Anyone been there? I am totally at the point where I feel just dissatisfied with my life in general. I don't really feel like I am where I want to be, I'm not really sure where I am going.
It seems almost all of my friends have great jobs, or at least are on a great career track and know exactly what they want to do (in medical, dental school, etc). Several of them are married, others are in great relationships. Me, I feel like I am completely off track in terms of my professional and personal life. I am in a Masters program now, but I don't like it and don't think its what I want to do. But I don't want to just quit either. I might end up going for another Masters or PhD in a different discipline after I complete this one, but I feel like I am just going to be in school forever and it's so hard for me to envision an actual career when its all said and done. Ugh, I just feel like I should have done so much more with my life at this point, or at least have a real plan as to what I want, where I am going.
I've been there. In fact I still am, to an extent. Once I got out of college it was kind of like, I'd worked so hard to get to the point where I was on my own and had my degree and could do what I wanted, everyone else seemed to have found their path and there I was, suddenly without a purpose and a plan for the next step. I've sort of fallen into my job, my relationship...I am happy for the most part, but I still feel like I should have some sort of aim for my life, whereas now I just sort of drift where life takes me. I guess even if you do have a goal life still might take you a different way... anyway, I know what you mean.
I'm in one! I'm in a great career field, but it's not something I plan on doing for the rest of my life AT ALL. I wanted desperately to try to get into a new field when my convalescence was over, but it looks like I'm back to being a nanny. I love kids, but I want to eventually settle down and have a family of my own and when that happens, I don't want to be around kids 24/7. I'm in a pretty dead end relationship (I'm not in love, it's mostly physical). I can't see myself ever marrying him. So I'm in a career I don't want to stay in and in a relationship I know I'm not going to stay in. I feel like I'm in a rut. I need a BIG BIG BIG change. I could take a pretty big pay cut and take some entry level job, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I love the level of comfort I have and couldn't bear to take a low paying job. I don't even know how to live paycheck to paycheck. I'm torn. And then there's the question of what it is exactly I WANT to do with my life. I'm more confused now than I was at 18. I want to be in love and I want a good job that I'll love until the day I retire. But the hard part of the equation is, how in the **** do I do that?
I hear ya. I graduated from university with a degree and just felt so lost. Most of my friends were heading onto grad school and just wasn't sure of what I wanted to do. I'd been so focused on getting my degree that I hadn't though of life after the degree. I took some time off, volunteered travelled and just tried to figure out what I wanted. I fell into my job and my relationship. My parents are still really helping me out and I feel exceptionally guilty about that on a regular basis (they helped my buy my condo and are paying the majority of the mortage) While I'm very happy in my relationship and I do enjoy my job, it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm hoping to go back to school in the next year or two and get a masters degree in occupational therapy. Having somewhat of an idea of what I want to do makes a difference but I definately feel lost at times.
I completely feel you! I hear there is a book on quarterlife chrisis... I keep meaning to pick it up.
It seems like you work & work to get somewhere & you just never seem to get all the way where you want to be. After college you get stuck in the "real world" and it kinda sucks.
All of my friends seem to be in some form of quarterlife chrisis.
I am knocking on the door of 30 and I thought I would have an actual 'career' by now - but I am 'only a temp'. I though I would be working on a family by now. I thought I would have my credit card debt paid off by now. I thought I would have done more to my house by now. I thought both me and my husband would be making more money by now. I thought I would have a new car by now. (My car is an SB... The windows recently stopped working and I found out yesterday that the cruise control doesn't work anymore. The wipers don't work right, it over heats in traffic... and once when I went to raise the volume on the radio... it changed stations instead.)
Don't get me wrong - I feel very happy and very blessed for what I do have... but I feel like I lack direction in my life as far as my career (I should be working right now, but instead, I am posting on 3FC!!) and I worry about debt a lot...
~sigh~
Well I'm nearing 21 and I know how you must feel. I have a job that I like and its in the field I plan on spending time in. I didn't go to college because I DESPISE school. I would like to get a business management degree someday when I can pay for it out of pocket. I am currently an office manager for a distribution company so it's not too big of deal. I do wish I was in a relationship. I live alone so it can be lonely. I am worried that I will be 30 and have no prospects for marriage. I want kids and a family, maybe I'm trying too hard.
Even the best laid plans go astray! Never get too focused b/c you might miss other callings that are on your way.
