[VermontMom]

Sometimes it takes hearing someone else's problems to make you feel that you don't have it so bad...

I was picking my car up from the mechanic (sole small business owner) and he told me he couldn't do work for me anymore; he was selling (auctioning off all his equipment) and going to work for a repair shop.

Somehow in the conversation, he told me he was a recovering alcoholic, and he was on day 10 of sobriety. He also told me how much debt he had, how worried his wife was, that his 18 yr old son was living somewhere in town but hated his dad All this from a man that I barely said "hello" and
thank you" to!

It was very obvious that he was needed to talk to someone. He spoke to me of race cars he had built, of his other interests, of how proud of his daughters he was, of how sad that he felt he messed up his relationship with his son.

This is hard to believe, but I arrived at his shop at 3:45 this afternoon...and I left at 6:30 Two hours and 45 minutes I stood, listening, nodding, just saying a word now and then. I was COLD (he keeps the shop at like 62, I saw the indoor thermostadt) and I was HUNGRY (didn't have my afternoon snack). At least I didn't have to go to the bathroom.

But I just sensed that he really, really needed to talk, about anything. And he said that a hard part of his sobriety was 'empty' time; time when he wasn't actively working on a car, that he wanted to drink. And that having to give up his business must have been really hard for him.

When he finally realized the time and said he would 'let me go' I shook his hand and thanked him for his work in the past, and wished him luck in his sobriety and for the new job. When he finally said 'bye" I heard his voice break a bit. I hope so much he makes it.

So it made me feel like I am very lucky to not have to deal with a drinking problem; that I am thankful that I am on a med that seems to be working for me; that sticking to trying to eat right and exercise is not near as hard as trying not to drink.

[shelby897]

You did an awesome thing -- which only cost you a bit of time to allow someone to just air his concerns. I know that my husband will sometimes hold back on things because he doesn't want to appear weak or worry me -- that gentleman must have felt relief being able to talk to an uninvolved individual and who knows, you may have even helped him make some serious decisions about his life.

[Leenie]

Your a good soul Holly

I truly believe when we are put in situations like that it is for a reason.

The ability to listen without making judgments is a spiritual gift IMHO. I'm glad you were there for him and remember acts like that do not go unnoticed

Leenie

[mj5]

WOW! By listening to him, you probably helped him more than you will ever know!

[oreokitty]

In the Big Book of AA, it is written that we stay well by helping another alcoholic. You might not be an alcoholic, but I believe it still helped you stay well. In the 12 & 12 step book, they call it "self-forgetting". It's all good. Of course, just being nice and taking the time to listen to someone is good karma (in non-AA vernacular). Good for you.
Amy

[Amarie2pt0]

That was a beautiful thing you did. Your time and willingness to listen was a wonderful gift you gave that man. Can I add something to your list of reflctions about your lot? You are so lucky to be a good person who takes comfort in helping others! In this world that is no little thing.

Thank you so much for sharing.

[VermontMom]

Thanks ladies, for listening and for the nice comments - I need them, I've been beating myself up alot lately.

to all brothers and sisters

[emmyroo]

That's really amazing that you were willing to do that. The power of having someone listen sympathetically, and the power of the thoughts and mental support you're still sending his way, have the power to change lives.

You go, girl!