Weight Loss Support - come and see my previous sexy photos:(

Hi ..

i hope u r all fine ..


Im Cindy 23 years old ..



Well I dont know how to start .

i'll breifly say it in 1 word


DEPPRESSED :(


im so depressed


i was shocked when i saw this photo from last year i couldnt stop crying:(


http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/919/medm2.jpg


http://img368.imageshack.us/img368/341/mesalidaschoolyp8.jpg


i was 125 lbs

and used to do belly dancing alot ..

i love it..

and ate healthy food



but now ................................



im 195 lbs :(


i dont have time to do workouts

im busy all day so i keep eating junk food and snacks no time for healthy meals



i need to loose 70 lbs


i dont know how to start

and dont know what to do for daily workouts


i thought of doing a surgery

but they told me that 70 lbs is nothing and could be lost in 2 months


but i dont know how to lose them in 2 months i want it fast :(


I always feel shy to go to anywhere

i keep sitting in the house or just work and work all day on my desk studying or navigating online

maybe most of u will say that its not that much weight


but for me it is :(

i alwayes felt that glamore lady that attract all eyes


and now .. i dont want any eye to even catch my shadow passing by :(



i was dumped by my fiance .. its a long story but .. 1 of the reasons is my BODY ( after thinking i get this conclusion by myself)

if i was pretty like before then he wouldnt have to look at other girls :(


i need my self confidence back


and i need to lose weight and get back my old body and beauty


it is a re-action for my relation .. but maybe it was the only good thing

that i was shocked

and start thinking positive this time

i need to look at myself and start working on my body to be fit and sexy again


is there anyone who could help me ?:(



Thanx for ur time
Sad Cindy :(

Hi! A few things to tell you:
1) you need a hug!
2) Who told you you could lose 70 pounds in 2 months?!?! That is very unrealistic, not to mention dangerous.
3) Are you losing the weight because you want to, or because you think it'll make your fiance come back? Because I'll tell you right now, any man that would dump his fiance because she gained some weight, is a BIG STUPID LOSER!!!! You poor thing! I know I'm ranting, but it makes me so mad to see a young, beautiful person so unhappy because of some idiot man.
Whew, now that that is off my chest...
There's some great weightloss plans out there. Spend some time lurking in the different forums, like South Beach, Weight Watchers (my fave), Atkins, calorie counters.... See which plan would fit your lifestyle.
As for exercise....maybe just start with walking. I have a pedometer, and I try to hit 10,000 steps a day. I now park farther away in parking lots, walk more during the day... You can also check out some of the exercise forums too.
One last thought...You didn't gain all this weight in one day. It took time to gain it, and it'll take time to lose it. Be patient, and try to lose the weight in a healthy way. There's no point in losing the weight quickly in a dangerous way, if you end up gaining it all back. You're welcome to private message me, if you're looking for a diet buddy. Just click on my name and hit "send private message".
Good luck!

Hey cindy, :wel3fc:

I agree with chickybird! You can lose the weight but it will take time. None of this 70 pounds gone in 2 months--never happen. But don't be discouraged! You can succeed! If you check out the Goals and Mini-Goals forums, you'll see that many 3FC members have lost that much weight and more, and feel better about themselves.

You may not be able to send private messages until you have 30 posts, though! Just to let you know.

You say you don't have time to eat right. Well, many of us found that we had to find the time and not take the easy, junk food way out. We had to change what we ate and how we ate. You can do it, too. Take baby steps at first. Remember that everything you put in your mouth is a choice you have made. Maybe you'll want to skip french fries--or get a salad instead of a burger--or decide not to eat pizza but instead get soup and half a sandwich. Just little changes like that can get you headed in the right direction.

Be sure you check out all the forums... you're sure to meet some friends...

Good luck! We want you to succeed!
Jay

Cindy,

What the others have said ... welcome and hugs for you. You'll find lots of supportive people here.

Now for the hard news. You're not going to lose 70 lbs in 2 months. It just isn't going to happen. I lost 70 lbs and it took me nearly a year. A lot of people have done it a little faster, but not in 2 months.

Also, being thin isn't going to get your fiance back. I suspect there's more than just your weight that led him to break up with you (and that's not a reflection on you at all ... but on relationships in general and maybe a little on him). If it really was your weight, then he's not worth having anyway.

