General Diet Plans and Questions - The Beck Diet Solution – March 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach

03-01-2008, 05:32 AM
Welcome to The Beck DIET solution discussion group, support group, diet coach group relating to the book by Dr. Judith S. Beck:The Beck DIET solution: train your brain to think like a thin person.

The Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).

There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if we learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach.

This is a place to discuss the Beck strategies and our daily efforts, to receive and provide support, and, for some of us, is where we serve as on-line diet coach to each other.

If you’ve arrived from a search engine, you’ve landed at the site of 3 fat chicks, a remarkable place for those interested in a healthy life style, including mindful eating, exercise, and weight loss. More about the site, including how to register so that you can post can be found here (

The book, The Beck Diet Solution, is available on Amazon through the 3FC store by clicking here (

Previous Beck threads on

The Beck Diet Solution – February 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach (
The Beck Diet Solution – January 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach (
The Beck Diet Solution – December 2007 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach (
The Beck Diet Solution - November 2007 (
The Beck Diet Solution - October 2007 (
The Beck Diet Solution - September 2007 (
The Beck Diet Solution - August 2007 (
The Beck Diet Solution - July 2007 (
The Beck Diet Solution - May/June 2007 (

03-01-2008, 07:36 AM
Diet Coaches - Finished my third gym session of the week doing 3 sets of each routine (up from 2 sets). CREDIT moi. I felt chagrin when the young guy to my right was doing the same exercise with 60# barbells that I was doing with 40#. Was happily chanting, My body, my journey; My body, my journey... when I noticed the young guy to my left using 35#. Immediately felt sooooo smug, but of course that's lopsided; it's no more rational to gloat than it is to beat up on myself. Saying ten times, My body, my journey; My body, my journey ...

[Looking for someone to start the discussion for Program-day 13, Overcome Cravings]

Sue (CoastalSue) - Congrats on the additional pound and for the one third off milestone and Kudos for a restrained response to the treats. Sympathy for having to endure the fat prejudice of our society. Such a useful thought for me to ponder, "I now look at overeating as an unhealthy coping pattern that I am changing." It will help me to overcome my own fat prejudice (toward myself as well as others) if I can internalize that notion - its an unhealthy coping pattern.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Congrats on another pound lost, and Kudos for rewarding yourself for it. Methinks you're onto the key difference between a lifestyle change and a diet with, "truly wanting to eat the food that I make for myself." Do you have any suggestions for how to get into flylady for addressing my clutter issue? Should I start with one of her books?

wendy (wendylan) - Kudos for getting right back on track by rewriting your lost cards. Lentils are just about my favorite food. DW regularly makes three different recipes: a baked casserole, vegetable lentil soup, and the classic Indian Dahl (curried). I love all three, but Dahl makes me drool it's so yummy.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Powerful thought here: "It occurs to me that the healthy place between the extremes of diet perfection and out of control or mindless binging happens when we love ourselves regardless of our behavior." Thanks for this discussion. My great concern remains that I'll fail to meet my own "inhuman standards" and then try to avoid the pain of that by simply yielding all personal responsibility for my healthy journey. My best Beck defense is the Helpful Response: Believe It. I now have the skills to get back on track.

barbpos – Kudos for carefully planning for your two eating events. For me, my mind clicks into a different place when I hit a food event with a plan. When I'm unplanned, my mind seems to forget everything about my healthy journey; it so easily reverts to feeding frenzy thinking. Sending good thoughts for your cardiologist appointment.

onebyone – Kudos for the cleanup and rescuing the kitchen table. Kudos for not taking seconds, and Kudos for giving yourself credit. Kudos for making plans. WOW - You're on a roll here!

Readers – "To choose appropriate foods and to use appropriate eating behaviors consistently and permanently, you have to learn how to make permanent changes in your thinking. …" Beck, pg 19.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-01-2008, 10:52 AM
:bunny2: Welcome March... HIHO Spring! Hurry up already!:brr:

Okay, so today is Day 10, set achievable goals. I like this 5lb goal business. Oh! My brain just slipped into sabotage mode! I was typing that and a small voice said "5lbs. :blah: who cares? that's not enough." Sigh. I think I'll use this, gently --> :frypan: (An aside here. Can a frying pan to the head EVER be gentle? I think not. Once my mother got so mad at my father she hurled a frozen turkey at him. I wasn't there when it happened. Holidays at home eh?)

Anyway, I digress. Five Pounds would be awesome! I can't think of a reward though. I am bad with rewards. I think it'll be a bracelet. That's mentioned in the book and I don't have one. I was using a necklace doubled up as a bracelet so maybe I'll do that. I'll look into a charm bracelet, get a charm for every 5lbs? That sounds good. Thanks Diet Coaches for helping me out.

I've already done a workout DVD. 1 mile WATP Power Walk. Couldn't go to the Y for water aerobics this morning. No class! (Can I call it Aquabics? When I first went to do those classes that's what they were called. I love that word. I'm just going to call it that.) I've had breakfast at my kitchen table, put on dinner in the crockpot and earned a kudos! I had water after working out and with breakfast (double kudos there) and during breakfast I had set out a pear for me to eat as "breakfast dessert" I found that I was too stuffed for that big pear and took a pear that was half its size instead. Wow. Guess that is progress. I noticed I was too full and I didn't just shove all that food in anyway. I made a choice based on feeling full. And I don't feel cheated from having the smaller version of what I thought I wanted. Wow.

Better go. The morning's slipping away.

Have a fantastic Saturday!

03-01-2008, 11:39 AM
Quick hi to all,

Should be on a different site, doing on-line study of a different discipline. Just a thought or two..

onebyone: What a great idea of a charm bracelet with a charm for each 5#s. While pounds lost are very poor measure of our progress (are you there, friend CoastalSue?), tracking the pesky buggers is the easiest measure we have. (I could do a page on how my wt. is very much acceptable by all the charts, but the 12 #s of FAT I have gained are in evidence as ALL FAT, in all the ugliest places possible, but that is my @%$@^ deal)

It just strikes me as very Beck-like, and perhaps even a new tip she might like to incorporate in her bag of helps for so many reasons. Think about the rubber band on the wrist trick for quitting smoking...and the Beck Advantage Response cards......these charms would be constant Advantage reminders......and a constant mindless eating reminder.....these little charms could be whatever you need them to be that day.....a reminder to give yourself credit.....that little charm, and those little charms as they add up.....could literally be a reminder of whatever Beck tool we need for the moment! Wow!

Imagine getting up in the morning, putting on your bracelet, thinking about the step or the day you are on.......or what your plan is for eating in a social would be a very physcial reminder to be mindful ..

I think you are onto something big, and I hope you do it. I am not a bracelet, charm kinda girl, but I might like to "worry" a pair of earings...hmm

Challenge to all: We are on the overcoming cravings day.....think about using a charm bracelet (or something else very physical and "wearable") to stop and think about the craving, rate the discomfort, choose a Beck tool for resisting, and remember, you have the Advantage Cards reminder there, too......

We just need that tool, that reminder to stop the madness......break the signal of food cravings calling to us..That awareness that says "STOP!"..we don't have to be zombie and eat it before we evaluate the outcome of giving into the craving...before we have time to, as Beck says, "Imagine the aftermath of giving in."

That little charm bracelet could be very useful...hmmmmmm

Congrats, dear Sue, 70 #s in a nice "round number"...a milestone to be sure..I wish I were a physics whiz to tell you how much pressure that is off knees and joints, but maybe 14 little charms on a bracelet would serve as a constant reminder to give yourselft credit!

BillBE, it strikes me that you are more joyful, gleeful of the new -found health and rewards of a slim healthy self than you are annoyed by the fact that you (we all) will have to practice the Beck strategies for life. Give yourself credit for being a joyful human. ...I am picturing you with a charm bracelet.....hmmm.......seems rather, well..........charming! :D:D

03-01-2008, 07:12 PM
Popping to say a quick hello to everyone.
I've been running around and I noticed I was popping food in my mouth once again. Just when I thought I had this part down. Well it be truthful I did let it slip with veggies while cooking friday. I think that may have sent this off. I know now I can't let even veggies past my lips while standing.

03-01-2008, 07:12 PM
Better day for me today,ate within program,tried a few recipes and got my 44 laps in at the Y although my kids were not behaving there and kept fighting.I now have them on clean the house duty and I told them if they can't get along I will not bring them swimming next time.Still working on redoing my cards.I have started rereading the book and one thought that stuck my early on in the book was "THERE ARE NO LOST CAUSES", if we apply the principles we will suceed,it may be slow and not always easy but it will work.NONE OF US are lost causes!

03-01-2008, 07:44 PM
At the risk of wearing out my welcome here and posting too much, I just have to write this out to you my Diet Coaches! I want to change this pattern so bad. I did great this morning and then this happened...

I have trouble most Saturday afternoons. I did it again today. I carry within me an attitude of feeling "entitled" to eat whatever I want on Saturdays, on the weekend, after "getting through the week" I tell myself. I guess I am using food as a reward here aren't I? Yep. Well this is what happened today. I'm going to type it out so I can figure it out. I did a dvd workout this morning. Ate breakfast. Did stuff, then decided to head over to the mall (a 15 minute walk) so before I left I made myself lunch, it was close to noon and then I went. I bought a set of 3lb weights that I wanted (part reward part incentive for me) and went looking for a buspass at the drugstore. I was frustrated that they'd sold out of buspasses so I went into the department store and bought what I needed there (rubbermaid bins) and at the cash I saw a deal on two chocolate bars for one price and so I bought two, telling myself this was okay "since I was using a credit card":?:.
I decided on the spot that I would eat both at once.
So then I was carrying two rubbermaid bins, 2 chocolate bars and 6lbs of weights. I left the mall and headed to the bus stop to see if I could get a bus pass there. Another 10 minute walk at least. The bus stop store didn't take credit cards so I had to walk home. Now a 25 minute walk with the snow falling around me carrying the weights, the bins, the bars and me feeling really tired, worn out (I'd been walking around for over an hour total by now with the weights), frustrated and I had a sore tummy. I made it home, dropped my stuff, grabbed the bars, came to the couch and ate them.
To my credit I did sit down to eat. Does that count?
Then I felt bad that I'd eaten "something bad" so I had some more of the soup I'd made for lunch, as if to make the chocolate into a meal of some sort to make myself feel better about it (I really wasn't hungry by now. When I ate the chocolate I was hungry.) I stopped there with the food and just felt *bad*. DH came up from the basement and sat on the couch. He looked sleepy or something, not quite himself and I found myself pressing him to eat. In the end I got him to agree to have popcorn after we found a hockey game on tv, and then I did something I never do, I melted margarine to put over the microwave popcorn. It's like I wanted to make my food the absolute WORST it could be. Like "see? see how bad I am?" that kind of a feeling. Who the h*&% am I talking to anyway?? The popcorn tasted like crap. My stomach got sore all over again, and now I am here writing this to you. Dinner is coming up and I am planning a sane one. But really dear coaches, THIS is how I set back my weightloss.

It's not the end of the world I know that. And that I can recount it coherently means I am trying to deal with it and not just brush it under the carpet and deny my own behaviour. That's no good. But if you've got any wisdom for me I would love to hear it. That feeling of "defiance" the:tantrum: side of me needs to be channeled into something other than food. Those of you further down the BDS path, does this book give us tools to help with that? It must.

03-01-2008, 09:04 PM
Happy Weekend to you all,

onebyone-you are writing my losing weight story-Why we do it to ourselves is a total mystery to me, this sabatoging pattern is one which I have had to cope with alot. My most successful days are those which I preplan what I am going to eat, write down when I eat the stuff and what cals are- keeping a running total for the day and now I include one treat for the day. Learn that from posting here from Heidi. I found those advantage cards very helpful-re read them alot-some times I could hear myself ask is this caloric stuff going to help reduce the pain in my knees. (mobility is my biggie to lose weight.) I have a long history of using food for coping-sense of reward for stressful time, soothing emotions. giving me "energy" when exhausted ect. Your awareness and then posting it is part of the changes, try keeping one of the most important reasons for you to loss weight in your mind, make a mantra out of it, try having a one planned treat each day. Yes I truly find Beck can help with long time core patterns! Someone here wrote here that other than hunger Food can not solve any other problems. I keep saying that over and over again during the day. You have a taken a hugh step in being aware of your patterns. How else can you reward yourself for a long hard week that will give you some sense of reward, luxury? You certainly deserve a reward while improving your healthy also.

Lost another lb yeah It is kind like a wave you mentioned Heidi. swam an hr today-all good. Now here is the scary part-tomarrow we leave the coast for 5 days-see family. friends, and take the train thru the Sierras to see the snow and spend 2 night in Reno. Reno NV- the sort of place which panders to cravngs and desire. So I guess I need to do Day 13 overcome cravings.

desire-Beck defines desire to eat as not being particulary hunger but eating because there is food around.
cravings is physiological and emotionally intense urge to eat.

Beck's advice
1. You have to stop giving in to them.
1st you have to collect information using the craving rating chart. Noting time. discomfort scale, and duration.
then using any of the following anti-craving stratgies
1. label it
2 stand firm,
4. Imagine the aftermath of giving in, the short time of food pleasure and
long lingering feeling upset with yourself.
5. Remind yourself of why you want to lose weight.
Behavioral Techniques
1. Run away from the food
2. Drink water or low- cal drink
3. relax-breathing techniques
4. distraction-refocus your attention.

To limit my desire I must remember to get the togo box 1 st thing or just some how get my plate taken away as soon as I finish the appropriate amount of food.

My biggest downfall has been dealing with the idea of no choice-I seem to rebel when I tell myself a big NO-I know that this works for others. I understand that it should but I need to add the following steps. I think about what I hope the craving will do-give me a sense of reward, take away anger, ect. What problem am I using this food to solve? It is bit of the meditation technique that when one looks at the mind you understand how temporary each thought is, When I ignore my tension it grows when I stop and look at it-then it just starts fading away.

How does everyone else cope with cravings?

MaryBlu-pondering your idea of a braclet to remind one of fighting the cravings. I like it just haven't got the right thing for me to use.

BillBlueEyes-I have to fight the desire to compare my swimming with those in other lanes. I am a slow swimminer but I can run like heck in the water-almost can beat the swimmers doing long running strides in the water. I agee it is a bit of no no to compare but so easy to do. I know the focus should be enjoy and stop the judging but heck I have just started to work on curbing the judgemental Sue.

Heidi-big congradulation on your 45 lbs loss!!

A big wave to everyone-hope I get a chance to read the posting during my travels-likely to respond next Friday


03-02-2008, 12:44 AM
Hi friends,

I am LOVING the dark chocolate! I have had a little bit each night for a few nights now-YUM and satisfying! My challenge tomorrow is that I will be driving DD up to the ski hill (about 45 min drive in prime conditions), sitting in the lodge while she has a ski lesson for 2 hours and then driving home. We will eat breakfast before we leave, I will make a coffee for me to go and plan to drink another coffee up in the lodge. I am also bringing lunch and snacks. We are going with friends and so if the other mom brings something snacky that is appealing to me, I may feel tempted…but I am NOT going to indulge in anything that I didn’t bring besides coffee with nonfat milk in it. I think that I will be okay if I focus on the beverages. Water could do it but coffee is hot and that sounds more special somehow. Credit moi for the following: cooking breakfast frittata to put in the freezer for during the week, planned weekday dinners for the next week, getting lots of unplanned exercise in lately, planning what I will eat the night before and recording it in fitday.

BillBlueEyes: checkout the flylady is not dot com but dot net. Way to go on those weights and for the reminder response of “my body, my journey”.

Onebyone: You are cruising! Way to pay attention to your hunger with the pear. Don’t worry about posting too much-this group serves us all and we all have different needs at different times. The book does deal with the general feeling of “it isn’t fair that I have to do xyz to lose weight/maintain”… She says to respond with “this is what I have to do in order to lose weight/maintain”. … Have you run into that pyramid picture symbolizing eating more after eating one thing “off plan”? It does help me sometimes to visualize that image since it spells out what we do when we choose to continue to eat (how the calories add up and really, the first item(s) weren’t THAT much of a ding in the plan in the overall scheme of things).

About your walking/candy bar/popcorn scenario: you did get some serious walking in-yes, it was stressful but it is still movement! Some people have tried planning in desired treats each day so that they don’t feel deprived. That whole experience sounded stressful which can be a trigger for lots of us to eat. Then, you were hungry and had two candy bars right there….Try to “stop right now and get back on your plan”…

Maryblu: I like that idea of having a bracelet to remind us of whatever we need (for now..cravings). I do struggle with having my cards out at work where others would see them, etc.. a bracelet or earrings or something (didn’t we talk about tattoos on the forehead at one point?) may be a good, and more subtle, reminder to myself.

Mesmerize: Hello!

Wendylan: love the reminder that none of us are lost causes! Amen!

Coastalsue: Have a wonderful trip to NV! I wish that we could put on “delicious food deflector suits” …. For times like that-traveling away from the comforts of the routine of home. I love that you can run faster than the fast swimmers in the pool even if we aren’t supposed to compare. 

03-02-2008, 08:14 AM
Diet Coaches - Thanks for all the encouragement for my exercising. So many different muscles, so little time. Have to remember that it's a journey, not a race.

Tonight presents an opportunity to practice eating on plan at a fancy restaurant with both young adult kids and their SO's. Don't anticipate much difficulty with appetizer, entree, and drink; my eating plan includes generous headroom for my occasional fancy restaurant ventures. I do need to be prepared for gratuitous baskets of hot breads with dips and for killer dessert options. CREDIT moi for telling you guys in advance; this will help me to remember to remain responsible rather than mindlessly eating everything in sight trying to calm my reactions to the steep menu pricing.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Congrats for another pound (didn't this same thing just happen quite recently). Did you happen to notice that you're out of the tens into the single digits? You seem to be steadily inching toward twoderland. Cheers. Have a nice trip to NV.

Thanks for the Program-day 13 summary. The key part of that for me is: Identify it. Before I identify it, my hand gets soooo quickly to my mouth without my brain participating. The response that is easiest for me is the diversion - if I get into something else, it's easier to forget the craving.

MaryBlu - Great idea to have a covert physical reminder to stick to our plans. When I was losing, I kept a playing card in my pocket date book representing, from the 2 of clubs to the ace of spades, progress in losing my first 52 pounds. Worked for me. The masculine equivalent of a charm bracelet is a heavy gold bracelet that, to me, screams "Steal me" when riding the subway. I'll have to think of a current token.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for a freezer full of frittatas - sounds yummy. WOW, was conversion to a dark chocolate person quick; you restore my prejudice that all humans are born hard wired attracted to dark chocolate. Your eating plan for the ski trip today sounds classic Beck, well done. LOL at “delicious food deflector suits” - you'll be VERY rich when you market that one.

wendy (wendylan) - Kudos for staying on plan and BIG Kudos for 44 laps.

Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos for seeing clearly what you're doing. It is amazing that a small letting go of responsibility for staying on plan provides an opening for a larger diversion, per your thoughtful, "I know now I can't let even veggies past my lips while standing."

onebyone – Kudos for noticing that you were full. Kudos for acting on your feeling of fullness with the smaller pear.

What a graphic story wandering around with 6 lbs. of weights and two bins. May I suggest that you examine the level of your food plan for the day. Until the initial 42 days are completed, Beck would have us face each day (including weekends) with a written food plan and to use the NO CHOICE or Oh, Well Responses to stand down anything not on the plan. Without a firm plan, appealing foods on the weekend will seem, well ..., appealing and allow them to slip into our mouth escorted by an "entitled" Sabotaging Thought. Big Kudos for so clearly expressing just what you did. And Kudos for rapidly getting back on track. It would seem that a written food plan would give you just the advantage you need to see your feeling of "entitled" before it grabs you. Good luck - let us know how you do next Saturday.

Readers – "… With the comprehensive, step-by-step program in this book, you’ll be able to stay on your diet, lose weight, and maintain your weight loss for life." Beck, pg 19.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-02-2008, 11:47 AM
Good Morning Out There!

Thanks for the replies to my post of yesterday. Indeed I see that a Saturday afternoon will have to be dealt with more seriously for me.

And today is Sunday. A really really big kudos to me for doing this DVD workout called Ripped. It was generously given to me by a friend as she had two copies. I had never heard of it and the picture on the box looks intimidating and the word Ripped? Well, that's far far away, so I felt like "oh that's not for me that's for someone who's already almost fit/thin/you can see their muscles underneath their skin all over... ie. not me But this morning I woke up feeling crabby and I had carried those gosh darn wieghts with me yesterday and so I put the DVD in and I did it! I did the whole 55 minute workout and not totally like a maniac but moderating when needed. Wow. I don't feel crabby anymore. Kudos for my brain and its fantastic endorphins:dizzy:

maryblu I was put on blood pressure medication about a year ago and for the first few months I used to carry my pills around in my jeans pocket as a real reminder of what my eating has created in my life. I had the whole pill bottle and they would rattle and it really served as a reminder and an undeniable consequence of my eating behaviour. That action really did help to keep me focused on my food plan. I was reminded of that after I wrote about the charm bracelet. I may do both. I may NEED both!

mezmerize In the past I found myself binge eating on any food. For me the particular food is almost beside the point. I seem to trigger a behaviour and it just snowballs. Kudos for recognizing this and posting about it, and thanks for the reminder.

wendylan Yes, we aren't lost causes... far from it! Kudos on swimming so many laps!

coastalsue I am wishing I was going on train trip, though I definitely do not want to see any more snow! How to cope with cravings... for me it's the distraction method and the "get away from the food" strategies. If I see it I want it. Reminding myself I have food coming in x hours or telling myself I can have as much of x as I want tomorrow but just not today (the one day at a time method) will also work. Mostly it's best for me to take care of myself beforehand; don't get too tired, stressed or hungry. Workout, read positive things, write stuff... and I forget this all the time but I try to remember (I need this on a card) that each time I stay strong it makes it easier to face this same situation the next time. All the best to you and have a great time on your trip!

hbuchwald Wow. You have really planned ahead for the week. Love the frozen frittata idea. I think I may do that for myself today for the week.

BillBlueEyes Good job anticipating your restaurant challenges and planning for them. I love to try everything I've never had before so a restaurant can be tough for me in terms of choosing things. I had to laugh at stress eating due to high prices! If you end up running out of there because the bill is too high, or washing dishes to cover the cost, I guess that's unplanned exercise right? haha! Glass half full BillBlueEyes... glass half full.

03-03-2008, 12:24 AM
HI coaches!
Ski slope challenge conquered! AND, a young couple sat right across from me as I was reading my book and set down the warm and HUGE cinnamon roll to eat and enjoy right in front of me. I was fighting salivating.... :) THEN, a group of teens sat at the end of the table with a huge pizza... I happily sipped my coffee and ate some trail mix that I brought adn was fine and dandy.

I did, however, dip into the goldfish crackers and some extra chocolate tonight. This is DIRECTLy related to my trying to piece together a big trip we will go on this summer. I was trying to fit too much into a trip back east. I have a family reunion in Rhode Island, a friend in Vermont and my grandma in Maryland (not going to family reunion)... I was looking into all options for trying to do all three with a young child in tow. NOT reasonable. My priorities are the reunion and my grandma. I REALLy wanted to see my friend and her home, etc.. too but it just cannot happen this time. I was getting seriously creative/stressed out exploring the options. LOTS of driving in rental cars and taking trains... ugh. I was thinking about the stress of the logistics of it all and of course it all costs money. I am DONE with food today and drinking water. I do feel horrible about eating though since I have been feeling sooo good lately. Making my plan for tomorrow and then to bed for me.

Happy week to everyone. Til tomorrow, Heidi

03-03-2008, 06:53 AM
Diet Coaches - Thoroughly enjoyed dinner last night despite bumping up against my ceiling on acceptable eating at a celebration. I had my share of the three appetizers. I sampled all six entrees (love eating with family), and, although I nobly skipped ordering dessert (thanks onebyone for the helpful image of washing dishes to pay for the check), I proceeded to eat half of DW's Baked Alaska (never had it before) and some of DD's fancy pastry (she simple stops when she's had enough - that sorta makes me question paternity here). The closest thing I did to sane was to distribute very generous "tastes" of my Duck Shawarma with Cardamom Braised Leeks (another first for me).

CREDIT moi for a successful family celebration of three birthdays, including the first time DD brought this boyfriend to meet her family. Even though I reached full rather than Beck's goal of mildly full, CREDIT moi for avoiding stuffed and for holding on to feeling responsible despite some eating. So, I have no regrets, no urgency to get back on track - I feel like I'm still on track. I might try to eat a bit lightly over the next several days as this extravagance digests. Oh yes, it was my lifetime high restaurant bill; don't know if I'll ever become acclimated to the notion that it's my lot in life to spend that kind of money on dining, LOL.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for your stellar performance at the ski lodge. Big Kudos for identifying the emotion behind the nibbles last night. Even though it sounds like you need less options for your summer trip rather than more, we can serve as free B&B for you and DD here in Boston if that helped make Vermont possible.

onebyone – Kudos for getting ripped and Kudos for setting your endorphins lose against the crabs, LOL.

Erika (eusebius) – Sending supporting thoughts for your Piano Concerto that is sometime this month.

Readers – “The Beck Diet Solution is based on the principles of Cognitive Therapy (also known as Cognitive Behavior Therapy, or CBT), the most highly researched and effective form of talk therapy in the world. …” Beck, pg 19.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-03-2008, 11:10 AM
Good Morning.

I am on Day 12:Prove you can tolerate hunger and cravings.

Hrmph. Don't want to do this today.:mad: Too late though. I already ate breakfast. No food now until dinner around 5:30 tonight. I have done this before, several times in fact, over the past month and now, when I am required to do it, I am fighting it. Go figure. Guess I don't like to be told what to do. Yeah. Big surprise there. I already had a sabotaging thought. I was eating leftovers for breakfast (planned last night to do this) and a small crumb of stuff was left on the serving plate. I knew I shouldn't eat standing up, but I picked it up with my fingers and shoved it into my mouth telling myself "oh this little bit won't hurt you." LIES LIES LIES. Won't hurt me? Here I am stewing over it. I can't afford the emotional cost of doing that kind of thing, even if the physical cost in terms of pounds gained is minimal.

I spent the weekend avoiding things I needed to do, not all but some. Today I feel scattered. I have photography class this afternoon. We have a live model and we each get 10-15minutes alone wiht the model to pose her and place her anywhere in the school and take her picture. Some of my classmates have scouted out the school for a good place for shots. I haven't but I do have an area in mind. I also have a customer coming to meet me at the school before class to buy a print of mine that was in the student Christmas art show. So that's some well-needed money in my pocket.
I feel rattled by things though. I am so forgetful these days. I think I'd better go make a list and get ready for school.

hbuchwald congrats for getting through the ski trip and staying on plan and good work at stopping your eating and noticing it was stress that you were trying to soothe and not a hungry tummy.

BillBlueEyes Great work dealing with the restaurant and stopping before you are overstuffed. I know that when I am out I often say/think I want "value for my money" and what I really mean is "I want to eat as much as I can get fast because I am paying for it". I often find it hard to be satisfied with "enough". I always want "more".

A good Monday to you all.

03-04-2008, 07:09 AM
Diet Coaches - Dinner last night was my monthly potluck at a meeting for a volunteer activity. For a while now I've had these under control, but yesterday I overate - not stuffed, but beyond mildly full. It felt like a continuation from the celebratory dinner on the previous night. I have to get this under control, since dinner tonight is at a restaurant with a visiting friend.

Thanks onebyone for a clue as to what I was thinking at the expensive restaurant. I'm working on a response. Something like: Sabotaging Thought: "value for my money"
Helpful Response: I can choose to dine at an expensive restaurant for the choices, taste, and pleasure of my guests while I joyfully continue to honor my goals and personal responsibility.Value for my money is simply not a higher goal than personal responsibility - it's useful to acknowledge, however, that it's a short term narcotic hit with very strong appeal.

Not exactly off topic, I try to imagine going on a one week cruise of the sort that is notorious for continuous delicious foods of epic serving sizes. I try to picture a week of joy that includes staying on plan amidst the abundance. It's hard for me to visualize doing it with joy instead of white knuckling, Beck mantra chanting tension. But when I reach my goal of thinking like a thin person, then such a cruise should be an eating joy. Don't think I'm there yet. Has anybody done a cruise (or a resort with prepaid meals) while eating on plan, with joy?

onebyone – Congrats on the print sale! I so appreciate your response to eating the leftover crumb: "I can't afford the emotional cost of doing that kind of thing, even if the physical cost in terms of pounds gained is minimal." I, too, can feel the emotional impact when I LIE to myself over a tiny item. And that emotional impact paves the way for further mindless actions that begin the slippery slope. I continue to dream that I can do the crumbs without repercussions. Maybe, maybe not - but certainly not when I make the effort to tell myself LIES while doing it.

Readers – “… A recent study in Sweden demonstrated the effectiveness of Cognitive Therapy for weight loss. People enrolled in the Cognitive Therapy program lost an average of 18 pounds over 10 weeks of treatment. …” Beck, pg 20.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-04-2008, 09:12 AM
"Decrease Hunger and Cravings Day". Seems like that should be an official holiday on the calendar :chin: hmmmmm...

I got through yesterday, staying even longer without food than planned. I was at a friend's place after class and she usually wants to feed me pizza (not in the plan) but she didn't this time. However, I really felt ravenous sitting on her couch. it would come and go but in all reality I WAS ravenous. I just had coffee and took the bus home. Got takeout on the way and tried to eat like a sane person. I didn't shovel it in but I wasn't too mindful either. And when offered, I ate the rest of DH's food. What can I say? Room for improvement ;)

Today is my most stressful class: drawing. And lo and behold I have actually lost my drawing homework. I moved it when I had to tidy up for the maintenance inspection last week and when I went to find it where I thought I put it last night it wasn't there. Ah well. I can do it again. 20 pages of drawings each representing/evoking a specific feeling. She made the whole class do it over last week as we all used only one pencil (horrors!) and she insisted we fill the page and use a few pencils. Last week I forgot to bring my homework with me. That class unhinges me.

We have March Break next week and it can't come soon enough. I am tired. I'll need a plan though. With the trouble I have on a Saturday a week of Saturdays could be a major challenge. Good thing I'm doing this program! And good thing I have you.

Enjoy your Tuesday.

BillBlueEyesI try to imagine going on a one week cruise of the sort that is notorious for continuous delicious foods of epic serving sizes. I try to picture a week of joy that includes staying on plan amidst the abundance. It's hard for me to visualize doing it with joy instead of white knuckling, Beck mantra chanting tension. But when I reach my goal of thinking like a thin person, then such a cruise should be an eating joy.
This feels so beautiful to me. "eating joy" Honouring abundance comes to mind. how lucky we are to have so many choices. Choosing what is best for our bodies... honouring ourselves with the food we eat. It's all so great. And definitely something to shoot for. Thank you for this visualization. It's very helpful.

03-04-2008, 01:09 PM
hi everyone! finally well enough to type a little - i've been laid low with a fever and a bad cough for the past few days. i've never been this sick so often in my life - is this what they meant when people told me that having a baby would change everything??? i didn't realize how sick i was on saturday when i went for my long run (ended up being a long walk.) 8 miles and 1/2way through i was thinking, this is idiotic, why am i doing this, i'm tired and it sucks, i didn't bring my phone and even if i did if i gave up at mile 5 it's not like DH can drive out here with the kid and carry me the last 3 miles, why on earth would i decide to do such a stupid thing? it was actually a RELIEF to find out i was so sick and that's why it felt so bad. ugh.

trying to get it together enough to take a shower - it's votin' day today here in ohio, and those poor poll workers suffer enough without having to smell my unwashed self. here's to hoping that a shower helps my congestion!

more when i'm feeling better,

03-04-2008, 05:42 PM
Hey everybody! I would like to join your group. i bought the beck book several months ago and started it and then for some reason decided that i was smarter than a woman who went to school for many years and helped hundreds of people loose weight. DDUUHH!!
anyway my name is amy, i am married and have two kids. i need to loose about 80-90 pounds (depending on how generous i am feeling towards myself, some days i tell myself that i need to loose 100).
i used to journal on this site daily but that was some time back. so here i am at it again. i am going to give dr. beck one more try. this has to work this time, i am just getting so danged disappointed in myself for every failure that eventually something will work. so tomorrow will be day one of the beck diet for me. i will come back and post how it is going.

03-05-2008, 01:05 AM
Hi coaches,
I was just too tired to post last night so I went to bed early. I have done 2 dvd dance workouts since I set up the new dvd player in my room-yahoo! DD and I went for a nice walk with doggie this evening too-ran into a friend/neighbor and the kids played and we talked for a spell-nice! Dusting off the bike to get tuned up so I can begin training for my leg of the triathlon. Eating is going fine..I think that the newfound love of dark chocolate may be because I haven’t been eating much chocolate of any kind lately. I also think that now that I am slowing down with my eating and trying to taste my food, that I can appreciate it more. Who knows..

Big kudos to you on the big birthday dinner extravaganza. I love the perspective and need to remember it: that you were still “on plan” after eating near the ceiling –that is LIFE and “the plan” has to include feeling beyond “mildly full” sometimes… it is comments like that that help me shift my mind in a way that I want it to shift-away from being “on a plan” but balancing things out in order to be healthy in all areas of life. Credit to you!

What a nice offer of housing DD and I to be able to see my friend! The stress during planning came when facing the reality that I have a short window of time to get all desired activities in on this trip and the cost of getting from point A to point B (and C and D). My mom lives in Boston too so we have a place to stay there-thanks so much for thinking of it though!

Onebyone: I totally hear you on the not wanting to be told what to do! I also love the way you pointed out the idea of “paying the emotional cost even if the physical cost is low”…. So true…Your anecdotes relating to your classes, losing assignments, etc… remind me of how hard college days were for me with food/health. You named several challenging/stressful situations in the last few posts…I hope that things will calm down a bit for you!

Jean: I have never been as sick as I was when my daughter came along (and I am a public school teacher too!)-I am back now to being generally healthy now though… there are some nasty flus out there. I am glad that you cut yourself some slack on the run when you were so sick!

Amy-welcome to the group! I have gone up and down with my weight and also gotten to that “last frustration” point that I ever wanted to experience with weight. The Beck program is really doing it for me..I hope that it speaks to you as well!

03-05-2008, 05:09 AM
:welcome: Amy (gahundy) :welcome:

Welcome to the Beck Diet Solution Discussion Group, Support Group, Diet Coach Group.

And, in case you didn't receive a proper welcome when you were last around, :wel3fc:

You certainly are welcome to join our group here. Feel free to begin posting immediately - no need tor try to catch up or to figure out who everybody is. We're going through the Program-days slowly, about one or two per week, in addition to whatever discussion about Beck and our own journey comes to mind. Jump right in.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations

03-05-2008, 06:46 AM
Diet Coaches - At the Korean restaurant last night, I chose a hot pot with Udon noodles. Got lots of hot liquid and modest volume of food. CREDIT moi. I did endulge in the shared dessert - red bean ice cream and ginger ice cream. Red bean was a first for me - it was quite good despite the incongruous image of red beans in ice cream. The ginger was good - just as you'd expect. My body is so ready for a few days of eating at home where sweet dessert isn't part of dinner and eating on plan is the way of life.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Just waving - hope your travels thru the Sierras are going well.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for progress in tasting and appreciating your food. Methinks steps like that are the core of how Beck plans that we'll think like thin people.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Ouch for being sick. Kudos for finally recognizing that you're sick; take care of yourself - I recommend the classic chicken soup. It can help you to acknowledge that you need to be taken care of. Mothers of young children are people too.

onebyone – Big Kudos for completing the hunger day exercise. How much discomfort did you feel when you got hungry and how long did it last?

What a wonderful phrase, "Honouring abundance." It makes abundance sound whole and rich rather than opulent and ostentatious.

Amy (gahundy) – LOL at your comment about feeling smarter than the book. I had that same initial reaction to The Beck Diet Solution; it seemed too simple - simplistic even. It wasn't until I actually did the exercises and observed my response to doing them that they made sense to me. Good luck as you begin the journey.

Readers – “… (Meanwhile, people on a waiting list to get into the program didn’t lose any weight.) …” Beck, pg 20.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-05-2008, 12:40 PM
Good Morning Coaches.

It's snowing again. just had to get that out of the way. This winter it goes like this 1) big snow 2) very cold but sunny 3) big snow 4) big thaw/warm-up/rain for a day 5) big snow and/or freezing rain We're in a stage 5 today... big snow. Where's my trusty icon for this...? Oh yes: :fr: That'll do.

Oh wait. I can use :fr: to show you how I am feeling about progressing to Day 15 tomorrow and "officially" starting my diet. I feel like "I can't do it". Why? I think it's because yesterday I was totally disconnected from the Beck program. It's that drawing class. OMG it was so fun though. That was unexpected. AND it was a key class where things from the beginning of the semester that made no sense at all but "you did it anyway cause the teacher said so" came together beautifully. Wow. Even the weakest student in class was on the verge of producing a beautiful accomplished drawing.
SO SATISFYING... and much longer lasting than any food I have ever eaten...

But Beck just went out the window. Well I say that. It's an exaggeration. The reality is: I did not have second helpings. I sat down to eat. I did not eat unconsciously. But I didn't exercise (the biggie I am down on myself for this morning). I didn't read the book before bed. I didn't consciously work on the task given for me for Day 13.

And today I am feeling afraid of tomorrow, the official start to my diet day. I have been following Weight Watchers but not very carefully. Like I am not counting my points. I will have to do that tomorrow.

Okay I just read the page for today and it's addressing all this stuff. I felt like she was going to be harsh and tough. No, that's MY inner voice. I am being hard on myself here... and I really don't want to plan my food. But I will. I need to move forward more than I need to argue with a book about my next step.

kuhljeanie I can relate to not realizing how sick you really are until you are in the middle of doing something. Sorry to read you are so sick with a flu bug. Get some more rest and get well soon

gahundy Welcome to the board! I am new here too, 14 days old to be exact. I've had the book since November and then "lost" it. I found it two weeks ago and decided I needed it. I am tired of self-sabotage. REALLY tired of it. Like you I want to lose 80-100 lbs. Will I? Only if I work for it, and Beck is part of that for me. I wish you a willing spirit and success.

hbuchwald A dancing workout sounds like great fun. And you're getting your bike tuned up? Nice to know there's some Spring weather somewhere in the world! Enjoy it for me.

BillBlueEyes Wow you're at restaurants a lot lately. You're going to be such an expert at dealing with this situation! Kudos on handling the challenge it presents. And to answer your question, my hunger was very strong and insistent like it wouldn't leave me alone for long. I was distracted cause I was with my friend, or on the bus but my body kept directing my attention to my empty stomach. My biggest problem is not that I feel being very hungry, but that feeling very hungry (and acknowledging it)triggers in me a deep feeling of fear and anxiety. The two travel hand in hand for me. These are old old childhood things, so I am taking a deep breath and doing this anyway. Childhood is long gone and I have the tools and more to go forward to lose the weight and deal with life. What else is there to do? Go forward or go back. Things always change.

03-05-2008, 04:36 PM
Hi everyone! still feeling like crap, under the misguided impression that having less of a fever meant that I was well enough to go back to work. I'm leaving early.

onebyone, it occurred to me while I was reading your post that you weren't even CLOSE to disconnected to Beck yesterday. When you talked about your class, you said, "...things from the beginning of the semester that made no sense at all but "you did it anyway cause the teacher said so" came together beautifully. Wow. Even the weakest student in class was on the verge of producing a beautiful accomplished drawing...: - and Amy and Bill both talked about Beck seeming too simple, but doing it anyway. That made me smile. And of course you can start your diet! You'll be brilliant at it! My big concern with Day 15 was that I hadn't done enough crazed bingeing the first two weeks to adequately shore me up for the grueling denial I was about to subject myself to. I actually ate a piece of cake on the evening of day 14 that I really didn't want, since it was the last time I was "allowed" to. Reflecting back on it now - ugh - too much misguided thinking to even know where to start. Like using the word "allowed" as though I'm a little kid who needs to be controlled. And the idea that once I'm on plan, I can't eat anything with sugar, flour, butter - no mistakes allowed. No planned treats. All or nothing. Good or bad. And it'll be this dire, this consuming, forever and ever.

I was listening to my Beck CD every morning on the way to work, and doing the exercise the next day (with a sort of one-day lag.) I got to day 26 or so and just couldn't keep up with it. I tried backing up a few days, but still couldn't find the time to do the exercises, so everything else started slipping too - reading my ARC, etc. I was still eating the same food in the same quantities at the same time, but it didn't "count" because I wasn't writing it all down the day before. So that put me on the wrong side of the law.

About two weeks ago I had a couple of epiphanies. One is that I don't have to do everything perfectly to benefit from it. Another is that I don't have to do it all right this minute. Yes folks, you heard it first - I'm going to back up to some earlier point in the program and do a soft-restart later, like after graduation and marathon, when I can focus on it. I'm not going to be half-a$$ed trying to do too many things at once, and this will wait (unlike my midterms, which are this week whether I feel like it or not.) I can eat well and exercise, and I'm not losing any ground by taking a breather from actively working through Beck. I can just use what I've already learned, what's easy to apply given the circumstances, and cruise for a little bit (9 wks) until I'm ready to re-commit. And being so sick, I've lost my appetite, a bunch of fluids, and some bonus pounds. Yeah, I know it's not healthy weight loss, and it won't stick when my current state of dehydration ends - but I LOVE seeing it on the scale. :p

Ordered my empty charm bracelet yesterday. What a fabulous idea! DH and I had a good time decided what kind of charm I would get to represent him. (Guitar.) Technically I could go ahead and get it now (on the 5's and 0's) but I'll wait until I'm eating normally again and make it permanent.

thanks again for giving me a place to think out loud about these things, and welcome Amy!

Below: Finally figured out how to post cake pictures. These two are my best so far, but I'll need to start thinking about making sugar flowers for that wedding cake soon. Maybe in April? If it gets too much I can always buy them from a supplier, and no one the wiser. Right?

03-05-2008, 05:43 PM
i made it back. so far today all i did was find some motivational quotes and sayings that i can go to for a quick pick me up. i meant to bring my book to work to read at lunch today and in the chaos of it all i left it on the table. oh well.tomorrow is another day.
Thanks to everyone for welcoming me here, i feel like i have made friends already!

Onbyone-i am glad your drawing class was so satisfying for you! i can barely draw a stick man with a smiley face! if you are still a little nervous about the diet, stop and go over the steps you have already done, and come back to the "start the diet" step when you are ready. it's ok if you aren't quite ready yet.

kuhljeanie-your cakes are fab!! i love that sort of thing but am no good at cake decorating, just haven't applied the skills enough to master them i think. anyway, i think you are being very wise about just sticking with the steps you know you can do now anc coming back and regrouping at a better time. i know for me if i get bogged down with too much the diet is the first to go but then i have to deal with the guilt, but i think since you are making the choice to slow down with diet, etc. then there will be no guilt. good luck with your exams and keep cominghere to let us know how it is going.

03-05-2008, 11:08 PM
Greetings and Salutations everyone!

No big challenges today. I ate well and will be hopping on the treadmill or dancing around in my room after DD goes to bed. I am getting compliments in the area of my “eyes being lit up now” and “looking like I have so much energy” and “just looking healthy”! WOW. Tomorrow I am taking DD to my school’s roller skating party. That means that I get to roller skate and my students take turns taking my daughter around the rink-win/win situation! We will get Mexican food beforehand and I will have 2 small chicken soft tacos-I mention it for accountability’s sake. Thanks coaches.

BillBlueEyes: You are quite the adventurous eater-great way to keep food interesting amidst trying to manage calories/nutrients… do you keep track of what you eat or do you just know now how to balance it all out from doing this stuff for so long?

Onebyone: Your drawing class sounds FABULOUS! I love how you sound about it… passionate. Try to think about the things that you DID do well and give yourself credit for those things. I personally fight “black and white thinking”…when I am feeling like I ‘blew it” and then really look at the reality, it is rarely as bad as I made it out to be in my mind. It also takes time to build all of these skills. It will never be PERFECT (I am reminding myself as much as sharing with you) so hopefully you will be able to cut yourself some slack and do your best with what you have right now. This is life…Take it or leave it..  Sometimes it helps me to also think about what used to be… when I really would binge out or just not even care what I ate or how much, etc… I have come so far-it really sounds like you have too!

Jean: Great description of what I was trying to say above about black and white thinking! Gorgeous cakes and so fun that you got a charm bracelet. Smart gameplan to do a soft reboot later.

03-06-2008, 06:38 AM
Diet Coaches - The good news is that I still feel the fullness from the several recent eating out events. So I had smaller portions of both lunch and dinner yesterday. CREDIT moi for working the issue. Also trying to work Beck's notion of avoiding exaggerated thinking here. I can eat more on some occasions and balance with less on others. Every extra bite is not the beginning of the mindless eating where I used cookies, candy, crackers and cheese to pack on my pounds. I need to say this in front of you guys so I can hear it myself:Believe It: I have the tools to get back on track; I can avoid both extremes, mindless and controlling, either of which can lead me astray.Obviously, this is a work in progress to welcome the tension while avoiding the angst.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for another day on plan and congrats for all those compliments. Are you able to believe them?

Concerning your questions of how I track: I journal what I eat every day but I don't calorie count or fitday. I'm still working on my long term technique for knowing that I'm staying at a maintenance level. It's easy to stick to plan when I have full control of my choices, but I still feel the challenge of opening my plan to explore new foods and attend major celebrations. The only thought I have is to track my weekly weight against a "red line" and cut back as needed when I drift upwards - this is, in fact, what I think Beck recommends. I'm long winded here because I'm still looking for the right way to make it work for me. I was really comfortable heavily using NO CHOICE during my losing phase and am searching for the appropriate level of SOME choice on SOME occasions, but NOT SO MUCH as leads to the slippery slope. LOL at my long winded reply getting to the point - no, I don't "just know now how to balance it all out". Would welcome any thoughts you have on staying the course.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Kudos for ordering your charm bracelet and Big Kudos for making a decision about delaying reading new Beck Program-days until you have sufficient time. Keeping yourself sane is certainly goal one and you seem to be acting wisely in respecting yourself.

Thanks for the discussion about "allowed" and being constrained by hard rules. It's useful for me to be reminded that I have no choice but to accept responsibility that my eating satisfies my long term goals to remain responsible even if it costs my short term goal of sticking to a tight plan. Most things in my life that are real are in a constant tension between conflicting goals; if I try to make my eating different than that, I expose myself to implosion.

onebyone – Sending warm support as you start the dieting part of your Beck journey. As Jean (kuhljeanie) so wisely noted, you've demonstrated your skill at moving forward on faith and reaping the rewards. You really have the right attitude with "I need to move forward more than I need to argue."

Thanks for answering; hunger is larger for you than just the discomfort that Beck's exercise is designed to show us is lower than we had been thinking. Seems like it is wise for you to be rigorous in keeping up with your meal and snack schedule to avoid having to deal with the artifacts of hunger. It's good reason to remember that your WW plan, as I understand it, has minimum points as well as maximum. Again, good luck starting that portion of your journey today.

Amy (gahundy) – Neat that you've already found quotes "for a quick pick me up." Were you already on a diet plan when you found Beck?

