20-Somethings - Afraid to meet the Parents because I'm Fat!
05-10-2008, 09:23 PM
I feel really silly right now because I am REALLY nervous about meeting my girlfriend's mother this Monday (It's GF's Honor Society Induction). I am nervous for alot of reasons but one of the reason's I am most anxious is because I am overweight. It's really ridiclous but I think that will make my girlfriend's mom think I am not good enough for her. There is no objective reason to think that. We have similar backgrounds. I know I am as bright as she is, and more importantly we treat each other very well and love each other very much. I am a good person but I can't help but think she'll think of me because I am not as think or attractive as GF is. It's absurd. But I can;t help it.
Anyone else face a similar situation?
05-10-2008, 09:37 PM
Honestly, my opinion is if your girlfriend loves and appreciates you, then that is all that should matter. On top of that, it would be REALLY shallow of her parents to not like you for something like your physical appearance. They are not in an intimate relationship with you, therefore your physical attractiveness should not affect them one bit. On top of that, they should be able to appreciate that your girlfriend loves you, and they should only be evaluating you on whether you make her happy or not, and not on your weight or physical appearance. That is just my opinion
05-10-2008, 09:44 PM
ahh this is such a sad situation. I would love to tell you that no one is embarassed by whom their child brings home but it isnt true. I know from experience. I was dating this great guy for over a year and had never met his parents. Now i know why. As soon as i met them they literally called me trailer trash because of my weight. They said I looked like a hillbilly because of it. Never mind that I am a college graduate and have a great career as a nurse. But, none the less I got over it, dumped him because It would be hard living with a person like that, even though he might not have said it the thoughts in my head were like, well they will just make him leave me anyway. Now, i am married for one year to the love of my life. He has a GREAT family! They love me for me and are so encouraging of my weight loss. So take it in stride my friend. Your grilfriend seems great, so maybe she came from great panrets too! If not, and it bothers you, speak to her about it. I'm sure you guys could work something out. I'll be praying for you!
Good luck and best wishes,
05-10-2008, 10:16 PM
That sucks, at the time I met my boyfriend's family, I was a vegetarian, and his family was Italian! I am sure many comments were said - but not to be directly! His mother came up to me after we were dating for a few months and said, 'you make him really happy - and that makes me happy' That is all I needed from her, knowing - weather she likes me a lot (I know she does) that she was happy to see him happy, I will never forget that day.
As for advise, dress well - your very best! and have a great attitude! Put your best foot forward the whole time, and they are bound to love you.
05-11-2008, 11:03 AM
that feeling is terrible, i don't want to meet the inlaws for the same reason, i'm scared, they are all so skinny and healthy people, and i... welll i'm not.
i keep saying to myself that when i get skinnier, i'll be confident enough to meet them, but that's not gettin any easyer, even if i keep the weight down.
05-11-2008, 11:34 AM
I remember meeting my fiance's mother and thinking about the same thing. She was actually very sweet. Even if she did think I was fat (I was upwards of 280/290 at the time) she certainly didn't say anything.
I believe that MOST parents want to see their child happy with their SO. And to make sure the SO isn't abusive, or rude. They just want to get to know you. :)
Be your wonderful self, and have a good time!
05-11-2008, 11:58 AM
i met my boyfriends mum when i was as overweight as i have been....
she dint seem to bothered in all honesty....
kids happiness comes first right....
05-11-2008, 01:04 PM
I was scared to death to meet my fiance's family. His mom and sister are overweight though, so that made me hope they wouldn't judge me too much. His whole family has been nothing but accepting and supportive.
I have not met his dad and stepmom though, even after 3 years of being together. I'm scared of that because of my weight - males intimidate me.
05-11-2008, 02:07 PM
I had a hard time with this as well. When I met my boyfriend's parents I was around 185, and while they were perfectly accepting while I was there, I later learned that I didn't meet his father's standards for who his son should be dating. Apparently, 5'10", 110 lbs, blond and blue eyed or go home.
He has since realized how happy I make my bf regardless of my weight, and has started to change his opinion. But in order to come to terms with that I just realized that when it comes down to it, our happiness is all that matters, and I don't need his blessing for that.