My former husband met me and married me when I was 60 lbs overweight. My current boyfriend met me and fell in love with me when I weighed 237 lbs - more than 100 lbs over what I should weigh. If someone really loves you, then your weight isn't a factor.

What you need to do first is really think about your schedule and how you can fit exercise and proper eating into it. I won't lie to you ... you MUST have time to plan and you must make time to exercise. You can do it if you really are motivated.

But I know you can do this. I know it. I own two businesses, plus do contracting work on the side. I travel for my job, I work weekends and evenings, and I often put in more than 70 hours a week. And I still MAKE time to exercise and plan my meals. If I can do it, anyone can.

.

I agree 100% with everything that all the others have already said. I understand completely how you said a year ago you felt like a glamour girl and now you feel rough. I feel the same way. I don't like for people to see me either. As for losing 70 in 2months...wow if you find out how lemme know. I don't think it would be a healthy way at all. I think slower weight loss would be better and easier to maintain and help you to always feel glamorous.
Good luck. I am here if you would ever like to chat!

Hi Cindy,

I started my weight loss because of something someone said to me. They said, "You used to be so tiny in high school." Well, with my 10-year reunion coming up this June, I decided to drop my last 25 pounds of baby weight. You know what, my reasons may not have been honorable, but it got my butt moving. I have lost 13 pounds of my 25. I have less than half left. I follow weight watchers very strict. Easy compared to Atkins, which I always struggled with. I think there is a some pathology behind weight gains, but once you get started, you will feel so empowered. I weight 168 pounds right now, but I feel the same way I did when I weight 138 pounds, because I am doing something about. When I started at 182, I felt the same way you do. It is amazing how exercise and the right diet help you get over heartbreak.

I hate looking at old pictures because it makes me more depressed too. It should make me motivated to get there again but it doesnt. When my husband and i meant I weighed 125-130 I now weigh 100lbs more and it doesnt even bother him. I think that too I have to lose weight so some skinny chick doesnt catch his eye. But you know he loves me for more than the way I look. He doesnt make comments about my weight. If I ever say anything about it or something he is very supportive and loving. Once in a while he asks what he can do to help or do I have a plan. I had girls watch tapes of me doing dramas a few years ago and they are like you were so skinny back then. so yeah its like slapping me in the face and saying YOUR FAT NOW!!! But this is the best place for you to be and have support!!!! Good Luck!!!! You can do anything you put your mind to!!

Cindy,

First off...Welcome! And *hugs*...it sounds like you desperately need one. :(

I feel for you, because I was in a similar situation. Through high school and into my first year or so of college, I was also on the smaller side. Then because of school and boy problems, I ate horribly and racked on the pounds. I didn't realize how much I had gained (it's hard to notice yourself gaining weight, since you see yourself everyday), until one day I was looking through pictures and saw what I USE to look like! I remember thinking "Oh my goodness, I forgot that those pants use to be HUGE on me...but now I can barely button them!" And from that moment on, I got even MORE depressed...and therefore ate horribly...and gained MORE weight. It was just a downward cycle. Luckily though, I realized I deserved to wake up everyday and feel good about myself. I deserved to look at myself in the mirror and not point out all my flaws. I deserved to feel sexier. I deserved to treat myself better by feeding myself better. I deserved to not be depressed and be happy with myself. So I made a change, and I went on South Beach Diet. And that worked wonders for me. And now I feel a lot better. Not just because I lost weight, but because I'm treating myself and my body with a lot more respect than I use to before.

I hope your reason for wanting to change your lifestyle and eating habits is for yourself, and for no one else. You deserve to enjoy your life and your body, and no one else should be influencing you to do anything that would make you think or do otherwise. Also, I hope you don't feel like you don't belong here because "70 pounds isn't much to lose". 1 pound is a lot to lose if that 1 pound is 1 pound you're uncomfortable with!

I'm not trying to preach South Beach to you, and by no means am I saying what I did was right and what you're doing is wrong. I just want to let you know, there are people out there who can empathize with you, and we're here. And we're willing to listen. And we'll be here for you through this whole ordeal. You can come to us when you're sad from a bad day, or when you need to go shopping for a smaller pair of jeans! We can be a great resource, and you should come to us for anything and everything. And I hope you do!

