20-Somethings - Chubby Chasers




View Full Version : Chubby Chasers


MCheyenne6
04-17-2008, 06:44 PM
Has anyone had any experiences with men that like "thick" or bigger women? I can't lie to myself, I have big thighs and larger, but muscular calves. My mom is always telling me to wear shirts and dresses in the summer instead of capris. Not only do I feel self conscious but I don't understand how guys may think it's cute. I'm in a relationship so I'm not concerned about the opinions of other men right now, but I just wanted to talk.

My mom swears men love legs like mine, but I'm ashamed. When I am approached by men saying my body is just right, it makes me feel weird. I don't know if I should just take my compliment and be quiet or what? I don't like being hit on period though, so maybe I'm just weird. I can't help but feel insulted.

I guess my problem is two things...the first is that usually these men that love my body are not guys I'm into at all.

Secondly, I worry that I'm only be approached because of my size, not because of me. I mean I don't want someone to just be into me because they like big women ya know?

Any opinions??


CandyKisses0204
04-17-2008, 06:55 PM
Take the compliments and feel good about it. know that you are attractive! and they guys prolly are only coming up to you because of that initial attraction, but think about it the initial attraction is usually how you meet someone in the first place.

MCheyenne6
04-17-2008, 06:58 PM
good point i will need to think about that next time!


witchyonadiet
04-17-2008, 07:00 PM
Everyone has different tastes - you may find someone attractive that your friend thinks is very UNattractive. Dark hair, blonde, tall, short etc - weight is no different - IMHO.

SoyLaBelleza
04-17-2008, 07:02 PM
I love being complimented, but not about things I'm not a huge fan of. Honestly, it creeps me out a little bit if that's the reason someone is attracted to me. And, somewhere in my mind I think "But I'm not going to be like this forever!"

MCheyenne6
04-17-2008, 07:05 PM
I love being complimented, but not about things I'm not a huge fan of. Honestly, it creeps me out a little bit if that's the reason someone is attracted to me. And, somewhere in my mind I think "But I'm not going to be like this forever!"

AHAHA You are so funny!!! I feel exactly the same...like fine, but I don't plan on looking like this for the rest of my life,okay? I feel more normal now!!:o

Amarie2pt0
04-17-2008, 07:39 PM
When I am approached by men saying my body is just right, it makes me feel weird. ... I guess my problem is two things...the first is that usually these men that love my body are not guys I'm into at all.

Secondly, I worry that I'm only be approached because of my size, not because of me.

OK, my 2cents: On the first thing, I can totally relate. I used to feel creeped out by guys that were attracted to me, and think there was something wrong with them. Yeah, that sounds healthy. I wasn't attracted to me, so I couldn't accept someone else being. I'm working on that.

On the second, that is the cry of the female heart - whether pudgy or skinny most women want to be found attractive for who they are, not what they look like. I imagine there are stick-figure girls with huge boobs that feel exactly the same way.

glitterlicious
04-17-2008, 08:06 PM
I love being complimented, but not about things I'm not a huge fan of.

haha I totally agree! If someone appreciates and focuses on something you are self-concious and want to change about yourself, it definetly pushes me away.

MCheyenne6
04-17-2008, 08:20 PM
i feel so normal having joined this group, thank you ladies

kisskiss
04-17-2008, 08:34 PM
I know exactly what you're talking about michelanacc1! i used to think that there was no way guys could like me. but a lot do--they like how i look. which i find very weird. i mean, i have no idea if its a compliment or what. LOL. But, hey I guess I'll take it as a compliment :)

deathnotronic
04-17-2008, 08:46 PM
can you tell me where these guys are? seriously. no guys find me attractive...ever. haha.

SoyLaBelleza
04-17-2008, 09:15 PM
Aw, I think you're beautiful! :D

kaplods
04-17-2008, 09:29 PM
When you date guys who prefer fat chicks, you find that there is the same mix of personalities (nerds, jerks, perverts, and nice guys) and even levels of physical fitness and attractiveness than for guys who prefer the bleached blonde beach bimbo bodies (say that five times fast).

I've been fat most of my life, so the risk of having a guy leave me because I lost weight was a lot slimmer (no pun intended) than the risk of him leaving because I gained weight. So I have dates some guys who prefer bigger gals. I found that most of these guys have a pretty wide set of preference (say a 50 to 100 lb weight range or even more) than did guys with "normal" preferences. So really, who has the fetish?

