100 lb. Club - Sometimes People Disgust Me




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PaulaM
03-25-2008, 12:45 AM
I walked for several miles, then husband wanted to go to a nearby town shopping. We walked for several more miles. We parked in a garage and were on the 4th floor. By the time we returned to the garage we were both tired and ready to go home. All these people were coming down the stairs, and we pushed the elevator button to ride up. A group of young men came down, stopped by us, one said "the stairs are right there!" in a nasty tone. We just looked at them, but I was thinking what is with this younger generation, they think they can just say anything to anybody. My husband is 62, and I'm fat, these boys had no idea if we were disabled, recovering from surgery etc. How dare they make a remark like that. I know I've heard lots worse, but just needed to vent. Thanks for listening LOL. I guess I got mad cause I'd already done a lot of exercise that day, and all they saw was the fat lady.


HarpoChicoGroucho
03-25-2008, 01:05 AM
:hug: Sorry Paula. Don't let a group of idiotic teenagers take away from your great accomplishments of the day. You should be proud.

I got a couple of "looks" when my mom and I would pull into the handicapped stalls when I was recovering from my surgery, UNTIL they saw my walker or crutches. They saw two young, healthy looking women so I'm sure they thought we were abusing the tag (which I still have by the way and haven't used since I ditched my crutches). It kind of put things in a different perspecitve when you actually have the roles reversed. I used to wonder about people who took escalators, elevators, etc. when they LOOKED capable of using stairs, but I don't anymore. I still can't do many stairs, so I'm still riding elevators. No one has said anything rude to me, but after what I've been through, I'm sure I'd have something to say back.

THE Heather
03-25-2008, 01:29 AM
Sometimes, I wish I could apologize for my generation. I really do. The biggest majority of "kids" my age are insensitive and feel as though they can say whatever they want, almost like verbal diahrrea. It's disgusting in all honesty. I know, when I was in high school, I got alot of fat jokes because of my obvious weight. I took the stairs just like they did, but because I was a bigger girl, they felt the need to poke fun. When I was in the lunch line, they would make fun of me if I got the most healthy thing on the menu, or the most fattening thing. It was the fat that I was the "fat girl" and I was eating. Fat girls get hungry too ya know?

I'm sorry it happened. I really am. People really can be insensitive, and you're right...they don't know exactly WHY you were taking the elevator. They just see things and as I said before...verbal diahrrea seems to just come out.

:hug:


JasonsLea
03-25-2008, 03:11 AM
I agree with what Heather said. I think this is why I hang out with mostly older people. Folks my age make me wanna strangle them!

math puppy
03-25-2008, 03:34 AM
people can be so rude. not just the young ones. sorry that happen, i bet they are the kind of kids that thing they have all the answers. they'll learn.

Sassy_Chick
03-25-2008, 04:05 AM
This has happened to my mil and my DH.

My mil is disabled, but you can't tell unless you see her up close, she wears a brace on her leg, but you can't see it from far away, as its under her clothes, but you can tell if you get close. Anyways. I took her to the grocery store one day, we were in the checkout, when an older couple (maybe in their mid 50's early 60's) came up to my mil asking her if she was through with her motorized shopping cart. The man did have a broken leg, but he just assumed that my mil did not need that cart. She did get up, even though she cannot walk very far at all. When he saw her get up, then he saw her leg brace, etc. Then they said "nevermind" and walked away, you could tell they were embarrassed, my mil even told them that they could have it, that he needed it. But finally a manager found another cart for him to use.

After my DH had his gallbladder removed, he used one to stop and get his medicine. He wanted to go in to get a few things because it would be a while before he would get out again. I told him he could, as long as he got one of those motorized carts. So he did. Boy did we get the dirty looks. Mostly from older people thinking he was using it just because he didn't want to walk.

I have a bad back and there have been several times where I could have used one, but I NEVER will because of how people are. If you have a bad back, there is no way that someone would know that by looking at you, unless you were wearing a huge back brace OUTSIDE your clothing. Fact is, there are all differint kinds of disabilities, injuries, etc. Some you can blantly see (a broken leg, etc) and some you can't. That doesn't mean that the person is not in need of that service. I admit some people do abuse this and that is wrong and makes it really bad for those who do need it. But all in all, I do not see why people can't have more compassion.

Anywho, off of my :soap: now. So sorry that you had to have that happen.

:hug:

Lovely
03-25-2008, 08:34 AM
People like that are simply a reminder to the rest of the open-minded, kind-hearted and closed-mouthed world that there's a reason we're all open-minded, kind-hearted & closed-mouthed. We simply do not know what a person is going through just by looking at them.

