Support Groups - Steel Magnolias -- #14

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05-02-2008, 11:57 PM
Good Evening, Flowers! It began raining late this morning and has been raining off and on (mostly on!) ever since. We have a new member in our family tonight! We went to the vet's office late this afternoon and met "Samuel" (think we will change his name) -- I said if he didn't like us it would be just a visit. I did take the cat carrier in and we were put in a little room; I sat on a bench with him and when I put him down he walked right into the carrier. I asked the vet's assistant if she had been talking to him about us! :lol: He's already used the litter box so guess he can stay! I have a feeling he is going to be a big cat because he has big paws. They thought he was about 1 1/2 - 2 years old.

MIL is arriving in Omaha tomorrow AFTER Bob said to wait until after Mother's Day because he has a full schedule of meetings and appointments next week. I could cheerfully wring his brother's neck!!!!!! :tantrum: His brother has always have made the travel (by air) arrangements for her without checking with us first to see when it would be convenient for us to drive 2 1/2 hours to pick her up. This will be the last time because she is here to stay. I'm so tempted to tell his brother he is not welcome to come visit without giving us at least 2 weeks notice and see what he says. If I can keep Bob calm through the weekend I will be doing good. She is scheduled for the assisted living facility interview on Sunday morning at 8:30 and then can move her body in on Monday morning. That is such a stupid rule! I can't figure out what is going to happen overnight when her furniture and stuff is all moved into the apartment. I shouldn't complain because we have not had the responsibility of her except for the summer months. It will be different.

Gloria -- It is nice to see your post. A belated Happy Birthday to you!

Maggie -- Enjoy your new air conditioner. I remember the days before air conditioning and wonder how we ever survived.

Susan -- My heart aches for you and Stan! I have worked with Hospice for both my mom and dad; they were absolutely wonderful and such caring people. The best thing is that they can regulate the meds, for comfort, without having to go through the doctor to get permission to do so. Whenever we had a question or needed to talk they were there. You have been and are in my thoughts and prayers.

I have laundry going. This new machine sounds like something out of a movie with the "whooshes and sighs" it makes. The lid locks so I can't even see if I put in enough detergent or have enough water; it's supposed to know how much water is needed and I'm guessing at the detergent amount.

Tomorrow is my morning to work in the gift shop and then we are heading to Omaha to pick up MIL. I need to clean and get groceries but that isn't going to happen before Sunday, I don't think. Hope you all have a relaxing, "good" weekend!

Jean -- :rain: in Iowa!

05-03-2008, 08:51 AM
Good morning, ladies. Another lovely 85 degree day here.

Hospice came yesterday and she told me to give him a full syringe of morphine as often as he has pain or becomes agitated. It works a lot better. Within 2 hours she had more morphine and ativan (for bone pain) delivered to me. It will probably not be more than a week. He no longer will take anything orally, hasn't eaten and has no urine or stool output anymore. His foot and leg are very cold.

Jean, that is the way it is in VA, too, interview one day and can't move in until next. Maybe its to give them a chance to change their mind. I hope your MIL likes the place and adjusts quickly.

Gloria, happy belated birthday!

Maggie, should we pray for a heat wave so you can try out the air conditioner or do you want to wait?

Faye, hope you are getting stronger by the day. Are those knitting needles flying?

05-03-2008, 04:13 PM
Good afternoon gals! I am having a little tougher day today, a bit more pain than usual, but I am sure it will work itself out. I slept all night, which was good.

Jack bought me a pink I-pod for Mother's Day so he is downloading all my cd's so I will have walking music as soon as I am well enough to start walking again.

Susan: My heart just breaks for you. I was so shocked when I read your last post I just sat here and sobbed. Please know that I will pray for you and Stan daily and I hope if he cannot get better, he at least will be comfortable in his time left. I only wish all us old gals were in Yorktown right now so we could just envelope you in a big old :grouphug: Know that though we are all spread out, we are here for you at any time.