Still, I definitely wanted a guy who had very flexible standards in that area. So how do you find them? You have to actively hunt for them (they hide under rocks, I'm convinced). I put an ad in our local newspaper (and their online site) personals. Replies went to a voicemail system. In the ad, I described myself not just personality wise (saying how great I was) but also my physical stats, and stated I was trying to lose weight and was looking for someone who was in the same situation or sympathetic to it. I also put a 3/4 length photo on the website.

Through the ad, I received alot of replies from a wide range of guys, including my husband. He's a big guy himself, but I found him very attractive, in a biker-viking sort of way (he had and still has long auburn hair). Apparently a lot of skinny girls do too (especially asian girls for some reason). At least the asian girls are polite. Once an asian waitress, asked him (the hope in her voice was obvious) if I was his sister, and she was obviously disappointed when he corrected her. The skinny b(well never mind) though will come on to him while we're together, obviously thinking that he's going to instantly dump the fat girlfriend (now wife) for them.

My husband has dated, and is attracted to women of all sizes. I've seen photos of some of the other women he's dated, and they've all had very beautiful faces (I hope that says something about me) but the bodies have ranged from "hot" to, well, me. I'm definitely the biggest, though his girlfriend before me was over 200 lbs.

He's been supportive of my weight loss efforts, but promises that I don't have to lose weight for him to be happy, and early on made it clear that he wasn't interested in weight loss for himself. However, he's since become disabled due primarily to a degenerative joint condition (inherited, not caused, but aggravated by his weight), and been been diagnosed type II diabetic, so we're now losing weight together.

I obviously don't regret not waiting until I was at my ideal body weight to date, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else. There are so many things that fat can prevent me from doing (like running up a flight of stairs), that I've vowed to not let it prevent me from doing anything I can do (like swim, bicycle...) even if I'm afraid. I don't believe in postponing life for anything.

SoyLaBelleza
04-17-2008, 09:41 PM
I'm not saying anything against guys who like bigger women... I know we all have our preferences. But, for me, I really do not like being fat and I don't feel comfortable if someone likes something I dislike so much about myself!

jayohwhy
04-17-2008, 10:38 PM
i think i agree with the others in saying that no matter what size the woman, the hangups are still there. even when you get skinny, you are going to find things that you don't like about yourself!

i was watching this trainer talk [on run's house], and she said that the first step is to love yourself! it's a matter of "***, i love you, but you gotta go"... i'm sure that you more attractive than you are giving yourself credit for!

Halichick
04-17-2008, 10:56 PM
can you tell me where these guys are? seriously. no guys find me attractive...ever. haha.

I think you're beautiful :)

I feel the same way as you guys do, I refuse to wear anything but pants. (I have large, muscular calves and thunder thighs lol)

My hubby loves the fact that I have a big booty, he told me to make sure I keep it after I lose 100 lbs. :D

Rayelle
04-18-2008, 03:47 AM
Take the compliments and feel good about it. know that you are attractive! and they guys prolly are only coming up to you because of that initial attraction, but think about it the initial attraction is usually how you meet someone in the first place.

Agreed!

Scarlett
04-18-2008, 01:21 PM
I semi-recently had a hookup with a guy who was my height, maybe an inch taller and a rail....he was in the marines and did not have an ounce of fat on his body. Anyway he kept touching my flabby stomach and was breathing heavy and stuff...I could tell he really liked it. For whatever reason I was not turned on at all and felt a little self conscious...My stomach is really the only area on my body that I don't like guys to touch. I don't know if he likes all chubby girls or just me but the whole thing really freaked me out.

MCheyenne6
04-18-2008, 02:41 PM
Catherine999

Were'nt you just confused like huh? eww why? I dated an army guy who was skinny as all ****, but loved and i mean LOVED him some big girls. I did not get it and when he cheated on me it was for even bigger girls and I just did not get it:?:

Scarlett
04-18-2008, 05:32 PM
thats too funny...to be honest I found it kind of uncomfortable to cuddle with him because he was so lean...maybe after all that sleeping in the dirt they like to cuddle with a girl with a little extra cushion. I don't know, overall I like tough guys, maybe if he wasn't as creepy about it, things would have been better.

peachcake
04-18-2008, 05:59 PM
This thread is cracking me up. I have heard that some men are attracted to biggers girls because they show robust health and are more likely to produce healthy offspring, and this is their animal instinct. I think it's just personal preference though. A lot of guys go for bigger girls because they're not stuck up little brats like some of the girls who have been skinny all their lives.

