100 lb. Club - How do I comfort without food?




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shelby897
04-19-2008, 11:18 PM
Today has been a very odd day. I woke up this morning feeling rather teary, down and oddly depressed over nothing in particular. It took me a little bit, but I realized that it was probably because my use of food for comfort has stopped. I have not been binging at all for a little while, the first time in about 12 years, and I have this raw feeling, like now the emotions that are there are coming out. How do you deal with this?


Apple Cheeks
04-19-2008, 11:26 PM
I find that when I am exercising is the best time to go over those thoughts and feelings. Often times a good long walk, or doing a work-out tape, helps me deal with strong emotions.

Other times, I will call a friend and talk.

At other times, I will lurk or post on this site.

A lot of times I will journal about it, trying to get at the root of things and examining exactly what I am feeling and why.

Sometimes I will just put on a sad song and let myself cry my eyes out.

And sometimes I will just try to distract myself by working on a project at home, reading a book, or something like that. I will also try to cheer myself up by watching a funny movie or TV show, or even going on to YouTube and watching funny vids there.

Also, I try to take into consideration that it may be happening because it's getting close to my TOM, when I tend to get over-emotional. That helps me put it into perspective, since I realize the mood-swing rollercoaster will be over in a few days or so.

fiberlover
04-19-2008, 11:27 PM
:hug:
That's a tough one for everybody. The raw feelings are there because you aren't medicating yourself with foods, and you are having to actually *feel* them.
Take advantage of this - it's hard, but know that being able to really feel stuff is an amazing thing when you pull the food cloud away from yourself.

You might try journaling, not just food, but your thoughts and feelings as well. There is a whole part of yourself that you will learn about as this process continues.


Get n healthy
04-19-2008, 11:45 PM
Ditto what the others have said. For me, its writing, writing writing. I journal all the time. Talking to close friends and family about stress or whatever is theraputic for me as well. I also pray a lot and this gives me a certain peace.

Lyn2007
04-20-2008, 12:34 AM
Oh yeah. I totally relate. I just wrote about this in my blog. Actually, writing about it helps.

When I am faced with those raw emotions that I can't stuff down with food, I have found that actually sitting with the emotions... feeling them... not fighting them... is best. Deal with the feelings and feel them.

Also I have begun turning to my exercise bike for comfort. Just the action and exertion seem to help EXPRESS the emotion in some way rather than SUPPRESS it with food.

It gets easier.

shelby897
04-20-2008, 10:21 AM
Thanks -- today is much better -- hope to avoid days like yesterday like a plague!!

sumu1
04-20-2008, 10:24 AM
The hardest thing for me after binging for so many years was letting myself feel again. It is SO hard. Giving myself permission to cry, scream, vent was amazingly difficult to do. I always saw myself as the "tough little soldier" who was the rock for everyone. Becoming human again was the tough part. Please, give yourself permission to feel, tell yourself that you feel this way now, you won't feel this way forever, let yourself move through it.

I quit smoking years ago and it's similar to when a craving hits. You need to move through it and feel it and deal with it. If you try to deny it or use willpower to "rally against it", it really doesn't help the healing process. Willpower, I've discovered, is the just the ability to deny yourself something in this world of addictive behavior. Recovery is willing to deal with it, move through it, and come out healthier on the other end. Cry if you need to cry, mope if you need to mope, write it down,or talk it out (even if it's just talking it out in your own head). I found a long walk, with a running dialogue going on in my head mixed with some fresh air always helps. Hope this helps... you'll get there:-).

rockinrobin
04-20-2008, 10:50 AM
Thanks -- today is much better -- hope to avoid days like yesterday like a plague!!

Glad to hear you're having a better day. :hug:

As far as finding comfort, believe it or not, I find the stronger on plan I am, the more comfort I get. Or perhaps it's that feeling of being in control that I find so very comforting. I'm all uptight when I'm eating poorly. Much more relaxed when I'm eating well.

When I'm feeling kinda blue, I find a large hot mug of flavored tea to be really nice. I drink that and find a nice magazine to read. Steal away.

I also enjoy a nice long shower, instead of my usual rushed one. Shave my legs, moisturize, use some powder, perfume. Trim & polish my nails. Stuff like that.

Journaling is good, get those thoughts out. Reflect a little.

Straightening up the house can also snap me out of a mood. Distract me a bit. Probably that sense of control again. Having things in order.

Of course there's exercise. Work out some tension. Burn some calories.

And of course when all else fails, there's shopping!! If you're not up to clothes shopping just yet, there's a new pocket book, a scarf, some inexpensive jewelry, perfume, etc... A new kitchen gadget is nice too.

It doesn't come easy right away. Making new habits is hard. We've been turning to food for SOOOO long in times of stress, lonliness, boredom, heck even happiness. But if we're ever going to get anywhere, we've got to make the decision to turn elsewhere. Food, when you think about, provides the least amount of comfort in the long run. Sure it tastes good, but heck the "good" reallly and truly ends there. It lasts for minutes, we feel like garbage after we eat it and the affects last for a long, long time. And again, like I said in the beginning, eventually you WILL find comfort from staying AWAY from food.

