100 lb. Club - I can't get it together.

View Full Version : I can't get it together.

04-06-2008, 11:37 AM
I feel like a failure... maybe that's what's keeping me from continuing. At this point I've stayed still for far too long... since about October. At the end of the day, I'm just not ready to give up the things I love to eat.

I should be more positive. After all, since October, I've maintained somewhere between 275 and 272, and if I went above that, I always got back down. My body seems comfortable at 275, and I'm not engaging my body to get uncomfortable with it. I also have the potential thyroid problem looming overhead and I don't feel like I can do anything about it without health insurance.

So far I've accomplished about a 35lb loss, maintaining that loss for 6 months by eating smaller portions and very sketchy exercise. I have stopped calorie counting... so I know I can eat "intuitively" to maintain, but not to lose. To succeed, I know I need to track what I am eating and aim to take out the sugary desserts (they are my downfall, I'd say for the most part everything else I eat is pretty healthy and could show some improvement, but I am generally careful/conscious about it) and get my butt moving in a formal exercise plan.

I would say that I've been a bit depressed for the last 6 months. John has been out of work all this time (my hubby, we just got married March 22nd), and things have gone from bad to worse to OK. I shouldn't complain too much because we've certainly been blessed with a lot of things to make him not working something we can manage, but if gas is really going to $5 a gallon this summer, it sure would help to have another income. So that among other things including the whole weight thing are keeping my spirits down and I don't know what will get me back to the point where I am ready to find a new plan that will work for the next 35lbs or so.

I see everyone who is successful on this site and envy their drive. I wish I had it.

04-06-2008, 11:59 AM
Take credit for maintaining your 35 pound weight loss for 6 months. :carrot: That's an awesome accomplishment. It is so easy when you're not seeing a loss to slide back into your old WOE and start gaining. You've successfully avoided this. What you've learned so far that's allowing you to maintain will stand you in good stead as you go forward.

It sounds like you have some solid ideas about what to do when you are ready to focus on losing again. The fact that you are discussing it here may be an indicator that you will be ready soon to make some of those changes.

Remember you don't have to change everything. Just pick one small thing and commit to make that change today. Perhaps it's as simple as making a healthier choice for dessert today. Whatever you decide, you know you can do it when you're ready. Best wishes.:hug:

04-06-2008, 12:04 PM
Hi Rakel! Good to see you again! Congrats on your marriage! Did you have a wonderful wedding???

Don't be so hard on yourself. You know what could have happened? You could have gained back 35 of those pounds plus another 20. I'm impressed you've maintained such a big loss. =D

Why not work slowly, and do one thing at a time? Like cut your dessert portion in half. Or, make a small goal to exercise for a little bit longer for a whole week? That might make you feel more in control. Having too much drive is dangerous, and you're apt to burn out.

04-06-2008, 12:23 PM
A 36 pound loss is significant, keep at it and you will meet your goal.

04-06-2008, 12:58 PM
Rakel, there are those of us who have it on this site, and those of us who struggle. You are not alone in this and you would be amazed at how many people actually have been in similar situations as you have been, the hard times, the depression, the not being there 100% for your own weight loss journey.

I think it's absolutely fantastic that you have maintained a 35lb loss! Not many people can actually say that! You know what my total weight loss has been since I re-started in 2006? Less than 10 pounds. I can look at it as pathetic or I can think to myself, I am STILL 10 pounds lighter than when I was at my heaviest. It's STILL 10 pounds that I do not have to try to get off again. I'm far away from where I want to be and my life/time schedule has been my crutch to not commit, but at the end of the day, I HAVE to take care of myself. I HAVE to do this for me. And when you are ready, you'll push further to get another 35 lbs loss. And you'll do it until you reach your ultimate goal.

You are NOT a failure. I felt like this several weeks ago and some great ladies here told me the same thing. You are NOT a failure. You have kept off 35lbs and that is something to be incredibly proud of. Do whatever you can, each and every day and when you are really ready and you don't have this extra stuff going on in your life, you WILL kick some butt and move downwards!

04-06-2008, 12:59 PM
I see everyone who is successful on this site and envy their drive. I wish I had it.

