20-Somethings - Loving uber "helpful" thin people right about now *rolls eyes*




prepping
04-17-2008, 04:25 PM
Does anyone else here find it absolutely wonderful how skinny people love to critique diets??
Okay so the cat is out of the bag today at work that I'm*GASP* ON a DiET!!! Suddenly the fact that I'm having a turkey wrap with lots of yummy veggies and cottage cheese is the worst thing for me. Wha? Apparently when the word 'diet' comes into play it means I must be starving myself and not taking in all the good things that the body needs. The fact that I'm having apple cider vinegar and olive oil on my salad rather than full fat ranch is another step in the wrong direction. So I have a crowd of thin women of all ages around me giving all their helpful tidbits of information to get me through this "tough" time. Did I mention that they're all a foot shorter and size 0-6? yep, that helps. :p

My question is, where are all the tsks and concerned talks when someone's eating a plate of office goodies that include everything from doughnuts to icing covered danishes to sticks of lard? (actually, no lard... but might as well be.) :)


vixjean
04-17-2008, 04:36 PM
luckily I don't have anyone talking directly to me about that stuff, if they do I just turn away and ignore them.
But I hear them giving diet advise to each other, and I just roll my eyes and keep quite to myself. I heard someone say that I was starving myself because I had a half a sandwich for lunch, then I turned and corrected them saying, No I had a half a sandwich and soup and coffee and water and fruit, so that is NOT starving myself. Of course this is coming from people who are not looking at what they eat at all. LOL.

glitterlicious
04-17-2008, 04:42 PM
dude I hear ya.

Most of my friends are about 5'2"-5'6" and size 6 and under. I tell them I'm going on a diet and they're all trying to nice and be like "Christine don't you don't need to you're soo skinny" or telling me I'm starving myself.

First of all, yes I need to. You might cry because you're not fitting into your size 0's that day (I actually have had a friend in tears come to me with this dilemma). Well I'm wearing friggen size 18's. And second of all, eating a salad instead of fries is a healthy choice, not starving myself.

I do love my friends, but they are often give misguided advice.


jillybean720
04-17-2008, 04:45 PM
ha, for me, I usually feel kinda the other way around. I know SO much about health and nutrition that when people talk about it around the office, I try to add my 2 cents, but I almost feel like they'll roll their eyes at the fat girl giving healthy eating advice, ya know?

It's quite hilarious what some people think is healthy. It's sad how many people are really clueless about it all.

prepping
04-17-2008, 04:53 PM
Girlicious: see, as a fellow height-endowed woman, I know exactly what you mean. Have you gotten the "you're not big, you're just tall".... riiight... have you seen me naked? cuz I have and I know that my dimples aren't just on my face. ;)

I just find that as I'm trying to lose weight the right way, it means that I live and breathe health and nutrition. I'm by no means an expert but I try to take as much knowledge from the experts as possible. Some people seem to go out of their way to be negative about it.

I think they're just jealous. ;)

PinkyPie
04-17-2008, 04:56 PM
:lol: I so know what you mean!

the other day, I was told that I should start my day off with coffee (which I do anyway) and then eat NOTHING but fruit until lunch time. Oh and that I should not drink any coffee again until AFTER lunch, that it screws up the digestion of the fruit. WTF?????? Seriously. I just nodded politely and said afterwards, "I'm sorry, but that's just not going to work for me, but I appreciate your concern".

TheWalrus
04-17-2008, 04:58 PM
Hello fellow tall folks:

One bonus -- that's also a negative -- for us is that in my experience, the weight doesn't show up as much as if we were shorter, so the littler folks don't necessary realize what we've got going on. Of course, that doesn't make it any of their business...:) Hang in there!