Hang tight Shelby. :hug:

ThisTimeIsDifferent
04-20-2008, 12:13 PM
It happens to me sometimes. I really don't have advice on this issue as I'm still trying to work on it myself. But I'm sending some hugs your way, and it does get better! :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

oreokitty
04-20-2008, 12:28 PM
You are already a step ahead. You realized feelings were coming up for you and that you weren't stuffing them with food. If you can keep that level of emotional awareness, hopefully you won't end up unmindfully binging and thinking "How did I get here?"

You can work through the emotions and realize that stuffing them by food doesn't work for you anymore. And follow the suggestions of others, build new habits, explore the feelings, and realize you are actually healing. :val1:

Keep up the good work,
Amy

readytobeme2010
04-20-2008, 01:04 PM
Sweetheart, alot of awesome advice here......Remember something.....you want to focus on what is truth, what is right, what is good.....


TRUTH #1 FOOD FOR COMFORT IS A LIE.......FOOD FOR ENERGY IS TRUTH & LIFE......

TRUTH #2 SEEK PEACE....THERE IS NO PEACE IN OVER EATING....

TRUTH #3 ACTING ON EMOTIONS ALWAYS = BAD CHOICES.....FOCUS ON RISING ABOVE YOUR EMOTIONS BY STAYING FOCUSED ON WHAT IS TRUE....BE STABLE ...... NO MATTER WHAT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES ARE....


IN DUE TIME, WHEN I FEEL COMFORTABLE ENOUGH I WILL SHARE MY PERSONAL STORY WITH YOU ALL....IT'S LONG, IT'S A TEAR JERKER, BUT IT'S MY STORY FROM THE VICTIM MENTALITY TO THE VICTOR MENTALLITY EVEN THOUGH FOR ALL PRACTICAL PURPOSES NONE OF MY OUTSIDE CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE CHANGED YET.......

SO TAKE COMFORT HONEY, YOU ARE TRULY NOT ALONE

LIKE I SAID....I HAD MORE THAN EATING ISSUES TO CLEAN UP IN MY LIFE....THAT IS TOUGH STUFF (JUST IN CASE YOU ALL ARE WONDERING....NO I WAS NOT AN ALCHOHOLIC OR DRUGGIE) JUST ALOT OF GARBAGE AND LET'S JUST SAY...GOD HAS HAD QUITE THE SURGERY GOING ON IN MY LIFE IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN....PULLING ROOTS...TO PLANT NEW SEEDS THAT WILL SOMEDAY PRODUCE GOOD HARVEST....BUT THE PULLING OF THE ROOTS SUCK.....NO WAY ABOUT IT.....

suzie76
04-20-2008, 06:24 PM
Shelby,

Hugs! I have the exact same problem.

Do you have any favorite music? Sometimes if I'm in a bad mood, listening to the right music can really help. Like if I"m angry, I put on Melissa Etheridge's song "Like the Way I do" and if no one is around, sing really loudly along with
her :D

Please take care,
Sherry

shelby897
04-20-2008, 11:32 PM
You guys are so awesome -- the sisters/mothers/friends I wish I had "in real life" :hug:

Exercise was the medication that saved me this time -- a couple of trips on the trampoline with the kids (and their infectious laughs :D) and a nice trot on the treadmill seem to have settled me.

Thank you all so much -- nice to chat with a few "been there, done that" types!! :hug:

GirlyGirlSebas
04-20-2008, 11:48 PM
Shelby, I struggle with this very same battle constantly. I hope you find your answers. I'm still trying to find mine! :hug:

famograham
04-21-2008, 12:15 AM
Yep, me too...just like Rhonda said. Right now I'm struggling not to put something in my mouth because I'm stressed, angry, scared. My Mom was told that she has lung cancer, but now her biopsy has come back negative so there's this real sense of being on a rollercoaster. While it is still extremely likely that it IS cancer, there's also the constant hope that it's not.

This whole situation makes me feel like my own struggle is so VERY insignificant ( KNOW that's not true ), but it makes it much easier to say "mmm...this looks good...I need to do whatever I can, to make myself feel better!"

I feel your pain, Sistah
:hug:
Linda

amouse
04-21-2008, 03:58 AM
Linda i was wondering how you are you mum were going a little postive news is always good i hope its the plant thing like you said in your blog . Will they do any further investigations or start some form of treatment ???

Surely they wont just leave her if a false negative is a possibility?


as for comfort i cuddle the kids , play with the dog.. whine online .. lol exercise, cuddle up in bed on my own :( ;(and watch a movie.. ( my hubby is working away and im not dealing with it too well lol. i comfort eat too more so at night when the kids are in bed but this month alone i have gained 5 pounds lol so im trying all the above things instead .. lol) .

I hate being alone and i get depressed without my hubby here becuase i cant sleep without the noise of his snoring lol .. :( lol so i come on this forum and bug everyone instead.. i have only behaved for 4 days this month and im on day 4 of behaving lol ..