Weight Loss Support - Are you in denial about how you really look?




Apple Cheeks
03-01-2008, 01:58 PM
When you see yourself in the mirror do you tell yourself "I don't look so bad" even when the fit of your clothes, your mirror, and all other evidence points to the opposite?

For too long I think I've been in this weird denial about how I really look: I am always telling myself "You don't look so bad!" Also, I would crop or just trash any pictures of me that were unflattering, and just pretend they had been taken from a bad angle or whatever. All this allowed me to continue with bad eating habits, and not getting any exersize.

Well, recently I saw some pictures of myself that forced me to admit that I've been lying to myself. I guess having to buy bigger clothes, getting mean comments, and having to wear baggy, unattractive clothes to hide my size all didn't register with me. I've gotten good at hearing and seeing only what I want. I knew I wasn't fit, but I figured I looked "okay" and I thought I was okay with it. I guess it's easier to lie to yourself than it is to face reality and actually do something about it. :(

I know there are people out there who convince themselves they are fat, no matter how thin they actually are.

I guess I'm wondering if there is anyone else out there who finds their "little voice" lying to them, and trying to convince them that they aren't as big as they really are?


JayEll
03-01-2008, 02:26 PM
Oh, gosh, I did that for years. I am someone who wasn't overweight when younger, but became overweight slowly over my adult years. And it was easy not to see the differences over time. I still had an image of myself in my head that was "normal" sized.

Like you, photos pretty much proved it to me. That and having to buy size 20 clothes (which were starting not to fit so well...).

Also, I began looking in the mirror with reality in mind--and no clothes on--and seeing that yes, I am fat. I am really fat. By then I was in the obese range for my height.

I'm no longer obese, but I am still overweight, and I still make sure that I do reality checks on that.

Jay

nineteen
03-01-2008, 02:35 PM
I also did that for years. I was definitely in denial.


Heffalump
03-01-2008, 03:02 PM
Oh, I definitely have that tendency. :halffull:

Even at my heaviest (or rather, especially then) I didn't perceive myself as obese, even though my BMI certainly said so (yeah, sure, it was all muscles and heavy bones), and even though I *was* obsessing about my weight all the time.

One of the things that shock me the most are pictures that show me with other people and seeing how much larger I look in comparison, especially if I'd have thought that we were about the same weight.

The same is true in reverse, though - there were at least two instances in my life when I lost weight due to stress and didn't see it at all. Again, it's only when I see pictures of myself at maximum weight vs. minimum weight (which was never anywhere near skinny either, though) that I can tell the dramatic difference between them.

Apple Cheeks
03-01-2008, 03:21 PM
One of the things that shock me the most are pictures that show me with other people and seeing how much larger I look in comparison, especially if I'd have thought that we were about the same weight.



This is kind of what happened to me recently.

There are some pictures of me taken where I am standing with my brother. Now, if I just look only at myself, I can fool myself into thinking I look "okay." But when I compare myself to my brother standing next to me, who is about the same height as me, I have to admit I'm really not looking "okay." He looks like he's only about half as wide as me! Ugh.

I've printed out those pictures and they are now on my refridgerator, my computer, and in the room where I work out to remind me what I really look like, and to silence that little lying voice that tells me I'm not that fat!

TheWalrus
03-01-2008, 03:24 PM
Definitely. I gained my weight pretty dramatically (100+ lb in 18 months, with no change in diet or exercise -- still keeps the doctors guessing), so I have only recently started seeing myself as fat -- though I absolutely am. I keep telling myself that when the doctors finally figure out what's going on, they can fix it, and then I'll just magically lose the weight. I'm starting to admit that this is a problem I need to handle on my own -- whether or not the medicos can figure it out.

Heffalump
03-01-2008, 03:29 PM
Now, if I just look only at myself, I can fool myself into thinking I look "okay." But when I compare myself to my brother standing next to me, who is about the same height as me, I have to admit I'm really not looking "okay." He looks like he's only about half as wide as me!

Exactly! That's exactly how I feel - horribly enough, with me it's some older pictures of me with my husband that make me feel this way... :(

I love your avatar, by the way - the apple's expression of horror is priceless!

