Faith Based Support Groups - Overcoming the feeling that you've let God down

...because you're fat, overweight, whatever. I'm in the process of trying to reconcile these negative feelings and thoughts about myself. In understand that our bodies are God's temple and that we should be healthy (in order to do those things that we're here to do) and yet over the last 5 years I haven't done that (my siggie tells ya that).

How can I rise above the feeling that I've somehow let God down in the area of food in my life? Or am I the only person that feels like this?

I have never considered myself to be a religious person. I would say, I am more spiritual than religious, but I know EXACTLY how you feel. We were put here with only one body and it has a very long ways to carry us. It is a gift that I have abused in more ways than one. But I am learning. I am changing. Our bodies can bounce back. We will eat better, we will exercise more, we will stop talking negatively to ourselves, and not only will God forgive us, but we will also forgive ourselves.

I believe that we are here to grow spiritualy, to learn, and to help others along life's journey. We have hurt ourselves, but we will heal and then we will be even more equiped to help someone along the way or to provide inspiration for someone who needs it and has been unable to find it elsewhere.

I believe that we are good people... that God will forgive us. And now it is important that we take taht remorse and learn from it - we will use it to move forward and to make ourselves better people. Better physically, better emotionally...

:goodvibes:

Thanks for being so honest in asking this question. It's a tough one.
You're right that our body is our temple and we need to take care of it. In addition to that God is a God of forgiveness, though I have to disagree with the last person who said we can be forgiven if we are good people. The Bible makes it clear that we can be forgiven because of the sacrifice that Jesus has made in our behalf. The debt has been paid for our sin, we only have to accept it. You can accept forgiveness for what you have done (or not done) to your body, and ask God's help to start making better choices. God does not want you to live in guilt for the rest of your life, but to live in the freedom that He offers in forgivness.
Beth

HONESTLY, that thought has never really crossed my mind: probably becuz I feel that the only one I have really let down is MYSELF! I have been a believer and follower of JESUS CHRIST all my life, so I hope I am becoming a better person for that, but I am far from perfect and GOD knows that very well. He is a LOVING and FORGIVING GOD.

Firstly, I diidn't become overweight on purpose; GOD knows that! He also knows our intentions and thoughts. I am just doing my best to live as healthy as I can. I also think that life is a school and we are the pupils.

GOD knows that we live in a society that shoves unhealthy food at us all the time; and some of us were not taught how to eat healthy either. Some of us eat from emotions becuz we have suffered or been too stressed. GOD is a compassionate GOD; and I think that he not only LOVES us and CARES ABOUT US, but he wants to help us too.

I ask GOD in prayer daily to give me strength and wisdom to make more excellent choices. I look around for the advice of those here who are doing well; I even believe that GOD has directed us to find this great place for support. And, I read the bible every day, and I have never found anything in there that makes me feel badly about myself; it only seems to be other people who do that ...

I believe that GOD wants me to start TRUSTING HIM for better health, and not to rely on others; and to live in a healthy, balanced way. That means to be more concerned with good health and moderation, not vanity. Sometimes we are just way too hard on ourselves, and then we project that on to GOD too.

I agree with everything SCRAVER has said (thank you dear). I also think that we need to forgive ourselves more. Forgive myself for listening to the wrong people. Forgive myself for not seeing what was going wrong sooner. Forgive myself for being flawed and weak. BUT, what's most important to me now is that I know that GOD LOVES ME AND CARES FOR ME; so, now I can start taking better care of myself with HIS help.

:hug:ROSEBUD:hug:

I totally agree with Beth and Rosebud...our God is a forgiving God because of the sacrifice Jesus made for us.

Dreamgrl you are so not alone. Talk to God daily...hourly...every minute of every day...! God loves you and he wants the best for you. He knows your struggles and wants to help you through this. Let Him!

John 3:17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

There's a really great book out there called Becoming the Woman You Want to be. It's a 90 day program/journey to renewal with Bible verses, prayers, ideas for developing better eating habits and starting a fitness program. The pathway to becoming the woman I want to be is found in actively persuing maximum health in my spirit, soul and body. This book gives daily affirmations to recite and has room for journaling.

