Weight Loss Support - I'm afraid of the attention...
04-06-2008, 02:06 AM
I have been realizing lately a small roadblock to wanting to lose weight for me.
I am afraid of getting a lot of attention if I lose weight. Comments from people about how good I look, how did I do it, etc.
The last time I lost a lot of weight I got so much attention for it. Then I gained it back and I think it made me feel worse remembering how proud people were of me.
I am afraid of the weight loss attention again.
It worries me for a number of reasons: 1. Looking back on these heavy days and thinking people were disappointed in me. 2. Fear of gaining the weight again and being a further disappointment.
Does anyone have the same feelings?
And do you have any suggestions for helping me get to a point where I care less what others think?
04-06-2008, 02:17 AM
Oh honey, I worry about what people think too. I think that for me, my health means more to me than other people's comments and queries at this point, and I would rather think ahead for what I am going to say to others, rather than put off my weight loss. Don't worry what others think: consider your Emily Dickinson quote, and the possibilities of the rest of your life!
04-06-2008, 10:31 AM
The exact same thing happens to me. I had lost a lot of weight in 2006, then put it all back on. And I've even avoided seeing people who haven't seen me since then.
But like Audrey said, I'm getting to the point of not caring what they think. I'm fighting to lose the weight again, this time changing my lifestyle, it's been going slow, but I'm doing this for my health and well being, not for anybody else.
Focus on you, you are the most important person right now. I know it's hard, but try not to worry about other people.
Good luck! :hug:
04-06-2008, 10:45 AM
I've done the same thing repeatedly. Lost a lot of weight. People say how good you look. Then gain all the weight back and more usually. It is one of the factors that keeps me isolating from people.
I also don't mention to anyone about trying to lose weight or the fact that I've lost weight. When eating with other people or offered food, I just tell people I'm not eating sugar or white flour.
Even to myself, I tell myself my new way of eating is also for my bipolar, not only for losing weight. I'm tell myself that I feel better being out of the loop of binging on junkfood just for today and that is enough right now. The weight loss is a bonus. I don't want to disappoint myself either.
It is really hard for me not to think of what other people think of my weight. I always imagine that people think how horrible I am, that I make a pig of myself with food, etc. I know it is very self-centered thinking, like I am not that important in other people's lives. I'm an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. I've heard often that what other people think of me is none of my business anyways. Maybe, someday, I'll reach this attitude.
04-06-2008, 10:57 AM
I'm cutting and pasting a part of Oreo's post because there is a ton of wisdom in just a few words ....
I know it is very self-centered thinking ... I am not that important in other people's lives
Sad but true ... just like me, most people are worried about themselves. They don't really have much 'thought room' for me. It's not that we aren't important, we are but ... other people are just busy thinking about themselves too.
04-07-2008, 04:40 PM
I'm an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. I've heard often that what other people think of me is none of my business anyways. Maybe, someday, I'll reach this attitude.
And to further quote oreokitty... Wow, this describes me perfectly.
My egomania and consumption with what others think has sent me over the edge in both directions. I've starved my way to the 120s because I thought my boyfriend thought I was fat; thus, wrecking my body and making gaining back up to 170 a seemingly overnight occurrence.
As for the attention, I'm with you. It is scary. I'm constantly thinking everyone thinks I'm acting a fool around food, be it too much or too little. I think I project what I expect people to think onto them, regardless of how they really do feel.
So it's time to stop worrying about it. I would love to truly submit to others' opinions being none of my business!!
I really love the above posters ideas on health. There's nothing more personal than that, and that's the most important component of weight loss.
04-09-2008, 01:41 AM
I have been telling myself that excuse for years! I have used it so not to lose weight. I don't want to lose the weight and have all this great attention then what if I gain it back? Women are brutal!!!!! I'm a hairstylist and more than once a client has walked out and the comments start " oh did you see how much weight she's gained" "She lost so much and gained it all back, poor thing" yada yada yada. I walk away because I can't stand that kind of negative talk.
Something clicked, actually last night while I was searching the web about weight loss. A word of advice from someone about keeping yourself on track, after losing weight.... They said the best way, once you hit your goal, is to weigh yourself once a week. No more. If you see yourself 3 lbs over your goal, then it's time to throw in an extra workout or cutback on a few things for a few days. Take it week by week to keep yourself on track.
Once I get to my goal, that's what I plan on doing. Hope that helps!! :)