My mom has just started WW and is doing excellently so far (15 pounds lost in the first few weeks!)
Her big problem is starting out with a bang and then losing motivation.
I wanted to give her a copy of something I read on here but I can't seem to find it for the life of me! It was written by one of the all-stars- Meg? Robin? the other Robin? I'm not sure...
But it was a long bulleted list/story about the many things in her life that are different now that she's lost the weight. Like airplane trips, sitting on plastic chairs... stuff like that...
It was so inspiring and showed me all the MANY things in life that I didn't realize my weight was ruining...
If anyone can point me in the right direction, I would be VERY grateful!
04-24-2008, 12:21 PM
I'm new, so I am of no help. But I would like to read it too. It would be nice to have to review on those tough days and I am looking for some inspiration.
04-24-2008, 12:30 PM
I think I just read what you are talking about like last week.. I have no clue even what area I saw it in.. I wonder this board so hap-hazzardly..lol. I will keep in mind to let you know if I bump into it again!
04-24-2008, 12:36 PM
There are a couple of threads I can think of with that general theme:
But this posting was like PAGES long... by one person... I have a feeling she started the thread herself after she lost all the weight... and other people commented on it... not like a "post what you've learned" type of post...
Thanks though... I've searched and searched these forums... can't find it anywhere (she posted it a long time ago, I believe). Yet I've read it TWICE since I've been on here. You think I would remember WHO wrote it! (I thought it was one of the Robins, though)
04-24-2008, 12:54 PM
I remember it as well (my memory says it was a Robin too) and have looked for it again to no avail. It was a great post!
ETA- The one I'm thinking of used to be in the Goal section- I think.
04-24-2008, 12:56 PM
Was it glory's?
04-24-2008, 01:13 PM
I think I remember the Meg thread you're talking about Jen - wish I had saved it. By the way.. LOVE the new display picture!
04-24-2008, 01:27 PM
Gee, thanks! :-) That's me with a "healthy glow" on my honeymoon cruise last year... approx. 269 pounds (and growing with all that delicious food!)
Anyhow... it's not Glory's (though hers is very inspirational)... and it's not Meg's big story about how she lost her weight...
It's the "things I realized after" that I'm looking for... from one specific person... hmph... Thanks for helping so far, girls!
04-24-2008, 01:32 PM
I'm almost positive that RockinRobin wrote it. If you PM her, I bet she can find it for you. :)
Nope, not it--- it was WAY more involved... I PM'd RockinRobin and asked her for it--- if I find it I will post it on here--- It really hit me so hard the first time I read it. The newbies should be able to enjoy it as well. I don't know where it went!
04-24-2008, 05:33 PM
Hi Jen, I've been out all day, enjoying my new life I might add. My kids are off from school this week and I took the day off and I did something I never would have or could have done when I was so heavy. We went on a boat. It was lots of fun. And then we went to the park and had a picnic. It was great. These are things I mostly missed out with my kids when they were little. They're much older now. Oh well, better late then never.
I don't know specifically which thread you're speaking of. I've responded to so many in the past with that same type theme :blah::blah:. I don't recall ever using bullets though. I do think Mandalinn has though. But I certainly have mentioned my past avoidance/fear of chairs & airplanes and the such. I'm sorry. When I get a chance I'll try to take a look, see if I can dig something up.
Oh and tell your mom, it's not motivation she needs - it's COMMITMENT. Cause as we all know, motivation comes and goes and is never really around when there's cheesecake or chocolate nearby, ;), but once you make that COMMITMENT, well then that's that. It doesn't matter. Because you're commited to that healthier life. And there's no turning back. You just keep plugging away.
Robin... that last post of yours was INCREDIBLE. Thank you :)
04-28-2008, 11:33 AM
YES! Robin, that last post is the one I was talking about. I think it was one of the FIRST ones I read when I re-joined 3FC and I swear it just hit me to the core- - (and, maybe not bulleted, per se... but dashed points instead of bulleted points!) Thank goodness you found it! Thanks!!! I'll repost it below...
I've made it ONEderland. Monday's are my weigh-in day and I am down 2 lbs since last week, which brings me to 199 lbs. I am very pleased to have that little 1 in front of my weight. It's been a looong time. Although I can't tell you exactly how long, since I had avoided the scale for close to 15 years prior to my lifestyle change. 199 is a very nice number indeed since I started this venture at 287 lbs. But I've still got a lot of work that needs to be done. I am really looking forward to losing another 12 lbs which will bring my total weightloss to 100lbs. And then there's 175 and 160 and 143 (half of my former self) and then 130 and 125 and who knows........it's all up to me.
Some things I've discovered so far and some random thoughts in no particular order:
-Knowing how or why I let myself get so heavy in the first place is irrelevant. Still not sure as to why I thought it was okay to be so fat. Still not sure why I thought I didn't deserve the chance to have the very best possible life that I can have. Still not sure why I was willing to settle for second best, when first was within my reach. I may never know. You don't need to figure everything out before you make a change.