"I forget those things that are behind me, including all of my personal shortcomings in the area of spiritual disciplines, diet and exercise. I am pressing towards what lies ahead, a bright future filled with health in my spirit, soul and body..."

"I have the power to change my life, because the spirit of the Lord rests upon me. I can learn a new way of living because I have a spirit of wisdom and understanding."

"When I look at my life right now and see things I am dissatisfied with, I realize that for the most part I am reaping what I've sown, the encouraging news is that I firmly believe that as I begin to sow differently, I will reap differently. I'm planting new attitudes and actions, I know it will take awhile before these seeds are ready to harvest, help me be patient."

I love this book, it was my start to mental, physical and spiritual health a year ago when I was going through a rough time in my life and gained weight. Even if you dont' get the book, you can know that God forgives us for our past choices, and can help us change our lives around. Gradually, day by day. Yes we may have treated our bodies poorly, but as we change our habits we'll reap new benefits. I've lost about 20 lbs in a year or so, through hard work and discipline, sometimes I back track, especially mentally and spiritually into negativity, but I try to remember, I'm a new person, my body is slimmer and I have more energy, my mind/spiritual life also needs to be changes/new.

I have to disagree with the last person who said we can be forgiven if we are good people.

I mean no disrespect - I just want to clarify, that I did not say we would be forgiven because we are good people. I believe that we are good people and I also believe that we will be forgiven. I do not feel that one guarentees the other.

While the body is indeed very important, I have to think that God is more interested in what's on the inside. I believe that when we make a big lifestyle change, our bodies aren't the only things that change- our souls change too. The hard work and dedication to making things right makes us more conscious of ourselve, and of others. Being overweight, I am more conscious of the struggles of other overweight people. Plus, I feel that when I reach goal, I will have a much greater appreciation for my body. Remember the story of the prodigal son- it is more important to God that we learn from our mistakes and become better, wiser people. God is a forgiving God, and he gave us temptations of all sorts so that we could learn to become better people. "Like Gold Tested in Fire"

1Cr 6:19, 20 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

I totally understand and have spent many times crying in prayers asking for forgiveness for sinning against God. Our bodies are God's Temple and by not taking care of our bodies whether we meant to or not is going against God. But, (this is a good one!) God's Grace and Forgiveness is so amazing that we can hold our head up and move forward from our sin. However our prayers of repentance should be real and serious and we've got to walk away from this sin. Wow, my response has totally been what I needed to hear myself. I pray that this helps you as it has me.

Thanks everyone for your post and encouragement (and for the book Horsey - I will definitely check it out).

I guess just in general I've been struggling with my faith because I've been looking at the things that are right and wrong in my life and it just occurred to me that my weight is probably the number one thing that is holding me back and preventing me from accomplishing other things that I would like to do (such as get married, have children, move up in my career) - hence the reason I'm here at 3FC and I'm trying to work on it slowly but surely. So of course all of my attention goes toward my weight and all the problems it has caused and finally - the feeling that I've disappointed God because of it.

I grew up in "the church" and I know inside and out what the bible says but for whatever reason I just can't move past the feeling that because I've screwed this up (becoming obese) that now God may feel like he can't trust me to do the other things that He has planned.

Does any of this make sense? lol I will admit that I am a rambler.....

It makes sense, in "human," but that doesn't make it true. I read a wonderful book, but can't remember the title. I know the theme was "God doesn't care if you're fat." It was by a woman, about 220 lbs, who was very active in her church, doing amazing things, and how most of her life, she was trapped in trying to lose weight for all the wrong reasons (Dieting can be just as sinful as gluttony, if it turns your attention away from, rather than toward God).

For her, she had to learn that having a perfect body was her goal, not God's. She had been a former member of First Place, or Weigh Down (I think the latter) and had been formerly very "preachy" to fellow parishoners about how sinful being fat is. She came to a different conclusion when she realized that she was putting more effort into keeping the body temple "pretty" and feeling morally superior for it, than she was putting into the "function" of her temple - growing in faith, caring for her family and other contributions to her community that she could be making if she didn't use all of her time losing or maintaining her weight.