Hi Cindy, good foor and exercise is the only healthy way to loose it im afraid....
im reching terretory no i dont ever remember being in before!....
it will take time and hard work, but if your determined enuf you will get there....

Hi Cindy.

I know this is easier said than done....but do not let your weight gain determine your self worth. I know it's soooo easy to let it get to you, but in the end overcoming this will be a victorious battle that will make you stronger.

Have faith in yourself as a person and choose something that you know you can stick with. Don't be unrealistic with your goals and keep your head up high. You can do this.

First of all let me say that if he left you because you gained weight, then he didn't deserve you to begin with! Ladies, please let us all embrace this wonderful woman with our love and support. Honey you can lose weight, and we can all help you stay motivated. How about getting yourself back on that healthy food diet you were once on as a belly dancer and join a gym for good exercise? You can do it!! We are here for you! *hugs*

Hi! A few things to tell you:
1) you need a hug!
2) Who told you you could lose 70 pounds in 2 months?!?! That is very unrealistic, not to mention dangerous.
3) Are you losing the weight because you want to, or because you think it'll make your fiance come back? Because I'll tell you right now, any man that would dump his fiance because she gained some weight, is a BIG STUPID LOSER!!!! You poor thing! I know I'm ranting, but it makes me so mad to see a young, beautiful person so unhappy because of some idiot man.
Whew, now that that is off my chest...
There's some great weightloss plans out there. Spend some time lurking in the different forums, like South Beach, Weight Watchers (my fave), Atkins, calorie counters.... See which plan would fit your lifestyle.
As for exercise....maybe just start with walking. I have a pedometer, and I try to hit 10,000 steps a day. I now park farther away in parking lots, walk more during the day... You can also check out some of the exercise forums too.
One last thought...You didn't gain all this weight in one day. It took time to gain it, and it'll take time to lose it. Be patient, and try to lose the weight in a healthy way. There's no point in losing the weight quickly in a dangerous way, if you end up gaining it all back. You're welcome to private message me, if you're looking for a diet buddy. Just click on my name and hit "send private message".
Good luck!

thats realy so kind of u

i cant find the words to thank u ..

regarding ur questions

i want to loose weight because i want to get back my beauty and want show everyone specialy my ex-fiance that i'm fine without him and i over come this problem although the trueth is not


the reason is not exactly because i gaind weight .. but this is what i thought of ..

there r other reasons .. that he cheated on me .. and told me that an angel cant live with a devil :(

and then i started to think why did he cheated on me .. its because i was over weight


thats why i told u i was dumped because of my weight :(

i have to find a way to get over this problem .. so that i can work on my body and loose weight and gain good health instead of gaining pounds


thanx again .. i apreciate ur kindness :)

Hey cindy, :wel3fc:

I agree with chickybird! You can lose the weight but it will take time. None of this 70 pounds gone in 2 months--never happen. But don't be discouraged! You can succeed! If you check out the Goals and Mini-Goals forums, you'll see that many 3FC members have lost that much weight and more, and feel better about themselves.

You may not be able to send private messages until you have 30 posts, though! Just to let you know.

You say you don't have time to eat right. Well, many of us found that we had to find the time and not take the easy, junk food way out. We had to change what we ate and how we ate. You can do it, too. Take baby steps at first. Remember that everything you put in your mouth is a choice you have made. Maybe you'll want to skip french fries--or get a salad instead of a burger--or decide not to eat pizza but instead get soup and half a sandwich. Just little changes like that can get you headed in the right direction.

Be sure you check out all the forums... you're sure to meet some friends...

Good luck! We want you to succeed!
Jay


thanx for ur tips .. and for the note regarding the pm

i will do what u advice me

u r all so kind to me

thanx alot

i will do my best

Cindy,

What the others have said ... welcome and hugs for you. You'll find lots of supportive people here.

Now for the hard news. You're not going to lose 70 lbs in 2 months. It just isn't going to happen. I lost 70 lbs and it took me nearly a year. A lot of people have done it a little faster, but not in 2 months.

Also, being thin isn't going to get your fiance back. I suspect there's more than just your weight that led him to break up with you (and that's not a reflection on you at all ... but on relationships in general and maybe a little on him). If it really was your weight, then he's not worth having anyway.