Jean: Relatives, don't you just love them! Sounds like the ole bil needs a lesson in common courtesy. My sil was a pip while she was here then while my dd was taking her back to Little Rock to catch her flight home, told my dd that she had to get me to get Jack to go have a full cardiac workup immediately as he was in heart failure!!! Her reasoning, he loses his breath when he bends over to tie his shoes. It is a long story, but suffice it to say, she butted in lots and lots while I was at the hospital even to the point of refusing to sit down when my dr was changing my dressing. He brought in my nurse and my sil stood there with gloves on to help and wouldn't sit down until Jack told her to be a sister not a nurse!!! So, it is going to get interesting I imagine.

Have a good afternoon gals. I am going back to my chair and get ready to watch the Cubs game.


05-04-2008, 12:43 AM
Good Night! I am on my way to bed but wanted to read the latest posts first. I've had a long day! I got up early because I had to shovel the boxes, etc., out of the spare room that MIL moved into. Bob said to stack 'em in the entry way by the front door so I did. I worked at the gift shop and we left for Omaha at noon. Bob's brother called when they had the luggage picked up and we drove through, loaded, and headed back home again. It was a long time in the car! Since I hadn't been grocery shopping I headed to the store when we got home, fixed BLTs for supper, and finally finished picking up the kitchen about 8. I sorted through the mail, read today's paper, put in another load of laundry, and have the dishwasher ready to run. We'll be up fairly early tomorrow because Bob has to take his mom to the facility for her interview at 8:30. She is already talking about driving up to the lake and she hasn't been doing any kind of exercise for 2 months, let alone drive anywhere since last fall. Bob and I had decided beforehand that she wouldn't be driving anywhere! Since the car is in our name we can sell it and she wouldn't know the difference. I could just tell Bob was gritting his teeth. It will be interesting to see how this plays out . . . I see a rerun of two summers ago. :(

Susan -- I really think that when the patient gives up the process seems to go more quickly. I'm like Faye and wish we could be there for you. :hug:

"Gma" -- I guess it is a good thing that we can choose our friends since we can't choose our relatives! ;)

I will see you tomorrow . . . I'm going to bed!

Jean -- :yawn: in Iowa!

05-04-2008, 06:48 PM
Good afternoon to you all. I had a rough night and am having a rough day today so will be short. Just wanted to check in. I am running a fever on and off, but seems to be handled by tylenol. I will talk to the dr about it on Tuesday when I go. I am also constipated so am very uncomfortable. I have been drinking gallons of water, but not eating enough. I do try, but one bite too many and I start to gag like it is sawdust. I am just going to have to take it easy I guess.

Jean: Hope you can get mil all settled in and she stay put this year! I know this has to chap Bob since you guys did so much work a year ago to get her into that facility.

Nothing new here. I feel like a prisoner. I think you get that way when you are sick. I just don't feel well enough to leave the house yet.

Everyone have a nice Sunday!

05-04-2008, 09:13 PM
Good evening, ladies!

My dear husband died at 10:46 this morning. He was very peaceful. I was talking to him and he just stopped breathing and that was it. As sad as I am and as much as I will miss him, it is indeed a blessing for him to have his suffering over.

My friends are wonderful and were here in a few minutes. Hospice came and took care of contacting the funeral home for me.

My husband wanted to be cremated so that is being done. I will have no viewing or calling hours. Those who mattered came to see us during his illness. The rest need not come now. I am have a funeral Mass later in the week.

Jean, has Samuel settled in? A new cat is fun.

Faye, hope you are feeling better. I tell you, I think the colon is the most important part of the body as far as feeling good. When it doesn't work right we are miserable. It's probably taking a little while for yours to realize it needs to get back into operation.

05-04-2008, 09:47 PM
Good Evening, Flowers! I've been working on music award certificates for the band director. For whatever reason I inherited the job when the two teachers who do calligraphy backed out on him. I took the class and have the pens but don't actually do it other than my usual penmanship printing. He's happy so guess that's what matters. :yes:

MIL keeps making reference to where "her" car is and she thinks she could probably make it to the Penneys store 40 miles away, as well as being at the lake this summer. Bob flat out told her we were selling the car and she couldn't stay at the lake alone this summer. It could be a long summer! :twirly:

We've decided to call the cat Sam. He does look like a Sam, not an Ernie! I think of Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie when I hear that name.

