________"

I was also close with my English teacher Mr. Davern. I would call him "Davern" or "The Dav." We used to have a joke where instead of "Dangit!" (or other, similar exclamations ;)) we would say "Davit!!" Kind of silly, but he was super cool. He was my real-life version of Mr. Keating from Dead Poets Society, and if I had seen that movie while I was in his class I probably would have called him "O Captain, My Captain" as well. :)

xGurlyGrlx
05-20-2008, 03:27 AM
I don't get offended easily. It is all in the tone for sure. The only thing I don't like to be called...like some others here...is Hun and Ma'am. I am definitely not old enough to be ma'am and I can't stand being called Hun by some girl the same age or younger than me. I think calling someone Hun who is older or about the same age is disrespectful if you don't know her personally. I had a friend that called everyone hun. I didn't mind her doing it because we had a relationship. Some random girl from the streets....not so much! I also don't particularly like being called a B***h. Call me one and you will see one for sure. :D

Gary - I haven't had the pleasure of posting in the same spots as you and in turn, have not received a pet name to be offended by. I am starting to think I need one... ;)

branflake
06-09-2008, 02:59 AM
Ma'am. As crazy as that probably sounds as it is seen as "respect". It just makes me want to hurl something at the person saying it. I'm in my 20's please don't make me feel older.

MaNdA22
06-09-2008, 10:46 AM
I know it's going to sound silly...But a woman I work with I can't stand it when she calls me 'SWEETIE'. Just her though. Anyone else is ok I guess. But she says it in a way that makes me feel like she is talking down to me....if that makes sense.

mrsaugie
06-09-2008, 09:15 PM
i hate being called cute or cutie mainly because i feel like i should always be in a dress or something really girly and frilly that is not really me at all

as far as nicknames for kids go our son who is 4 is known as munchkin man.

happy2bme
06-10-2008, 02:36 PM
Hated m'am at first - then moved to the south and got used to it as it is a sign of respect. Actually the proper term for someone younger would be Miss (not missy) - but people don't like that either.

I agree with Gator and Junebug - when someone is wayyyyyy younger than me and they use the term hun in a gum snapping, snarky tone, I hate it. But it doesn't do any good to say anything to them.

My first preference is to be called by my name, other than that no name, a smile and just a polite demeanor suits me just fine.