SoyLaBelleza
04-17-2008, 05:22 PM
jillybean720, I totally feel ya there. Practical application seems to be my downfall. :lol:

graciegoose13
04-17-2008, 05:29 PM
Does anyone else here find it absolutely wonderful how skinny people love to critique diets??
Okay so the cat is out of the bag today at work that I'm*GASP* ON a DiET!!! Suddenly the fact that I'm having a turkey wrap with lots of yummy veggies and cottage cheese is the worst thing for me. Wha? Apparently when the word 'diet' comes into play it means I must be starving myself and not taking in all the good things that the body needs. The fact that I'm having apple cider vinegar and olive oil on my salad rather than full fat ranch is another step in the wrong direction. So I have a crowd of thin women of all ages around me giving all their helpful tidbits of information to get me through this "tough" time. Did I mention that they're all a foot shorter and size 0-6? yep, that helps. :p

My question is, where are all the tsks and concerned talks when someone's eating a plate of office goodies that include everything from doughnuts to icing covered danishes to sticks of lard? (actually, no lard... but might as well be.) :)


I hate this too! I've found the best way to avoid this is not to say that evil word (:lol:) "diet" around people. Usually I just tell people that I'm trying to eat in a healthier way, which is pretty much the same thing just put in a more people-friendly way!

Glory87
04-17-2008, 06:33 PM
Heh - I'm a size 6...of course I'm a successful dieter who lost 70 lbs and kept it off for 3 years. I moved recently and no one at my new job knows I used to be fat. Would you take my diet advice ;)

I really don't think diet advice should be offered unless ASKED - but - some skinny people might actually work to BE skinny and STAY skinny and might have some useful advice. For example, a little healthy fat in your salad dressing helps your body absorb all the nutrients.

But, if you didn't ask for advice, they should BUTT OUT.

bargoo
04-17-2008, 06:47 PM
I avoid comments from the diet police by not telling them I am on a diet.





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raiatheplaya
04-17-2008, 07:34 PM
"have you seen me naked? cuz I have and I know that my dimples aren't just on my face"

preppingbride..you are hilarious! I laughed so hard when I read this.

mrsaugie
04-17-2008, 07:39 PM
when people do that to me i now they only mean well but they still do not have all the facts like how i am doing it. mainly through portion control and exercise.

bjeweled
04-17-2008, 07:45 PM
i think its somewhat jealousy as well. I am not quite 6 foot but I am pretty tall and ppl are always like yr fine u look great. no one believes how much i weigh lol.
ummmm all my pants are wearing thin at the thigh from rubbing together thats not great!
i learned not to say anything just start remarkably looking skinnier lol.
then say" oh it just came off i havent been doing anything in particular" :p

Lyria
04-17-2008, 07:50 PM
I'm in the same boat as Glory - I'm now a size 4-6 but have been that way now for a good few years through hard work. I lost about 50 pounds. However no one at my work has any idea that I was quite "chubby" at one point so I doubt they take any notice if and when I give advice.

I have kind of learnt not to actually - if someone asks me directly I'll help them otherwise I'm a lead by example girl. Always have my own lunch, don't eat junk snacks and I get changed at work to go to the gym in the evenings so I prance about in my work out gear for awhile lol. That usually inspires the others to do the "oh...maybe I should join the gym" thing...never happens :P

junebug41
04-17-2008, 07:52 PM
Boy, am I glad I work in a town that is super granola/green/veggie oriented where the vegetarians *almost* outnumber the Prius'... at least I'm allowed to eat in peace.

griffogrubb
04-17-2008, 08:01 PM
I love it when someone who has never dieted a day in their life tries to give me diet advice, it's great. And then after lecturing me they go and grab a jelly donut...sigh. Just smile and ignore it, then at least they'll feel good about themselves and you can still go merrily on with your diet ways.

glitterlicious
04-17-2008, 08:01 PM
Haha I have heard the whole "you're not big you're just tall" thing tooooo many times.

Well I'm big AND tall. I like being tall, I just don't like being big. Thank goodness that is the one thing I can change.

Rayelle
04-18-2008, 04:03 AM
dude I hear ya.

Most of my friends are about 5'2"-5'6" and size 6 and under. I tell them I'm going on a diet and they're all trying to nice and be like "Christine don't you don't need to you're soo skinny" or telling me I'm starving myself.

