General chatter - how do i...




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KateRN
05-17-2008, 04:29 PM
break up with someone who lives with me and is dependent on me??

he lives with me, rent free, he can barely afford gas to get to work most days, but he is a jerk to me!

if we werent living together - i could just break up with him, but i'm at a total loss as to how to do it now that he lives with me. he isnt going to just come up with money to support himself but i can barely stand another minute!

ideas?? how did you break up with someone who lived with you??


SavingServo
05-17-2008, 04:36 PM
Maybe you can arrange to stay a friend's for few days to give him a chance to move out?

And remember sometimes you just have to let the baby bird splat on the sidewalk. It's not your job to take care of him and it's not your fault he's failing at being an adult and taking care of himself.

SoulBliss
05-17-2008, 04:41 PM
You tell him that if he does not leave peacefully you have a restraining order lined up to file.

Seriously, I mean, he existed somewhere, somehow, before you hooked up and he certainly can find someone else to sponge off of again when you finally give him the boot. He's a big boy. He can make it on his own. You aren't responsible for him, but you ARE are responsible for YOU and so if you aren't getting what you need out of the exchange, MOVE ON and get him to MOVE OUT, the sooner the better!


Pixiesue
05-17-2008, 05:16 PM
yes, just be severe and put him out, if he doesn't move oput within a prescribed time say a week or two, then put his stuff out on the street and change the locks

JayEll
05-17-2008, 05:41 PM
Sit him down and tell him in a kind way that it isn't working out for him to live in your apartment, so he has two weeks to find a new place to live. No discussion, no arguments, no promises on his part. Just tell him you've made up your mind, and he has two weeks. If he persists in wanting to discuss it, leave the apartment for an appointment or whatever. Do not discuss the situation, but keep reminding him of the deadline.

I wouldn't just leave to stay with a friend, though, if you have anything valuable in your apartment. Change the locks while he's at work the next day if the issue is whether you want him under the same roof right now.

In fact, change the locks after the time is up whether he has left peacefully or not. Sometimes your landlord will help with the cost of this, but if your friend was living there in violation of your rental agreement, you might want to just say that you think someone has a key who shouldn't. In any case, change the locks.

If he has a job, he can support himself. If his job doesn't pay him enough, he can find another one. I have been on this planet for a long time now, and it never ceases to amaze me that women somehow think men who act helpless really are helpless. He's sucking you dry while calling you a stupid b**** behind your back--or maybe not even behind your back? :mad:

Next time, don't let the boyfriend move in. You need someone who can be responsible, not a big baby.

Jay