Weight Loss Support - I'm so frustrated !!!!!

View Full Version : I'm so frustrated !!!!!

03-16-2008, 04:13 PM
I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm 30, 5'8'', and I'm the heaviest i've ever been.... 345. I work full-time during the day and make dinner for my husband and myself afterwards an I'm just exhausted all the time. i have no energy to exercise and my knees and lower back hurt all the time. how do i lose weight? I hate feeling this horrible. i'm not happy at all like this but yet i'm stuck. i need help bigtime :(
Any thoughts?

03-16-2008, 04:21 PM
Hiya Softykins!

How about starting small? Changing something, anything, that will make this journey easier for you.

So... you say you're cooking dinner for yourself & your husband. What are you making? Maybe you could make sure that you have a full serving of vegetables with every dinner you make. And you could do that for a week or two before trying to change another thing.

Perhaps you'd prefer to know what you're eating? Take a notebook with you, and write down everything that you eat for a day. No judging or changing yet, just watching & observing. That gives you a good basis for change later on, and it's a good habit to start.

Are you drinking enough water? Sometimes we're hungry when we're really thirsty. It's good to make sure we're getting in the water that we need for a day. It's one of the easiest changes to make (IMO) and it does make a difference.

You CAN do this.

03-16-2008, 04:34 PM
My first bit of advice is to start small. Sometimes, we when we want to lose weight, we want to get gung ho with it and we poop out with frustration before we even start!

Tracking food -- and actually knowing what you're eating -- is huge! It really opens your eyes to what you're eating and allows you to keep track of your fruit and veggies.

Water is a small change that is pretty simple to put into play, if you're concious of it. If you're a soda drinker, this might be a little harder -- but it can be done. (And if you are a soda drinker, switch to diet for the time being to wean yourself off the sugar, and later (if you choose) you could wing yourself off diet -- but you'll definitely find yourself cutting down on the soda in order to get your water in).

I know you don't have any energy and that your body is in constant pain, but get moving. The easiest way to move is to take more steps in your busy day. Park away from the doors at stores. Take stairs. Every little bit helps. Then, work your way up to walking...taking actual walks. Start small -- 5 minute walks. Then 10 minute. These first few walks are going to be hard and frustrating and you're probably thinking 'Why bother?' but they WILL get easier and you'll slowly build strength and endurance and you'll be able to walk further and longer.

Soon, you'll begin to see your energy levels increasing as well as your waist shrinking.

You can do it, sweetie. Just take it one day at a time...one step at a time.

03-16-2008, 04:38 PM
Hey Kristy - I hear you with the tiredness, I was tired all the time when I was overweight. I used to fall asleep in my office every afternoon at work and I was a zombie on the couch by 9pm or so!

At least you already cook! So many people hate doing anything in the kitchen, you have that going for you :)

Eating to lose weight is at the heart pretty basic - eat smaller portions, eat more plants, avoid fast foods, fried foods, alcohol, creamy foods and packaged baked goods. Eat lean proteins, complex carbohydrates (sweet potatoes whole wheat pasta whole wheat tortillas quinoa), low fat dairy, lots of fruits and vegetables and healthy fats (walnuts, salmon, avocado, olive oil) everyday. Eating healthy doesn't have to taste bad or boring or bland - I make some awesome stuff - super spicy healthy chili, maple-glazed salmon, delicious home made pizza, home made pasta sauce - my basic rule is 30 minutes/2 pots.

Healthy eating made a huge change in how I FELT (and later - how I looked). Exericse is a great weight-loss component, but what/how much you eat is even more critical. It's a lot easier to NOT eat a 500 calorie muffin than to try to burn 500 calories via exercise (the muffin is just an example).

Portion control is really key - read labels, get a food scale, buy some gorgeous measuring cups (I saw some really pretty powder blue ones that looked like little coffee cups, I wanted them so badly), buy smaller plates, smaller bowls. After 3 years, I STILL measure oatmeal, salad dressing, nuts, cereal, rice, pasta, cheese - I just can't eyeball those items!!

