Weight Loss Support - Angry/Sad about a comment that was made when I was pregnant

yobi new mom 2007
04-08-2008, 05:20 PM
I just want to vent about something that happened to me when I was in my third trimester of pregnancy.

I was walking to my house after going to the gym, and 1 guy yelled/screamed to me "LOSE WEIGHT". He was sitting besides the driver and they had the nerved to slow down and yelled that to me...A PREGNANT WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!! I probably looked really *fat* because I gained A LOT of weight, BUT I had my pregnant stomach...............At first I felt like crying, then I was angry and then sad because I was pregnant at that time... It is so horrible to hear someone yelling that to you. I always thought that someone starring at you was bad, but this event was worse than stares.This was a long time ago and I am starting to lose the weight that I gained during pregnancy, but everytime I am walking down the streets I think about what they guy said. My coworkers said that they guy was an idiot and probably drunk BUT STILL!

How can people be so mean? :?:

04-08-2008, 06:29 PM
Hey new mom,

I am so sorry that happened to you. I was out walking with a friend once and some guys yelled at her from a car because she was heavy. It made her cry. I felt so murderously angry at them! :mad:

In your case it's just so stupid because you were pregnant. For heavens sake! :no:

There's nothing to be done but rise above it. Surely you won't let the stupid, cowardly, and idiotic comment of some jackass get the better of you! Think of him as a dog barking in the street--that's about how much importance such a comment has.


04-08-2008, 07:06 PM
People are not nice. I really don't think they are. When I was a freshman in college---and not all that big, some guy told me that I had a really pretty face but I was just too fat. He was not skinny either!!!!

I hate how people are so quick to judge when they have their own issues to be dealt with. ...and what's with this double standard?

I'm sorry that happened to you. :( **HUG**

04-08-2008, 07:06 PM
In any case, even if the victim is not pregnant and weighs more than 800 lbs, this behavior is stupid, rude, and just plain rotten behavior. How many of these morons would do this, if it meant their photograph would be in the newspaper for doing so, or for that matter if they were within earshot of their mother (unless she's who modeled such behavior)?

04-08-2008, 07:15 PM
I remember back in high school being chubby and some of the others would call me fat. What always blew my mind was yes these others weren't heavy but when their parents were around it always shocked me that they had 300lb parents. Wouldn't these be the people with more sympathy towards heavy people?

04-08-2008, 07:18 PM
That is RIDICULOUS! People are definitley nasty sometimes! That is very hurtful and has happened to a lot of us in one form or another :(
I always think of this icon when someone says something nasty....

Keep your head up <3

full of grace
04-08-2008, 07:20 PM
I still remember being in college and walking through a parking lot, some balding guy in a roadster sped by, hit the brakes, and yelled, "Lose some weight, fata$$!"

I remember crying about it and then thinking, "Wait a minute! Aw, that's really sad. I, in fact, DO need to lose weight and, good thing, I CAN. That guy? He's ALWAYS going to be an a-hole!"

Be glad that when people are obnoxious like that they're showing you that they live in a world where WE are the one with the problem.

Nope. It's them. Our problem has a fix. Theirs? Unless they were to go through years of therapy or something, they're pretty much just jerks and, the fact that the "yelling at the fat girl" thing made their day just goes to show how very small their lives really are.

Just my perspective. :p

04-08-2008, 07:48 PM
This is why I much prefer animals to people ...

Sorry to hear you had to go through that.

04-08-2008, 08:07 PM
When I was pg with my first I was walking sometime during my 3rd trimester in a heavy winter coat. Some dipwads running whizzed by me and said..."you'll never lose weight moving that slowly"

Where the **** are they now? I'd like to chase them with a heavy object. I'd catch them too:D

Use it for fuel when you need to pump that workout up a notch. I've run on hard days thinking about if I ever see them again. I run faster then.

Mrs Snark
04-08-2008, 08:07 PM
I'm sorry you went through that. The world really is full of idiots. There are lots of nice people too, of course, it's just that the idiots are drawing so much attention to themselves by being..well.. idiotic.

yobi new mom 2007
04-08-2008, 08:20 PM
THanks everybody for their comments :). I remember when I told friends and coworkers, they asked me for this guy description and wanted to kill him! Some of my friends said that I should just laugh about what happened because I was pregnant, but even IF i wasn't pregnant I can still lose weight with hardwork;however, the guy will still continue being an a$$.... :carrot:
Now I can see that memory as just awkard! after all I was coming home from the gYM! LOL! :dizzy:
I'm REALLY going to teach my baby and future children that they have to be respectfull!

