20-Somethings - moving - unsure about decision.

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04-18-2008, 09:52 PM

I'll be finishing up a 2 year tourism and hospitality management diploma program May 1st, and my plan was to move to Newfoundland on May 12th.

I've been seriously considering, and was convinced that I wanted to move 5,000 km across the country. I currently live on the farthest point west, in BC, and want to move to St. John's, Newfoundland. I've been there several times, and have always loved it. I have been invited on several occasions to live with my aunt and uncle, and have decided to take them up on the offer. I have been talking to my aunt through email, but today we talked on the phone. she raised a lot of concern about me not knowing anybody and getting lonely. This had not crossed through my mind, and I figured I could easily make friends. I've been looking online for jobs, but I figured I would find one when I get there. I'm not going to have a car right away, and am going to have to rely on public transportation.

Have any of you ever up and moved somewhere without knowing anyone? My aunts got me questioning myself now if I really want to do this, and now I'm not sure I really want to. It's always been a dream of mine to move to NL, and I've always admired people who can pick up and move, and get a job, make friends.

Do any of you have stories about moving somewhere new, making friends and finding a job? You all seem so stable in your lives. it sounds like most people on here have boyfriends, or are married, living on their own. It's become a pattern in my life, where I feel like I'm the only person on this planet who isn't in a relationship, out on my own.

04-18-2008, 09:58 PM
Well, you will know somebody , your aunt and uncle. They must have friends and neighbors some of whom will have relatives and friends near your age. You could give it a try , say 6 months to a year to see how it works.

04-18-2008, 10:28 PM
I moved to Hawaii (which is a long long way from home) to go to school by myself. I bought a car, found a room to rent, and scheduled my classes. I didn't know anybody there. I met a lot of people at school and just out in the community (beach, park, etc). I ended up moving back after the semester because I just couldn't handle the work load at the university. After moving back I changed my degree and finished college at a much cheaper price. I also survived a long distance relationship and we are getting married now.

I'd say do it. If it doesn't work out you can always move back. It is great to try new things and you never know what you're missing until you try it. I think I would have made it in Hawaii if I wasn't going to school. Also, like bargoo said you have your aunt and uncle which will also strengthen your relationship with them. Good luck.

04-18-2008, 10:48 PM
I'm from Korea. I came to Michigan because of my ex husband. He was from Michigan, we met while in Korea, he wanted me to move to Michigan while he was in Iraq. So I did. I had no family, no friends. His family was in Michigan but I have never seen them before. Then I moved to Colorado about a year after that all by myself because that's where he was going to be stationed after Iraq. I went there, had no job, knew no one, period. I found a place to rent, found a job, did all the paperworks needed for the immigration and for my ex. Now I'm back to Michigan because we are not together anymore and he wasn't helping with the baby at all. Well, even back here, I found an apartment to rent, found a job, found a daycare, and so on.. with no help. I really don't have friends at all because of school, job, and being a single mom. I really don't have any help because I don't have family here. But I got my chin up and doing it.
I would say do it. If you can't make it and decide to go back, at least you can say you tried. If you don't, you may regret not trying and keep thinking about it...

04-18-2008, 10:52 PM
I moved from NY to WI when I was 18 to live near my sister, and realized after 3 years why I was happy when she left my parent's house :D

But, they were the best 3 years of my life -- my favorite part is that you get to "start over" -- you leave behind how everyone you've grown up with perceives you and can reinvent yourself, it was awesome!!

I loved my three years but, eventually, missed my family too much and moved back but I will never regret the time I spent on my own.

04-19-2008, 01:51 AM
Thanks for your stories, and encouragement! I'm booking my flight this weekend, a one way ticket for now.

and Shelby, that is exactly the reason I need to leave. I live in a small town, and have had the same friends since I was 5. I want to meet new people,and not have them already know something about me, and vice versa.

04-19-2008, 02:52 AM
I have moved over 40 times in 10 U.S. states spread all around. Most times, I didn't know anyone where I was going. I've never been a partier, so just hopping down to bars was never an option. I think a proper mindset will help. You're probably not going to find your new best friend in time to hang out your first weekend. Accept that. Take the time to catch up on reading (in the park, of course, where you might meet folks), hobbies, etc. Dig around and find activities like concerts, fairs, lectures, tours, festivals, guided hikes, cooking classes, volunteer opportunities, outdoor classes, art classes, etc. Around here, most weekends have many activities that I'd enjoy. If you're inclined towards church, find one soon. When you are about town, chat with folks (like the grocery clerk), make small talk, ask about social events, churches, etc. Look for notices of events around town. Once you start to make friends, be the planner. The social planner always gets invited to the events because they're coordinating. :) Take a risk, invite that new friend to that festival in the town an hour away. There's a decent chance they were wanting something to do this Saturday, too. Nothing makes folks like you like liking them. And, be yourself. Don't pretend to be someone else because that's what you think the first people you meet want. If that is what they want, fine, bye, no hurt feelings. Move on and find folks that are like you truly are.

I think your biggest obstacle might actually be your career choice. Depending on the folks you meet, many might work Monday through Friday. Tourism and hospitality often means evenings and weekends. I'm not faulting your career choice, but it might be something to consider when you're job searching. For instance, hospitality in the cafeteria at a Monday through Friday shop would give you more "normal" hours. If you got a job in the catering industry, most of your work would be when everyone else is off!

04-19-2008, 03:34 AM
I'm glad you're taking the chance, I am 19 years old, and after I finish up school next year, I want to move to Toronto. It's only 4 hours from here, but I'd be on my own. I have some family there (but I don't really speak to them) and I have a few friends in Toronto, but ultimately I'd be alone. In life you're always going to have changes, but that's a part of life. If you feel it's ultimately best for you, go for it.

I thought I'd post one of my favourite quotes...

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it.

04-19-2008, 07:33 AM
I moved to England from Calgary at 18 for university on my own. Knew absolutely no one, but at least with university I met people quite quickly. However, as you get working and familiarize yourself with your surroundings, I'm sure you will meet a lot of people too! Moving away from home was one of the best things I ever did, not just because I didn't want to live in my parent's house anymore, but also because it made me mature quickly and made me far more responsible because I had to do stuff myself and couldn't necessarily rely on family or friends if I wanted to go somewhere. I love it, and I highly recommend the experience, so I'm glad you're going for it! If it turns out not to be for you, or not the place for you, you can always go home or try somewhere else! :)