I have to tell ya, I used to think that too. I always wondered, how come they can do it and I can't? I would get up and try but then end up going back to the bag of cheetos. I just didn't have the drive. Well I still don't really have the "drive" to tell you the truth, but I think I am successful anyway. Somewhere along the line I discovered that I don't NEED drive, or even motivation, to lose weight. I just need action. I don't always feel like eating right or exercizing, but I just do it. I block out the emotions and force myself. It IS getting easier as I see results, but I just wanted you to know that you don't HAVE to wait for the light bulb moment or the big surge of motivation. If you can find things you love to eat that are healthy, that's a good start. If you can force yourself to walk or something a couple days a week, it will help.

People talk about being "ready" to lose but for me if I had waited until I was ready to give up pizza and binging, I would be 300+ by now. Sometimes the answer is to do it regardless of how you feel about it. Just an idea for you to consider. Only you know what is going to bring you happiness and contentment in your life! Good luck and I do hope you find it.

p.s.... I also maintained for several months over the winter. Sometimes the body (and mind) just want a break! Maintaining is better than gaining for sure.

04-06-2008, 01:48 PM
Rakel - So glad to see you here again! :hug: Congratulations on your wedding :D

Everyone else is quite right. You're a success! You've lost 35lbs, and have been able to maintian that loss for 6 WHOLE MONTHS! That's incredible!

Lyn has in mind what I was thinking. Sometimes we just have to fake it 'til we make it. Doing things & going through the motions even though we don't feel like it.

You can do this! We're all here for you! :cheer2:


04-06-2008, 03:11 PM
I KNOW you can get it together :cheer2:
Maintaining a loss is no small feat, and you've done it for six months. You've had some great practice for when you've lost all you want to lose!

I believe in you, now you just need to believe in yourself :yes:

On another note.....WEDDING details and pictures PLEASE!!!!!!!!



04-06-2008, 03:16 PM
Thanks for your words of encouragement everybody!

The wedding went great -- fast, but great :). It was really nice to see all of my family since they live so far away, and I got to reconnect with my aunt who I have not seen for about 12 years. She only lives 2 hours away from me now, so I think we'll have to get together sometime. I don't have pictures yet -- I made a deal with my photographer that we would exchange services. I have to finish her website before she'll give me the photos, which I wanted to do because I felt like it was fair :)

I think starting with 20 to 30 minutes of walking a day will be something easy for me to slip into in addition to some free weights. I'll try to do that without much alteration to my diet aside from perhaps instating a two bite rule with desserts.

04-06-2008, 03:30 PM
Rakel, I can sooo relate to you as I've struggled for 20+ YEARS. So though you may think of me as one who is successful and with drive, I am here to tell you that that wasn't always the case. Like I said, after struggling for 20+ years (I'll let you in a little secret, I sometimes still do) I finally "got it together" and after umpteen false starts finally became "successful". It only takes one single time to get it right. We get chance after chance. As many as it takes in fact. The past doesn't matter. It is not an indicator of the future. What you did yesterday doesn't matter. It's what you do today.

And for the record, I think you're incredibly successful. You've maitained a 35 lb loss for quite some time!!! Not an easy feat. You're obviously doing something right. Many things actually. Just work on it. Build on it. Better habits. Better choices. More consistiency. Go right back to what led you to lose the 35 lbs. Stricter. More tracking. Planning, planning and more planning. More awareness. Lose the sugary desserts. You said they are your downfall. So there you have it. Lose em'. They are doing you nothing. They may taste good, but the good ends there. You absolutely don't need them. After a couple of weeks without them you will be feeling wonderful and will barely miss them, if at all. You will be thrilled to pieces with the results and wonder why the heck you didn't elminate them sooner.

I know for sure, for sure that you can do this. There is ZERO doubt in my mind. ZERO. Losing weight is a doable thing and there is no reason in the world why you too can't do it. Make that commitment. You will never, ever regret getting down to healthy weight. Not for a single second. :hug:

04-06-2008, 04:12 PM
Hi Rakel,

Hello from Orlando. I don't have much to add to everyone else's great encouragement, but let me know if you're in the neighborhood and want to get together for coffee or something. I think sometimes it helps just to have someone to talk to who really understands.