04-09-2008, 11:35 AM
I know it's best not to engage these types of idiots, but I can't help but imagine what the look on his face would have been if you yelled back, "give birth" These types are idiots.

04-09-2008, 11:44 AM
I'll bet that guy had a beer belly and dirty fingernails and BO, too.

04-09-2008, 12:16 PM
people like that have their own self esteem issues and are very insecure about themselves so they have to make others feel bad so that they feel good! (((hugs)))

04-09-2008, 05:42 PM
When I was about 175, I went to Dairy Queen to get my then boyfriend a shake (me a Diet Pepsi limeade as I was on my way down, weight-wise) and some horrible high school girls said, as I was walking out of the door, "Looks like she really needs those."

The horror. The absolute horror.

My eyes welled up just reading your story and the others that you guys have posted. WTH is wrong with people?

04-09-2008, 06:23 PM
I really can't stand people that feel it's their right and duty to comment other people :mad:

in my experience, old people are the meanest ones there are:(
now, I like nice grannys and even like to chat with them on bus stops but there are some that are very mean :(

last year I had a college class very early and didn't have time for breakfast at home so I bought a slice of pizza in near bakery. I was eating and walking to my college and an old woman (about 70years old) walked past me and said :"You're already fat, you shouldn't eat that".
Good thing is, I am not mean, or else I would comment something like : "And zombies shouldn't leave graveyard, and in spite of it, here you are" :devil:

(I know it's stupid thing to say, but it's the best I could think of right now:D )

04-09-2008, 06:38 PM
I started running while I was in college, and it's amazing how many college-age kids feel the need to yell out of their cars and comment. :?:

Some of it was good attention, like just a honk and a wave, or a "look up ahead on your right, there's deer/geese/bunnies!" lol... some of it could go either way, like the whistling, or the jeep full of Army ROTC students clapping and cheering for me... and usually when it seemed negative, the guys (it was ALWAYS guys) weren't man enough to slow down and say it to my face so they drove by so fast that I couldn't even hear it!

Even so, I'm still super paranoid now that I'm running again. Now I run around quiet suburban streets, but there are always kids out playing (I always assume the worst about children :p) and some teens. I'm scarred for life. So I totally understand still being upset about it!

04-10-2008, 05:07 AM
I probably would have screamed something like 'Get a life, jackass!' or 'F#ck off, tampon!' but I have a nasty temper so....

I got tired of crying over people's stupid, nasty comments when I was in high school.

04-10-2008, 05:08 AM
Good thing is, I am not mean, or else I would comment something like : "And zombies shouldn't leave graveyard, and in spite of it, here you are" :devil:

(I know it's stupid thing to say, but it's the best I could think of right now:D )


04-10-2008, 01:32 PM
"And zombies shouldn't leave graveyard, and in spite of it, here you are"

You, my dear, are hilarious. I wish I was witty like that! I know why I'm not, though, because if I had that gift, I would have said it!! Hehe! :D

04-10-2008, 10:30 PM
When I was pregnant with my last one of my colleagues (whom I do not like) said to another colleague, whom I used to like, "Kitty is really big." The other agreed. I did not like that they felt so free to discuss me-- right next to my own office!!
I have only recently lightened up on the one I stopped liking. Poor thing, she seemed a little confused when I became so cold to her!

I relate this story only b/c it is in keeping with the thread title. And b/c I still play that moment in my head. I should get over it, I know! :)

04-10-2008, 11:18 PM
Ugh, you poor thing. How horrible. I agree with everything said here...especially the parts about how mean people can be. Who are these losers? Grrr....:mad: Never ceases to amaze me.