Shy Moment
04-18-2008, 06:09 PM
Mechelin
I kind of smiled when I read the title of this thread. My son is 21 years old and a very nice looking young man. He is in pretty good shape. I take very little credit in this ( he does look like me a bit ). His father and I got together, produced a child and my wonderful ( drives me crazy ) son looks how he looks. He has ALWAYS loved big woman. I am not talking woman who are 10 pounds over weight. I am talking this man loves big woman. He says more to love. Most of his life I was on the small side so it isn't that he sees mom or anything like that. We talked about this one day. My son said he doesn't like thin woman. They don't eat and they look like a strong wind would blow them over. He thinks bigger woman smile with their eyes and not their teeth. He has dated a few thin girls, he has dated a few well built, weigh what they should weigh girls. Generally he dates girls that are at least 50 to 100 pounds over weight. He asked me if this was ok. I said Darling, as long as a person is healthy. Can a person really be healthy being 100 pounds over weight? There is nothing wrong with a persons size. Weight is like eye color, we each like different things.

Thought I might add. He is dateing a girl now who is very nice. She is probably at least 60 pounds over weight. I think she wears a 24. They went shopping and she was talking about wanting to lose weight. She showed him pant sizes and was talking about this is bigger than she is and this is smaller. I thought she was going to die laughing when she told me about how she showed him a pair of size 18 pants and he said well that was a bit thin but he would be ok with her getting that small. I just smiled. I told him I wore an 18 before I started to lose weight. He said MOM there was nothing wrong with you. You lose another pound and you are going to be a stick like you use to be lol. I said oh you said the other day I am not as fat as I use to be. I thought that was nice of you. He gave me a look and said MOTHER I was not saying that in a good way.

deathnotronic
04-18-2008, 06:43 PM
Mechelin
I kind of smiled when I read the title of this thread. My son is 21 years old and a very nice looking young man. He is in pretty good shape. I take very little credit in this ( he does look like me a bit ). His father and I got together, produced a child and my wonderful ( drives me crazy ) son looks how he looks. He has ALWAYS loved big woman. I am not talking woman who are 10 pounds over weight. I am talking this man loves big woman. He says more to love. Most of his life I was on the small side so it isn't that he sees mom or anything like that. We talked about this one day. My son said he doesn't like thin woman. They don't eat and they look like a strong wind would blow them over. He thinks bigger woman smile with their eyes and not their teeth. He has dated a few thin girls, he has dated a few well built, weigh what they should weigh girls. Generally he dates girls that are at least 50 to 100 pounds over weight. He asked me if this was ok. I said Darling, as long as a person is healthy. Can a person really be healthy being 100 pounds over weight? There is nothing wrong with a persons size. Weight is like eye color, we each like different things.

Thought I might add. He is dateing a girl now who is very nice. She is probably at least 60 pounds over weight. I think she wears a 24. They went shopping and she was talking about wanting to lose weight. She showed him pant sizes and was talking about this is bigger than she is and this is smaller. I thought she was going to die laughing when she told me about how she showed him a pair of size 18 pants and he said well that was a bit thin but he would be ok with her getting that small. I just smiled. I told him I wore an 18 before I started to lose weight. He said MOM there was nothing wrong with you. You lose another pound and you are going to be a stick like you use to be lol. I said oh you said the other day I am not as fat as I use to be. I thought that was nice of you. He gave me a look and said MOTHER I was not saying that in a good way.

ahem. number plz? :)

but what about the other way around? what kind of guys are you attracted to? i personally LOVE bigger guys. not like morbidly obese but i'm kinda...sorta "hanging out" (we'll put it that way) with a bigger guy. he's so cute lol and i love that he actually has some meat on his bones. that tummy is sexy! haha.

sunback
04-18-2008, 07:46 PM
ahem. number plz? :)

but what about the other way around? what kind of guys are you attracted to? i personally LOVE bigger guys. not like morbidly obese but i'm kinda...sorta "hanging out" (we'll put it that way) with a bigger guy. he's so cute lol and i love that he actually has some meat on his bones. that tummy is sexy! haha.

deathnotronic - I completely agree with you!! I don't want a thin man... partlly, I'm sure, because I don't want to feel bigger than him. BUT I love a man with a little meat, along with muscle, on his bones! My hubby is definitely that way. Side note - I also love BALD men! LOL :D
(OK, that makes me sound kinda creepy - like I love bald, fat men! LMAO)

deathnotronic
04-18-2008, 08:26 PM
i love fat and hairy guys! hahahaha!

ShannanA
04-18-2008, 08:32 PM
DH likes chunky girls (size 12-16) provided they are proportioned and don't have a sloppy stomach. I think he just likes big boobs and usually larger women have them LOL He's not attracted to the thin/athletic type. Even at a size 6 though I was very curvaceous (36-28-38) although he was disappointed that my boobs shrunk down to a c cup. I liked it though because I could pull off not wearing a bra.