-I spend a lot less time worrying now. I was always worried when I was 287 lbs. Worried when I had to go to a social event - what would I wear? Would I get a "good" seat? Would I have to stand a lot? What would I wear? I was worried about my children's school functions, some issues as above. Going to a movie was worrisome, would the aisle seat be available and would I be able to get it? Every single party and event brought on tons and tons of anxieties. What if there's folding chairs? Would I break it? Or lawn chairs? Beach chairs? Yup, I was always worried about chairs. I haven't flown for over 13 years due to this fact. For the record I no longer worry about them any more. Then there was the constant worrying about putting myself at increased risk for certain cancers and heart disease and diabetes. I just spent an awful lot of time worrying. Now, not so much. I spend more time doing.
-Clothes shopping is an absolute joy now. I actually cried in a dressing room recently. I became so overwhelmed by the fact that I was in a regular sized store. I simply can not wait to see what it will be like as I get closer to my goal.
-Food was never the enemy, or the scale - it was me the whole time. I was my own worst enemy.
-My old life was full of shame. Being so sedentary and inactive was a big source of embarassment for me. That is no longer the case. The ability to exercise and have movement and activity in one's life is a joy and a blessing.
-I absolutely love how I eat now. I am so proud of my food choices. The healthy foods in normal sized-portions. I was ashamed of how I used to eat. I had to hide it from the world. I felt sneaky and dirty. Just yuck. I can now shout out my eating habits from the rooftops. I eat just as healthy as anyone else, if not more so.
-Collar bones are sexier and prettier then any diamond necklace in the world. Without a doubt!
-It is absolutely possible to reprogram the brain. This new lifestyle is completely ingrained in my brain. It's like I've discovered a new religon or something. And I like it. I've done a complete 180.
-Determination and commitment increases as you go along. Obsession is an added bonus.
-Energy is a wonderful, wonderful thing. And very new to me. I like it.
-I am so lucky to have found 3FC. I have learned a lot from this place.
-I loved food before, I love it now, maybe more so. Though I definitely love myself more.
-Nothing tastes quite as delicious as walking up a flight of stairs without getting winded. Nothing tastes quite as yummy as being able to get off the floor quickly.
-I've given up nothing by giving up the high calorie, high fat, high sugar, high quantity of food. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I have gained so much in every aspect of my life. There is not one area that has not seen great improvement, socially, physically, mentally. From minor things to major things.
-Food should not be used for consolement, boredom, lonliness, anger, happiness and the such. Remeber it IS possible to reprogram the brain.
-Food was my so called drug of choice. But it was my indeed my choice. I am the one that chose to eat my way up to 287lbs. I now choose to be healthy and fit and trim and active. We can't change our height ( ), our eye color or the weather. We have no control over those things. We most certainly have the control over our weight, maybe not down to the last few pounds or so, but we have control over it for the most part. We have the power. It's always been there. Like Dorothy and her red slippers. She always had the power to get back to Kansas, she just didn't always know it.
04-28-2008, 11:54 AM
Oh yeah, I forgot about this one too--- they're both excellent--- I've given them to my mom and printed them out for myself so that I can re-read them and remind myself how it will BE WORTH IT in the end!
It really does all boil down to When the pain of being fat finally outweighs the pleasure of eating, that translates into action.
I was never comfortable in my 287 lb skin. I just don't see how any one could. My life sucked. Sorry for the harsh language. I just feel it is needed to show just how strongly I feel about this. Sure there were ASPECTS of it that were wonderful. I loved my friends and of course first and foremost, my family. I loved to entertain and decorate and I get some little joy from work occasionaly. Hubby was great and all. But it didn't matter. I was MISERABLE!!! Beyond belief. There were just too many things I could not do and participate in. Oh and I was soooo full of fears. I've said this before. Chairs, seats - fitting into them, breaking them. I was terrified of stroke and heart disease. Of not seeing my children wed and then have my grandchildren. Of not being able to enjoy these events if I was lucky enough to live this long. I was even worried about my funeral. Just how many pall bearers would they need to lift me and where would they find a box big enough to hold me. Clothing was a HORROR. Walking was a horror. I could go on and on and on. Comfort? I had no comfort. I even tossed and turned all night long. I never had any peace and comfort.
And then I woke up one day and said "I DON"T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY. Period. I just DON"T. I most certainly CAN change it. It IS within my power, it IS within my control. Why in the world had I been settling for second best, when first was well within my reach? Why? Why? Why? Why?
I never, ever, ever want to go back to that scared, miserable, inactive, barely living existience that I had. I feel as if I have truly and completely been reborn. And that's what keeps me inspired.
I used to "eat for comfort"… what? What is that?
Comfort? I had no comfort whatsoever when we took the kids to Disney and I couldn't fit on the rides. Or the fear and anticipation leading UP to the trip KNOWING that it would be **** for me.
Comfort? None when my whole family went horseback riding and I couldn't. Ditto ice skating, rollerblading, swimming or pretty much anything else that requires physical activity.
Comfort? Umm, there was noo comfort at all on that terrible day AFTER 9/11/01. I was at the mall with my kids and there was a bomb threat and we were told to evacuate. I was practically trampled to death since I could not get down the stairs quickly enough. My kids didn't find it so comforting either when then saw their mother helpless, totally helpless.