My former husband met me and married me when I was 60 lbs overweight. My current boyfriend met me and fell in love with me when I weighed 237 lbs - more than 100 lbs over what I should weigh. If someone really loves you, then your weight isn't a factor.

What you need to do first is really think about your schedule and how you can fit exercise and proper eating into it. I won't lie to you ... you MUST have time to plan and you must make time to exercise. You can do it if you really are motivated.

But I know you can do this. I know it. I own two businesses, plus do contracting work on the side. I travel for my job, I work weekends and evenings, and I often put in more than 70 hours a week. And I still MAKE time to exercise and plan my meals. If I can do it, anyone can.

.


what could let him cheat on me other than my weight ? :(

i was so caring and treated him respectly and kindly

i know that he doesnt feel good from the inside and that his heart is hurting him because he cheated on me .. thats why he told me an angel cant live with a devil ..

he is blaming himself .. and im blaming myself because if i was pretty enough for him then he wouldnt look to another girl:(


everyone told me that he dont deserve me .. but i love him .. thats why i dont know what to do .. love is sometimes blind



regarding my weight .. i will search for a healthy diet and i'll try to find some time for walking

i need to get my body and health back

thanx for ur support and helpful tips

i apreciate it :)

I agree 100% with everything that all the others have already said. I understand completely how you said a year ago you felt like a glamour girl and now you feel rough. I feel the same way. I don't like for people to see me either. As for losing 70 in 2months...wow if you find out how lemme know. I don't think it would be a healthy way at all. I think slower weight loss would be better and easier to maintain and help you to always feel glamorous.
Good luck. I am here if you would ever like to chat!

thanx for wishing me good luck

and thanx for offering ur support

im happy that i found this forum

u r all supporters and so kind to me

Hi Cindy,

I started my weight loss because of something someone said to me. They said, "You used to be so tiny in high school." Well, with my 10-year reunion coming up this June, I decided to drop my last 25 pounds of baby weight. You know what, my reasons may not have been honorable, but it got my butt moving. I have lost 13 pounds of my 25. I have less than half left. I follow weight watchers very strict. Easy compared to Atkins, which I always struggled with. I think there is a some pathology behind weight gains, but once you get started, you will feel so empowered. I weight 168 pounds right now, but I feel the same way I did when I weight 138 pounds, because I am doing something about. When I started at 182, I felt the same way you do. It is amazing how exercise and the right diet help you get over heartbreak.



thats realy gr8 feeling to see all ur extra pounds vanishing again :)


i wish i could feel that soon

im not patient anymore

but i will listen to all of u and follow ur advices

i respect what u said

and i'll do my best to loose weight

I hate looking at old pictures because it makes me more depressed too. It should make me motivated to get there again but it doesnt. When my husband and i meant I weighed 125-130 I now weigh 100lbs more and it doesnt even bother him. I think that too I have to lose weight so some skinny chick doesnt catch his eye. But you know he loves me for more than the way I look. He doesnt make comments about my weight. If I ever say anything about it or something he is very supportive and loving. Once in a while he asks what he can do to help or do I have a plan. I had girls watch tapes of me doing dramas a few years ago and they are like you were so skinny back then. so yeah its like slapping me in the face and saying YOUR FAT NOW!!! But this is the best place for you to be and have support!!!! Good Luck!!!! You can do anything you put your mind to!!



i agree with u .. everyone can do anything they put in their mind

but im depressed thats why i thank God that i found this forum ..

sometimes words could change a whole person

and u r all pushing me up with the lovely and supportive words

that realy means a lot to me

thanx

Sweetie I really think you need to go see a counselor. You are so wrapped up in how much it's about looks it makes me sad.

Do you really believe that the only reason he cheated on you is because you gained weight? Seriously? Is that what you believe love is about? That if you look pretty enough someone will love you? It's not. Llove isn't about looks or weight or what is external.

Your posts make me ache for you. Life is about so much more that what you are on the outside. What you are on the inside is so much more important.

.