04-10-2008, 11:41 PM
When I was pregnant, I actually lost weight and I weighed less than what I did before pregnancy after I had my DD. However, I am from Korea and when I was growing up, I had to deal with something like this all the time. In Korea, "one size fits all" for female is like American size 6. This was when sweat suit was popular.. My ex and I went shopping and although I knew how Korean women's clothes size ran, he didn't really know. I was embarrased to tell him but he kep insisting for women's sweat suit. I did end up telling him that they only had one size for women and he said then get that one because I'm not fat and it will fit me with no problem. The owner of the store understood English and said "no no she's too big to fit in it. Her leg won't even go in." My ex got mad at the owner as I got really embarrassed and we left the store.
Well, people do stare at others A LOT and it made me feel bad while growing up...and that experience made everything worse.
Oh, some people even talked to each other like in bus staring at me, as if I couldn't hear them. "I wonder how much she weighs? Where does she even buy clothes?" I was about 180 lbs. One guy I went to juinor high with told me that I should weigh about 115 lbs for my height (5'7") and if I'm over that, I'm OBESE. HAHAHA...
Well, anyways.. so I know how that feels to be pointed at, stared at, to hear nasty things.. I grew up with it...but keep your head up because you will be healthier and they can't stop it. =)

04-11-2008, 01:09 AM
Aww honey. *hugs*

It happens to all of us. When I was 18 {le gasp! everything is a tragedy!} my oldest daughter was just about...oh...maybe a year or so old? Maybe a little older. I can't remember exactly. Anyway, I was working in a "market research" facility in the local mall. We walked around with clip boards and asked people to take surveys. I was probably wearing a size 16-18 at the time. I walked up to a group of guys, all in their mid 20s, and asked very cheerfully, "Would you like to take a survey?"

Then one turned, looked at me and his jaw dropped in a very anime-like movement. The others began mooing. Then the ringleader said "When you lose some weight baby." Then something about too much cushin' for the pushin'.

Being 18, it was, as I said, a "le gasp!" moment. Luckily one of the women I worked with was a strong, hard core 30-something feminist who got right back in their face and gave them what for. As I backed away, holding back tears, she had them shakin' in their boots.

Then, of course, she bought me ice cream with lunch to ease my sorrows. *sigh*

04-11-2008, 02:04 PM
Well, it's pretty sad when all these people have nothing better to do with their time than to ridicule others.

One time about 5 years ago I was at McDonalds, sitting in my car, eating lunch and reading a magazine. (I didn't like to eat at work, but that's a whole 'nuther story.) Two fools in a pick up truck for a landscaping company drove by and well, let's just say what they said has already been said here.

I fixed them. I wrote down the phone number off of the truck and called their boss. Now, I don't know if he did anything to them, but I do know he apologized profusely to me. And .. I know if that was me having to apologize for jerks that worked for me, they'd be hittin the bricks.

I look at it this way. I'm doing the best I can. I don't need to please anyone but myself. I've raised my children to be tolerant of everyone, be it race, gender, ethnicity or appearance. That's all one can do.

04-11-2008, 05:20 PM
Agh, the actions of these kinds of people really make me angry...
And it seems like it's always idiots in cars, you know? Damn cowards are too afraid to say it to your face, so they yell it out of a window and drive away. People who do this are truly pathetic.

Though this never happened to me regarding weight, not once but twice cars full of teenaged idiots(always males) slowed down and yelled some pretty nasty things out their windows at me, whilst I was walking my dog. Both times I laughed hysterically at them and they sped off. I'd like to see these people try saying that to my face.. what I'd do in return, well, they'd have it coming. :D

04-11-2008, 11:11 PM
Man, people SUCK.

I'm feeling very lucky for not having had this kind of yelling-out-of-car thing happen - I think maybe it's less frequent in the UK? Possibly?

But, oh, taragettinthin, dear lady from Korea - I know JUST what you're talking about! 'Cause here I am in THAILAND, US size 18, and the normal default size for a Thai girl is US size 2. Here, I am CIRCUS FREAK fat. Happily people are very tolerant of us farangs, and pretty used to seeing Circus Freak Fat white people, so if they feel the need to remark upon my fatness it's generally in Thai (and my Thai is just terrible - Arabic I'm not bad at, but Thai kicks my *** with its 5 tones) so at least I don't understand it.

...except for my taxi driver, a few months ago.