If you eat better, you will FEEL better!

03-16-2008, 04:44 PM
I am exhausted, move slow and feel disappointed all the time -but just 30 minutes of exercise and a day of "good eating" make me feel completely different.

Like everyone else said, "little changes". You don't need to lose 50 pounds to start feeling better, I bet your first day helps. And, if your husband is willing to join in, that would make it that much easier :D.

The trick is to just get started on something, work slow and you will soon be in the swing of things. No one says it's easy but it is so worth it!!

Good luck.

03-16-2008, 05:11 PM
for me weight watchers saved my life. i couldn't do it on my own. i needed the structure of the point system (flex plan) i need that food journal to track everything that i put in my mouth; i too couldn't exercise right away because of my size, it just hurt to much. i was able to lose the first 50 lbs without any exercise, all i did was learn the program and follow the healthy eating guidelines and i can honestly tell you i have never once gotten hungry or felt deprived of food. thats not to say there arent a dozen other great programs to follow because i KNOW there are. there are success stories all over the 3fc forum.
goodluck to you. the first step is ALWAYS the hardest. hang in there, you can do it

03-16-2008, 05:25 PM
Kristy, you have already made a great start. As you lose you will be able to exercise more, for now can you walk a little , take the stairs, not the elevator. You can do this just realize it won't happen overnite. It is fortunate that you are the cook in your house. Stay away from fried foods and sugary desserts,keep bread at a minimum.

03-16-2008, 05:46 PM
Hey Kristy!

Yes... you feel exhausted because you're overweight, and you're overweight because you can't get enough exercise, because... you're overweight! And around it goes.

You have to find a way out. Some ideas: The local YMCA may have water aerobics classes for overweight people--or other gyms/recreational facilities in your area may also have them. This type of exercise is low impact and will help you use your muscles.

What about an exercise bike? Do you have room in your home for one? This is another low impact way to start becoming stronger and fitter. (Be sure to try a few out, because not all work well for everyone. I can't use a recumbent bike, for example. And you would want one with a good seat.)

Elliptical machines also are easier on the knees, but not necessarily easier on the back than just walking.

Your local Y may have these machines as well as classes.

Walk Away The Pounds is a video exercise program you can do in your home. Start slow, and stop if you are feeling pain or getting out of breath.

Be sure you have GOOD, NEW athletic shoes for doing any exercise.

Finally--and this probably should have been first--check with your doctor about your physical condition and what exercises would be safe for you to do. Because of your size, just walking across a room is hard work, so it's best not to overdo anything.

I also agree about trying a program like Weight Watchers. Is your husband overweight? Perhaps you could do the program together.

Good luck! There are ways to get started!


03-16-2008, 05:58 PM
My favorite column in the New York Times recently had a piece about how sometimes exercise can lead to increased energy, as counterintuitive as that may be. You can check it out here:

In my personal experience, this has been really true. While I sometimes feel really "beat" after a hard workout, it's NOTHING compared to how I felt before I started getting consistent exercise. I was constantly feeling half-asleep, never alert, and always in a terrible, rotten mood. Sometimes it takes a little bit before the energizing effects of exercise to start kicking in, but I think if you start slowly you'll be pleasantly surprised at how good it feels. I also think it's a good idea if you look for ways to get movement in that you really enjoy, things that you won't see as a "chore". Like if your way to relax now if to watch TV on the sofa, try replacing that with a walk around the block (or Walk Away the Pounds, if you can't go outside), a belly-dancing video (or salsa or other social dance if your husband wants to get involved), a little Dance Dance Revolution (can also play with your husband or if you have kids), even Wii Sports if you do all the movements with your whole body instead of cheating and just moving your wrist (it's less fun to do smaller movements anyway). There are lots of options to get started!

03-16-2008, 06:27 PM
Hi Kristy,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so tired.
You did not say anything about lunches at work - make sure you bring your own lunch, instead of eating out - not only you will save money, but you will also know what went into the meal (cook large batches of stuff and freeze lunch portions).
Try to go for a walk during lunch time - hopefully you are less tired then - and have your lunch when you return to your desk.
You will soon feel better!