Cindy,

First off...Welcome! And *hugs*...it sounds like you desperately need one. :(

I feel for you, because I was in a similar situation. Through high school and into my first year or so of college, I was also on the smaller side. Then because of school and boy problems, I ate horribly and racked on the pounds. I didn't realize how much I had gained (it's hard to notice yourself gaining weight, since you see yourself everyday), until one day I was looking through pictures and saw what I USE to look like! I remember thinking "Oh my goodness, I forgot that those pants use to be HUGE on me...but now I can barely button them!" And from that moment on, I got even MORE depressed...and therefore ate horribly...and gained MORE weight. It was just a downward cycle. Luckily though, I realized I deserved to wake up everyday and feel good about myself. I deserved to look at myself in the mirror and not point out all my flaws. I deserved to feel sexier. I deserved to treat myself better by feeding myself better. I deserved to not be depressed and be happy with myself. So I made a change, and I went on South Beach Diet. And that worked wonders for me. And now I feel a lot better. Not just because I lost weight, but because I'm treating myself and my body with a lot more respect than I use to before.

I hope your reason for wanting to change your lifestyle and eating habits is for yourself, and for no one else. You deserve to enjoy your life and your body, and no one else should be influencing you to do anything that would make you think or do otherwise. Also, I hope you don't feel like you don't belong here because "70 pounds isn't much to lose". 1 pound is a lot to lose if that 1 pound is 1 pound you're uncomfortable with!

I'm not trying to preach South Beach to you, and by no means am I saying what I did was right and what you're doing is wrong. I just want to let you know, there are people out there who can empathize with you, and we're here. And we're willing to listen. And we'll be here for you through this whole ordeal. You can come to us when you're sad from a bad day, or when you need to go shopping for a smaller pair of jeans! We can be a great resource, and you should come to us for anything and everything. And I hope you do!



thanx alot for all what u've said

u r words realy mean something to me

i felt that the world is still fine

its hard when we r shocked and in a bad situation and we see that life is so hard .. we find good people that offers their help and try to help us out of our problems and push us forward to meet our goals


i wish i knew this forum from before

but thanx God i found it now :)

thanx for everything

Hi Cindy, good foor and exercise is the only healthy way to loose it im afraid....
im reching terretory no i dont ever remember being in before!....
it will take time and hard work, but if your determined enuf you will get there....



i promise to re-organize my schedual and do workouts and find a good diet for me


thanx for ur motivation:)

I agree with photochick. Also, you did NOT make your ex cheat on you! Did you hold a gun to his head and say, "go have sex with someone else"? NO! You did not! Don't feel responsible for his stupidity.
Let's pretend your weightloss did make him cheat on you (which it didn't!). What would he do if you were pregnant and heavy because of the pregnancy? He'd still cheat on you!
I think you are a lovely girl, and I hope you realize that looks don't make a person better or worse. You'll be fine, just take everything we say with a grain of salt. I know we're all throwing a lot of pep talk at you!
Hugs,
chickybird

Hi Cindy.

I know this is easier said than done....but do not let your weight gain determine your self worth. I know it's soooo easy to let it get to you, but in the end overcoming this will be a victorious battle that will make you stronger.

Have faith in yourself as a person and choose something that you know you can stick with. Don't be unrealistic with your goals and keep your head up high. You can do this.

i used to believe that judging a person always depends on his personality and the way he thinks and tearts people

but after my shock i think that something happened to me .. i never thought that i will one day feel that i am nothing in the world

i forgot about everything good about me .. and just start to think about my body and my over weight and pounds


all ur words helped me get a knock in the head and start to think positive this time

i realy need to change

and i believe its time to think wisely regarding diets and workouts

thanx:)

First of all let me say that if he left you because you gained weight, then he didn't deserve you to begin with! Ladies, please let us all embrace this wonderful woman with our love and support. Honey you can lose weight, and we can all help you stay motivated. How about getting yourself back on that healthy food diet you were once on as a belly dancer and join a gym for good exercise? You can do it!! We are here for you! *hugs*


ooh thats so nice of u ... thanx for ur motivation ..

i promise to do my best

and promise to get back to my hobby bellydancing

i'll stick into a good healthy diet

i need my good health and body back


thanx alot i have no doubt about all what u have said


thanx alot

Sweetie I really think you need to go see a counselor. You are so wrapped up in how much it's about looks it makes me sad.