I'm not saying that overeating, and not caring for the one body God gave us, cannot be sinful. But so can dieting and being preoccupied with our failures. In fact, there's no way to avoid sin entirely, because we just can't do it. Sin isn't about "being bad," it's about turning away from God. There are millions of ways in which we do not put God first in our life (sin). God knows this and forgives it, when we ask, when we try to get closer and put God first.

In the scheme of things, none of us can be "trusted" to do God's will. We're not God's employees who are assigned tasks God has delegated to us because He hasn't the time to do it Himself. We're children who mess up in a thousand ways, the baby learning to walk who falls alot (and even cries about it). He picks us up and helps us learn. Some of us have lots and lots to learn, some of us seem to pick it up faster than others. Don't obsess over the "grades" because they're not important. Whether getting very fat is a "worse" sin than cheating on your taxes or being jealous of your neighbor, or hurting someone in an argument... sometimes even thinking that way can be sinful because it leads us away from where we really need to be. Trying to learn and do what God asks of us.

Have you tried those weight loss groups at church, TOPS, etc? I keep seeing ads here locally for them... maybe it would help to have other Christians meeting a few times a month?

Hmm, that is a good idea. I've flirted with goingg to a TOPS meeting but never have. I should just stop worrying about it and go. LOL

And thanks kaplods for your post. I guess I just needed a reminder that I should be looking at things through God's eyes and not my own. Because when I obsess over my weight, then it becomes my "god" or an idol to me - and that is more displeasing to God than anything else.

I can't say enough great things about TOPS. I've been a member of TOPS groups in several communities, and it didn't always "click." The first group I belonged to was in Ottawa, IL, when i was in my 20's and it was a wonderful large group with a very diverse membership. There weren't a lot of women my age, but there were a few, and the group was really fun. I lost over 60 lbs, but when I got another job in another community, I just didn't connect with the group in my area (looking back, I think I was looking for an excuse to give up).

While not religiously affiliated, TOPS does attract a lot of church-going members (not surprisingly, especially those that meet in churches). It's also extremely affordable (one month at WW, cost my husband and I more than our entire first year of TOPS will - we joined in late August).

i feel that way often times that GOd does want me to do better with everythig that is going on but it feels kind of overwhelming


While the body is indeed very important, I have to think that God is more interested in what's on the inside. I believe that when we make a big lifestyle change, our bodies aren't the only things that change- our souls change too. The hard work and dedication to making things right makes us more conscious of ourselve, and of others. Being overweight, I am more conscious of the struggles of other overweight people. Plus, I feel that when I reach goal, I will have a much greater appreciation for my body. Remember the story of the prodigal son- it is more important to God that we learn from our mistakes and become better, wiser people. God is a forgiving God, and he gave us temptations of all sorts so that we could learn to become better people. "Like Gold Tested in Fire"

This is such an interesting thread. When I first read the title, I thought, "I don't know that I've ever felt that way," but then I read everyone's posts and I thought, "That is exactly what I am feeling."

It's a mixture between letting God down and myself down. I don't feel very lovable by God at this moment. And I don't think it's just because of my weight. I think I am not doing the best I can (in many aspects) so I am feeling bad about myself. It's hard to feel in tune with God when I am feeling so self-centered.

Hmmm, I need to re-examine some things in my life. A little discouraging, I have to admit.

Again, thanks everyone for your responses. Sorry for such a long lag in responding but my laptop decided to call it quits and I'm just now getting around to buy a new one.

I guess my discouragement is also coming from the fact that because I have so much weight to lose, it just seems overhelming - and then when I add on the other things that are going on that I struggle with, shoot talk about a mountain! lol

I love reading other people's success stories on here, espeically those that were where I was and have triumph. And even though in the back of mind there is a little voice that says " you can't do that " I do have to consciencely remind myself that what God does for one person, he can do for another.

It's so hard sometimes to keep in mind that our humanly "logical way" isn't God's way, kwim?

Be proud of who you are because God keeps a picture of you in His wallet!!