Moni28
04-19-2008, 06:47 AM
ahem. number plz? :)

but what about the other way around? what kind of guys are you attracted to? i personally LOVE bigger guys. not like morbidly obese but i'm kinda...sorta "hanging out" (we'll put it that way) with a bigger guy. he's so cute lol and i love that he actually has some meat on his bones. that tummy is sexy! haha.

I like bigger guys myself! I dont feel like i'm going break him!!!!! I think even when (if) i get smaller i'd still prefer bigger guys! There is just something really sexy about them!

Smiling_Sara
04-19-2008, 12:42 PM
If a guy told me my body looked great, I have no idea what I would say. I am 29, and no guy has ever told me I had a great body. :(

SephyFowl
04-19-2008, 02:39 PM
I'm going to jump in on this also! My XDH always hated when I would start to lose weight because he didn't like "skinny" girls. He has always dated bigger women and he is 5'9 and MAYBE MAYBE 145 soaking wet.. He is TINY and in the military so he is lean and muscular. I don't know what it was with him. He just liked it.. I think some guys just like that when they cuddle, grab, hold onto when bumping uglies, that they have something there and not just bone.
I dont' remember who wrote it but I giggled a little when I read, "It creeped me out." I used to be like don't touch my stomach when XDH would cuddle and that's exactly how I felt..

As for what kind of guys I'm attracted to. I go for the athletic guys since I *USED* to be athletic and a gymnast.. Just something I suppose I had in common and now my tastes haven't changed. I am attracted physically to a guy that has sex arrows and not big, but stocked.(if that doesnt' make sense to anyone I'll explain.. Y'know when you see a guy and they are big, but its not flabby big.. That's what I mean) As for personality I love a man who can make me laugh and that can stimulate me intelluctually.

Shy Moment
04-19-2008, 04:06 PM
Moni, death
Me too, I have always liked kegs instead of 6 packs lol.

Sun
Oh my gosh I think bald is soooooooo sexy lol.

death
Hairy to an extent is great. Now mind you, I don't want the man to look like an ape but hair is good lol.

KateRN
04-19-2008, 08:22 PM
my boyfriend gained 40lbs since we met - he is now around 220-230... 5'10" - i love it! i dont like feeling like i can break my man!

Fairy Sarah
04-22-2008, 07:47 AM
My boyfriend always jokes that he likes big girls.....

Really he likes tall, slim girls, he is a sucked for nice legs, and boobs....

Me? Im short, kinda chubby, have big strong thighs and calves, short legs, am a 30 B (read: flat chested!). And he loves me anyway!

I reckon it doesn't matter what a guy *likes* because in the end, if he likes you thats all that matters!

MadameZombie
04-22-2008, 09:13 AM
My boyfriend loves my body but I never thought it was something to be too crazy over. It took me a while to accept myself and want to do something to change.

Is he a chubby chaser? I don't think so... I'm a little thick.... But he loves that I don't look like a porn star or an anorexic chick.


I think that you should show off your legs! My mother use to criticize me for being overweight or for being a teenager and having breakouts!

NightengaleShane
04-22-2008, 08:14 PM
Oh, this is an interesting topic!

At my HW, I encountered a few VERY attractive chubby chasers. One of them looked like a younger version of Gary Dourdan (Warrick from CSI...:D) and said, "I KNOW you have a GORGEOUS, JUICY fat *** under those baggy pants." He kept telling me all about how he thought I was so hot and loved my "natural, healthy, curvy figure." I personally think I have a natural, healthy, curvy figure NOW - back then, I was just FAT :lol:

The other chubby chaser was a total metrosexual prettyboy type. I was pretty surprised to see that someone so hot and obviously vain was hitting on me :eek:. I live in a shallow college town where a lot of guys are obsessed with appearances and seem to only like thin/skinny girls. We got into a conversation once and he said (like Shy Moment's son, who also thought I was sexy at my HW :lol:), "I don't like girls with no meat on their bones. They look like they're going to tip over. I don't know why you want to lose weight; you look SO good the way you are. I love plus sized women and honestly, I don't think you'd be as pretty if you lost more weight."

Any time I actually bothered to make myself look good at my HW (I was frumpy for the majority of the time) and a guy hit on me, I'd think, "Wow, you're either a chubby chaser or you have no standards."

But seriously, a lot of guys don't care as much about our weight as we think they do. Many don't even pay close attention to it unless you point it out.