03-16-2008, 06:54 PM
Hi Kristy! :wave:

You got tons of great advice already...one other lil piece of info I found useful when I was starting on this journey - to look at my dinner plate as being 4 equal parts. 1 part lean protein (like grilled skinless chicken or baked fish or pork tenderloin) 1 part starch (like sweet potato or corn or a roll) and 1/2 the plate is veggies (a salad with a little low fat dressing or steamed veggies - there are too many kinds to list).

I especially agree with logging what you eat - and starting with walking or biking. It sounds funny but exercise gives more energy - it just takes a bit of getting used to.

We're glad you are here - keep asking questions!! :D :hug:

03-16-2008, 06:56 PM
I feel your frustration, and your lack of energy. All the other post had great ideas. I haven't been on here long but so far I've gotten some really great advice off this forum. And you're cooking your meals that is great, I wish I had that habit :carrot: There are people on here who have lost huge amounts of weight and are keeping it off. Make small changes, continue to cook your meals, and stay on this forum. I know its really helping me.

03-16-2008, 07:36 PM
You say you are over 150 lbs overweight by your goal, IMAGINE THIS... carrying around two dumbbells, both 75 lbs! How tired you'd be in your daily life? I'm still a bit overweight but even knocking almost 20 lbs, I have more energy. After I had my boy I was at my highest in life, over the 200 lb mark, I couldn't move, was exhausted, and was emotional as well. It was exhausting to just get through a day. Now that I'm eating healthy and exercising I'm amazed at the energy. I'm an older mom and I have to have energy for my little boy although I lost my marriage to stress, fighting, emotional swings. I was extremely unbalanced. I think BALANCE is key, it's not just about dieting but finding a calmer, more relaxed way to live. When you are mindful, slowing down you'll naturally want to eat better foods. Instead of running from A to B and feeling exhausted if you can find some balance in your life, you'll relax. Relaxation is key to losing weight and feeling healthy I think. My life was out of control, so was my weight - I think there's a direct correlation. I'd take a look at what you can do to slow down, if at work you can take some breaks, bring your own "healthy" lunches, go for walks, etc. Then at home see what you can do to simplify your life, your kitchen included. Start buying foods that will help you and your family relax and be healthy. Junk food does the opposite, it makes us crave sugar, more junk, and thus we eat more. If you decide to "really" do this you can, but you have to make a firm choice to "move on" to a healthier lifestyle, physically, mentally and spiritually, not just physcially.

03-16-2008, 08:19 PM
Thanks for your advice, gals.
I really appreciate it tremendously. I don't know where to start with replying here. I think I'll just dive right in. My husband is of an average weight (lucky bum) and has no problems with gaining weight. He is worried about me, though. I'll attach a picture of us, which was last May (our wedding).
You know, I think you are right about taking the stairs - at least I could do that when I get home from work. We live in an apartment - only 3 floors up, though, but that's a start, right? As for an exercise bike or any other exercise equipment, there is hardly any room in this apartment of ours.
I joined a gym before but I just stopped going because the only time I could go is before work, in the morning and I was so tired and rushed. It was hard. I think as the weather gets better I will attempt to go for walks at lunchtime with a friend of mine at work.
Thanks again for your support - and remember to check out the picture I'm attaching! :smug:

P.S. - I've tried a lot of programs, (ie. WW, Slimfast, Body for life, etc.), with no success. I guess that's why I feel so frustrated.

03-16-2008, 08:28 PM
The two of you are so beautiful! :love: Great picture!

Don't give up, Kristy! Even if you've tried things before, you can always try again. :cheer2: :cheer2: :cheer2: Some of us have tried many, many times before we succeeded!


03-16-2008, 09:49 PM
What Jay said. ;)

The alternative is not trying at all....and I'd venture a guess not very many people are going to say that's a good idea.

03-16-2008, 10:54 PM
What a sweet picture ^^ SO CUTE!