You have not let God down, work to make yourself healthier and remember God created you and is proud of his Children and love you unconditionally.

I don't feel so much let down but more confused about what he wants from me in this area. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me to be obese but I don't know what he wants aside from that. I have so many health problems I feel like, geez, if I'm supossed to lose a bunch of weight why isn't he helping me out here? Is he trying to tell me that I'm too vain and my goals are silly and I should stop this ridiculous goal to be a really fit person? I don't know. I keep asking and I'm still not sure. I don't know if my health is something he wants me to fight through and reach my goal...or if he wants me to see that being a musclar, fit person is not at all important and I need to focus on something else. I have no clue at this point.

This is a very interesting thread. I know God loves me unconditionally and I have trusted Jesus Christ as my Savior. But I can still get wrapped up in my weight and think about it almost constantly and I don't think that is what God wants.

Hi, I just joined. I'm a medical doctor who leads a Christian weight loss program in various churches, and who counsels patients on weight loss.

I totally agree with the wonderful posts these ladies made in response to your feelings about letting God down.

Yes, your body is His temple. But a temple is just a place where a person worships. The person inside the temple is what it's all about for God, not the temple itself. He loves you (the inner you, the essence of you) more than anything--certainly more than He cares about the size or shape of your physical body.

But here's the flip side. Being overweight can cause us to feel miserable and become distracted from God, even though God doesn't mind how we look. If that's the case (and it usually is), then Satan wins. The Liar makes us feel bad about ourselves, and makes us feel depressed and rejected by God. As a result, the Deceiver keeps us from carrying out the wonderful things God has planned for us.

So, anytime you start thinking that God judges your body, remember it's a LIE. The truth is God loves you, is merciful, and doesn't care how you look.

God bless you.

Rita Hancock MD

I just happened to go into this area of the website and the thread caught my eye. I personally do feel i let God down in a way...to the point that i dont go to church (its been at least 9 months) because i want to lose weight before i go back. How silly, right? I grew up in a church where all of my friends were super thin (100-120lbs tops) and i weighed like 140-150lbs. Thinking back i didnt like feeling like the fat girl then and i dont want to go back still being the fat the girl. I know I should totally just go back, but a little part of me (probably satan) is saying they're all going to laugh at you. How sad, huh..lol?

PenChick :hug: Please, don't wait to go back. No one is going to laugh at you or judge you! (If they do - find another church, FAST). We have all fallen short of God's glory in some way. For some of us, food has become an idol - for others - it is something else.

My church family is so supportive and helpful and I can't imagine trying to lose weight without them!

I will keep you in my prayers this week!

It's so nice to have people feel the same way I do. I'll eat something and soon after that I'll feel depressed about what I have eaten. I hate it and I really feel like this is influencing my relationship with God.

What a wonderful conversation you've all been having!! It helps me to see that I'm not the only one wondering & questioning myself & my relationship with God.

I 2nd the statement - go back to church now. don't wait to lose weight first or you may never go back & you'll forever question your spirituality & more importantly, God's purpose in your life.

As for the health problems related to being overweight - I, too, have been struggling with health problems due to my weight. Although I struggle with it everyday, I have discovered that regular exercise helps to reduce my pain (I have fibromyalgia & bursitis in several joints). I'm embarrassed to say, my impetus this time is an upcoming vacation to the Virgin Islands. However, I realize that this was provided as an incentive to me by God. He wants me to feel better/healthier & experience less pain so I'll quit judging myself & will be better able to do His work.

As I said, I struggle everday, almost every hour - however, I think it's important to have something that acts as an incentive for you. If it's being healthier, then post a picture of yourself when you were in a healthier state or a healthy person you'd like to emulate. Or - you might want to post a bible quote that "speaks" to you. There's one that several 3FCers have in their signature line.

Good Luck to all in your efforts to lose weight & be a healthier vessel to deliver God's message.

May God Bless & Keep you...