As for what I like?
I'm bisexual and I have different standards for each gender. I'm not too particular on a woman's size, as long as she is proportionate and has a pretty face. A little overweight is fine, as is a little under. I don't like emaciated and I don't like morbidly obese, but anything in the middle is great.

Men, on the other hand, usually can't pull off carrying extra weight because it all goes into the gut. There have been a few mildly overweight men who I've found attractive, but I mostly like a medium frame with some muscle tone. My preferences are the same now as they've always been regardless of my weight and I've always had this little rule of "I can't be with a guy who weighs less than I do" though that was obviously a bit different at 175 than it is at 125... ;)

OH OH... and yes, DO show off your legs! :D

BrandNewJen
04-23-2008, 10:48 AM
I have always liked bigger guys... probably because it made ME feel more comfortable. I like 'em tall and beefy... not disgustingly overweight... just meaty. A belly is fine, but they have to be STRONG too.

Perfect example: A lot of those men on the World's Strongest Man competition. Big guys who wear an XXL but are STRONG. They don't have 6 packs... but they're MANLY Men. ya know?

My hubby is 6'4", about 290, and is pretty well proportioned. His belly's getting a little big, so we're working on losing weight together. I don't even really care about the big belly, I just want him to get healthy, better his stamina, and get some muscles in his arms. Him staying "big" in the belly is fine with me. Oh, and he's bald with a goatee. It's funny b/c when I was a junior in highschool I was in LOVE LOVE LOVE with Bill Goldberg, the wrestler b/c he was big, bald, and with a goatee. Few years later I meet my husband, and everyone I knew was like "hey!!! You met your own Goldberg!"

http://www.usatoday.com/life/gallery/wrestling/bill-goldberg.jpg

twentysixpoint2
04-23-2008, 11:05 AM
My ex bf was a "chubby chaser" that got defiant and mean when I lost weight... Which makes me wonder about chubby chasers in general as I think his wanting to be with a heavy woman had more to do with control and wasn't necessarily attraction. He was insecure and figured the odds of a large girl being approached and/or leaving him was less likely.

My guy now abhors overweight women (his ex wife turned into one from playing WoW and eating pizza). He tries to pass off that he finds me attractive (mostly because I moan about it) but I know he wishes I was thinner.

As for what I'm attracted to, for some reason I've always found myself with fairly tall, average guys. I don't think body composition is as important to women as it is men.

Matilda08
04-23-2008, 12:41 PM
Lots of guys like thick or bigger woman I am always being told I am not fat and so on and so forth but its more about what I feel and I need to lose weight its just not healthy for my height and I want to live better and feel better so I can relate! Hopefully we all get to a point where we are comfy about our bodies!.........

kaplods
04-23-2008, 12:49 PM
I'm not sure the reasons are much different for a guy who reacts badly to their lady gaining weight than a guy who reacts badly to her for losing it. For whatever reason, the package was more important than the woman.

I also think the reasons for being attracted to different "types" of women is very broad. Some may believe that a fat woman is easier to control, while others may be attracted to large ladies because their ideal woman is modeled after the women who took care of them in their early life (mother, grandmother...). I remember a study in college that found that men tend to date (and even more tend to marry) women that are physically similar to their mother during their early years (so even if mom is thin now, if she was fat when he was small, his "ideal" woman is likely to be big).

So are preferences instinctual "imprinting," or is it a matter of complex psychological factors? Probably, it depends on the individual.

twentysixpoint2
04-23-2008, 01:22 PM
I'm not sure the reasons are much different for a guy who reacts badly to their lady gaining weight than a guy who reacts badly to her for losing it. For whatever reason, the package was more important than the woman.

Well, people are shallow. I guess you'll have that.

ShannanA
04-23-2008, 01:30 PM
I have always liked bigger guys... probably because it made ME feel more comfortable. I like 'em tall and beefy... not disgustingly overweight... just meaty. A belly is fine, but they have to be STRONG too.
[/IMG]

I prefer smaller guys. DH is 5'10 and 150 lbs. He is slightly muscular with a small bone frame.

Taylor86
04-23-2008, 02:56 PM
My man is a swimmer and at 6'1" I am guessing he weights 180.

He is very lean but does have this little belly which I love! To me it means he can drink a beer and have a burger and relax once in awhile. Plus, it makes a very nice pillow for napping.

He is not a big fan of tiny girls - and it's not the looks but the attitude that comes with it. He calls them the "oH mY GaWd!" girls.

I know he is a fan of my curves (esp. my legs which is odd because I never thought they were "cute" at all) but supports me in my weigh-loss. I think secretly he knows that no matter how thin I get I always be curvy because that my natural build.