Yes, they were stupid young boys, and it's a shame they haven't learned the greatest lesson yet to be taught "MYOB!". I can't say it's just my generation, though, because there are plenty of middle-aged, and older people who are just as inconsiderate & vocal about what they think. Maybe it's genetic ;)

I sometimes feel annoyed that the decent people have to learn all the lessons from what others do to them, while the ones doing the "doing" never learn, continue to say mean things, continue to be selfish & self-centered, and continue to be useless bits of flesh on earth. But, such is life, right?

Either way, they were a bunch of rude, strange, young boys. No one cares what they think, because I'm sure it's usually of little substance.

MamaToTomAndAlex
03-25-2008, 09:26 AM
Ack.....

I'm sooo sorry this happened to you. I have two young boys and I really do fear for their generation. *sigh*

LisaF
03-25-2008, 09:50 AM
Heather - don't think it's just your generation. Things were exactly like that when I was in high school, too. I believe that teenagers can be obnoxious in general, but also that they have less restraint about saying what they're thinking. People my age have just learned to keep it to themselves and then make fun of the person later.

THE Heather
03-25-2008, 09:59 AM
Heather - don't think it's just your generation. Things were exactly like that when I was in high school, too. I believe that teenagers can be obnoxious in general, but also that they have less restraint about saying what they're thinking. People my age have just learned to keep it to themselves and then make fun of the person later.

I know that teenagers throughout all generations were and probably will always obnoxious. It just seems that this generation isn't learning to keep things to themselves. They just come out and say it. I even notice it in the old people of my generation. Grant it, I'm only 20, but even I know that some comments you just need to keep to yourself.

Sandi
03-25-2008, 10:03 AM
:hug:

Janis427
03-25-2008, 10:07 AM
At least it was strangers that said that.. MY own DH said something to me once and I will NEVER forget it. He dropped me off at the supermarket and he went and waited in the truck. When I came out, he was like really far away. When I got there with 3 bags of groceries, I said why didnt you park on the next street over? (sarcarism). He said "why, are you afraid of a little exercise? I dont think I spoke to him for a week after that remark!

findingfawn
03-25-2008, 10:08 AM
I'm sorry you had to deal with that! My husband and I talk all the time how rude people are these days. Honestly it doesn't just seem to be the younger generation either. No one says please or thank you. No one says excuse me or bless you. Then if you say bless you to some one who has just sneezed you tend to get dirty looks! Society has become very rude and I'm afraid it will only get worse.

scoobie74
03-25-2008, 10:10 AM
I am sorry that this happened to you. I can't stand when people do this! Around here, it all ages (some as young as 7 or 8 and then as old as in their 80's). I am hoping that my son will learn and will remember all the values that I am teaching him and will never do something to hurt another person or to assume things about another person. You are a wonderful person!

sarahdafiregal
03-25-2008, 10:25 AM
:hug:I'm so sorry! You're too good of a person to let this bother you. Remember...They Don't Matter!!!!!!;)

I too have noticed that people, in general, are rude. When I say please and thank you to waitresses, they are usually surprised.:eek:

Noelani
03-25-2008, 11:54 AM
I find in general that people can't just plain ol' mind their own business. No matter what the situation, if you just focus on yourself and your own actions then the world would be a better place. Instead people feel the need to push their thoughts, feelings and beliefs on others. Whether it be about exercise or religion or eating habits, so on and so forth. Those teenagers really shouldn't have butted their nose into it, but I think in the end you did the right thing. Giving them a dirty look, or firing back at them is what they want. It gives them recognition and reward for their poor behavior.

Just feel good about the fact that you and your DH accomplished all that exercise and that you know the uppity teenagers don't have the knowledge you do and they did a swift "open mouth insert foot" maneuver whether they know it or not. :)

Hopefulpinkangel
03-25-2008, 04:56 PM
Oh my gosh people are so rude! I'm sorry that you had to deal with that.

PaulaM
03-26-2008, 11:29 PM
I think you have all summed it up nicely. It's true, people say too many things to strangers. I know I sound like an old lady but what did happen to manners? I NEVER respond to people who say things like that to me in public, unfortunately these days you never know who is carrying a gun and would hit you etc. It's a shame.

chickybird
03-27-2008, 12:05 AM
What little snots!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm pretty young, but I have a pretty bad back (My dr. told me if I ever got pregnant, I'd be on bed rest the whole time, and my back would probably never recover enough to have two kids!).
I get weird looks from people because I go down stairs so slowly, and I INSIST on holding onto the handrail. I have fallen down concrete stairs and done serious damage, but people don't realize that. They just see a young healthy woman who won't lift the 40 pound bags of cat food, or help lift furniture.
Just remember, some day those little jerks will be old, bald, and pudgy someday. I hope that makes you smile!