I myself have used food to fill those places in my heart that were meant to be filled by Him.
I would spend some time meditating on His word, especially scriptures that describe how he feels about you (maybe song of solomon) seems like we are our own worse enemies, we beat ourselves up while He stands there with open arms, asking for us to give him the pain, guilt, self-hatred etc.
I am working through many of these issues right now.
Every morning I have to give myself over to Him completely and pray for His mercy, and kindness to flood my soul. Somedays I feel as if I am taking small baby steps, but overall am heading in the right direction.

Sometimes God works in ways we can't understand, but today I read an article about this subject. The link was sent to me at work, and I don't have it here but it was about the beliefs of some that being overweight was letting God down and how there are so many ways of getting obese and overweight ranging from health problems to emotional problems and they are not sins.
I've been thinking about it and pondering you might say then I found this thread and thoughts just started coming. People who judge or accuse overweight people of not caring for their bodies which are Temples of God are very similar to the Pharases and Saduccees that Jesus denounced who were all about appearances. The belief in Biblical times was that birth deffects and diseases like leprosy were punishment for sins. Jesus let us know that God loves the imperfect and much as if not more than the perfect. What we need to do is ask Jesus for healing and the ability to accept and love ourselves as much as he does.

Ok, I'm climbing down from my pulpet, God Bless

I think the sin comes in when we turn to food instead of to God. Just like when we turn to shopping or sleeping or working or social esteem or whatever for our security and comfort. The human heart is an idol factory.

I think if we beat ourselves down about it, feeling miserable about how weak we are, how we never seem to change, etc., that can be the deceiver at work. But that can also be conviction of sin. In either case we repent and keep our eyes on Jesus, not on ourselves -- on His strength, comfort, power and redeeming love.

p.s.: While we do sin, child of God, we do not "let God down." God the Creator is outside of time -- when He formed you He knew all of your days. All of them, from beginning to end. And loves you.

This is truly the most heart touching thread I have ever read. I have felt so alone, during deaths with family members and my animal friends and often questioned God why, why? I have got angry with him because I just don't understand, but never stopped loving him. I have always thought of God as my best friend for he has always been there for me but never understood the death part. Not understanding that part of life, getting angry, I have felt like I have let him down. Not being able to help someone in loosing weight when I was a Leader, I felt like I let him down. Not being able to be there when someone needed someone, I felt like I have let him down. I truly love him and I don't like the feeling that I have let him down, but I have and I know it and I truly pray that he can find it in his heart to forgive me.

You probably believe God has a plan for us, right? Did you ever think you getting heavy was in the plan or else it wouldn't have happened? When we go through great trials, there's something in that experience we're supposed to take away from it. You may have been heavy to help give someone else hope when they see your weight loss. Your inspiration may very well be what gives someone else the motivation to save their own life. Don't lose perspective, if you are where you are, whether you like that place or not, you're there for a reason. The big confusion in life is we don't get to know all the reasons everything happens. Often, we have to wait for that puzzle piece to be revealed to us in time.

I would like to bump this heartfelt topic back up to the top, I can relate so much to feeling like I let God down being overweight.
Like I haven't listened to him, or trusted him enough to lose weight. I know what to do, but don't (Romans 7). I know I need to eat healthy and exercise more.
I trust and obey God in other areas of my life, why not my health?
Christian are to be separate from the world, not part of, but being overweight I look and act just like the rest of the world.
I know its an inside job as well, but when my outside doesn't look right, the inside suffers as well.
I know God loves me not matter what, however when I don't love myself or feel worthy of Gods love, its difficult to stick with any food plan or exercise.
If being sick and tired all the time, then I'm not healthy and strong enough to do Gods work.

Hi Karen,

I believe God looks at you very differently from how you look at yourself. Some people think God judges them as being "bad" or "good," depending on what or how much they eat or how much they weigh. Or, they judge themselves as bad or good and then take it further and believe God does the same. But, I know God looks at you through the eyes of love. I know that b/c He IS love. Right now, He's probably heartbroken that you're heartbroken over your weight. He's NOT up there saying, "Karen, you're BAD." He's saying, "Karen, let me help you feel better deep down." Weight is such a trivial thing in the grand scheme. I believe when you feel better deep down, you then have fewer triggers that lead you to eat when you're not physically hungry and the weight comes off without that internal struggle you alluded to. So, I say we should all let go of the guilt and shame the Accuser wants to heap on us and accept God's love and mercy instead. Then, the weight loss comes MUCH more easily. Of course, there's other, nuts and bolts stuff to know for the weight loss.....I know b/c I lost 75 pounds 27 years ago. I learned a lot since then....But, still, the first step is letting go of the guilt and shame.