FakeFrowns
03-01-2008, 04:42 PM
I agree, there always seems to be this little voice in my head telling me its ok, my size is fine, which it most definately isnt. I was looking at a website last weekend that suggested to take photos of yourself with only underwear on to see what I really looked like, the only thing i can say about that is that i was horrified. I could see every little imperfection. Every lump and bump but instead of thinking something positive like wanting to change, i chose the simple option and just cried and ate until i felt better. I mulled it over all week and decided that weight loss is the only thing that will make me happy. I think i had a very bad case of denial! That little voice has been muted... hopefully!

mamac
03-01-2008, 04:56 PM
absolutley...i was totally in denial...and probably still am to some degree, however... it probably gets us through the day and sanity too with the culture we live in...its funny how our own self and or body image is not always congruent with our realistic body or person...even if we are told out loud or looking directly at ourselves...I think the real true reflection comes from inside...regardless of how one looks...i dont think its a problem to believe and feel good about yourself, no matter what you may look like, really...as long as your working on strengthening your inner self...then the outer self will reflect that...really, its our heads that gets us where we are and want to go...right?

Healthy Mama
03-01-2008, 05:21 PM
OMG I completely had/have this problem. I have the opposite of anorexia! I still see myself (in my minds eye) as looking like I did in my 20's. I just completely lost it when I saw a recent photo of myself. It made me feel sick really to see just how fat I was. Ihe person in the photo and the person who I see myself are - not even close to being the same. Like the size 20 jeans weren't a big clue! I guess it's a coping mechanism of some sort. I hope I have a better grip on reality now. :dizzy:

shelby897
03-01-2008, 05:27 PM
Add me to the list :D -- I actually have been looking at "thin" pictures of myself lately, trying to get out of denial, but I just can't seem to make the comparison in my thick head!!

It's like I don't like how I look but once I get dressed and away from mirrors, I "forget" how big I actually am. I also notice when I walk the malls and pass those mirrors in front of stores sometimes :(.

So, this morning I spent a long, long time in front of the mirror and forced myself to take a good peek at what I really looked like. I was thoroughly disgusted but I think it really did me some good!!

mariquita
03-01-2008, 05:34 PM
Sometimes I wish that I would wake up with a healthy body :(

JayEll
03-01-2008, 05:40 PM
mariquita, keep going with your program, and you will! :cheer2:

Jay

JasonsLea
03-01-2008, 06:06 PM
That's me. I've been big for as long as I can remember but I've always felt and acted (internally) like I was smaller than I am. Then I see pics, and just can't believe how awful I look.

trekkiegirl
03-01-2008, 06:16 PM
I was in semi-denial. My weight came on gradually over the years. At my physical 4-5 years ago, I was 180. By the end of 2006, I was 202. I knew that I was getting bigger. I didn't especially like it but I wasn't motivated enough to do anything about it, thinking, on some level, I was still okay, I could still hide it, at least a little....as long as you didn't look at my big butt, the rest of me ain't so big, I thought. :p I hated pictures because I always looked bigger in them than I thought. But at the end of 2006, it was a photograph, passing the 200-pound mark, and seeing a couple of co-workers successfully lose weight, that something finally clicked on in my head.

Now....as Heffalump mentioned, I am also experiencing the reverse. I've lost over 30 pounds and 90% of the time I look in the mirror and see that 202 pound body. If I didn't have the evidence of the scale, my clothes and people's comments and I had just my mind's eye to go by, I would tell you I look and weigh the same. Occasionally, I think I see a difference but nowhere to the extent others claim to. When they tell me I've lost "so much weight", I think was I really so big that I could lose "so much weight"?

PaulaM
03-01-2008, 11:47 PM
Definitely true for me. Even though realistically I knew I had gotten huge, it never really sunk in. What did it for me, I was in line at a ladies' restroom, everybody was shown from the side in the mirrors. I looked twice as big in the mirror as the others, but inside I felt the same size. I guess we're the opposite of an anorexic who always thinks she looks fat, we still think we are slim?

Gela
03-02-2008, 12:43 AM
I was in denial for the past 5 years. I gained the weight so fast and didn't care. I was buying bigger clothes and it still didn't click some how. Too many health scares for me and my husband snapped me out of it (he's 30, and i'm 28) and realized we can't live like this anymore.

Kery
03-02-2008, 01:39 AM
I was like this too. Perhaps because I've roughly been the same weight from 13 to 19, then lost a bit, but when I started to regain slowly, it didn't feel particularly weird, since I was just going back to the weight I had always known. It took me some time (and some unflattering old photos in which I looked 10 years older than my 23-y old self... puffy and tired face, all that stuff) to make me realize that, uhm, yes, I was getting seriously fat. (Nowadays, I still tell myself that I don't look so bad, but this time, it's likely because it's true. Even if I'm not as skinny girl, I'm far from my highest weight.)

wyoming
03-02-2008, 02:39 AM
I know I'm in denial. I was recently in a wedding and I felt totally hot in my dress, and when I saw the pictures I was like WHOA! Not pleased.