I am not ready for it to be Monday tomorrow. We have 3 weeks of classes left; on Tuesday there is a 2 1/2 hour assembly to hand out academic awards and scholarships which is VERY boring unless you are a senior and receiving the awards. These kids can't shut up for a 15 minute jazz band/speech presentation for the state qualifiers so I don't know how they will ever last 2 1/2 hours. I have a hard time sitting that long!

"Gma" -- I hope you are feeling better by now. :hug:

Susan -- I am so very sorry about Stan's death. I had a gut feeling last night, after reading your post, that Stan would not last more than a day or two at the most. Even though it is so hard to lose a loved one, when they are suffering, have been through so much, and won't get any better, you just can't wish them to linger. You are in my thoughts and prayers my friend. I just wish we lived closer so that I could give you a hug in person. :hug: You take care.

Hope you all have a nice Monday! Our weather has been gorgeous today!

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

05-05-2008, 01:42 PM

Out here in California this is a big day full of celebrations. Probably is in other states now that everywhere is filling up with the folks from south of the border.

GOOD MORNING or did I already say that in my title. Yep but it is a good morning ~ the birds are twitterpating and it isn't hot as of yet. While out driving yesterday I saw a coyote up close and a few squirrles squirling around and some wild turkeys and a black tipped ear Hair ~ AKA Jack rabbit, but they aren't really rabbits but Hairs. Anyway, I got to see some animals out here in the country that the city folks have to visit zoos to see. Turkeys parade in our little yard.

I hear the donkey braying from across the road at the ranch. They have some beautiful horses over there also. That donkey keeps the coyotes away ~ it is the Coyote Ranch so they need that donkey.:D

SUSAN Well dear you will be going through the different steps of grief now so just let yourself go with it. Work through it and it is so good you have your support system close by.* :hug:

JEAN So your MIL thinks she can still gad about and doesn't realize her capabilities. That is rough for those around her such as you and Bob because you have to tell her she "can't" do the things she wants to do and thinks she can but in reality can't.:hug: Sam is a good moniker.* What color is he. And do teach him to play fetch for that is so much fun.

FAYE It will get better. It will. Just get through it an hour at at time or minute at at time and it will get better.:hug: Your innards have to learn to function once again. Sawdust doesn't go down very easily does it.

Everyone gets hughs today! I think I will make tacos this day. But first I will make a smoothie with fresh strawberries for breakfast.


05-05-2008, 08:17 PM
Good Evening, Flowers! Well, Monday is over and done with for another week. It was pretty low key at school. I think kids are staying up too late since it is lighter later and they are groggy stupid the next day. :twirly: It's been a beautiful day in my neighborhood. MIL is checked into the assisted living place. You have to have a do-dingus to get inside the place or else call on the entry way phone for the person you are visiting to let you in. Bob has a do-dingus and was to get one for me today, so that I can visit w/o him if I want.

Maggie -- It looks kind of lonely here today. I think MIL will soon figure out that what Bob says "goes" this time around. Since we are the only ones here she can't expect attention 24/7. She had lots of family in AZ who came to visit from time to time, and she kept reminding us of how good they were to her. Finally Bob asked her just who she thought got this apt. arranged and set up for her, for the second time. Under his breath he said, "and the last time!" He's told both of his brothers that if she decides she doesn't like it here it is up to them to get her moved some place else. He also told her that she could spend time at the lake when his brothers come back and can be with her up there. One of the questions at the assisted living interview was to spell "world" backwards. Bob said he had to stop and think! :lol: She passed that as well as some number/color/simple math questions with ease. You better believe the locals celebrated the day around here! Iowa is one of the fastest growing states for immigration -- I wish we'd get smart like New Mexico and AZ! Instead we are "come one, come all . . . free, free, free!" :( No wonder we are losing our college grads to other states.

"Gma" -- I hope you are feeling better. I am worried since you didn't post today.

Susan -- Hugs and prayers for you.

I need to strip the bed and put it back together for the next "guest" who comes to stay. Hope you all have a relaxing evening and a terrific Tuesday tomorrow.

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

05-05-2008, 08:49 PM
Good evening, ladies. A lovely day in VA.

Made the final arrangements for the cremation and Mass of the Resurrection today so that is taken care of. I am having the service at 5:30 pm on Thursday. That way my friends won't have to take off work and they can be with me. The rental agency told me his hospital bed was ours but they did pick it up as a donation. That seemed more final than anything else I have done.