First of all, yes I need to. You might cry because you're not fitting into your size 0's that day (I actually have had a friend in tears come to me with this dilemma). Well I'm wearing friggen size 18's. And second of all, eating a salad instead of fries is a healthy choice, not starving myself.

I do love my friends, but they are often give misguided advice.


Same here!! I hate it when they come to me with their delima of 'oh i had to go up to a size 2' Like I really care!!!

taragettingthin
04-18-2008, 04:26 AM
When I was in high school, I had a friend who was from Greece. She wore junior size 0 and sometimes even that was too big. One day, I asked where she wanted to go eat for lunch and that I was thinking about going to the BK. (we went to school on U.S. army base in Italy...so during lunch, we could pretty much go anywhere...) She said "I'm just going to get a yogurt because I'm on a diet." !!!!!!!!!!!!!! At this time, I think I weighed about 180-190? I don't know, we didn't have a scale at home. Anyways..so I said "WHAT? If you are going on a diet, then I AM, TOO!!!!!!!!" She then told me that we can go get the BK because I don't need to go on a diet, as I wasn't fat or big at all!!!
Well, I know she didn't mean anything bad by it, but still...
So I know exactly what you mean.

Mystikal
04-18-2008, 06:07 AM
I go through this with my Mam. She is a uk size 8 and is always telling me that she needs to lose weight while I am struggling. But in the next breath she can tell me not to lose to much even though I need too. It really grates on me. it's like she's making it into a competition when I have enough difficulty as it is.

The piece of advice she never tires from giving is that she just has a biscuit for breakfast then her tea. So when she knows that I'm supposed to have a proper breakfast and lunch she always tells me she doesn't know how I can eat so much. it doesn't matter to her that it's healthier. GRRRR and when I go there she is always offering me biscuits or chocolate never anything else and saying that it wont matter. I take my lunch there with me now.

Good job she's my Mam...

Katheryne
04-18-2008, 08:20 AM
The people at my work don't exactly give dieting advice, but they do like to tell me what I'm "allowed" to eat. Most times that bothers me more than people trying to give advice.

I passed a co-worker yesterday who had gotten take-out burgers for lunch, and I said "that smells good" and I walked by in the hall. She turned around and said "yes, and it's delicious, but YOU'RE not allowed to have any because you're on a DIET." It actually made me really angry, I told her that I was "allowed" to eat whatever I wanted, and it was a choice not to put fast food in my body. Grr.

orthodiva
04-18-2008, 09:47 AM
I understand what you are going through. We had plenty of girls like that when I was in grad school. Luckily, right now I work with a bunch of guys who are so focused on feeding themselves, they don't really notice what I'm eating or doing. The one girl who works with me is of the 6 ft-size 0 variety (maybe she's a size 2, she has been complaining about her thighs recently). She gives me dieting tips but to her credit, some of them have actually been helpful and have made me look into some foods I had not eaten consistently before.

prepping
04-18-2008, 12:23 PM
Nice to see I'm not alone on this! I take it light-hearted enough really. People will really give advice on anything from diets to finances to what's the best herbal medication to get rid of a nasty feminine itching problem (not that I have been the recipient of that last tid-bit).
What I have found is that "eating healthy" isn't a good enough excuse anymore because you'll still have that piece of pizza or doughnuts or whatever still shoved in your face because "you're not fat"... so I use a scapegoat -- "a girl's gotta watch her bridal figure to fit in that wedding dress!".... people tend to miraculously zip up after that.
Eating healthy = bad.
Crazy obsessive bride = understandable.

btw, starting your RRSPs as early as possible is a great long-term investment strategy to go along with a well-balanced life and health insurance plan and Xian-Xian Chinese Herbal Feminine Wash will take care of that itch in no time... but you may have desire to eat large quantities of chinese food afterwards which wouldn't go well for any diet plan.