KAREN ~ I agree with what RITA said -- we were just discussing something similar to this on our Christian Encourager's thread recently. GOD loves you and HE wants you to be healthy and well; but we have lots to work on and really need to find out what triggers us to eat when we are not hungry. GOD can help that part heal in us, so we will enjoy food, but eat for fuel instead of trying to drown our hurts with food. I know that is so for me ...

I am learning other ways to soothe my hurts; like singing and reciting praises out loud ... this always changes how I feel, and helps me get into a better mood and frame of mind. Life has a lot of struggles, but we need to find other outlets for our emotions.

PLus, GOD offers us comfort; and HE has already provided a way to deal with our shortcomings and guilt: JESUS took care of all that on the cross ... why do we want to pick that all back up again and try to carry it ourselves? Give this burden to the LORD, and leave it there. If it comes back up -- do it again and again and again, until it becomes a new practice ...

The other day somebody said something rude to me -- in the past, I would have reacted by eating something, but this time, I didn't. I went to the Word (the bible) and started reading, reciting, and singing praises to GOD: this is like a healing balm to our hearts, our minds, and our spirits -- and, I had one of the best OP (on plan) days this week ...

GOD is teaching me, slowly but surely, not to let others ROB me of my gladness, my happiness, my joy, and my hope! GOD will and can help us, if we are willing to listen to HIM. You may be disappointed in yourself, but that doesn't mean GOD is ... HE provided a remedy for that too ... LOVE! :hug:

Karen I have been there and maybe i should still feel like I have let God down, but Karen I don't. I asked God to let me help help others, ya see I used to be 40 - 45 pounds lighter, I had lost 90 pounds but gained 40 to 45 back but I have this Texan stuburn streak running through my soul. I will fight nail and tooth to loose that weight again, I am not going to give up. I know Jesus loves me and he wants to see me suceed.
Karen I am taking baby steps to loose weight I used to jump in and sink or swim attitude but not anymore, I have been taught to be patient with my body and lure it into exercise instead of forcing myself. For example: I love to dance to music washing dishes,[using calories] ha! I just know someday my husband is going to come in and catch me. I love to work with plants[using calories] and my garden and yes you could hear me talking to them![using calories] I don't like being hungry so I went on a low carb diet.

I am 57 years old Karen and my body is far from perfect but it has carried my soul around and put up with my soul for 57 years and it deserves to be treated with respect and love, from me. That means discilpline, knowing what is best for my body, that means eating the way I feel is best and making exercise fun not a have too but a want too! I also do not call myself FAT anymore, I call myself a well built woman , I just need a few trimings here and there and I am God's work in progress. He is working on my soul and I am doing my part by working on getting healthy. Karen does that make sense?

Hi Gals ~

I think the real issue here is...

we let ourselves down.....

God can handle our failures...He has already finished the "clean-up" :)

I remembered this article in a Guidepost magazine from a couple of years ago...

Some of you may find comfort in it...enjoy :hug:

http://www.guideposts.com/story/new-me-diet

Wonderful story, thank you for sharing. If she wasn't in such good health she may had died right there on the spot.
I just want to be a blessing to God and do the will of The Father, for me right now it getting healthy and losing weight. Also putting God before food, quit using food as an idol and focus on God.

Today I am prayer for eating right for The Lord.
What would Jesus eat?
Would Jesus eat that?

Today I am prayer for eating right for The Lord.
What would Jesus eat?
Would Jesus eat that?

Thank you for posting this. I never thought this way before but I think it is the right way to consider what you are eating.

My body is my temple, and sometimes my weight stops me from really living. One of the main reasons for my weight loss is out of devotion to God and the body he gave me.