But the flip side of this is at that wedding I got seriously laid! Even with the denial, I like the fact that I get dolled up and I feel hot.

Can we do both? Not be in denial, but still feel hot? Maybe it's just working on the outside to feel like the inside...:?:

3rd child
03-02-2008, 03:19 AM
I like to do that too! Just that not with photos but in front of the mirrors. Photos always makes me looks a lot more fatter so I don't really like it. But somehow in front of the mirror makes me feel better. Have the tendency to tell myself that I look pretty good and I'm not really as fat as I thought it to be, even though my size keeps increasing. Photos depress me, but mirrors kind of lighten me up. It's weird. I guess I just like to lie in front of the mirror.

Horo
03-02-2008, 04:27 AM
I sorta of have that but in the opposite.. I've always been WAY too harsh on myself and I tend to think that I'm bigger than I actually am. Especially now that I've lost weight... I keep getting compliments from everyone but most of the time, I still think I look like I did at my highest weight in the mirror! Sometimes I think I even look fatter than I did before.
Oddly enough, when I see pictures of myself that look good, I think "oh, that must of been taken at a good angle, there's no way I look like that."

It's crazy but I've been working hard on changing it.

hotmomma
03-02-2008, 04:47 AM
Definitely. I gained my weight pretty dramatically (100+ lb in 18 months, with no change in diet or exercise -- still keeps the doctors guessing), so I have only recently started seeing myself as fat -- though I absolutely am. I keep telling myself that when the doctors finally figure out what's going on, they can fix it, and then I'll just magically lose the weight. I'm starting to admit that this is a problem I need to handle on my own -- whether or not the medicos can figure it out.

This is pretty much what happened to me.
I gained 40 pounds in 3 months - with no real explanation from the docs. It's frustrating and it made me want to cry :?:

I never felt that I had a bad diet, but people assume I do nothing but eat cheeseburgers all day.

mommyagain3
03-02-2008, 03:44 PM
I too have the same problem. But for me I see pictures and still dont get it. My husband tells me i am perfect and trust me I love that but at the same time i guess i have convinced myself that i dont look that bad. When my kids see wedding pictures of me back in my 20's before they were born they laugh. They think my neck looks so funny! ITs just becuase you can see my neck bones!!! I have been thinking about taking a picture of myself in just my underwear so maybe then it will sink in. Or maybe i will have to face the truth!!!

seranab
03-02-2008, 08:51 PM
It's quite strange really. You see - when I was at my heaviest, I can't remember loathing my body or bullying myself like I do now. Now I'm only 17lb lighter but I cannot see the difference at all. Everyday I see myself in my undies in the mirror and I'll just slap my fat around so it jiggles and tell myself I'm so disgusting and yucky. At my highest weight, I never did things like that... I wasn't happy with my weight, I felt heavy, tired, lethargic all the time but I there was no self-loathing.

Even now, I can't say that I see a difference. Other people do! But I still hate every gross lump and bump. What is even stranger... is that when I'm faced with someone my height + weight I don't have any sort of disgust towards them. Actually even if people are bigger or smaller than me... it doesnt really concern me (sounds strange doesnt it?).

I think because I AM incredibly self-critical I don't really notice what other people are doing? maybe?

IndianaGirl
03-02-2008, 09:18 PM
Back in High School I thought I was fat. I was self conscious-I look at pictures now and I was HOT! Now I don't realize how big I've gotten. Strange-huh?

Just this weekend I was visiting friends and we took pictures before heading to the bar-looking at them I said "WOW We look Fat!" (my friend is the same size as me) She started laughing and said "well...."

wyoming
03-02-2008, 09:54 PM
I totally feel you IndianaGirl. I was pushed into a lot of freak dieting in high school because I was told I was too big and man, I can't WAIT till I'm that size again.

SouthLake
03-02-2008, 10:26 PM
Guilty as charged. It seems that I just can't comprehend my current size. I see people the same height/weight/build as me and think that I can't possibly be that size. I see other people that wear the same size that I do, and I just don't look like that in my head. When I look at myself I know that I AM big, much bigger than I used to be, but I just don't feel that big. It's all very odd...

