I'm totally excited right now!! Let me begin my tale of success 10 years ago, the first time I strapped sneakers on my feet and took to the streets to prove to myself that I COULD jog, that I was NOT bound to strolling or moseying for the rest of my life.
I failed. I cried.
I have asthma, as well as a nasty addiction to cigarettes (a love/hate relationship that I've been dealing with since age 12). I detested physical activity, and gym class was always a nightmare. It's just that I was never really fat, just doughy, perhaps chubby. I had a body that looked like it was capable of physical activity, it just didn't feel like it to me.
But then, at age 17, with prom looming and body issues taking their thrones in my spirit, I wanted to prove that I could be an athlete, that I could develop that physical part of me that was so ignored.
And that was when I tried to jog, failed, and cried.
Soon after, I joined a gym. I took to the elliptical, I loved the stairmaster, I was a fiend on the weight circuit. Still, the treadmill was never my friend
, and I still struggled every time I tried to jog outdoors. I felt that runners inhabited a world that I could not enter, that despite having lost 20 lbs and being relatively active, jogging was something I would never master. That did not stop me from setting it as a goal for myself, and I continued to push myself breathlessly on the track or the treadmill, always wondering why I was so, so tired...
I've been up and down in the 10 years since, sometimes still working at the gym habit, sometimes spending more time in front of the fridge, and my body reflected those behaviors.bLately (with much thanks to 3FC) I've been on a good streak, and recently set myself the familiar "I'm gonna run a 5K" goal.
AND TODAY I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not a real race, mind you, but I finished 5K on the treadmill at the gym today, jogging/running the whole way!
Turns out the reason I couldn't jog for all those years was because I was running. I never let myself do a pleasant speed, always pushed it up to 6.2 mph on the treadmill, figuring that was a jogging speed. I may never be able to finish a 5K at that speed, and I am FINE with that -- I just jogged 5K at an avg of 5.5 mph and I could not be happier!!! This realization, and the feeling of success that has come with it, of course has stretched into metaphors for the rest of my life, but that's not the point here. I just I probably could have been entering 5Ks for years, finished towards the end, but yes, I could have finished. That is AMAZING! I am in the club!!!
Seriously, this is really thanks to 3FC. Biggest NSV yet. Thank you thank you thank you
S