100 lb. Club - Learning to take a complement
04-17-2008, 01:34 AM
So today I got two complements on my haircut. I was so startled! :o This should have made my day but I'm so not used to complements that I spluttered, and stuttered out something self deprecating and got embarrassed both times!!! It wasn't till I got home tonight that the warm happy feeling kicked in. Even then it was tempered by the embarrassment :(. I really need to learn to how to respond to people saying positive things about me because I'm determined to have it happen more in the future as I lose weight. :?: Any suggestions? Commiseration?
04-17-2008, 04:44 AM
Taking compliments is really hard for me too. BUT... :) it's something we can learn to do. Try to remember when someone says something nice to just take it for what it is and say THANK YOU with a smile. It will feel fake at first, but the more you do it, the more natural it will come.
My DF compliments me all the time and it makes me feel uneasy... he can see this and then he says "This is the part where you say 'thank you'" and then I realise that it's really OK to TAKE the nice things and stop being so self-depreciating!
As someone told me very recently... "Fake it 'til you make it" - and really, this works!
(would love to see your new haircut by the way ;) )
04-17-2008, 04:54 AM
Same thing used to happen to me, well it still does to a much lesser degree... but at least you are way ahead of where I was, because I didn´t realize that I couldn´t take a compliment until a very close friend told me so, and started listing examples,very much like the one you described...
So what I did, was at first force myself to smile and say "thank you" and that is it, no more self deprecating jokes or comments, no more trying to play down me of my efforts, just force myself to say "thank you" and shut up... with time, it became less and less unconfortable and now I´m finally able to actually believe and enjoy when I get a compliment, I learned to like myself more and more...
Sometimes, depending on the person I still get unconfortable, and when that happens I just go back to the old mantra of "thank you" and shut up... :)
04-17-2008, 06:34 AM
Thanks guys.:hug: I will definitely go the 'smile and say thank you' route next time. Much simpler. Oh and there will be a next time!:cool:
04-17-2008, 07:19 AM
Have to agree. The best thing to do is say "Thank you!" After all, when I give a compliment, that's all I'm looking to hear! ;)
04-17-2008, 07:19 AM
I have a hard time when they are probing compliments - wow - have you lost weight? Or - you look great how much have you lost? I am trying to learn to smile - say thanks and say I'm working on it. I don't tell casual acquaintances how much I have lost.
04-17-2008, 09:11 AM
My hubby is the compliment king.. drives me nuts because I usually don't feel like I deserve them. I consantly brush them off. I'm working on just saying thank you for them and accepting the fact that I really am doing the best that I can.
04-17-2008, 10:09 AM
When I give someone a compliment, it's really nice when the person simply says thank you. I don't like to fight with a person and insist that what I was saying was the truth. Therefore I always smile and say thank you when a person compliments me. I figure, people don't compliment you if they don't truly mean it. Compliments are wonderful!
04-17-2008, 10:41 AM
hehhe I've always been such a HAM that I love compliments ~ on hair, nails, makeup, an outfit, shoes, bags, whatver LOL ~ and I always figure, people don't have to say anything at all so if they say something nice they must mean it! I'm always very enthusiastic and say "oh thanks! i really like this bag too" or whatever. I give a lot of compliments too, I can't help it! When someone comes in with something new on I'm always "what a cutie new outfit" it just comes out of me! LOL
NOW on the other hand, I try not to let the enthusiasm about my weight loss get to me -- as in, 'wow i must be thin now, let's have a dairy queen" hehhe I keep repeating "yah you still weigh MORE than the heavyweight champ of the world, let's not get ahead of ourselves" ;)
04-17-2008, 08:11 PM
I am a person that had to learn how to take compliments...I still have to make an effort to just smile and say "Thank You." I used to feel the need to explain myself or deny the compliment. I have stopped myself mid-sentence, and just said, "Thank you." I like getting compliments, but the self-esteem ruins them sometimes.