Comfort? Didn't exist when I got a wedding invitation. Hmmm, what to wear? How long will I have to stand for? Who will I sit next to, because I will be taking up some of their space. How will I dance? How long can I actually dance for before I am out of breath? What will I look like while doing it?
Comfort? Kids school play. Special assembilies? Graduation? Who will I sit next to because I will be taking up some of their space. How will people pass me in the narrow aisles? What will I wear? How will I face the other mothers? How much standing is involved.
Comfort? Going to the movies. Will the aisle seat be available and will I be the one to "get" it, because I need the extra room.
Public transportation? Same as above. I took up 1 1/2 seats, so in reality it was 2 seats. No one could fit in 1/2 seat. I didn't find this comforting either.
Comfort, umm not so much when I was in someone else's car. Who knew if their seatbelt would get around me? Or for how much longer my stretched out seatbelt would fit me? And could it really be all that effective, being stretched out to the absolute max?
Comfort watching the News or reading the newspapers? Ummm, I don't think so. There were always daily reports about how being obese increases your risk for stroke, heart attack, high blood pressure, diabetes, osteoperosis, cancer and on and on and on. My kids used to cringe when they would hear this, not so comforting to know that Mom is PUTTING herself at risk for DEADLY diseases.
Comfort? I didn't find it too comforting to be in a self-induced sugar/carbohydrate fog every day and have to struggle to keep my self awake at THREE O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON.
Comfort? I find no comfort when I look at family photos and it looks as though my family is without a mother because I refused to be photographed. No comfort whatsoever.
I didn't find it all too comforting having to hide my food habits and the ensuing garbage from my family. Not too comforting at all. Now, I don't care who knows EXACTLY what I eat, down to the very last crumb. I am proud of my food choices. Yup, it's ... you guessed it - comforting.
Comfort? Not so much when thinking about the future and my role in my as of yet unborn grandchildren. How would I get down on the floor and play with them?? If I did get down there, how would I get UP? How would I take them to the park and play with them?
The summer? No comfort again. Black clothing just doesn't cut it. Neither does not swimming or hiking or doing outdoorsy active things. Or sweating profusely.
The winter? What if I slipped and fell on the ice? Who would get me up? How would I get transported? How would I get the proper medical care I needed? How?
Vacations? Going on an airplane? - Not so comforting to me. The only trip we took in the past 15 years was to Disney and we DROVE. Had to avoid those airplanes and their tiny liitle seats.
Not so comforting going to well, anywhere, big or small crowd and knowing that you are probably the biggest one there. And the most poorly dressed (lack of choices) and probably the least feminine as well. I wasn't fooling anyone by having my hair and makeup done nicely. I was UNattractive.
Prior to my lifestyle change, I basically sat on the sidelines. And watched. Did not participate in life. I wasn't really and truly LIVING. I was in fact dying.
I THOUGHT I was finding comfort in ice cream and fried foods and huge quantities of rice and pasta and bread and cereal and all that other garbage. Isn't that what "they" say afterall? Ummm, but NO. Now I have finally found comfort. I wake up and look forward to the day. I love getting invitations to go places, I love dancing now, you can't get me off the dance floor. It's so FUN to buy new clothes. It's so enjoyable to BE AROUND PEOPLE WITHOUT ALL THE ADDED ANXITIES that being morbidly obese brings on.
I love going for walks. I can't get enough of them. I love having school functions now. I love talking to people now. I love my kids being proud of me. I love my DH's new nickname for me - "Slim". I love that he can't keep his hands off of me now. I simply LOVE and get comfort from all the energy that I suddenly found, amazing what eliminating sugar and bad carbs will do for ya. I get comfort from knowing that I can shop at any store I want to now, oh, except for Lane Bryant, Ashley Stewart and the Avenue. I CAN"T shop at those THREE stores. Oh well, I'll just have to settle for the other hundreds of stores there are that cater to people my size now. I get comfort from knowing that where ever I go I am just as well dressed, if not better then any one else. I've got my femininity back and I like it!!! It was missing for A LOT of years. How sad. I get hit on all the time now. All right that's not saying much - men are well - men, but yeah - it feels NICE nevertheless. I also get comfort from not having to want to curl up and die whenever my friends would talk about going shopping. I couldn't participate in that activity either. And then there were the dreaded "exercise" and "diet" conversations. MORTIFIED.
Now, for once and for all I am truly finding comfort in my food. I get comfort from my plan and staying in control. That brings me HUGE comfort. I get comfort from knowing that I can do physical things now. I get comfort from knowing that I have brought about positve changes to my health. And that I and I alone have made this big, wonderful IMPORTANT change in my life. I was responsible for being 287 lbs and I am responsible for what I weigh now. Me, me and me. Can I control my weight? Absolutely, positively. How very comforting.
04-28-2008, 02:22 PM
Aww, Jen, I'm glad I was able to scrounge them up.
I tell you, it was good for me to re-read them as well. Thanks for asking.
And boy oh boy, you are so right - in the end it is sooo worth it.