Readers – “… But here’s the truly impressive part: When the researchers re-evaluated study participants a year and a half after treatment, their average weight had continued to drop whereas the average weight of the people on the waiting list had increased. This is what sets Cognitive Therapy apart from other types of therapy and other types of weight-loss programs. …” Beck, pg 20.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-06-2008, 10:24 AM
Hello Coaches

I have officially started my diet plan, weight watchers points.
I weighed in at 257.8 this morning.
I chose this as I am familiar with it, it's sane and I can choose pretty much anything I want to eat, just have to be accountable. Plus I get rewarded for exercising and that's good incentive for one such as I. It seems exactly in line with Beck's suggestions to me, and I feel a desire to do it. I am committing to this plan and if I feel it isn't right at some point, before chucking it aside I will come here and discuss it, and make another plan.
Kudos me for knowing I have choices.

I followed the book and wrote out a diet food plan for today last night. I flipped through the book looking to see if we were really required to do this the night before, even counting the pages of daily food plans vs. days in the book and yep, you definitely do it the day before. I didn't want to do it but did it anyway and this morning I was glad I did.
Imagine that. No one's more surprised than I am. It's taken the worry out of today.:D I opened to the food page and just followed orders. And as I weighed and measured things I looked at the actual amount that I had accounted for and it's more than I normally give myself. I was reminded that I often find an irony in that. In the past when I weighed and measured I often found my plate to be carrying more food not less. I have a lot to learn.

kuhljeanie I was bidding on a charm bracelet on ebay and lost. I may get the chain and make my own bracelet. Your cake pictures remind me of an artisan who sells at the farmers' market where I sell my work. She's a cake artist and her work is fantastic. Before she started at the market she did art and craft fairs. She would create a cardboard form that she would wear and she would stand inside it and decorate the cardboard with colourful butter cream icing during the course of the art show. Performance art. Delish!

gahundy Happy to see you back! Enjoy your day today and let us know how you are doing.

hbuchwald I was feeling mopey last night and popped a 1 mi WATP workout dvd into the player and after it was done I was no longer blue. I forget how powerful exercise is. I still lean towards the "oh it's gonna be hard and make me sore and tire me out" which was all true when I first came back to exercise and lasted a good 4 days, but that's not the case anymore. My body is so thrilled to be moving and I know I am only helping my heart and lungs get stronger and my butt's getting shaplier by the workout:o (where is the beautiful booty smilie anyway?)

BillBlueEyes welcome the tension while avoiding the angst In my family, a family of very creative folk and very intense personalities, we have a term for this very thing "creative tension". It's the state of being inbetween, searching and not being so afraid, paralyzed, or angsty that you break the flow, you stop yourself or you give up. Making things necessitates fallow periods. You have to believe these times are as productive as when you have things to show someone. And sometimes you are the only one who believes you... and that sometimes has to be enough.
So why mention this? It's a way of looking at a life as a whole that is experienced over time. Taking the longview. While indeed we live our lives only "one day at a time" we continue to make plans and look forward, or back. We didn't come to this day in a vacuum of time and space. The trick is not to be overly controlled by future events or the past, but to be present in our life right now and make choices that are as best as we can for ourselves right now. Do the next right thing you know? And food, and food plans, and eating out and everything is right in the mix. It's one of those paradoxes of truth: do the right thing today and tomorrow takes care of itself. Or something like that (I often mangle quotes). I am going on at length on this as it is something I need to reinforce to myself. I am building my future success by using Beck daily. It's a long term plan focusing on daily acts. :chin: hmmm. Heavy man. Heavy.

03-06-2008, 12:45 PM
well i remembered to bring my book to work today, i tried reading it last night but ds insisted that i "put that book down". he misses me all day and thinks that i should be giving him my undivided attention once we get home.
i am going to decorate my "success can" this afternoon and then i will be ready to go!
so far my day has been good, no drama and no junk so that's a plus in my book.

billie-when i first got the beck book i was already on the carb addicts plan, but it didn't seem to really fit me so i stopped following the plan. i am on my own plan now. i know how and what to eat to fuel my body and stay healthy, i just have to make myself do it!

onebyone-i would write down my meal plans for the next day before i read Beck and it always worked better for me that writing it down as i go. i like to plan ahead. i hope this technique works for you, let us know!

hope to hear how everybody else is doing today!

03-06-2008, 04:07 PM
Hello everyone,I am still here although very busy.I start my working 4 days a week instead of five so I am off Thur and Fri this week.I am over the flu but still tired,I got the kids off to school and went bach to bed instead of to my ww meeting.Slept till 1pn,guess I needed it.My eating has been up and down,had 5 good days and then gave in to these stupid candy bars my son is still selling.Also got frustrated at work,the usually supportive coworkers said they are not on ww and are sick of not ordering out ,eating snacks ect...They have started bringing junk food again and ordering pizza stromboli on a regular basis.It bothered me but I resisted at work.At home however I became resentful and started feeling sorry for myself and ordered pizza and ate candy[alot of it,not just a piece].Sometimes I feel like I just can't do it anymore like something is just wrong with me,maybe an eating disorder.I hate to keep posting and saying the same things over and over,like I do well and then I just do awful and I can't seem to stop.My weight ends up going down and then right back up.I am not getting anywhere and I spend alot of money in the process.Buy all healthy stuff,fill the frig,get moody go buy take out and junk food,buy all healthy stuff,eat the kids snacks and on and on.Feel like just giving up and I don't want to keep posting the same thing over and over.

03-07-2008, 01:42 AM
Hi coaches,

We just got back from the roller skating extravaganza. We had a great time and I got some exercise in and saw lots of my students there. Fun times! I feel a cold coming on and will be going to sleep right after I post this. Nothing earth shattering to report. I contacted the swimmer in our triathlon group to see if she wanted to take our kids to public swim while we swim laps..we are going to do that tomorrow night! AND her brother is going to tune my bike up and pimp it out with some street tires (I have a mountain bike) and whatever else I need. I reminded him that I am not in this to WIN but to finish and I truly don’t care if I have mountain bike tires or not..he is a bike guy and so wants to set me up with all this stuff. NICE! So the training begins…

BillBlueEyes: Great description of your maintenance gameplan. I didn’t mean to sound flip when I asked if you just knew what to do suddenly after losing all of your weight! I am far from being in a position to offer advice on the topic.. still figuring it all out for weight loss. I enjoy hearing your process-I am making note for when I hit maintenance!

Onebyone: I am glad that you have a plan that you are excited about that feels right! I really enjoyed reading your explanation of living in the moment…

Gahundy: What is the success can? I must have missed that post somehow???? I am interested!

Wendylan: I am so sorry that you are having a hard time of this right now. Please don’t apologize for posting the same thing more than once…kudos to you for posting-period! Sometimes it helps to read those reasons you want to lose weight… I even brought my cards out and actually did tape them up around my house-the ones that I refer to a lot. It really helps me to have those ideas in my head. It also helps me to record what I ate even if I totally binged out…it feels cleansing somehow and for some reason, sometimes makes it easier to plan the next day’s food. I know how hard it is, believe me. I also know the power of Beck’s strategies have worked for me in so many situations like that. I hope that you can be gentle with yourself as you continue to recover from being sick… all this stuff takes a lot of energy and you have less when you are sick and have kids, etc… (like you don’t know these things..right?). Hang in there….

03-07-2008, 07:26 AM
Diet Coaches - Just another day on plan. CREDIT moi. Lunch was a particularly tasty chickpea stew over couscous (leftovers from dinner). It's a gift of my new journey that I find a simple chickpea with tomatoes stew so tasty. Previously, I would only have noted the obvious lack of a large serving of meat.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Waving as you arrive home.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for really moving forward on your triathlon. What a motivator to have a tuned up pimped up bike. Are you doing swimming AND biking or just biking? And Kudos for the skating exercise. Do all the kids use inline skates at the rink?

wendy (wendylan) - Glad you're licking the flu and taking care of yourself. It's tough to do anything with the flu bug. Ouch for losing support at work, but it's not unusual for other people to go about their normal eating habits. We have to learn to follow our written food plans even when surrounded by food, and, much harder, surrounded by friends eating that food. Some people report that it's easier to stay on track with NO CHOICE when they have a written plan. Keep the faith, you're winning because you're staying in the game.

onebyone – So, let the journey begin. Bon Voyage! I do so identify with the reluctance to roboticaly follow instructions, per your check to see if "really required to do this," LOL. Just love your definition of "creative tension." What a powerful description of the way to lead a fulfilling life. Thanks.

Amy (gahundy) – Great that you have a plan already in place. If you haven't written it down, you might find it useful to do so. I resisted writing down my plan since I had it so clearly in my own head, but, when I did write it down, I found it very useful to articulate my plan for restaurants, eating with friends, and special occasions such as big family events and weddings. Another person who doesn't understand "success can."

Readers – “… Compare this result with people who diet but don’t receive Cognitive Therapy treatment. Research completed at Tufts University found that between 50 to 70 percent of people who started one of four widely used diets were unable to stay on their diets and continue to lose weight for a year. …” Beck, pg 20.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-07-2008, 09:49 AM
billie and heidi (and anyone else who may have missed it)
The Success Can: i found a quote that i just loved that said "success comes in cans, not in cannots" well being the goofy person that i am, i decided to take the first part of that quote literally ...Success comes in Cans. so i decorated a can and filled it with slips of papers that have motivationl quotes on them. some are just little short bits and some are longer, but the general idea is to keep it on hand so that when i have a hard time remembering my goals and keeping the faith i can go to my "success can" and find my motivation again.

03-07-2008, 11:55 AM
hi y'all,

just a quick shout out. mostly i wanted to say hey to wendy, because i'm getting over the flu myself and i know exactly how you're feeling! sometimes i win the battle and sometimes i lose. sometimes it feels like i've been banging my head against the same issues for DECADES and i haven't made much in the way of progress at all. but it's just not true! right now you feel frustrated and tired and crappy, and it's real. but it's also temporary. are you getting judgemental with yourself instead of being gentle? you're still sick and having a tough time. if you just let yourself ride it out, it'll get better. i promise. :) we're all here for you when it's good, and when it's bad too.

i have triumphed over midterms! officially over. i'm still sick too, and i haven't exercised since last saturday. i'm too tired to miss is but i'm feeling a kind of guilt that's not actual guilt (guilt-light?) for resting. marathon is a week closer and i'm not a week readier, but i know i need to let my body recover from flu, and training right now is the wrong thing to do. maybe i'll try some running websites today to see what they say about skipping a week or two if you get sick - can i make it up or is this going to negatively affect my race?

happy to hear that y'all liked the cake pictures! i've still got a lot of learning and practicing to do, but maybe i've moved beyond basic beginner stuff. (yay!)

nice one with the can, amy! that's great. and kudos bill on such a huge acheivement - appreciating the great food right in front of you rather than noticing what you don't have. i'm having an awareness that this is connected somehow to enjoying the bite that's in my mouth rather than thinking about getting the next piece on my fork.

have a really wonderful weekend, everyone!

03-07-2008, 12:05 PM
Hello Coaches: I followed Beck Day 15 to a T. Credit moi. Today is day 16 "No Choice". I already used that very phrase this morning as I tried to negotiate with myself to change my foodplan for today that I wrote last night. I didn't change it. I had no choice but to say no. I suspect this will come in handy over the next month or so. I haven't filled in my daily schedule yet and it's already almost 11 so I am off to do that, and to get ready for painting class. I love painting class.

gahundy The success can! I just finished off a giant coffee can and I have been reluctant to just throw it away. It will now become my success can! THANK YOU SO MUCH for this idea!

wendylan Sorry you are running into difficulties with coworkers and being sick and being tired. To my eyes, you obviously want to succeed. You keep trying. This is a good thing. Write down your roadblocks and write down the ways you plan to handle them next time. You have great tools with Beck. Find what will work for you use them. And if you are sick and tired you are in no position to judge yourself and how you're doing cause you're sick and tired! The fine points of anything are elusive you when you feel fuzzy around the edges! Be kind to yourself. Of course you can do this. We're here to help. It takes as long as it takes.:hug:

hbuchwald Wow you're doing a triathalon? Now there's a secret dream of mine. Kudos to you for having the drive and determination to do that!

BillBlueEyes Congrats on staying on plan. I made a cauliflower soup two days ago and I am having some for lunch today. Previous to weighing and measuring that soup would have been gone the first night. It feels weird to have leftovers in my fridge.

kuhljeanie The idea of being focused on the food in your mouth and not the next one on your fork is really a key one for me. I discovered it's really hard for me to do. Thanks for mentioning it. BTW what are you studying??Congrats on getting through midterms! Mine are overwith too. Such a relief.

All the best to everyone. Enjoy your day.

03-07-2008, 09:42 PM
Dear Beckies,

*sigh..I miss you....still with you in spirit, but barely keeping up with the posts.

Still frozen here in Northland. Woke up this morning to 20 below. March 6, and we are still in the deep freeze. But, hey, no wind.... I went out and started cars in my night gown. Our blood gets pretty thick this time of the year...:D:D

Here is some edification for our charm bracelet idea.....from Newsweek this week...Belief Watch.......Will Bowen, pastor of a church in Kansas City, MO, gives out purple bracelets that say "SPIRIT" wear it on one wrist, and when you catch yourself and stop a behavior you don't want, you move it to the other. The article goes on to talk about CBT and "thought stopping". Sound familiar??

I tell you, we are ONTO SOMETHING! I see it in all your posts, the "ah ha" moments. Kudos, all.

03-07-2008, 09:49 PM
Hello all

Welcome to gahundy-Liked your success comes in cans ideas.

You all wrote about such important issues for changes our eating habits really enjoyed reading them and sharing so many of the same issues. I am just going to jump in with some of my responses to our short vacation. Did come back with a small gain but not worried as plan to get that stuff off quickly. In spite of the gain I have made some good changes so I am giving myself credit plus it give me much hope that I expect to continue losing and will maintain the loss permanently. Here are the factors that are helping me the most.
1. Eating quality food-a lot of stuff is bland low quality processed food in the restaurants -best meal was in a small organic restaurant-yummy and low cal.
2. Eating slowly and paying attention to taste, texture and I how feel eating it. Most time craving for me came from sweet/starchy yet bland unhealthy foods- a sense of not being satisfied-lots of cheap ice cream not as good as a small bit of super dark chocolate.
3 Forgive myself when I did blow it and think about at least one step I can do next time.
4.When wanting to eat something- 1. Check if hungry-usually not. 2. What am I feeling? Usually coping with some uncomfortable moods 3. Great quote learned here- How can any food help that problem. 4. Work on solving the mood without food.
5. Allowing myself some controlled treats during the past and during the trip really helped me not to go over board feeling it is now or never. (learned that here from Heidi)
6. I can feel my body wanting a more healthy lifestyle-missed swimming, fresh greens, stomach dislikes being stuffed. Brain now goes “why the heck did you do” that versus “You must eat more at any bodily cost or you go crazy with cravings. My brain is learning to listen to my body.-Hugh step for me.

By reading Beck, doing the exercises and posting here-I have slowly made food changes. I think it is unfair that Beck creates an illusion that a mire 6 weeks plan can completely retrain your brain thin. It has taken me a lot of practice to learn to cope with my emotions which overeating masks. It has also taken a long time of eating healthy to learn how good my body can feel when eating right-too much alcohol, salt, fats, sugar, volume make me feel icky -Hugh change-But that is the feeling which makes these changes permanent. BillBlueEyes you can go on a food cruise and stay healthy out of choice not willpower. Along with your mind you have been programming your body to be healthy and it will let you know to stop.

Big HI to all


03-07-2008, 11:07 PM
Thank you everyone for the support I do appreciate all of it!
i am back to work for Sat and have a good lunch packed.Picked up some sale produce,strawberries,grapes,grape tomatoes,cucumbers and have them all packed along with a slice of healthy bananna bread I baked earlier.Not doing great with the food but I am trying.I do believe perhaps I am being a bit hard on myself.Also I am not sure that I will sign up for another session of ww after it ends in 7 weeks.It seems to get me all stressed out,maybe because it is at work.I keep thinking about the weigh in for days ahead and get upset because I am fallling behind others in the weight loss and I seemed to be eating alot around weigh in day.Then on weigh in day I try to not eat or drink until the meeting but then I overeat after.I will judge for the next 7 weeks but I don't think it is helping me like I thought it would. I do want to be accountable but I feel like I am adding undo pressure on myself.I am also flip flopping between flex and core and can't seem to get that right either.Flex points seem to make me focus too much on food all day and I get nervous I am going to run out and I felt hungry all the time.Core is more restrictive in choices but lets you eat until full and not count so much.Core is difficult when eating out but I am not hungry on it but crave some sweets at times. I myself would probably use a blend of flex and core if I was not attending meetings ect...Thanks for listening.wendy

03-08-2008, 02:33 AM
Hello coaches:
Today I was in Trader Joes and hungry and ate a whole bag of TJs brand of Pirates Booty. It was good but way too much. I got into that mindset of “if I am blowing it anyway…”… and had some potato chips and some chocolate. Then I stopped. I logged it all and still the calories weren’t as much as I thought they would be-amazing. Even amidst my feeding frenzy I was going so fast but still saying what I wanted to respond with to myself (I will regret this…I deserve to take good care of myself,e tc..) but ignoring it or talking back to myself (stubborn teenage girlish)…. Ideas for next time I am tempted: 1. don’t go shopping when hungry 2. WAIT a few minutes…3. Stop and think (like Sue did)…am I hungry? If not, what am I feeling? Is food the solution to this problem?

BillBlueEyes: I feel the same way about appreciating lots of the food I am eating versus realizing what is missing. WONDERFUL! I am just biking but we are “cross training” as a support to each other and to get into better shape, etc.. and for FUN. We swam tonight.. boy, CoastalSue-I have never been a lap swimmer so really had no baseline to what I would be able to do the first time doing laps. We figured out that my friend will need to build up to doing 32 times across the pool (25 yards) to make the ½ mile that she will need to do for the triathlon. We did 10 times across and had enough. Now, I could do the breast stroke till the cows come home, I was doing the crawl and was TIRED by the end of 10 times. I felt GREAT exercising my whole body though. The kids had fun too and want to do this every Friday night! I have major appreciation for Sue’s 45-60 minute swims so many times per week! I love having the quotes from the book at the end of your messages Bill-great reminders of good nuggets from the book-thanks!

Gahundy: ooooooh… now I get the success can concept! What a fun idea-where do you get your quotes?

Kuhljeanie: I like looking at the slowing down while eating concept in terms of appreciating the bite I have in my mouth.

Onebyone: you go girl-you are on a roll! I am doing a triathlon but with two friends as a relay team. It is a sprint triathlon so is shorter than a typical one. I am doing the biking part which is 12 miles. It is a great way for me to do this and not be totally freaked out/overwhelmed. If I am up to it, I may do the whole thing next year. We will see how this year goes first of course!

Maryblu: HI!!! That bracelet thing is great-there was a guy awhile ago from a church that was handing “complaint bracelets” to encourage people to be more positive. He wanted people to switch the bracelet to the other side if they complained about something. Same concept… wow-only 20 below? Bikini weather huh? That is beyond cold… amazing that cars even run in that cold of weather. Good to hear from you whenever you can post. Take good care.

Coastalsue: WOW! You took Beck on the road and are sounding so healthy. I am having the same realization that the quality of the food matters in the area of feeling satisfied. I have always felt deprived when limiting my food intake in the past. I really do look forward to most food that I eat now which is huge. Yeah-6 weeks is not enough… I really think that many of the steps should be allotted more than one day. We are changing lifelong habits and thinking patterns which doesn’t happen overnight. Big kudos to you on all of the great things you are doing to get past that emotional eating. I need to keep that quote about food not being able to solve the problem if the problem isn’t hunger int eh forefront of my mind… You took the time to REALLy process when you wanted to eat. I am inspired by you!

Wendylan: Are your two chosen plans the WW flex and core plans? If you were to have a third backup choice, what would it be? That weigh in stuff and the stress you are going through at work because of it sounds horrible. Accountability is wonderful but if it means torturing yourself…not worth it! Can you somehow reframe the WW plan at work in your mind so that you don’t invest a lot in comparing your process to others’? I always like it when BillBlueEyes says, “my body, my process” (or something similar to that…)… Do your colleagues compare food/weight/obstacles, etc..? It does sound like you are lightening up a bit on yourself-that is good. This stuff really does take a lot of time and it will never be a perfect road (bummer huh?).

Til tomorrow, Heidi

03-08-2008, 07:19 AM
Diet Coaches - Added squats to my gym routines yesterday, finally admitting that I've been avoiding them due to weak muscles not due to protecting my knees. CREDIT moi. Tried something new last night. DW served macaroni and cheese - comfort food night. I had a small serving just so I could go back and have seconds. There's a special double comfort in that second helping that I had been missing. It worked, I felt all the extra comfort. CREDIT moi. (Ignoring the inconvenient question of whether food is for my comfort instead of my health.)

[Looking for someone to start the discussion for Program-day 14, Plan for Tomorrow]

Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for returning from a vacation so upbeat and full of good ideas. Great to have you back. Have read your thoughts three times, they are such a good reminder of the key issues. I particularly like, "you can go on a food cruise and stay healthy out of choice not willpower," to put it all into a single perspective. But of course, we're learning to make choices, not learning to clench our teeth to willpower ourselves to the healthy lifestyle. You're right that 6 weeks seems a bit optimistic for the changes we're attempting, at least it is for me.

MaryBlu - WOW, CBT in Newsweek - have we been discovered or what! Sending warm thoughts to you starting your cars in your nightgown in negative 20 degrees. LOL, so unable to visualize the nightgown section of Victoria's Secret in Minnesota.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Minor Ouch for minor eating diversion at Trader Jo's. Big Kudos for conducting the full fledged wrestling match twixt Sabotaging Thoughts and Helpful Responses - a great example of how Beck works in real life. Sometimes it works immediately, somethings the impact is delayed a bit. And Big Kudos for the terse lessons learned after it was all over. Particularly liked, "1. Don’t go shopping when hungry." I shop like a maniac when I hit the store hungry. It does take a bit of planning ahead because sometimes I hit the store hungry because that's why I had to go to the store in the first place. Oh Well.

wendy (wendylan) - Kudos for mushing forward with Saturday's lunch all packed - using produce that was on SALE even. What more is needed for happiness. You're doing great by going forward. It does seem useful to use something like my body, my process (thanks Heidi) to ward off the neggies around the WW weigh ins. Perhaps you can find a version of I'm a paying customer here; I deserve to allow myself to have a positive experience. And Kudos for continuing to post when it's feeling tough.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Congrats for triumphing over midterms. Ouch that you're still under the flu. Add me to the admirers of your cakes - I really didn't know that mortal people did fondant. I've stolen your comment for my Response Cards, "enjoying the bite that's in my mouth rather than thinking about getting the next piece on my fork." Says it better than I've heard it before. Thanks for that.

onebyone – Kudos for using NO CHOICE to stick to your food plan. You've got me thinking about why Beck is so adamant on writing our plan a day ahead. Perhaps she's working to help us separate our emotional thoughts about food from our selection of what to eat. Reading your comments helps me to realize that I don't have an unemotional notion of selecting food. The thought of a dietitian planning a month's menu is alien to me - how could one know what they wanted to eat a month in advance. Methinks that I still have room to work here.

Amy (gahundy) – Neat! You have invented putting your Advantages Response Card item-by-item into a Success Can for "remembering my goals and keeping the faith." What a fun way to do it.

Readers – “… Even more discouraging, other studies that track how people fare after they lose weight reveal a sobering trend: Most people who lose weight on any given diet regain most of the lost weight within a year.” Beck, pg 20.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-08-2008, 09:32 AM
Hi all,

I've poked in over the past week, but haven't posted. I'm at day 20....very hard to believe...and going strong.....

My food has been squeeky clean...the biggest slip-up was picking at roasted vegetables from the serving plate, when my plate of food was gone, and we were sitting aroung the dinner table. Really....that's it for unplanned!!! Mostly it hasn't been a struggle at all. Exercise is good too. Six days each of the last two weeks, and every day this week of either Curves or 20-30 minutes on the treadmill. Today is my 5 minute day (I like the idea of just a little planned exercise even on a day off).

I'm reading the chapter daily, referring to my advantages and some responses. Though I tend to do it more in my head than referring to the cards. I do look at the full advantage list...since it's more nuanced...but I also have a short version mantra, which I use many times a day. It's "For my health, for my appearance, for my self-esteem"

My diet coach seems to have fallen off the path. She was out of town last weekend and has had a hard time getting back. But, one of my south beach board buddies got the book and is very enthused about it....and we're doing a daily check-in in each other's journals...I consider her one of my diet coaches, but haven't officially asked.

I have one practice that I wanted to check out with you guys to see what you think. I do not plan my food in the evening, for the next day. But, I do plan and write it down in the morning, before I eat anything. On weekdays, I pack up my breakfast food, morning snack, and lunch food (often except salad, which I get at the work salad bar). At that time, I also decide what I'm having for afternoon snack, dinner, and evening snack, and I write the day down in my journal. For me, that works very naturally and comfortably. Do you think I should keep doing what I'm doing, or deal with the resistence I have to doing it the night before?

ON the health front, I went to the cardiologist this week, and the news was pretty good. My A Fibb isn't bad enough to need to go on coumadin(yeah), and the echocardiogram looked good (HUGE major heart damage). I do have a new prescription, a stress echocardiogram and follow-up visit scheduled....and a big incentive to lose weight and exercise...

Thanks for listening. I know it would be good for me to be more active here....there's a lot of wisdom, strength, and support here....

03-08-2008, 09:47 AM
Hello Coaches Okay. Credit to me for finding my Beck workbook two weeks ago, picking it up, reading it, finding you guys, and doing it. I officially weigh in on Saturdays and this morning the scale was down 3.6lbs. I am thrilled.

Big credit to moi for doing my 1 mi WATP workout last night after dinner. I was exhausted but hadn't done my official workout yet. Also credit moi for modifying my plan to suit my exhaustion level. I had planned 2mi but after the day I was too tired. usually that means I'd do nothing but I had NO CHOICE about whether I'd exercise or not, so I opted for the shorter version instead of nothing at all.

I've been looking at my foodplan and I need to add in more veggies. I will try to focus on that this coming week.

And today is Saturday, my tough day. I think that since I have lost 5 lbs, I will go out and buy myself an empty charm bracelet (if I can find one I can afford that is!) I need to keep myself happy and busy today. I always want to "celebrate" on Saturdays and this means more and varied food. Not today.

maryblu CBT is powerful stuff. I used to suffer from panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I helped myself get over it with CBT. If it could face down that level of fear I know it can work with this. It's such a practical form of therapy and we can do it whenever we need to. What we learn will stay with us for life. Good stuff.

coastalsue I know what you mean about the body wanting healthy food once it gets it. I too have had that experience and most times I've made that feeling go away... choosing unhealthy food usually cause it feels more "fun". I can't really explain it... I just feel like good healthy food is "boring" and unhealthy "fun and exciting". I'm gonna have to get my kicks other ways methinks! Or spice up the good stuff maybe?

wendylan I sent you a private message.. hope you got it! There are definitely ways to work WW so that it does work for you. All the best to you today at work!

hbuchwald Grocery stores to me are like liquor stores to alcoholics. I LOVE them. When DH and I travel I always want to check out the local grocery store and see what they have that we don't. Going there when I am hungry is so so hard. I am so influenced by my eyes and when I am hungry my brain is off. It's like my eyes are directly attached to my mouth and I want to eat everything I see... and the shinier the bag, the quicker the eats... that's what I want. I never crave cutting up broccoli and steaming it. Never. It's good to find out what our limits are and to plan for them. Next time it'll be better. Credit Vous for working on your plan to deal with this for next time!

BillBlueEyes I think it is normal to feel comforted by food. It is not wise to use food to comfort feelings/emotions. Feelings need to be expressed not buried under a pile of food. Choosing what we love to eat when we are hungry? Why not? Why can't we take pleasure in food? We can. And the way you handled it was brilliant. You knew you wanted second helpings so you planned for it. It was far from mindless eating. Kudos.

barbpos It sounds like what you are doing is working for you. I haven't been around long enough to know whether it's critical that you write your food plan down the day before. My inclination is to say it's okay your way so long as you write it down and stay accountable and honest. If you run into problems down the road change it up then. I don't know. For me I have chosen to try it her way. I am so very resistant to that level of planning that I want to do to it to see why I am. I find it comforting in the morning to know I've got my day planned already... but some days I will leave it open for sure. Great health news for you! Kudos.

:coffee: first 5lbs off... aaaahhhhhhh...

03-08-2008, 03:28 PM
Hello everyone. I find myself reading and rereading what is wrote. I'm having a bit of trouble staying fouced with these meds. I did manage to do 1 mile WATP express. I just walked no facy moves for me. I did feel it but pushed though and I wanted to one more mile after but stopped and cleaned house. I been pretty much bed ridden since my operation. Walking only a tiny bit. The meds make me very dizzy. So I cut it down to 1/2 tablet today and am able to fuction with medium discomfort. I've manage to say no to some "feel good" food my husband offered me. If it wasn't for beck I'm sure I would have wolfed them down. So even 1/2 dazed I was able to say no thanks. I've not been able to read the book once again a focus problem.

03-08-2008, 03:48 PM
Here's Some Pictures of my areo Garden28600

03-08-2008, 03:55 PM
that is my salad green mix. Here's one of my herbs.28601

03-08-2008, 03:57 PM
Here's another one it's closeup of my salad. I'd say I'm ready for a sm28602all salad.

03-08-2008, 04:00 PM
The pic of the herbs were after I had cut alot off. Me being me didn't think to take a pic til after. I'm sure you got an idea what it's like.

03-08-2008, 05:10 PM
Hi coaches:
Things are fine here today so far. I am going to pump up the tires on my bike and hopefully take a ride if I can work out childcare and the tires don’t have holes or anything (I am assuming that they are flat due to sitting for so long in the garage…).

Yes, why plan what we eat ahead? I cannot imagine planning more than a day ahead of time either…even planning a day before, it is hard to know what I will WANT to eat. I do sometimes make a switch on the is a goal of mine to become good at that since that is life: balancing what I feel like eating with what my body needs to be nourished.

Barpos: Wow-squeaky clean is right! Kudos to you on your hard work! I would vote that you continue to plan your food in the morning when it feels natural and doable to do. Congrats on the good news at the cardiologist appt!

Onebyone: Big kudos for still exercising even though you didn’t feel like it! I love what you said about BillBlueEyes planning to have 2 servings being mindful.

Mesmerize: I cannot believe that you exercised when you are supposed to be bedridden to heal up! Take it easy.. I trust that you wouldn’t do anything that would compromise your recovery…. Those aerogardens are sooo cool. DD and I got some little greenhouse starter kits and are planting seeds this weekend to transfer outside in the Springtime… FUN!

03-08-2008, 11:38 PM
My dear coaches,

I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately, but the fact is, I'm stuck. Stuck on Day 12 - Practice Hunger Tolerance. It's a very long, complicated, whiney story, but it boils down to FEAR. As a binge eater, and someone who spent many years starving herself and now has to live with a very low starvation set point (where my metabolism slows down), just thinking about skipping a meal ON PURPOSE really fills me with anxiety. I mean, it's taken me years to get to the point where I EAT all of my meals, and try NEVER to be hungry in order to avoid binge eating.

I understand the purpose of the lesson, and I know it's important (Day 11 was really helpful, actually, since I've never learned to trust my body's signals when it comes to food.) What do you think I should do? I know intellectually that it's just ONE meal, it won't hurt me, and may even help in the long run. But is it worth this intense anxiety? Should I just move on to the next lesson?

Hope one of you vets can give me some guidance here. :)

03-09-2008, 12:20 AM
Hi Everyone,

Just a short note as now have a cold and throat feels awful. Really miss swimming-

Hafowler-my 2 cents is skip that exercise until you feel more comfortable doing it-so much good stuff to work on that not doing one of the step until later if at all is ok. I been working on Beck approach for months and still repeat stuff. I certainly have not learn to thinking like a thin person in 6 weeks but am a heck of alot better after over 6 months of practice. But still have a long way to go to gain more consistant success. hang in there and work on mastering a different step.

Heidi-you are doing so well-food plans, exercising and raising DD and teaching and losing weight. You go.

Barbpos- Keep with what is successful for you! Sound like you are doing great. I think the long term goal is to stop implusive poor choice eating which you have done,- On the planning ahead I find that I have a rough outline for the week in order to get the shopping done-I do to have basic calorie plan for each meal and have about 3-4 options in that calorie count that I can mix around the if the plan seems dull to me. I have a much greater sense of portions and calorie count that a year ago and better able to more flexable than before. One of my favorite treats is those frozen small low cal meals(under 300) which I'll get on sale and use when my planned lunch is unappealing. I always record the total calories to make sure I don't go over my total for the day.

mezmerize-Rest, Rest Rest- Pics are great. One of my favorite haunts is Big Lots-hope they make it there for a good price. The gardens looked great.

onebyone-What a great weight loss-it feel so good to see those scale go down! Veggies will get easier once spring comes and things are fresh and look so good.

Billblueyes-ouch squats! I haven't been able to such things for years-So glad you can do them. I think just plain enjoying comfort food is great- it is when used to cope with life problems that creates more problems.

Just watched Babette's Feast (from 1987) what a great gentle film -delightful watching people dealing with guilt about enjoying food too much and how they resolve it.


03-09-2008, 07:58 AM
Diet Coaches - At a buffet yesterday, I chose exactly one entree out of the four available. My usual style would have been to "sample" several, if not all, where the total volume of the samples would well exceed a sane single serving. CREDIT moi. It feels good to consciously use a Beck strategy and to feel like I've made a choice rather than a denial.

Thanks for the several responses making the key distinction between enjoying the comfort of food vs. seeking out the comfort of food to avoid feelings - a useful thought for me.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Ouch for your sore throat, cold, and swimminglessness. I never cease to be amazed at what you pull up. Babette's Feast is described on Amazon as a "delicious movie." Added it to my shopping list, sounds like a great way to experience the tension between denial and indulgence. Gotta see it. Thanks.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Yeah for getting the bike out; it must be spring where you live, LOL. Is one of those extended carriers or pulled along bikes a possibility for your DD for when you can't find child care? No doubt they're expensive, but Craig's List sometimes has bargains.

wendy (wendylan) - Waving; hope all is going well. I'm still drooling about all that SALE produce you picked up.

Mez (mezmerize) - So glad that you are home and comfortable enough to post again. Hope your healing continues so that you can get your focus back. Thanks for the pictures of your AeroGardens - they're neat! I do know the joy of picking an herb to put on the meal being prepared. Yum.

barbpos – Congrats on the good news from your cardiologist. Big Kudos for staying on track moving along to Program-day 20. I like your mantra idea; went and wrote one for myself. My take on the food planning strategy is that the value is in pre-planning; the extra twelve hours isn't a big deal. Keep doing what's working for you.

onebyone – Congrats on the 3.6 pounds gone. Kudos for getting organized and finding this thread. Kudos to us for getting so much from your thoughtful posts. And Kudos for thinking through your reason for wanting to skip your exercise and then making a choice for a reduced set, rather than total avoidance; I appreciate the demo on dealing with reality while staying the course.

hafowler – Kudos for marching forward up to Program-day 12. I'm not qualified to give advice about anxiety, but my take on Beck's Hunger exercise is that it's designed to make us aware that, for most of us, hunger goes away after a short while and the discomfort is never that great. I suggest that you note that that's her intention and move on; as mentioned by Sue, there's a lot of good stuff yet to go.

You might consider an abbreviated version of the exercise. If there's a day when your schedule forces you to eat lunch slightly later, you could record your discomfort level during that interval. My take is that this isn't necessary - just an option if it appeals to you.

Readers – “How Cognitive Therapy Works
Cognitive Therapy is based on the concept that the way people think affects how they feel and what they do. For example, let’s say you have the thought I’m hungry. If you have ‘sabotaging thoughts’ – such as This is terrible … I can’t stand it … I have to eat! … you’ll feel panicky and grab some food. …” Beck, pg 20.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-09-2008, 10:41 AM
Readers – “How Cognitive Therapy Works
Cognitive Therapy is based on the concept that the way people think affects how they feel and what they do. For example, let’s say you have the thought I’m hungry. If you have ‘sabotaging thoughts’ – such as This is terrible … I can’t stand it … I have to eat! … you’ll feel panicky and grab some food. …” Beck, pg 20.
Good Morning Coaches. I had to start with the quote BillBlueEyes posted from the book cause I did this yesterday. I found throwing away food very difficult. I could not put extra portions of the food I was having on my plate, but knew I had to throw something away so I looked around and for one meal I put the heel of one used up bread loaf and the heel of the bread loaf in use, toasted, with margarine, on my plate to be thrown away. I never intended to eat that, never crave that food, and yet to see me push it from my plate into the garbage made me feel so bad! I felt too poor to do that, to waste food, too evil for wasting food (why with all this snow out there surely the squirrels could have eaten that bread I said to myself after and then felt worse...) and for my next meal I added another bread thing that had nothing to do with the meal and I found myself wanting it once it was on my plate. I did throw it away but again I was filled with negative thoughts on my behaviour doing that. And then for dinner, which we were instructed to eat fast, I ate like I used to (very fast) and as I got up to put the dirty dish in the sink I walked past a bunch of bananas, grabbed one and shoved it in my mouth chompchompchompchomp. 4 bites all gone one after the other.Yikes! Only after I was walking into the living room did I realize I ate standing up and superfast and off plan. Wow. I preceeded that act by thinking to myself "She wants us to eat fast and I can just eat this real fast" and so I did. And I remember feeling nervous about eating fast and the whole throwing food away made me upset so for me it was a tough day over tiny things. I didn't expect any of it. Oh and it was Saturday. My challenging day. I did go out and buy an inexpensive charm bracelet full of dangly bits I don't like that I will remove and add my own as I go along. I got a cheap necklace with a skull and crossbones on it and I put that as my first charm onto my bracelet. I know, not very happy is it? but I need to be reminded this is serious, and that seemed to be the ticket... and I don't mind the symbol.

mezmerize I loved seeing your gardens. Really nice. You are doing so well! Don't be in a rush to get back to normal too fast. Your body needs time to heal properly. Be gentle with yourself you're doing great.

hbuchwald How'd your bike ride go?

hafowler I have a Walk Away the Pounds video where Leslie Sansone is showing you some variation of a some walking step and she says to the audience "if you can't do this, it's okay. You're doing 90% of it, why worry about the 10? Just keep going. Don't stop, you can come back to it when you're ready." For some reason this came to mind as I read of your roadblock.
She's right. Do not deny yourself the whole program and all the benefits for the temporary challenge of this one step. Make note that there's an issue there and when you are feeling more confident about it all you'll face it if you need to, and it'll be obvious if/when you need to. Trust yourself, trust us, trust Beck and move forward. BillBlueEyes' suggestion was also a good compromise. If through the course of your regular day you end up in the state of being hungry or missing your scheduled time take advantage and consider that "doing the exercise" and write down your feelings. Congrats on dealing with your binge eating.

coastalsue Sorry to hear you don't feel well today and will miss going to the pool... but kudos for taking care of yourself and your body by resting.

BillBlueEyes Good going at the buffet. You sounded so at peace with your choice when facing the dishes offered. You were inner directed by your foodplan, your goals, and by Beck strategies instead of dictated to by your eyes and the food in front of you. You did not toss out the window what you know to be right for you. Awesome.

03-10-2008, 02:20 AM
Howdy All,

OnebyOne You are working thru many concepts and habits. throwing away food is a tough one-It does take some working thru, So good you are checking out those negative feelings-I have found it amazing some of "solutions" which my mind has me do which are unhealthy. The first step is being aware-Slowly I been making changes-but with some back sliding but never for long. Good Luck on the making all the changes. interesting charm-actually I like skulls also-really like the art around the "day Of the Dead" from Mexico.

BillblueEyes-hope you enjoyed the movie- Often intrigued with foreign movies-they seem to deal with the human spirit versus special effects. Glad you have weather the mood of denial and celebrating the effects of choice-

well I truly have a sinus infection-hope I can get rid of it without meds. I think I am going to push it and swim tomarrow if not too cold and windy. Not eatng alot but I am eating "wrong" just not up to fixing meals. plan to change that soon.


03-10-2008, 06:15 AM
Diet Coaches - Ate on plan yesterday, using my generous head room for eating out, at my potluck lunch and restaurant dinner. CREDIT moi. For using the headroom, Oh Well. I succumbed to the Sabotaging Thought I deserve a reward after I did some extra heavy duty cleanup work at lunch by eating a sample size of bread pudding with "hard sauce" standing up, although on a plate. A little off, but not a big deal, although I always avoid dessert at lunch with no problem. However, that seemed to make it OK to snatch 4 roasted, salted almonds on the fly (i.e. standing up, not on a plate). Again, strange because these are available during social hour every Sunday and I don't even note that I avoid them. That make it seem OK to have 4 more. Then 4 more. Then 4 more.

Now 16 almonds and a sample of bread pudding doesn't break my calorie allocation for the day. But eating them in my old style of stuff-while-standing was a bit disconcerting. Lessons learned: 1) The old eating styles are still in me, 2) Even if I fall into them I am able to stop, 3) It is NOT the same as falling into an unstoppable abyss - I remained on track for the day as a whole.

Alas, a lot of words for 16 almonds. But I want to expose and review that I fell for a classic, I deserve a reward, as if that were such a new idea that it didn't need to pass the am I hungry reality check.

[Looking for someone to start the discussion for Program-day 14, Plan for Tomorrow]

Sue (CoastalSue) - Ouch for the sinus infection. Hope you can get back to your beloved swimming.

Mez (mezmerize) - Sending healing thoughts.

onebyone – Congrats again on the 3.6 pounds gone and the first 5 pounds (repeated from yesterday just to keep some perspective here). BIG BIG Kudos for wrestling with the VERY hard exercise, throwing away food. You are doing great to confront it and to recognize the feelings. Please give yourself credit for countering a lifetime of worshiping the notion of never throwing food away. Be encouraged to know that I also had extra problems wrestling with this.

For me, it seemed impossible to throw away food. I discovered that I simply had never done it before. I always cleaned my plate. I saved all extra food - even if a minuscule quantity that would never be eaten. (DW sweeps the fridge of spoiled leftovers - specifically when I'm not around.) I "completed" the Program-day with some token item similar to your bread heel and kept going. It has taken me months to actually leave food on my plate to be discarded and I celebrated it here with CREDIT moi's as if I'd discovered penicillin. So, keep the faith. Deeply established feelings will take a while to loosen their grip.

Readers – “… On the other hand, if you counter your thought with ‘helpful responses’ – But it’s all right … I’m going to eat in a couple more hours … I can wait - you’ll feel in control and get involved in an activity. … “ Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-10-2008, 10:54 AM
I am so glad to have another new day to do this thing. I had a rough Sunday. Major rebellion. I may need to take a mental break from Beck every two weeks or something. I just DID NOT WANT TO DO WHAT SHE WANTED ME TO DO! I just filled in the pages for yesterday a few minutes ago and I wasn't as "off" as I felt I was. Today I was glad of the checklist! What I did do was eat sitting down and checked off my food as I ate it and recorded what I ate. What I didn't do was follow my plan to a T. I just didn't. I stayed within the bounds of my prgram but I ate much more, like a meals worth, of food during the course of the day. And I definitely ate until I was so stuffed it hurt. But then I stopped eating. I think I deserve a kudos for that. It did not progress into binge eating. It didn't even progress into a pity party where I plunge into despair and roam the house looking for what else to eat. Instead I wanted to figure it out. Figure out why I did that, why I didn't stay on my Beck plan.
I think the line that says
If you feel disappointed that you can't eat more after finishing a meal, remind yourself that it's okay--you'll be able to have a meal (or a snack if you planned one) in just a few hours. It's actually good to be hungry at times because it gives you a chance to build up your tolerance.
is a real trigger for me. What I highlighted there is the part I underlined the day before last and then yesterday and sheesh. Disappointment and food mixed together. Don't know what the problem in there is for me, but it's something. Time to pick up paper and pencil and write the thing out. Geez it feels like work today.

I haven't used the response cards properly cause I don't want to tear them out of the book (!) so I am scanning them TODAY and cutting those apart to carry around.

And a confession for Day 19 Don't deceive yourself: I haven't been counting the points for the non-dairy creamer I use, or milk if I use that, that I put in my coffee. I guess I have to. It is food going into my body... sigh again. Today I don't feel like doing this, but I'll do it anyway.

coastalsue thanks for mentioning that while working through things you may backslide but not for long. I feel this may be true with me as well. I did not throw the whole program out the windwo this weekend and I still feel extremely hopeful about it inspite of my difficulties... which in hindsight weren't all that bad. I think it's progress that I recognize that. I'm not perfect. Go figure.

BillBlueEyes I think I'm going to go and check out some of the past Beck discussions here. I think it'll be helpful to see what you and others wrote as you passed by where I am at. Almonds. A very sneaky food in my book! They add up fast and taste so good. It seems that we are all working on two levels here. The first is the structure of the foodplan we choose, and then we impose the Beck framework over that structure. If we step out of Beck we are still within the frame of the diet we're following and it takes another move to be out of that frame altogether. It's kind of comforting for me to recognize this.

03-10-2008, 11:33 AM
Hi everyone! We're finally out from under a massive snowstorm that kept us barricaded in most of the day on Saturday. DH stopped by the supermarket on Friday, and said it was a zoo. Thought that was interesting - we knew that the storm was going to be bad, so most people wanted to stock up on food prior. Which makes a certain sense - but it was only supposed to snow until late afternoon Saturday (which it did,) and by Sunday most of the roads were perfectly passable. So why in the name of Pete would there be a general panic on Friday? If we actually inventoried all the stuff in the kitchen, pantry, and deep freeze, we'd probably have enough food to last until spring. Yeah, we'd run out of grapefruit and cheese, but somehow thinking of a bad snowstorm is enough to trigger everyone's primitive brain into survival mode. I wonder if that's the visceral reaction Bill and onebyone have to throwing away food? I've spent some time working on the intense need to accumulate stuff. Clothing, perfume, makeup, computer games, books, candles, furniture, tchoktches. So much stuff is so easy to come by - buying things or getting things seems to tap into some deep need we have for security, even when the stuff itself becomes the problem. Getting rid of it is hard hard hard! I'm now much more comfortable with it, but I still have to tell myself that it's perfectly fine to give away clothes or sell extra pieces of furniture or whatever I'm doing to cut down on the STUFF. I tell myself that I have to get rid of it in order to replace it with something better - and sometimes something better is a cleaner, saner house. Same for food. It's fine to get rid of it (the squirrels or the birds or the guys at the office will enjoy it) because I'm replacing it with something better. And - get this - I'm trying to spend more time carefully choosing every single thing I buy, rather than going crazy at Half Price Books or buying cheap shoes on eBay or whatever it is. MAN what parallels to eating! DH and I spent 45 minutes last night looking at guitar charms to make sure I got exactly the right one to celebrate getting into the 170's. I have a vision for myself which includes a few really special things and much less crap. It takes constant attention, though. Onebyone, I love the idea of a skull. Provides the last word in perspective, you know? And I feel ya on your day yesterday. Sometimes it just feels like it's so hard - have you gotten to the part where she talks about adding up all the time when you struggled, and comparing it to the time when you didn't struggle? It can be an eye-opener. Sounds like major credit to you!