And the whole picture thing? Yeah... I just don't go there.

kcmolisa
03-02-2008, 10:38 PM
Add me to the Denial Club. I was the same way as you guys in high school. I thought I was so huge, and now I see pictures and I looked amazing.

The wakeup call for me wasn't a picture, but I recently went on a flight to Tampa. I haven't flown in about four years and when I got in the seat, I was sure that it had shrunk since last time. I felt like I was totally stuffed in there. Then I looked at my mom sitting next to me and she had room to spare on both sides. That's when I was like, things have got to change.

Darkblue
03-02-2008, 10:44 PM
I'm okay looking straight into the mirror, and then I turn sideways...whoa. What happened? I'm big enough to be 8 months pregnant. All my weight's in my abdominal region. Legs are ok...but belly, back, waist...yuck. But dressed, straight on, it's not too bad. Maybe I need to look bad all over for it to really sink in. :(

bethe24
03-02-2008, 11:12 PM
Oh yeah! I think of myself as how I "used to be." It's definitely a roadblock sometimes to weight loss because I don't always think it's as bad as it is. But when I see pictures of myself there is no denying. :^:

peachcake
03-02-2008, 11:19 PM
I hear ya darkblue. I carry ALL my weight in the chest/belly area. I'm really big from front to back but not so bad side to side. I think I was always in denial. I agree with the whole hjigh school thing. I thought I was fat but looking back i would KILL to be that size again. I have only actually gained a size or two but somehow 40lbs came along with it. Ick. I look at myself naked in the mirror and think "No wonder I'm single". It's sad and depressing but now I am trying to fix that.

kisskiss
03-02-2008, 11:53 PM
hmm so y'all can add me to the club of denial :)
I just started wearing bigger and bigger clothes, not really accepting that I was gaining weight. It's weird that I let myself get into such a state of denial. and the pictures, well I hated to take pictures. But, Its starting to get better. Before I used to just refuse to take pictures, no matter how many times someone asked. Now, I will get in front of the camera and give a saucy smile :)

Dorys Girl
03-03-2008, 12:11 PM
Ugh...high school. I always thought I was fat (thanks to all the teasing I received as a child), but looking back at all the photos, I think I looked quite healthy. I definitely still see myself as the fat girl and I think I always will, no matter how thin I become.

mommyagain3
03-03-2008, 12:48 PM
OK so after reading this last night I made my husband take a picture of me in just underwear and a bra. OMG! I guess i was really in denial. I am hoping that this helps me and so far today i have made great choices. The thing that was weird to me is that if you look at my stomach area you can see exactly where my pregnancy belly was! My baby is going to be 7 in may! It looks like you could just remove my stomach, stick a baby in and cover it back up. My mom says this is because i was born to have babies!!! But before my kids this was not there!!!!

Lovely
03-03-2008, 01:34 PM
Nope. I'm hot ;)

Tavinni
03-03-2008, 01:51 PM
I'm with Faerie, Even as a big girl I think that I am pretty cute. I know that I am a big beautiful woman and I am not going to let my weight define how pretty I think that I am.

I'm cute!

But I know that I am a big girl who needs to be a lot healthier. If I am in denial I prefer to keep it this way, at least if I think that I am cute and happy with it...I am happy.

nutrition junkie
03-03-2008, 02:52 PM
I'm kind of the opposite...I've lost 28lbs now, and i know that i have, but i don't see it at all when i look in the mirror. I see the exact same heavy girl that started this journey. I've gotten smaller, but i feel bigger. I wear a size 8 but i see the size 14. I think i have body dysmorphic disorder. The thing is at 196 i really didn't realize how large i had gotten until i saw pics, but now i'm fixated on it. all i see is the weight i have to lose, not the improvement so far.

Sgirl
03-03-2008, 02:58 PM
Yes, I do have this illusion too. It is like "The Opposite of Anorexia" as "Healthy Mama" described. But it's not just my mind's eye. I think it also has to do with some "enablers" I have in my life. Like, my husband, who denies seeing fat or flab on my body even if I grab it and point it out directly to him. (Though to be fair to him, I would probably get angry if he dared comment on my fat). But that makes me think "yeah I must not be that bad". We are newly weds and my wedding pictures smacked me with reality. I have been busy cropping and choosing photos that only show me from the chest up. I don't think I will ever truly see myself as others see me, but I agree that once I lose more and feel even better inside it won't matter.

