Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-13-2008, 01:30 PM   #1  
Junior Member
Thread Starter
 
mountaineer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1

Default my 16 yr old is 30 lbs over

My beautiful, smart daughter has always had a weight problem but no one in the medical community will help since she is still a 'child'. Although we've tried different diets, it's extremely difficult to motivate a teenager to 'eat healthy' when all her friends are skinny and can eat all the 'illegal' stuff.
We are not wealthy and cannot afford to send her to expensive retreats, etc. Please, does anyone have some workable advice. She hates to exercise or go out for sports because her spare tire flops up and down when she runs/jumps and she's extremely self conscious about it. She's 5'8" and 200lbs.
mountaineer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 01:44 PM   #2  
Member
 
LondonAngel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 53

Height: 5'4

Default

I'm also a teenager, I'm going with a nutritionist right now and everything is going really well.

I also hate to excercise. At first I refused to do so and was losing weight very slowly, but then my father told me that I had to do some sport at least 2 times per week (not because I were fat, but because I spend to much time in the computer) or I would not be able to use the computer or go out with my friends. So I started doing excercise 2 days each week and started to lose weight a little faster. I now do 4 times each week and I am loosing weight so fast!!


So what I recomend you to do is: first of all, look for a nutritionist, even if your daughter is a teenager, they should help her! and do what my father did
LondonAngel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 01:52 PM   #3  
Member
 
Hannah25's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 54

S/C/G: 240/181/125

Height: 5'5"

Default

If being self conscious is what is preventing her from exercising, how about finding exercises where that is not an issue. Playing tennis, just you and her, would not be embarassing, or low impact exercise where nothing would "bounce". Biking, hiking, even walking. Being active at that age does not require that you be on the soccer team or run track.
Also, and this is only a suggestion from someone that was fat at that age and had a mother who tried to help, make sure that her weight doesn't become a big part of the relationship between the two of you. There is no feeling quite so low as feeling like your family can't see beyond your weight. I am in no way implying that this is a reality, in fact I am almost certain that is not the case since you described her as beautiful and smart, so please don't take offense, but as a child who is self conscious that is a very real fiction that is easy to accept. Be supportive of her weight loss, but try to step back from it a bit, as well. 5'8" and 200 pounds is not great, but it is not shockingly horrible either. Best of luck to her, and to you in trying to help her. Your position is not an easy one.
Hannah25 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 01:56 PM   #4  
Senior Member
 
zenor77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: The Hill Country
Posts: 2,579

S/C/G: 218/175/155

Height: 5'6"

Default

How about some low impact exercise that won't make things flop around? Walking, swimming, water aerobics, cycling, etc. Or she could do things in the house so she wouldn't be self conscious. Videos? Or maybe a mini trampoline to jump around on? Even just going to a park to play Frisbee would be exercise.

I can understand her self consciousness! I'm top heavy and it's hard to exercise when things move a lot and hurt afterwards!

I think LondonAngels suggestion of a nutritionist is a great one! Your insurance may even cover it. Also, check to see if your insurance has any programs to help your daughter with weight loss. It benefits the insurance company if you are healthier, so they sometimes have free programs to help.
zenor77 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 01:59 PM   #5  
Senior Member
 
Glory87's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 6,192

S/C/G: 190/140/135

Height: 5'7"

Default

I'm not a parent, so please filter any of my suggestions through your own parenting experience! For me, weight loss was nearly 90% diet and exercise (while extremely wonderful and beneficial) was a smaller component in my weight loss). Help your daughter with diet, when she loses weight she might feel less self conscious and motivated to workout.