Don't give up! You can do this! Please keep on coming back and posting.

03-17-2008, 11:42 AM
What a great picture, such a beautiful wedding gown. Kristy, I have done all the programs, too and have been successful but usually just get tired of that particular program at the time. I have found that calorie counting works best for me and keeps me maintaining my loss.

03-17-2008, 01:48 PM

Well you've already did the first step which is saying you WANT to feel better right? A little about me.
I'm mommy to a beautiful 4 year old little boy. He's my world. I'm engaged. I work full time cleaning houses. Sometimes it's overwhelming. I take care of Ethan (my son) for the most part by myself. I've did this his whole life. I kept telling myself that with work and taking care of my little boy I just didn't have time to exercise. It wasn't that I didn't *want* to lose weight. I've always struggled with my weight. I've been overweight since the 1st grade! Fluctuating from 175-255 lbs (my adult life). But it was a time issue. And I've always been an emotional eater. When something's upset me or I'm sad, I turn to food. Ice cream & cookies were really my best friends. Or that's how I felt. Anyway, I've tried everything over the years. Just about every diet, pill, program you could imagine. But I always had that mind set of "omg I have to lose all this RIGHT NOW" if I didn't see results in the first week or two I was ready to throw in the towel. Ideally I'm supposed to be between 140-160 lbs. And it seems like it's going to take me so long to get there. But on the other hand I have a choice. Either I can try to eat a little better (my downfall has always been sodas, I was consuming a really ridiculous amount per day! No water, just cokes all day long) and do a little exercising and hopefully the weight will come off. Or I can continue my routine, be tired ALL the time and never have any energy. I don't know if what I'm doing will cause a huge dramatic weight loss. I've cut way back on my sodas (I drink 1, sometimes 2 a day, the rest is either water or tea) and I've started drinking water. I exercise 20 minutes on the treadmill every day or at least 6 times a week. It is hard to make the time but I try. If something comes up and I can't do it that day I find other things to do for at least 20 minutes that will get my heart rate up a bit. 20 minutes a day might not be much but for me it is a HUGE step. You have to start where you feel comfortable. Maybe when you get home from work you could say "Okay I'm doing this. Here's 10 minutes I'm just going to walk around or I'm going to do some type of exercise."
Before I started exercising I stayed so tired all the time. My job is pretty physical (we clean houses) but in the afternoons it was just such a strain to get the things done I needed to get done (cook, play with my little boy, etc.). Now I'm feeling tons better. I don't have that mid afternoon crash where I really, really just want to take a nap or lie on the couch for 45 minutes. The key is not to think of it as you're doing something really hard. You just have to tell yourself that it's not about the losing weight (even if it is to start with!) it's about feeling better and having more energy. You're going to be beautiful whether you're 500 lbs or 140 lbs. But you need to feel better before you'll feel beautiful. Okay so I've rambled way too much here! I'm new to this forum and really wanted to reply to this post. We are all here to support you because we know that you CAN do this!

Dorys Girl
03-17-2008, 02:06 PM
I would say the best thing you can do for yourself is start moving. Simply adding some form of exercise into your daily routine will increase your metabolism and actually give you more energy. Start slow. Take a 5 or 10 minute walk around town or take a morning and afternoon walk break at work. I can say from experience that you will be physically tired for the first few days, but I promise you that the more you move around, the better you'll feel. Those aches and pains will slowly subside, you'll sleep like a rock, and your body will start to crave the physical activity.

The sleepiness in the afternoon could be a direct link to the type of lunch you're eating. If it's heavy in carbs, I'd try to focus more on eating lean proteins like chicken, turkey, or fish and staying away from things like pasta and bread.

I applaud you for taking that first step toward becoming a healthier woman. Remember to be kind to your body by giving it the right fuel and proper exercise and you'll do fine. Be healthy for a lifetime, not just for a few days or weeks.