QueenBee3
04-18-2008, 01:42 PM
Unless advice is requested, it should not be given. Especially, in such a sensitive issue. I two different kinds of skinny aquaintences, the ones who are liars and tell me I don't need to lose weight (skinny heifers!! LOL), and my skinny the ones who nod sympathetically and say "Good for you!". I much prefer the honest ones, but that doesn't mean I need their advice.

mrsaugie
04-18-2008, 07:07 PM
i have a few more words of wisdom. this is something a friend told me a few years ago.

Nothing can get to you unless you let it.

Lovely
04-18-2008, 07:13 PM
I actually don't mind taking advice from anyone (regardless of what they look like) as long as the advice makes sense... or they can give me reference information.

I mean... it has to be given the right way, of course. Someone can't just point to my food and go "That's unhealthy... blah blah blah." (Because that's all I'll hear of whatever else comes out of their mouth. ;))

But if they bring up the subject of health or food in general, and talk about what they've heard it can be interesting... and of course, sometimes humorous!

LittleBigGirl
04-18-2008, 09:09 PM
One bonus -- that's also a negative -- for us is that in my experience, the weight doesn't show up as much as if we were shorter, so the littler folks don't necessary realize what we've got going on.

God I hear you sister. I'm 6 ft tall and a size 26 but because I'm so tall I was able to fool myself about my weight until I hit a size 22. Sigh.

Plus I work with professional actors/dancers... I tower over the men. In pictures I take up the same space as three of them:o. Needles to say I'm not a fan of pictures. And some of them have the worst eating habits I've ever seen. Not most but some. Company parties make me feel like Godzilla trying not to step on all the little screaming people.;)

ShannanA
04-18-2008, 09:15 PM
I think a lot of time, people like to give diet tips because they want you to succeed and want to be part of that success.

PinkyPie
04-19-2008, 05:42 AM
I think the whole point is, IF I ask, then GREAT! But if I haven't asked you for your advice, just because you know I'm trying to lose weight before my wedding (not only for that reason), doesn't mean you can give me advice. I am very open to sound advice and talking about food finds and nutrition. But the person who told me that I should avoid coffee and only eat fruit in the morning... I'm not so sure about her. She DID lose about 100lbs in 3 months. I am very sorry and don't mean to offend, but I don't want to take advice from someone who lost weight unhealthily (she says herself she did it unhealthily) and someone who also doesn't eat normally now (she only eats "soft" food and candy!!).

Lovely
04-19-2008, 03:37 PM
I don't want to take advice from someone who lost weight unhealthily (she says herself she did it unhealthily) and someone who also doesn't eat normally now (she only eats "soft" food and candy!!).

I don't think there's anything wrong with avoiding that sort of advice. Heck, she practically says it's unhealthy advice!

chickybird
04-19-2008, 05:22 PM
I'm 6 feet tall. I am glad I'm not the only one who is SICK of hearing people say, "but you're so tall! You don't need to lose weight."
I like what one poster said about seeing yourself naked, and not liking the dimples. I'm gonna use that, lol!

TheWalrus
04-19-2008, 09:30 PM
Company parties make me feel like Godzilla trying not to step on all the little screaming people.;)
That is just the most awesome quote. I feel the same way when I'm in any group situation!!! Like Gulliver -- I feel like I have to sit very still so I don't knock them all down...

that1girl
04-20-2008, 02:11 AM
oh oh oh oh i HAVE to get in on this question!

i cant stand when skinny people, who didnt have to do any work to get that way, give dieting advice. almost as much as i hate when they call themselves fat... as im desperately trying to avoid putting butter on my toast (i love it with peanut butter now instead!) when i was skinny (a brief 2 yr period) i would give advice by saying, "well i just lost 50 lbs by doing this... maybe this would work for you." or "well when i started to change my diet, i read about this..." i never say im dieting. i say im watching what i eat or trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle. try to argue that! ever hear of crash lifestyling? NO!

