20-Somethings - Suprise Wedding!!!!

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04-30-2008, 04:00 PM
OK so my friend just called me and told me that she was getting married July 26th. Help!!!! I am so not ready to put on a dress. Way to chunky for that one. I just needed to vent and to breathe. What am I going to do??? Any advice.:?:

04-30-2008, 04:01 PM
Wait until a few weeks before the wedding to buy something new (if you feel like buying anything new at all). You'll feel better, and have something to look forward to.

04-30-2008, 04:06 PM
I am in the wedding. I have to stand with her skinny cousin...eeekkk.

04-30-2008, 04:09 PM
Oh you're IN the wedding! Well that's different!

If you have to get a dress soon then (since I'm assuming you do) get one that fits you now. You can always have it altered before the wedding.

Stick with your new healthy plans, and remember that everyone is really interested in staring at the bride that day.

04-30-2008, 04:11 PM
Sheww. I hope so. She is a about 25 lbs bigger than me. But BEAUTIFUL. I just have never been this big and it's killing me. I want so bad to feel beautiful again. I dread dress shopping!!!

04-30-2008, 04:15 PM
It's frustrating to go fancy dress shopping.. :( Don't let the sizes freak you out, though. I find that fancy dresses run small. Get yourself a nice undergarment holdemuppushthatinsuckitup thing, get your hair done and enjoy. You'll look great that day! And the good thing is... it's still a few away. :)

04-30-2008, 04:18 PM
I just feel so bad that I am going to be so big. I have never been this big in my life. Even though my hubby says that I look great, I can see that I have disappointed him in his eyes. But I hope that I can lose some weight. What is a healthy weightloss for 3 months???

04-30-2008, 04:24 PM
Well, you might be bigger than you used to be, but you're still you. That's why your friend wants you in her wedding :)

It's tough to say "how much", but 10 or 15 pounds is probably doable. Focus on one day at a time. Focus on your healthy changes. You know you're doing better for yourself.

04-30-2008, 04:36 PM
Honestly that kind of Attitude..."I'm so fat and disgusting...I want this weight off NOW at all costs" just perpetuates the cycle of weight gain.

I realize it's a stressful situation, but people understand that people go through things and gain weight..It's more of an issue for you than it is for them.

Try and just enjoy the day, and not think about your weight the whole time...act confident even if you don't feel that way.

04-30-2008, 04:49 PM
Old lady here...

you are beautiful. and ya know what no one but you sees your weight. TRUST ME on this.

the best advice has already been given. eat healthy, exercise, buy a dress that fits now hopefully it can be easily altered to be made smaller as you lose weight but if not.. oh well... it's not really gonna be ABOUT YOU to be honest.

OH and spend the mucho bucks on really really GOOD foundation garments at a coutier shop that specializes in them. it can take you down at least one size...

04-30-2008, 05:18 PM
i totally understand where you are coming from. We are getting married the end of may and i had to get a size 22 dress when my jeans are a 16. i cried and cried. Dont worry about the size like i did. Just look for something you like and feel ok in.
I have learned that sizes of dresses are all VERY different.
Work on getting off what you can and know that you are doing the best you can.


04-30-2008, 05:26 PM
I'm pretty much in the same situation! A friend of mine just asked me to be in her wedding the end of JUNE (only TWO months away!!!). Ya, it's totally stressful, the thought of having to put on a bridesmaid dress and stand in front of a bunch of people I don't even know does NOT sound fun to me! BUT, like Faerie said, no one is going to care what you look like! Seriously! It's all about the bride (and groom, kind of.. :) ). It's definitely motivating me to stay on plan and keep up my exercise (gotta tone my arms - it's a STRAPLESS dress - UGH!), but I'm trying not to stress about it. Stressing is going to do NO good... except probably lead you to binge on unhealthy stuff. Good Luck!!

04-30-2008, 05:59 PM
Thanks everyone for their input. I am really stressed about it. I just don't want to stand up there all fat and stuff. I can't stand the thought of it. I look at myself in my sister's wedding pics and I feel fat there and I was like 30 lbs smaller. I hope that I can calm down and take this one day at a time. I know that I lost weight before. I just can't wait to feel pretty again.

04-30-2008, 06:37 PM
you are beautiful. and ya know what no one but you sees your weight. TRUST ME on this.

I agree! We are so much harder on ourselves then other people are. I'll bet your husband means it when he says you look good! Why read into it?

I also agree on getting good undergarments. Regardless of size, having everything smoothed will make you feel good and you'll be more confident.

Warning on bridal/bridesmaids gowns. They run 2-3 size SMALLER then normal clothing. Don't get hung up on a number. Buy a dress that fits now and have it altered down closer to the wedding.

Be there for your friend, have fun, and don't stress!

04-30-2008, 06:56 PM
Honey, I would kill to be 177.

And really - people are staring at the bride that day anyway! And I agree it's all in the attitude. I have my brothers wedding on saturday and all of the bridesmaids are 100 pounds soaking wet - and so are my cousins!

I recently posted about my fears of going to my brother wedding because I WILL be the biggest girl there. But ya know what? I don't care! I am on the right path doing what's best for me and I maybe carrying extra weight - but you better believe I am going to carry double that in confidence!

04-30-2008, 08:05 PM
1. SPANX undergarnments work wonders!
2. Hit the weights, if you aren't already. Within six weeks you may see some changes in your tone despite seeing major changes on the scale. Plus, it'll make you feel stronger, and it's all about the confidence, not the size of your clothes.

Hope that helps

04-30-2008, 08:31 PM
Another old woman here...Ya gotta breathe... LOL... I'll bet you could get down one size... but I agree, get the dress that fits now... I'm sure you have the calender and calculator out by now... I just went thru similiar for a family wedding ... and the second I started planning what I needed to lose... forget it ... I couldn't stay OP at all. I ended up staying the same weight I started at... but a lot more stressed out for 3 months..
I agree with all above... do your hair, pedi, mani, splurge on some nice undergarments... you'll only be in the dress for what 6 hours ??? then into comfy sweats or jeans.... LOL

04-30-2008, 08:35 PM
Do you get to pick the style of dress? For my bridesmaids, I told them what store to go to and what color. Then they got to pick whatever style dress they wanted. They were all beautiful, and 2 of them are overweight (one of them weighs a little over 300, but the dress she picked was super flattering). Hopefully the bride will let you pick the style, if not the color.

04-30-2008, 08:59 PM
You've got about 12 weeks I think you coul lose 12-15 pounds in that time, that would be about one dress size. I think you can do it'

04-30-2008, 09:12 PM
Just last weekend I was in my sisters wedding. I was the biggest bridesmaid, all the others wore size 6 or less, but I did not let it bother me. Smile! You are beautiful the way you are. I was nervous to be in the wedding with all my family and sister's friends looking at me, but I was to glad to see them to worry about how I looked. I got my hair and make-up done and a mani/pedi. Pamper yourself the day before the wedding. You will look and feel beautiful!

04-30-2008, 09:17 PM
I am in the wedding. I have to stand with her skinny cousin...eeekkk.

I hear ya. My sisters wedding is July 5th and I am the maid of honor. She also has 10 attendents and they are all skinny little things.