Make this a family effort
- Completely de-junk your house. No ice cream, chips, pretzels.
- Switch to healthier versions of foods you already eat - whole grain bread (read the labels, don't be fooled by stuff like "stone ground" or "multi grain"), brown rice instead of white, sweet potatoes instead of white potatoes, low fat yogurt, low fat cheese, low fat salad dressings (Annie's Gingerly Vinaigrette is REALLY good)
- Serve reasonable portions - if a serving of pasta is 2 oz or a serving of rice is 1 cup cooked, put THAT on the plate
- Have lots of healthy snacks ready - luckily it's summer and there is a lot of gorgeous produce available at a reasonable price - it's berry and citrus season, it will soon be melon season. Summer squash and zucchini will soon be really cheap. I love to sautee onions, garlic, summer squash and zucchini with a little olive oil - makes a gorgeous side dish and is extremely low cal
- Get out the bbq - lean grilled meats and grilled veggies are a great summer dinner
- Since you are the parent, you should have some influence over her discretionary income and her time with friends.
- Encourage a family athletic activity - bikeriding or walking
- Teach her healthy habits - let her HELP. Let her help plan meals, grocery shop, cook, pack lunches. If you're going out to a restaurant, encourage her to check out the menu/nutrional info online first, encourage her to journal her meals (maybe buy her one of those super pretty sparkly journals they sell at places like B&N) - these are all the habits she will need to live at a healthy weight for the rest of her life.

Please let your daughter know she can definitely lose weight! I was 5'7" and about 200 lbs when I started and I lost 70 lbs and have kept it off for over 3 years. Please tell her - when I ate whatever I wanted, the food might have tasted good, but I wasn't happy. I do eat carefully now and while I sometimes miss the reckless abandon of drinking a venti caramel latte and eating a huge muffin - I am soooo much happier as a thin person. The taste of food didn't make me feel good like eating well and being thin does.
Glory87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 02:01 PM   #6  
Boston Qualifier and MOM
 
ennay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 6,346

Height: 5'3.75"

Default

Try to do activities as a family...go on walks in the evening and on weekends. Cook healthy dinners, rid the house of junkfood, but dont try to police what she eats when she is at school or out with her friends. Just set good healthy examples at home. Pack her healthy lunches (if that is the norm to bring your own), but dont forbid her to buy the bag of doritos out of the vending machine if all her friends are. Eventually she may decide on her own that she doesnt want it. Educate but dont dictate

In the end, the motivation has to come from HER. If it is you forcing it on her it will only cause resentment and backfire. When she wants it, she will ask for help.

If her main reason for not wanting to do anything active is the floppy belly, look into lightly spandexed workout wear (the ones that look like bike shorts) with a pair of baggier shorts over it. The spandex provides support while the baggy shorts provide comforting camouflage.

Last edited by ennay; 04-13-2008 at 02:05 PM.
ennay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 02:02 PM   #7  
busty nerd
 
froggie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 109

S/C/G: 210/206/133

Height: 5'5"

Default

i'm self-conscious about exercising, i feel really paranoid that people will think it's hilarious to see a fat girl trying to jog. cycling is a really good way to exercise without feeling self-conscious because you don't necessarily look like you're exercising and you can whizz past potential/imagined smirkers like the wind!

i agree with hannah's post that you shouldn't make too much of an issue out of it. it can be really humiliating to have someone bring up your weight and might just make her unhappier. she's not going to lose weight until it's something that *she* decides to do.

Last edited by froggie83; 04-13-2008 at 02:02 PM.
froggie83 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 02:12 PM   #8  
busty nerd
 
froggie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 109

S/C/G: 210/206/133

Height: 5'5"

Default

you could suggest she join this site...one of the mods could presumably delete this thread beforehand if you do that.
but again...mentioning a person's weight is always a total minefield. as you no doubt know. good luck!
froggie83 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 02:18 PM   #9  
Senior Member
 
Horo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 905

S/C/G: 244/234/135

Height: 5'6"

Default

Well, advice coming from someone right around your daughter's age, I recommend calorie counting for your daughter's situation. It's simple, easy, and best of all... it's free! You can find more information about it on the calorie counters board.

As for her not being motivated to eat healthy... If she realizes that she is overweight, and if she realizes that there is a REASON for her being overweight, then she should probably come to realize that that reason is due to the fact that she can not get away with "illegal" food items and still stay thin like her friends do! You have to make it clear that she and her friends are NOT the same people, and though it may seem to be unfair, they can not eat all the same things. Maybe you should point out that her skinny friend's metabolisms will most likely eventually slow down, and they'll all pack on the pounds themselves if they keep eating the way they do.