We have a lot of Mexicans in our area. Many work in the seafood industry and a lot do construction work. So big doings today.

Jean, just keep counting those days, school will soon be over. I hope your mother in law comes to appreciate all you have done and continue to do for her. She seems very ungrateful. I'll be she told those in PHX all the stuff you did for her.

I hope Faye is okay. It's not like her not to post a few lines at least and she was feeling bad yesterday.

05-05-2008, 09:27 PM

It has been a lovely day here this day. Did use our new air conditioner and it works great. Nice and quiet and puts out the cool ~ enough for the whole MH. We are not going to replace the one in the sleeping area whch ran on the generator. Decided for a ceiling fan instead which will run off the battery so that will be our next purchase for the upgrade. The battery gets a recharge when needed automatically. They are separate batteries than run the vehicle.

We just finished a delightful bowl of strawberries. I love this time of the year when those are in season. They just might be my most favorite fruit. Living out here there is absolutely no excuse for getting in the required number of fruits and veggies. If I don't show a loss :goodscale this week I am really going to have to crank my eating down another notch. And maybe crank up the exercise a notch woudn't be so bad either.

SUSAN What a relief it must be to have all those arrangements made now. How nice of you to think of your friends schedules while making the service time. You are one special lady. :hug:

FAYE my friend ~ where art thou? I sure hope you are resting comfortable and that would be the best place for you! I do pray that all goes well with you. Please don't over do it. :nono::getwell:

JEAN And how is SAM? Ragg Mopp would love a kitty to play with, but alas, there is no room. Well some folks have 3 dogs and a couple of cats all living in their MH's with them but that is a bit too much for us. :shrug: We were next to a couple that had 7 huge type dogs with them and they both worked and those dogs tore up the place on a regular basis. Such is their choice.

Have a lovely evening my lovlies. (I sure hope those *'s don't appear again after every period I type. I tried to delete them all last post and see I missed one.)

05-06-2008, 01:37 PM
GOOD MORNINGIt is fixin' to be a hot:flame: one this day. It is early and I can just feel it coming on. But we take what we get.

Will is such a keeper. He had to get up early to head down the road to dentist in the big city. Ah, but he loaded the coffee pot and all I had to do was push a button and fill my tall sipper cup. Which incidently is so neat. I push a button to sip but when it is closed and knocked over it doesn't spill and keeps the coffee hot for as long as I have any coffee in there to drink. It says it will keep it hot for 4 hours but I drink it up way before that happens.* I do like my coffee hot.;)

FAYE Girlfriend, I certainly do hope you are getting to feel better and all is well with your system. Just want you to know we miss you around here and all are rooting for your quick recovery.:getwell: There is another boquet ~ the one from the other day is kinda wilty.

SUSAN & JEAN & GLORIA I trust the three of you are having a nice day this beautiful May day in 2008.

I'll type at you later.

05-06-2008, 10:14 PM
Good evening, ladies! Another nice day in SE VA.

Went to the church today and finished arrangements there. Then went and paid the undertaker. They said not to worry about it until I got the insurance check but I just wanted to get everything over and done with. Nothing to do tomorrow so I'm going to start packing up his clothes and going through things. I already know there are some articles of clothing I'll keep. Most will go to the church's thrift store. We use the money to fund our food kitchen.

I guess Spring is officially here - I can hear them practicing at Langely Speedway tonight. When the wind is right, the sound comes down here - about 3 miles. Mostly at night we hear the wind tunnels. They are unbelievably loud and they can only run them after 10 PM because the require so much electricity. Unless I concentrate, I don't hear them consciously anymore but when we first moved here they scared me half to death.

Maggie, you definitely have a keeper. I have the Mr. Coffee with a timer so my coffee is ready when I come downstairs in the morning.

05-06-2008, 10:21 PM

I think I hear an echo . . . Hope all of you gals are doing alright and Faye is improving.

I am so pleased that we have that air conditioner installed. Not much to say this evening ~ just thought I'd come check and see if any one posted that my mail didn't notify me of.

Gonna watch another few episodes of CSI Los Vegas. We have been getting them from Netflix and have just about seen them all now. We did see just a few episodes when we had TV but that has been ages ago.

