20-Somethings - bf help




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Happy Penguin
05-04-2008, 12:11 AM
so lately ive been kind of *****y and emotional. i take it out on the wrong ppl. lately its lots of snapping at my bf we been fighting alllllllllllllll week non stop i think in total it was 4hrs of no fighing in the whole week. today i sent him a cute mesage on myspace saying how much i loved him n i gave him a "promise ring" it was a picture of a ring pop he read it n didnt say anything bout it and it hurt me hes like what do u wnt me to say u know i love you so i started crying because its like it would be nice to get a response with it we got over it then i got mad cause he was going to leave work n go to a car thing with the boys i hate this particular car thing he wont get home till4am n i wait up. i hate when he races it makes me super nervous and we are talking n he starts saying omg look n i knew their was a beautiful car next to him n i asked him please dont n he did while i was on the phone i was so mad n he goes ill call u later the boys just got to my house n im like are u really calling me back n he goes eventually i got mad told him to **** off n clicked n started kryign ten min later i was like im sorry be safe please wear ur seatbelt call me wen ur home i love u n it just sucks i dont want my emotions to ruin my relationship.

i want to do something that i can show him im sorry n love him. im the one who pays for everythig when we go out cause he's broke i even paid for BOTH OF OUR DINNERS ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! it pissed me off so much
2morrow we are going to the beach during the day i had told him at night i wnt to do movies n dinner he like ok n now which makes things worse is that were going to beach with my aunt n cousin so bikini im ok with but then he tells me we are meeting up with his friends from car club so im paranoid about bikini what do i do


zenor77
05-04-2008, 06:40 AM
First of all breathe!

Second of all, do you know when you started being more emotional? Do you think it has to do with weight loss or maybe your bcp? I know I had major mood swings when I started losing weight because my fat intake was too low. Taking fish oil really helped me with that. I've also had major mood swings due to bcp. I'm progesterone sensitive and have to take estrogen only pills. Seriously, if I'm on a pill with progesterone in it I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster and I might commit homicide at any moment.

You have lost 15 lbs! Yay! That is so awesome! You are a beautiful woman, I say wear your bikini and be proud. Don't worry about what his friends think! Bring a cover up with you if you want, but honestly (from my personal experience) guys don't usually sit there and judge their friend's gf body.

I'm not sure what kind of car thing your bf goes to. I can see your concern if it's drag racing since that isn't legal in most places, but you can't control your bf. Tell him to wear his seat belt and try to get some sleep. My DH's little brother races and it concerns the whole family, but there is nothing we can do to stop him, so... we just hope for the best.

I'd also suggest you stop paying for both of you. Go dutch certainly, but if he can't afford to go out then maybe you should just hang out at home or at a friends house. Trust me, that is a cycle you do not want to start! If you always pay for stuff now, you always will (unless he has a history of paying in the past and this is just a recent thing.)

Have fun at the beach tomorrow! I hope things start working out better for you guys!

jillybean720
05-04-2008, 06:59 AM
I won't ge toto into it because I know it's not what you want to hear, but from the sounds of it, this is not a healthy relationship, and it has NOTHING to do with you being emotional.


bukirouge
05-04-2008, 10:42 AM
From your account I'd say you are being a little too emotional, I know because I do the same thing to my boyfriend, he is always kind and supportive, even when we're fighting, and even when I am being the most neurotic, crabby and frankly downright evil individual I can be (Well for the most part he's a saint through this.) I would say Jillybean is mostly dead on, you being a little more sensitive is probably adding stress for both parties and if he can't sympathize, help, and support you, drop him, and "stop wasting the pretty!"

denialisnthappiness
05-04-2008, 05:38 PM
all of that ^^^ doesn't sound like you're very happy :( Surely the point of being with someone is to be happy with them

freeqeegrl
05-04-2008, 06:15 PM
girl. . . god have i been there. . . . for three years. . . but there are two things to this , his racing and him being poor. . . . first. Racing is his thing. . .you cant fall for someone who has a hobby and then make them feel guilty its just not fair to him. so . . . some tough love, hun you got to not say a word , you have to learn to support him . . . i love dangerous things and my ex wouldnt let me do anything i wanted because he was scared i'd get hurt and i just ended up hating and resenting him for not letting me be myself . if you love him you have to stand by him . . .he should feel like out of everybody even his boys you care more about his racing. . .you should be his number one fan. . .with that said , that dope needs to get some dough :) dont pay for things. . .he'll get used to it. . pay for yourself and if he cant afford to do certain things too bad for him. boys get comfortable if you pay he'll just keep letting you . . .i should know. hunn ...... your worth more then that im not saying you need a guy who will spoil you , but you need a man who can at least take care of himself. xoxo hope it all works out. ive been there so if you need to talk pm me !

PrettyPaula
05-04-2008, 06:25 PM
im a firm believer that yes relationships take work, but it should NOT be that hard..

i used to think otherwise until i met my fiance. now i know i was wrong, it should flow, no drama, no arguments. just happiness and understanding.

no man should ever make you feel like cr@p.