heres another "fun" situation: i work in an office with a group of women, various ages, that are all over weight and unfit. theyre favorite game on their cigerette breaks is to make fun of me and brag about how UN-healthy they eat, how hard it is to eat healthy. my old boss loves to make disparaging comments about the "weird" foods i eat. she feels it is her duty to comment on anything i eat that looks different. i stopped bringing hummas and anything with spinach to work and often take a late lunch so i can hide my food because i dont want to hear the comments Schwans comes to our office every other week. one week one of the girls was looking through the catalogue and pointed out some pizzas she thought looked good. the driver/delivery guy said, "oh thats the healthy line" and she said, "healthy? oh ew! no no no i dont DO healthy. i cant feed my kids healthy food" yeah... we can see that. and yes she actually said she CANT feed her kids healthy food. not they WONT eat it, she just CANT do it.

so basically... i hate when naturally skinny people who havent taken any time to study nutrition try to put in their two cents. and i hate when overweight people get jealous and feel threatened by someone trying to better themselves so they need to tear that person down.

veggielover
04-20-2008, 01:55 PM
Hello fellow tall folks:

One bonus -- that's also a negative -- for us is that in my experience, the weight doesn't show up as much as if we were shorter, so the littler folks don't necessary realize what we've got going on. Of course, that doesn't make it any of their business...:) Hang in there!



Actually, a lot of short people with small frames tend to appear heftier with the same weight gain respective to a smaller person. A 5-lb gain on a person with a small frame and petite height seems more apparent than a person with a tall, larger frame.

On another note, being a thin and small person, my way of dealing with ladies who diet and are of bigger sizes is to not say anything at all, but it's funny. You'd think that your coworkers wouldnt care if you didn't say anything at all. My larger coworkers always have to say things like, "Do you eat anything at all?", or if I get fried chicken and ask everyone out of courtesy whether or not they'd like some, not only do some interpret my courtesy as "sabotaging their diets" but would also turn around and say "oh, sure, you can have some, youre thin!"

:( I guess my being thin means that the rest of the world is entitled to cast their judgement and assumptions on me to make it fair.

3Beans
04-20-2008, 02:34 PM
On another note, being a thin and small person, my way of dealing with ladies who diet and are of bigger sizes is to not say anything at all, but it's funny. You'd think that your coworkers wouldnt care if you didn't say anything at all. My larger coworkers always have to say things like, "Do you eat anything at all?", or if I get fried chicken and ask everyone out of courtesy whether or not they'd like some, not only do some interpret my courtesy as "sabotaging their diets" but would also turn around and say "oh, sure, you can have some, youre thin!"

:( I guess my being thin means that the rest of the world is entitled to cast their judgement and assumptions on me to make it fair.

I have to support Veggielover here. Although I'm certainly not a thin person (yet!) there does seem to be acceptance here of judging/bashing people at healthy weights. Shouldn't those of us who know what it's like to be judged based on our body size avoid doing that? And anyway, isn't our collective goal to achieve a healthy weight?

Bad advice is simply bad advice - no matter who's dishing it out. And no one should be encroaching your right and privacy to feed yourself as you see fit. But by suggesting that they're doing so because they're "skinny" is enabling the culture of judging women based on their bodies rather than their words and deeds.

rockstar87
04-20-2008, 02:45 PM
It's funny because last summer at work we were all sitting around talking about "diets" and working out during one of our breaks and I made one suggestion to this girl about how she could improve the effectiveness of her workouts. This girl was by no means overweight (a little bottom heavy, if that) and I was at least 50lbs overweight at the time I gave her the advice. She came back two weeks later and said it was great advice and she'd noticed a huge change in her workouts. If she'd not taken my advice because I was "fat" she wouldn't have noticed the change.

I'm not saying this to toot my own horn or anything (:D) but I really don't think it matters who gives the advice as long as its sound advice. Lots of heavy people are trying to lose weight in unhealthy ways and lots of thin people eat badly but there's also those who are well versed in the subject of healthy living and can probably give very valuable advice. That being said, if it's not coming up in the conversation there's no need to bring it up. Some people are set in their ways and have their own system of eating and working out to try to achieve/maintain their ideal weight and there's nothing wrong with that. They may just not want to hear it... :)