Barb, IMHO you're doing great with exactly what you're doing! Sounds like you're doing fabulously and why fix it if it ain't broken? Hafowler, I understand that anxiety. I agree with these wise coaches - it's not supposed to hurt. It sounds to me like you're more than able to experience the anxiety and full range of emotional response with an abbreviated version of the exercise. How we cope with Day 12 is illuminating no matter what! I found that I overdid it and made myself crazy, which is exactly how I handle a lot of things. Anyway - sounds like you're infinitely more aware of what it's triggering in you, which is part of the point (or at least how I understand it.)

CoastalSue, I LOVED Babette's Feast although it's been many, many, many years since I've seen it. What a fabulous story. It was part of a collection of short stories that were just great. Written by Karen Blixen who also wrote Out of Africa. Hope your sinus infection gets better! I'm finally getting over the flu. So excited about getting to the end of the sick season.

Hi Bill! Absolutely fondant is for mere mortals. :) I make it out of marshmallows. Pretty easy although it's a fearsome mess to clean up. Credit on keeping your head in the face of lunchtime dessert and nuts. I wonder how thin people feel when that happens? Now that people have started commenting on my weight loss, my concern is that I'll stop (I look so good now! why bother to keep going?) I can't imagine staying focused and attentive when I'm no longer getting complimented on changes in my appearance. My hat is off to you and your intrinsic motivation. It may seem counter-intuitive but I find your discussions of the occasional lapses sort of comforting. It's perfectly possible to lose and maintain loss and still be the same person, working on the same issues!

Happy Monday everyone! It was powerful struggle getting up this morning an hour early - but we did it. Kudos! :)

03-10-2008, 12:25 PM
Everyone here is AMAZING!! i love how close everyone seems and how postive everyone is even when faced with tough choices! i am so glad that i found this group. one thing that i have not done in the past is come here on the weekends, but i see that most of you do so i will too!!!
today is just day one for me. write my advantages response cards. i haven't done this yet but it is on my list of things to do during lunch. i will come back and list them here, mostly to help me see and remember. hope everybody is having a great day, will be back soon...amy

03-10-2008, 01:25 PM
Hbuchwald – My doctor wants me to walk but the meds make me dizzy so I only would walk when DH was around. I cut my ½ and I was able to go it alone. While there was discomfort I was able to finish and had a slight fever that night. I think that I should have stuck to just the walking but the house needed cleaning and I feel that is where I over did it. I love those little green houses for starter seeds. I had a dog that always managed to get into the garden and dig them up or I’d end up over watering them. The only outdoor plant that have managed to make it in spite of me or my dog are bell peppers, tomatoes and cucumbers. That is the extent of my green thumb. Biking sounds like a great way to work in fitness.

Hafolwer – I understand your fear. I feel if you think this will set off a binge wait until you are stronger. Or maybe you can prepare for it just in case. Cut up lots of veggies /low cal food. Pack what foods may send you into that danger zone at some ones home or in a car of friend till you feel you are safe. Sending Will Power Dust your way.

Coastalsue – I hope you feel better. I LOVED Biglots!! They closed their store in my area and I even wrote the company a letter asking to come back! No answer. I’m sure areo gardens will be in their at some point they get lots of good stuff.

Gahundy – Welcome!!

BillBlueEyes – Kudos on choosing one.

Onebyone – If the symbol will help you then you did the right thing buying it. Eating standing is something I really can’t let slip. I found this to be a huge problem because when I let veggies slip I soon let other things.

As for me. I’ve cut my meds to ½ pill and today am trying to go as long as I can w/o them. I do plan on a 1 mile WATP. Skip housework and watch a movie. I do feel guilty planning this. I just don’t think I’ll be able to do both. I’m down another 2lbs. Which is great and scary. I see that 200lbs getting closer and am once again having thoughts that my body won’t let me go below no matter what I do. This is my main reason for walking. I want to get below and so that thought is out of my head for good. I’m pretty much eating on plan just on the bland side. I did make a lettuces sandwich (lettuce wrapped around chicken) from my areo garden. Maybe it’s me but I was so full of flavor! I’m glad you like the pictures.

03-10-2008, 03:21 PM
Hello all,

Yesterday I fell into the unstoppable eating abyss(great phrasing BillBlueEyes)1. I was sick-annoying sinuses , 2. Stressed and mad at myself doing taxes and losing documents, 3. Had a increditable emotional day dealing with a chronic family matter-was sad, anger and guilty about the situation, Tried the old food cure to solve problems-stupid, stupid. Even as I overate it felt hollow-I knew food was not helping. I was a food jerk But I really am learning that food does not cure my emotional upheavals,-woke up knowing I need to forgive my sloppy filing system, knowing that my family member's problems are their and not my" fault" and staying fat ain't helping a thing in my life. I am getting stronger facing my own demons not believing that food will help. It was a silly half heart try to do it the old food numbing way. Anyway wrote out my food plan, record what I have eaten today and am making the health grocery list next.

mezmerize-I think skipping the house cleaning and watching a movie sounds great. It has taken me such a long time to like and need to exercise, I'll swim versus doing mundane stuff(like cleaning) if my energy is limited.

KulhJeannie-Liked your ideas on getting rid of stuff-There are so many thrift stores I have added the concept for me "that I need give the stuff a new home in the universe versus just being hidden and unused in the back of my garage. I have found as I have lost weight, I have gotten rid of alot of unused stuff also-interesting

onebyone-Like you I finding let go of old habits alot of work-I can even see myself repeating unhealthy ones even as i know the habit no longer works.I guess some of us a just like that-slow changers but we can do it -it just takes a bit more practice for us. The goal is the best and the old ways just aren't good for us.

BilBlueEyes-Glad overall you stayed with the daily plan-Got any other ideas why the "extras". Was there more than just " I deserve a break today ?" Maybe like I felt yesterday you could feel the hollowness of the food act and knew that you no longer wanted to truly retrun to the old habits-yet kind of wanted the old "comfort" mindless eating seemed to give.

gahundy-I really use the advantage cards to remind me to stay healthy when food's allure calls-it has been one of the best exercises. Good luck


03-10-2008, 04:37 PM
Hey buddies...i am back and have made my list and several copies to keep in strategic locals.
here is summarized version of my reasons to lose weight list:
better health, more energy, less self-conscious and critical, feel better physically, be happier when i see myself in mirror or pics, able to wear more st ylish clothes, more comfy on back of dh motorcycle, look better, able to exercise without embarrassement, more fit, more in control, more attractive to others, enjoy clothes shopping more and finally feel like i have accomplished somethign important.
so there it is, out there in cyber space for anyone to read but mostly to help me on this journey to a better me.
this list will be posted on my fridge and cabinet doors, in medicine chest, on my nightstand, in my wallet and on my desk. if i even just think about giving in to the feasty beasties, i will see my list and hopefully stop!
well so far, day one of the plan and going strong!! we shall see what tomorrow brings...amy

03-10-2008, 10:58 PM
Hi there friends,
It is report card season..this means that I am doing a lot of paperwork stuff and it feelsl like finals week in college. I love the term "feasty beasties"! I overindulged in dark chocolate tonight in avoidance of facing tonight's pile of work to do. I got fancy and purchased dark chocolate by Lindt that has chili pepper in it-it is nice. Reading everyone's posts is so motivating to me always but tonight, it really has pulled me back into my groove. I recorded the extra chocolate and am planning tomorrow. I also will get on that treadmill tonight after dd goes to bed. We did our bikeride this weekend and it felt GREAT. We went about 5 miles but my bike survived and so did I! I actually wanted to go further but I didn't want to push it too much-I must start small so that I want to keep coming back to it.

Tomorrow is my birthday and we will go to a great little hometown pizza place that has wonderful thin crust pizza. I REALLy want to have carrot cake and there is a bakery across from the pizza place with the best carrot cake and I will share a piece with DD so that we don't have a cake around here for me to nibble on. I am accomodating this by having a normal breakfast and then a big salad at lunchtime. I look forward to it and know my limit and am now accountable to you, my coaches. Thanks!

I love the revisit of the idea about clutter around the house and how analogous that is to carrying extra weight on our bodies. It is true. Why hang on to stuff that isn't useful to us anymore?

I am sorry that I am not identifying who shared what thought-I am a bit rushed tonight but someone did talk about how they are anticipating self sabotage because people are noticing their weight loss..why bother continuing? I am fighting that feeling that way right now as well. For one thing, when I lose more weight, soon I will not have clothes to wear...bittersweet huh? AND I went into this saying that I am doing this for health reasons and for feeling like my best self, etc... and now am getting caught up in what others are saying to me about looking good, seeming healthy, changing lifestyle, etc... it feels great and true. I also think that I need to put extra emphasis on my advantage response cards right now-they state the real reasons that I am taking good care of myself. I did print out each reason on a business size card so that I can look at one advantage at a time instead of my whole list each time. I have to remind myself that I am not in a race to lose weight and that I am not going to "reach ultimate health" and then be done with it-this is a lifelong process.

This group really is so positive and supportive. I truly appreciate all of you sharing and responding.

I will take on Day 14. I will plan on that for tomorrow-hahahaaa.

Until tomorrow, Heidi

03-11-2008, 06:56 AM
Diet Coaches - Celebrating Today:
• 1 year at 158 pounds, my Lowest Maintainable Weight Beck, pg 274.
• 2.5 years on my healthy lifestyle journey, which I also count as my maintenance period, using the notion by Meg that we are all maintainers after we lose the first pound. That’s a big deal because it’s half way toward the 5 years that The National Weight Control Registry studies have shown distinguishes those likely to keep it off. Five years is my BIG goal.
• 7 months since joining 3FC.
• 6 months posting to these Beck threads.
Thank you Diet Coaches for your wise insights, for sharing of your journeys, and for your kind responses to me. You provide inspiration to go forward and stability to prevent slipping.

Thank you Dr. Beck for publishing; even though my loss was completed before you published in May 07, the strategies of the Beck Diet Solution give me confidence that it's possible to keep it off.

If any of the previous posters in the Beck threads are passing by or any Readers feel so inclined, please post a wave to collect your slice of organic death-by-chocolate virtual anniversary cake, 0 calories, LOL.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Ouch for your diversion. Big Kudos for working it out and keeping your perspective. Hoping that swimming weather arrives for you to allow you that support.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Happy Birthday !!!! Kudos for purchasing the good chocolate. And Kudos for your fun plan for your birthday dinner. Thanks for taking on Program-day 14 in the midst of report cards - should we look forward to A- and C+ type of discussion, LOL.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Congrats for reaching the 170’s. I find it very useful how you compare losing the accumulations and losing weight. I hope you continue to pursue this in your posts. And thanks for elevating a frequent whine of maintenance into a benefit, via "It's perfectly possible to lose and maintain loss and still be the same person, working on the same issues!"

Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos for working through your meds and exercises and taking care of yourself. Congrats on the recent 2 pounds. Sending support as you wrestle with the thoughts of impending wonderland.

onebyone – Sending warm support as you navigate through your rebellion. And thanks for this really neat perspective – I’d never thought of this and will also take comfort in it: It seems that we are all working on two levels here. The first is the structure of the foodplan we choose, and then we impose the Beck framework over that structure. If we step out of Beck we are still within the frame of the diet we're following and it takes another move to be out of that frame altogether. It's kind of comforting for me to recognize this.

amy (gahundy) – Great Advantages Response Card, thanks for sharing. It's nice to see "health" at the top as it is in my own, as well as your speicifically amy's "more comfy on back of dh motorcycle."

Readers – “… Cognitive Therapy helps you identify your sabotaging thinking and effectively respond to it, so you feel better and can behave in helpful ways.” Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-11-2008, 10:06 AM
BillBlueEyes - :cb::bravo::cp::dance::woohoo:

coastalsue - Sending healing thoughts.

hbuchwald - :celebrate::bday2you::celebrate::balloons::gift:

03-11-2008, 11:04 AM
congrats to billie!! that is amazing i know you will be able to continue this maintenance well past five years. i also liked what was said about maintenance begining with the loss of the first pound. That may be the perspective i need to keep my chin up!

happy happy birthday to heidi!! you have a great plan for today, i know you can do this!

today i am on task #2: pick two diet plans. i have checked out a book from the library that details and compares about 75 different plans. i will read this today and hopefully before i go to bed tonight i will have chosen two plans. take that back, not "hopefully" but "before i go to bed..."
i will come back and post my choices as soon as i make them. i am also interested in how everybody's day is going, so i will definetly be back to "visit" with everyone.
have a great day!!amy

03-11-2008, 04:34 PM
ok boys and girls, i have completed task 2: pick two diet plans
the one i am going to start with is called "the good mood diet". it helps you choose foods that help you feel well instead of sick. i picked this diet b/c i feel like i am always complaining about something, i never feel well, i am also exhauasted. i really hope this plan is the one. i swear, finding "the one" was easier when i meant husband, not diet. i had no idea just how many good diets there really are. i started out picking about 6 and narrowed it down to 2.
ok so plan b diet is the "fat is not your fate" diet. it takes into account your personality as well as genetics to help you eat right and to avoid "trigger" foods. it also seems liekit will work well for me. honestly the 'good mood diet" was chosen as diet plan A b/c my library has it and i don't have to rush out and buy yet another book. i think with all the books and videos i own i could start my own weightloss clinic :) i know that as long as i follow beck then it really doesn't matter which one i choose, IT WILL WORK!.
well that's about all for now, since no one has come back and posted since my last post this morning i am assuming everyone is having a busy day, but will be in shortly or first thing tomorrow...amy

03-11-2008, 06:54 PM
gahundy - I've not heard of that plan sound very interesting.

As for me today I did Walk Slim 4 fast miles. While I wasn't able to do all the moves I did jog and some light forward kicking. I was so happy I finished the 4 miles.

03-11-2008, 07:56 PM
BillBlueEyes -- Congratulations on your one year maintaining at your goal weight -- and two and a half years on this path. It's really a great acheivement and an inspiration. And thank you so much for making your celebration cake organic...otherwise, I might have had to pass on it;)

Mez -- it's great that you were able to do so much exercise.

Day 24 for me. Looking at it's not fair....I don't so much think it's unfair that I can't have sweets or high fat foods right now, even when other people are eating them. I want to lose weight, and in order to do that I have to eat fewer calories than my body would need to maintain.

What I do feel is unfair is that I've never been able to eat sweets like a thin least not for any sustained period of time or with any consistency. I think a thin person can have one serving, enjoy it, and move on. One serving just leaves me wanting more and usually having more. Right now, I'm not eating any sugar-sweetened sweets. I may try a planned bite or two ocassionally for special occasions, and I may choose not to. I don't know if I'll be able to sucessfully introduce them in the future and eat them like a thin person, even with the Beck tools. And that feels unfair.

So, what's the response?

1. Being healthy and thinner is more important to me than eating sweets.
2. Yea, life is unfair, and everyone has their challenges. Sweets are one of mine.
3. Give myself credit for not eating sweets now.
4. Who knows what the future may bring. Maybe I'll be able to eat sweets as part of planned eating in the future. Trust myself and involve my diet coach in deciding when and how to give it a try.

03-11-2008, 09:01 PM
Hi Everyone...

I am just starting the Beck Program... I'm on day 4 and was
thrilled to find this group. I'm new to 3FC as well. I'm not
sure how you guys organize this thread so I hope I'm not
being inappropriate just jumping in.

You look like a fun group with some real success and I need
to be around some winning weight loss. I want this to be
my year. I know all about diets and that is why Beck really
appeals to me. I don't know how to STAY on the diet.

Cognitive therapy worked wonders for my brother for
another issue, so I'm hopeful I can learn from you fellow
strugglers, how to help myself to finally drop these
pounds from my life.

BTW, I'm Ellen from NJ. <smile>

03-11-2008, 09:42 PM
Hi, all, just dropped in for a minute, and am glad I did...

Congratulations, dear BillBE. You rock!

Welcome, Ellen! I am scarce around here these days, but a big, big fan of Beck, so I hope you stay with us and feel good about your choice.

Barpos, as far as the unfairness of not being able to eat sweets-- I have had that sabotaging thought about not being able to eat everything I want the way thin people seem to be able to do. Don't know if you have read the introduction of Beck, but boy, did she lay that out in black and white...thin people DO "watch what they eat"...and girl, do they ever. If you read the maintainers thread, it will really drive that home for you.

Here's another thought that may help. (and I need to keep this in mind when it comes to wine, too, believe me) Sugar and all those refined carbs that break down in our bodies into simple sugars cause our skin to wrinkle..big time

"When blood sugar goes up rapidly, sugar can attach itself to collagen in a process called "glycation," making the skin stiff and inflexible. Losing this elastic resilience of young skin will give you deep wrinkles and make you look old."

This from no less an expert than Dr. Perricone, author of The Perricone Promise, another one of my favorite gurus..not for everyone, mind you, but I love him!

My point is: that glycation process happens to everyone....skinny people, too. Not fair to anyone, because the one taste that all animals love, regardless of species, is sweet. We all love it, but alas, there is more to consider with sweets and refined carbs than our waistlines. Tis sad, but unfair to all. And I was just wishing for some of my favorite licorice pastels..*sigh:dizzy:

03-11-2008, 10:49 PM
Hello Coaches

Day 20 is just about over for me. I am having a bit of trouble figuring out the details of my food plan. I follow Weight Watchers points and I am allowed a certain # of points per day and then I have a weekly allowance of points for the week that can be used for unexpected, unplanned food. This is in direct conflict with Beck and her NO CHOICE and plan everything and do not eat off plan notions. My WW plan allows me to "eat off plan" by giving me extra points to take to cover what I eat, but Beck tells me to stay strictly to my foodplan. So what's happened the last few days is I have had an extra snack at night or during the day and while it is off Beck's plan it is still on my food plan. I dutifully write it down immediately but I am starting to feel bad for doing it at all... but it's not breaking the rules of my WW plan so should I feel bad? What's right? Should I never eat any of those extra points during the week that WW allows me to have? Not sure what to do on this topic. One of the reasons I chose WW is just for these weekly points to cover unforeseen events, and to have a few extras sometime.

kuhljeanie I was in the grocery store on Friday and we had a huge rush because our big storm was coming the next day. I half asked myself why I was there as I know I have lots of food in the house. I totally relate to getting rid of clutter. My house is a mess and has always been that way. I have tried off and on to get rid of things. It's always up there on the to do list. Someday soon I want to tick it off my list as done.

gahundy Good going on completing your task to pick two diet plans. And I am with you that Beck will be the key that makes it all work in the long term. Kudos to you!

mezmerize Wow you did the 4mi workout?! That's a serious workout. Congrats. You must be feeling pretty good today...

coastalsue I find it so hard to stay focused and determined when I feel sick and then the family stuff? Very tough. Good that you've re-focused and it's true, the old solutions just do not work anymore. Good thing we have a plan and some friends to help us figure things out.

hbuchwald :celebrate: Hope you enjoyed your day today!

BillBlueEyes :congrat: What an accomplishment! A year maintaining.
I hope someday I'll be able to say that too. And that you came here after you'd lost your weight and you've stuck around and I am glad to have your perspective. It reminds me that this journey rewally doesn't end when the scale reads x number. We still have our heads to deal with too. And I didn't know about the 5 years at maintenance weight is considered successful and a predictor that you'll keep the weight off. When you think about that it really is a long term program that you need to live with. Congratulations on being 1/2 way there. That's really something.

barbpos I'm not at day 24 yet but the notion that "this is not fair" is something I have felt forever it seems. I will have alot to say about it in a few days when I am on that day. I haven't written out many formal responses to the days that have challenged me (mostly 18 and 19 so far). I just wanted to "run away" and get through the day already without looking back, like I'd really mess up and all my weightloss will be "taken away from me". Even now I am surprised that at night I step on the scale and I am not 260 or above. I keep waiting for the scale to rise. it hasn't this week, and there's no reason it should. Hmmm. I don't trust that this is working do I? Guess I need your help coaches on this one.

SeaChild I am here trying Beck because cognitive therapy helped me a lot with other issues too. And yep, you do just jump right in. Welcome!

maryblu Ah aging. Yes, we all do get older no matter what size we are. I didn't know how sugar was involved in that process. And your comment about maintainers really working at maintaining is eye opening too. I've just never been in that boat and I hope that the skills I learn here will serve me when I do get there.

Have a good evening folks.

03-12-2008, 12:46 AM
Hello there friends,

Thanks for the birthday wishes. DD has a little sore throat and had a slight fever yesterday so I didn’t know if we would go out for dinner tonight or not. She was JAZZED to go when I picked her up today. The pizza place was not open tonight so I went to the carrot cake place and had bruschetta and a wedge salad and my carrot cake. I looked forward to eating that carrot cake all day was very good but I ate all of it and really didn’t need to. I am fighting feeling badly about that. I allotted it in my plan, ate it all but had that old mindset of feeling like I should have eaten more slowly or saved half of the piece for tomorrow. They I would have had two days of the yumminess to look forward to. Oh well. It is behind me now (pardon the pun). I really think that I need to practice the exercise of putting too much on my plate so that I can throw some of my food away. Anyway, it was a good day overall. Kudos to me for following my plan, enjoying my food and not totally beating myself up for eating more food than my body said that it needed.

BIG CONGRATS on your hard work, determination and for always putting everything you’ve got into your posts. I am so glad that you feel that you benefit from this group as well since you contribute so much. I am going to consider myself on maintenance. It is so true-we are all maintaining what we have lost even if we have not hit the ultimate weight loss goal yet-genious!

Mesmerize: good work on the working out and on doing the moves that felt okay and skipping the ones that didn’t. Glad that you are feeling better (it sounds like!).

Amy: Interesting sounding book-what is the title? Are most of the diets ones we have heard of? WW? Atkins, etc.. ? You sound solid in your choices for diets.

Barpos: I hear you on the eating sweets issue! Great responses to that sort of thinking.

Ellen: Welcome to the group! It is just great that you jump in and share what you want. I hope you love the Beck way as much as we do here!

Maryblu: HI! Thanks for reminding us that thin people watch what they eat too. I am going to lurk on the maintainer’s thread to drive it home.

Onebyone: Interesting dilemma to be in with WW and Beck rules. I would say that if the extra points are working for you each week –go for it. It may be just the way that you can allow yourself that indulgence without going overboard. Sue talked about allotting extra calories for unplanned eating each day to not feel deprived. A great strategy!

03-12-2008, 01:00 AM
This is the day before the eating plan officially is started. Beck reminds us of the reasons to plan what we eat ahead of time:
1. You think about how you will acquire your food (shopping, preparing, etc..) ahead of time
2. Remember what you are supposed to eat so that you don't have to problem solve on the fly
3. Helps avoid spontaneous eating
4. tolerate hunger for short periods and overcome cravings
5. Make decisions about eating before encountering triggers

"Once I accept the fact that I have to write a food plan every evening for the next day, dieting will be easier. (Beck page 139)

Timely note: Beck refers to page 23 in in the workbook about modifying your diet plan. She encourages people to make sure to include foods that you know you will feel deprived of if you leave them out. She states that she includes some junk food in her diet everyday and adjusts the portions of her meals to accomodate for that, making sure that she isn't compromising too many nutrients. She makes it an evening snack so she isn't making that decision on the fly when she is faced with something tempting. It really does up her credibility since she is living this stuff herself too isn't it?

03-12-2008, 02:05 AM
Hello All,

tried to get in earlier but this site was down in my area for some reason.

BillBlueEyes-Hugh congrads for your well earned and maintained success!! Thanks for hanging in here and supporting us "still learning the ropes" folks. You are inspirational. Can you send before and after pics? Your cake tasted great!

Heidi-Hope you are celebrating your birthday and all of your successes in life. Much joy today. back to the getting rid of things and lbs-my kids keep saying I look better and so does the house. i guess both are a lot less full of stuff.

Welcome SeaChild-just jump in and start posting what is important to you. What ever is your struggle or success There is a common audience here to support you. Folks here understand the work it takes for these changes but we all believe diet alone is not enough. Some real changes are possible with the Beck stratagies.

OnebyOne-About your using the extra ww points and using the Back food plan. Can you include snacks as part of the food plan and then if checking in you are not hunger-forgo the snack that day. I think the ultimate goal of Beck is to master implusve eating. Prehaps a set time for the snack, a set amount of options of what to have for a snack-I think Beck's goal is for us to stop mindless/implusive eating-you are staying within the cal count and recording it. Beck wants us to learn to stop eating implusively gobbling on the go-cookies at work, candy dish on desks, kid's left overs on plates, eating directly from the peanut butter jar-ect. You may be hunger and need that extra snack-just plan for it.-no guilt.

Gahundy-haven't heard of your diets-as you use them let us know more-post those advantage cards about-you got some good ideas on them and they work.

Barbpos-Oh that @#$#* sweet love. I actually have very slowly lost alot of taste for sweets-It still is best if I have none in the house and never can have ice cream at home -just have to save that stuff for an outing. -after 2 yrs I had some popcorn in the movies-it was great. I also used to eat any thing sweet-now only the best-no more cheap candy-but super dark chocolate the over price stuff is it now. I did like you mentioned- I went "cold turkey" on sweets for a number of months-now have small sections of super dark chocolate during the week. Like Maryblu mentioned the stuff ain't healthy for us either. It is a pain but it is Oh Well- Your four response statements were the best and said it all.

mezmerize-thanks for the postive thoughts-What great graphics you can add to your postings! Admire your commitment to exercising.

I went swimming yesterday and today feel a bit worse with a sore throat-but heck I am getting a great tan while using the outdoor pool-too bad it is rather cold and windy. I finally got brave and got on the scales after the trip and food temper tantrum- I did not gain extra weight-yes!!! I give swimming and internalizing some of Beck's concepts credit for keeping me in some check even when off program. Next food hurtle will be St. Patty's stuff and visiting friends. PS some of the paper work which I was so upset for losing-DH had removed and attached to with other papers. umm-another point for stop being so self critical!!-One more afternoon of work and taxes whould be ready. Then it is getting time to do something creative-One of the lines from Babette's Feast is- One is never poor if one is an artist.

take care

03-12-2008, 05:51 AM
:welcome: Ellen (SeaChild) :welcome:

Welcome to the Beck Diet Solution Discussion Group, Support Group, Diet Coach Group.

And, in honor of your first post on 3FatChicks, :wel3fc:

Yes, you are most welcome to jump right in. Figure out your own style of posting - there isn't a right way or wrong way here.

By the by, how did you find us?

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations

03-12-2008, 07:26 AM
Diet Coaches - Thank you for all the kind congratulations. With that 2.5 year milestone behind me, the next thing on my TO DO List is a day of maintenance. So, I'm on it.

Appropriate to today's topic of planning what we eat ahead of time (thanks heidi), I faced a "lunch provided" meeting yesterday. Gritted my teeth to make do with best choices available. And, VOILA, an amazing array of food appeared: Huge salad of baby greens with walnuts, dried cranberries, and feta cheese with balsamic vinaigrette on the side; roasted veggie sandwiches; big bowl of cut fruits; and a table of large (500ish calorie) cookies, yummy looking cakes, and tempting pies. Easy choices, I have no trouble ignoring a whole table of yummy desserts and the stuff I chose was more on plan than my packed lunch. Nice send off for the second half of my journey.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Yeah for back to swimming, Ouch that the throat lingers. Your St. Patty's day comment reminded me that when I discussed having our traditional corned beef dinner for St. Patrick's day, I was looking forward to the wonderful overcooked cabbage and carrots rather than my old style longing for how much corned beef I could down. Good luck with your guests.

MaryBlu - Ouch for your wrinkled observations. Forever, now, when I look in the mirror, I'll see my history of excess chocolate bars, LOL. Does quality chocolate leave better looking wrinkles?

Heidi (hbuchwald) - What a great birthday dinner with a "JAZZED DD." I do know that feeling of second guessing a planned treat. I've had good success with a planned single bite and with a planned zero bites. But, I've not had any examples of taking a treat and stopping half way. Methinks I'll have to accept that as an unfairness from my past life of over eating.

Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos for finishing the 4 miles. Sending warm wishes for your continued healing.

barbpos – Organic Kudos for continued progress on your Beck plan. I like your 4 Helpful Responses to feeling unfair, particularly, "4. Who knows what the future may bring. Maybe I'll be able to eat sweets as part of planned eating in the future." Think I'll steal that for myself.

onebyone – Glad that you're gonna wrestle this to the ground until you've got it right for yourself. I've come to accept that I have a written plan with a built in overhead that allows me to eat a bounded amount of unexpected food; that makes me still on Beck. However, I share with you that I continue to worry that any sample from Whole Foods is the first bite of a 50 pound weight gain. I read my Believe It Response Card a bunch. Sending warm support that you find peace for yourself over this.

amy (gahundy) – Kudos for picking your two diets - sounds like you've made choices that strongly appeal to you. Methinks you're right on with, "i know that as long as i follow beck then it really doesn't matter which one i choose, IT WILL WORK!"

Ellen (SeaChild) - Kudos for marching forward to Program-day 4. It's great that you already trust CBT. You capture why Beck appeals to me with, "I know all about diets and that is why Beck really appeals to me. I don't know how to STAY on the diet."

Readers – “Cognitive Therapy teaches people how to solve problems, and dieters can have lots of problems. …” Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-12-2008, 09:44 AM
Barbpos – I was very proud and I felt wonderful afterwards. I had to slow my walking pace down and didn’t hit the jogging in place as hard as usually but I did work up a nice sweat. I feel I was able to do more because I prepared myself mentally for it. Plus I wasn’t dazed and tired from the meds. I told myself that I can do this and if I feel my pain level going over a 4 I would quit. I also have one huge thing hanging over my head now. To get below 200 and I’m determined to get there. I’ve lost these same 40 lbs 3 times. I will not let that happen a 4th! Kudos on tackling your sugar. My down fall is pasta I love the stuff and will eat lots. So for now I don’t make it.

SeaChild – Welcome!

OnebyOne – I’m doing WW and this my take on it. Since WW is working for me I feel that Beck works with every plan and I truly know when I’m am not following my WW plan. The Beck Book is written to help me follow my plan so I don’t feel guilty for doing something that is working for me. I Tailor Beck to to fit my plan and I see no need to change it or feel guilty. I hope I haven’t offended anyone.

hbuchwald – WTG staying on plan! I hope DD feel better soon.

coastalsue – KUDOS for not gaining weight! Those graphic are under advanced then you'll smile with dancing carrot click more and there are lots.

BillBlueEyes - YUM-O!!!

As for me I feel wonderful today. I maked some sweet potatos fries I seen on a post yesterday they were wonderful. You bake them with a bit Olive Oil and seasoning to your taste. Plus had some chicken breast that needed to be cooked. Son and DH didn't try the sweet potatos but I figured they wouldn't so only made 1. ( good thing because I would had a hard time sharing) ;)

03-12-2008, 11:16 AM
Good morning everyone!
bill-i am glad that your meeting offered healthy choices for you! Good job staying away from those cookies and pies!
Welcome to Ellen!! glad i am not the newbie anymore :)
Mez--you are doing awesome!!! keep up the hard work!!
Heidi: the book that i found the diet in was called "the diet selector" and most of the plans in it are common, ww, atkins, etc... just a few little known diets and the book is divided into sections, diet for weight loss, diet for health, special needs (diabetes, gluten intolerance, etc...) it was a very helpful book and i definetely recommend it for anyone who has not chosen a diet plan. it is very well written and easy to choose plans based on your needs.
i am sure there are others that i need to address individually but i am still getting acquainted with everybody. those that i didn't mention, stick with me, it's not personal, i'll get better!!
as for me, i have been reading my response cards are recommended, i think some of it may be sinking in already! today is day 3 and the task is to sit down while i eat. this is proving to be harder than i thought, so it must be very important, right?? breakfast and morning snack were both eaten while i was sitting and i focused on what i was eating instead of reading a book or something at the same time. lunch will really be the test, i usually read while i eat. so even though i am sitting down, i am not really focusing on my food. wish me luck everybody!!

03-12-2008, 11:51 AM
Good Morning Coaches
I was unnerved by the focus of Day 21 when I read ahead in the book last night. This is why I don't usually read ahead!
I immediately thought "I haven't lost enough yet. I can't weigh-in still over 250. I've lost nothing. I can't write it down in the book."
Catastrophizing thoughts. Not seeing what's real. Wanting to hide, feeling bad. And I haven't even got to the day yet! In short; sabotaging thoughts.

let's try an official response (my first one. thanks for reminding me coaches)
1. I am responsible for following my foodplan and for using Beck to help me do that. These are the things that I can control. The actual amount of weight that my body loses is not in my control. these are autonomic bodily functions, like breathing and my heart beating. I cannot exert my will over the functions of my body.
2. Who cares how long it takes to lose weight? No one is counting. I lose weight at the rate my body decides is right for itself. I trust my body and I let this issue go.
3.I have now lost 5.2 lbs. 0 is nothing. 5.2lbs is 5.2x more than that. This statement (I've lost nothing.)is a lie; a self-deception.
4. It's easy to write it down in the book. Use a pen or pencil and record it and then turn the page.

Hmm. I need practice doing this (kind of long-winded!) but it helped.

So what's up with me and all that fuss? Well, I still want that magical huge weightloss number for a week's work staying OP. I have to say that watching The Biggest Loser last night helped me feel negative about my own weightloss. It's not the first time I've felt that way. I just have a disconnect when I watch that show. I saw it last night right after I read ahead to today's "prepare for the scale" task. Last night on the show I saw them all in the gym working out really hard. I heard the black team's coach tell someone on her team (when they were in tears) that they should be proud for working out 6 hours a day (SIX HOURS not 30 minutes of walking like I do--reality check here) and losing 50 lbs in two months.
I've lost 1.2 lbs this last month. Far from 25.
And then at the end of the show they go on the scale one by one and someone is deeply disappointed they "only lost 4". Several people lost 7 (SEVEN!) and one woman lost 2 (she barely held back the tears) and another lost zero, stayed the same, after working out 6 hours a day that week. This show celebrates the giant huge weightloss number and the fast weightloss, done in an extreme but "healthy" way(?) Not sure about that but they say it is. It makes me feel like I should be doing that too. No, that's not it. I feel that I am not good enough, my weightloss isn't good enough. Instead of feeling happy for them and recognizing the enormous effort it took to do that, I turn it around and beat myself up over the fact that in my life, I'm not doing the same thing. I need to recognize I am doing well for me here and now. I just can't help but compare myself to the contestants on this show!Ugh!

response: Don't watch that show. It's a game show. It's a show of extremes done under extreme conditions with lots and lots of behind the scenes help including doctors and nutritionists and time spent focusing solely on weightloss. It's not Real Life.

I just wanted to vent that. It's been bugging me for a while.
Phew long post. Thanks for reading.

hbuchwald Good for you for recognizing you had a choice with the cake, even if it was after the fact, in that you didn't need to eat it all. I think that's great progress. I have a really hard time throwing food away. It's great that you connected the cake with the act of throwing food away and that you see the challenge there for you. And I am glad you thoroughly enjoyed your special treat.

coastalsue I think the ultimate goal of Beck is to master implusve eating. Prehaps a set time for the snack, a set amount of options of what to have for a snack-I think Beck's goal is for us to stop mindless/implusive eating-you are staying within the cal count and recording it. Beck wants us to learn to stop eating implusively...

You're right. It's this very thing that bugs me when I eat off my written plan even though my WW plan says it's okay. It's the behaviour that's the problem. I like the idea of setting options for snacks. That's good. Maybe I'll also write down a certain set amount of points I reserve for that day's extra food if I truly am hungry. Every time I don't follow my written plan I feel like I am reinforcing my old way of eating, of "Eat first. Justify later". The old "better to ask forgiveness than permission" mode of living. I have to break that pattern.

And I must say I felt a pang when I read you were swimming outside getting a tan. The thought of anyone swimming outside didn't even cross my mind here in the snowy Northland. Oh big sigh. What I wouldn't give to be somewhere where I could swim outside right now too! Do enjoy the water outside for me too.

BillBlueEyes Wow you really encounter a lot of out of the home food! You have a lot of experience about facing unexpected food methinks. Thanks for the reminder of the Believe It response card. I think I do need a shot of that right now. And I feel your belief in me that I will indeed "wrestle this to the ground", like some giant grizzly bear, made me laugh. You know I will;)

mezmerize Thank you so much for your take on WW and Beck. I actually forgot that Beck is NOT a diet program. You are so right that it is meant to support the diet you choose to follow. And yes, she isn't telling you anything about that plan or how it works.
I don’t feel guilty for doing something that is working for me. Thank you again. It is working for me and I am using both plans. Why am I in a knot?? Methinks I need the Believe It card big time.

gahundy Sitting down to eat was really eye-opening for me and continues to be something I am very aware of daily. I could not believe how good I was at shoving something so fast into my mouth as I was walking to the living room from the kitchen for example. A few nights ago I did this with a banana. Three bites gone. Wow. For me to sit down makes me slow down automatically and focus. I still fight it but I do do it. Amazing how such a small act is such a big deal. All the best to you today!
Have a great day.

03-12-2008, 03:05 PM
Hello everyone,welcome SeaChild!!!!!![love the name!
I have been keeping up by reading and I am feeling a bit better about everything.Everyone is so super supportive here and great ideas from everyone.
Sorry Bill I just have to mention a female type issue.One thing I know affects me much for the worse is the whole female hormone cycle,definetly noticeable pms symptoms of cravings and mood problems for 1-2 weeks depending.This is usually the time when I eat lots of sweets and sour candies and have the mood that I don't really care to follow any plan and I could smack someone if they told me different.I take some medication for it and extra vitamins but struggle with it alot.Doesn't help much either that this is the time I add water weight that gets me thinking my whole plan is not working.
Anyway,I am feeling better and I am rereading the entire book and I am on day 13 Overcoming Cravings.As I reread I am noticing points I missed the first time through.I plan to stay on this day for awhile because it is my biggest problem.I am going to work on the exercises awhile.One thing I tried that is not a Beck strategy is a diet aid strip called Puralin I bought at Walmart,4.99 for 30 strips.It contains Benzocaine 10% which is a numbing agent like they give you to fill your teeth.When I had a craving for sweets like after lunch I put the strip on my tongue[it tastes grape] and I could not taste anything for about 30 min.This gave me a chance to get involved in something else and my craving went away by the time I could taste again.Like I said not a Beck strategy but it was a bit helpful.
onebyone-I appreciate your statement-2. "Who cares how long it takes to lose weight? No one is counting. I lose weight at the rate my body decides is right for itself. I trust my body and I let this issue go." I want to adopt that attitude also.I did flex for awhile and I made a rough plan ahead for my meals and then if I did use my bonus points I felt I was still on my plan.If I was going out or had special plan I would plan to use my bonus points.

mezmerize-Good to hear how well things went for you and your surgery.Great job following your plan even as you recover[sure that would have signaled me to comfort myself with food all through recovery].

gahundy-Welcome if I had not already said,you are doing a great job getting started and working on your cards!

BillBlueEyes-Congratulations 2.5 years is so great!I had to laugh at your quote from the book. “Cognitive Therapy teaches people how to solve problems, and dieters can have lots of problems" So true,one of my ww friends at work said "if you ever need an excuse not to follow your diet just ask Wendy she has an excuse for every occasion"-it was said in a joking manner and I was not offended becuse it is so true.

coastalsue-Hope you are feeling better,great job keeping up the exercise even when feeling under the weather.You posts are always inspirational.I thank you also for posting even when you don't get everything perfect,it helps me to hear others are struggling at times like me.

hbuchwald-Thanks for the update on day #14 getting ready to follow the plan.I appreciate the reminder to adjust my diet to my needs and to work foods I like in.I am attempting to modify the core plan to do just that[the official ww people would not approve so I won't tell them]Your question awhile back to me inspired me.It was if I had to pick a 3rd diet plan,not ww flex or core what would it be.I thought about that alot and I would have to say I loved the old fashion weight watchers that used exchanges.Like have 2 milk exchanges,5 protein exchanges ect..Richard Simmons had the deala meal like that and the ADA 1600 cal diet is like that.I am thinking about switching to this type in the future.

barbpos-I also have the unfair thoughts about sweets and find sweets to be my downfall.Thanks for your responses!

maryblu-Hello and thanks for the statements about sugar and sweets.

03-12-2008, 05:13 PM
HI! I've not read the posts yet but i wanted to sub in and get started.

My name is Nessa. I'm 48 (on Friday) and i've been active in the South Beach Forum. I was just introduced to Beck. I'm on Day 4.

I hope it's ok to just jump in.....

03-12-2008, 06:50 PM
gahundy - Sending lots of good luck wishes!

onebyone – Kudos on your responds cards!!

Wendylan – I so understand when TOM is rearing its ugly head! Some days I think it would best from my family and myself to be locked in my room until the ugliness is over! I’ve got meds and I take calcium pills to help combat this but sometimes it works sometimes not. I think I’ll look into those Puralin strips sounds like they could help retrain me when I’m at my weakest.

ladybugnessa – WELCOME!!

As for me did the 4 mile fast walk again only today I only jogged to the 1st mile. My right side under my rib was hurting to bad after that. Which made me very angry! I could only fast walk after that. (I wouldn’t say that was even that fast) I know I need time to heal and I should be glad I can do at least that but I’m so mad. I need to think more positive. Ok I did sweat so that is good and I actually liked working out! So I will think of these things. Thanks for reading my chatter. I believe I should go sit and ponder what is going on with me.

03-12-2008, 06:57 PM
hi Mezmerize. thanks for the welcome. I'm struggling to allow my body to heal. I am in an air cast with a 'stress fracture' of my left ankle. I was all excited to get the boot off today after 2 weeks. the doc just added FOUR MORE WEEKS to my boot wearing.... I hope you heal quickly, whatever the problem is.

03-12-2008, 08:52 PM
Thanks for the welcome everyone!

It already looks as if I'm no longer the
newbie of the group myself! <big smile>

Nessa, I, too, am on day 4 of Beck. And at first it
seemed silly, even trivial, to consider that "giving
myself credit" could possibly have anything to do with
a successful weight loss program..... that is until I realized
today, just how infrequently I ever do this for myself. I
downplay everything about me.

Criticism.... ah yes! We all have that one down, don't
we. And of course, that self-criticism was well deserved
in my case. I mean, I could rarely make a week OP
before skidding up to another..."Oh, I'll start again
tomorrow." That behavior has led me here, to where
I weigh 3 pounds shy of my highest PREGNANCY weight!

Geeze. Not a success story.

I've been reading the posts with LOTS of interest.
Don't mind me if I don't comment until I get to know
you all better. But I have to say, I've learned that
this behavioral and "new think" program seems to be
what's been lacking from my days.

The way that it's been for me lately, even the very thought of
planning my food, ugh! And actually sticking to such a plan,
even more unlikely.

So today, day 4, I am proud to give myself credit
for writing out the plan, and sticking to the plan,
and taking credit for the huge deal this obviously
is for me.

So nice to meet all of you! Thanks so much for your
honesty and for sharing your interesting lives and

Talk to you all soon.


03-13-2008, 01:39 AM
Hi there everyone,
Just checking in. I really get inspired by reading the posts on this list. I feel so busy lately and it is easy for some of the strategies to get away from me if I don’t focus on keeping them going (reading my cards…. Giving credit, etc..). Checking in here helps keep me in the game a lot!

Sue: I am glad you got to go swimming again and that you maintained your weight loss during your trip!

Bill: Wow-excellent work at the “lunch provided” meeting! There you go again-looking at that healthy food and thinking how great it looks even compared to what you brought. And then the corned beef versus the veggies…. Was there a time that you wouldn’t have believed that you would be thinking this way?

Mezmerize: I am so glad that you are feeling like you can exercise…those sweet potato fries sound delicious!

Gahundy: Hang in there with the sitting down while eating thing. I also like to read when I eat sometimes…I try not to since I really want to be mindful…there are times though….

Onebyone: Great responses! You might go to the store and get a five pound bag of something (rice, sugar, flour…) and carry it in a backpack for a morning …five lbs probably won’t feel like nothing then!

I know a few people that watch that Biggest Loser show. I cannot watch it for the very reasons you describe. Your response to the thoughts are very realistic. I cannot help but wonder how many of those people are able to keep the weight off after leaving the conditions under which they lost the weight? I can appreciate a reality show more than you know and completely understand getting hooked into watching stuff like that. I am glad that you vented and hope that you can find the right mindset for you to enjoy or give up the show. 

Wendylan: I have never heard of those strips that numb your tongue! Whatever works is what I say! I remember all of the “third diet” choices from times before. Nice to have so many options isn’t it?

Nessa-Welcome to the group! Jump on in and share whatever you want/need to! I look forward to getting to know you.

Seachild: It does feel silly sometimes to think about giving ourselves credit for things. It really is important though I think. Half the time, the self criticism ends up making small “bad stuff” bigger and then there isn’t any good on top of that since the good doesn’t get acknowledged much…. It doesn’t seem as silly now to me to try to be more conscious of giving myself pats on the back for all the big and little things I do for myself.

03-13-2008, 01:57 AM
Hello all,

this is great fun to have so many new folks and lively posters-Welcome to all!!

Ellen-A number of us had a hard time with learning to give ourselves credit-But learning to give myself some credit sure helps when I go into a tail spin and then want to overeat. Alot of my overeating is dealing with emotional upheavals and giving myself credit helps me get a more realistic pic of skills I do have versus only criticizing myself. Just keep working some of exercises and as it does really work-I actually hear my reasons from the advantage cards come to mind when I want to over eat. It has taken me much longer than the book suggests but I am building a foundation to lose and maintain the loss.

Welcome Ladybugness-Glad you joined us!!

mezmerize-Can really hear how important your running is for you-remain healthy-(PS I swam in spite of swollen glands)-I'll be out of town for 3 days and need to get the exercising in -I swear my mood is so much better when I swim. I guess it is don't get mad give yourself credit!! Thanks for the graphics tips-I am a bit of a computer newbie-Any tips on how to post pic here?

Wendylan thanks for the tip on the tongue numbing stuff-While it is pain to lose slowly-there is a benefit in that you are learning new habits which will help keep it off. I did the speedy Optifast a number of years ago ( long with my bros) we all have regain the the loss and about another 100 lbs each.

OnebyOne-everything is relative-would love to be only 250lbs-got another 60 to reach that-good new is that I did not reach 400 lbs. I watched biggest loser once and found it so painful that people worked so hard and were not successful if they didn't lose the most. It was a mean competiton. You are so right in that each body is different about the rate of losing weight. The long lasting success is in keeping it off permanetly.

Amy wish you luck in focusing and slowly eating your meal. I now really believe that it take 20 minutes to feel the food in the stomach and get a full feeling. To me that is the biggest benefit to eating slow-lets my stomach tell my mouth to stop.

BillBlueeyes-that was one enlighten lunch-Say are those blue eyes Irish eyes? what was your plan for losing the orginal 80 you have lost?

I did a bit of a sloppy day in preplanning and more importantly recording as I ate and now realized regettable ate too many cals-not the end of the world but I should have been keeping better track. I hope the hr of swimming will minimize the damage. I didn't eat more food just drink too much wine to push me over 1600 cals. Live and learn. A new day tomarrow to do better.

Hi Heidi- we seem to post at the same time and our replies get crossed up. Give yourself much credit for being a teacher and doing all those report cards-alway hard to do that stuff. Ran my tutoring group today and they were rebellious -did not want to work-just go outside for play-tough day.