03-17-2008, 03:33 PM
Welcome and what a beautiful wedding photo! When I started losing weight, my goal wasn't even to lose, just not to gain any more. I started out by walking from my car to a transit point instead of taking the shuttle bus which ran between the 2. And I limited fast/take out food to no more than once a week. That helped get things started and it does get easier. Here are few suggestions I've found helpful in getting motivated/making time for exercise:

1) put together a playlist on a mp3 or cd of music you really like & which really motivates you.

2) do you watch tv to unwind? If so and you don't already have TIVO or DVR through cable, consider getting that. I found it cut down on my aimless channel surfing and even if I do surf & see something good, I hit record so I don't stay up late watching something I get engrossed in. Which in turn makes it easier to get to bed early so I can get up early for the gym (pre-work's the only time I can fit it in). Also, you save time by fast forwarding through commercials. I know I've watched 1 hour shows in 40-45 mins on DVR. That may not seem like a big deal, but since I generally would watch 2-3 hours after work, watching it on DVR can save me anywhere from 30/45 mins-40-60 minutes. Which is enough time for a workout.

3) combine the exercise with something you really like. For me, it's music/tv. This way, if it's something you'd do anyway, it doesn't feel like such a chore. And doing something enjoyable (music, tv, movie, audio books) makes the time pass much more quickly.

Also, if you don't like plain water, consider sparkling water with flavor (just check for calories & artificial sweeteners because some brands do add that stuff for flavoring). Poland Springs has some pretty good ones (lemon, lime, mandarain orange & a raspberry-lime one) which don't have any calories/artificial sweetener.

Good luck & keep us posted on how you're doing!

03-17-2008, 03:39 PM
As for exercise equipment in a small apartment, a ropeless jump rope, a mini stair step and exercise dvds are some ideas, plus good old walking/jogging. Did you see the Today show today, the woman featured was over 300 lbs and she was down to like 180, it was an amazing story. Read through the stories on this site, it'll blow you away, this is a great place to learn from others, especially those that have lost. If you want to lose weight - study those that have is my opinion... that's what I love it here, so many GREAT ideas and encouragement.

03-17-2008, 06:00 PM
That is a really neat picture, Kristy. Beautiful you and beautiful dress.

My favorite out of all the suggestions, is to pick one thing and do it.

Here is how this worked for me: I started out by banning granola bars, peanut butter and regular butter. These foods seemed to trigger me to eat more and more....Somehow, giving up three things seemed pretty easy. Turns out, I didn't drink as much milk or eat as much bread without my favorite toppings. Not too much later I read that changing my milk preference from high fat to low or no fat would make a difference. I NEVER thought I could drink skim milk. Turns out I can drink reconstituted non-fat dry milk just fine! Who'd a thunk!!! So....I could eat all the potato chips I wanted to eat - just no peanut butter, butter, or granola bars. Well, I felt so virtuous about giving up the granola bars etc, that I didn't want to eat all those potato chips. Then I read in a book about how to stock my pantry for healthy eating. The book also inclued a few recipes and a sort of frame-work, if you will, for a healthy diet. You can see that one thing lead to another....

03-17-2008, 08:32 PM
Hi Kristy,
I'm happy that you reached out for help. I'm new to the site and I'm finding a lot of support.. I am not trying to be a doctor, give medical advice, or alarm you...but have you been evaluated for diabetes ? When I was diagnosed at 35, I was falling asleep during the day, had absolutely no energy, absolutely starving all the time, thirsty, headache... I felt gross... Just a thought.. because although I am still heavy, at least I feel better because my blood sugars are lower... Good Luck

03-18-2008, 10:05 PM
I totally sympathize with you, I am so super tired and exhausted at the end of the day, it is easier to sit and watch tv or surf the web than to get up and try something.

The key is to start small and work your way up.

Here are some things that I did when I was starting small:

Whenever you go somewhere, park far away and walk the rest of the way in, instead of opting for a closer space.

Take the stairs instead of the elevator.

Go into the bank instead of going through the drivethrough of the bank.

Go to the mall and walk around as you window shop.

Basically it's just a matter of doing more things to get your body used to exercise.

Also, if you exercise you eventually feel less tired overall.

Hope this helps, good luck!