deirdre
03-27-2008, 12:30 PM
I am sorry ,it's a fact that the yonger genaration are rude but not all of them are like that. I would ground my kids if they were rude to anyone. Also i know people my age who can be spitfull. A woman i know said terrible things about myself and a friend about our weight she said it was our fault for eating to much and that there was no excuse to be overweight to make it worse she said it at a meeting infront off other people we did not know. I have to say i put her in her place and said there were many resons for being overweight and it was nothing to do with her.:mad:

Sgirl
03-27-2008, 01:14 PM
PaulaM, I COMPLETELY agree about the remark "what happened to manners?" I'm 26 and thought that being raised about using manners was "normal", then I move out of my family home 7 years ago into the world and realize that I am the strange one. I'm strange because I say, "excuse me" instead of shoving someone out of the way in the grocery store and say "please" and "thank you" to service people if the cook makes a mistake with my food instead of shouting at them like they are bad people for making an error. I don't know what the reason is for the loss of manners, I've read things saying we're turning into a more anonymous society with the internet and tint in car windows meaning people rarely see faces when they communicate. So basically people aren't getting the facial cues or voice intonation and we underestimate how important these aspects are to communication. People can both misinterpret the tone someone intended in a piece of writing AND get away with saying something rude and not ever have to be held accountable. So often parents don't witness their children being rude and cannot consequence them for it and as the theory goes the more often the behaviour goes unconsequenced the more it will occur. I know, psych grad here, so I can get a little over-analytical at times LOL. Fortunately parents are getting wise and better with computers and are beginning to be able to consequence these behaviours and teachers are too. Also things like "emot-icons" and ID tags are helping move the internet generation into a more honest and accountable arena. Every time in history when there is a major global initiative it changes society to the core, just like when the printing press was invented and the middle class started to form, the internet has had a great impact on our social world and is happening too fast for those of us experiencing it first hand to recognize, but in the end, hopefully things will balance themselves out. (reading this back I realize I am a HUGE nerd). Anyway, in the end, people always get held accountable for their actions ,we just don't always get to witness it. The more that boy continues to be rude and get away with it the more cocky and arrogant he'll get, meaning he will be less and less cautious and one day he's gonna anger the wrong person and he's gonna get his butt wooped!--But unfortunately you probably won't get to see it...but picturing it should be fun!!! All the best!

SeaWave
03-27-2008, 02:12 PM
I agree with what so many have said - manners seem to have become a rarity. I remember in the first trimester of my pregnancy, I was feeling very weak. I took the elevator one day, at my OB-Gyn's building - a three-story building with only one small elevator. I held the door for another woman who was coming in on crutches, and instead of thanking me, she gave me a speech about how I was taking up space that someone who needed it could use (there was no one else waiting for the elevator). I told her I was sorry she was feeling so stressed and then just stared in the other direction, trying not to cry. I also wound up spending six weeks in bed, unable to get up to the bathroom without help, on doctors orders. I'm sure many, if not all of us, have similar examples. Sometimes I just don't get people... and I remind myself that their bad manners are a reflection of them, not of me, and I try to let it go.

momof4girls
03-27-2008, 02:13 PM
Im sorry you had to go thru that. Some people are so stupid and need to think before they talk...especially kids.

famograham
03-27-2008, 05:47 PM
This kind of thing ticks me off to NO end!!!

My kids have been taught to respect others and use their manner since birth! Often, they won't remember to use them with US, but we're their parents so I guess that's to be expected...
HOWEVER, my kids are always, ALWAYS polite, kind and compassionate when it comes to anyone else.
There would be some serious **** to pay if I ever caught, or heard of, my kids being unkind to anyone! But luckily, all my mothering seems to have sunk in, and I don't think that will ever happen :crossed:

I'm so sorry that happened to you, no fun at all!
:hug:
Linda

SouthLake
03-27-2008, 11:29 PM
Ugh. I hate people like that. I'm only 22, but have a REALLy bad back that alternates in between being "normal" for awhile and then going to extreme pain. At one point, right after an additional injury, I could hardly walk. I couldn't get up from a seated position, and I used the handicap stall. When I opened the door, a very unhappy looking older woman proceeded to sigh and loudly announce to the rest of the ladies in line that my generation obviously had no idea that handicap stalls weren't designed for lazy people but people who really needed them etc., etc. She rapidly shut her mouth when my friend came over to assist me in walking to the sink. (It was my first time out of the house and walking more than a few feet in two weeks)

I hate that people make assumptions about people without knowing.

cephalopod gal
03-28-2008, 03:00 PM
Augh why are people so ugly? :( That makes me reeeal sad.