03-13-2008, 02:07 AM
coastalsue - Hi do you recall when your typing to go to advanced. Well do that again and there is paper clip next to the right of the smiley face. Click that and it will ask you where you want to get your picture from. Be it a URL or from your computer. If computer make sure your picture is the requied size. I can't recall the size right now I think it's like 500 X 500. In order to get the picture to post from your computer just click the browes button (It will show after you click that paper clip) then find the picture your looking for and double click that. Now if the picture is the right size you will see it's name in the second box from the bottom and a box to the right that states upload. Click that and your finished. you can resize your image with any photo editing software.
The url one I never had done but I just think you'd put the Web sites addy down along with the link of the picture. I'd have to try and see. I hope you understood my directions.

03-13-2008, 05:05 AM
:welcome: Nessa (laydbugnessa) :welcome:

Welcome to the Beck Diet Solution Discussion Group, Support Group, Diet Coach Group.

And, in case you didn't get this when you joined 3FatChicks 3 years ago, :wel3fc:

Yep, jump right in. Always nice to welcome an experienced 3FC person.

By the by, how did you find us over here from South Beach?

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations

03-13-2008, 06:45 AM
Diet Coaches - Another day, another day. "Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, brah!...Lala how the life goes on..." CREDIT moi.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for the hour of swimming and getting right back on track. Your positive attitude always helps me to think positively.

Yep, my blue eyes are about a quarter Irish; my family always identified as being Irish. My only plan 2.5 years ago was to switch from continuous grazing to eating like I would be willing to live with forever. Fortunately, that worked for me, since I'm not really drawn to doing a "diet" since that word, for me, conjurs up the image of my older sister back in the '50s struggling with little success when eating zwiebacks toast with a slice of cucumber for lunch and cheeseburgers with fry's in the evenings. Subsequently, I've read some nutrition books that suggest a similar strategy, so mine was a pretty normal journey.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for keeping on keeping on, e.g. "(reading my cards…. Giving credit, etc..)." It's the daily efforts that deserve our rewards. Hope you're surviving the report cards.

wendy (wendylan) - Sending support for your work on Program-day 13, Overcoming Cravings. I really like the simplicity of Beck's statement, To reduce the intensity and frequency of cravings, you have to stop giving in to them.

Mez (mezmerize) – Yeah sweet potato fries!!!! Sweet potatoes were a food I hated until I started my healthy lifestyle journey; now I love them. Had them for dinner last night with just a little Asian "5 spices." Yummy. Kudos for the 4 mi tape again - you’re on a roll.

onebyone – Your neat Response Cards are helpful to me. I particularly like #1 where you are responsible for following your plan and your body is responsible for losing weight. Bummer about the emotional impact of watching the game show The Biggest Loser. Thanks for the reminder, "It's not Real Life."

amy (gahundy) – Good luck on Program-day 3, Eat Sitting Down. It's just amazing how often food just pops into the mouth while wandering about.

Ellen (SeaChild) – Big Kudos for giving yourself credit. Boy was that ever hard at first for me. I had a zillion Sabotaging Thought Beck blinding me from being aware of what I was accomplishing, thus setting myself up for a downfall. onebyone captured that well in her description above that includes I've lost nothing.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) – Kudos for marching forward to Program-Day 4. Ouch for the 'stress fracture.' Double Ouch for "FOUR MORE WEEKS".

Readers – "… For example, have you ever strayed from a diet for any of the following reasons:
• You finished all of the food on your plate but didn’t feel satisfied. ..." Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-13-2008, 08:24 AM
I'm so looking forward to my doctors apointment today. I'm getting these staples out! I just hope it's not to painful. As they are really starting to hurt. I'm once again back on track to not pop something into my mouth while standing. I know that if I let it slip even once I'll be a mindless food popping zombie and it takes me awhile to get back on track.

BillBlueEyes - I always love starting my day with a song!

03-13-2008, 08:44 AM
By the by, how did you find us over here from South Beach?

:hi: BillBlueEyes I was directed to you by Barbpos who is a friend of mine from my South Beach board (not the SBD board here) She's t he one who turned me on to BECK and it makes sense to me.

mezmerize good luck getting the staples out!

coastalsue thanks for the welcome.

hbuchwald thanks I look forward to being a part of this community as well.

SeaChild let's talk about giving myself credit... I put this day off for several days. I'm still struggling with it and not even sure if I should MOVE to day 5 today or not. I can't see how giving myself credit for doing stuff I've already been doing for nearly 2 years (and that I see as breathing in terms of doing it--it's automatic) is important. So I can berate myself for eating the cheez-it's yestersday (I rarely go off plan but I did yesterday BY CHOICE....) or eating that wedge of RF LC cheese standing up (totally forgot about sitting down) but to give myself credit for eating dinner at the table seems ludicrious to me.

so I need to work on 'give myself credit-- day 4

I guess then the question is... if i'm not accomplished at Day 4... should I MOVE ON to day 5 (which is also going to be a HUGE issue for me) or should i continue to work on Day 4.

03-13-2008, 10:12 AM
Ladybug, we could all beat ourselves up for things we do every day. With CBT, (at least my understanding is) if we give ourselves credit we will stop negative self talk and focus on the positive things we do in life. Congratulations for losing 51.8 pounds. (Whether you did it last year, two years ago or even the past three months. you did it. Others have tried and failed.
Give yourself credit you did it.
Also give yourself credit for being more aware to even ask the question if you should move on to day 5.
About those Cheeze-its, give yourself credit for all the healthy stuff you ate yesterday. Instead of focusing on the things you weren't pleased with. Being aware is such a huge step. Just my opinion.
Give yourself credit that you have stuck with South Beach Since May 1, 2006. Being proud of yourself is okay. I think we were brought up to focus on the negative. Now it's time to turn it around.
Give yourself credit you have an awesome friend like Barbpos who cared enough about you to tell you about Beck.....
Give yourself credit you came here and posted.
Wow I don't even know you and I can see these reasons to give yourself credit, I am sure there are so many more....
You are doing awesome.
I hope this is not offensive to you, it is just what came to mind when I read your post.

03-13-2008, 10:22 AM
oh ANNCAN I could hug you. My whole board works with me on giving myself credit...i don't give myself credit. enough for anything.

03-13-2008, 10:26 AM
Hi all,

Day 26 and going strong. Yesterday was about identifying self-sabotaging thoughts. I really need to spend some time with this one, which I haven't yet done. So, to continue the theme, I'm trying to decide if I should stay with the day 25 exercise for a while or move on to day 26.

Nessa: great to have you here. I'm so glad that Beck is valuable for you, too. I think this forum is a great place for focused support with the Beck tools and concepts.

I keep coming back to day 4. Seems I can give myself credit....but very quickly follow it with a "yes, but" in one that came up yesterday, "yeah me for all the effort I'm putting in to staying on track"....YES, BUT "it shouldn't take so much work; I have to do this effortlessly for it to be worthy of credit".

BBEyes: I understand avoiding the "diet" word and mentality. This is not a's about finding a healthy approach to eating healthily for the long term. I've actually decided lately that I really like cottage cheese, as an easy, tasty (to me), snack, in those little pre-packaged 1/2 cups....unfortunatley, I still have diet associations with the stuff, that I've been working on letting go of.

Mez: I hope the staple removal goes well. Congrats on staying so on track and exercising, even with health challenges.

03-13-2008, 11:20 AM
Onebyone: You're doing great. I love your honesty and directness in tackling your roadblocks.

I watch Bigger Loser occasionally, but I really have problems with it too. You're right, the people on the show are losing weight under extreme conditions of diet and exercise. It's not realistic, probably not healthy in terms of deprivation and stress on their bodies, and does not set the stage for long-term real life continuation of weight loss or maintainence.

Most of us have probably been on WW at some point, or other reasonable approaches, which tell us that healthy, reasonable weight loss should average about 1.5 pounds per week at best when we have a lot to lose, and less than that when we are close to goal. And that weight loss is uneven -- expect weeks with no loss or even gains, even while totally on track. This is the yardstick that makes sense to use for weightloss, not the unrealistic, unhealthy results in Biggest Loser.

Seachild -- welcome... congrats for getting here, working with Beck, and planning your food.

03-13-2008, 11:29 AM
hi everyone! once again, i don't have nearly enough time to do justice to everyone's posts, or to properly say hello and welcome to the new folks - but wanted to drop in just for a little because i miss this board when i can't get to it!

also struggling with TOM and trying to figure out how my stomach suddenly turned into a bottomless pit. really craving salt, sugar, and fat, and it feels like it's constant - three days in a row now. we're driving to DC for the weekend for an irish music festival, hopefully that'll be a wonderful time with my sweet little family, and will distract me from thoughts of chocolate and candy and chicken wings.

funny you should mention the biggest loser! i was just reading a blog by a former contestant, and it really turned me off to the show. all that stuff about having a full-time nutritionist, psychologist, etc. appears to be PR from NBC. those folks are half-starved, dehydrated, and are expected to have colonics (yes, you read that right) to increase the dramatic weight loss. i wouldn't treat an animal like that. reminds me of something my mom said once - it's not about fast weight loss. anyone can lose huge amounts of weight very quickly, if you don't care what kind of weight it is. all you need is a chainsaw.

so nessa, ann, amy, ellen, anyone else who's brand new (apologies!) welcome! i try to post as often as i can because this is absolutely the most wonderful, supportive, neat group i've found. right now though i'm spinning far too many plates and am not actively working Beck or my YOAD diet plan. i'm just maintaining my health and fitness until i'm able to focus. welcome welcome!

03-13-2008, 01:52 PM
ladybugnessa – I had my gallbladder removed on the 3rd. As for me I didn’t move on until I had that step in my head. You know what I mean? IMO I think one can take as much time as they need for each step to sink in.

barbpos – I stopped watching the The Biggest Loser after the 1st season. Which is the one that inspired me. I’ve read other post on what is going on and I don’t like how they are tricking to gain or lose a certain week. I know it’s a game but I liked when each week someone actually tired to lose fat. IMO it seemed more real.

kuhljeanie – An Irish music fest sounds like it will be lots of fun! Sending Will Power Dust to help you stay strong!:dust:

Well the staples didn’t hurt one bit coming out! My doctor left one in my belly he said I leaving that in because you are taking longer to heal here (above my belly button) because that gallstone was so big and I had a hard time getting it out. Maybe I read him wrong but it seemed to me he thought I planned that . HA! I told him about my workouts and that jogging hurt. He said I shouldn’t be jogging. I asked about abs workout and he said 4 weeks for that. (at least) Nothing on it’s great your working out or anything. My sisters went to him and I swear it is not the same person. They said he takes lots of time talking and explaining things to them and such. With me I he keeps it short as possible. :?:My sister said he just got back from Iraq so maybe that is it. I see nothing of halo they painted. I get this staple out wed. TOM is on it’s way maybe that is why I’m so grumpy. I think an Irish festival would be fun how about swinging by Iowa and picking me up kuhljeanie.;)

03-13-2008, 03:09 PM
Mezmerize I had my gall bladder out in April 2006. best thing I ever did.

give yourself time to heal..... if you are just having the staples out you need to take it easy.

besides you make me feel bad that i'm doing NOTHING with my foot in this boot....

oh i came to give myself CREDIT (i'm truly still working that day) for NOT having pancakes with butter and syrup at the diner like I wanted and instead having salad and gyro fillings...

03-13-2008, 06:21 PM
Coaches: Oh well, I didn't get here as early as I had planned to today. Oh well, I had a great visit with a friend at a coffee shop and we shared a lunch sandwich and I had a cookie. All accounted for and okay with my foodplan. Oh well I wasn't perfect today.

I get "Oh well".

I do deserve major credit though! After much trepidation yesterday over today's Beck weigh-in and the filling in of the graph in the book I got on the scale to discover I am down 3.8lbs. Wow. I am thrilled. Truthfully, every night before I go to bed I hop on the scale just to see what it says and every night this past week it hasn't said 260 like I've expected it to say every night. And every morning it doesn't say 260 like I think it will. Oh well I am wrong about what I think I weigh. I think I am hanging onto the 260# in my head cause admitting this is working and admitting that my weight is coming down is scary. I know I know it should be fun (and a part of me is so freakin' excited that I might be onto something with the Beck book and this group and everything) and the other part of me says it's not real, you'll gain it all back in a night (hence the focus on the scale at night I think and what's happened overnight). I tell you, I am holding my breath to see less than 248. That'll be real for me. And then under 240? I haven't been there in 5 years, just after the tail end of a diet that had me getting B vitamin injections daily into the stomach and the thighs, (enough injections to build up scar tissue there), and losing my hair, but I lost 99 lbs and hit a solid roadblock and so I was 173, and stalled. I stayed there for a day maybe? Long enough to buy a sexy long black vinyl coat that I wore once and grew out of immediately. It hangs, waiting for me, in my front closet. I was right back on the road to 248-262 where I have resided for 5 years and where I have now accumlated blood pressure medication... and of course I am 5 years older.

So kudos for the weight coming off. Kudos for my decision to do this already and to put myself into the Beck program and to let her tell me what to do! A major feat of aquiescence on my part; tough nut am I.

On this note I have been wrestling with the Beck program and the WW points program which is my plan of choice and reconciling the two. They seemed at odds and I've decided to do as Beck says and pre-plan and follow as best I can my plan using the point system that I make the night before and not rely on my weekly flex points to make up for unplanned choices during the day. Beck says we're to deal with eating impulsively and so I give myself to her program and will do this for the remainder of the book and then re-assess if this is the way for me. After being overweight since the age of 8, 36 years now, I have proven I don't have the skills to be thin over-time. Let's try something new I say! Give me what I need to maintain the loss I have now and to get to a healthy weight and maintain that for 5 years and beyond.

And a non-weight related credit to MOI for getting a raise! I got a (surprise) $1.00/hr raise at my ceramics job at the art school. Wow!:carrot:

wendylan I usually get a major sugar craving before TOM, about a week before, and during it I want big amounts of rare meat. Those are my cravings. What I really dislike is how bloated I get. Two weeks before I will puff up. That lasts a few days. Then during OMG I swear I walk around so swollen and sore. Really, two weeks out of the month I cannot trust the scale. It's just wrong and I practice detachment from the numbers I see.
Sorry to hear you too suffer. Good thing is: this too shall pass.

ladybugnessa Welcome to the Beck program and all of us! :hug:
My thoughts on moving forward are to go to the next day's work when you feel ready. Just don't get caught up in perfectionism! That's a huge problem for me. Especially since I am so overly self-critical I may never feel I have done something good enough or well enough to deserve to move on. I'd just be aware of this angle if you are one such as I. So for me, I made myself go ahead. I continue to work the previous ideas as I move forward. If I get too hung up, I will go back. I have my whole life to get it right. I make a mental note, and have lots of written comments in my workbook where those trouble spots are.

mezmerize You sound frustrated with your body, are you? Sorry about the dr. visit being so unsatisfying. At least your staple is coming out in less than a week:)

SeaChild I was just like you and couldn't stick to my foodplan no way no how. I kept getting on track, losing a bit, then re-gaining it all. I've really been trying to lose weight (again... finally got the energy and desire to focus on it again) for a couple of years and then I was really sabotaging my progress. Since trying Beck I have stuck to the foodplan. I don't know why, I don't know how, but I am doing it. I think the structure of her plan with my foodplan really works for me. It gives me goals and focus and helps me realize it isn't all or nothing and that things are happening and I am getting somewhere. And my weight is reflecting that. I'm changing and my weight is changing.
So today, day 4, I am proud to give myself credit
for writing out the plan, and sticking to the plan,
and taking credit for the huge deal this obviously
is for me. Kudos to you, and me, and all of us who are doing this. IT'S A BIG DEAL.

hbuchwald Like you I really have to keep this Beck stuff at the front of my mind or I start to slack off. Kudos for coming back to it! And for posting even though you're busy... I too love the group discussion here and it helps a lot.

coastalsue Yes everything is relative. I remember a woman once telling me the story that as she exited a car some guy walking by said to her "Boy are you fat." She was about 400lbs. He had NO IDEA she had already lost close to 100lbs and was now able to get in and out of a car. A big deal in her life. To her credit (and I'll never forget it) she said to him, "Yep, and you're black. Have a nice day." She said to me, "Talk about stating the obvious." He had no snappy comeback. She said to me, yeah so? Of course I am fat. So? Indeed. He had no idea where she was on her journey. And she forgave him his ignorance and didn't dwell on his comment, taking it at face value only and not as a judgment of who she was. Kind of like an "Oh Well" moment of sorts. I aspire to feel like that in a situation like that.

BillBlueEyes My only plan 2.5 years ago was to switch from continuous grazing to eating like I would be willing to live with forever. This is so interesting. You deserve mucho kudos for creating a plan for yourself that was true to yourself from the beginning. I applaud you for that and wish the same for myself eventually. I'd like to ask how long were you overweight and how overweight were you?

AnnCan1111 Welcome to the group! I hope you gave yourself credit for sending good vibes to someone on this thread! If not, kudos to you:)

barbpos Hello! Thanks for echoing my biggest loser show feelings. As for tackling the "yes buts" maybe you need to write an official response card to counter that reflexive action? This is EXACTLY the kind of thing cognitive behaviour therapy was built for. It's changing a habitual thought pattern.

Maybe you could say "Yes. No if's ands or buts allowed." Or something like that. "I say yes and mean it." or " I take credit unconditionally." "I deserve to take credit for ______." For a very long time I've been working with one affirmation only. " I approve of myself." For me, this seems to cover everything! (Hope this wasn't off topic? Was it? I am rambling here...)

kuhljeanie I so wish I was going to an Irish Festival! It should be a blast! I am looking forward to seeing Wayne Newton next Wednesday night. It's a 5 hour drive from me to the casino he's playing at and I am not even a fan! I just made a decision to see the famous showmen of our time before more of them die and see why they got that rep. How could I pass up Wayne?? I can't! I am sure his show will inspire many an artwork from me!

Thank goodness it's March Break so I could spend the time I needed to write this email! Yay for holidays.
Hello to all you lurkers!
Have a great evening!

03-13-2008, 07:37 PM
Wow these posts are moving right along!I had a weigh in today at ww meeting and gained 0.8 pound.I seemed okay with it today and a few others in the group had a gain also.I stayed on plan today which was a feat in itself.I was at water fitness on Tuesday but only that day due to the kids having the flu,first me,then my older son and now my younger son.Hope my husband doesn't get it.Made some healthy chicken salad for dinner,finding out I don't have to order takeout when I want a quick meal.I am trying to keep quick things on hand,it will help my wallet also. thanks wendy

03-13-2008, 09:29 PM
OnebyOne: I don’t watch much TV, but I especially can not watch competitive type reality shows like the Biggest Loser. Wow. They all seem to bring out the worst qualities in human nature and I’m amazed that the audiences seem to just love seeing other people humiliated , squashed, and eliminated. Painful! From what I’ve heard from others I know who do watch it, TBL also seems to disparage a slow steady weight loss, which is what I’m aiming for, maybe for the first time in my life. I am seeking support for this choice. I want to kick up my heels if I lose “only two pounds”, not be brought to tears. (Even though like you… the “real” me wants that big drop. I mean, please … we stayed on the plan for a whole week, didn’t we?) I’ve given up on so many diets because I just wasn’t losing fast enough! Time to change.

Coastal Sue…where do you live, if you don’t mind me asking? I live on the coast too, but we won’t be swimming for a while! <smile> I’m jealous girl!

Mez… what walking program do you do? I do them too.

Bill…. Thanks for the welcome and the total inspiration and thanks for sticking around as a coach!! I would like to follow in your footsteps some day. I am also aware of the National Weight Loss Registry and would love to be able to add my own story some day in the future.

I had intended to answer your question about how I got “here”. I was on another similar diet site for a couple of months, but everyone there was on the same weight loss program, and the site had a military bent which I couldn’t relate to. Also many people seemed harsh towards some newbies that I felt was excessive. They wouldn’t tolerate slips and asked people to leave, which made me feel uncomfortable. I slipped! A lot! So I felt I couldn’t be very honest.

But I loved the format, and a lot of the people I met there were great; I just didn’t find much interest in Beck. Because of my seeming inability to stick to a diet for more than a few days at time, I instantly found reasons for hope in Beck. I did a search and checked out a couple of other sites, but this one is so much like the format of the group I started with and mostly enjoyed, and you guys seem actually to be working on and talking about the Beck program! Just what I was hoping to find.

Glad you’re all here. <smile>

Heidi.. thanks for your comments. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Whether you give yourself credit or berate yourself… you do tend become what you focus on. I like myself better when I lightly dismiss what I used to negatively dwell on.

Nessa…Today I did not do too well with eating slowly or mindfully. But I’m going to move on to day 6, and concentrate on mindful eating tomorrow as well.

I eat and read. And I tend to wolf my food. It’s a family trait. (And none of us are very thin!) It just seems maddening to me…to stretch out a meal!

Yikes. Do I seem rebellious over each of these new behaviors? I’m a dyed in the wool self-saboteur. But I am here to change!

Thanks for listening and sharing everybody! Have a great tomorrow!


03-13-2008, 09:32 PM
i'm almost always online when i eat... a bad bad habit.

03-13-2008, 09:37 PM
Wow. These new posts weren't here when I started writing
my last one.

Onebyone...thanks for your very encouraging words! I have gained and
lost the same 20 lbs for three years now. I'm ready too!

AND I want to take credit for losing 3 lbs at my WI! LOL

03-14-2008, 12:01 AM
Hi there everyone,

I really have to get back to doing those blasted report cards but I must check in with my “peeps”! 

I agree that taking whatever amount of time needed per day of Beck is time well spent. Several of us have finished the book/program but are rereading it and taking turns summarizing the chapter and sharing a perspective or two about it. It takes time and revisiting. It has definitely taken me longer than the 42 days of the book’s plan to get all this stuff down and I still want to revisit it all on an ongoing basis. Review is always good and so is going at whatever pace we need to.

Onebyone: I had forgotten my distrust of myself staying on this program when I began but I definitely experienced it. Not sure when exactly it went away but probably since I have been focusing on the positive stuff so much, the negative got pushed out (overall….).

Sue: Great perspective on eating a bit more than is not the end of the world! You really are sounding like your lifestyle is changing!

Bill: Now I have that song in my head! I have the same resistance to the word “diet”. When I first got Beck’s book, in fact, I had to decide quickly that I would use the words “intentional eating” instead of diet….it is used so much in the book, beginning with the title of course. I really do look at this as “taking care of myself” versus being on a diet.

Mez: I am sorry that the doc was not in the same form as he has been for your sisters. That bites! I am glad that the staple removal went smoothly…….keep on healing!

Off to work now… until tomorrow, Heidi

03-14-2008, 03:58 AM
Hey Beck Buddies-

Our computer is having alot of problems-tried a new modem but think more serious problems are here. May not post until next week-stay healthy and I'll get back later.


03-14-2008, 05:44 AM
:welcome: AnnCan1111 :welcome:

Welcome to the Beck Diet Solution Discussion Group, Support Group, Diet Coach Group.

And, in case you didn't get this when you joined 3FatChicks 2 months ago, :wel3fc:

Are you arriving from the South Beach board or just coincidently at the same time?

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations

03-14-2008, 07:44 AM
Diet Coaches – Last night I stopped eating my (large) pork chop at dinner, saving the rest for lunches. That’s noteworthy since eating only part of a home served meal is new for me and still a bit rare. CREDIT moi.

I’m headed out for a conference all weekend. It just boggles my mind that I’m already thinking about the food. Even as I type this, Sabotaging Thoughts are swirling in my head about all the food - six meals of buffet style abundance and continuous snacks. The opportunity to stay on plan is available as both healthy and unhealthy choices will be available. There will likely be some congenial social pressure of the sort that has tripped me in the past, e.g. “You’ve just got to try the blueberry pancakes with sausages.” I commit to: baby carrots for car snacks, selecting meals within my food budget, having single servings (except soups and salads), limiting dessert to dinners only, and having the same number of between meal snacks as normal (3 or 4). I’ll report back.

Will be off-web Saturday and Sunday morning; see you guys Monday. Have a nice weekend.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Waving through cyber space even if you can't see it. Hope you are swimming today as we face snow here.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - LOL at "Now I have that song in my head!" Me too. Earworm all day. And I had to blame myself for it. Good luck with your report cards.

wendy (wendylan) - Ouch for the family flu. Kudos for being OK with your weigh in and for staying on track. Don't you just love it when doing the right thing saves money.

Jean (kuhljeanie) – Enjoy your Great Big Sea weekend. Safe driving.

Mez (mezmerize) - Yeah that you're down to one staple. Ouch that your doctor has limited your exercise. Do you have an exercise plan that lives within his restrictions?

barbpos – Thanks for raising the "yes, but" issue. Boy, am I capable of doing that to negate the benefit of giving myself credit. I also am slow to give up the thought that it should be effortless. Kudos for recognizing and facing this.

onebyone – Congrats on the pounds down and the pay up; may both keep moving in those directions. Kudos for coming to a decision on dealing with your WW points. I share your Sabotaging Thoughts that the weight might all come back overnight. Thanks for reminding me that I need to keep using my Believe It Card. My own weight had accumulated over the last 20 years, adding faster toward the end. Carrying 81 extra pounds was a lot; I tried the old "I carry it well" for about 40 pounds but as my middle expanded that stopped working. I looked fat.

Ellen (SeaChild) - Feel comfortable bringing rebellious thoughts around here. You'll find lots of company, LOL. And thanks for the kind words. You remind me that I'm here because I'm still trying to get it about food - still trying to learn to think like a thin person. Am slowly trying to give up the notion that I should be able to eat anything in any quantity. Am working toward the tooth brushing model. I brush. I NEVER think about brushing all day long except after meals, and then I don't think about it, I just brush. I don't negotiate with myself to brush or not. LOL, let me try this here on your space. CREDIT moi for brushing my teeth. [Boy did that feel weird.]

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Ouch for operating in a foot cast. Kudos for discussing your difficulty in giving yourself credit. BIG Kudos for giving yourself credit. One credit is sufficient to complete the check list for Program-day 4 and to move on. My own criteria was simply the ability to complete the check list. I dawdled on several chapters, e.g. hunger day, until I could check off that I had done the exercise once. I judged that the desire to wait until I met my own unreasonable expectations of completion was just another Sabotaging Thought.

AnnCan1111 - It's good for me to be reminded, "if we give ourselves credit we will stop negative self talk and focus on the positive things we do in life." Thanks.

Friday Readers – “… For example, have you ever strayed from a diet for any of the following reasons:
• You felt upset and thought that eating would make you feel better. … ” Beck, pg 21.

Saturday Readers – “… For example, have you ever strayed from a diet for any of the following reasons:
• You were too tempted by the sight of food when shopping at the supermarket. ...” Beck, pg 21.

Sunday Readers – “… For example, have you ever strayed from a diet for any of the following reasons:
• You were too tired to cook, so you opted for fast food instead. ...” Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-14-2008, 08:37 AM
Good Morning Everyone.

BBE have a GREAT weekend. enjoy the conference

oh Sue I was just getting to know you! hurry back!

I have opted to move to day 5 today as yesterday I worked hard at giving myself credit and part of it was the fear of "eat slowly and mindfully" looming up ahead.

I discovered this morning that I ate my egg and v8 while thinking about it. and it's a very uncomfortable feeling. I don't like it. too much work.

Since today is my birthday and off plan food will abound (MY CHOICE TO BE OFF MY PLAN TODAY) I will enjoy my day and spend ALL WEEKEND working days 4 and 5.

I found that reading my reasons for losing weight (which is my computer wallpaper at work and at home) OUT LOUD makes it more real for me.

03-14-2008, 08:39 AM
*** Cammie enters thread, head bowed. She looks around ***

Humbly begging to return Bill and crew. I hope that's okay with everyone...

I've been MIA. And as I'm sure you can guess, I've got more weight to lose now than I did before I left. No surprise there.

Yesterday I decided to pick up Beck and start from the beginning AGAIN. I'm determined to make it stick this time. And keep re-reading as many times as I need to.

I hope that's okay with everyone. I see some familiar faces and lots of new ones working the plan, so I'm here to give it another go!

03-14-2008, 08:56 AM
A very good morning to you my coaches!

Today's focus is using the "unfairness" excuse to eat. Been there done that. Again and again. I get very resentful sometimes. And then that morphs into rebellion. And that expresses itself as a "I'll show you. You're not going to tell me what to do with my :tantrum: life!" And no one has even had to say a word. In hindsight I always wonder who I am fighting against? Just who is feeling my wrath? No one that I can tell. In the end, after giving in, I feel bad and I feel my own self hatred for failing. Yuk! NO MORE.

BillBlueEyes I send you buckets of determination to stick to your plan in the face of all those choices this weekend!:lifter: You can do it. You've proven that to yourself over and over. Hope your conference is productive and that you can enjoy some of the perks of getting away.

coastalsue Sorry to read your computer is sick. I look forward to your next post!

hbuchwald Wow that's very hopeful that you noticed you no longer question staying on this program. That says a lot. I hope I get there too... in time I guess. Thanks for sharing that.

SeaChild Congrats on your loss. Great! Happy to see you're another rebel just like me. I just had to throw in the towel on this food thing and surrender to Beck. I've had it fighting food and my weight and trying to stay on track. I just wasn't getting anywhere even though I found a good foodplan and I started exercising, everything you are supposed to do, and then I'd have bouts of uncontrolled binging and *poof* weight's back. I've done this for two years now. I've had lots of insight which just didn't seem to matter faced with Food X sometimes. My behaviour baffled me. I really needed a new approach. There's enough in this program to keep me busy and it's making a difference. Hope you find it as helpful.

wendylan Congrats on staying on plan in the face of a gain. I hope you don't get sick with that awful flu! There have been some really tough bugs around here this winter.

Hello to ladybugnessa, kuhljeanie, mezmerize, AnnCan1111, and barbpos and all others who may be lurking or who I missed! TGIF

03-14-2008, 09:26 AM
Bill I am not sure where I fit in yet. I was thinking of doing slimfast, because I am on vacation quite often so it may work better for me, (still unsure). Thank you for your brushing teeth comment, it was an Aha moment for me. I just need to do this healthy eating as I brush my teeth each day. No excuse, I wouldn't go without brushing my teeth. I too had that song in my head all day. Good luck with your conference.

Sue - Wow, it would be so nice to be swimming. I find it relaxing, it is a good workout for me. I wonder why I don't do it more often.

Heidi - Wow, I have noticed you are one busy organized lady. You sure are making this work. Great job.

wendy - Your posts speak to me...thank you.

Jean – Enjoy seeing Great Big Sea. I have seen them a few times. I really enjoyed it.

mezmerize - Wow, I can't imagine exercising with a staple in my stomach. You are one tough cookie (meant in a positive way)

barbpos – I am such a yes, but person. Thank you for making me aware of this.

onebyone – When I read your posts it sounds like what I am thinking. Thank you for making me ponder thoughts I was avoiding.

Ellen - I am seeing a trend here, as I read you post I see I am thinking these things....I guess that is why Beck could write a book like this. We all can identify with each other....funny it took me this long to realize that.

ladybugnessa - Thank you so much for your hug yesterday, I really needed one. Happy Birthday to you. Enjoy your day

Cammie, credit you for coming back and rereading Beck. I know you will do this.

Maryblu, Hello to you, maybe you haven't posted because you got sick after starting your car in your nightie in the cold weather....joking. I read you are busy.


03-14-2008, 09:30 AM
I crossed posts with you. Good Morning
Good luck with Day 23 Overcome Feelings of Unfairness I truly believe this is a great day to master for all aspects of life for me.
Have a great day.

03-14-2008, 09:46 AM
Hey ANNCAN do you really think in your heart of hearts that SLIMFAST is a healthy plan that can be maintined forever?

03-14-2008, 10:09 AM
oh my goodness... alot of posting activity since i last posted. i don't think that i can address everyone so this will be a general shout out to everybody!!!
first off--welcome to fellow newbies! i am so glad to see this group expanding, it really re-emphasizes that this program is a good idea.
to all--everybody is doing great! you all deserve credit for posting even if you don't feel like you have done anything else right, trust me, you are all an inspiration to me.
my take on TBL--if the producers of that show wanted to have a REAL contest, they would show people at home, dealing with their everyday lives and how they are loosing weight. the fact is anybody can loose weight if they have 24 hours a day to spend just on that. here in the real world we have kids and jobs and have to do laundry and cook dinner and carpool and still find time for fitness and eating right. NOW That would be a show.
to me, "reality tv" is not real, except maybe some of the shows on the discovery channel and the learning channel.

as for my progress, well i am stuck on day 3, eating while sitting. i do eat while sitting, but i think the point is to not mulit-task while you are eating and i have a hard time with that. at lunch i like to read my book and at dinner i like to watch tv. oh and bfast is almost ALWAYS in the car. i will master this step this weekend and on monday i WILL move on to step 4, i'm pretty sure that is going to be a hard step too but i am not going to worry aobut today. today i am going to focus on eating while sitting and paying attention to what i am eating.
hope everyone has a great day!

03-14-2008, 10:14 AM
i do eat while sitting, but i think the point is to not mulit-task while you are eating and i have a hard time with that.

hey Amy. the goal is to EAT while sitting. multitasking on day 3 is allowed.

it's not till day FIVE that we work on the multitaksing. it's all about baby steps!

03-14-2008, 10:26 AM
ladybugnessa – :celebrate::bday2you::woo:Please don’t feel bad about me and workouts. I have a problem that I need work on and that is fitness. I HATE to workout. (well I use to really hate with a purple passion!) I started a Thread awhile back to help get me to once again love doing it. Lessofsarahtolove had one when I 1st logged on to 3FC’s many years ago. She helped me along and I lost 40lbs. Then gain it all back 3 time not only did I gain it back each time I stopped coming here. I stopped working out and once again hated the thought of it. It happen every time at the 200 mark. I didn’t know then as I do now that lots of people have this very block. I was afraid to ask years ago and now I’m so close to the 200 mark and I just want to hit below it so bad. I want to rid of this ugly feeling of no matter what I do I can’t get below 200. So please don’t let me discourage you in any way. I no longer allow myself to eat at the computer or standing. I do drink coffee.

onebyone - Congrats on the weight loss. I loved reading your post! Very inspiring! That coat sound really nice. (ok playing catchup so just read your last post) I feel that who am I fighting against? I’m also with you NO MORE!!! Raises Fist High In The Air and Shakes It!!!

wendylan – Sending well wishes to you and yours.

SeaChild – I have many Leslie Sansone but currently I’m doing Walk Slim 4 fast miles. It has markers for 1.2.3. miles it also came with 1 mile jog dvd. Which I haven’t tried. I used her Walk Away The Pounds to lose my 40lbs each time.

coastalsue – Backup your computer and hopefully you made a system restore disk. Use that if all else fails. But try and backup everything 1st.

BillBlueEyes – Kudos for planning ahead and saving part of your porkchop! Bill he never gave suggested a plan. Geez didn’t even think of that since what I was saying wasn’t hitting home with him. All I’ve read said walking is good for after this sort of surgery. I’m going to continue to walk and I’m going to call my regular doctor and see what she has to say. She is an amazing doctor! She actually sent congratulations on your WL cards to me when I use to weigh myself weekly at her office. She told me to stop in anytime since at that time I didn’t have a scale. I never knew she even checked my charts til I got my 1st card.

CammieCam – WELCOME BACK!!

AnnCan1111 – Non taken I love cookies! Welcome! As far as fitting in hang around lurk whatever and join when you are comfortable. There is a slimfast thread here you might also want to check that out. Not that I want you to ditch us. They might have some very helpful tips!

As for me trying to play catchup with this tread we are really moving along! AWESOME! I'm planning on walking once again doing the 4 walk w/o jogging. My DH is off today so will be running around town with him.

03-14-2008, 11:21 AM
I'm on day 6, Select a Coach, and since I'm here with the benefit of this boundless sea of able and in-process coaches, today seems easy. Most of all though, from this day's mental work, I must remember to be accountable. When I start to falter, I tend to abandon ship and drop from sight. (On that note: Welcome back CammieCam! <smile>)

Beck urges honesty as vital to this step. And this will matter more over time for me I'm sure. I wasn't always fully honest in the last group I was a part of, for fear of being ousted. The honesty here is refreshing and I'm encouraged to be real.

(Being honest with myself is sometimes the hardest of all. I mean, sometimes I won't get on the scale. Or if I do, I won't record the weight. Or I won't note a binge in my food journal. Or I'll say, I'm starting fresh tomorrow. The problem with all of that is that I'm not learning anything. It's just another form of denial. It's a fresh start at doing all the same old wrong or deluded things that keep me unsuccessful. )

This morning I focused on my breakfast. Mindful. And in that mindful state I noticed that in order to slow down my eating.... I looked for distractions! Eating with distractions wasn't the real problem. Needing distractions to slow down seemed really important... the food seemed to have too powerful an attraction for me. Clearly, food is way more important to me than I ever like to admit. I need to de-magnetize!!

Nessa... I agree with your perception that the slowed down eating feels like a lot of work. But I have to say I honestly did feel more satisfied and could actually have stopped before the food was gone...though I didn't. That's for another day! <smile>

Bill... Have fun! I'd love to say, hey it's not about the food...but for me it's always about the food too! LOL You made me laugh when reading your post today. Kudos Bill, on brushing your teeth! Stay strong.

Onebyone... it could have been me sitting typing at your PC earlier today! LOL.

You said:

I just wasn't getting anywhere even though I found a good foodplan and I started exercising, everything you are supposed to do, and then I'd have bouts of uncontrolled binging and *poof* weight's back. I've done this for two years now. I've had lots of insight which just didn't seem to matter faced with Food X sometimes. My behavior baffled me.

Me too. I felt I must have some dark psychological reasons for these seemingly crazy behaviors. But I've read that psychologically, we're not different. We just have a relationship with food, be it genetic or whatever, that keeps us eating and fat unless we really change behaviors and thinking! I'm willing to believe it, when I read these posts, so much like mine. If we want to be thin... we have to work at it. Change mindsets. Not easy for me.

Damn I just want to be normal. Maybe that's where some of our rebelliousness comes from.

I had to post early today, because my schedule is shifting around here. Sorry this is so long and sorry if I've missed comments to some of you! I'm still confused and in the process of learning to know everybody as individuals. I do relate to all of the posts! As you mention AnnCan (btw Welcome!) the similarities we share is certainly enough matierial to fill the Beck book! <smile>

Amy... I think what you're stuck on is not Day 3 Sitting while Eating. It sounds like you are dealing with what I've been struggling with ...Day 5... Slow and Mindful Eating. That multi-tasking while you're eating thing. As long as you're sitting... I think you can check Day 3 off your list and move on! <smile>

Talk to you all later... the weekend beckons. YAY!


03-14-2008, 11:49 AM
Hey Ellen! :) Sounds alot like me. When I need the support the most, I tend to drop out of sight, embarrassed and ashamed that I'm having such a hard time instead of asking for help and encouragement.

I've been struggling with binging for the past few months. It's gotten so that I couldn't even go a week without an episode. And of course those feeling of guilt, shame, anger, sadness, you name it. The hardest part was/is the feeling of being completely OUT of control. I called my mom and attempted to explain it to her, about how when the episodes happen, I feel like I'm not ME, like I'm being controlled my someone or something else, but she just didn't get it. She just sees that I've lost all this weight, so how could I possibly be struggling now. That's when I decided to go through the Beck book again, and come back here for support. I wanted to come back before I turned the 7 pounds I've gained into 10 or even 15 or 20.

I'm on Day 2, Pick a Reasonable Diet. I'm already on WW (more OFF than on these past few weeks) and I know it works so I'm sticking with it, with calorie counting as my backup. Ive gained, this I know, but I'm going to overcome my fear of getting on the scale at weigh in tomorrow, and just do it. This way I KNOW for sure what my weight is, as a new starting point and can work towards getting it down from there.

Creating the Advantages Response Card was pretty easy. Truth be told I cheated a little and used my old one. The reasons are still the same, I just rewrote them, and wrote new ones for reminders I can use around the house and at work.

I feel better already just typing that out. Makes me wonder what took me so long to come back!!

I'm gonna go back and read the thread and try to catch up as much as I can.

Have a good weekend! :)

03-14-2008, 12:36 PM
Mezmerize said:
Please don’t feel bad about me and workouts. I have a problem that I need work on and that is fitness. I HATE to workout. (well I use to really hate with a purple passion!) I started a Thread awhile back to help get me to once again love doing it. Lessofsarahtolove had one when I 1st logged on to 3FC’s many years ago. She helped me along and I lost 40lbs. Then gain it all back 3 time not only did I gain it back each time I stopped coming here. I stopped working out and once again hated the thought of it. It happen every time at the 200 mark. I didn’t know then as I do now that lots of people have this very block. I was afraid to ask years ago and now I’m so close to the 200 mark and I just want to hit below it so bad. I want to rid of this ugly feeling of no matter what I do I can’t get below 200. So please don’t let me discourage you in any way. I no longer allow myself to eat at the computer or standing. I do drink coffee.

oh girl I so get it! I HATED to move. I HATED to exercise. HATED IT. I finally found a gym that I love and discovered YOGA and a trainer I adore. then this stress fracture hit and i feel lost.

I know that the 200 pound mark for me is terrifying. I've been over 200 pounds for over 20 years.... just don't know how i'm going to deal with being in ONEderland.

Seachild said:
Nessa... I agree with your perception that the slowed down eating feels like a lot of work. But I have to say I honestly did feel more satisfied and could actually have stopped before the food was gone...though I didn't. That's for another day! <smile>

WORD! that's exactly what happened to me this morning. While i'm NOT ready to not have the computer on when i'm alone eating, I did take a bite, close my eyes.... savor the food and the flavors and enjoy it. I slowed down. I was mindful although i still had the computer going. it was different and YES i was full before I was finished and NO I did not stop at mildly full. that's not yet on my task of things to do.

03-14-2008, 01:03 PM
Ness and Ellen: i guess i read more into day 3 task than was there. you are right, i am eating while sitting. for this task that is all i need do. so i am officially moving on to day 4: give myself credit. that's a toughy!! i am not used to giving myself credit for much of anything. i am a perfectionist and since nothing i do is ever perfect, it's hard for me to take credit for what i did. well i guess making it through lunch is credit. i was going to have a salad but all the girls in theoffice wanted chinese, well i can't resist that but i did order broccoli chicken with steamed rice. no eggroll, no soup. normally i eat sesame chicken (which is fried) and fried rice, eggroll and soup with fried wontons. at least i am choosing to eat a healthier version of chinese food. so credit me for making a healthy lunch choice in the face of deep fried yumminess!!
i will come back and let everyone know how the rest of my day goes!

hope everyone else is having a good day
and cammie, when you feel like you can't face anyone, come here and we will help hold you up! we have all been there and will probably be there again. you are not alone!!

03-14-2008, 01:21 PM
CREDIT ME.... i did not have a second piece of birthday cake (my birthday my cake)....

03-14-2008, 10:35 PM
My dear, dear, Beckie friends,

Greetings, all...old friends and new. I, too, am excited about our team growing; I am seeing some really great wisdom from new members!

I have been pressed just to keep up with the posts, and not doing them justice. Speed reading kinda defeats the purpose of reading the posts and reflecting on them, yanno?

However......I say this with tongue in cheek, and those of you who know me know I hate playing it straight.....with CoastalSue and BillBE absent for the weekend...well, with the grownups being gone and feel kinda like the oldest daughter.......which I am, btw......anyhoo, please accept this in the playfull spirit intended.......and if my playfullness flops and offends, I will be pretty much absent for about two weeks anyway!

BillBe... "It just boggles my mind that I’m already thinking about the food." Yeah, me too......I know that drill. I have to say, though, it gets better. I can tell you that for the upcoming conference at which I am to present, I know I won't overeat or drink the day before, as that behavior seriously affects my sleep, and goodness knows, the way air travel and hotels dehydrate me, I can't afford to squander anything helpful that is in my control. That said, my annual professional conference coming up in May is 48 hours of really great buffets, at which I pig out every year. I remember in years past, in the old days, coaching new staff members on how to pace the eating...pacing, as if on a cruise, with the endless buffets.For many years, I have "had" to skip a breakfast or two, just to recover enough appetite to appreciate the next meal! I will report back how it goes......I don't feel the same excitement about it, actually. more excited about the pontoon rides around the impossibly clean lake with islands and great shoreline. And there is always the possibility that the conference itself will be could, I am being silly. It IS good.

SeaChild, I am so impressed! You nailed it!

"But I've read that psychologically, we're not different. We just have a relationship with food, be it genetic or whatever, that keeps us eating and fat unless we really change behaviors and thinking! I'm willing to believe it, when I read these posts, so much like mine. If we want to be thin... we have to work at it. Change mindsets. Not easy for me."

That is the Beck wisdom to a T. Beck works; we just have to DO IT! And she gives us the step-by-step-just-do-it tools. That is power; that is certainty. Now, the rebellious part of us, the part of us that just doesn't want to: for a day-- for a meal-- for a weekend-- that is another matter, but the Beck tools, the Beck CBT is no is the step-by-step-sure-thing that teaches us how to do it. That is so powerful.

I will be with you in spirit, and reading when I are all great, and the new wisdom from all of our newest team members is really awesome.

03-15-2008, 01:31 AM
Hello everyone,
Maryblu: you kill me... it is like the grownups are away! HA!

I am having a hard time keeping up with everyone too... but SO relate to what people are talking about.

Thanks BBE for the reminder of the toothbrushing analogy! I really am impressed with you being able to leave part of that porkchop.... and I will be thinking about you at the conference with all of the temptations around... you can do it! your plan sounds realistic and satisfying.

I am hoping to get a good, long bike ride in this weekend. I would like to do at least the 12 miles that I will do in the triathlon in August so I have a baseline time. DD will be at ski school and some friends are taking her with their daughter so I can have some mommy time (I am a single mom)...NICE!

CoastalSue: hello to you! HOpe your weather there is better than up here in Seattle area... RAIN!!!

No big challenges today..tomorrow is a pizza banquet for DD's basketball team. I will plan my food with that in mind.

Goodnight, Heidi

03-15-2008, 10:14 AM
Hello Coaches

As if to press the point to me, today's Beck topic on my to-do list is diminish discouragement. I weighed in yesterday morning at 252.6. And today, when I do my "official" weigh-in I am 254. I am down 1.2 this week, but not the 3+ that I had thought I would see.
diminish discouragement diminish discouragement diminish discouragement I'm puffy. I had restaurant food for dinner. I should have exercised more. I should have had more water... who knows? Who cares? To practice something from this week: Response Card#20 Oh, well. I don't like this but I'm going to accept it and move on....
And then there's the card before it
Response Card#19
Celebrate! I should celebrate every half-pound loss! I have two of them there half-pounders to w00t over! w00t!w00t!
And today's offical response card#21: Advice to a Friend
I know what I'd tell my friend: You're doing it! It's working! You'll see that number soon enough. Who cares how long this takes. The facts are you are losing the weight, you are staying on program (WOW THIS IS THE BEST PART OF IT ALL!) And all this effort is worth it. Keep going. This is all working.

Other than this stuff, I have drawing homework to deal with over the weekend. I've got my grocery list and I am going shopping soon. That's about it and that's enough. My March break is almost done:cry: but I've got a long weekend to look forward too next weekend so it ain't all bad Oh and a trip to see Wayne Newton mid week! haha! Gee. Life is good.

All the best to those who read this:coffee:

03-15-2008, 10:32 AM
Good Morning my Beck Friends....

I am hanging my head in shame. I totally and completely lost all my principles this morning. totally forgot... sat down and did NOT eat mindfully or slowly at ALL!

my plan for weekends is to just work on the prior weeks days.... as an ADHD person, weekends without a routine are difficult for me and i fear my new stuff will suffer so I have to practice it.

btw.... yesterday was bad for me food wise by choice. I did have a choice. I choose to eat birthday cake and have a full enjoyed meal at the japanesse steak house to celebrate my birthday.