Happy Penguin
05-04-2008, 11:07 PM
Ok I Dont Want To Sound Like A Witch But You Are All Wrong We Are Happy Hes Broke Now Because Hes In The Party Businness N With The Economy The Way It Is Partys Are Low! He Does Support Me In Everything I Do N I Support Him In What He Does I Love That He Loves Cars N I Rather Him Waste Money Onc Ar Things Then Drugs Or Stupid Shyt Like That But You Need To Understand That As His Gf N Future Wife Im Going To Be Worried I Have Seen Friend Die In Racing Accidents Even His Nephew Died In An Accidnet So Yes I Worrry

Im Sorry If Im Sounding *****y But Youu Girls Telling Me That I Should Leave Him Really Got Me Upsset

Happy Penguin
05-04-2008, 11:10 PM
First of all breathe!

Second of all, do you know when you started being more emotional? Do you think it has to do with weight loss or maybe your bcp? I know I had major mood swings when I started losing weight because my fat intake was too low. Taking fish oil really helped me with that. I've also had major mood swings due to bcp. I'm progesterone sensitive and have to take estrogen only pills. Seriously, if I'm on a pill with progesterone in it I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster and I might commit homicide at any moment.

You have lost 15 lbs! Yay! That is so awesome! You are a beautiful woman, I say wear your bikini and be proud. Don't worry about what his friends think! Bring a cover up with you if you want, but honestly (from my personal experience) guys don't usually sit there and judge their friend's gf body.

I'm not sure what kind of car thing your bf goes to. I can see your concern if it's drag racing since that isn't legal in most places, but you can't control your bf. Tell him to wear his seat belt and try to get some sleep. My DH's little brother races and it concerns the whole family, but there is nothing we can do to stop him, so... we just hope for the best.

I'd also suggest you stop paying for both of you. Go dutch certainly, but if he can't afford to go out then maybe you should just hang out at home or at a friends house. Trust me, that is a cycle you do not want to start! If you always pay for stuff now, you always will (unless he has a history of paying in the past and this is just a recent thing.)

Have fun at the beach tomorrow! I hope things start working out better for you guys!

WE WENT TO THE BEACH N DIDNT MEET UP WITH THE FRIENDS WE EVEN ALL WENT IN MY AUNTS CAR SO WE COULDNT MEET UP WITH THEM IF WE CHANGED OUR MINDS ANYWAYS. WE WERE IN THE WATER AND A GROUP OF PPL ARE AGE WALKED UP N HE KNEW ONE OF THEM SO I WAS LIKE GREAT HE WENT SAID HI BUT I STAYED BY OUR STUFF TAKING CARE OF MY COUSIN
WHEN WE WERE LEAVING WE WERE RINSING OFF IN THE SHOWERS AND THEY WERE BEHIND US N THE GUY ASKED MY BF SO IS THIS UR WIFE AND HE SAID YES AND MADE MY HEART STOP HES ALWAYS INTRODUCED ME AS HIS GF N TODAY HE DID AS HIS WIFE

shrinkinglizzy
05-04-2008, 11:54 PM
Oh my oh my...hey, i hear ya on getting upset when folks tell you to leave your man, but girl, i've been reading post after post from you about problems with him! you can't paint this picture of your relationship and then expect us to support you being with him!

I'm still with everyone else about the $$ -- my ex had great excuses for not having any cash, too (real estate market, talk about bad times), and now all those excuses add up to 30K that he owes me.

Frankly, I get a very strange feeling from reading your posts. Like something isn't quite right. I really hope you're taking care of yourself. Everyone on here actually really cares about you, well, at least I do. And I'm pretty sure everyone else does, too.

S

sh3l5
05-05-2008, 07:07 AM
from cars i assume your fella is a cruiser....
goes to car cruises, meets up with like minded people to talk about cars and street race?....
i know what its all about, i love the scene....
even got meself a rare imported sports car....
do you know what kind of culture goes with the scene?....
not everyones like it but you should understand wot is associated with it....

Kriket84
05-05-2008, 12:34 PM
Hi mama, you need a :hug: maybe two.
I want you to know that DH and I race also. HOWEVER we race legally. We've raced kart, and Autocrossed our DD's when the Kart is busted. I will say that there is no excuse for your man streetracing. (if thats what he does, I don't think that you ever said he streetraced. It was just implied) I worry about DH when we sanction race. I've wrapped myself around a cement post in a kart, the only thing that saved my skin (literally) was my fire suit and my helmet.
I do understand the "culture" of streetracing, and frankly, I would never be part of it and never try to raise a family with a man that wanted to be part of it.
Only you can decide what you want for you and your family. The ladies are right, relationships shouldn't be hard, they shouldn't make you sad, but you have to decide.
Much love and you know that 3FC will support you no matter your decision.

Happy Penguin
05-05-2008, 06:44 PM
from cars i assume your fella is a cruiser....
goes to car cruises, meets up with like minded people to talk about cars and street race?....
i know what its all about, i love the scene....
even got meself a rare imported sports car....
do you know what kind of culture goes with the scene?....
not everyones like it but you should understand wot is associated with it....

i do know understand what associates it
and i actually like going with him when he takes me

sh3l5
05-06-2008, 03:24 AM
they are great fun....
i love em to bits....
im just not one for the 'extra' activities....