Do you really believe that the only reason he cheated on you is because you gained weight? Seriously? Is that what you believe love is about? That if you look pretty enough someone will love you? It's not. Llove isn't about looks or weight or what is external.

Your posts make me ache for you. Life is about so much more that what you are on the outside. What you are on the inside is so much more important.

.

i tried to see a counselor

but i kept crying all the time that i was saying my story

so i didnt contact him again ..


i dont know what to say :)

i dont like to let some1 sad because of my story

i came here searching for help for loosing my weight

and i found myself talking about something so emotional to me ..

and what made me talk is ur kindness and extra caring

i know that apearance is not everything

but all guys care about apearance

even if they say they dont ..

this is something natural


i dont care about the way he look

but i still love him


and what is so disapointing that i cant control my feelings ..

I agree with photochick. Also, you did NOT make your ex cheat on you! Did you hold a gun to his head and say, "go have sex with someone else"? NO! You did not! Don't feel responsible for his stupidity.
Let's pretend your weightloss did make him cheat on you (which it didn't!). What would he do if you were pregnant and heavy because of the pregnancy? He'd still cheat on you!
I think you are a lovely girl, and I hope you realize that looks don't make a person better or worse. You'll be fine, just take everything we say with a grain of salt. I know we're all throwing a lot of pep talk at you!
Hugs,
chickybird


i respect what u say

and i accept anything u will say or said :)

maybe because u r not seeing the problem the way i see it

because im thinking with my heart not brain

thats why i know im wrong

i dont know why i keep comming out with excuses for him

and he hurt me


the only 1 good thing that he did is that he let me decide to loose weight and found all of u friendly kind people here:)

It's ok to cry. It really is. It's especially ok to cry in front of a counselor - they're used to it. :)

And I'm sure you still love him. It's hard to end a relationship and harder when you've been cheated on. I've been there. I know. It's one of the most painful things in the world ever. And you *should* cry. You should grieve for a lost relationship and a lost love. It's important to do that and it's healthy!!

Don't beat yourself up for grieving or for still loving him. All of that is ok.

Seriously, I think you should try talking to a counselor again. If you're not comfortable with the one you talked to in the past, try calling another one until you find someone you're comfortable with.

And if you want to talk about it here, then you should. Maybe just letting it all out to us would help - since we're not right there face-to-face with you.

Hang in there. Keep posting here. Keep talking. And I promise it will get better. It really will.

.

It's ok to cry. It really is. It's especially ok to cry in front of a counselor - they're used to it. :)

And I'm sure you still love him. It's hard to end a relationship and harder when you've been cheated on. I've been there. I know. It's one of the most painful things in the world ever. And you *should* cry. You should grieve for a lost relationship and a lost love. It's important to do that and it's healthy!!

Don't beat yourself up for grieving or for still loving him. All of that is ok.

Seriously, I think you should try talking to a counselor again. If you're not comfortable with the one you talked to in the past, try calling another one until you find someone you're comfortable with.

And if you want to talk about it here, then you should. Maybe just letting it all out to us would help - since we're not right there face-to-face with you.

Hang in there. Keep posting here. Keep talking. And I promise it will get better. It really will.

.


maybe its a matter of time ..


but i hope it wont be as long as our relation was 8 years ..



regarding a counselor .. i dont know were to find a good trusted one

the previous was ok .. but i dont think that i'll call him back because i told him i'll meet him and then canceled the apointment ..


i will try to amuse myself by taking care about my body walking bellydancing and finding good diet :)

and chatting with all of u kind friends :)


God has big mercy and will help me out of this ..

im sure :)

I just wanted to say "welcome".

You've really gotten some great, caring advice already. And I agree wholeheartedly with it.

Do something good for just yourself. Enjoy that walking and belly dancing. Have a sensual bowl of fruit on a lovely spring afternoon. Something good for your body and your mind.

Take care of yourself. :hug:

Keep posting :)

I just wanted to say "welcome".

You've really gotten some great, caring advice already. And I agree wholeheartedly with it.

Do something good for just yourself. Enjoy that walking and belly dancing. Have a sensual bowl of fruit on a lovely spring afternoon. Something good for your body and your mind.

Take care of yourself. :hug:

Keep posting :)



thanx alot :)

sure i'll take all ur advices in mind

and i'll do what is good for me :)