Weight Loss Support - Why doesn't anyone notice??




View Full Version : Why doesn't anyone notice??


skinnyinsideout
04-08-2008, 07:25 PM
I'm so frustrated! I have lost 29 pounds and have been seeing people I haven't seen in a couple weeks and no one has noticed the weight loss. It is driving me crazy!! Anyone else run into this & at what point do they notice? It's almost the bigger you are the more invisible you are!!:(


lorilove
04-08-2008, 07:29 PM
It is generally the 30lb mark that most people noticed in me. You will be surprised how many people notice but are afraid to say anything.

Also it helps if you are wearing clothes that fit rather than just baggy versions of what you always wore.

I have lost almost 85lbs and I still have people comment for the first time that have seen me over the last year and they still say they did not know if they should say anything - people can be so odd!

ambersmom722
04-08-2008, 07:32 PM
i agree with the poster above. sometimes people really dont know how to say it. i know in the past when i released a large amt of weight, i actually got tired of the comments and so called compliments i received.

just be proud of you and know that there are many here that are celebrating right along with ya!


bethbeth
04-08-2008, 07:39 PM
Yeah, it really depends on what you wear. I got a new smaller shirt last week and the first day I wore it 2 people asked if I've been loosing weight.
Beth

srmb60
04-08-2008, 07:46 PM
Yup, people will notice when you change clothing. And yes people feel awkward and don't know what to say.

We're happy and proud of you! :hug:

ShannanA
04-08-2008, 07:50 PM
I have found that I only get comments from people that I rarely see. People that see me everyday don't notice the gradual changes.

FreeSpirit
04-08-2008, 07:54 PM
Would you walk up to one of your coworkers and ask if they've been losing weight or make a comment on it?

I know that I'm just not the type of person to do that sort of thing. I know how personal losing weight can be and I'd rather wait until they bring it up before I say anything, I definately don't want to make someone feel uncomfortable.

Robin41
04-08-2008, 08:01 PM
I've lost 125 pounds and I still see people who either don't mention it at all or ask if I've lost "a little" weight. It's weird but I think a lot of people are just uncomfortable with it.

On the other hand, I've also had people go on and on about it until I just want to smack them in the head.

Don't worry, your efforts are being noticed.

ShannanA
04-08-2008, 08:03 PM
Would you walk up to one of your coworkers and ask if they've been losing weight or make a comment on it?


I would, I think everyone deserves some credit for their hard work. My friend gained 20 lbs and I didn't even notice, I think when you are really big it's a lot less noticable when someone puts or takes off weight.

WebRover
04-08-2008, 08:06 PM
I've lost 33 pounds and got my first comment at 30 pounds. I just had someone comment yesterday that I looked good and thought it was the color of my shirt. :dizzy:
Some people just aren't that observant of things that are not of immediate impact to them.

KarenGinNJ
04-08-2008, 08:19 PM
I've lost 125 pounds and I still see people who either don't mention it at all or ask if I've lost "a little" weight. It's weird but I think a lot of people are just uncomfortable with it.

On the other hand, I've also had people go on and on about it until I just want to smack them in the head.

Don't worry, your efforts are being noticed.

Robin - I see that I have about the same amount of weight to lose as you've lost! And you did it in a year... That's what I'm shooting for - from 302 to 175. I started March 18 and my goal is 175 by April 1, 2009.

If you don't mind me asking, what did you do? I count calories and so far so good. I also see your "mini-goals" I should probably do that as well. Something to shoot for.

I am always amazed at how many people have lost large amounts of weight - such an inspiration!

Karen
:sunny:

Robin41
04-08-2008, 08:28 PM
I'm just a calorie counter and I exercise 5-6 times a week. Really I think the exercise is the key. Burns calories, kicks up your metabolism and makes you think twice about a little "cheat" when you put all that effort into working out.

Mini goals really worked for me because I'm really competitive. The key is to always make them reasonably achievable. They should encourage you, not make you feel badly about yourself because you couldn't reach them in the timeframe you set yourself.