JAYAGODDESS
03-03-2008, 03:33 PM
I am guilty I was in denial for 7 years...!!! It is crazy how we trick our minds ... Tonight I am going to the gym....I haven't been there in 2 weeks...ouch ...that hurts to say but it is true. as far as photos go....hahaha...there are very very very few and yes I would crop them as well. I did post last week of all of me..and it was scary..but I need to see it in front of me from time to time...haha

Fat Pants
03-03-2008, 04:14 PM
Absolutely. I was just talking to my friend about this. Yeah, I know I'm obese. I look in the mirror and know that I'm far, far away from that 130-lb girl I used to be in college. But there is always the part of me that thinks "I'm not THAT bad... right?"

Last week a friend took a picture of me and my other friend (who is probaly a size two, dripping wet) and I was mortified. In the picture, I feel as though I look about 100 lbs bigger than I do in real life. But I wonder - is this how other people see me? Is this how my husband sees me? Am I just kidding myself?

I've really thought about printing out that photo and keeping it in my desk drawer at work. I feel disgusted every time I picture it in my mind.

sweettart08
03-03-2008, 06:40 PM
I'm going to jump in here - this will be my first post! I can totally relate to what everyone is saying. I definitely don't think of myself as "ok" but I guess like another poster said, once I'm dressed and away from mirrors, I am able to "forget" what I saw. When someone sends me a picture of myself that I find horrifying, I just throw it away and pretend I never saw it. When I see a picture of myself that IS flattering for whatever reason (maybe a good angle) I just try to believe that is really how I look to everyone else. I don't know anymore. I think this is the time for me to really make some life changes though...no more dieting and hating every minute of it (I'm definitely not a dieter). And when I think of working out because I'm "fat" and have to lose weight....I get angry and give up. I need to exercise as a part of a healthier lifestyle. Exercise because it's fun. I am really excited about using 3FC as a support tool - and offering whatever support I can to the rest of you ladies as well :)

Lovely
03-03-2008, 07:44 PM
:wel3fc: Sweettart!

I hope you find some areas you're comfortable with & keep on posting!

Didaz
03-04-2008, 06:42 AM
Yeah completly, just the other day I looked in the mirror and got a very good idea of what im actually dealing with everyday. I never thought I looked this bad...In deNILE lol well since then ive kinda gone from very upset and eating more and then after that I started going to the gym more often and cutting out the obvious bad foods. But still get upset about not beeing born with a fabolous metabolism... oh well...gotta work with what I got. :)

Sgirl
03-05-2008, 08:15 PM
I hear ya darkblue. I carry ALL my weight in the chest/belly area. I'm really big from front to back but not so bad side to side. I think I was always in denial. I agree with the whole hjigh school thing. I thought I was fat but looking back i would KILL to be that size again. I have only actually gained a size or two but somehow 40lbs came along with it. Ick. I look at myself naked in the mirror and think "No wonder I'm single". It's sad and depressing but now I am trying to fix that.

"peachcake" and "darkblue" you are Ferrari's too??? I carry ALL my weight in the boobs and stomache! It's SO HARD to find jeans cause if they fit on the waste they are unbelieveably saggy in the legs and butt! I heard a great 'philosopher' say, "Some men like a little junk in the truck, well I'm a high end sports car! My trucks in the front!" Just thought I'd share it cause it made me smile! Here's to healthy waistlines to come! :hat:

pengy
03-05-2008, 10:59 PM
Hmm.... I feel like a paradox.

I have days where I look in the mirror and think I don't look that bad and I wonder if it is healthy to go through this diet/exercise? And other days.. I realize though I may not appear very large with clothes on, my body fat percentage is fairly high and I only kinda appear lean in the mirror since I keep it tilted at an angle to make me feel better. ^_^;; On these days, I scrutinize every roll and grab at it.. this can go on for a long period of time. Just looking in the mirror and poking away at all of my fleshy parts.