It had already been a crappy evening: it had been a long day, and I was standing in 30 degrees of heat waiting for a taxi. Now, normally you wait five minutes or so. On this occasion I waited MORE THAN FORTY MINUTES, and during that time several people STOLE taxis out from under us. And a lot of taxis, for absolutely no good reason, just refused to go to my street. (They can say yes or no, and my street isn't far away, but the Traffic Gods decided to mess with me on this day and so NOBODY was prepared to take me, for some whacky reason.) Anyway, the Thai girl in front of me was in the same boat, and eventually it was getting to be like some kind of joke. (Although the next time some fat old white Farang guy and his skinny teen Thai girlfriend stole a taxi from the back of the taxirank, I did step out into the road in front of them and glare at them like a psycho with a gun, willing death and misery upon them for their iniquity.) Finally she got a taxi to where she was going, and I was all 'Yay! Go you! Victory, my sistah!' and all that. And I was still waiting. And it's hot - man, it's hot, and your clothes are sticking to you, and it's late, and you are TIRED and cross and losing your sense of humour. And after a while, as taxi after taxi says it's not going my way, I turned to the guys behind me and told them, with a maniacal grin on my face, that despite being British and loathing the notion of making a scene, I was in some danger of losing my sense of humour entirely and punching someone in the face, and then highjacking a damn taxi. And we all had a bit of a laugh.

Anyway, FINALLY a taxi says it will go to my street! And I'm punching the air and dancing my *** over to the taxi, and the guys behind me are laughing and giving me the thumbs up, and I get in and put all my bags down and close the door.

....and, sweet baby Jesus, the taxi STINKS. It reeks like something died inside it, and the corpse got sprinkled with week-old tuna. And, I mean, in Bangkok taxis are usually new, clean, efficient - this is the first and only time I've got into a stinky taxi. But do I care? I do not. It has four wheels and an engine, and it is going to my street. I am philosophical about the stink.

....and then the taxi driver turns around and gapes, and cries out: "YOU FAT! YOU FAT FAT FAT! WHAT YOU WEIGH? YOU SO FAT!"

And I just stare at him. And ten years ago I would have been just GUTTED, and tearful, but I guess that I'm sort of used to being circus freak fat here in Thailand, and this helps me to just find this final bit of crapness that the universe has hurled my way HILARIOUS. It's like - wow. What else can go wrong? Is my taxi going to blow up? Will we have another military coup? So I stare at him for a moment, and then I start to laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh. And every time I nearly get my breathing under control, I crack up again, and I spend the majority of my ten minute drive home just CACKLING. And he joins in, and we both laugh most of the way to my flat. 'You like laugh!' he tells me. 'You Fat!' And I laugh some more, because, really, what are you going to do? 'What you weigh? One eighty?' he adds, sounding genuinely interested. And I have no idea, at this time, quite what I weigh, or whether he means kilos or pounds. 'If you like,' I say cheerfully. 'If that will get me home, then okay.' 'You like Bangkok?' he asks. 'Yes. Yes, I do,' I say - and then I dissolve into hysterical laughter all over again, because, GOOD GRIEF, Mr Taxi Driver! You have NO SOCIAL SKILLS AT ALL!

...now, if he'd been one of these rude, intentionally hurtful arseholes who've been mentioned in this thread already, who lean out of cars to shout abuse - that wouldn't have made me laugh. But he was transparently just clueless and astonished by my fatness - like he'd looked back and found that his passenger was blue, or had three heads. He was being quite affable and smiley and everything, and was probably quite proud that he knew enough English to be able to communicate his astonishment with me. So it was easy enough to just find this funny, that the guy with the stinky taxi (who presumably is hoping for a tip when he delivers me to my destination) has just told me to my face that I'm very fat. Like this is NEWS, and like I'm going to be grateful for the heads up!

04-12-2008, 03:50 AM
Oh wow broadabroad. Well, I'm a Korean so the language wasn't the problem, but I'm so sorry to hear that although I would be laughing with you if I was there in the cab with you, too. I can picture someone doing that without realizing what he's doing...to a foreigner. :D

04-12-2008, 11:13 AM
OMG!!! Those guys had better get a life and mind their own problems (because they oviously have one). I don't understand how people can think it's fun to be so rude. First of all, your were pregnant, and secondly, do they think people can't decide for themselves whether they want to lose weight or not? Some men seem to think we are all here to decorate their miserable little world. :tantrum:

04-12-2008, 01:43 PM
they only do it due to their own insecurities....
i had it at school **** of a lot....
and more recently in a job....
makes me laff now....
the ringleaders with a girl much heavier than me!....
must admit it gave me the push i needed....
yer it made me unhappy, but gave me a reason to work harder....