04-06-2008, 07:41 PM
I think you are so close! You are already successful at maintaining - this is not an easy thing to master. I know I would not be able to do it without tracking and exercising. You know what needs to be done, just fake the drive, girl. You CAN DO THIS. Baby steps if ya gotta, start tracking or start exercising....:hug:

04-07-2008, 10:37 AM
:grouphug: When I used to really struggle with this whole weight loss thing I too would be like you and envy everyone on here who it seemed like the weight was just falling off them. After finally giving up trying to lose weight (and gaining it all back plus some) I finally realized that I can't compare myself to anyone—not here and not IRL. I am my own person with my own set of biology, life experiences, and even expectations. I know that what works for me won't work for most. I share my experiences though because there may be that one person out there who is similar to me and could really help.

With that said, I've been on an anti-depressant for almost 6 months. I sure as heck wish I would've done it a lot sooner. I feel so much better about myself, about life, am able to be a more balanced person because of it. I don't see it as a weakness because I had to get medication to help me, I see it as a tool that is helping me to keep focused. I still go to the doctor monthly to discuss my dosage, life, etc. I expressed concerns about being on it long-term and she wasn't concerned. (Plus I've done my own research on it.) If you are struggling with your depression, there is help out there—and it's not super expensive. (My generic prozac is $4 a month for 30 pills at wally world. :D)

:bravo: :woohoo: :broc: :cheer: for your maintaining the 35 pound loss in six months. Like the others have said, not many people can claim that honor. I know I can't.

04-07-2008, 11:41 AM
You have definately gotten some good advice here. Remember everyone here is rooting for you! If you have learned that tracking is what you need to do, then put it into action! I love the adding a 20-30 minute walk in everyday. Every little bit helps! You have done a wonderful job at maintaining, if you can do that you can do anything!

04-07-2008, 11:56 AM
Hi - You are down over 30 pounds!! That is awesome. I feel like you do, but I'm only down 2 pounds, maybe 3 depending on the scale. I also look at everyone's ticker and wish for the day mine moves down, but I know I have to stick to it. I saw someone quote something along the lines of "If you change nothing, then nothing changes". So I know I need to change something. One of the things I've changed is I keep coming here for inspiration. And this week I'll add some exercise.
You are one of my inspirations Rakel, keep coming back so I can hear how you are doing!

08-14-2009, 06:31 PM
Dearest Rakel, It was so great seeing you this past week. I wish we would of had more time together while you were here visiting. It was hard to see you go this morning. I hope that you will see this post. You told me about 3FatChicks a while ago but I never joined. I'm here now...since August 6, 2009. Please meet me here...we can do this together. I LOVE YOU!!! :hug: :love: MOM

08-14-2009, 09:54 PM
AWWW! :)

Hi Rakel's Momma! Welcome :hug:

Now, come on back, girl!


08-14-2009, 10:05 PM
Thanks for the welcome Linda! :)

08-14-2009, 10:33 PM
How's Rakel doing? In fact there's a lot of people from this thread I miss seeing around here.

08-15-2009, 12:47 AM
Rakel is doing great. The job that she started before her and John's wedding has been great for her...she got a nice raise a couple of months ago. She was here for a visit and I wish I could of had a little time with just her and myself. Here is a picture of her taken on August 9th with her sister and brothers. :)


10-06-2009, 01:50 PM
Wow! People still remember me! :)

As my mom said, I've been doing fairly well, but not on the weight loss front. I've actually gained back all of the weight I lost. I started walking at the mall once a week with a friend to get some momentum going. Slowly but surely I'm adding other key ingredients to this recipe for weight loss. Yesterday I started my food journal on the Daily Plate again, and though I went a bit over my goal, I know I ate less than I have been so it's a move in the right direction. Today I will do better. I am going to a bridal shower tonight so this will be a great test of my willpower as I know there will most likely be junk food.

I know that I can only take this one step at a time. I know that I always get caught up in the fact that I need to lose over 100 pounds, so I'm trying to forget about that and just focus on maybe losing 10 this month. The first time I started this, I lost around 20 the first month alone, but I don't expect that to happen again. One step at a time.

10-06-2009, 02:32 PM
one step
one day
one bite...
one second at a time.

Whatever gets you through. I am glad that you are back!!!!

10-06-2009, 02:39 PM
Hi!!! I'm so glad you've returned.

I know that I always get caught up in the fact that I need to lose over 100 pounds, so I'm trying to forget about that and just focus on maybe losing 10 this month.

I personally wouldn't worry or focus about any numbers whatsoever. Not how much you need to lose overall, not how much you can lose in a week, a month, a whatever.