In conclusion, I have no idea how I really look at all. Depends on my mood.. whether I'm in denial or too critical. Am I alone in my bipolar ways..? :^:

DaisyNicole
03-06-2008, 07:16 AM
"peachcake" and "darkblue" you are Ferrari's too??? I carry ALL my weight in the boobs and stomache! It's SO HARD to find jeans cause if they fit on the waste they are unbelieveably saggy in the legs and butt! I heard a great 'philosopher' say, "Some men like a little junk in the truck, well I'm a high end sports car! My trucks in the front!" Just thought I'd share it cause it made me smile! Here's to healthy waistlines to come! :hat:

I wish i had the confidence to call myself a high end sports car and not an old school beat up VW bug with the trunk in the front!! :D

Most of my weight is in my stomach... so i get that "oooh i look HOTTT" from the front... then i turn to the side... EEEK!

sweettart08
03-06-2008, 10:00 AM
This is me too....my pants are either REALLY tight in the waist, or look like baggy boy jeans everywhere else. I am finally letting go of my low rise days and realizing that if I wear higher waisted jeans, the look is much more flattering...it's just taking some getting used to :dizzy:

And pengy, you're not alone. Some days I convince myself that I really just need to tone a little bit, but that I'm happy right where I am weight-wise. On those days, I think that "dieting" will be the greater of two evils because it makes me miserable. But then other days I feel like I would go through ANYTHING to lose the weight and I can hardly bare to look in the mirror. AHHH! So anyways, I have decided to keep a food journal and be accountable for the bad choices I make...but not be too hard on myself either. If I mess up, I move on THE NEXT TIME I EAT...not say "screw the whole week" or whatever. And I'm making a point to keep moving thoughout the day...whether that's a walk, playing outside with my boys and our dog, or doing leg lifts while I'm standing at the microwave waiting for my tea water ;)

I'm NOT dieting....I'm just making a choice to live healthy.....

scrappinRN
03-06-2008, 12:25 PM
.... but I wonder what people see? I have been asked if I am pregnant and I see my belly sticking out put I am sure I am not really realistic about what I look like. The mirror is not my friend but as always I am back on track for today and will take it one meal at a time because I refuse to be ashamed anymore!!!

BrandNewJen
03-06-2008, 01:22 PM
Geesh... wow... I'm an inch shorter than you and weighed 50 pounds heavier at my highest... and I (honestly) never got mean comments about my weight. Never. I IMAGINED a lot, I was self-conscious and always WORRIED people were saying things... but I never got them.

I've always been able to carry my weight well and even at 302 pounds (6'1") I was in a 20 pant. But carrying your weight well only goes so far. So I knew that I looked not my greatest... but I always knew I was still pretty (the fat hadn't gotten to the point where it was fluffing up my face too badly---again, thanks to my height, I really believe!!!)


And again, like others... I had a harder time seeing the weight LOSS that others saw! 5 years back I dieted down from a size 18 / 250 pounds to a size 14, 215 pounds... and looked excellent (from those few photos I have back then) But I never knew it. I had a hard time seeing it. I could FEEL it... but didn't see it.

Weird, huh?

Apple Cheeks
03-06-2008, 06:43 PM
I don't get mean comments a lot (probably because I'm big enough to put a serious beat down on most people ;)) , but I was called a "fat a**" by a co-worker in front of a few other people. I wanted to just crawl away and die of humiliation and cry my eyes out, but had to sit there and pretend it didn't faze me. :(

Like you, I do carry my weight well because I'm so tall. But, I think it helps me to ignore the fact that I am overweight and don't look so wonderful anymore.

kaplods
03-06-2008, 09:47 PM
I have to say that when anyone throws fat at me in an argument, I tend to yell "what the ___ does my being fat have to do with it?" If I'm really mad, I'll as something like "you ___, but I didn't drag that into this (filling the blank with smell bad, are bald, impotent, ugly.... whatever I think will hit the hardest).

I think the question has pretty much been interpreted as "are you aware of how fat you really are?" And since this is 3FC that makes quite a bit of sense, and probably was what was intended. But do you think anyone has a true perception of how attractive they are? Do thin ugly people know they are ugly, what makes them ugly, and how truly ugly they are (ooh - that sounds horrible to say, doesn't it? probably shouldn't even think that should we?), but why isn't it just as horrible to think about ourselves.

I don't give a fig about how I look to the world anymore, the populous at large can kiss my big butt if they don't like it. I spent far too many years trying to become "acceptable looking," doing crazy things to try to achieve it quickly and destroying my health in the process. I'm finally putting myself truly first and looking at my long term health and quality of life.

I don't care that fat isn't considered beautiful. Neither is buck teeth and thick glasses. But since fat is considered more than unattractive, it's considered "nasty" and contemptible a sign of laziness and stupidity - that's harder to deal with. Being socially acceptable (or in some cases, even ignorable) can be such a pressure that it can cause desperation. And that I think is wrong. I don't think any fat person should be "desperate" to lose weight quickly - because it often leads to doing very stupid things, that often only result in becoming fatter, sadder, and more desperate.