Case in point-- I was *going to be* no matter what, a Ph.D in psychology. I did awesome in school, went to grad school... and realized I HATED IT and it was nothing like I thought it was. I got my MA degree and got out of there quick. Now I have an awesome job in my local government, getting paid quite well, and it's a job that fits with my interests and makes me very happy!
On the other hand, I dated someone for 5 years, got married last year, and thought I had everything. And, as of this moment, my marriage is falling apart around me. BOOM out of nowhere, completely from left field. And I'm not sure how to handle it... Not quite like I had planned, huh?
U just NEVER KNOW. And you need to be open and aware of the many possibilities that float around you every day that you didn't realize were there.
Good luck to you. I totally sympathize with you and realize what you're going through.
I want to second BrandNewJen -- I just turned 27 and yikes...relationship falling apart, constantly changing my mind about exactly what I want to do, and why...
One major piece of my quarter-life crisis happened after I fell into a restaurant management gig, worked it for about a year and a half for good $$ but total misery, and that was my kick in the a$$ to get back to school and do what I want to do. Still working on lots of things, though.
It is really hard. I think one of my favorite lessons from the restaurant management gig was that even if I pick the wrong path, I can change it.
S
I am an old fogie at 40 ... you have to do the time to get to your ideal job. I work with lots of successful men and women and we all got here the same way ... one job, one project, one experience at a time.
So many come out of college and think that book smarts are all that it takes to land their dream job. Then they realize that work is not fun. eg . there is a ton of crap work that needs to be done, and those with less experience do that work. (Did you watch the devil wears prada?)
The good news - after you do the crap work, you'll build a resume that will land you that dream job.
You are definitely not alone.
I am going this a serious quarter life crisis. I dont know if it's just our generation, or what.
I worked so hard to get where I am... but this cant possibly be it. I have a job that I hate and no training to do anything else.
If only I understood myself a little more when I was still in school. I feel like I wasted four years of college b/c I didn't know what I wanted ... Now it seems like it's too late to start over.
I'm 24, and definitely having a major quarterlife crisis. I have changed my mind several times about what field I want to pursue for my master's degree, and I finally settled on a science-related field, meaning that to even be accepted into grad school, I need to take tons of prerequisite courses (my bachelor's degree is not science-related at all). I'll definitely be in school for at least 4-5 more years. Because I am pursuing a field in which I have zero experience, I am having a hard time finding even entry-level positions which will give me experience I need to get into grad school. In addition, I am getting married in less than a year, and sort of freaking out because I definitely don't feel like a grown-up in many ways. I love him to pieces, but it's still a scary idea that I will be MARRIED. I think that a crisis right now is completely normal, and lots of people go through it, but it doesn't make it any easier. My parents keep telling me I am young and things will work out, but I am impatient and do not like being in limbo. I definitely understand where you are coming from though, and it's good to know that others are in the same boat.
I can relate to being in a sort of crisis, even though I just turned 21-- I am so freaking out about what my life will be like next year when I graduate. A lot of my friends are in serious relationships (some even marriage!) and I know of 3 of my old hs who are currently pregnant. many of my college buddies know exactly what they want to do(most say grad school). and here I am, completely single and with no real idea of what I am going to do with my degree in English and Art History. I guess it happens to all of us, but hopefully I can just get it together
I'm 26 and definitely spent the last few years in a kind of crisis. I completely changed my professional goals, and some of my personal ones as well. I think the key (as some others have said) is to take each thing as it comes. Be open to lots of experiences, do what you need to do to be happy and feed yourself today, and try to steer yourself toward what really moves you. That can be in small ways at first -- no need for big epiphanies.
I think the thing that my quarter life crisis has taught me so far is that although I have some solid career and life goals right now, they could still change again, and THAT'S OKAY. Dissatisfaction and depression can suck, a lot, but they're useful tools to show where things need to change.
I think the people that look like they've got it all together at 25 are faking it! I'm 24, did 5 years of uni right out of high school, graduated and got a job right away and have been working for 2 years. Plus I'm getting engaged soon. All my friends and I talk about is how horrible it will be to have to work for the next 30 years! I could change jobs but I can't think of anything I'd like to do any better than this, plus I make good money right now and don't want to give that up. So I keep hoping to win the lottery Then I can lay in bed all morning with my cat every day, get massages and manicures and travel all the time.
Edited because I forgot how old I am
Last edited by yesitsmeagain; 03-04-2008 at 07:15 PM.
Quarterlife Crisis?
Then I can lay in bed all morning with my cat every day, get massages and manicures and travel all the time. 