I'll type at you later :wave: After I posted this I saw you SUSAN and came back to say howdy. Girlfriend looks like you have done what it takes to get the arrangements for the ceremony. Take care of yourself now.

05-07-2008, 12:58 AM
Good Evening, Flowers! The thunderstorms arrived late this afternoon and it has been raining ever since. It was dark coming home from school so I knew we were going to get some weather. Some places got hail but we just got wind and rain. The special ed. director is pulling me out of a study hall and sending me to the alternative school to "save" a credit for some special ed. student who has moved back into the district and she wasn't notified. He would have been placed in a special ed. classroom had she known. Anyhow, we only have 13 days of classes left and I sure as he** don't know how we can accomplish much if he has the low skill level she says he does. :dizzy: I will have to drive to another building which isn't far but will be a hassle finding a parking place. I come back to finding a parking place because it is during the last lunch period when the community college changes classes and the students try to park in our lot. I have to be in an algebra class in another part of the building and start the class while the teacher takes care of make-up slips and takes attendance; it doesn't sound like any fun to me. :no:

Susan -- It is so considerate of you to schedule Stan's service so that your friends can be with you without taking time off from work. :yes: I'm sure you have many things to take care of. I hope that you can relax over the weekend. What is a wind tunnel? That makes me think of a tornado. Is it connected to the speedway? MIL is typical of an "old" person, soon to be 88, with lots of real aches and pains. She's had trouble with an ulcer every once in awhile, had heart bypass a few years ago (she doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, exercised, and ate all the right foods), has had a broken wrist requiring surgery, a broken collar bone, back surgery, gall bladder surgery, stomach surgery, and the broken ankle to name a few. Every thing happened when she/they were in AZ for the winter months so we didn't really get in on any of it. Her back is compressing so she is scrunched together which makes her innards uncomfortable. I'm sure she is under 5' now and weighs 96 #s. She is still feisty though. I know that she appreciates all that we do, but she also repeats things/events that she has already told us about. I do that sometimes too! :lol:

Maggie -- Sam is settling right in and becoming a character in his own right. I'm convinced that he belonged to someone because he wasn't a bit spooky coming into the house. He doesn't like thunder though. :no: I can almost taste the fresh strawberries. They have been in our stores but still look a bit worse for their trip here. It's good that you have your new air conditioner installed and ready to go. We use ceiling fans in the bedrooms and kitchen; I do think they help.

"Gma" -- I am worried about you! I hope that you are resting comfortably. :D

I am heading to bed. Have a good Wednesday tomorrow!

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

05-07-2008, 12:40 PM
Good morning, ladies. 85 degrees today!

I think Faye is okay but uncomfortable right now. I received a lovely floral arrangement from her and Jack yesterday and I emailed her a thank you and she replied. I'm sure she'll be back with us soon.

I have far too much food in this house but it seems to help people to do something. I set all the desserts aside to take to the church tomorrow to serve with the dinner after the service. That is one thing I don't need here! I even had one dear friend who made me a pot of Vegetarian Chili (it is delicious) from a WW recipe.

Jean, here's a link you can cut and paste into your browser window that tells you all about the wind tunnels at NASA Langley Research Center - only 1 mile from my house. There are 23 tunnels, by the way.
It's all really fascinating. It would make a good report for a school kid.

05-07-2008, 10:35 PM
Good Evening, Flowers! I've had my nap in front of the TV and feel a little more awake than I did. We had an early meeting at school this morning so my day started at 5 AM. There was an hour and a half assembly this afternoon; it's an awards/scholarship/recognition type of thing and usually the same juniors and seniors are asked to come forward. The principal gave the usual speech about being attentive and courteous to the different presenters, etc. She ended by saying that anyone who felt they couldn't sit and behave could go to the ed. lab with their homework and work. :rolleyes: Well, any kid that has sat through this before surely didn't want to go (me neither!), so I stopped by to offer to take kids to another room when the ed. lab was full. The ed. lab aide told kids they had to go to the assembly and then if they got kicked out would face the consequences. I happened to see two girls duck into a remote bathroom and waited for them to come out. They had no intention of going to the assembly but headed that direction as soon as they saw me. :lol: Kids!