You're doing great. Enjoy the process; it's going to take awhile so you might as well enjoy it and learn some stuff.

skinnyinsideout
04-08-2008, 08:31 PM
Thanks everyone for the replies - I have had people say my hair looks good, or outfit is nice, maybe that's what they think it is. This is my first post and you all are so kind and supportive, wow! - thank you!!

I am the typr that would say something because I know what an accomplishment it is, but I guess for those that haven't fought the battle, maybe they don't get it.

Thanks again!!!:

flow1:

kisskiss
04-08-2008, 08:33 PM
a lot of people just dont know if they should comment on something like that--It can be embarassing. Some ppl just feel like they shouldnt say anything unless they know the person is dieting...dont worry, someone will notice soon enough!!

shelby897
04-08-2008, 09:35 PM
I'm amazed the people who notice when you gain weight and open their mouths for no reason -- but when you lose -- nothing! Maybe they are afraid you will say "no, I haven't lost anything" -- kind of up there with "when are you due" and finding out they aren't pregnant.

Maybe they just can't put their finger on it -- you look great -- hair, clothes, what did she do :D

Enjoy it -- you are doing this for you!! I bet one day it will just happen and never stop!!!

BattleAx
04-08-2008, 09:40 PM
People didn't start commenting until about 60 lbs. lost. From 50-65 lbs. lost, I got a lot of compliments on my shirt, my hair, my makeup, etc.....from all those who couldn't quite put their finger on what was different about me.

sweetlovin
04-08-2008, 09:42 PM
I'm going to be completely honest. I don't like telling people who are overweight that they are losing weight. I think it might be embarrassing or uncomfortable for them-- and it sometimes is

If they are average size and they lose a few pounds, i have no problem telling them. But with overweight people, I tend to think they may be offended by me telling them so. Unless I know them well, I keep it to myself.

"Wow you look great? Did you drop a few pounds?"

"What was wrong with me before?"

idk just a fear I have that I think affects more then just me. lol

So people may definitely be noticing but not saying anything because they don't know if they should. Try bringing it up.

"I've been exercising and eating healthy lately"

"Really? Omg i totally notice you dropped a lot of weight"

I know from experience. I dropped 30 pounds and was underweight and no one said anything lol

Lovely
04-08-2008, 09:44 PM
I didn't get a comment from anyone until 70+ lbs had been dropped. I didn't even notice a difference (I barely do now) so I can see why no one else would. I don't really mind, though. The little things... like needing some new pants... always keeps me goin'!

Lunula
04-08-2008, 10:45 PM
Would you walk up to one of your coworkers and ask if they've been losing weight or make a comment on it?


I would, I think everyone deserves some credit for their hard work. My friend gained 20 lbs and I didn't even notice, I think when you are really big it's a lot less noticable when someone puts or takes off weight.
Yea...but I would only do it if I knew FOR SURE that someone had lost weight (i.e., when it's really obvious). I've had people ask me in the past if I'm losing weight, mostly when I wear a new piece of clothing and it always made me feel like a loser to say, "Nope, must be the skirt..."

So people probably are noticing but are being respectful. :)

ShannanA
04-08-2008, 10:52 PM
Whenever I drop a size I parade around in my new pants and announce "look, size 10's baby" LOL I'm such an attention whore.

PhotoChick
04-09-2008, 12:30 AM
YOu know what's funny?

Look at recent threads on other parts of the boards. There is one going on right now that is something about " how do you feel when other people comment" and the vast majority of people answering said "I hate it" ...! The answers range from "what? was I that fat and ugly before?" to "why do they think it's appropriate to make such personal comments".

And then we have a post like this where someone says "why doesn't anyone say anything??????"

It's funny to me because it highlights how much we personalize the things people say to us ... how we interpret them through our own filters ... and how everyone is damned if they do and damned if they don't.

There's a line in A Fish Called Wanda where John Cleese says:
The British - we never ask "how are the wife and kids?" because we're terrified to hear "the wife left me and the kids died in a fire last week"?