JayEll
03-07-2008, 07:14 AM
That co-worker's comment was completely inappropriate, and I'm wondering why you had to pretend it didn't faze you. Anyone who would call me a "fat a**" would be taking a big chance! :club:

Jay

sweettart08
03-07-2008, 10:07 AM
That co-worker's comment was completely inappropriate, and I'm wondering why you had to pretend it didn't faze you. Anyone who would call me a "fat a**" would be taking a big chance! :club:

Jay

I have to agree with this - COMPLETELY inappropriate!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that...but you can turn those moments into your inspiration, and when it's all over (you're at goal), say "Look at me now!"!! I truly wish you (and all the ladies on here!) the BEST of luck :hug:

BrandNewJen
03-07-2008, 10:33 AM
Ah yes... you're right. You WOULD put them in their place. Some people would. I am a big, tall, strong woman... you can say ANYTHING To me and I will argue and fight 'til I'm the last one standing.

I have one... one tiny little weak spot... and that's "F-A-T". When that's thrown on the table, I turn into a squirmy, pathetic, tearful little baby. I just can't stand my ground when it happens.

(thank god it hasn't really happened). But the time or two is has come close or been hinted at the air just gets punched right out of me.

Sad, but true...

Apple Cheeks
03-07-2008, 10:33 AM
That co-worker's comment was completely inappropriate, and I'm wondering why you had to pretend it didn't faze you.

Because he's one of those people who gets off on being a jerk to others, and if he knew he'd found a weak spot of mine he'd be sure to use it over and over.

But, I found his sore spot during that little exchange: I simply called him a midget (he's about 5' tall) and he didn't like that at all. :D

Beach Patrol
03-07-2008, 01:08 PM
Well.... hmmmm... I am kinda "the opposite" ... I think I look WAY WORSE than I actually do (according to my "loved ones"!!)

I mean.... I am technically short ... and I weigh 190. How can I NOT look dumpy??? :( BUT... I have been a weight lifter since 1982 - that's 16 years of lifting, so I do have muscles! - and muscle weighs more than fat... so I may not look QUITE 190... but OMG, I am. :o

And of course on the DOWN SIDE... I realize how far I have to go & it's soooo daunting!!! Waaaahhh. :^:

However, this is the main reason why I like seeing my avatar.... me, in August 2005. It reminds me of what I KNOW I CAN DO when I get really fed-up, & really serious about my health & my body. I know I can do it. I've done it before. Just sometimes it seems like the journey is too far, & I'm too tired to make it this time. But then I try try again. I may "quit" for a while, but I will NEVER give up!!! :D

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Charles-Schulz/Peanuts-Never-Ever-EVER-Give-Up-Print-C12205001.jpeg

pflughzy
03-08-2008, 07:00 AM
Guilty as charged! I know that there are plenty of times that I've checked my look in the mirror and thought...not too shabby! And then my lovely sister took a photo of my dad and I looking for shells on vacation...HOLY COW!!! My butt is huge, and such a flattering shot (bent at the waist w/ my rear in the air) I needed a "Wide Load" sign posted back there!

Seeing that pic was definately an eye opener for me. Now I find myself doing the same as some of you-standing in fromt of the mirror in my undies and examining every lump and bump and stretchmark. Hmmm, maybe my mind's eye needs some glasses!!!

BlueDrgnfly
03-08-2008, 07:51 AM
Hmm... can I be kinda guilty??

I think my perception of how I look is fairly accurate as far as the front of me. But once I saw a picture my sister took of me from behind and I was appalled by how wide I was! My hips and butt were huge! :O Even my sister mentioned I look a lot skinnier from the front.

Funny though, I might have an alright perception on how my body is shaped - but people often point out that how attractive/pretty I think I am is way skewed. I tend to think I'm not so attractive, but I've had people tell me otherwise - just proves that while I might have one area of body image under control, the other is a mess!

Darkblue
03-08-2008, 11:36 AM
I completely hate having pictures taken of me. Hate it, would rather slam my fingers in the car door.

The mirror is bad enough.

Hat Trick
03-08-2008, 04:21 PM
"Are you in denial about how you really look?"

Na, I figured out I was fat all on my very own! :D