BUT CREDIT MOI I came home and did not have MORE birthday cake (i had already had 3 pieces) and I said NO to myself. AND I did NOT have birthday cake for breakfast which i would have done in past lives..... i made my veggies and eggs... sadly i forgot to savor it....

03-15-2008, 11:43 AM
Maryblu, I am so grateful for your kind and very encouraging words this morning. They were especially valuable, as I got up this morning in not such a good place. The rebel in me was rearing her not-so-pretty head. After all, it’s the weekend, don’t I deserve to take it easy, have a treat, not work so hard at this all, and on and on, blah blah blah.

I’m a binge eater, and last night I ate one of my trigger foods. Not planned. My plans for dining out had been foiled and I was going to have to eat my Friday dinner alone… already a set up, and I knew it. Well, even though I tried to stick within my plan, I ended up eating too much.
They don’t call them “trigger foods” for nothing. When I pick them up, I take aim, and fire!

But I am going to take *credit* here for getting a grip on myself, and jumping ahead in the Beck book last night and reading her fabulous chapter (Day ??) on stopping eating after a slip.

I typed out the card she recommends, verbatim, and instantly saw the logic in her graphic overeating “pyramid”. Wow. I loved that. It made total sense to me, and I *credit* myself for “accepting” the common sense in this and not eating everything in my kitchen, which is what I would normally do if I “slipped.”

I woke up this morning so depressed that I had gone off plan, but jumped online and read your message. It was perfect. I threw out the rest of my trigger foods, dumped my trash, and jumped in my car and got the healthy groceries I had planned to get anyway. I didn’t allow the negative thoughts to kill the rest of the day for me. Oh, they crossed my mind! But I didn’t dwell on them.

I am determined to work through this program. I am completely in agreement with you that CT will work no matter what, if you do the work. And like you said, she (Beck) lays it out day by day, step by step, and so non-judgmentally or authoritatively, even the rebel in me has a hard time finding fault with her method. <smile>

I haven’t even read what my task is for today!! LOL So I’ll be back later to respond more.

Thanks Coach! And thanks for the laughs too! You really pulled me out of my own private dumpster this morning!!

HEY CammieCam!! Thinking about you girl!! You still with us??



03-15-2008, 01:53 PM
Seachild/Ellen hugs to you darling... i too want to celebrate and eat this weekend... it's my birthday weekend.... i deserve to eat what i want right?

well NO....

good for you and for me for getting back on track as soon as we can!

03-15-2008, 02:44 PM
Wow great posts everyone. I think it is one of those mornings. Here I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself and then I logged on here and read these posts. It was like cold water thrown in my a good way. It made me realize I was reverting to old ways. I know Beck works. I just have to do it anyway.
Thank you all for your posts.
I am still trying to figure out what diet I want to follow.
Have a great day everyone.

03-15-2008, 05:51 PM

maybe we need to figure out what you like to eat.

I love that I can have unlimited veggies on my plan
i like that i can have low fat cheese
i like that i can be flexible and eat something NOT on plan and not ruin it forever (this was the key for me)
i like that i don't count calories or points. i have a great list of food to eat.... and if i eat food not on the plan it's not the end of the world....

this works for me.

we gotta help you figure out what works for YOU!

03-15-2008, 06:08 PM
I am off today and my younger son still really sick and I had to pull out the nebulizer and give him a breating treatment,we have not had to use it at all this year until now.We watched movies last night and just relaxed.Today I have been getting some cleaning done and I still have to get Easter decorations out not to mention shop for baskets.Easter candy is real hard for me so I am waiting till right before the weekend for that.I usually get some other little things like blockbuster gift cards or little toys so it is not all candy.How is everyone going to handle Easter.I am figuring I will buy some small porions of my favorite chocolate and allow myself small portions and make the kids baskets off limits.Easter dinner I just plan to have one plate of dinner except salads or veggies and one or two small pieces of dessert.I have got to plan ahead and I will probably make a sugarfree jello fruit mold to bring.Good food day today so far and ham in the oven for dinner,I am making peas and boxed scalloped potatoes with 1% milk and light butter.I am back to doing the ww points with a focus on core foods and my motto today is NO EXCUSES!!

AnnCan1111-WELCOME TO OUR BOARD! I agree with you Beck works and I also need to just do what I need to do!

ladybugnessa-Happy Birthday!Go out and buy yourself a nice gift,you deserve it! So much better than just eating to celebrate.Give that cake away,I love birthday cake too and can't have it in the house.Great job not eating anymore of it.

SeaChild-Wonderful job using the Beck tecniques,you got rid of the trigger food,left the scene,went and got healthy food and made new cards!Excellent and much credit to you.From Beck"you are strong and in control!"

onebyone-Great job on the weight loss! 1.2 pounds is great and just think next week your weigh in will be even better!You have a great attitude,those weigh ins kick my butt most weeks.You are using your stategies from Beck perfectly!

hbuchwald-Kudos for planning ahead for the pizza banquet!

maryblu-Great job getting the focus off the food at your upcoming conference and on to other things you enjoy like the pontoon boats!It brings the Beck point to mind that we have to accept that we will not use food to celebrate in the way we used to.We will not get the ultimate enjoyment we used to.

gahundy-Excellent job on lunch,accept the credit!! Keep at it and write down all the wonderful things you did for yourself and your health today!

CammieCam-Welcome back! Sounds like you are right on track getting everything set up for success.I do ww also and have been back and forth between flex and core,currently flex and I have had a hard time lately also but with all this support and Beck we will suceed.

mezmerize-Glad you are feeling better and great job easing back into exercise even if you don't love it.I do my swimming because that is what I love and tolerate the best.Is there something you like to do more than others?

03-15-2008, 09:40 PM
Hello loves and than you for thinking of me!

I went to my WI this morning to survey the damage. It was NOT good. :( I was right, I've got about 10 pound to lose to get back to where I was a month ago.

I picked up Beck and kept reading. I found the old response cards that I created and will create more along the way as I read the book.

Since I've already read through the book before and had my old cards, today I knew what things I need to be doing to make this journey a successful one.

I guess you could say that I'm on Day 4. Give yourself credit. This one is easy for me, honestly. I KNOW losing weight isn't easy and I think it's a good thing to give yourself credit for those little things that push you in the right direction. Beck is right, giving myself credit really boosts my confidence and encourages me to keep doing these positive things.

So here goes:

I ate everything sitting down! I went to a grocery store today that always has samples and I didn't have one. Credit moi. I went to Target and LOVE their popcorn. The smell was sooooo inviting!! Usually I'll buy popcorn and eat it while I browse the store. At first I wasn't gonna have any, but I decided to indulge. So I bought it, put it in a bag, and waited till I got home. Then I counted out a few servings, put them in a bowl, sat down, and ate. Credit moi. I cooked dinner and did not eat one bite standing up. Credit moi. And I went to brunch with my mom and stayed OP. Credit moi.

onebyone - Excellent work today! Your enthusiasm has encouraged me to keep going!

Nessa - I hope you enjoyed your birthday. And credit you for getting right back on track.

Ellen - This morning I went through the same thingyou did, I almost beat myself up after my WW meeting for gaining all that weight. But like you, I didn't let those thoughts ruin the rest of the day for me. Credit US!

Wendy - I decided to do Flex with mostly Core foods as well. I've been Core since December and my leader suggested that I point out what I've been eating, thinking maybe I"m eating too much, much more than my body needs which is why I wasn't losing. Now granted, alot of that was me as well, not being honest with her or with myself about my eating, but I thought about it and decided that I might need the structure that the Flex plan provides. It also lets me eat foods that aren't allow on the Core plan without the feelings of "oh I can't eat this, it's not core." I miss little snacks and treats and I can have them on the Flex plan. I will just try not to go overboard.

Tonights goals: Make a meal plan for the week and get in some exercise.

03-15-2008, 09:49 PM

From the maintainers forum......Glory87

"Work snacks are the WORST and I am constantly bombarded with it, leftover bagels from meetings, leftover donuts from meetings, leftover cookies, chips, truffles, chocolates (several admins keep candy dishes on their desk - "take some!" - ugh you name it! I just tell myself "I don't eat free food at work." Makes my life a lot simpler. I was really tempted on Friday though, they had a baby shower and there was a big thing of spinach dip/chips left over, mmm spinach dip, in a bread bowl! Managed to resist."

What a concept! Sound like a Beck "No Choice"? THAT'S how they do it....lose and maintain......who knew? lol.

We have to face that fact that losing the wt. is not easy, and keeping it off is not easy, and it takes constant awareness, commitment, and effort. The good news is, we have the tools. We have every single tool, with every possible scenario and sabotaging thought-stopper. It is there, within the pages of a book/workbook, all laid out......"if this, then do this".

The question is, how badly do we want it?

Yanno, that is a conversation we need to have with ourselves, and I think(gasp....this is heresy!) it goes beyond Advantage Cards. This little discussion with ourselves goes beyond writing down reasons and advantages of losing the wt.

How badly do we want it?

We all have become very good at accepting ourselves at the wt. we are. We have, or we wouldn't be there/here, because we have the tools, the behavior blueprint to change ourselves if we want to.

How badly do we want it?

03-16-2008, 07:53 AM
got up this morning (after a night of food debauchery by choice) an came right here. Credit, Moi!

03-16-2008, 09:40 AM
Onebyone…I always get a good dose of Beck from your posts. <smile> I know that sometimes it seems sooooo sloooow, but celebrate your 1.2 lbs lost! At times when I’d be disappointed by a WI and had lost less than I had expected to, a friend of mine on another site used to tell me …Ellen, a half pound on the scale is equal to about a half cup of water, that’s it.

Our bodies seem so fickle with hormones and retention and balancing out who knows what else. So I need to remember to keep to the behavior and let the scale gradually catch up to where this consistent behavior is leading me. It’s a tough one! <smile> I think I’m going to start to read the Maintainer’s list to remind myself that I am making these changes for the long haul. Permanent Lifestyle Changes…not just a temporary fix to lose pounds. If we’re going to maintain the loss, we’re going to be doing this forever. Hopefully it will get easier and become more second nature. But right now it seems, most of us are on a steep learning curve.

Nessa…thanks so much for the good vibes you sent my way girl. And Happy Belated Birthday!! Glad you survived your debauchery! LOL

Ann…I don’t think one diet is any better for losing than another. I've tried them all!! LOL I firmly believe that ultimately calories do count, so like Nessa said... find something that will allow you your natural healthy choices for daily meals. It's gotta be easier for us when we don't work against our natural tastes and tendencies. Good luck!

Cammie…I was worried that you might not come back. (When I’m disappointed, my own inclination is to sink into depression, hide away, and not check in. That’s going to be a personal challenge for me….to show up here. To ask for help when I need it. To admit to my mistakes, so that maybe I can learn to stop making so many of them!) So glad to see you. Right now I’m just counting calories, but I’ve done WW flex and like you, I eat mostly core while on Flex. It does give you some structure. I’m a strict vegetarian and people would say (or I’m sure they were thinking) how could a vegetarian get fat?? Duh. Too much food!!! lol

Wendy…Hope your little one is feeling better! I do the same thing with the Easter baskets that you do. My kids aren’t little anymore, but I still make them baskets. (They’ll always be my babies.) I’ll get them one or two quality candy items and lots of other things like cosmetics, little gift cards, non-edibles… I always used to have bags of extra candy around after over-filling their baskets. No more! I’m sure I’m still wearing some of those “extra” candies!!

Heidi… I’m a single mom too. I love my DDs but that precious time to myself… Wow! The life of a hermit sometimes looks SO inviting. <smile>
Enjoy your time!

Maryblu… you actually made me squirm! You said: We all have become very good at accepting ourselves at the wt. we are. We have, or we wouldn't be there/here…Yikes. This is a worry that I volley all around my brain a lot lately. That’s why I started this program. Even when I read the ARC statements each day, I have wondered why these things hadn’t been enough for me before. Motivation, and what moves people to do what they do, or not do what they don’t do, is something I’ve been fascinated with for most of my adult life.

You said: How badly do we want it? I really want to think about and discuss this more. I think it's of ultimate importance.

Oooops… time gets away from me when I’m here. I am SO glad to be part of this group, I can’t tell you. I am learning so much from you all.

I’ve gotta run. Have a great day everybody!


03-16-2008, 11:25 AM
Good Morning.

I had a bit of a deviation yesterday. I just ate too much at my lunch meal (and refused to stop when I knew I was already over-full) and then I ate a second helping of a planned snack, and then I ate a spoonful more of dinner, while standing up at the stove as I was putting it away.

None of these items put me off the WW plan, but they do contavene many Beck rules.

And what's up with me? Well even though I had a loss, it wasn't the loss I was "expecting", so I felt disappointed. Ironically, I was to work on disappointment yesterday. That was good because what DIDN'T HAPPEN is that I didn't binge. I stopped each time I realized I was doing the things that I am practicing not doing anymore. I am puffing up for TOM in a few weeks, or next week, or whenever it arrives. I never know. But I am puffing up. I ate take out food the night before = salt salt salt. So that's no help. But nevermind the reasons. Mostly what came back was a slight feeling of "this isn't going to work. You've been 254 so many many times now. It's not going to change. This isn't going to work." Fear. fear I can't lose the weight no matter what I do. This is exactly the time I have to re-double my efforts and change my thinking or I will make that thought come true again! nonono:tantrum: not this time.

So today I had my weighed and measured breakfast, my food is planned for the day as is my exercise as is my homework for school:write: <--- here's me sitting down to draw haha!

My task here on Day 25 is Pay Attention to Your Thinking and I am doing that. BDS and WW really do work fantastic together. That I didn't binge or be overcome with negative emotions and find myself this morning mad that I ate 2nd or 3rd helpings and extra snacks last night is real progress. Credit moi for pulling back and choosing to work the plan anyway and to go forward anyway whether I really believe it or not. I am willing to try and see what happens.

Hmmm. I just had a thought. I wonder if by going off-plan like I did if the very act of doing that doesn't trigger a batch of negative thinking immediately behind it? Like I see myself choose something that I am trying not to do, and then I do it, and then all the thoughts that I think to myself when I am being "bad" or I say to myself I am being bad, just come rushing in? It's no wonder they are so powerful and a binge can kick in so fast. That negative self loathing thinking has been nurtured by this kind of behaviour for years. The two go hand in hand. So if I don't want the negative thoughts stay away from the negative behaviour? Easy to say! But this is the first time I see them as a package deal. For me, it may be so. That's a relationship I've got to break up. Neg thinking doesn't have to lead to negative behaviour and vice versa. hmmmm. Does this make sense to anyone? hmmm.

ladybugnessa This place is a great way to start the day. Kudos to you for coming here and for keeping Beck on your mind. Happy belated birthday!

SeaChild Wow. Good turn around yesterday with the binge food and the re-committment to this plan. Kudos x2 for that! I can feel that you want to see a change for yourself... and you'll get it for sure. I'm really interested in the maintainers as well. I have never been there and want to be there...though as someone else posted, we are all maintainers if we've lost even one pound, we are maintaining that one pound loss.

AnnCan1111 Happy to read that you too stopped mid-step and decided not to go head-on into past behaviour. That's great! Take big credit in that. Don't let your lack of a formal diet plan stop you from moving forward. You can always choose to follow the food guide or something very basic like that. It's all good... BillBlueEyes wrote My only plan 2.5 years ago was to switch from continuous grazing to eating like I would be willing to live with forever. If you need to add more veggies and less whatever just start there. You can do it! We're all with you in this.

wendylan Good morning. Sorry to hear you DS is sick. Hope he's on the mend soon. Happy to hear you're on track with your foodplan. Kudos! Easter is not a big deal in my life exept when I see all the shiny chocolate things in the store. They really talk to me. I guess I just have to practice being snooty:snooty: and not even give them the time of day! haha! But for you maybe you can spend a few points on some and get rid of the rest from your house, or at least out of eyesight so they don't tempt you. And you can't go wrong with planning out your holiday meal in advance. You know the old saying: fail to plan; plan to fail All the best!

CammieCam Hello! Great going on the popcorn at Target and eating sitting down at home in a bowl! Awesome. You seem to be right back in the groove. Keep going! I am sure you said an "Oh, well" after that weighin. It could have been worse, it can always be worse, and that 10lbs will be gone again. Welcome back.

maryblu It's true that the weight we are at, no matter how we rail against it, is comfortable. We know what things are like at this weight, we know what we hate at this weight, we know, pretty much what to expect. I know I am supposed to want to be thin no matter what. Everything in the world is telling me this is what I should want and think and struggle towards no matter the cost. Sometimes, I don't feel like that. Sometimes, I don't want to struggle. Sometimes it's scary to go lower on the scale. Why I want it so bad is that my health is starting to crack beneath this weight. I've carried it for 38 years, off and on. I am at mid life. I may have the same amount of time ahead of me now as I do behind me. EXCEPT it's not the young strong body that can carry weight no problem. It's an aging body that genetically is built to start breaking down. So. If I want to go faster "into that good night" I really have to do nothing. But I don't want that. I want to back up that truck and stay on the top of the hill as long as I can. I am not helping myself, in fact I am actively hurting myself by carrying this weight. My proof? I have blood pressure meds. Soon, I will have something else. Bodies are built like this. They break down naturally, and they'll break down faster under constant stress and strain. People in my family live long lives. I want to be one of them. I really do want this.

And on that note, I wish you all a great Sunday. Wish me luck getting my drawing done I STILL DON'T WANT TO DO IT:tantrum:

03-16-2008, 11:13 PM
Onebyone: That blasted scale…that number becomes so important… you “becked it out” just right-you ARE doing this and it IS working… how do you feel about the changes you are making, etc..?

Yes-you make perfect sense to me with the negative thinking being followed by negative behavior. That is CBT in a nutshell…there is a thought that leads to a feeling that leads to a behavior. We must catch that first thought and put it in perspective to be able to change the behavior. So…when I have no child here and I am feeling indecisive and in the past, used to binge out bigtime under these circumstances… what shall I say to myself? Sample response: just sit and relax, have a cup of tea, sit by the fire, pet the dog, meditate….. just RELAX. IF I figure out that I want to do something, do it and enjoy it. Then…give credit to myself.

Kudos to you on getting the blood draw. You can do this!

Nessa: Happy Birthday to you! Try not to beat yourself up…it is what I did this weekend too for some reason and I am reading your post and thinking that I should be talking to myself the way I am responding to you: “it could have been worse (has been at other times in life”, “it happened and now I am done with it”… I am also adding more structure to the week so I feel more reigned in.

Some friends took my dd to ski lessons this morning so I had about 5 hours of “mommy time” which I get so rarely. I look forward to it when this happens but also sometimes don’t know what to do with myself. I had lots that I could have done that would have been easier without a child around. I could have just relaxed, read, etc… or gone out and done something. I was indecisive the whole time and never really felt GREAT about what I was doing. I need to figure out responses to those situations about how food isn’t going to solve that issue (thanks Sue!) and that I want to enjoy whatever I do…once I decide on what I want to do (run an errand as an example)…make it the most enjoyable it can be. It sounds so silly when I type it all out but there it is!

Seachild: Great work on dealing with things…I can relate to the binge eating and the rebel inside. The pyramid is my favorite graphic in that book-the visual makes me think “duh…” to myself but it is easy to forget how quickly the cals add up if you keep on going with an eating frenzy. Even with the eating that I did this weekend (easter candy and some ice cream), it had an END. Before I began doing this Beck stuff, there was no end until I felt so sick I couldn’t eat another bite. I have to watch myself since sometimes I wonder if I just need to relax-as in, stop doing chores around the house or correcting papers or whatever and sit down. I used to eat so much that all I felt like doing was go to bed.

Ann: Love the “cold water on the face” analogy. What eating plans are you considering?

Wendylan: Sorry to hear about your boy. That is scary when it is a breathing issue! Yes, I did get some toys and some candy that I don’t like so much but still dug into some of it. I put it all up in my closet until next weekend. My plan is to avoid it all together at this point. I will make sure that I have my dark chocolate in the evenings and savor that.

Cammie: Welcome back! I really am glad you are here. Falling off the wagon could happen to any of us and it is important for us to remember that we can and should come back when we want to!

Maryblu: Thanks for the anecdote from a maintainer. It is VERY eye opening to hear this kind of talk from a maintainer… of course it makes sense that people who have lost weight will be conscious of the food around them, be tempted and have to wrestle with how to deal. Just another example that this is a journey and there is not a destination that we reach and all of a sudden things change and become easy. Bummer! Ha!

How badly do I want it? That is THE question. That is the question that must be answered honestly to myself about myself. I love that question because it brings it back to this not being a “plan” but my life. I want my advantage cards to help me feel like that question feels to me at this moment. I am writing that question down as a card to look at. Thanks.

03-17-2008, 06:56 AM
Diet Coaches - Ate this weekend at the conference as planned in last Friday’s post: baby carrots for car snacks, meals within my food budget, single servings except seconds of 3 terrific soups and baby greens salads, only two desserts, ignored the constantly available snacks except for my normal three between meals snacks (unsalted raw almonds and oranges) each day. CREDIT moi. To get coffee, I had to reach over the fresh baked brownies. Oh Well. Fresh baked cookies were passed. NO CHOICE. Congenial social pressure, “What - you don’t want chocolate?” Oh Well. Thanks for all the good wishes sent my way. It helped knowing that I was going to report back here to my diet coaches; thanks for being here.

Had grapefruit for after dinner snack last night; eating choices at home are comforting.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Waving; hope your computer gets back on line.

MaryBlu - I do like your question, "How badly do we want it?" My Advantages Card helps me with that one. [In my childhood, the oldest daughter was always expected to set an example; no wrinkled thinking allowed, LOL.]

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for confronting your thoughts and feelings during "mommy time." Seems right on track with Beck and CBT to get our thoughts out in the open so we can choose to reframe them.

wendy (wendylan) - Ouch for DS's breathing difficulty. Sending healing thoughts his way. Kudos for such a sane plan for the Easter Baskets. Easter candy was a big chunk of the weight that I had to lose.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Waving. Hope Great Big Sea met your expectations.

Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos for keeping up with your exercising. It's hard to do stuff that isn't always appealing.

Cammie (CammieCam) - Welcome back !!!! (Our generally accepted notion for a hiatus is: no explanations are required; just start posting today.) Kudos for getting your cards back in working order. Kudos for passing up the FREE food samples, which is such a hard one for me. And Kudos for giving yourself credit for all the positive steps you're taking.

barbpos – Just noting that you "really like cottage cheese." I too thought it was "diet" food, but recently tried it and liked it. Haven't really worked it into my eating plan, but have moved it onto my list of desirable foods.

onebyone – Sending positive drawing thoughts. Am intrigued by your discussion between negative behavior driving negative thoughts, driving negative behavior, ... Seem worthwhile to chase down where in that spiral to step in with Beck style solutions. I think you're onto something.

amy (gahundy) – Kudos for moving past Program-day 3 and on to giving yourself credit. Kudos for your Chinese lunch. Looking forward to hearing you give yourself credit on this thread - I found it REALLY hard at first. Now I just find it really hard.

Ellen (SeaChild) - Kudos for "getting a grip" and BIG Kudos for taking credit for that. Loved this idea, "Clearly, food is way more important to me than I ever like to admit. I need to de-magnetize!!" I'm first in line to buy your demagnetizing process that puts food back in its proper place. You're gonna be rich, LOL.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Belated Happy Birthday. Kudos for getting back on track and putting the birthday weekend behind you. And Kudos for giving yourself credit. I thought of you this weekend when I watched on attender at the conference getting around ever so slowly with one foot in a plastic cast. Hope your fracture is not a hinderence today.

AnnCan1111 - Good luck settling into a plan that works with your vacations. Beck's idea of having a backup plan seems like a good idea; several people posting here have switched to their backup when they needed a change.

Readers – “… For example, have you ever strayed from a diet for any of the following reasons:
• You were too polite to turn down the dessert that your friend baked. ...“Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-17-2008, 08:18 AM
Hi all,

Day 29 for me. It's hard to believe. Food is still very clean. I did decide to have Thai food on Saturday night, but even there I was conscious of portions and keeping the choices less rich than I often have. The absolutely amazing thing is that I've gone from grazing or bingin all evening, to one planned snack, and it's not hard.

I don't feel like I've given day 25-27 as much effort as I want to eventually...I seem to do better with pithy response cards than with going through the analysis of my thinking and the seven question technique.

I'm also feeling a little bit like the honeymoon is wearing off. My pattern in the past has been to do very well for a period of time and then not succeed in getting through the challenges when the going gets tougher. I'm really hoping that Beck gets me through....but it's hard to know until I get there. Any good response cards for this fear? I can say that I'm laying the groundwork for times that are more challenging....or that I know that black and white thinking isn't helpful....but it's hard to believe it until it's tested.

Down 3 pounds this week!!! Celebration time!!!! Time for a reward, which will be some new coffee mugs from a craft store...once I find the time to get there. Still haven't gotten the new plush towels that were my first reward.

Sorry no time to respond to everyone's posts...I really do enjoy reading them and get a lot out of everyone's thoughts and experiences.

03-17-2008, 08:36 AM
Wendylan – I hope today finds your son feeling much better. I don’t mind walking and it’s all I can do at this moment. (doctors orders) I am actually starting to like to exercise and really missed it this weekend. I had to fight myself not to workout. My 1 of the 2 tape strips came off Saturday while I was sleeping. It was split open. So I put a butterfly closures and took it easy. I planned on working out Sunday but the tape on the other side of my staple came off and did the same thing so I didn’t walk out that day. Today I am going to! Even I just get in a mild mile. Today is also weight in day. I wasn’t the best yesterday. I feel due to stress from not walking and getting close to the 200 mark. But this well not detour me!

Sorry if I missed anyone. My dog just jumped the fence. Got to go.

03-17-2008, 08:42 AM
Good Morning.

I'm at work. I have some things to do so i'm not going to do personals today (and I always feel bad that I don't do them but I just gotta focus on me a bit) :(

oh well... stream of consciousness musings follow:

i was not very beck like (or south beach like) this weekend. although yesterday my food was beachy my thoughts were "more more more" i need MORE... ugh....

i discovered truly that I don't do well on the weekends in terms of structured eating... meaning my BECK work. some guilt there... not sure why... I guess because i know i'm cheating and harming myself.

Today I plan to READ day six but I also plan to really work on day 5 still Eating slowly and mindfully... that really is being a huge problem for me...

03-17-2008, 09:39 AM
Good morning coaches

It seems that whatever the title for the day is that I am working on, I can predict that that will be a problem for me that day. Or maybe the focus on that behaviour brings it into my face? Not sure. So yesterday and the pay attention to your thinking. Well I had seconds at dinner. I waited a good hour and my thinking was like this: I really want more. Can I have more? I shouldn't have seconds. If I wait I can have it as a snack. But it's unplanned. But I can have a snack. But it's okay, I'm still on plan, I have enough points (weight watchers plan here) to cover it. I can have that. Boy was that good. I really want more. In the end I had more. No big surprise there! Nary a counter argument from me on that. I just wanted more.

I was stressed about my drawing assignments. I'm halfway through now. I'm back at it after this email. I ate cause I was stressed and procrastinating and cause I deserved it. None of this went consciously through my head though.

And I am going to be eating all my meals at the kitchen table for the near future. I think part of the drive to get more of that food came from eating too fast, in a distracted manner, so that by the time I actually realized how good the food was I had eaten it up and then I wanted more to taste. So this morning I sat at the table with my cereal and promised myself if I was full I would stop. When I stopped there was some cereal left at the bottom and some milk and I THREW IT OUT. And I didn't feel bad or anything. I just threw it away. What a big deal for me to do that, especially that I didn't agonize over it.

After I did that it struck me that that kind of behaviour may not actually dovetail with my foodplan oddly enough. See, if I plan ahead then I plan out a serving size, record it in the book and figure out the points for it... Okay. What if I throw 1/3 away? Or 1/4? Shouldn't the points be adjusted for that? Or do you let it go and say "that's what I planned, this is what happened?" Under the guise of "being entitled to" part of me says "You're allowed all that food. You can eat it. Eat it. Why deprive yourself?" And that self-talk makes me ignore whether I am hungry or not becasue this was a pre-planned snack/serving size. I see writing this that if you are calorie counting this is the same issue. I guess I need to have Beck rules supercede the foodplan in some cases, this being one of them. I guess I've identified a thinking error here? Have I? Credit to me for throwing food out, for working things through and for sitting down and consciously eating this morning. Credit to me for not binge eating over the weekend, either day.

Oh and I just have to say that my weight is climbing daily. 3lbs higher now than my lowest weight recorded 3 days ago. Hormonal fluctuations no doubt. I am not going to let it put me off my plan coaches.

Better go. Have to get at it.

03-17-2008, 10:44 AM
boy, everyone is so busy on the thread i am having a hard time keeping up with whos' doing what!
i hope everyone is doing well and i offer my support for those who are struggling.
today is day 5 for me, eat mindfully and slowly! bfast was a protein bar at my desk but i know i can eat slowly and mindfully at lunch. i will put down my book and every couple of bites i will put down my fork. that is my plan, and if that still doesn't work plan b is to eat with my LEFT hand, that should slow me down a bit. i am very right handed and struggle when i have to use my left for something. anyway that's my plan for today i will come back and post how lunch worked out.
good luck everybody!!!

03-17-2008, 10:55 AM
Good Luck Amy. i'm still working on Day 5 myself... have been since Friday!

03-17-2008, 11:19 AM
Good morning everyone!

I too am working on Day 5 today. I've been through it before and I KNOW how hard this one is going to be, it's one I've struggled with because it doesn't feel natural. Since I read the chapter on the subway on the way to to work and after I ate breakfast, I'll have lunch and dinner focus on this one, to really think about what I'm eating. No TV, no internet which is where I usually eat most of my meals, either in front of the TV or in front of the computer.

I kinda justify my eating with distractions and say that Beck says it's normal for us to have some distractions while we eat, but we should still be mindful of portion sizes and mindful to stop eating when we're full.

Today I pledge to at least turn the computer off while I eat lunch today. And to eat at the table for dinner. Beyond that... no guarantees. :)

I've read up on all of the posts, and I hope everyone's doing well today. Keep coming back and posting your insights.

Oh and onebyone I've had the same thoughts about points and Beck's plan. They do kinda contradict themselves at times, don't they? Planned food versus stopping when you're full. Having the points to use versus what Beck would consider an unplanned snack or meal. I don't have a clear cut answer, but just wanted you to know that I've noticed it as well.

Have a good day everyone!

03-17-2008, 11:30 AM
did i miss the stop when full part of day 5? i thought stop when full came later.....

03-17-2008, 03:49 PM
just a quick lunch post...
went to lunch with hubby at the chinese buffet. normally this is a disaster for me but today i only had one plate and i drank water instead of cola or sweet tea. i also ate slowly and put my fork down between bites. Yay me for not eating seconds and for choosing water!!
i'll be back this evening to report on dinner. we are having loaded potato soup (potato soup w/ bacon and cheese in it.) very yummy, but i WILL only eat ONE regular size bowl!!!!
hope everybody is having a yummy lunch and have a good rest of the day...amy

03-17-2008, 04:50 PM
Hi everyone!

The weekend was wonderful and challenging at the same time. Great Big Sea was fabulous, but we could only stay for about 1/2 the set because they played last, and El Nino was getting wicked tired (and sick, unbeknowst to us,) and it was also starting to rain. So about 18 hours in the car for 25 minutes of GBS. :tired: On the other hand, we got to spend some nice time together away from all the stress and routine, and the kid seemed to enjoy most of the time. He loves people, and music, and food, and we did all three. The food - not planned, not on plan, and some of it was just gross because I plumb ran out of time packing and didn't have anything for the car. We were trying to time the stops to coincide with the kid NOT sleeping, so I was eating out of gas stations (cheetos and M&Ms.) It didn't even taste good and after a few hours I was feeling ill. The food at the festival was also atrocious - fried shapes, as DH calls it. I did the best I could, but it wasn't anything to be proud of. The meals we ate in restaurants were better, but again, didn't have much of a plan going in, and it can be stressful trying to eat while working with the kid and doing my best to keep the food off the floor, highchair, and other patrons. Before he gets bored. He's really pretty good for 13 mths - he can sit and eat for 30-40 minutes in restaurants, but that's not time I'm spending being mindful and/or enjoying my own meal. DH and I take turns but somehow I find myself feeding the kid more often. I love feeding him but don't have the time to feed myself, so I'm back to shovelling.

So woke up this morning with a sore throat - OI! sick again??? I've lost two weeks of marathon training to illness and injury, and I'm starting to feel a little bit of panic that I'll be undertrained for the big day. It's still 6 weeks away, so I'm not sunk yet, but if I can't get it together in the next week I'm going to have to seriously reconsider the run.

And to add insult to (literally) injury, I'm back up 2.5 pounds. I know, water retention, last Monday/Tuesday's out of control eating, and I'm bone tired. Just feeling bad and wanting to eat. I had a little bit of a think in the bathroom (ALONE time! huzzah!) and repeated to myself some fine, worthwhile thoughts, like food isn't going to fix tired and stressed. It only fixes hungry. Rest and organizing fixes tired and stressed. Unfortunately, there's no rest in my immediate future. Spring break is over and I've got three group presentations, two papers, and a research project to bang out in the next four weeks. I've got to get focused like a laser, or it's not going to work. Poor DH is completely freaking about all the work we have to do on both the houses in the next couple of months. I'd be right there with him, but I can't even think about it right now. We've got to get the kid through a fresh course of antibiotics for his new case of conjunctivitis, and I've got to figure out how to get my head back together so I can actually get something done at work.

So - how bad do I want it? It changes. I wanted it a lot more badly when I was 205 than I do now at 180. Now I fit comfortably in all my clothes, and I'm in pretty good shape. It's much easier to slack off and be "good enough." I was thinking about how the things that aren't easy or natural or fun - you've got to create systems so they're automatic and you don't think about them, you just do them. Like brushing your teeth, or putting a clothes hamper where you tend to dump your laundry, and automatic deductions into the 401k. I can automate a lot of my meals, but I still have to spend a fair amount of time shopping, cooking, portioning. I'd love to do one of those diet delivery food services for the next two months, but they're insanely expensive and the food never looks that good. I tried Nutrisystem about two years ago and it was like eating cardboard. Maybe I could work in more Kashi frozen meals or something. Must think about that in my (copious) spare time. :drool: The other problem is that exercise NEVER just happens. Have to really plan for it, and frankly, these days I'm tired, tired, tired. I know that working out helps my energy level and helps me sleep better, but the long runs tend to drain more than energize, and I'm just not looking forward to them. I recognize that I've signed on for more than I can reasonably do - but the idea of backing out just because, ain't in my nature. So I'll press on. We're just talking two more months, right? I can live with some pain for two months.

Happy St. Patty's everyone! :drinkup:

03-17-2008, 07:48 PM
Hello all.

Love how active this place is-but I am just going to jump in versus responding to the past postings-(my short term memory is not that good any more) The cable/internet guy came today so hope all is well and will be reliable.

Must send good wishes to Kuljeannie-been there-parenting, working, graduate school, having sick kids and being sick. Once I got pink eye so badly-what a pain until the doc got the right meds-got it off a hay bale set up for Halloween-go figure-It does pass but there are some tough day-Hang in- you are doing so well you are not "making do with your current wieght" just treading water until you get more energy. Energy will return soon and You will return to losing weight again soon.

Maryblu-thanks for calling me a grownup but at 60+ yrs I still eat like a kid. A some crummy things happened this weekend and caused alot of tension for me and there I was eating foods I don't like that much, eating when not hunger, eating after waiting 10 minutes for a craving to pass-ect. ect. plus not swimming as was out of town. The best news was how much I wanted to get home and get back to my eating plan. I have returned today-plus swam for 60 minutes. Even happy to see that silly cottage cheese for breakfast.

I can follow the Beck rules at home, But when a number of factors occur I still lose it. 1. A big factor for me is when I am around people who expect and demand that I take care of them. 2. When I am not listen to-as if my contribution was boring/not important. 3. I begin not to think my needs are not important-get rather subservant to others. 4. I lose a sense of control and start getting angry. 5. But then I criticize myself for being angry at such anxious, needy people-bad person I am. 5. I think is the true pattern of stuffing my feeling down with food. 6. The difficulty at time to get healthy food when traveling along with the easy of getting caloric food everywhere. 7. Once the eating starts how long it for me to come back to my sense-that stupid idea of Oh well I have blown it for the day so overeat the rest of the day.

I think Beck stuff is so wise but I still have to work through a lot of strong feeling which eating has been an unhealthy support for me. For me all the Beck tools are great yet I respect that at times my own feelings can over whelm me and then I still overeat. I get almost an emotional panic at certain times but I refuse to stop getting healthy and not lose weight. I am learning to feel, cope and how to take care of myself around some folks versus overeating and seeming so "cooperative" -I must learn to say no not just to food but to others expectation of me.

Take care all

03-17-2008, 11:05 PM
UGH. This is why I don't keep snacks in the house.

I portioned out a serving of these low fat cheese crunchy thingies I got from Trader Joes... sat down and ate them... then went back, got the rest of the bag and ate it all. ARGH! I could give myself credit for sitting down while eating every single one, but I won't even go there. I just felt like eating them. I CHOSE to eat them I guess. It wasn't the RIGHT choice, and I do feel bad about it, but it coulda been worse. Right?

I told myself no eating after 8pm this week, but my evening took a little detour from what I thought it was gonna be. At the last minute I got some company and instead of cooking and eating at around 7 I was busy entertaining my guest, and didn't get to sit down with my plate until after 9pm. I wanted to use my activity points for the cheese crunchy thingies, but had no intention on eating the entire rest of the bag.

UGH! Let me see if I can extrapolate something positive from this:
I made a conscious choice to eat unplanned food, but have decided not to let it derail me and will get right back on track. And other than that my eats so far this week have been great, so I doubt this one little slip up will make me gain weight. I strengthened my giving in muscle, I know... :( But at least I know what I did wrong. UGH!

It's okay. I'm okay.

I'm still reading your posts, even though I don't respond to each one. Please keep posting, it's so good to know that I'm not the only one struggling with certain behaviors that we're all working to get under control.

03-18-2008, 06:41 AM
Cammie my plan requires me to be fairly vigilant with wheat... i.e. small servings 2-3 times a day of grains/starches are allowed.... NOT 3 honking homemade whole wheat dinner rolls that i had by choice at dinner last night.

you are NOT ALONE!

03-18-2008, 07:29 AM
Diet Coaches – After a few days away, it's such a joy to live a full day in the surroundings where I have my food plan and exercise plan working smoothly. CREDIT moi for not having a negative reaction to the 5 pound jump in the scale after three days of eating multiple servings of several tasty (read "salty") soups. The scale gave most of it up this morning. That's the biggest salt retention I've experienced on my journey - I'm glad that others have posted about it so I wasn't concerned.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Welcome back from the isolated land of no internet. Kudos for getting in 60 minutes of swimming. It just amazes me that someone can swim that long; it's still a dream of mine to be that competent in the water. Thanks for the seven thoughtful notions of what can get you off track. I particularly resonate with, "1. A big factor for me is when I am around people who expect and demand that I take care of them. " There is room in my journey to get more facile in recognizing a demand/request as something that I can turn down, despite the expectation of the asker. When you learn how to do this, please teach me.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Waving to busy busy Heidi.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - What a trip! Glad that "Great Big Sea was fabulous," Kudos for your continued efforts on your food and exercise plans within your super busy schedule. Ouch for the sore throat and El Nino feeling sick. Sending you virtual chicken noodle soup over the internet.

Mez (mezmerize) - You wrote, "My dog just jumped the fence." That seems to capture the realities of staying on track for me. Sending best wishes for the rapid healing of your wound and your return to full motion exercising.

Cammie (CammieCam) - Good luck working your Program-day 5 stuff. It does seem to be the topic for many today. My take is that there is a successful path somewhere short of the monastic concentration on ones bowl of gruel. Hope you find yours.

barbpos – You wrote, "I'm also feeling a little bit like the honeymoon is wearing off. ... Any good response cards for this fear?" I recognize the feeling since I entertain it myself all the time. The best I've been able to do is read and reread my Believe It Response Card to remind myself that I do have the strategies to stay on course after the phases of "honeymoon", "willpower", "novelty", and "enthusiasm" all wear off. I know what to do and can do it. That's new for me as differs from other times when I just assumed that my initial enthusiasm would last forever. I'm convinced that I can get this new lifestyle into my tooth brushing category of living.

onebyone – Kudos for half of your drawings. Big Kudos for throwing out the last of the cereal. Kudos for giving yourself credit for that, and for giving yourself credit for eating at the table, mindfully. And Kudos for remaining calm and resolving to stay on track. I can feel the efforts you're putting in to stay the course.

amy (gahundy) – Kudos for eating mindfully. I do like your notion of eating with your left hand to slow yourself down; I may have to try that.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - You wrote, "my food was beachy my thoughts were 'more more more' i need MORE..." Yep, I still feel that way at times even when I'm on track but am surrounded by abundance that is being offered specifically to me. I'm trying to decide whether that's a temporary situation or part of my permanent life to be treated with the Unfair strategies.

Readers – “… For example, have you ever strayed from a diet for any of the following reasons:
• You were at a party and felt like treating yourself.
To successfully lose weight and keep it off, you need to solve these kinds of practical problems. …” Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-18-2008, 08:44 AM
Good morning...

My schedule has been crazy! I feel rushed but I'll be back
later. I just completed day 9... Exercise... and so the time
crunch is even more evident. <g>

I have a love hate relationship with exercise. It makes me
feel great when I do it. No doubt. And when I'm in the
middle of an exercising trend... more days doing it than
not... I love it more and more.

But if I lag behind.. because I'm sick, crushed for time, just lazy...
and I get a few days linked together without it... I'm done.

And then have to remotivate to get going.

So on that thought... I'm off to walk.

Later ! <smile>

03-18-2008, 08:53 AM
Good Morning

BBE said I'm convinced that I can get this new lifestyle into my tooth brushing category of living.

that is so where i want to be.... my food choices are pretty much there. any deviation from my food plan is a conscious choice on my part...

Still struggling with Day 5 being mindful of and eating slowly.....

did manage to engage a live diet coach in my friend T. She is supportive and helpful and always available. we work together and live nearby each other.

but my biggest coach is my south beach board.... i have a journal there and i've always for nearly 2 years posted everything... as i live and breathe.... I will continue to use my board as my coach, my support, my mother confessor...

Seachild (Ellen) Exercise. I used to hate it. finally found a gym I love, found a trainer I love, found YOGA which I love adore and NEED. then I injured my bad ankle.... AGAIN. it seems to me that EVERYTIME I find exercise, exercise hates me and I lose it.... makes me :(

03-18-2008, 09:26 AM
Good mornign beckies!!
well last night at dinner i ate in front of the tv. i know, i know. and while i could give a bunchof excuses, i won't. but i am going to give myself credit for eating only one bowl of soup and no snacks after dinner.
even though i am still working on step 5 (eating slowly and mindfully) i am moving on to step 6 b/c it doesn't seem like it should take much time nor be something that i have to "master" . i just need a supportive person to be my coach. maybe i will just use this thread for my coach, whatcha say...everybody want to be my coach?
Also since everyone is doing good but the atmosphere doesn't seem as positive i have pulled a quote from the "success can". hope it makes everybody feel successful....Success is not a place that we aspire to, it is a process in which we live by. Often the only ingredient being the ability to not quit.
we are all working hard at this and therefore we are successful! so when you feel down today, just remember...YOU ARE A SUCCESS!!!
have a great day...amy

03-18-2008, 09:30 AM
BillBlueEyes – Kudos on seeing the salt gain as it was and not letting it derail you.

coastalsue – “I refuse to stop getting healthy and not lose weight. I am learning to feel, cope and how to take care of myself around some folks versus overeating and seeming so "cooperative" -I must learn to say no not just to food but to others expectation of me.” This rings so true with me.
kuhljeanie – I need to work out a plan to not shovel food in my mouth once again. I have the grandkids starting tomorrow and feeding them and eating mindfully can be a challenge. I’m thinking of putting on one of their music CDs during lunch. Maybe that will allow me time before they beg to get out of their high chairs.

CammieCam – I found out Sunday I can’t have a certain item in my home.

Today I once again plan the 4 mile fast walk. Minus the jogging. I was down 1lbs yesterday which could have been more had I not over did it Sunday. I’m not sure if that was due to me closing that 200 mark, not being able to work out or TOM. I’m not going to let it have any effect on me. I was able to do the fast walk yesterday and am happy that I can work hard enough to sweat. I was at the market and they all kinds of samples and I didn’t take one! I seen them and the thought only when sitting came to mind. I didn’t give those booths a second thought after that. Something I’ve never done before!!

03-18-2008, 09:45 AM
Hello Coaches

I am happy to report I have only one more set of drawings to be done. I managed to get through two weeks of homework in 3 days. But it's been a rought three days and it threw me off my food at least twice. I think I need to take a look at my procrastination and the real effect it has on my life and my food. I am coming up on my busy work season after school is done and my schedule gets heavy. I rebel against it, stop work altogether, it piles up, I get stressed and then I don't enjoy the work I love. I hope to strike a balance this year for the first time.

Foodwise I ate all my meals yesterday with my eyes closed. I sat at the kitchen table and simply ate. I threw food away at breakfast and at lunch. Wow. I also broke my meals up a bit and had four meals instead of three. I might do this again in the future. Or I may aim for the 5 mini meals a day. I think I function better with more even amounts of food spread out over the day than three bigger meals. We'll see. It's not my plan for today.
I have to go. Much to do and about an hour to do it in.

I have to say coaches, that my friend and I are heading to the slots at the racetrack this evening. She wants to go and she never wants to go anywhere so I agreed. Wish me luck and strength to stay away from the buffet and only spend $40.00!

Have a good day chums.

03-18-2008, 03:03 PM
well i haven't started my new eating plan yet and i am already thinking that it is not going to work. the plan itself is good and the science behind it as well. but it is going to take maor planning to get all the right food in and in the right groupings. for instance it says to always eat protein with your carbs. (apple and pnutbutter, etc.) that doesn't sound too hard but then there are FOUR protein categories and you have toeat a certain amount from EACH group everyday. it's an exchange diet (like the diabetic exchange) but instead of starch exchange there is a fruit and a veggie and a starchy veggie and then there is the grain exchange and of course there is dairy and fat and i was not kidding when i said there are four different protein groups. i know that to eat right there is an amount of planning and prep but i think this is way over my head plus i have kids to cart places and a house ot clean and a job to go to. i just don't have time to spend 6 hours trying to figure out what to eat everyday. i am making excuses or does this seem like a good reason to go to my plan b diet? i mean i don't want to get into this and then see that it's not really a feasible plan for me. what do you guys think? am i making another excuse not to do something or are these litigimate concerns. i feel like i can't even think for myself when it comes to diet and exercise anymore.

03-18-2008, 03:08 PM

what would you like to eat and how?

I do South Beach. it works for me. I eat whole foods mostly... after the first two weeks it's easy really esp if you like veggies....

ya get protein (lean meat, eggs or cheese) fats, veggies, dairy (milk and yogurt) grains/starches (oatmeal, quiona, sweet potato whole wheat stuff, brown rice) fruits... and more veggies...

it's really just healthy eating.... maybe something like that would work?

on my sad note:

i'm not doing so well food wise today.

i'm sitting to eat
i'm being mindful of what i'm eating
but i'm eating off my plan....