What I WOULD focus on, are the behaviors. Get those new eating behaviors established. Start forming new eating habits and patterns. Start weeding out the poor eating habits and bringing in new healthy ones. Start forming strategies and skills to get you through each and every obstacle that you face. Make yourself some rules, set yourself some boundaries. Find ways to make a healthy lifestyle sustainable and permanent for yourself. And enjoyable.

Because you see, once you do those things, the weight will come off. All of it. It's a have to.

Out with the old - in with the new!!! I look forward to hearing of your progress. :)

10-06-2009, 02:53 PM
Hi Rakel,

Welcome back. You can do this!
I know that I can only take this one step at a time. I know that I always get caught up in the fact that I need to lose over 100 pounds, so I'm trying to forget about that and just focus on maybe losing 10 this month. The first time I started this, I lost around 20 the first month alone, but I don't expect that to happen again. One step at a time.

I know that your Mom is on here but I am also going to give you some motherly advice. Don't look at that 100 pounds. Don't set a time goal for losing that 10 pounds because if you lose 9 pounds that month, you may feel unsuccessful. Take your own advice and take this one day at a time. Break your loss down into manageable goals, 10 pounds would be good. One year from now you will be one year older. You can be a year older and weigh less than you do now or you can be a year older and weigh the same or more. Any loss is success. What do you need to do today to meet your goal?

You can do this!

10-06-2009, 03:13 PM
Welcome back darling...I LOVE YOU!!! We each have over 100 pounds to lose. It is too overwhelming to look at the whole picture...we need to just focus on one day at a time.

10-06-2009, 04:55 PM
Welcome back darling...I LOVE YOU!!! We each have over 100 pounds to lose. It is too overwhelming to look at the whole picture...we need to just focus on one day at a time.

This is so amazingly sweet! I am just a little misty over this wonderful lady's words for her equally wonderful daughter. Awwww.
What a great support team! :hug:

10-06-2009, 07:47 PM
Hi Rakel and Rakel's mom!!!

Of course we remember you! You can do it.

10-06-2009, 08:24 PM
Hello Rakel and welcome back! Also, a very warm welcome to your mom, fcinzion!

Please don't let the amount you want to lose overwhelm you. I found it really helpful to take it ten pounds at a time. I rewarded myself with something small every time I hit that goal. It made it much more manageable for me.

10-06-2009, 09:01 PM
Rakel! Welcome back. I was wondering about you the other day.

10-06-2009, 10:14 PM
Hello! Just wanted to agree that focussing on the final goal can be counter productive, as can putting time goals on weights. Focus on constant improvement, and moving the scale in the right direction. Don't put your life on hold till you hit goal, life is the journey.

10-06-2009, 10:47 PM
:DRakel be kind to yourself. Please start building yourself up, instead of putting yourself down. You've come so far, believe that you can go even farther.
For most of us, this is a challenge for our lifetime, not just for the moment and like every other part of life it has it's ups and downs. Continue to make your healthy food choices. Learn from what you consider mistakes. Make a habit of taking a walk with that special love in your life, hold hands, discuss your dreams, your hardships, make plans and stratagies to handle what life is bringing to you in your life. You'll find it'll make your relationship and your weight loss stronger.
Make NOW a happy time. A positive attitude can make the toughest times successful and a negative attitude can make the tough times even tougher.

10-06-2009, 10:54 PM
You guys are phenomenal. Really. I haven't posted here in months, but you guys are like pillars for me. You are my role models.

RockinRobin: Just when I thought I heard it all before, you really put things into perspective for me. I definitely have a self-discipline problem so your comment on RULES stood out -- not that I want to make a list of a billion rules on how to live my life, but setting some boundaries would be good.

time2lose & tai: I didn't necessarily mean that I would feel like a failure if I didn't lose 10lbs this month, but focusing on losing 10lbs is a lot easier than 100, like Tai said. I think it would help me to focus on losing 10 lbs at a time. It's a lot more manageable.

Rhonda: Aww :)

Mom: thank you for all of your encouragement... we can do this :)

OK, now I feel like I can take on the world... :carrot: except I could have done a little better at the bridal shower tonight. I'm going to attempt to put it in the Daily Plate. :o **edit** ... well, looks like I went about 360 calories over. And even despite that I'm still a bit hungry, because it wasn't like an actual dinner that would fill you up, just little snacks that are high in calories, but nothing other than water is passing through these lips tonight!