Generally, I like to think I'm a pretty well-mannered person... excpet for this one time... my mom and I were at the grocery store, and I was getting milk from the lil refrigerator thing, and I backed out of it to get around the door. Ya know. Normal procedure. (Haha) Well, this woman had sneaked up behind me, and I accidentally bumped into her. Before I could even say "I'm sorry" or "Excuse me," she literally yells "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" (Mind you, this woman is older than my mom... haha)

Well, after being yelled at by a complete stranger for a simple accident, I blurted, "I'm sorry, I'm not wearing my glasses for the eyes in the back of my freakin' HEAD." (Not the best way to handle it, I know), but that woman was just completely dumbfounded. I thought for sure my mom was going to get after me, but she just stifled a laughter and pushed our cart away so she could laugh out loud. Anyway, I hope that taught her a lesson that maybe she shouldn't be such a bi-ya ha ha. :)

But yeah, that behavior of those boys was completely uncalled for. I hope they got stuck in the elevator.

Ookpik
03-28-2008, 11:24 PM
I am sorry this happened to you. I have had comments of this type from people who range in age from 3 or 4 to the elderly. Some people think their opinions are welcome, and that total strangers are actually interested in hearing what they have to say. I agree with what some of the others have been saying...they will get their comeuppance sometime.

Steelslady
03-29-2008, 08:11 PM
A lot of this is due to poor parenting, in my opinion.

I have a 14 year old son. The other day, he saw the Home Economics teacher leave several bags at the entry way, then go park her car. Now, he could have just into my car and leave, as the school was on a two hour delay, but we didn't know about it, hence why we were there. My kids are homeschooled, but take some classes at the high school. He was there for his Spanish class.

Anyhow, he waited for the teacher to come back to the entry way, grabbed up four of the heaviest bags, and helped recruit another kid (who also didn't know about the two hour delay :lol:) to help bring the rest of them in, so she had a bowl and one light bag to bring in. I smiled and waved at the teacher (my daughter had her last year for cooking class, so she remembered me). She told me what a doll he was for offering to help, and that the other kid as well was a nice kid. The Home Economics class was at the end of the building, so it was a long walk. Bless her heart for doing this every week without help!

After that, we went shopping at the grocery store. An elderly lady dropped her purse, and the contents spilled out of it. She had a cane and was obviously struggling, poor lady. My son picked up the bag, put the stuff back in it, handed it to her and smiled. She couldn't thank him enough.

Another time, there was a man who was trying to get his wheel chair out of the back of the SUV at a school event. My son went right over and got it for him. Another time, a different man had his young son with him. The kid struggled to get the wheelchair back in the car, along with the groceries. My son went over and helped the both of them, even shutting the trunk door.

How did he get this way? I taught him and my daughter's class and manners. I've had people tell me what a great kid he is, the things he's done when I'm not around to help struggling people or other kids, and it's because he learned from home what kindness, compassion, class, and manners is.

Now, he's no angel, he's all boy. But one thing I am proud of him for is that he would never say such a cruel thing to anyone, because I've taught him and his sisters to never judge a book by it's cover. They all have been taught since they were little just because you can't see someone's handicap or disability, it doesn't mean that there isn't one and to never be rude, only helpful if someone needs assistance. Or that they may have just had surgery and can't do the things they'd like to do as fast as the rest of us. We just never know what others are struggling through and have no right to judge others.

I find all too often these days that parents make excuses for their kids rudeness. The "kids will be kids!" line is so old and tiring to hear. I've seen kids making fun of other kids right in front of their parent's faces, and the parents do nothing about it. My kids knew/know better than to make fun of anyone- to me, that is just not acceptable.

I've also seen my kids do nice things for people, and them being rude in return without so much as a thank you or a nod. So, it's not just kids that are rude, adults can be nasty or classless as well.

I'm so sorry you went through this Paula. Shame on those boys for being rude.

jamsk8r
03-30-2008, 06:07 PM
Well said! I was raised on southern manners, and I've raised my son the same way. I know there are many, many rude adults, so I can't say it's one generation, but it does seem to get worse as time goes on.

PaulaM
03-30-2008, 11:49 PM
I don't have kids, so I probably shouldn't comment, but so many of the parents I know seem to want to be "buddies" and not parents. The kids run the house. I prefer the old stricter days like when I was growing up.

Sgirl
03-31-2008, 10:13 PM
Im sorry you had to go thru that. Some people are so stupid and need to think before they talk...especially kids.

Are those your kids? Can I just say they are just about the prettiest little girls I've ever seen? Way to be a healthy mom, what a great example you and the other moms are setting for your kids! I hope to be a good mom in the future too (no kiddies just yet) Congrats!

Ophelia924
03-31-2008, 11:50 PM
I am only 28 yo but have a brain disorder which sometimes causes severe weakness in my left leg and slight weakness in my left armto the point where just getting up and down from a seated position is extremely difficult. At its worst I even need someone to help lift me upright. I hate when I am in public places and am having a bad time and must use the handicap stalls in restrooms. Being so young I get the weirdest looks. I have a walker for when times are really bad but they are such a pain in public places and honestly I really hate using the damn thing.