03-18-2008, 04:01 PM
Hey Everyone!

As I’ve been on the run, I didn’t read my day’s Beck today until lunch time. Setting goals. ( I don’t have the book in front of me, so forgive me paraphrasing.)

Wow. This one grabs at me even more than Eating Mindfully (which I’ve been practicing faithfully, if not always successfully.) With Mindful Eating, I’m learning to compartmentalize my meals and food, which is perhaps the real goal Beck has in mind with this task. When food has it’s “place” and isn’t spread all over my front of the computer, when I’m watching a movie, when I’m making dinner, when I’m eating on the fly, its impact on me is greatly diminished. The better I get at slowing down and paying attention, and the more that food is assigned to it’s designated places, the less food thoughts will come to me when I’m doing things that actually have nothing to do with my eating, despite the enticement of ... say...a TV commercial.

I see the need to do this as reasonable for my long-term success, so even though I continue to move along in the book, I continue to practice the “old” tasks each day as well. That’s where the logic behind the growing task checklist comes in for me each day. It will take me a long time to master some of these tasks. I just remind myself that each day gives me a new opportunity to practice.

Long-windedly <smile> that brings me to today … goal setting. Ever since I can remember, as I readied myself to “diet” or whatever, again….I would “work the numbers”, figure calories in, expenditures out, my average weight and estimated daily calories consumed and saved and worked off. I’d come up with a goal weight (always a far stretch from my current weight) and a goal date (as near in the future as these worked and reworked numbers would allow.). And feeling like I could conquer the world, set off on a fresh new plan to get thin quickly, once and for all.

Of course, instead, I’d always fail really quickly. No human being who loves and depends on and relates to food like I do could do anything but fail such a brutal regimen.

But in my mind, still, lingers the need to get to goal quickly.

This is where I most love Beck’s comment….that in a few years, who will care how long it took. I mean, come on!! Haven’t I been trying to lose this weight for the past 4 years? What if I had just taken my time and lost slowly over the course of many months back then, instead of setting myself up for failure. Gee, I bet that at least I’d be thinner right now.

And if this is something I plan to do for the rest of my life… then really does it matter whether I lose 5 or 3 or 0 pounds this week, if I am consistently as possible refining the behavior…getting a grip…changing my relationship to food…day by day… step by step. Ultimately, it's the behavior alone, and the mindset that brings us to do it, that matter.

Soooooo.... tonight I am going to drag my mind, kicking and screaming as it might be, to help me devise a new set smaller scaled goals, to reward the behavior accomplished and not just the end results = pounds lost.
I can't wait to see what I come up with. <smile>

I really love this program. I can feel myself changing every day and I am so very encouraged.

Have a great day my friends!


03-18-2008, 04:27 PM
A quick pop in. To say I need to shower because I just finished working out. I did 8 MILES!!! It was the 4 fast miles and when I finished I still felt energy so I restarted it. I'm so happy and tired. I didn't jog. Geez I think I'm ready to start the exercise part of Beck.

03-18-2008, 09:23 PM
Checking in,I had a good day today foodwise.Swam yesterday 44 laps,getting back into the exercise after everyone is getting back to healthy.Both kids just have a remaining cough and are back at school.Been onplan since Fri,amazes me sometimes because I have not had so many onplan days in a row ever before on diets.Even today struggling through makeup school work feeling pretty good.Beck works!

03-18-2008, 11:35 PM
Seachild: I LOVE the idea of measuring success through the behaviors versus the number on the scale. It reminds me of assessing my students. I tell them that they should be focusing on their "behaviors that promote learning" like turning in work, listening, following directions, etc.. If they put in the effort, the results will be the best they can possibly be. I hate getting all hung up on the scale and wasn't when I started. I realized while reading your post that I have let my mind stray in that way... thank you! I am beginning right now, going to focus on reading the advantage cards. I think that I will read ONE advantage at a time to focus on and then, a few hours later, read one more, etc... It is easier for me to focus on one than read through my list. I become "unmindful" about reading them sometimes if I am honest with myself.

Mesmerize-you are on FIRE! Glad you are feeling in the groove!!!

gahundy: that plan sounds pretty high maintenance with how busy you are..take the path that you feel best about and try not to feel guilty or like you are "doing it wrong". It sounds like in your post that it is causing you big stress-find a plan that is realistic for your life. I keep thinking about BBE and his saying that he knew from the beginning that he wanted to be able to eat the same from the beginning as he did in maintenance (bad paraphrasing but you get the idea).

Things are super busy right now for me and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am eating just great (kudos to me!), doing a fair amount of unplanned exercise but not much planned exercise lately. I am TIRED and just want to go to bed at night after dd is in bed. I had planned to walk around the track while DD was at soccer practice but all the other parents were there to watch every little move their kids made at practice. I enjoy watching her a lot too but really wanted to walk. I caved into peer pressure, not wanting to be "the mom that would rather go away and do her own thing"... I am sure that the parents were not thinking a thing about it but just hanging out during practice. I am going skiing on Sunday with DD and my dad and some friends which will feel good to do again.

Still thinking about "how much do I really care about doing this"? I really think that using all of my advantages on separate cards will help me with this. It is usually that I care more about one or two than the others at different times. I care about all of them of course but different ones are more important/relevant on different days.

Off to put DD to bed... goodnight, Heidi

03-19-2008, 02:50 AM
Hello all,

A great quiet day here on the coast. -really feel like I can follow Beck when it is just Dh and myself and we eat all meals at home. It is throwing in company, parties, traveling, eating out, family/friends gatherings that old ways comes back. So happy to be home even cancelled our visit to San Francisco for Easter dinner with friends. Great people just need to be in my routines to insure eating and exercising success.

I have thinking about using index cards of common meals I eat to record and pre plan meals-sort of my own dial a meal set of cards-versus writing out the stuff-has anyone else done something like this? I use fitday but get tired of getting on the computer to record everything after meals.

BillBlueEyes-swimming loves comes my early days in Minn -could swim alone across lakes for hours-yet my mom forbid me to read a bike until I was 12-too dangerous (?). Both Dh and I love the water-I love being in it and he loves being on it boating. Yeah, learning to take care of my self and seperating myself from other's expectations is a tough one for me. Like wise when you learn the magic let me know. Plus do i understand the security of home for healthy eating success-even to have food prepared with out tons of salt, oils, sugar.

Seachild-I so agree about the real task is changing behavior not white knuckling a diet for a quick big loss of lbs.(done that so many times only to re gain everything and more) It has taken me about 2 yrs to lose 70 lbs.-really lost it-some 2- 5 lb set back but always re-lose the short term gains. I do go some short binges-this I am working to understand and stop-but most importantly I go back to Beck and then alway lose more weight again.

Wendylan-44 laps is a heck of lot-sound great to me. Glad that Beck is working for you.

Gahundy-It took me a bit of time to find the right eating plan. It is so important that it be easy to follow and be healthy. Ladybugnessa had right idea about the important types of foods. I think the thing for you is what is right amount cals and portion of carb/fat and protein for you to lose weight. I feel better with more protein that many diets recommend-I just feel better and less hunger with it. the biggest thing that I have learned is how to cook and enjoy tons of veggies-more than I ever had before. I do get a monthly mag about cooking lite. I like the pics of low cal food recipes. Plus almost every type of food now comes with the Calorie listing on the package-so I use that when having a treat. For me it like being a budget-just so many cal to spend each day and tend to use them to get the most food I can but will occassionally spurge on an indulgence. good Luck

Mezmerize-talk about you can't keep a good woman down. You are amazing. Plus the idea of can't eat unless sitting down is really powerful. To your continued success.

Ladybugnessa-hope you find some exercising you enjoy. I would love to do the gym but have too much joint pain, walking- got spur, ect ect, -return to swimming as can't fall, joints are all supported in the water, along with being very soothing for me. I occasionally use "sit and be fit" types of tapes-it is something but doesn't get as cardo I would like.

onebyone-Many find smaller and more meals so much better. I finally reduced my dinner cals somewhat so I could have an afternoon snack-like it. Congradulating for graduating from the clean plate club and into the I can let extra food go-one heck of a tough lesson for us of the clean plate but overweight club.

Howdy Heidi-I think it is a hugh success to feel overwhelmed and Still eating on plan. Could a Yoga dvd work when you are tired? Often I find yoga some exercising but also so relaxing at the same time.-streching is easier that doing the track yet the body and mind do become more restful.

best wishes to all- a wave to any one I accidentally missed

03-19-2008, 06:54 AM
Diet Coaches – Ate on plan; brushed my teeth; life goes on. CREDIT moi. Double CREDIT moi for giving myself credit for the simple steps when it feels embarrassing to do so. Big food issue in my immediate life comes from strawberries being on sale for $1.50 for a pound box. I bought three. That's a lot of strawberries for DW and I to eat. Time for too many strawberries; life is good.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for being establishing your cadence at home staying on eating and exercise plans. Your idea of "dial a meal set of cards" sounds stellar. Beck, herself, suggests that after a while we can do a more global meal planning rather than a day by day plan. That's what I've done. My breakfasts and lunches are selected from a rather small set with many small variations, so I've written those down and just choose from them. Maybe I should give them numbers so I can select by number like we used to do at Chinese restaurants. Good luck.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for "eating just great" and Kudos for giving yourself credit for staying on plan. Good luck with the tired and overwhelmed - both provide such good support for Sabotaging Thoughts. Sounds wise to be working your Advantages Card.

wendy (wendylan) - Big Kudos for multiple days on plan. And Kudos for 44 laps - my mind boggles at the thought of that much swimming, hats off to you. Sounds great that you have your kids well enough to be back in school so you can get life back into a rhythm.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Hope El Nino is feeling better. Just pondering your clear thinking, " isn't going to fix tired and stressed. It only fixes hungry. Rest and organizing fixes tired and stressed." Good for me to be reminded that being organized reduces the temptation to eat to reduce the confusion from being disorganized.

Mez (mezmerize) - Big Kudos for 8 miles. You're really going there. Good luck in finding your balance between recovery and exercising; sounds like you're doing just great.

Cammie (CammieCam) - Kudos for not being derailed and getting right back on track. I like your straight forward, "It's okay. I'm okay."

onebyone – Retroactively sending good luck for last night venture to the slots, LOL. Kudos for clear thinking about procrastination and its impact on all of life, including eating and exercise plans. I'm in need of help on this one. When I procrastinate in any one part of RL, all other parts suffer as I feel the burden of not acting responsibly. Perhaps this is a place in my life for me to work the (almost completely ignored) Beck's Program-day 27: Master the Seven Questions Technique. Procrastination must be serving me some useful purpose since I engage it so often.

amy (gahundy) – You wrote, "...maybe i will just use this thread for my coach, whatcha say...everybody want to be my coach?" You bet; sign me up. First thought as a diet coach: Kudos for thinking clearly about your diet plan before beginning. It's a realistic thought that your plan must feel right, and that includes: convenient enough to fit into your life, eating food that you really like, eating (when possible) the same food you cook for DH, having choices when you eat out, and having a readily available support group on the same plan (e.g. a 3FC group).

So, from reading your comments, my take is that you'd be wise to drop your plan A altogether and re-select your Plan A and Plan B. There are many plans that you can move into by incremental steps that become a permanent part of your life; my belief is to go there to avoid the need to transition from your diet mode to your maintenance mode. But, whatever you choose, it should feel right to you. Good luck on making your decision here. (Note, by chance, the quote from Beck to Readers below.)

Ellen (SeaChild) - Your thought is really useful to me, " reward the behavior accomplished and not just the end results = pounds lost." Gotta remember to give myself Kudos for staying on plan, not for scale responses. And I also fall into the behavior you describe, "But if I lag behind... and I get a few days linked together without it... I'm done. And then have to remotivate to get going." Thanks for those.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Kudos for engaging "a live diet coach." Few of us have done that. Sending supportive thoughts for getting back on plan. When I drift, extra readings of my Advantages Card helps me out. Good luck.

Readers – “… You’ll also need to solve some psychological problems, such as:
• Feeling overwhelmed by the requirements of your diet. … “ Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-19-2008, 08:55 AM
Heidi… As the list of my advantages has grown, I also sometimes find myself reading them mindlessly, especially if I’m reading them when I’m in a rush, or when there are others around and I feel self conscious (I’m sure they probably couldn’t care less, though the secretary at my office one time asked me “What are you doing? Yikes. <g>) But I do like to let things mull around my brain, and sometimes one or two advantages mean tons more than lots of the others. Starting today, I’m going to choose one at a time and give it a couple of hours to “expand my mind”. So thanks! That’s a perfect idea for me. <smile>

I also had to laugh at your giving in to peer pressure. Heidi, I am always the mom who goes off to do her own thing. I’m sure “they” think that I’m antisocial… hmmm…maybe I am. But I just have too much that I need and WANT to do. I love my daughters but it’s my life too.

By the time I got home around 8 last night, I was so tired that I didn’t do the new goal setting plan justice, so for the first time since I started I’m going to do this Beck day over. As far as rewarding behavior…I’m not sure how to go about it. I do log some kinds of things daily on an excel sheet, and of course, there’s the daily mental checklist in the book. What kinds of rewards do you offer your students for their behavior? Or is the end result the reward?

I did think of a couple of things I’m going to do. The book gives the idea of the charm bracelet, but I don’t think that would work for me. I’m not a jewelry person and I don’t like the idea of carrying around those five pound “charms” even if they do represent goals reached. I love symbolic gestures. I really do. But I want a gesture to represent permanently releasing the weight I lose.

So I decided that for each pound I lose, I will choose an item of clothing that will represent that pound and I’ll hold it in my closet until I have 5 gathered (meaning I’ve reached my 5 lb goal) and then I’m going to give them away to the local hospital thrift shop. (That is, the ones that somebody else might want. Some of the stuff I have, that I’ve actually worn because I feel so heavy and want to hide… I’m serious… I wouldn’t be insulted if a bag lady turned them down. These the are “things” about being heavy that I want to release permanently. The lowered self esteem. The giving up of regular haircuts and such. The wearing of baggy dark ugly clothes, because I guess it reflects my inner need to hide my body. I’m so sick of being ashamed.)

Anyway. I’m also going to take a photo of each of the items of clothes representing each lost pound and set up a photo folder in my computer where I can look at what I hope will be a gathering storm.... a symbol of what I’ve unloaded. Hopefully I’ll have a closet full of photos by the time I’m “done”.

I’m sure this sounds corny, and it is, but it feels perfect for me. <smile>

I’ve gotta run, and I see lots more comments have posted since I started to write this. Good morning to everybody. I’ll come back later to see you guys and see how you're doing. Love this group!

Happy hump day,

03-19-2008, 10:50 AM
Good morning beckies and coaches!
thanks for all the great diet advice, i guess i just wanted to make sure that i wasn't just making excuses. when i read over my plan b diet, it recommended a diet very similar to the plan a diet. so i think basically it is the one i should do but i am going to try to simplify it for myself. i know i am not supposed to start a "diet" yet but i am going to tweak the plan to fit my life and see how it works, if it is not working when it is time to officially start my diet then i will pick something else. but i can't wait another week, i have got to start something NOW!! i have gained 3 pounds since stopping carbonated beverages and starting Beck. not a good sign for me, i am getting very discouraged, especially since my friend has lost 60 pounds since october. ok so she had wls but that doesn't really make me feel any better. i'm sorry for rambling i just am having a bad morning and am getting VERY frustrated with the whole thing...i refuse to accept that this is how my body is supposed to be to function. i don't want to be super model thin but i do want to be healthy and the truth is i am just NOT!

03-19-2008, 11:33 AM
Coastal Sue…I haven’t had the pleasure of reading many posts from you since I believe that your computer connection was giving out right around the time that I started here. Yay on the 70 lbs! Like Beck says, who really cares how long it took now that it’s gone! Two years ago I weighed pretty close to what I weigh now, though I was always on a diet, trying to lose, while those two years spelled success for you. Slow and steady is the obvious wisdom to be gathered here.

Right now, I’m eating more daily calories than I have ever allowed myself when I was in diet mode before. Let me tell you Sue, this one is very hard for me. I feel that if I’m not hungry when I go to bed at night, then I must be doing something wrong and the negative thoughts start flying around… like...I know I’ll never take these pounds off. It really makes me crazy. But I do let the crazy thoughts go, and just keep the focus on what I’m learning will be my new lifestyle. (hmmmm *credit* for that thinking. <smile>)

BillBE…Welcome back. Your comments to everyone are so supportive and kind. I’m here to learn CBT for weight loss and you are one good teacher (and still a humble learner… which I really admire.) Thanks for your comments.

Nessa…Sending you positive thoughts to support you getting back on track. Remember … we’re only human. You have lots of WL to credit yourself with.

Amy… Wow… sounds like you’re driving yourself crazy like I do to myself. Some of these diet plans are full time jobs! <smile> Hope your second choice helps you to simplify so you can focus on the Beck challenges.

Mez…Glad you’re feeling better. 8 !! miles. You must be feeling healthy! <g>

Wendylan…Yay Beck. I love hearing how this program leads to success. More, more, more!! <smile>

Onebyone… I am also thinking about breaking up my meals into 5 mini meals. I’m going to wait until that scary “Skip a meal” or whatever day gets accomplished first. That one makes me nervous. I hate to admit it, but hunger DOES feel like an emergency to me. I can’t believe how pertinent to me, all these “lessons” are. At my age...I'm a beginning learner.

I am grateful for all the posts here. I feel guilty sometimes when I don’t have a chance to respond personally to everyone.

My best to you all in your daily challenges and success!


03-19-2008, 03:43 PM
day 7: arrange your home and office (or something like that)
office: no problem, everyone here is VERY health conscious and therefore treats are rare and it will be no problem for me to put them in the pantry or fridge should they come in.
home: again, no problem, i buy the groceries so i just won't buy any of the foods that aren't on my plan.
still debating about the plan. i jsut think it has the potential to really work for me, i just have to figure out how to work it.
anyway day 7 is complete, time to move on....amy

03-19-2008, 04:25 PM
Hi everyone,

Day 31 here....time just flies when you're having fun!!! Still doing very well with my food and moi!

Big credit to me today...I do write down my food in the morning almost every day, but I don't usually feel the need to plan my schedule, since it's pretty simple....meal time comes at natural breaks in my day and standard hours, snack times in between, and exercise either late afternoon or right after dinner. But, today's schedule was all jumbled with appointments at 7:45, 10:00, 1:00 and 4:00. So, I sat down this morning and wrote my schedule for activities, including exercise and eating for the day. I rearranged my typical eating pattern, but kept to my normals foods and overall quantities. It felt so good to start the day with it figured out. In the past a day like this would have been an opportunity for overeating, unhealthy foods, and junk on the run. Instead, I'm sitting here, leaving soon for my 4:00 meeting, feeling good about myself, healthier and more energetic, having just enjoyed my salad of mixed greens, interesting vegetables, and feta cheese.

On the other hand, I'm still not where I want to be with conscious, undistracted eating. I've got the sitting down happening almost all the time, but when I'm not eating with other people, I find it very hard to let go of distractions and sit quietly by myself. I seem to NEED reading material, the computer, or TV most of the time.

03-19-2008, 05:08 PM
Hey Bill! ** waving** Welcome back!

barbpos - Good job on planning out your day. That feeling of being in control is wonderful, isn't it?
I too struggle with the whole "eat slowly and mindfully" thing. I need some kind of distraction as well, especially at work when I eat lunch. I use that time to relax, eat and watch TV (Yes I can watch TV at work). It's what I look forward to in addition to my meal, so I see no need to deprive myself of that little hour of happiness and a break in my day.

I'm on Day 6, pick a diet coach, which I guess is all of you. :) So I'm just checking in.

03-19-2008, 05:25 PM
hi everyone,

i just needed to stop in - my day is crazy and my eating has been out of control for several days. I blamed TOM, I blamed the roadtrip, but basically I've been comfort-bingeing for several days now, and I feel terrible. too exhausted to work out and cookies everywhere at work. i know others have been through this, and i just wanted to stay accountable and honest even if i don't feel powerful enough to stop right now. that's all - have to finish some stuff up so i have enough time to pump before heading off to class.

thanks for just being here!!!

03-19-2008, 07:02 PM
afternoon ladies... your good vibes helped i'm back on phase 1 of south beach for a few days.

of course everything else went to **** in a handbasket today as i spent most of the day in the emergency room with my DH. He has severe cellulitis of his leg (2 weeks after the really bad accident) but he was able to come home but with lots of meds and the orders to rest his leg elevated.

03-19-2008, 08:36 PM
hbuchwald – Maybe you could talk with your DD about how you might want to take a walk while she’s practicing. Skiing sounds like fun fun fun! I haven’t done that since hight school… way to many years ago.

coastalsue – I to have a hard time trying to balance gatherings. I try to have a glass of water in my hand at all times. People tend not to hand you stuff if you are holding something.

BillBlueEyes – Starwberries sound so good! You can always wash and freeze some and use them for smooties this summer or to give water a lift. When I 1st started my weight loss journey I would put a slice of lemon in my water. Now I put all fruit. I put blueberries, strawberries, and cherries in my ice cube trays with water. It adds a bit of flavor to my water and looks so pretty and I can still use them in smooties.

SeaChild – What a wonderful way to bring closure to losing 5 lbs. Not only do you benefit but someone else. Kudos!

Today I got my last staple out and I didn’t feel a thing. That is until I got home. I was so sore and I’m not sure why. So I thought since I watch the grandkids I best take it easy. I had them weight me there and I was 202 lbs. (I was dressed so not exact) I’m happy but later I was having such a problem when I was feeding the grandkids lunch. I wanted to munch away. I really need to get my mind set back to being with them. It’s so much easier to be on plan when I don’t have them. I guess my time off has spoiled me. On a good note I made chicken noodle soup for them since they had colds and they didn’t eat but 2 bites . I hated doing it but did it anyways. I threw out the soup. I have to stay away from pasta since I always see a gain.

03-20-2008, 01:18 AM
Coastalsue: I actually thought that I was going to do the index card recording thing and have started it but don’t really use it like I thought that I would. It is just dd and I so I end up using the stuff I cook on the weekends during the week with lots of repeats so I write it on this whiteboard in the kitchen. I do put the upcoming recipes on the cork board part to remind myself of what is “on deck” to record the next week. It isn’t “neat and tidy” but it is what is working!

Your advice on the yoga dvd is so timely. I had reserved one at the library online after getting that idea from you awhile back and just picked it up at the library tonight. I may do that or walk on the treadmill and watch tv at the same time. I feel a bit better today so that is good!

BillBlueEyes: Strawberry season is here/coming-yahoooooo!

Seachild: I USUALLY don’t have a problem at all with being the mom who does her own thing…just got caught in this moment for some reason..It is so true that we must live our lives too, even DD gets that on some level when I explain to her what “mommy time” does for me (lets me take a break from taking care of others, take care of myself and makes me more calm…).

About my students…I don’t reward them for behavior besides acknowledging them for doing nice things or improving or doing their best, etc… I really don’t want them dependent on extrinsic motivators (can’t say that they don’t get a piece of candy peridocailly for cleaning the floor extra well though…)… I just try to have them FOCUS on the effort part the most instead of the end result of the academic grades. Some kids are really low and I want them to do their best and improve as much as they can for that period of time. I want the same for the above average students and kids in between. They and their parents are often very worried about “grades”.... which is so much like the number on the scale thing… the grades will be appropriate for each kid if/when the effort is put forth on everyone’s part.

I love what you will do for each pound of weight lost-getting rid of a piece of clothing. I have been getting rid of the clothing as soon as I notice it is too baggy. You could make a collage of the photos printed out to hang in your closet if that would do it for said, “storm” and it made me think “art project” of some kind.

Gahundy: hang in there….you are on your way to finding what will work for you in an eating plan.

Barbpos: Wow-excellent work on scheduling out that crazy day of yours. There is a security in having a plan ahead of time isn’t there?

Cammiecam: That’s right-do what works for you! I use the group as my coach also-it is the best!

Kuhljeanie: Hugs to you….thanks for checking in…those days/times are hard. Just say the word if there is anything anyone can do to help…

Nessa: Yowch on the cellucitis! Hope he heals quickly… great work on getting back on your plan.

Mesmerize: actually, DD is FINE with me doing the walking-I just had a moment…  Love the frozen fruit in the ice idea!

03-20-2008, 07:08 AM
Diet Coaches – Feels so good to be reminded that the seasons are shifting; they always have; they always will. I can procrastinate all I want but the earth dutifully travels around the sun on schedule. I made wise choices at a potluck yesterday, including a small taste of chocolate bread (kinda like a less sweet, more chewy brownie). CREDIT moi. Was thinking about skipping gym because of schedule crunch, but recalled how hard the mothers of young kids in this group must work to fit in their exercise, so I was inspired to squeeze in a weight lifting session. CREDIT moi. And, of course, got to drink my protein shake (within 15 minutes afterwards) that is going to make my muscles grow. CREDIT moi and good luck growing those. [That reminds me. Does anyone remember the ads in the back of comic books for Queen Bee Jelly to make breasts grow? Did it work?]

Sue (CoastalSue) - Waving. Hope you were swimming yesterday while I had to skip my lunchtime walk due to sleety rain/snow. [Tell little Mary she can come out of her room now.]

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Hope all is going well despite being busy. Yes, doesn't the thought of strawberry season just make you drool for the fresh fruits and vegetable to come.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Kudos for staying accountable and honest with your eating struggles. Sending supporting thoughts that you get your sea legs back even while you live your exhausting schedule for these next two months. It's good to recall that you're counting down the period of very-way-too-much-over-committed-super busy. It will pass.

Mez (mezmerize) - Congrats for losing the last staple. BIG Kudos for tossing the soup that wasn't right for you. You also deserve credit for speaking so calmly about your grandkids who didn't drink the soup that you so lovingly made. Of course that's the rational attitude, but I recall with my own kids that the rational attitude wasn't always the one I felt at the time. And thanks for the good strawberry ideas.

Cammie (CammieCam) - You wrote, "I'm on Day 6, pick a diet coach, which I guess is all of you." Accepting the job, here. Kudos for moving forward. Thanks for the welcome.

barbpos – Kudos for scheduling your jumbled day - so much is gained when we acknowledge our difficulties in advance rather than hope that we will intuitively struggle through the morass. BIG Kudos for giving yourself credit. Kudos for moving along to Program-day 31: Decide About Drinkilng. I share your struggle with eating without distractions. I'm trying to make the distinction between mindless distractions, e.g. TV, versus mindful activity, e.g. reading the morning paper, since I read the morning paper with my breakfast. But, I haven't found my argument particularly compelling. In fact they seem like constructed self justification, so I'm still working on that.

amy (gahundy) – Kudos for marching along through Program-day 7. Kudos for continuing to work to get clear about your diet plan. And even Kudos for choosing to work at a place where "everyone here is VERY health conscious." That's kinda unusual; how did that come about?

Ellen (SeaChild) - Kudos for struggling for clarity in your food plan, and double Kudos for giving yourself credit for that. Your reward system that combines clearing out your closet is genius. Thanks for your supporting words.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Big Kudos for getting back on the beach for a few days. Ouch for your DH's cellulitis. Wishing him a speedy recovery and wishing his caregiver some sanity during the stressful times.

Readers – "… You’ll also need to solve some psychological problems, such as:
• Feeling deprived. … " Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-20-2008, 09:01 AM
Hello Coaches.

I had a really hectic day yesterday. We picked up a rental car (I always feel happy when we do that) because we are off on an overnight trip this morning to see Wayne Newton! I am not a fan of the man, but he's a "legend" and I wanted to see his show. I'm afraid I've had bits of "Daddy Don't You Walk Too Fast" and "Daunkenschein" (sp?) going thorugh my head. I am *hoping* to see an over-the-top Vegas style show! That's what I want! I called and asked if cameras were allowed and they said no :( and I am debating taking it anyway. But it's not a small camera it's big and bulky. Maybe I'll shove a disposable in my bag and they can take that away if they need to. I did buy a small 4" x 6" sketchbook to bring with me! I know it seems ridiculous but it strikes me as a grand opportunity to get something very interesting and unique. Great fodder for paintings or prints or ceramic sculptures in the future. So. I'm excited. Foodwise I am planning the day and the road food. It's a 5 hour drive. And only an overnight. I plan to stay on plan. I had my second weigh-in this morning and I am down 0.6. It makes it an even 4lbs for my two weeks and that's fantastic. I had lots of sodium yesterday when I unexpectedly was asked to lunch by my ceramic studio boss Penelope. We ate Japanese which I've never really done and in my vegetarian bento box we many deep fried tempura veggies. I had miso soup. And bean curd fried dumpling. I was surprised at all the fried things and I didn't want the sushi box which would have been the lunch special alternative. In the morning we went out for diner breakfast so lunch compounded breakfast. That I still showed a loss at all this morning with all that extra sodium is great.
So I am reading the travel chapter, taking my book with me and taking the laptop so I can check in and stay connected. I can do a lot of damage in a day if I don't have a plan.

Sorry I don't have time for personals... hope to say hello to everyone later on!

All the best!

03-20-2008, 09:38 AM
Good morning coahes and friends...

Jeanne: it's great to hear from you even if you are struggling. actually it helps me for others to post when they are struggling, it reminds me that i am not alone in my struggles and that even if i can't follow the program i can still come and get support.

Mez: GREAT JOB on tossing the soup. i don't have so much of a problem with tossing food out but it is very hard for my mom so i kinda get how you feel about keeping it. also GREAT idea about putting fruit in ice cubes, i love it!! and will definetly try it. i have been putting lemon or lime juice in my water, i can't to try something else.

barb: congrats on planning your schedule so well and planning on how to deal with all the craziness that comes with a hectic schedule. i know you will have a great day b/c of that!

Nessa: good luck on phase one. i did it once and felt horrible (i gotta have my carbs) but i know you can do this, you have done it before and you will be back where you want to be in no time! prayers to hubby, hope he recovers soon.

Bill: first of all, i just have to ask, why do you want your breasts to grow? :) and secondly i have never heard that queen bee jelly could do that. i know it supposed to be great for allergies and that sort of thing, but i have never tried it so i can't say.
about my job: i do medical billing and also reception work for a cardiac rehab office of a large medical clinic. on the same floor with us is a wellness center (basically a medically based gym). so i spend my day watching people workout and drinking water. i am the most out of shape person in our facility. most of the staff are nurses and exercise physiolgist (personal trainers and aerobics instructors). i do have alot of support and encouragement from those i work with so that is great!
i also love when fresh fruits come out, especially those that are fragrant like strawberries and peaches.. i LOVE when the store puts out fresh ripe peaches!!
i almost forgot: credit to me for not stopping at a fast food place for bfast this morning!! it was a tough job talking myself out of it but i did it!! i came to work, grabbed a water bottle and a meal replacement protein bar ( i keep some at my desk for before workouts and just in case i don't have time for bfast).
have a great day everybody!!

03-20-2008, 10:12 AM
ah but phase 1 done right has tons of carbs....

i must do my own Beck work but i feel bad that i'm neglecting everyone else....

03-20-2008, 10:12 AM
hbuchwald –“About my students…I don’t reward them for behavior besides acknowledging them for doing nice things or improving or doing their best, etc… I really don’t want them dependent on extrinsic motivators (can’t say that they don’t get a piece of candy peridocailly for cleaning the floor extra well though…)… I just try to have them FOCUS on the effort part the most instead of the end result of the academic grades. Some kids are really low and I want them to do their best and improve as much as they can for that period of time. I want the same for the above average students and kids in between. They and their parents are often very worried about “grades”.... which is so much like the number on the scale thing… the grades will be appropriate for each kid if/when the effort is put forth on everyone’s part.”

I absolutely love what you wrote!

BillBlueEyes – Kudos on your food choices and working out! “[That reminds me. Does anyone remember the ads in the back of comic books for Queen Bee Jelly to make breasts grow? Did it work?]”

onebyone – I hope you have a wonderful trip!

gahundy – It’s great that you have the support at work. Kudos for not stopping at Fast Food great planning having those meal bars on hand.

Today I’m going to work out and read the fitness in Beck. Which I’ve been putting off for some odd reason I can’t come up with. Maybe it’s because if I think I have to I won’t want to. Not sure but read I must.

03-20-2008, 11:48 AM
Today I’m going to work out and read the fitness in Beck. Which I’ve been putting off for some odd reason I can’t come up with. Maybe it’s because if I think I have to I won’t want to. Not sure but read I must.

Mezmerize, this has been my problem for the last couple of days with BECK

Day 8 is plan to diet.... Create Time and Energy. I've been on SBD for nearly 2 years... working out, shopping, planning meals, listing my foods these are all things I'm already doing.... not sure what to do with Create time and energy

as for Exercise (day 9) I have a great plan but it's on hold with my injury...

if you are already exercising do you really need to work on it more?

03-20-2008, 12:12 PM
Nessa: if you are already doing it, check it off and move on. there are some steps that we may be doing before we start beck. just read the section to make sure you fully understand what she is asking for and if you do , check it and go!
just think of it as a habit already established!
GOOD JOB on days 8 & 9
Whooo hooo!!!

03-20-2008, 01:37 PM
Good morning everyone! Or well, good afternoon now I guess.

I was RAVENOUS this morning, but ate my planned apple instead of a bagel from the deli or something from the vending machine. It really does pay to plan food ahead of time so you're not stuck in these situations where you're hungry and have less than desirable options in front of you. I can't even say it was hunger really, since I had already eaten breakfast. I had a doctor's appointment this morning which took me out of my usual neighborhood and there were delis all over the place. All I could think about was a toasted bagel with butter. But I just told myself no. I had already eaten breakfast at home. (Which reminds me that I've realized that cereal in the morning isn't enough for me. I need something more substantial to tide me over until lunch). So I just passed those delis, and went to work. Lunch time now and since I ate the apple about an hour ago I'm not ravenous.. but still ready to eat. :)

Today: Day 7 - Arrange your Environment. This is something I've been doing for a while and am pretty good at it. I find it interesting that Beck recommends putting things out of sight, in the back of a closet or on high shelves, but for me, since I put it there, I'm not hiding it from anyone. I know where it is so if I wanna eat it, in a moment of weakness, trust me, I'm gonna eat it. Which really says to me that I don't even need to bring those foods into my house. I have these brief moments in the grocery store where I think I can handle having a bag of chips in the kitchen, but as evidenced from earlier this week with the crunchy cheese thingies, I just can't. It kinda sucks that I am unable to control myself, but Beck says to just say Oh well, deal with the disappointment and move on. I've resolved that I won't bring these binge-inducing foods into my kitchen no matter how I feel when I'm in the grocery store. I just have to do it.

Jeanie - Keep coming back! It will get easier.

Mez - I've often thrown food away and felt bad about it. But as Beck says it will either go to waste in the garbage can or in your body. With today's economy I feel especially bad throwing away good food, but if it's something I have to do to keep me from eating it then so be it. Good for you.

Bill - Inspiring as always. Along the lines of your post I wanted to share with you all a woman in my WW meeting, older woman who lives in an assisted living community. She's on WW but she's confined to the meals that are prepared for her in this community she lives in. She's requested certain things like low fat dressing for salads, dressing on the sides, etc, grilled chicken instead of fried, more fruit and veggie variety, etc., but since she's not buying her own foods and creating her own meals she's limited in her choices, but is still determined to make WW work for her and in 9 weeks she's lost 15 pounds. When she told us her story in my last meeting I said to myself "What am I complaining about?? If this woman can do it then surely I can." I really felt so small, like I had NO excuses. So I understand what you mean. I can't say it's easier for me because I have no children, but I can see how it would be difficult for a mom to fit in workouts and trying to eat right with raising a child and family. Kudos to them and to you.

Onebyone - Have fun with Wayne!

Off to eat lunch! Have a great day everyone!

03-20-2008, 02:31 PM
Woohoo Cammie good for you for saying NO to a yummy bagel with butter...

i hope you are eating more than an apple for breakfast.

gahudy thanks for the advice.... I don't want to 'cheat' at this... still working on eating slowly and mindfully!!!

03-20-2008, 03:13 PM
Cammie-try inculding some protein in the morning, maybe a slice of ww toast w/ pnut butter on it to go with your cereal. if i eat both carbs and protein it seems to last longer. great job on NOT stopping for a bagel. i know when i found out that i am allergic to wheat, the bagel was the thing i missed the most! have a great rest of your day!

03-20-2008, 03:37 PM
LOL! Yes I am definitely eating more than an apple for breakfast. I had a bowl of cereal with skim milk and two slices of turkey bacon. The turkey bacon is a staple, I have that every morning, but this was the first morning I had cereal with the bacon. It just wasn't enough, I needed something more substantial.

03-20-2008, 03:45 PM
i can't do cold cereal for breakfast... leaves me starving. i have to do oatmeal and an egg and v8 and there is milk fruit and smart balance in my oatmeal

CREDIT ME: i went to Ruby Tuesdays and ate on plan came home had coffee (i always have coffee when i come home) and then i saw the pistachios and i wanted them and i counted out my 30 but because they were not planned I PUT THEM BACK!

03-20-2008, 04:13 PM
ladybugnessa – “if you are already exercising do you really need to work on it more? “

Yes I do since I feel that any time I will can just stop cold. I’m sure it is one of the many mental games that run though my head. I just know that I’m not comfortable with that part of Beck right now.

CammieCam – I’ve found that if I eat some low fat protein with my fruit it keeps me full. My breakfast is cream of wheat (comfort food reminds me of home) I make it with water. I put a small package of raisins in it some benafiber powder a few crushed walnuts a splash of vanilla soy milk. I drink water and sometime finish my cup of coffee with vanilla soy milk. I found this fills me up and I have more than enough energy for my workouts.

Today I did the 4 mile fast walk twice so 8 miles minus the jogging. I’m really hoping to be in onelander by April but I’ll not keep my hopes up. A good note I tried on all my spring clothes and nothing fits. All too big. So I am very happy.

03-20-2008, 05:07 PM
Mez: your bfast sounds yummy!! i love cream of wheat, i never thought about putting that many flavors in it! i will have to try that with oatmeal.
nessa: good job NOT eating an unplanned snack and GREAT job for staying on plan at Ru by Tuesdays! i just love that restaurant!

03-21-2008, 07:04 AM
Diet Coaches – The rain parted just in time for me to take my lunchtime walk. CREDIT moi. Because of an event last night I had to have a light dinner early (at 5:30 p.m.). I didn't think of food until I got home at 8:45 and had my evening snack of a Navel Orange. Nice to be reminded that when I'm in a place where food isn't available, I don't think about it, since when I'm at home, despite how busy I am, I sometimes think about the food that's in the fridge. It's a good reminder for me that it's desire not hunger.

Mez (mezmerize) - Good luck reading the "the fitness in Beck."

Cammie (CammieCam) - Kudos for sticking to plan with the apple snack. Sounds like you have a sound plan for breakfast and are just working the volume aspect - good luck with that. Thanks for the story of the woman who stayed on plan with institutional food; I agree with you, if she can do it then certainly I can.

onebyone – Congrats on the loss. Have a grand time as well as a safe trip to see Wayne Newton!

amy (gahundy) – LOL at "why do you want your breasts to grow?" Now you have me drooling for peaches. Kudos for skipping the fast food breakfast.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - You wrote "if you are already exercising do you really need to work on it more?" My take was that if I could complete the checklist, then I had "completed" the Program-day. So someone who is already working an eating plan and exercise plan easily goes through those check lists based on their current work. It did, however, take me 74 calendar days to do the 42 Program-days because I dawdled over some exercises, like the hunger day, until I actually did it. Good luck.

Readers – “… You’ll also need to solve some psychological problems, such as:
• Feeling discouraged when you don’t lose weight consistently or lose as much weight as you had hoped. …” Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-21-2008, 07:56 AM
Good morning fellow travelers!

My schedule has me in a whirl and I have not had a chance to check in here to do this site justice and read the posts. Hopefully I will have a chance later today to catch-up.

Today I’m working on Day 11…hunger…desire…craving. I’ve lagged a little. Exercise is still not where I want it to be and I’m putting off Day 12 (which I’ve nicknamed “Starvation Day”…scary for me) until a weekday when I’ll have more distractions and less easy access to food.

Just want to mention briefly my WI “experience” from yesterday.

My normal pattern…. for say ...WWs ...when I was on that program and weighing in each week at a meeting and losing really well… was to starve myself for a couple of days before WI. I HAD to starve myself before that WI, because after I had successfully dropped on the scales at the meeting each week… I would go home and EAT. Like a maniac sometimes. Anything and everything. And though I’d tell myself that I would stop after the day was over, sometimes this would go on for more than one day. Thus the starvation periods leading up to weigh day got longer and longer in order to still drop on the scales. Talk about a very sick unhealthy unbalanced way to be living.

This binge/starve mode of eating is my enemy. Making changes that I can live with and that will support my health and well being is its cure. And this is so very hard for me. It’s all in my thinking and my behaviors.

I know it has something to do with authority and rebellion. (Maryblu, I was also the first daughter in the family… but I was the deliberate and embattled black sheep and proud of it! LOL)

I was caught in a struggle…like “I’ll show that scale who’s the boss!” I hated those weigh ins. I felt like a captive and I fought against it. I felt lost and out of control.

Now I am slowly allowing myself to realize there is no authority…only my choices. I can choose to stay fat. Or I can choose a healthy balanced lifestyle that will support weight loss and maintenance. It’s up to me. And I’m going to ultimately make that choice anyway with each bite that I take, so I might as well be “armed” with the alternatives I’m learning from Beck. It’s powerful.

After my bingy kind of behavior last week… my first inclination was to starve the following day. And it’s more than an inclination… it’s a drive, it’s so embedded in my second nature. But Beck says don’t… just calm down and move on and eat normally. Wow. I did that against everything inside me telling me to do otherwise, and it was great. I felt great. I felt free.

I weighed in yesterday. And despite eating more calories consistently each day over the last week and even with the lapse into trigger food, I still lost 1.5 pounds. I was shocked. I still can’t believe it.

And I didn’t binge at all yesterday. I broke a pattern. I am sure it’s not gone forever. But if I continue to do this consistently, I think that eventually it will be gone…. for good.

It feels so good just to write this down. Kudos me for believing in Beck against every fiber in me that told me not to.

Happy Friday my dear friends!


03-21-2008, 09:32 AM
Ellen: you are well on your way to overocming this struggle! i am also glad that you still lost weight so that you could see that even with a lapse (on occasion) you are still on the right track, which makes it easier for you to stay there.

03-21-2008, 11:26 AM
good morning. read my day "set realistic goals" at the dentist this morning waiting for DH who had eight (yes EIGHT) teeth pulled... home now taking care of him.

I can easily set 5 pound goals. I've lost 5 pounds 11 times so far. now i'm 2 more pounds from the next 5 goal... I can do this.

thinking of having my reward be to be a small ladybug tattoo for each 5 I lose from now on.

03-21-2008, 08:46 PM
Hello coaches

I'm back from my whirlwind trip to see Wayne Newton. I am really glad I saw his show. His voice wasn't good. It cracked and faded in and out and when he talked it warbled like old people's voices can do. He mentioned being on the Dancing with the Stars tour, 45 cities in 45 days, and then he played two nights at the casino where we were. I kept wanting him to rest his voice. Even with this, the show, and Wayne, was everything I hoped it would be. DH and I had a great time with the over-70 crowd around us .... AND on top of all that he sang Mack the Knife. Awesome. And played an electric fiddle?! Who knew? I didn't. I was laughing asking DH if he could feel the "sexual tension" in the air. I tell you, many of those ladies would have gone to Wayne's room in a second! It bodes well for my future sex life, that there will still be one haha!

So, to important things now coaches. Foodwise I didn't do too well. I did not stick to plan. I overate. But not to really really stuffed, only to overfull, and this includes one meal at a buffet. I kept thinking of BillBlueEyes and his post one day where he said he was allowed seconds of soup and salad and nothing more. I didn't have seconds of anything but made sure I ate soup first. And slowly. But there were some changes. I wrote down what I ate. And like I said I was at a buffet and only took one plate, no seconds, and filled up with soup. I did some bored eating in the car. Not good. I would have been fine WW points foodplan-wise had I not eaten in the car. We got home this afternoon and once in the door I have been a bit of an eating machine here at home. I've stopped now. I foolishly stepped on the scale when we came home and saw 258. I said to myself "oh you can only lose like 3 pounds before tomorrow's weighin so you're going to be higher than last week again. And so this week is going to end as a failure for you." So after this negative self-talk, I came downstairs and ate some more. argh. But I've stopped now.
And I am here posting.
And what's a pound or two or three? It's most likely water weight.
Most positively, I did swim for 30 minutes at the hotel yesterday and I did the treadmill this morning for 20 sweaty minutes. I didn't throw everything Beck has taught me out the window. Far from it. I just could not manage to stay totally on my foodplan while away so I feel down about that. I don't want to see weight gain and that's all. I am really glad I went though.

ladybugnessa Wow having 8 teeth pulled at one time is a lot. He is lucky to have you there for him! And congrats on all your weightloss to date. you are so close to the next 5. I find it hard to figure out what kind of reward I really want. Ladybug tattoos sound cute.

gahundy Recently I tried mixing a serving of peanut butter into my oatmeal for a protein boost. I kind of liked it, I think? It was suggested to me by a WW member who has maintained her loss for 2 years now so I take advice from her seriously.

SeaChild I so relate to the binge/starve cycle especially related to wanting the scale show a "good" number. I am fighting that thinking today, right now, as I write this. For me it's a prime example of self-deception, as if I can even control the scale anyway. I can't. It will give me whatever number it wants. I cannot will it to do anything ever. I can stick to my plan. I can stay positive. I can get back on plan if I am wavering or off altogether. It's great you're getting real insight on this binge/starve cycle. I too have made progress with it. It's really a big part of me carrying so much weight for so long. I can see Beck helping with it. Thanks for your post on this topic.

BillBlueEyes I fought off a lot of food desire over my trip. I gave in to others. But judging by how I feel right now, I wish I would have stayed the course. It's a positive sign, in a back handed way, as I can see that I do really want this to work. And your past words regarding eating out came in handy so thank you for your thoughtful posts.

mezmerize Great going keeping up with all those workouts. Those 4 mi dvd's are challenging. You should be very proud to do it once, let alone twice! No doubt you will see onederland. It's sure to happen.

CammieCam I've resolved that I won't bring these binge-inducing foods into my kitchen no matter how I feel when I'm in the grocery store. I just have to do it.
There are certain foods that I can't have around me. I really will eat them. In the car on the trip there were 6 mini chocolate eggs. I, without thought, greedily took 3 for DH and 3 for me from the reception desk at the school where I work right before we started out for our long drive. I ate my 3 really fast. DH ate one. I kept looking at his 2 shiny ones in the bottom of the cupholder and at one point about 2 hours into the drive I ate one of his. Oh he was mad! he said it was like living with a kid. I thought "He doesn't want this. if he did he would have eaten it by now." uh, wrong. So, there's a clear example of my inability to stop sometimes. If I hadn't have taken them I would have stayed on plan and not had that scene with DH. Live and learn.