I think it's even more true of us here in America. At this point anyone is afraid to say anything to anyone - because of how it might be interpreted. Because it's not "PC" enough. Because everyone wants to find insult in everything anymore.

If you say "wow, you look great. have you lost weight?" you're an insensitive clod who is implying that the person looked like crap before and was a fat slob.

If you don't say anything, you're an insensitive clod who doesn't even acknolwedge the progress and struggle that someone has gone through to make themselves healthier and look better.

Whoa. NO wonder people are afraid to say anything. Because nothing they say is right and everything they do is wrong. Do I compliment my co-worker on her weight loss or do I keep my mouth shut? Discretion is the better part of valor and all that ... so I keep my mouth shut. And I'm still wrong.

It's funny. In a really sad sort of way.

I wish we'd all just learn to take what is said or not said at face value and quit trying to make it all into some hidden agenda. It would make life so much easier from both sides.

.

Idealmuse
04-09-2008, 12:42 AM
It took 70lbs give or take before I got the first comments not from my husband.

It's odd how weight works. Sometimes people just see "big" they don't see how big until you start reaching what would be considered heavy-normal.

gypsyblue
04-09-2008, 01:44 AM
do you live in a cold climate? I dropped 50 pounds before my coworkers noticed. Now that It's warming up I've dropped the leggings and layers and layers .... and actually bought some new tops.
No one had said ANYTHING to me about it and within a week of 40 degree weather every single woman I work with (only one of the guys heh) had come to me and complimented me and asked me how.
Now It's totally annoying. I feel like my butt is being watched for changes everyday heh.

aphil
04-09-2008, 07:40 AM
"I think it's even more true of us here in America. At this point anyone is afraid to say anything to anyone - because of how it might be interpreted. Because it's not "PC" enough. Because everyone wants to find insult in everything anymore."

Photochick-GREAT wording there. It is 100% true nowdays, in EVERY situation that you can imagine. :lol:



Some people I think notice, but don't want to say anything...and sometimes, I think people are just so into their selves and own lives/thoughts, that they don't pay that much attention. After my first child, when I lost part of the weight from having her, someone noticed my new haircut at the time, and said that it "made my face look thinner". I told them that it probably wasn't the haircut...but the 40 pounds. :rofl:

gailr42
04-09-2008, 11:56 AM
My girl friend is still dropping hints about my going to Weight Watchers with her. She lost 50 lbs and is keeping it off, but she hasn't noticed my 35lb loss. I guess because she sees me a few times a week and I haven't said anything about it.

My MIL and both DILs have mentioned that I have lost weight. No one else.

dgramie
04-09-2008, 12:41 PM
I had lsot 29lbs and wore a new outfit to my brother wedding and a family member told me the outfit I chose was slimming on me. She said i needed to choose more outfits made that style so i didnt look as fat. I walked away and didnt say (its not the outfit that is slimming it ME). I cant wait to see her again in a few months.
debi

Beach Patrol
04-09-2008, 01:15 PM
Welllll..... when I lose or gain weight, it is really easy to tell. It shows in my FACE.

I think a lot of people just don't notice stuff into it really slaps them in the face. I once lost 35 pounds, & EVERYBODY I worked with was complimenting me on my hard work & blahblahblah. But this ONE GUY... OMG... one day he came into the office & looked at me point blank & said... "You look different. Have you lost weight?" I said, "Yes Bob." He said "Really? How much?" I said "About 35 pounds, Bob." He said "Well, you'd think I'd notice something like that." :dizzy:

Then there are people like me... people who notice if your shoe is untied. If you have a zit. If your bra-strap is showing. IF YOU'VE LOST 10 POUNDS. I am a noticer. I notice everything. But like it has already been mentioned, some people just don't take others opinions very well.... even if they're complimentary. So when it comes to weight, it's a touchy subject. I have to have a good acquaintance level with a person before I'd dare compliment them on some as personal as THEIR BODY.

As for myself, when people notice & speak up about my weight loss, I now simply reply "Thank you! I've been working really hard at it!" :D