About the exercise thing... well, the only thing you can do is to teach her not to be so self conscious about it. Tell her that the only way to shrink her "spare tire" is to let it "flop up and down" a bit. But really, if she is THAT self conscious about it, can't she do exercises that don't involve "flopping"? Riding a bike? Walking the dog if you have one, or just taking a walk by herself? Maybe her clothes are the problem? I'm sure there are things out there that she can wear that can prevent most, if not all, flopping.

I should also mention that you should avoid getting TOO involved in it. You may have good intentions, but to her, your efforts may scream "Fat! Fat! Fatty! You have to lose weight, you're too fat!" which may sabotage any motivation for her to make an attempt at it. Be gentle and supportive, and don't get all on her case about it.

Hope I helped.
Horo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 03:19 PM   #10  
Let's do this!
 
junebug41's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: 3rd cornfield on the left.
Posts: 3,757

S/C/G: 210/149/140

Height: 5'6.5

Default

You don't actually refer to her "spare tire flopping up and down" to her face, do you?

There are many components to weight loss and there are many more when you are a 16 year old girl. To want to take care of herself, she must like herself. You can't force her to eat right or exercise, but you can give her your full support in her efforts and that's about all you can do.

As a someone who was overweight as a teen with loving yet imperfect parents, here is my advice:
- Do not badger her. Ever.
- Do not "restrict"- that will lead to rebellion
- Have plenty of healthy options at home
- have her cook with you and make meals a "family affair". I know in a lot of families, it's sort of a "fend for yourself" and eat around the TV, but don't just tell her what to do and expect her to do it. WALK HER THROUGH IT- supportively
- Activities: Is there anything that she likes to do? Does she like to bikeride? Swim? Encourage her to get involve in sports. This may be hard because she may be sensitive about athletics. Student athletes do a fair amount of training outside of practice so get involved in working with her outside of lessons/practice, or better yet, start an exercise routine that you do together- consistently. Could you maybe get her to start taking walks with you?

16 year old girls, as impossible as it seems, are fragile creatures. I think the key word is "supportive".
junebug41 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 03:33 PM   #11  
Senior Member
 
chickybird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,102

S/C/G: 229/220/170

Height: 6'0'

Default

Does your daughter want to be helped? I didn't see that anywhere. I like what the other people said about not badgering and de-junking the house. I do Weight watchers, and you can eat pretty much regular food, and use portion control. If I want chocolate, I eat it. I just don't eat the entire bag, ha ha!
chickybird is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 03:55 PM   #12  
Member
 
elanelaine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 34

S/C/G: 165/137/130

Height: 5'9

Default How about a cooking night?

Just an idea to get her thinking about healthier choices.

I'm 23 and after I moved out of my parents' house I realized that nobody ever taught me how to cook. All I could cook was frozen food, toast, ramen noodles...you get the picture.

Anyway, what about a cooking night that you come up with healthy recipes and make a night of it. Maybe even let her have a couple of friends over to help and enjoy the meal. One of my favorite cookbooks is "Eating for Life" by Bill Phillips. It is a lot of healthy, simple, and very yummy recipes.
elanelaine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 05:48 PM   #13  
Lola
 
Princess0113's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 119

S/C/G: 225/ticker/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

i second what chickybird said about weightwatchers. i'm pretty sure they let teenagers join.

and like several others mentioned, let her make the decision. i know from experience. if she decides not to pursue weight loss at this time, let it go. don't bring it up again until she does. otherwise, she'll end up being an adult who thinks that being overweight overshadows all of the other aspects of her as a person. help her develop an innate sense of confidence based on her inner-beauty. then she will probably develop the strength to deal with her weight issue.
Princess0113 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 06:57 PM   #14  
Senior Member
 
chickybird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,102

S/C/G: 229/220/170

Height: 6'0'

Default

In WW, if you are younger than 18, you need a note from your dr. in order to join. There are several teenages in my group who have done this
chickybird is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2008, 07:17 PM   #15  
Let's salsa!
 
Tomato's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,396

S/C/G: 208/160/158 for now

Height: 5'9"

Default

I understand her being self-conscious about her weight. Would it be easier for her to exercise in the privacy of her home rather than in a gym or where other people can see her? How about getting a treadmill or an elliptical? Maybe you can pretend you are getting for you yourself, and gently motivate her to use it as well.
Tomato is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:24 PM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.