03-22-2008, 03:03 AM
Hello All,

currently very over helmed due to a number of things-Like you Onebyone I have not thrown out everything I have learned from Beck-some good stuff has remained with me but really struggling with using food to cope with the feelings of being overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted and ill. It is that tough one of desire versus hunger. I am overeating which is underming my behavior changes but the good new it is healthy stuff-that is all I have the house. Still too old nasty habits are cropping back-too much food and late night eating. Very busy day Sat. but really hope to swim tomarrow-did get an hr in today-it windy and freezing. While the burning of cals and strengthing is important right now I just love how calm I feel swimming. But the most important goal for me tomarrow is Not to eat after dinner. We have more rounds of activities then a healing lull will happen starting after Sunday.

I have working on Beck for months and here I am again coping with desire. I can hear myself say that I know I am not hungry-that I trying to use food to "reward" me and make me feel "better". I know it is a lie but there I am overeating. I am not hopeless but sure annoyed with myself!! this too will pass and I will return to again be successful using all the skills of Beck.

What things help you guys to get back on target and seriously get back to work on changing old habits?

Best wishes to all


03-22-2008, 07:30 AM
Diet Coaches – For lunch at work yesterday I had the corned beef and cabbage left over from St. Patrick's day. Standard CREDIT moi. However, I carefully chose all the cabbage, onions, and carrots, but only a small portion of the boiled potatoes, leaving some potatoes behind (to be fed to the worms in the compost bin). BIG CREDIT moi for leaving food to be thrown away, that's an action that's still pretty new for me.

[Looking for someone to start the discussion for Program-day 15: Monitor Your Eating. (Thanks Heidi (hbuchwald) for starting Program-day 14.)]

Sue (CoastalSue) - Sending tons of supporting thoughts as you struggle with your food plan even as you excel with your exercise plan. BIG Kudos for sticking with the struggle even with being public with your diet coaches here on 3FC. Hope the weather stay clear enough for you to be able to continue to swim and get the calming that you derive from that.

onebyone – So glad that the Wayne Newton performance met your expectations. Great story about the 70 year olds in the audience. Kudos for handling the buffet and for sufficiently staying on/near plan for the trip, and BIG Kudos for coming back with your attitude in the right place.

Ouch for your dustup with DH about the chocolate egg. I really appreciated the story because it reminded me of my own dustup with DW a few years ago when I was still in continuous grazing mode. I thought I understood our relationship after (then) some 25 years of marriage. I made assumptions about the intimacy implied by having kids together, a joint checking account, pillow talk, and bedroom activities. Apparently, I was presumptuous in assuming a level of intimacy that included her chocolate bar in the freezer, when I helped myself to a piece. Presumptuous indeed; I never knew that she measured and treasured her chocolate stash and considered herself violated by my transgression. So I know now, LOL, after 30+ years of marriage, that her chocolate is in the same category as her diary and her underwear drawer. [Note to all fathers out there: Be sure to add chocolate to the topics of your father/son chat.]

Black sheep Ellen (SeaChild) - Kudos for breaking the cycle of starving/bingeing, and Kudos for being so aware of your actions on this, including Kudos for giving yourself credit. Congrats for the 1.5 pound loss. And BIG Kudos both for believing in your Beck path and for giving yourself credit. Sending supporting thoughts for "Starvation Day."

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Kudos for eating on plan at Ruby Tuesdays. Kudos for carefully counting out a portion size of 30 pistachios instead of eating from the bag. BIG Kudos for not eating them. Kudos for having a planned reward for each 5 pounds lost. Do you have to plan the locations in advance for a flock of ladybugs or just assign a new spot for each one when it happens? Sending eight healing thoughts to your DH.

Heidi (hbuchwald), wendy (wendylan), amy (gahundy), and Jean (kuhljeanie) - Waving at the busy mothers of young children. Hope you have time to dye Easter Eggs (if you celebrate). [Trying to imagine how much damage El Nino could cause with a hard boiled egg, LOL.]

Mez (mezmerize), Cammie (CammieCam), and barbpos – Waving.

AnnCan1111, hafowler, Erika (eusebius), CherryAutumn, CatR, tofulover, Kitt (SuchAtwin), Ann (Newlifestyle), iloveme2008, Tam (tammay), Nancy (capernan), moxiesd, Lori (nighthawk), avvocata, kattharris, Sue #2 (SPIRITANGEL), Karina, and Lewarner - Waving. Hope you are well and that you still have time to follow this thread, your diet plan and your exercise plan.

Readers – “… You’ll also need to solve some psychological problems, such as:
• Feeling stressed by other life problems. ” Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-22-2008, 09:11 AM
gahundy – I also buy dehydrated fruit . It’s made for toddlers. I bought it for my grandkids and put a few in my cream of wheat and it was great!!! It’s made my Gerber and Wal mart also has its own brand. There are many kinds.

BillBlueEyes – I find I think about the food in fridge will think of desire not hunger. Thanks Bill Kudos on once again throwing food out. I’m sure the worms will enjoy the potatoes.

SeaChild – Congrats on the loss and making the changes at WI time!!

ladybugnessa – Your reward sounds cute! Congrats on the 5 lbs 11 times. Breaking down works for me.

onebyone – “I was laughing asking DH if he could feel the "sexual tension" in the air. I tell you, many of those ladies would have gone to Wayne's room in a second!”:rofl:

Kudos for sticking to soup and 1 serving. Water weight to me is a warning to be good our else!! Kind of like my mom telling me one more time and you are in big trouble! Swimming will be a huge help in getting things back in place if you can avoid it don’t step on that scale if it will interfere with your WL. This is a learning process and I feel you did very well ONLY 1 serving at the buffet!!! I’m don’t think I could have done that!!

coastalsue – I do a number of things, quotes that I read and look at pictures of myself before and now and I have theme songs. Like Break On Threw To the Other side – By The Doors, It Don’t Come Easy – John Lennon & Ringo Starr, Sexyback - Justin Timberlake, Bony Moronie - Larry Williams. (I don’t want to be bony it inspires me to keep going)

As for me yesterday was crazy! I did my 8 miles once again. I didn’t get enough calories in which worries me. I’m going to be better today. I just didn’t have the options yesterday. Due to my lack of planning. There was too much food porn where I was at and I felt it was best to skip then to start and not stop. I did eat when I got home but at is was ½ till bed time I kept it light.

03-22-2008, 09:32 AM
Happy Saturday my Beck Friends...

thanks for all the well wishes...

Mezmerize I am so jealous you can do 8 miles. I'm not allowed to walk for exercise even when my ankle is not bothering me.... good for you!

BBE I have not yet gotten to 'leave food behind" good for you! that one scares me.

Sue have a good day darling and know that we all struggle... at least I do.

OnebyOne buffets are always my downfall!

my ladybugs will either be down my spine like spots or on my right wrist like a bracelet.

this weekend i will work hard on days 4 and 5 eat sitting down and eat slowly and mindfully. those are my two days that are still so hard for me. especially eat slowly and mindfully. so my plan is to work those days today and tomorrow.

have a great day everyone.

03-22-2008, 09:52 AM
Hey everyone! I'm here, it's been busy the past few days. I have my weigh in this morning, wish me luck. Just wanted to check in really quickly, I've gotta go get my day started. Will catch up with everyone later! :)

03-22-2008, 10:07 AM
Good morning all,

I've been spotty about being here and writing, so it's time to check in. Day 34 for me...that's 34 days back on South Beach and with Beck. I've been going through the book a day at a time, reading the chapter (occassionally a day late), thinking about the concept, sometimes doing the exercise, writing down my food, exercising every day, remembering at least my short version advantages, sitting to eat, and working on the slow conscious eating. There are some "days" I'll probably never actually do (like day 12), other things I'll likely come back to.

As time goes on, I'm trying to distinguish between being a little less rigid and getting back into habits that ended up with out of control eating. For example, I wrote down my food yesterday morning. When I had lunch, I realized it was short from my typical lunch (I had protein, fat, and veggies, but I usually have 1 or 2 of beans, starch, or fruit). So, I added a fruit. It made sense to me, and I was not quite at the mildly full stage, but I had not done even that amount of unplanned eating until yesterday. On the other hand, I've also started to take tiny tastes while cooking, and I know that needs to end.

Big credit moi for Thursday. I had a busy day, with no time to exercise.... I left the house at 7:00 am, was home for 1 hour from 5:00pm until 6:00pm, and came home around 10:00 pm. As planned, I got on my treadmill for 10 minutes at 10:15pm!!!

I have a bit of a challenge coming up tomorrow. We're having 4 other families over for soup and salad night. (of course, soup and salad doesn't mean just soup and means bread, crackers, cheese, dips and dessert too)...Overeating before, during, and after entertaining have been major issues for me in the past. But, tomorrow I have NO CHOICE about eating beyond my plan.

Some responses:

BBE: congrats on leaving food on the plate. Thank you for reminding me that even after all your success and a year at this, you're still working on this helps me (a little bit) with having gone beyond mildly full at dinner last night.....and BTW, my name is Barbara :)

Nessa: I'm with you on the slow and mindful eating...undistracted eating is really a challenge for me too. I think we can just keep working at it, knowing that the more we do it, the more we are able to appreciate what we are eating and not overeat.

Seachild: congrats on the WI awareness and change. I remind myself that the scale provides information.....that's it. And imperfect information at that, with day to day fluctuations...and even week to week changes that don't always correlate with how you've been doing. It's not always easy though.

One by one: I can so relate to being spellbound by the two little chocolates in the cupholder. I find that when I stop eating sweets completely, the pull goes away. That's what I've been doing lately, but I am considering having a few bites of the dessert at the wedding we're going to next weekend.

03-22-2008, 11:52 AM
Beckies, I can't keep up with you all! Wow..adventures and all.

Dear CoastalSue, so sorry to hear you are struggling. We all know how far you have come! Dig out a picture of yourself 71#s ago and give yourself credit.:carrot::carrot:

That message above was from your friend MaryBlu, the one who thinks you are the neatest, coolest person on the west, from your Beck Coach, some tough love.

To coin a phrase: JUST DO IT!!

Just do it. Dig out the book, start at page 1. Page 1...the forward from Dr. Beck's dad. Page it, dig in, and just do it. Start over and just do it..because, here is the best part:

You don't have to "believe in Beck" or "believe in CBT" for it to work. Beck works if you do it. Your assignment is to read it...start at page 1.....No excuses!:):)

I am going to be gone for more than a week, so I will leave it to our Beck Co-Coaches to help support you......cuz you have come waaaayyy too far not to keep going..

Love ya.


03-22-2008, 12:01 PM
Hello coaches Thank you for the responses to my last post about my trip and faltering while away. As I suspected, the scale was up 3.2lbs for me this morning for my official weigh-in. At times I fear I will never ever get below 250 ever again. Now I know the factors involved and they are temporary and things will change and move downwards again, but I still harbour the defeatist attitude too. For today I choose to ignore it and know instead that even as I sit here typing this I am losing weight.

I just got back from dropping off the rental car and picking up groceries for a few good recipes for the next few days. It's good to be back home and on plan. So glad it's Saturday and I have a few more days off before the last push to the end of the school term and the beginning of my summer work whirlwind.

coastalsue It's so very hard to stay with a plan when you are any one of the states that you mentioned you're feeling right now. It takes energy to do all the things we know we are to do for ourselves. I was glad to see you are managing to swim and that there will be a "healing lull" as you put it on Sunday. Just hang in there. Sometimes it is all we can do and that you are managing to get into the water that you love so much says a lot about
you desire to feel good, to treat yourself well. We do what we can when we can and when we can do more, we do. All the best to you today.

BillBlueEyes Good job at tossing those potatoes. And thanks for revealing that you too took some chocolate that wasn't yours and got heck for it. Yeah. I was so lost in what I wanted that I didn't give DH a second thought. And he's particularly sensitive to stuff like that. I *know* this about him. But it never entered my mind cause it was full of desire for one small gold foiled chocolate egg.

mezmerize Good going on keeping up the exercise and on recognizing that you need to fuel your body too. Great to hear you're on it and on plan!

ladybugnessa Saturday is the toughest day of the week for me to stay on plan. I feel it right now. I want to eat eat eat. Instead I am making soup. I accept that I might eat to overfull today, but I can at least eat quality food. Is this progess? I suppose. Anyway, I am not there yet and I do hold out hope that I will not eat too much or too fast. Good luck to you this weekend with being mindful with your food.

CammieCam Good morning! Good luck on your weigh-in today.

barbpos Overeating before, during, and after entertaining have been major issues for me in the past. But, tomorrow I have NO CHOICE about eating beyond my plan. I do the same thing. For me it feels like a "holiday mentality", like I am on a holiday from my life for a day or two. And that means a break from doing everything that is boring and ordinary and the stuff I have to do. I am having trouble settling down and I've only been away a day. I need to read my book and draw a line in the sand for myself as well. Thanks for your post.

03-22-2008, 02:59 PM
Hi friends!
I had a night out with friends last night-dinner and a play. I stayed on plan for dinner-credit moi! I had fish tacos and a beer. BUT then, I dug into some of that blasted easter candy last night and some cheesey/salty snacking… I realized that it was because DD was gone overnight and I felt “free” in some way. I am on this healthy path because I want to be not only when I have all of my charges here….??? I did stop myself with “food is not solving anything right now since I am not hungry”. And even “this doesn’t even taste THAT great”…sooo salty! I recorded it all and stopped…kudos to me. Today, I got up, made a yummy breakfast of some grilled polenta and an egg scramble with a small zucchini and some onion chopped up in it. I am sipping my coffee with doggie by my side as I check in with you guys. This week’s challenges include: easter tomorrow…none of the candy here is delicious enough to me to plan it in-NO candy! We have late night conferences on Monday and Tuesday which includes being fed dinner by PTA. This is so nice but I will bring my food and plan to have 200 cals of whatever I want from their spread. If that works for Monday, I will apply it to Tuesday as well. If I am further tempted, I will wrap whatever temptation up for the next day… I may not be able to check in tomorrow.. skiing and then dinner with my cousin and home late on a schoolnight…

It is so hard for me to keep up with everyone but today I have time to personalize…

Ellen: Wow! What a great feeling to feel like you are tackling that habit. I really hear you on putting so much weight (pardon the pun) on that scale reading. I have gone through periods (not since I have done beck but before that) when I didn’t even own a scale and wanted to measure my “success” solely on how I felt physically and mentally. That is great in theory..I have also read somewhere about the long time maintainers weighing themselves on some consistent basis just to keep themselves in check. I decided that I wanted to strive to weigh each day just to monitor it but not make it as big a deal.

It struck me when I read your post that you talked about the starvation/binge cycle and then in another part of the post talked about tackling what you nicknamed “starvation day” (the day where beck asks us to skip a meal). I wondered if attaching that negatively charged word with something that you aren’t terribly excited about doing helps??? Just a thought I had while reading the post..take it or leave it. :)

Back to those WW WI days..I remember even trying to use the bathroom before going to the meeting as well as REALLY limiting my eating before and ending up feeling freer to binge or at least eat a “little something something” after weigh in. I am thrilled that you didn’t buy into that stuff this time!!! Kudos!

Nessa: Love the tattoo idea-creative! Five pound chunks are good small, yet significant amounts to partition it into!

Onebyone: LOVE the comments about Wayne Newton concert… that sounds like a truly fun time. I would love to go see Neil Diamond or Tom Jones for the same reasons! I am glad that you see the good things about what you did on your trip: the buffet, swimming, stopping yourself at different points and recording what you ate.

CoastalSue: Hugs to you… I like how you acknowledged that you aren’t hopeless but wishing you could get back into the groove of beck. I have had some bouts like that….I try to look at the whole picture and think about how this whole process of improving my life is just a really bumpy road but one that is ultimately taking me where I want to go. Do you have ONE advantage that speaks to you today that you can keep in your head? I am really hanging on to maryblu asking how badly we want this… I forget sometimes when I am busy/stressed/pms/etc…. how badly I want to do this for myself and keeping one reason each day in my head helps me focus. I also have been hanging on to your reminder that food doesn’t solve anything except hunger (who was the original person who suggested this?)…for situations. You have your exercise down SOLID!!! I am still so far from that…..just forcing myself to do a workout periodically and sort of avoiding what I know I need to do-NO CHOICE. Are you still meditating?

BillBlueEyes: Thank you for spreading the word on the sacredness of a woman’s chocolate stash. Wonderful story! Credit to you on the corned beef and cabbage prioritization! I admire your ability to keep track of everyone and their particulars….so supportive and kind and smart. Thanks for all you do. Ps I made what I and DD think is an awesome Ariel egg (little mermaid is queen around here these days..) and we made a scuba diver egg for her grandpa…fun times!

Mesmerize: What is the difference between the dried fruit found by the raisins at the store and the dehydrated fruit made for toddlers? I will check it out! I love your use of those little animated graphics-a picture sure says it all!!! :rofl: I love your reference to a theme song..I actually read about that idea somewhere… that having a theme song to refer to in our heads can help. I often sing “take it easy on yourself….”…putting those songs on my ipod and taking a walk around the block could just get me back into my right mind….

CammieCam: Waving to you…. enjoy your day!

Maryblu: I love your posts…I take all the advice you gave to Sue today for myself also…Just do it!!!

03-23-2008, 08:19 AM
Diet Coaches – Had the opportunity yesterday to stand down a strong desire to eat when facing some difficult situations. Had to pull out the old If it's hunger isn't the problem, then food isn't the solution. CREDIT moi for using the Beck program in a very real situation. The good news is that I got in two long walks in the sunshine (albeit coolish sunshine). CREDIT moi.

It's just super that there is no Easter candy in the house. As in 0.0. None. In the olden days I would be making regular passes through the local CVS Pharmacy that keeps an entire aisle filled with the cheapo candy-of-the-season. It's useful for me to remember how strongly I was drawn to that stuff, that desire for it is likely to return from time to time, and that I have the tools to stand it down. I still have much room to build up my confidence that I'm on a journey for life, not just a temporary good thing.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Sending encouraging thoughts - just thinking about you and wishing you well.

MaryBlu - Thanks for the encouraging post; your posts always make me feel that working the Beck program is a stellar good idea. Sending you warm support for your week away. May your daily choices be the ones you've planned.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for halting the nibbling and remaining clear and responsible. Your breakfast polenta and egg scramble sounds so good. It's a delight that you can casually mention Henry in such a supporting way. Reminds me that someone listed petting a dog as a good diversion when facing an eating desire. Good luck with your late night conferences while everyone's leftover Easter candy is abundantly sitting out. Sounds like you have a sane plan and a plan for sticking to it. Such good Beck stuff.Note to self: I did it myyyyyyyyyy way is not an appropriate theme song.
Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos, again, for another 8 miles. You're on a roll!!! Kudos for avoiding the "food porn." I didn't follow your issue with not getting enough calories - were you under eating and worried about that leading to over eating later?

Cammie (CammieCam) - Waving back. Wishing you (belated) good luck with your weight in yesterday morning. And wishing you the wisdom to keep your perspective that, whatever the scale weight reads, you're still Cammie and you're still on track. Let us know.

Barbara (barbpos) – Big Kudos for sticking to your plan for the treadmill session Thursday evening after a long, busy day. That's an encouraging reminder that exercise can be planned into tiny time slots and then the plans honored using the NO CHOICE, and Just Do It tools. It's hard to imagine that running the treadmill would have seemed like a good idea at 10pm without the plan in place. And Kudos for being so attentive to your eating choices when wandering in the desert of unplanned eating at your lunch. Good luck with your "soup and salad" entertaining. Using soup and salad reminds me of using cottages for the mansions in Newport, RI. I hadn't thought of the notion that we enable our eating by using diminutive names to help disguise the magnitude of what's happening.

onebyone – Kudos for keeping a Beck-like perspective about your weigh in. And Big Kudos for recognizing that you "still harbour the defeatist attitude too." I, too, harbor the unnecessary fear that all this will disappear and I'll return to continuous grazing. This reminds to keep reading my Believe It Response Card.

This sentence hit me hard, "But it never entered my mind cause it was full of desire for one small gold foiled chocolate egg." What a vivid reminder of how desire can mask all our rational thinking. It reminds me of why an eating plan together with NO CHOICE are my weapons of choice for when my rational thinking is not available to me. Thanks for that.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Good luck with eating slowing and mindfully this weekend. I was so surprised when I discovered how quickly I was stuffing my face and how little attention I paid to what I was eating. That seemed to fit well with my discovery that I was over eating mediocre food even though I carried in my head the notion that I had gained weight because I loved good food. In fact, I loved eating mindlessly.

Readers – “Cognitive Therapy helps you solve both practical and psychological problems and learn new thinking and behavioral skills – skills you’ll be able to use for the rest of your life. … ” Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-23-2008, 09:05 AM
Hello Coaches

I thought I was going to get back on track yesterday but I did not. I seemed to want to do everything I could think of that was off plan. And I did. I didn't exercise. I didn't keep track. I had second helpings. I ate standing up. When I get into that mindset it feels almost as if I am "daring" my body to do something. Mostly to gain the weight back. I have had this fight with the number 260 on the scale for a year now. Seems I get to 254 or so, and then a rebellion ensues and I "dare my body to go to 260 again". :?: And so, this morning, I got my wish. I saw 261.4 and also 259.7 twice. I know I did not eat the 25,900 calories it would have taken to create that 261.4 number. This is water retention and I retain like nobody's business! So what's good about this? Well it's over. That's one thing. I've written down my food for the day and have eaten my breakfast while sitting down, mindfully and consciously. I have a NO CHOICE week ahead of me as my extra food choices have been accounted for so that actually makes things simple. I've planned in some exercise for the day. And I knew all along what I was doing poorly yesterday. I can no longer eat unconsciously like that. So what's driving me? I was feeling lonely. I have had a deep feeling of missing my grandmother the past few days. I was raised by her and she died 14 years ago and every once in a while I just deeply miss her. So that's there. I'm upset in advance for the work ahead of me. I was told I have to make sure I work my 10hours a week at my ceramic tech job at the school I attend so they don't decide that a tech is not needed. I average about 6 hrs a week now. Sometimes 10 hours is a lot to do with homework and a full course load. But I like the job and need the money and could use it so I'll just have to schedule it in, just like the food and exercise. And I guess it's time I call some family members and say hello. I saw my siblings and my mum over Christmas and we just don't call each other and I think I may need to say hi. Guess I am feeling lonely. Glad you guys are here:)

BillBlueEyes Good going on getting through the desire and out the other side by using Beck tools. I still have much room to build up my confidence that I'm on a journey for life, not just a temporary good thing. I like these words. It makes me believe that my two day bingefest is but a blip. That certainly takes away a lot of its power as a "predictor" of my future success or lack thereof.

hbuchwald Great going on staying on plan for your dinner out! Sorry to hear you strayed while alone. I too struggle with the "food as celebration" and eating off plan as the ultimate act of "freedom". How fantastic you stopped and wrote it all down! I am going to do that this morning as best as I can remember. I think for me this is important because what I will also do is makes things worse than they are. Better to just deal with things as they stand, good or bad. Wishing you much success over the challenges coming to you the next few days!

Have a great Sunday...

03-23-2008, 09:35 AM
Good morning and Happy Easter to those celebrating today!

I have really gotten so behind on my posts and had a great time since early this morning reading all of the ones I'd missed.

Amy… thanks so much for the support girl! Haven’t heard much from you lately. Sure hope you’re doing well!

Coastal Sue…My thoughts are with you. When you’re overwhelmed, stressed out, and exhausted, it’s so hard to find the energy to just get out of bed each day...much less struggle with food challenges. I’m wishing you rest, relaxation, and revitalization. Being a sea person, you know that tides will come and go, ebb and flow. Be kind to yourself in this low tide.

Barbara… It sounds like you’re finding a comfort zone and balance with your food plan and your Beck things, one that you’ll find livable. That is a commendable struggle. I also want to thank you for reminding me that just because it’s a holiday, it is NO CHOICE. I’m another who’s guilty of the before, during, and after “special occasion” eating plan. Yikes. One thing that I really need to work on is preplanning my food. I do use a journal every day and write down every bite, but am sometimes “surprised” at the end of the day, that I’ve gone over my allotted calories. It’s never by much, and some days I log in under, so I’ve never worried too much about pre-planning. But today for the Easter Feast, I did plan it out. And I’m sure I’ll use the NO CHOICE mantra more than once. Thanks! And I hope you have good luck at your potluck! <smile>

Onebyone…Sooooo you got some practice in. <smile> You learned first hand with your eyes wide upon, just what it is you’re up against when you hit the road, or have any reason to “let loose”. And each opportunity to practice can lead you to do better next time. I know those defeatist thoughts are such a downer. It’s good that you see them for what they are. Big deal on the WI. It’s the behavior that counts in the long haul and it’s clear that you’re practicing.

Before Beck, the only thing I ever practiced in those situations, was how to free-for-all and then start over “fresh”. (I loved that word, but really, there was nothing “fresh” about doing the same old stale things, thinking the same stale thoughts, and having the stale old outcomes I always had. I just didn’t know any better. The allure of food was so powerful, and my mind and actions worked in a partnership that allowed me to deceive myself… with the promise that “next time” I’d do it right, perfectly, and get thin.)

I was also a big believer in a “last hurrah” kind of eating binge... you know… that final indulgence (in my case BLAST) before the BIG diet that would finally get me thin. Oh yawn. Hadn’t I heard that the definition of insanity was doing the same things over and over yet expecting a different outcome.

Heidi...Thanks for your support and especially for your keen observation about me and the negative association I place on the word starvation. You gave me an Aha experience. I have been putting off that day. I know all too well from way too much past experience, just what “happens” to me after a period of “starvation”. Talk about the flood gates being thrown open. I am really scared of it, because right now I feel like I’m in a calm and stable eating zone. Just enough calories to lose weight very slowly, but not feel too hungry. Something I can live with.

It’s funny because I didn’t even think about it until I read BBE’s comments from a day or so ago mentioning my “starvation day”. Hmmm..interesting word choice. Thank you for such astute “food” for thought. <smile>

And how I so relate to the Tyranny of the Scale. I’ve lived in that unhappy kingdom for so long. At WW meetings, I would wear my thinnest clothing, made sure I visited the ladies room, wouldn’t even wear my watch or earrings!! LOL I remember one time joking with the woman weighing me that she’d have to do it quickly before I’d have to inhale again. So sick. I also remember how they’d pass out tiny little samples of new products they were offering. <g> Nobody in that WI line would try even one taste until AFTER they were done with the scale. Wow.

BillBE…Kudos for 0.0 <g> Easter candy in the house. Thank goodness my kids aren’t big on sharing it. (I’ve been known to rummage stealthily through Halloween bags and Easter baskets in my unholy past.) I also had a good laugh at your comments about touching the sacred chocolate stash. (You too Onebyone! <smile>) It reminds me there certainly are SOME advantages to being single. <wink>

Mez… Way to go on the “too big” Spring clothes!! That’s a great enforcement, isn’t it? Kudos. Looks like there’s a shopping trip in your near future. <smile>

Nessa… Woah! Dealing with a DH’s illness, pain, or discomfort was never an easy task in my home! Sending lots of healing energy to you both! Remember to take care of yourself as well as him!

Cammie… Tell me you’re wearing that outrageous Easter Bonnet in the parade today! <smile> It’s chilly in the city this morning. Whatever you’re doing… have a great time and a wonderful day.

Maryblu…have a great trip. You and your inspiring posts will be sorely missed!

Although the weather here at the Jersey shore is anything but Springlike right now... I'm sending you all Hyacinths, Tulips, and Daisies.


03-23-2008, 10:23 AM
ladybugnessa – Weekends are a lot harder for me as well. Since it’s the time we spend as a family watching a movie. Which usually has its old set movie treats. I’m trying to balance mine to where I don’t feel I’m missing out. One a good note they do have so many healthy and low count stuff these day. I’ve seen a bracelet made out of dragonflys once and it was really cute.

CammieCam – Sending much luck.

onebyone – Sending many happy though your way. HUGZ

hbuchwald – Kudos for stopping and noticing that isn’t that good. I like when that happens because it takes another unhealthy item off my desire list. Your breakfast sound super yummy!! The question about dehydrated fruit is I’m not sure. LOL While I have eaten it. I just had Parents Choice(Wal-Mart Brand) & Gerber on hand and thought I can put sugar in my cream of wheat or I can put 100% fruit and get natural sugar plus different flavors. (which will help limit boredom) I’m sorry this isn’t more clear when I go to the market I’ll check. The “adult” dried fruit I have had seemed to taste like it contained more sugar. I’m out of the Gerber but here are the basic of the 3 Parents Choice I have on hand in the following fruits. Strawberry-Banana, Pineapple –Pear, and Peach-Blueberry all have 5 grams of sugar for a ¼ cup serving, 1 gram fiber and 25 calories. When I make my oatmeal or cream of wheat I don’t use ¼ cup I maybe use a 1 TBS. I just looking to add a bit of flavor. I’m trying to retrain my taste buds in to get use to slightly sweet foods.

BillBlueEyes – Kudos on showdown with your desire!! Makes me think of Matt Dillion from gunsmoke. Oh gosh just reread that and seen you wrote stand down. Will keep what I wrote because you did blast that desire away! My issue with not getting enough calories is a question I’ve been meaning to ask but I’m not sure if would sound dorky. So at the risk of sounding like a dork I’ll ask. Exactly how long does it take for the body to go into the mode of PANIC she/he isn’t eating enough I’ll just slow down the metabolism. Is it a day to day thing or does it take weeks, months? That day when I didn’t get enough calories I was thinking is my body eating my hard earned muscles are is waiting until tomorrow to see if I will eat right. When I said I was low in calorie I was super low. (523 calories eaten that day) I had worked out so that makes the calories I should have eaten a bit higher.

SeaChild – Thanks for the flowers. It really put a nice vision to start my day. Yes getting the new clothes was so nice! I was even able to fit into things on the “other side” of the store.

Yesterday I did 8 miles and plan on doing it once again today. I’ve yet to put my baskets together for my son and grandkids! I’ve never been this far behind. We are going to my sisters for dinner so I won’t have any leftovers tempting me. I’m also ready mentally for the food that will be there. I think I’ll pack myself some food just in case I don’t feel I can stop with what they are having. Ham shouldn’t be a problem since I’m not a huge fan of it. It’s the potato/pasta sides that will due me in.

03-23-2008, 04:54 PM
Dear Beck Buddies-

thanks so much for all the support and positive thoughts, wishes and ideas-it all helped so much. I used it all to get back on a positive note. While I have had so many success in life there remain a deep core of self doubt and self criticism for this I have always used food for solace. When enough negative stuff happens this get tapped into. Seachild I love the sense of a waves-sometimes there is just a very very low tide in my life and the all the rocks get exposed. Overeating masks the sense of panic I have. Heidi-I finally began meditating on the feelings and after time could know this is all old stuff-from real decades ago but not my life now. Maryblu thanks for the compliments-came at good time and now again I am ready to do tough love for my body. BillBlueEyes-thanks for you support, insights and dedication for keeping this site together for all those "lean" months of few posters. Really needed this place. Mezmerize-love the music ideas-know the Doors well-also love the Eagles' song Get Over It. Hope you all are getting the idea that I appreciated everyone's input-onebyone, ladybugness, CammieCan(so glad you a back here again!!)Gahundy, BarbPos-If I miss a name it is due to a "senior" moment not a lack of appreciation.

Today's goal-1. To record everything I eat today. 2. Nothing after dinner(it is critical that I stop nightime overindulgencies) 3. Plan for tomarrow. 4. Start re-losing that damn 4lbs I regained.

Mezmerize-While I am cal counting I also been wondering what is optimum number of Cals I should be using-along with the porportions of protein,carbs right for me. I did the optifast things years ago at about 800 cals a day and regained it all and more- I guess that is the classic response of the body if the cals are too little. I have checked different web sites and the info always varies so. Share if you get more info on this.

Happy Easter/Spring to all-Wishes to all for a happy and healthy day. Why is candy such a part of this day?. Even the youngster I tutoring was upset with me because I did not bring her candy for the Easter. -The fruit drink, fresh cantalope, cheese and crackers was a boring snack-only candy was expected. So ingrain about candy and so young.


03-23-2008, 08:03 PM
coastalsue - I like that song from the Eagles. Thanks think I've added a new one to my list! This whole cal thing is very confusting. Since I'm doing WW I have the points but I don't always make them. Somedays over some under. I've heard of the Wendy plan and have read it. I think I will give that a try when I stall.

Did 8 miles today. My grandkids are sick so they won't be stopping today so I'll tomorrow off also. Weigh in day is tomorrow. I've eaten way to many pickles hope that doesn't effect my weight in.

03-23-2008, 10:10 PM
hi everyone! just time for a quick note before back to the grind (sunday night means folding laundry, cooking, and homework.)

figured out at least one of the reasons i was feeling so crappy - i'm sick. AGAIN. some kind of infection that's making my throat sore and a slight fever. i'm headed back to the doc tomorrow. i haven't worked out seriously in almost three weeks, and i fear my 1/2 marathon is in jeopardy. my kid also is back on antibiotics for his stuff, and he may need ear tubes. yipes!

the eating - well, i'm not on plan, but i'm not stuffing myself sick this week either, so that's an improvement. i seem to be holding steady at just a pound over my last "real" official weight. it could definitely be worse - but could also be better. it's so easy to revert when i feel like i'm not able to take proper care of myself. school has really been kicking my butt, and el nino has been super clingy and needy the past few days. i don't know if it's because he's also sick, or teething, or what, but i'm drained, drained, drained. so is DH, bless him. he tends to feel that he's failing me when he can't make everything better, which he can't, unless he suddenly turned into some kind of super antibiotic and a calorie-free deep dish pizza. ;)

big hug out to everyone - especially those taking the time and care to write to folks individually. coastalsue, i'm right there with you, trying to dig myself out of the little ditch i've temporarily fallen into. billblueeyes, i'm so glad you're so amazingly conscientious about writing every morning. it seems so discipined and it's wonderful because i feel like no matter how scattered or crazy my days are, i can log in and know that you've written some insight and are there for all of us - even when i couldn't possibly repay the favor! don't have to worry about easter candy, fortunately. i'm a fellow member of the tribe with barb. and passover food is generally terrible. i've never in my life experienced a craving for gefilte fish, matzoh, or horseradish. at least we've got that going for us. :hat: nessa, i hope your DH feels better soon! and onebyone, good luck with demonstrating your indispensibleness. you'll wow 'em - no doubt!

i know i'm leaving out a number of good people - sorry sorry sorry! got to get back to the 800 things i need to do before i can go to bed and get another week started.

03-24-2008, 05:39 AM
Diet Coaches – Easter is over with not a single piece of Easter candy. Big relief as well as CREDIT moi. Although, realistically I still have to face the baskets that will be brought to work by those who find candy abundance easier to dump on colleges than in the trash. Facing a big meal yesterday I ate mostly vegetables plus some pasta. CREDIT moi. Went right past Whole Foods on my walk without dropping by for samples. CREDIT moi. Brushed my teeth three times, using a pea-sized dab of toothpaste per my dental hygienist's instructions. CREDIT moi, LOL.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for staying in there in true Sue style. You stay present with your situation with such dogged persistence; I do admire it and learn from it. Sending you supporting wishes for the start of the week.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Waving. Hope skiing went well and you're refreshed for your upcoming late night conferences.

Jean (kuhljeanie) - Ouch that you're ill and El Nino also. E-mailing hot chicken soup to you both; grandmothers were right. Kudos for recognizing that you're operating from the position of "drained, drained, drained." At least you can cut yourself some slack for your feelings even if you're having a hard time finding slack in your schedule for all your commitments. Kudos to your DH for being so supportive; great that you're not alone finding your path through this over busy time.

Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos for yet another 8 miles - you're rolling. I now understand your comments about low calorie intake. Sorry, I don't have the information about how long it takes for your body to slow down its metabolism due to food shortage. It's hard for me to believe it can happen in one day, but factual information must be out there on the web. < /font = Matt Dillion>

onebyone – Warmest sympathy for the loss of your grandmother - even though 14 years ago. It isn't strange to mourn a beloved parental person years later. Since you were young when you lost her, you might not have been old enough to appreciate the importance of the long process of grief. If it seems useful to you, is there someone you can talk to who can help you work through the grief? (E.g., My church has a bereavement group where people help each other through the process; some participants are working through loses of many many years ago.) Just a thought. It sounds like you're doing a really good job of moving forward through a demanding time in your life.

Kudos to you for so candidly examining your feelings and thinking that affect your eating and exercising. I wish you well as you work to focus on staying on your journey. As you do so, of course, your body can figure out on its own how to beat the scale number down.

Ellen (SeaChild) - LOL at your insight in, free-for-all and then start over "fresh." Indeed! "Fresh" is such a misuse of the word here, diminutizing the lewd behavior of pigging out as if it contributes to the noble behavior the next day that will make it all better. We are so skilled at using language to support our thinking errors.

Kudos for avoiding the Easter candy, and congrats for raising kids who "aren’t big on sharing it," LOL.

Readers – “… You’ll not only overcome your current problems, but also learn how to use your new skills to overcome future problems.” Beck, pg 21.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-24-2008, 08:57 AM
Good Morning Coaches

Well inspite of my belief I was up on the scale for good, I am down 6lbs from the high of yesterday's weighin. Water water water. What did I do to shed the water?:shrug: I am, once again, reminded that my body functions without my conscious help. I need only do what I have decided to do: follow a plan of eating and a plan of behaviour around food. My body works really hard on everything else. I am so grateful to have a healthy, functioning body. Today's challenge is not a big issue for me. I rarely drink. So that frees up plenty of thinking time today for practicing the behaviours that aren't so easy for me: eating slowly and consciously at the table. I've migrated back to the couch again. Part of it is an overly cluttered and needing-to-be-cleaned-again kitchen. I was trying to think of ways to make the kitchen a nice room, a room I'd like to sit in. For someone who spends her life making pretty pictures I can't decorate the space around me. I am 3D challenged. Guess I'll leaf through some magazines and see if something pops out at me that I would like to adapt to my small square kitchen... maybe I need to paint the walls? Hmmm.

I just wanted to give myself credit for walking in place for 5 minutes at 11pm last night. I was already in bed and had circled the exercise sentence in the Beck To DO list for the day and I thought "I can do 5 minutes of exercise. Just walk in place." So I stood up, tried to find the least squeaky part of the wooden floor (not easy!) and did it. And then i got back into bed and checked that box off.

SeaChild Good Morning. It's not springlike here either. It was -14C this morning. I can feel the cold creeping along the floor. Poor KittyX is so frustrated! She cannot go out yet even though the days look like Spring with the bright warm sun. The air is still frigid. And the snow isn't melting and we have a lot of snow. It'll be melting into May.... As for practicing Beck while away, you know what I remembered this morning? It's easier to stay on plan than get on plan. This is how it works for me anyway. I think I'll write this on a card for myself. Even if I just keep a corner of my program going, whether it's an exercise session, or eating sitting down, so long as I don't throw it all away I am all right. It's like I tread water until I get my footing again and then I move forward. I need to remember that.

mezmerize I hope your dinner yesterday went well and that you enjoyed yourself. Again, congrats on the 8 mile workout. I can feel you striving to reach and surpass your next goal! Keep on trucking:running:
Good luck to you for your weighin today.

coastalsue You sound like you're ready to move forward again. I sometimes get frustrated with myself for not always moving steadily forward in spite of anything/everything around me. In reality, I have always had to withdraw and circle back again. I too have rocks beneath my waves. It makes it more difficult to navigate at times but not impossible. After all, we've got a chart to follow and many supporters on shore, (or in little shiny colourful boats) all around us! I wave to you from my lime green surfboard:wave:

kuhljeanie Here are some:getwell: flowers to help you feel better. Sorry you're feeling low. I hope the doc helps you out today. Just hang in there with us and take care of yourself and el nino! Thanks for posting.

BillBlueEyes I had to laugh at this
I still have to face the baskets that will be brought to work by those who find candy abundance easier to dump on colleges than in the trash Indeed. I fear I fell victim to exactly that pre-Wayne Newton at the reception desk where those entrancing foiled eggs lived in an innocent ceramic bowl just waiting for someone to take them home... DON'T DO IT! Of course, I don't think you will. You seem to have Ms. Beck's program firmly in your back pocket. I hope that will be me sooner rather than later. I do want to stay the course.

All the best to you today!

03-24-2008, 09:13 AM
i'm around.... had a really bad day yesterday food wise and binge wise. this morning taking DH to the dentist yet again....

03-24-2008, 11:00 AM
well this weekend was not a COMPLETE disaster but i wouldn't call it a success either. there is just something about the time form fridya night to monday morning where my brain thinks that calories don't count and exercise doesn't matter. why is that? i have no idea. i didn't read my cards or my book. i didn't come here and stay active. i have got to find a way to keep on treack through out the weekend. otherwise i move one step forward and two steps back. not productive.
hope everyone is doing better than me.
will be back later tocheck on everybody!

03-24-2008, 12:14 PM
To think I started out yesterday on such good footing. I even had a plan for what I thought was going to happen. Too bad what I thought was going to happen didn’t actually happen.


I guess I was overconfident at my ability to do well yesterday…but I obviously don’t have enough skills and practice with Beck to handle what I had to actually handle. It wasn’t ALL bad… sort of felt more like sliding downhill rather than jumping off a cliff… but I feel lousy and admittedly, the behavior was LEWD… thanks Bill. That comment of yours will stick with me from now on. I only wish I had had your message yesterday.

I did everything wrong.. Beckwise.

Onebyone… I sure hope that on Friday morning, you’ll be around to remind ME that the WI is no big deal, because I am feeling absolutely despondent about back sliding.

That’s all I’ve got for today. It’s over and done. I’m back to Beck. But ouch!!


03-24-2008, 12:20 PM
gahundy - ladybugnessa - Completely understand the weekend blindness. Wish was clever enough to think of a catchy name so maybe would stop that madness.

kuhljeanie – Sending more well wishes to you and yours.

BillBlueEyes – Kudos on your eating and walking and brushing of your teeth. Yeah I bet there has to be something out there. Maybe someone knows here. I’ll have to put that out there sometime.

onebyone – WOOOT on the 6lbs!! WTG on walking in place.

I am down 4 lbs today 2lbs from onelander. Deep breath and am hoping April 1st doesn’t pull a fools joke on me. I caught myself eating while standing yesterday. This is going to be a challenge when at gatherings. I have to think of a plan since there won’t always be some place to sit. Am thinking of my friends’ house where most of eating & talking is done standing. Interesting challenge. Well I better get moving going to try and get my 8 miles in once again.

03-24-2008, 12:35 PM
Mezmerizxe you are doing so well! i am so impressed by your focus and dedication... i know it sounds like platitudes and fluffiness but i really mean it. I look forward to your posts....

03-24-2008, 02:04 PM
Second: if you can't sit down when at gatherings, maybe you could try just standing in the same place. i know that when i am in that situation i usually walk and eat. i don't think it is pratical to do EVERY step 100% EVERY time, and we can't beat ourselves up about it. i think i read somewhere that if you aim for 100% of the time and hit it right aobut 80% of the time, you will still be a weight loss success! standing up at one party is not the end of all of your hard work!

03-24-2008, 08:37 PM
Hi all.

Last night was lots of was good spending time with old friends...I think we're doing to make it a once a month thing. I did well with the food....kept to planned foods and quantities.

I did slip up a bit before everyone arrived. I made a really good low-fat fish chowder. I had planned to have a taste of it as part of my snack before people arrived. So, I put a spoonful into a custard cup, sat down and ate moi....then, that mindless part of me took over, and I refilled the custard the top...and I even sat down to eat it. But, right after I did that, I said OH WELL, shouldn't have done that, maybe I'll eat a little less when everyone is here...and that's what I did.

Only other minor imperfection that was really a choice was when everyone was standing up eating appetizers -- veggies, humus, bean dip, chips, cheese, and crackers, I decided I wanted a couple pieces of red pepper and a couple baby carrots....and it just would have been a little strange to sit down, so I didn't. It was a choice, I was fine with it. I think I may want to look at allowing myself some small amounts of eating social situations....NOT IN MY KITCHEN when I'm cooking!

Weight was down 3 pounds this morning. That's 17 pounds in 5 weeks!! I know it won't continue....and yes I'm eating enough, I just have a lot to lose, and this is the first few weeks. If my pat pattern continues, I'll slow to 1-2 pounds a week around now.

Mez: Congrats on the loss! BTW, I love your ticker...where did you get it?

BBE: kudos on staying away from the candy. When I was growing up, I had an uncle who owned a drug store. We would always get the leftover Easter candy after the holiday....I loved those giant bunnies! (course, that was before I as aware of Cadbury eggs....okay enough food porn!)

One-by-one -- congrats on your loss. And thanks for the reminder that it's easier to stay on track than get on track. I'm going to use that one.

Sea child -- I think it takes practice to build these skills and use them consistently. One of the Beck twists that I find interesting is that NO CHOICE is one of the key response cards....but so is OH WELL. She knows none of us will do this perfectly.

Nessa -- hope things get calmer for you....soon....or even now

Jean -- Passover has been my undoing many times. It's not that I love Passover food so much...though I do find the family favorites pretty comforting and's just a reaction I've had to the limitations of Passover...since I observe pretty strictly...even when I plan and focus on all the good things I can eat (fruit, veggies, meat, fish, chicken, dairy products, nuts, sweet potatoes, quinoia, matzo, even Passover sweets etc), some kind of deprivation thing comes up for me....and I end up way overeating,,,if not during Passover, then right's happened several times....I'm planning on working Beck very hard this year around that time.

03-24-2008, 09:01 PM
I am still here,I was doing so well last week and it all went wrong Thur after Easter basket shopping.I have been eating quite a bit of candy but I did well at dinner on Easter.I have decided to try my favorite diet plan with the exchanges instead of ww flex or points for at least a week.It just seems so much more natural to me and I have lost on it before,it is like ww used to be ,2 milk exchanges,5 protein exchanges ect... I did not weigh in Thur,I think I have 4 ww weigh ins left and I will not rejoin when this 8 weeks session is over,too much pressure and added stress.I was reading through some of my info from healthy exchanges cookbooks by Joanna Lund and I have done my shopping today and have lots of supplies.Have not been swimming due to the holiday weekend.I am going to pack my lunch for work Tuesday and read my cards.Funny over the last few days when I have been going crazy eating everything I shouldn't,I keep remembering my cards and what they tell me.I had to kind of blot them out of my mind so I can go on eating.Some of it must be sinking in and I am not giving up.

barbos and mezmerize-Great job on the weight loss!

I will have to respond at greater length Tues,keep up the good work everyone!

03-25-2008, 12:40 AM
Hi everyone,
I am just keeping my head above water. I ate on plan all day and then someone brought in a "still warm" pumpkin streusel type number... I indulged. I didn't right away but couldn't stop thinking about it and had a piece before I left school tonight. Oh well. I recorded it and am done eating for the day.

Big congrats to Mez on your hard work and dedication showing up on the scale-you will hit onederland before you know it!

I must go to bed-more conferences all day tomorrow beginning at 8 am. I have planned tomorrow's food including 200 cals for a little something from the PTA feast. It helps taht we eat dinner so early (4:30) so my body has SOME time to digest and I can walk around before going right to bed!

Til tomorrow, Heidi

03-25-2008, 12:58 AM
Howdy Folks,

Weekends can really be a challenge-those fun gathering so much food and opportunity to fall back into old habits. Much Credit for those who made it thru and actually lost weight too. OnebyOne, Barbpos and Mezmerize congradulations on your loss and BillBlueeyes for your maintaining. Mezmerize as you are so close to getting in the "ones" I am anxious to get out of the threeses and into twoese.