Susan -- Thanks for the link for wind tunnels. I have heard of them but never knew exactly what they were all about. Now I will know! :yes: I will be thinking of you tomorrow! :hug:

"Gma" -- I hope you are feeling better each day! :yes:

Maggie and Gloria -- :wave: to you!

I should do a load of laundry and pick up the junk catalogs/mail to pitch. I hope you all have a good Thursday tomorrow.

Jean -- :D in Iowa!

05-09-2008, 09:09 AM
Good morning ladies! Sorry I have you all so worried, but I have been mighty sick. I went to the dr on Tuesday and he put me on antibiotics and did blood work because I am running fevers up to 102, am not eating at all, and vomiting. Last night was my first night without a fever, I slept all night upstairs in the bed and ate half bowl of oatmeal this morning, which is the most I have eaten since Sunday. They are scheduling me for a catscan just to be sure I don't have an obstructed bowel. I am beginning to think the fever was causing the bulk of the problem. I do hope I can continue to improve now.

I hope to start getting back in here regularly. Everyone take care and have a great weekend.


05-09-2008, 09:31 AM
Good morning, ladies! Rain and thunderstorms today.

Faye, I'm so sorry you are still sick. I hope they figure out what is wrong soon and get you on the road to health. I've had 4 bowel obstructions over the years. That is some of the worst pain I've ever had...kidney stone was worse.

Jean, hope MIL is settling in and not giving you and Bob grief.

Gloria and Maggie - Hi!

Stan's funeral Mass was yesterday. I didn't expect more than 20 people and more than 50 showed up. I was so touched. Many of my quilt guild friends came and even 2 who had moved from the area came back to be with me. All of my co-workers, my boss and his 2 daughters, and some of the tenants in our building came. Father Mike gave a beautiful homily and the music was wonderful. We are blessed to have a lady who was trained for the opera in our congregation and she sang. And the organist was a friend who had played at the church for years but left to go to another and he asked to come and do it. So I was surround by loving and caring people.

I think today I am going to do nothing. I don't have to go anywhere or see anyone. I haven't been sleeping very good so I think I might even lay down for awhile this afternoon. And I am definitely going to do some quilting.

Have a good day!

05-09-2008, 07:55 PM
Good Afternoon/Evening! Bob is out mowing so as to beat the rain predicted for tonight and tomorrow. School was wonderful today! My "challenge" student, who has been AWOL for the past 2 weeks, has transferred to the alternative school! He's failing every class and maybe averaged 2 - 3 days of attendance up until last week. His parents are divorced and can't control him. It's a no brainer that he won't show up there either. The other little gal, who tends to take whole weeks off at a time and is dumber than a box of rocks, was charged with truancy on Monday, the cops brought her to school and she spent 2 days in in-school suspension. She's been absent the rest of the week. I don't know what the difference is between the two as far as being charged with truancy . . . maybe she wasn't able to talk her way out of it. Anyhow, let the weekend begin! :cheer:

"Gma" -- I hope that you are feeling lots better by now. We have missed you but understand and hope you are soon on the road to 'normal' once again. :hug:

Susan -- It sounds like Stan had a lovely service and it was nice of so many of your friends and co-workers to attend. I'm sure that you will enjoy some "do nothing" time -- love your cat and enjoy the weekend. :D

I have laundry going so need to check on the load. This new washer is high efficiency and it never "fills" with water which really bugs me. It is supposed to be smart enough to know how much water is needed for however many items are in the tub. The door locks so I can't watch it work. :(

I hope you all have nice weather and enjoy the weekend!

Jean -- :wave: from Iowa!

05-09-2008, 08:14 PM

It is a nice warm day here in sunny California. The new air conditioner sure works great. So thankful to have it.;) Not much going on here in my corner of the world. Lots of the regular stuff which is good in a way.

FAYE Good that you could come visit. OUCH with that temperature. Hope that they get you on an even keel so you can have smooth sailing to health.

SUSAN How nice that you had so many come to show their support and give Stan a good send off. Enjoy your time off for you will be busy once again soon enough.

JEAN Maybe your new washer needs it's settings checked into if it doesn't fill properly. Sometimes those gages are tricky and if the water pressure is such and such they think it is full when it is not.

Have a wonderful eveing folks. Type at you later.