Unless I am going thru some "emotional crisis" in general I have got the Beck concepts down when I am at home with just DH and our normal routines. Add parties, company, trips, holidays and/or illness then it gets very tough for me. I know this is jumping around the book but I would be interested in re doing chapters parts of 7, 8, 9 and 10. For example day 16 is prevent unplanned eating-I'll start on this but I think I am out of order a bit if this is ok with the group. Prehaps this was already done and I have forgotten? I would try to do 2 days a week if no one else wants to do one.

Wenylan so glad you are not giving up-I have many of those "But why did I do this moments" I really have to work to even hear my sabatoging thoughts as I can quickly drown them out with food.-I also found that I had read my cards to much I could hear the reasons when I started overeating-they have really helped me stop at times.

Barbpos-you were so successful last night-great save on stopping the eating and reducing some food later. I do find I get a bit nervous with company and it is easy to pop something in my mouth then. Sat we did have two other couples who all are watching thier weight and I actually enjoyed planning and doing a low cal dinner-which was yummy too. I also think a conscious choice such as modifying the standing rule can make sense in some situations. My goal is to giving or attending a party and lose the weight that week-It is a very rare thing for me. congradulations on your loss.!

Mezmerize you are one trucking lady-didn't you some surgery not that long ago!! congrads on your loss.

Gahundy, Ladybugnessa, Jeanie, SeaChild I have such respect for you all for hanging in and check in with the group. I so understand the effects of illness, stress, exhaustion on changing habits. I am continually learning to cope with these situation without food with a series of baby steps and it has taken a long time to lose the 70lbs but inspite of alot of set backs it is gone. I truly believe that Beck is good approach but I also am always working on the "magical" powers I have given food to cure my nonfood problems-I know it can only can cure hunger but I still try and use it other problems and then go off plan. when my life is good doing Beck is work but doable-when I am stressed doing Beck takes every once of energy for me and at times too much. I am always asking my self-" why why why did I do this unhealthy eating act?" Occassionally I figure it out and can change it. Best wishes to you for future successes as you all have already had a number of successes.

onebyone- What a wonderful responses of love and appreciation to your body. I have been learning to see what I can do versus focusing on what I can't do any more. I see alot of folks my age who are suffering much more than me who is obese-which is curable. Love you being 3-D challenged- I go crazy arranging pics on a greeting card or in an album.

BillBlueEyes-I bet that Easter candy at work does not temp you-no one donates the extra rich cocoa chocolate-that I would at least take for some later times. I have found eating more mindfully I really like a lot of texture and flavor-I sometime start eating faster with poorly made bland foods hunting for more flavor. Thanks for understanding the "sue" way of working thru my eating problems-I just can't do "no Choice" It has to make sense to me-In Special Education you just can not stop an inappropriate behavior but you have to modify and replace it another behavior-teaching the non verbal child to use pictures to communicate versus screamming is so much more successful than just saying "no screamiming".

Hi to Cammy and Heidi-Heidi just read your posting-guess we are the late night west coast folks-Sounds like a tough week-take care


03-25-2008, 06:45 AM
Diet Coaches – Ate no Easter candy yesterday. CREDIT moi. Now, in my pre-Beck, negative thinking days, the fact that none was offered to me would be reason for reducing the CREDIT-moi for not eating any, But, since I had pre-committed to not eating any, I'm claiming full credit.

At the gym I did my chest press with 40 pound dumbbells on a bench next to a buff young guy doing the same exercise with 35 pound dumbbells. CREDIT moi. Alas, a tough grader might reduce that CREDIT-moi because comparing myself to someone else as a clear violation of, My Body, My Journey, and all that. But I'm claiming full credit.

My take on Beck's message is that thin people give themselves credit more often than fat people by virtue of their way of thinking and that's a good thing. That means I'm doing the right thing. [Ahem..., did I mention that I just finished my income taxes?]

Sue (CoastalSue) - Sending supportive thoughts for getting your sea legs back. It's good to see the analogy to what Beck is trying to get us to do in your work, "In Special Education you just can not stop an inappropriate behavior but you have to modify and replace it another behavior."

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for eating on plan and Kudos for rapid recovery. Boy, what a reminder how easy it is to get tripped up by a little thing like, "still warm."

wendy (wendylan) - Kudos that "Some of it must be sinking in and I am not giving up." You're headed in the right direction. Seems like it's we-all-need-to-get-back-on-track day on the Beck thread, LOL.

Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos yet again for continuing your 8 mile walks. That's good stuff. It's neat that you're walking your way to onederland.

Barbara (barbpos) – Kudos for your low-fat fish chowder vignette. A good fish chowder goes down sooo easy - kudos for stopping when you did. Yea that your soup and salad was a success. I find your distinction useful for eating standing up in situations when that's the only real option; that's really different than in the kitchen, when another option is just NOT to eat (or to sit for a sample, like you did).

onebyone – Big Kudos for your 11pm walk in place exercise. That's such a great story to remind me of the value of sticking to my plan. And I stole It's easier to stay on plan than get on plan for my Response Cards, as well as I am so grateful to have a healthy, functioning body. Thanks for both of those.

amy (gahundy) – Ouch for a tough weekend. Kudos for getting right back on track afterwards. Alas, like parenting, it's a 24/7 journey. If checking in with 3FC over the weekends would help to remember, then come right in; many of us are here.

Ellen (SeaChild) - Kudos for your terrific attitude, "ouch .. more like sliding downhill rather than jumping off a cliff ... It’s over and done. I’m back to Beck." It's always good for me to be reminded that my journey will succeed if I remember that I am to compensate for deviations, not quit.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Sending supporting thoughts for getting back into your Beck stride. And sending healing thoughts for your DH.

Readers – "Foreword A New Application of Cognitive Therapy
There is a serious and growing health crisis in the United States. Nearly two-thirds of adults, and an ever-increasing number of children and adolescents, are overweight. … " From the Forward by Aaron T. Beck, M.D., Beck, pg 10.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-25-2008, 07:47 AM
I went to bed last night with my heart fluttering....and woke up a couple times during the night with it fluttering even worse....luckily this morning it's back feeling normal. This was the first incident in a couple of week. It was a sobering reminder that I do have atrial fibrillation. This can not be just a downward dip in the dieting yo-yo. Too much is at stake here.

How's this for a response card....REMEMBER YOU HEART CONDITION!

Yes, I know, being healthy matters to everyone's health....I'm just aware of it on a different level lately.

Sorry, I'm feeling a little grim this morning.

Gotta go get ready for work. Have a good day everyone.

03-25-2008, 09:13 AM
gotta run but i'm seeing that doing BECK work for me requries a WORK DAY and days off for right now seem to coast with the other stuff.

I really do have to get back on track...

03-25-2008, 09:50 AM
Hello Coaches!

Wow the whole team seems to have checked in since I last posted!

:cheer2:Go Team Go:cheer2:

I cannot believe my eyes this morning. I am back to my pre-trip weight, 253.4. The scale weight is never what I think it to be, yet another reason to treat it the way you would casually observe the patterns of light in a fantastic photograph say, or when you are trying to figure out just what kind of red that is over there as you try to paint that thing over there. The number just sort of is, independent of me somehow -- yet I take full credit for taking immediate action , even though i didn't believe it would help. (credit moi)

I now choose to believe that getting back to Beck (B2B?) makes my body happy to shed the water as I eat with sanity.

I really really really thought that weight gain was permanent. I really really really believed that. And I was wrong. Let me remember this the next time this situation comes round.

ladybugnessa So sorry to hear you are heading back to the dentist with DH. It really was a major event, losing 8 teeth all at once. I had 3 out at one time and that was tough. So many do's and don't when you have those fresh holes where your teeth used to be. It is understandable this would impact you as well in so many ways. I am sending you strength to get through this and clarity to know what it the next best thing for you to do to take care of yourself, and the willingness to do it. :hug:

gahundy Ah the weekend! I have had loads of trouble with wanting to be "free" in all ways over the weekend. Even when my work schedule starts up again, and I work every weekend, I still feel that way on a Saturday. Things are slowly starting to shift for me. I now really get it that what I do to myself one day, carries over to the next, and may affect me at my WI, or worse, make me feel bad for doing it and that is big trouble. Experiencing yet again how hard it is for me to pull myself back from the brink, I never know if I'll binge one day? two days? all week? so it is better to stay on plan. It is easier for me to stay on my plan than to get back onto my plan. I hope to have that burned into my noggin' ASAP! You deserve much credit for coming hnere, posting, getting back to Beck and going forward.

Seachild So? A little sliding here and there. You've stopped against a giant pile of snow, like the one that's taken up residence in my backyard. Now you can get up and go again. As you said to me, we're practicing. I know I need to re-visit my bad behaviours and eventually I won't want to go there anymore. You must know this old poem?
We all do better when we know better. And we are all getting better everyday.

Portia Nelson

1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost...
I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall's a habit
My eyes are open; I know where I am;
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

mezmerize Kudos+ on your exercise routine! You are definitely going to make it to onederland! I think BillBlueEyes once posted about being at a party and standing up to eat but using a plate, everything has to be on a plate. It was when wh was eating the almonds and he put them on a plate... that made a real impression on me. So maybe you can formalize an informal situation like that and mark it out as "I can do this so long as I have my food on a plate?" Just a thought.

barbpos Congratulations on your weight loss. Sorry to hear you got scared by your fluttering heart. I have asthma and it doesn't act up very much but when it does, I get freaked out. I know that losing weight/being more fit, will help my whole body as it will for you. We are doing the right thing. I feel the way you do. This is really really important for me and my body now. No fooling around. :hug:

wendylan I support you in your choice of foodplan! I think if that's what makes sense to you and you feel good doing it that way you should.
And of course you are not giving up... you're here! yay!

hbuchwald Good job with eating on plan all day yesterday. And that's smart to alter your foodplan for today based on what happened yesterday with the streusel by giving yourself 200 cal of wiggle room. Awesome!

coastalsue I have trouble with NO CHOICE too. It immediately makes me say "SAYS WHO?" So I am like the little kid and a replacement behaviour goes a long way with me as well. I'll think on this some more cause it feels like there's something really important in there for me to "get". Thanks.

BillBlueEyes Kudos on getting those pesky taxes done! I have to do two years worth and fear looking for everything... credit moi for even thinking about them a little:o I personally love going to gym and noticing that I am doing a little bit better time wise/weight wise/ reps wise than someone else. It feels good to me when I see that I am "as good as" someone else when I have spent so much time feeling lesser than or worse than everyone else, or not capable, all those foul things that are so untrue. Take the good thoughts and feelings where you can get them. You don't wish him ill, you just know you are "as good as". Credit toi et moi.

Sorry for the superlong post. I am avoiding drawing homework and now have to go do it.... Oh wait! I can still put it off with breakfast! haha! Okay Now I am off. Have a great day!

03-25-2008, 10:52 AM
ladybugnessa – Thank you, I also enjoy reading your post. :hug:

gahundy – Thank you, I like that tip of staying in one place. So true on the 100% thanks for helping put things in perspective!

barbpos – Thanks! I make my own tickers it’s keep me busy and focused. Kudos on keeping on plan. Nice recovery from the chowder. You hit the nail on the head as far as eating standing in social groups. Sometimes it just not possible. I will have to be mindful of eating just as with sitting in this situation.

wendylan – WTG on working revamping your plan. Love how you wrote I’m not giving up! Very Positive Kudos!!

hbuchwald – Thank you, Kudos on only have 1 piece. Kudos on planning ahead for your PTA meeting.

coastalsue – Thank you, I’ve not read ahead in the book. I would think if it’s going to help you improve your non eating muscle then it’s should be ok. I’m thinking is like Monastery School when they teach children according to their interest which make them learn it so much quicker. I don’t live in an area that has one but from what I’ve read they are really good. It’s one of the the things I do with my grandkids. I’ve noticed my grandson was into letters so I bought letter tiles and we’d watch a Leap Frog dvd called Letter factory and we did letter crafts among other things. He is 3 years old and can read. He actually loves to read Biscuit Books he will also go around the house and read the sticky notes I put all over. When he was into numbers we did thing that pertained to them. Cooking is what he found the most fun.

BillBlueEyes – Kudos! Bill = :lifter:

onebyone – Congrats on the pre trip weight! Awesome Poem!! Love the plate idea!! Very inspiring post! Thanks!

1st of all Thanks so very much everyone! Everyone has been so helpful with tips and sharing. Many times I'm going though the same thing and I get that I'm not alone feeling. Everyone is pushing on. It is so inspiring!
Yesterday 8 miles today I'm not sure if I'll take a break or just do part. My knee was acting up a bit. My husband bought me a Zune (Mp3 player) and a docking sations (room speakers) so I can play my workout music and not have to change my music CDs mid workout. The 8 miles takes 1hr 40 minutes and I have to listen to my music to zone out. Once again thanks for your support!

03-25-2008, 11:27 AM
Good morning beckies!
this will be a real quick credit to myself: had insomnia last night and i DID NOT eat anything! Normally i eat a bowl of cereal or a sandwich, you know something very carby. for some reason i have it in my mind that it will help me sleep, it seldom does, but i told myself last night that i knew it wouldn't help me sleep and that i would feel groggy this morning. guess what, even with just a few hours of sleep last night i feel pretty good. much better than i normally feel after a sleepless night! it's good for me to see that food DOES affect the way i feel.
onebyone: LOVE the poem, it reminded me of another story about a donkey whose owner didn't want it anymore so the farmer throws the donkey in a hole and starts to fill the hole with dirt. but everytime he throws dirt down the donkey shakes it off and stands on top of the pile. eventually the donkey has shaken it off enough dirt to be at the top of the hole and can just walk away. moral: keep shaking it off and stand up!
mez: thanks for being so positive. it helps me stay positive too!
bill: it is only human nature to compare ourselves with others in an unspoken competition. i am very proud of you for being able to do the same workout with higher weights (it gives me hope!)
Barb: TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEART! we may not all have heart disease but we all have the potential. i work for cardiac rehab so i know that even seemingly healthy people have heart disease. i also know (not to scare you but to help you remember) heart disease is the #1 killer of women today. i am glad to see that you are working on making your heart healthy instead of using it as an excuse to give up and do nothing. YOU CAN DO THIS!!
well coaches it's time for me toget back to work, i will come back and update as my day goes by...amy

03-25-2008, 12:14 PM
ok today is day 11 and i'm putting it off...ugh. why?

differentiate between Hunger Desire and Cravings...

03-25-2008, 05:06 PM
hey nessa, how's it going? i hope you are feeling successful on today's task.
everybody else is sure quiet today, they must be sleeping! just kidding i know everyone on here is hard at work.
my day is going ok, bfast and lunch were both eaten sitting down and focusing on my food and my exercise for today is step aerobics (wish me luck). i enjoy that class but i mostly just march in place while everybody is bouncing all around me.
hope everybody is having a great day and has a good night...amy

03-25-2008, 05:22 PM
hey nessa, how's it going? i hope you are feeling successful on today's task.
everybody else is sure quiet today, they must be sleeping! just kidding i know everyone on here is hard at work.
my day is going ok, bfast and lunch were both eaten sitting down and focusing on my food and my exercise for today is step aerobics (wish me luck). i enjoy that class but i mostly just march in place while everybody is bouncing all around me.
hope everybody is having a great day and has a good night...amy

focus on food... it's hard... but i can do it for part of my meal which i guess is better than none...

i'm still not able to exercise. i think that this has put me in a holding pattern.

i read the chapter. i thought about it today.

all this thinking about my food and my relationship to food makes me very uncomfortable....

03-25-2008, 09:46 PM
introspection makes everybody uncomfortable, that's why no one does it :)

you are doing great! don't give up just because you are out of your comfort zone. that's where we achieve at the greatest level. we have to push our boundaries regardless of fear. in the words of the immortal Garth Brooks "life is not tried it is merely survived if we're standing outside the fire." don't worry, we are all on the other side with a bag of ice for your feet. I know you can do this, and don't worry about it taking longer than one day, things like this take some time.:hug:

as for me i went to my step class, it was good and then i hurried home then had to pick up dd and take her to her band rehearsal (she plays clarinet in the city woodwinds orchestra) and so by the time i got home to eat i was STARVED! i ate sitting down but i ate in such a hurry that i didn't notice what i was eating, i mean i know what i had, it was one chili dog, no bun and some fries, but i ate so fast i don't think i really enjoyed it, but i didn't go back for more either so that's progress.
hope everyone has a good night's sleep and wakes up tomorrow refreshed and ready for more!

03-26-2008, 12:46 AM
Hi there everyone,
I am done with the two late night conference days!!! My allotting 200 extra cals for a dessert worked tonight. I felt great and drank lots of water too.

Sue: what you say about being solid when at home and in normal routine mode, is SO true for me also. I am so challenged by special events and life is full of "special events". By the way, I practically count driving home a different way a "special event". :) I would love to redo the days that you identified with you if you are interested in company on that path. Two days per week of redos sound great (I am getting a feeling of deja vu here...).

You are all so inspriing-keeping on keeping going.

I must hit the hay..will have a bit more time tomorrow night for a more thorough check in. Keep on truckin' everyone. Til tomorrow, Heidi

03-26-2008, 03:14 AM
Hi guys,

this day went quick!! Realized forgot to get something paper work in on time and had to get on the road for 5 hrs to get it done-Manana to do day 16 in the book. I really have to make peace with the NO Choice card or at least modifiy it in way which I consistantly use it. I am rebellious with the no choice idea-sort of get an "Oh Yeah watch me" attitude.- like you said onebyone- Anyway I need help on this one. I think the real biggie for me is emotional eating. When stressed It is like my mind says NO Choice to remaining on my food plan and sort of "I must" overeat to be calm. I think I would like to say no to emotional eating and yes to heathy eating.

Heidi-great minds-Since we did not eat at home as planned to my paperwork mishaps- I alloted 200 cals for a measured treat. I enjoyed it without going into mindless food land due to the trip.

Credit- i did get in at 1/2 hr swim-maybe shorter was good as muscles do get sore with the 1 hr pattern after a couple of days.

got all but 1/2lb to go to get all of the rest regain off.

must go DH has tick which must be removed immediatly,

03-26-2008, 07:07 AM
Diet Coaches – Interesting article in the April 2008 Nutrition Action Health Letter comparing lean and obese people. They instrumented the subjects for 8 weeks to measure their NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis) - meaning the time spent "ambulating" about not counting time designated as exercise time. Seems that lean people spend about 2.5 hours more per day (350 cals) moving rather than sitting. Sobering info. They conclude that low daily NEAT time is a major contribution to obesity.

Bought more strawberries yesterday went I went walking. We're really enjoying strawberries now. Then adult DD dropped by and "went shopping" in my fridge - goodbye half of them. Great, I'm now required to go walking again to get more - that's just throwing the rabbit into the brier patch, LOL.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for your half hour swim. Congrats on progress on the regain. And Kudos for going forward even when it's difficult.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for planning and executing the 200 calories for your evening. Such a good example of a premptive creative strategy to face a difficult situation. Yea that the conferences are over and you can get back to your comfortable schedule.

Mez (mezmerize) - Kudos for continuing to be Eight Mile Mez. Ouch for an acting up knee.

Barbara (barbpos) – Ouch! Kudos for being on a path to support your heart to help it find its way to ticking calmly. A sobering reminder to the rest of us that our healthy life styles show our love of our hearts. Sending you supporting thoughts.

onebyone – Congrats to your scale for settling down to reality. And thanks for your exposure of a thinking error that also slips into my mind so easily:I really really really thought that weight gain was permanent. I really really really believed that. And I was wrong. My greatest concern is going slightly off track and then dropping all efforts at the healthy life style. I'm capable of doing that when I sever the link in my brain that what I'm trying to do is possible and I can be responsible. And the easiest way for me to sever that link is by one of the 9 Common Thinking Errors of Program-day 26. So, I just reread them; thanks for the reminder. And Kudos for fighting them yourself.

Good perspective this: "Take the good thoughts and feelings where you can get them." Turns my negative thought into a positive one.

amy (gahundy) – Kudos for standing down the Desire for a midnight snack. And Big Kudos for seeing your thinking error so clearly, "for some reason i have it in my mind that it will help me sleep, it seldom does." Today must be fix our thinking errors day on the Beck thread.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - Kudos for overcoming "I'm putting it off" and reading Differentiate Between Hunger, Desire, and Cravings. And Kudos for focusing "for part of my meal." It constantly surprised me which part of the Beck stuff pushed my buttons, but push my buttons it did (and does). Ouch that you can't exercise right now, but, nevertheless, keep the faith and keep on keeping on.

Readers – "… And research continues to show that people who are significantly overweight are at higher risk for a number of diseases and medical conditions. … " From the Forward by Aaron T. Beck, M.D., Beck, pg 10.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-26-2008, 08:32 AM
Hello Coaches

Just a short post from me this morning to start my day off right. I stayed on plan yesterday. Credit moi. I did some extra walking last night, choosing the 15 minute walk from the transit station to my house instead of waiting the 14 minutes for my bus. Credit moi. I DID NOT EAT at my friend's house when she ofered me pizza and I was starving right after school. I dropped by for coffee and a chat and it always stretches into a 3 hour "quick chat" so by the time I got home it was 9pm. I got to her place around 5pm. But I waited and practiced Beck's "No Choice" and "Say No to Food Pushers" and got through it. Easier to stay on plan than get on plan kept running thorugh my head too. That line works for me. yay! credit moi.

Today is a very busy day off. 3 submissions are due on friday: 1) a miniature print submission for an international exhibit to be held at our school. Need to get 2 prints matted this morning 2) submitting work for the school's boutique. Need to make a few jewelry items for the showcase and get a painting together too... 3) scholarship applications are due. I wasn't going to enter but I can throw 5 things together and present them well, so, mostly under peer pressure (fellow students were aghast I wouldn't submit *sigh*), I will do that as well. Busy.

I'd better go. have to have breakfast and am off to the school. I'll be back later to check in with everyone. Bye for now!

03-26-2008, 08:51 AM
love my title... let's do my personals first as I'm often bad about those:

gahundy thanks for the support and I knew I liked you for a reason. "life is not tried it is merely survivied if you're standing outside the fire" ONE of my most favorite quotes of all time!
Congrats for noticing you were starved and ate too quickly. rushed eating is one of my big huge problems! it ties in to the practice hunger tolerance doesn't it? I mean I'm FINE if i'm not eating... and just keep NOT eating but once you throw that switch, i'm all up in the food! i guess we have to figure out that fine line between not eating and being in control and that first bite that opens the flood gates....

hbuchwald I too am fine as long as i have my day to day routine... take me out of that and i'm floundering... so many of us are creatures of habits. congrats on your 200 calorie dessert plan working.

coastalsue congrats on your swim. I too rebel at "no choice" and i haven't even gotten there yet... did you get the tick off of your DH???

BillBlueEyes thanks for that article. doesn't it tie in well with the spontaneous exercise ideas of Becks???
as for weight loss not being permanent... i think we will all forever have to be vigilant in our efforts... and i think that's so unfair... but then i haven't gotten to the life is not fair part of the plan yet....

onebyone congrats on staying on plan and taking that walk instead of waiting for the bus! and for saying NO! WELL DONE!

ah ok... now me

today is day 11/12 (they seem so joined to me) practice hunger tolerance.

been there done that. not happening today as we have major lunch plans...

i'm still thinking about eat slowly and mindfully... i wonder if i can even move on to hunger toleralnce if I haven't mastered slowly and mindfully yet....

i am thinking which is a better day to do hunger tolerance a work day when i get home and i would inhale everything or a day i'm already home and there's food all over all the time... i can't see using a day that i'm naturally busy and have no time to eat as a fair test of hunger tolerance.

and besides what do i do about the fact that hunger tolerance goes against EVERYTHING my plan is about???

03-26-2008, 02:11 PM
ok coaches, new dilema...i ate my lunch (mashed potatos w/chicken and gravy and carrots) slowly and tasting each bite, but when i was done i was not satisfied. i wasn't hungry, just felt like something was missing. i don't know what i wanted, i just felt like i needed something else. someone brought oreos in but i didn't have one of those, but i did have a bite of a pnut butter sandwhich cookie ( i figured since i don't care for those as much as oreos i wouldn't eat more than one.) ate one bite of it and decided that it just didn't taste good and threw the rest away. i did eat a piece of hard candy though. i feel a little better, but still feel like i am missing something.
i never thought i would be able to say that i wanted something else to eat but knew that i wasn't hungry! how does everyone deal with wanting something more even when not hungry? do you eat it anyway or do you wait to have it when you are hungry? just curious. like i said i have never had these thoughts about food before so i am being thrown a curve ball here. it's so weird how i can see that some of my thinking has changed already!

03-26-2008, 07:42 PM
gahundy what do you want hot? sweet? texture? I know for me a meal is not over till i have something hot and sweet... coffee or tea usually....

03-26-2008, 08:40 PM
thanks nessa,
i think i was looking for something sweet and crunchy. i am trying not to eat if i am not hungry. we'll see how it goes tomorrow. thanks for being so sweet to me.

03-26-2008, 08:49 PM
thanks nessa,
i think i was looking for something sweet and crunchy. i am trying not to eat if i am not hungry. we'll see how it goes tomorrow. thanks for being so sweet to me.

ah a NAME amy!

amy i was struggling with that today... i ate my egg and v8 very late for me (around 8:30 instead of 7) because i waited for hunger... then at 10:30 i was still not HUNGRY... well about a 3 or 4 on a scale of ten but my plan tells us to eat every 2-3 hours.... so I ate it.

now it's 7:45 pm and i ate a late lunch at 2 pm ish and i'm just starting to feel hungry about a 6 or 7 on a scale of 10 I would say.. maybe a 5 i'm not sure... see that for me is the hard one.... I know FULL 0 or 1 on a scale of 10 with 10 being starving

I know STARVING 10 or 11 on a scale of 10

what is HUNGRY..... what is full? what is mildly full?

shades of gray.... <deep sigh>

03-27-2008, 12:35 AM
HI everyone,
Coastalsue: Yowch on that tick for hubby. Hope that came out easily! Yes, that 200 cal allotment really worked! Glad that it worked for you too. Excellent that you are so close to getting back to your pregain weight.

BillBlueEyes: Very interesting (as I walk in place and type at the same time…ha!). That really does speak to it being a lifestyle thing doesn’t it?

Onebyone: Kudos on walking instead of bussing!

Nessa: Good luck with hunger tolerance when you are ready for it!

Amy: It is great to notice your thinking is changing about food. I guess I try to distract myself when I want something…or figure out what I am trying to solve by eating if it isn’t hunger. Coffee/tea was a great suggestion from Nessa.

On plan today and feeling good. Only two conferences left to reschedule but the bulk of them are behind me now! I am so close to having lost 50 lbs. my reward for myself is getting some of those sliding drawers for deep kitchen cabinets to be able to access cooking tools more easily.

I am actually looking forward to cooking something tomorrow and also figuring out what I want to cook sounds fun…amazing.

Off to look at beck book before snoozing!

Til tomorrow, Heidi

03-27-2008, 02:42 AM
Hi folks,

DH had a very nasty tick-plus had a sore reaction to the bugger. Now it is the wait and see if there are any lyme symptoms. it was got out quick which is good and less likely for lyme to develope.

Tonight we just got the live mouse kitty brought in- returned to the outdoors- 2nd one she brought into the house this week-the joys of rural living.

Chpter 16 Prevent unplanned eating

premise-the internal argument when struggling with eating or not eating something not part of the food plan causes tension which is emotionally and physically uncomfortable and when you make a decision about the eating the tension is reduced.

solutions-Firmly sayiing NO CHOICE to eating food not part of your food plan. This will decrease the struggle and discomfort. She likens this to brushing your teeth-You do not struggle over mundane everyday tasks-one just does the everyday rules of brushing your teeth.

Results-once you establish the NO CHOICE rule you rarely break it, don't think about it much, don't struggle, don't feel conflicted, don't feel deprieved and don't eat food you will regret seconds later. I.E. As your brain gets this retraining it will get easier.

In the text she include additional rules she folows for her food plan

1. eat substantial amounts of protein, veggies, and fruit at every meal,
2. the only junk food is after dinner.
3. only eat raw veggies while preparing dinner.
4. When eating out eat only up 25% more that I usually do when I'm home.

Make a NO CHOICE card and read it often.

this is the all time tough one for me to consistantly follow. Staying on a healthy food plan will never become a mundane tasks for me as there are a ton of complex/emotional reasons for me to overeat. I think on some primal level food will always be calming for me-intellectually I know food is not a fix it all and the consequences of using that way is horrible for my body.

Here is my card-GET REAL- get real to learn how to cope with tension and have a healthy body at the same time. Let the vision of food being emotionally healing go. It cures hunger not fatigue, sadiness, anger, confusion ect.

my other rules
1. Eat less than 1600 cals using foods of low fat, high fiber, proteins, veggies and fruits and some grains.
2. Swim at least 4 times a week for at least 4 hrs a week
3. 200 cals a day for a treat which can be planned or used for " for controlled implusive" eating-
4. When eating out, eating out up to only 25 % more that home-I find this can be used up just by the heavy use of fats in resturant cooking even in their veggies.
5. Highly "addictive" foods are not allowed in my home-(this basically is some unhealthy processed type of candy, cookies ect.) even skinny DH has improved cholesterol scores without the stuff. Makes going to the movies even more fun for the rare candy treat.

would love to hear your reactions. feedback and how you stop unplanned eating-

Heidi yeah for being close to 50 b lighter!! Like you I am amazed how much DH and I have slowly changed our cooking and meal prep-We now actually love a large range of veggies-big step from the potatoes and frozen peas dishes.Keep it up.

Onebyone-bravo for the walking and having some mottos to help stay on your plan-It is easier to stay on than to get back on again. Very True I can go into a number of days of "last' meal pattern-overeating because tomarrow I'll stop. then 4 lbs later what a pain to get off.

BillBlueEyes- So agree about all of those daily steps of the skinny-I live with a guy who can go and down the staris dozens of time to my once. I leave stuff on the stairs to make one big trip he just goes and forth continously. We joke he has two speeds go and sleep. Glad you have good berries-ours are still rather tasteless-look pretty but just missing that yummy factor.

Ladybugnessa and Gahundy-I also been thinking about what gives me a sense a treat the end of the meal. Checking out what gives you that taste is great. I have learned I like really strong taste-For dinner I have a 40 cal piece of super strong chocolate-so much flavor just a bit is satisfying, also love strong ginger flavors - I finding that strong taste is also a signal I am done eating. Hard candy may be your ticket or that hot beverage at the end of a meal. Glad you two made those points.

Ladybugnessa-When I did the hunger exercise I learned how rarely I actually felt hunger-and the other biggie for me was that after I ate the alloted amount and stopped it did take 20 minutes to feel fuller. I thought maybe years of overeating has "damaged' my ability to feel true hunger. So now my goal is to just learn to eat a "normal' amount of cals instead and kind of ignore pondering hunger too much. I can have some very hungry, hungry days on 1600 cals and other day are so easy-little or no hunger. Either way I stick to 1600 cals.

Best wishes to all


03-27-2008, 06:24 AM
Diet Coaches – Re: Program-day 16: Prevent Unplanned Eating. (Thanks Sue.) I recognize that feeling of calmness when eating on plan most strongly as the absence of entertaining rather odd thoughts of how to get as much food as possible (as I think when I'm in an unplanned situation). Even though I plan to eat samples at Whole Foods, I still find myself wondering if I can spear two cubes of cheese with one stick of the toothpick. Now, that's really embarrassing, really grubby. But that's exactly the thinking of my previous continuously grazing lifestyle and it's sitting right there on my brain. Sometimes I am able to recognize the errant thinking with toothpick in hand, and then, sometimes able to change the thinking. It's the stupid thinking that bugs me, not the 2nd cube of cheese.

If that kind of thinking went away, I'd feel more confident that my journey is safely a lifetime change. On the other hand, perhaps it would be wise of me to accept that this thinking does exist in my brain, it isn't going away, and to work harder at being on guard to counter it rather than complaining about it. Gotta work on that.

Sue (CoastalSue) - Kudos for responding so rapidly to your DH's tick; sending best wishes that it doesn't convey lyme disease. I like your GET REAL card and the thought "Let the vision of food being emotionally healing go. It cures hunger not fatigue, sadness, anger, confusion etc." Good stuff those five rules you have.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Congrats for being close to 50 pounds lost and Kudos for having a reward planned for getting there. LOL at " I walk in place and type at the same time." You remind me that the article confronted me with the fact that I have been and I am a more sedentary person. I have friends (lean) who are always moving. I have a relative (obese) who is amazing at being able to sit in exactly one place for LONG periods of time. I had the feeling that it's unfair that I'm more sedentary - my daily walking is planned. Must consider using the unfairness strategies on that one.

onebyone – Big Kudos for using NO CHOICE while hungry during a "3 hour quick chat" - such good Beck style. Kudos for the 15 minute walk. Sending supportive thoughts that you get your submissions done this week, and wishing you good luck that the various judges see your work.

amy (gahundy) – Kudos for describing so well the feeling of not being done even though not hungry. Beck writes at length about Desire - when we want more just because we want more. In addition to Nessa's suggestions, what works for me at lunch is a LARGE bowl of raw veggies. They stretch out my lunch so that the mildly full feeling can get to my brain as well as adding to my fullness (and besides I love them).

Yep, I'd agree with you, "that some of my thinking has changed already." It's a big deal to be able to stand back and see feelings of hunger, desire, and cravings rather than just to respond to them. Kudos, Kudos; you're on your way here.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) - LOL at your title; boy does Beck ever bring out our resistance to being told what to do. Re: "what do i do about the fact that hunger tolerance goes against EVERYTHING my plan is about???" I shared that conflict; I eat 3 snacks between my 3 meals just to keep hunger in check. However, my take is that the goal of skipping a meal is to experience that 1) the discomfort of hunger is fairly low compared to other discomforts, and 2) that hunger goes away after a brief spell, allowing us to conclude for ourselves that 3) Hunger is not an emergency. Using a day when you skip a meal because you're too busy would seem to allow the exercise if you are able to take the time to record the discomfort and its duration.

Since I've done the exercise, I continue with my snacks, but with less feeling of desperation that the result of getting hungry will throw me off track. Now, when I do skip a meal or snack my mind is clear to use some of the strategies to keep from eating out of control when I next eat - such as starting with hot soup or water, and extra care to eat slowly and mindfully to support stopping since part of my brain is screaming for me to eat uncontrollably to make up for the great deprivation. Good luck figuring out how to proceed through this.

Readers – "… Most individuals who lose weight on a diet start to gain it back within a year. … " From the Forward by Aaron T. Beck, M.D., Beck, pg 10.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-27-2008, 09:23 AM
Coaches! Hello!

So many great posts to read. This morning I am just letting your words seep into me.

I am tired. I have much to do today to get everything completed for tomorrow. I heard the prints I want to submit have been matted and are ready for pickup, so one submission is almost complete. I opted to go to a movie yesterday evening, partly to maintain our (DH and me) movie date committment which we both enjoy, instead of pushing myself to make things when I was overly tired. I knew it was not in me to make things yesterday. Today, it'll just have to be! I can rest tomorrow after school. I faced a big challenge at the theatre. I planned to get a big coffee at the show (I was really looking forward to it) and for the umpteenth time coffee was unavailable. I didn't want a diet pop-- I am trying to limit fake sugars-yuk-and I did not want to pay $3 for a bottle of water. I think from now on I'll bring an empty container to get tap water in case the coffee isn't available again. DH got the #1: medium popcorn, large pop (reg) and small candy (red nibs a favorite of mine). I had nothing. We stood at the candy counter for a few extra minutes while I fumed over the lack of coffee again, and DH commiserated with me and offered to buy me something else and I just said no. I thought just go in, sit down, watch the show. No problem. OH WELL... he offered me popcorn and candy, but only once. I said no both times. And when I got home I was happy that I didn't give in. I kept thinking the food was not worth the fretting over the calories, the going off plan, the giving in again... And when I came home I didn't overeat over my annoynance either. So that was my big success yesterday. I am usually weak under stress and so far so good. I need to stay on guard for the next few days and through the weekend! Thanks for being here gang. I have to rush off again... enjoy your day!

03-27-2008, 09:56 AM
Good morning everyone... so much to say to so many....

did not move forward to day 12 yet... still chewing (pardon the pun) on day 11 and the hunger tolerance. I've been there with minor tolerance. what i wonder about is those days that i've had the drop in blood sugar and i'm weak, and queasy, and light headed.... and i know it's just cause i need to eat... and sometimes i just have to wait to get home to do this... oh it's an awful horrible feeling but no it won't kill me... I KNOW THIS.

sometimes i think that although I don't have an eating disorder I do have eating issues... not sure this cognitive therapy works well on ADHD folks however....

yesterday i was off my plan because I ate sushi. I felt so guilty about it NOT because i was off my plan but BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE who i know ONLINE only, gave me a hard time about it. I'm so not perfect but that does not mean I don't know what i'm talking about when I explain SBD to others. I didn't realize that being perfect on the plan was a prerequiste for helping... I think my anger really affected the way i feel about me.... maybe i should NOT help... maybe i'm not competent. but i'm 75 pounds lighter than i was March 2006.... that's gotta count for SOMETHING right???


03-27-2008, 11:16 AM
hi all!

Nessa, just a quick reply - your feelings after someone gave you a hard time online - sounds like you've really internalized it. if that makes you feel bad, let it go! someone else has issues with being perfectly on plan, and it is what it is, but it doesn't have anything to do with you. this person was reacting to something internal for him/her, just like whatever button s/he managed to push in you is internal for you. it's just a thought or a feeling, but it sounds like it's triggering something in you. if i had to guess, i'd say it's got something to do with your feeling criticized or not good enough. might be a useful opportunity for you to discover something about how you've been operating in the world. i had a similar experience on the nursing moms thread, when someone wrote about her beautiful natural childbirth, and that the hospital/pain med/ etc. part of it was unnecessary, caused by mistaken beliefs about pain during childbirth. it PISSED ME OFF bigtime and i felt like i was being personally criticized and judged for the way my labor and delivery went. made me even madder because i'd invested 5 months into hypnobirthing classes, and right up until the big event i was saying all the things this poster was saying. i got so mad i never posted there again. yeah, that showed her. :^: no one judges me and makes me feel bad without being aware of it!

also had some thoughts about your issues with day 12. i had the exact same ones - and i overdid it, and ended up with a headache and low blood sugar. it sucked. if you start feeling bad, EAT SOMETHING! :) it's not meant to be the Batan death march. i'm in agreement with Bill.

hopefully i'll have time to check in later but if i don't, oh well!

03-27-2008, 12:26 PM
nessa: i am so sorry you had such a rough day. you are here to get support and to give it, not to be someone's perfect personal role model. if you can be a role model that's great but that person needs to realize that not everyone is perfect even role models. and i am sorry but big whoop that you ate sushi, it is one of the more healthier choices that i know of, fish, rice, veggies, i never heard of anyone thinking sushi was an unhealthy choice. and even if it was deep fried and smothered in chocolate, who cares? you have lost ALOT of weight and if you need something special on occasion, go for it! boy now i am getting worked up! we must have bonded somewhere in the posting.:flow2: i know that today will be better!

i just wanted to say "thanks" to everybody for all the great advice on wanting to eat even though i wasn't hungry, it's also good to know that i am normal in this and everybody feels this way sometimes.
today i am in a very good mood( i remembered to take my b12 and i am pratically flying) bfast was string cheese and a fruit bowl, no morning snack, lunch will be a healthy choice meal although at the moment i can't remember which one and dinner will be chili. i also have a step class this afternoon. so things are going very well for me and i am staying positive and motivated so yay me!
will come back and check on every body else later when i get more time, busy busy at work today!
have a great day everybody!!!

03-27-2008, 12:36 PM
Amy darling thanks... this person actually is almost to goal and I do treat A LOT... white rice is not allowed on my plan. I'm actually thinking of switching to my secondary plan.... for a while at least....

I would like to announce that I waited today to eat my oatmeal till I felt hunger pangs... that growling empty tummy feeling. now i have mouth hunger but it's lunch time around here... but i cannot be hungry... an hour ago i ate oatmeal and a banana...

03-28-2008, 01:43 AM
Hello Coaches

I'm jumping the gun on posting this tomorrow post while it's still technically today (11:55pm) but I've got a ton to do in the morning before class and I wanted to check in before I find I haven't checked in at all.
I had an interesting thing happen to me today. I ended up missing lunch today (it seems to happen on Thursdays) and I ate my breakfast/lunch snack at 5pm while waiting for the bus to take me home from school. So there I am on the bus, and it passes by this great middle eastern food place that's near where I live. I see their big sign out advertising their special: whole roast chicken, rice, potatoes and salad, $14.99. Okay, so I am tired, stressed, still pretty hungry (7/10) and I just got mad when i read the sign. I thought "I can't believe I'm never going to be able to eat until I am overstuffed again." Lest I reveal my poor food ways, in another day and time I would have eaten that whole chicken, except for maybe a leg, and most of everything else too. I would have been so full to bursting that I truly would feel sick, but at the same time, in those moods, I'd be thinking what food was next and planning me getting it while I was still eating what was in front of me. I just ate ate ate until I hurt. what's weird about the thoughts is that some part of me obviously assumes I am serious with this Beck stuff and that I may not do that to myself anymore. Gee. could that be true? Have I actually digested Beck to that point? I knew that I was in a danger zone once I started eating and so I had my dinner. Then I had a measured desert. And I still wanted to eat, trying to excuse it by saying I had missed a meal so I was "entitled" to more, but I didn't give in. I told myself I could have more in an hour or two if I still wanted it and I got busy again and now it's too late so that's that. Credit moi.

I just lost everything else I wrote over the last half hour :mad: and I am really sleepy now so I will say goodnight and wish you guys all the best for tomorrow! TGIF:woohoo:

03-28-2008, 05:55 AM
Diet Coaches – At my dental checkup yesterday, I was told my flossing was good. CREDIT moi. [Slightly embarrassed to be giving myself credit like a little kid.] Wishing I could go for a regular Beck checkup where I’m poked with little needles and declared to be following the rules, LOL.

Yesterday I worked late under much duress, feeling all the stress, but didn’t go to the vending machines. I had my own stash of a healthy emergency snack (1//4 cup of soy nuts) to tide me over while working late and missing my relaxed tea and snack at home. CREDIT moi.

One more day of crunch time at work before returning to normal. I’ll just read my Believe It card this morning and attack my day knowing that I can do it without resorting to mindless trips to the vending machines. It just blows my mind that that is possible for me. Life would be simpler if I didn't procrastinate and get in these binds, but, given that I do, it's nice that I won't try to eat my way out of it like I previously did.

Sue (CoastalSue) – Waving toward the West Coast.

Heidi (hbuchwald) - Waving toward the West Coast.

Jean (kuhljeanie) – Sending supporting thoughts for feeling dissed about childbirth. I understand the feeling of being judged and that the feeling is doubled when it’s misdirected. Our second child was an emergency C-sect when the midwife turned DW over to the resident because DD wouldn't turn head down. Emergency enough that I had to stand outside the door even though fully garbed to be inside. Later, it made me cringe wondering if I had been one of those people who sounded too smug describing the near text book midwife delivery of our first. Cringing again just thinking about it.

onebyone – Kudos to your DH for offering popcorn only once – great that he doesn’t try to deal with HIS discomfort at your unhappiness by pushing food!!! Kudos to you both for working out a relationship so that he knows that that’s the right thing to do. Kudos to you for turning it down when emotions were sufficiently amok to run the show. If you can handle that one, you can do anything. It appears to me that Beck has crept into the fiber of your bones - there’s no turning back now, LOL.

And then you do it again the next night. Just WOW at the thoughts about that whole chicken dinner - especially because I could have had the exact same thoughts. Why am I still drawn to massive over eating? I’m not nearly so drawn to a tasty chicken as I am to a WHOLE chicken. Doubly so to a whole chicken with LARGE sides at a VALUE PRICE. Every Saturday I drool when I walk past the market special of a flame broiled chicken for $3.99. Since DW serves chicken several times a week I’m not chicken deprived, but I am WHOLE chicken deprived. This isn’t thinking like a thin person. Big Kudos for using your Beck to stand down the attraction. It encourages me that someone else who is working on a sane approach to food can have their entire massive human intelligence flare up in such a manner. < /my rant about old thinking on your time>

amy (gahundy) – Good to hear all is well today.

Nessa (ladybugnessa) – Kudos for working through your anger about being dissed for sushi. Methinks that’s just what Beck is trying to push us toward - to be aware of what we’re thinking to give us a chance to reevaluate thinking errors. Also think that Jean (kuhljeanie)’s response, "it's not meant to be the Bataan death march," is a great perspective for getting through Program-day 12: Practice Hunger Tolerance.

I’ve never heard the phrase "mouth hunger". Is that yours?

Readers – "…Few medical treatments have been developed to ameliorate this problem, and the treatments that do exist have significant drawbacks. … " From the Forward by Aaron T. Beck, M.D., Beck, pg 10.

Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

03-28-2008, 09:05 AM
quick post Bill check page 117 of Beck... where is your hunger.. is it in your mouth or your throat. it's interesting that she asks that since I've always used the term MOUTH HUNGER to indicate that I want to eat when i'm not physcially hungry...

today is a much better day! yay me. I was spot on my food plan yesterday Yay me! or CREDIT MOI as the word of choice I guess.

still struggling with feeling like a failure for not being at goal nearly 2 years into my quest and for being 3 pounds heavier than my lowest weight on plan so far.... but that's for a different post...

Picked SATURDAY for my skip lunch day.... we will be running around it's a good day... then we are going to a bull roast for dinner. my biggest fear is that i'll be SO hungry that i'll eat off plan food.... sometimes it's hard to be doing South Beach when we go out and i dont' have CHOICES of what food is offered....

Today is Day 13... Overcome Cravings....

since i've been on plan for nearly 2 years and "just say no" is already part of my vocabulary I don't see where this will be an issue.

i did practice mindful and slow eating of my egg this morning. i sort of gulped my v8 but it was good...

i work on mindful and slow again with oatmeal!

03-28-2008, 09:36 AM
Hi Beckies,

Haven't posted in a few days (again), since my scary heart night. I've been fine since then. Food and exercise continue to go very well for me....I'm working on believing it. One by one, I loved the story about the chicken....I can so relate....Yes, we may never do that kind of thing to ourselved again.

Today is day 40 for me!!!!!! Overall, I'm feeling very solid in this. So far, there haven't been any major slips or major struggles. I'm trying to BELIEVE IT...part of me is still expecting the other shoe to drop, though.

I'm getting ready to take it on the road...going to a family wedding in NJ this weekend, leaving Sat. a.m. and coming back Monday. Dinner and family gathering on Sat. evening, wedding is Sun. mid-afternoon. I've been planning food and exercise. I'm bringing some snacks with me, meals will be moderate and low fat to the extent available. I'm planning on exercising on Sat. before we leave, and bringing exercise clothes with me. There should be time for either the fitness center at the hotel or a walk outside on Sunday before the wedding and on Monday morning, since we'll probably wait until after rush hour to leave.

One thing I've been thinking about is sweets. I've had a couple of relatively long sweet-free stretches in my life (about a year each), and when I've gone back to eating sweets it's been with out-of-control vengeance. Now I've been 40 days sweet free, but thinking it may be best to not have a total sweets taboo. So, my current plan is to allow myself 3 slow savored bites of sweets at the wedding. I really hope this goes well.