Weight Loss Support - So.. When are you due??

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02-28-2008, 02:11 AM
I dont think I have ever asked someone that question, unless I was 1000% sure they were pregnant!!
I know Im fat, lady, so why put it in my face!!!

I usually just "try" to laugh it off with them, and usually end up insulting myself. But those comments hurt peoples feelings. Im trying to lose weight, why when I go someone I have to be constantly reminded that im fat. LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!!!

How do you reply to this? Do I just keep making fun of myself with them?? Or do I say something rude back??

02-28-2008, 03:33 AM
Just say 'No.' Trust me, they will realize the error of their ways.

02-28-2008, 07:42 AM
I've been asked this 3 times in my life. I have always just said, "I'm not" and then they get a horrified look on their face.

It's an AWFUL feeling.

02-28-2008, 08:23 AM
I was asked this for the first time when I was *12* years old. I was wandering through a clothing store, maybe I was in the maternity section, I really don't know. I'll never know what possessed that woman to ask a child that, even if I had been a pregnant 12 year old I wouldn't have wanted to discuss it with a stranger. :( At the time I was so embarrassed and humiliated. Actually, this is the first time I've ever told anyone about it. The other two times were as an adult, and as soon as I answered "No" the questioners were the ones embarrassed.

I've learned to NEVER ask anyone that question, unless I can see the baby actually coming out.

Don't make fun of yourself with them! It's their own stupidity that caused them to ask it, why should you accept any of the blame. Just say no, and let them deal with trying to recover the conversation.

02-28-2008, 08:31 AM
They are the ones who should be embarrassed. And they will be as soon as you say "Due for what?"

jtammy - how awful that someone would ask a young girl that >_<

02-28-2008, 09:53 AM
I don't think I have ever been asked that question, but it blows me away that people ask it without being a million % positive that the woman is indeed pregnant. I don't even know how I would react to that question....

02-28-2008, 10:23 AM
They are the ones who should be embarrassed. And they will be as soon as you say "Due for what?"

jtammy - how awful that someone would ask a young girl that >_<

Love that--due for what?

And Jtammy--I'm sorry that happened to you... :hug:

Unless I see a baby coming out of the va-j-j, I would never ask when someone was due.... :^:

02-28-2008, 11:23 AM
I guess I have a mean streak. "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat." Simple and factual, and is a sure conversation stopper!

02-28-2008, 11:41 AM
Just say 'No.' Trust me, they will realize the error of their ways.

Oh, you would think wouldnt you. I had a checker in my local grocery ask me when I was due once ..I wasnt even all THAT heavy then, but I had a poochy sweatshirt.

The BAD part was for the next 2 years she kept asking me how the baby was...and I had no children. "Oh I thought I remembered you being pregnant."

Finally after the 4th or 5th time I said very bluntly "No, you remember THINKING I was pregnant when I was just fat. " That did finally seem to stop it.

02-28-2008, 11:57 AM
My waist has alway been my biggest body area and I got so sick of being asked "when's your baby due?" that I just started saying "in 2 weeks".

02-28-2008, 12:03 PM
Oh, Lily, that is really funny!!! I thought when I got older and my hair started graying that I would never have to put up with that comment again. Nevertheless, at almost 59 yr. old, a woman asked me that less than 6 mo. ago! My heart sank. A friend said I should have taken it as a compliment. The lady must have thought I looked young enough to be pg. ha!

02-28-2008, 12:07 PM
Even though my tummy is the biggest part of me, I've never been asked that. Not sure why. I'd definitely be horrified if someone thought I was pregnant.

02-28-2008, 12:09 PM
Unless I see a baby coming out of the va-j-j, I would never ask when someone was due.... :^:

My podiatrist apparently takes that policy. I went to see him when my metatarsals collapsed during my last pregnancy. I wrote pregnant on the intake form. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant and at that point I looked pregnant.

I could tell he was trying to avoid the topic, but since excess weight and loose ligaments was causing my problem I finally said "I know it is because I am 8 months pregnant, but can we make it so I am not bed bound until I deliver?"

02-28-2008, 12:30 PM
Oh, I've had this one happen to me, but it was a child who said it! I was shopping, and a little girl came up to me and told her mother "there is a baby in there"! Her mother was mortified, and I just had to laugh. I was about 175 pounds at the time, and didn't think that I was THAT overweight. I can say that the incident was truly motivational, though!:)

02-28-2008, 12:59 PM
Interesting... my tummy and chest are huge compared to the rest of me. I have been asked a few times if I was pregnant. One time I did what Lily said and I told the lady that I was pregnant. I just got tired of it. I only got asked that when I weighed less. At my HW I never have been asked, probably because the rest of me is fat too so people think "she's just fat" instead of that I'm pregnant. Hopefully on the weight LOSS journey I won't encounter the pregancy question. It really ticks me off. Even if I see a woman who is OBVIOUSLY pregnant I don't ask her about it. If she wants to tell me then she will, it's really none of my business.

02-28-2008, 01:10 PM
I was asked that once. I replied something along the lines of, "I'm not." The woman was an acquaintance and boy was she mortified. I think that the dress I was wearing at the time was not the most flattering, but you'd think someone who knew me somewhat would realize that it was fat not a pregnancy.

Some women you can tell without a doubt, some not. If it isn't blindingly obvious I don't say anything. Actually, I usually only say something if I know the person (which means it's usually common knowledge.)

02-28-2008, 01:15 PM
I've never been asked, but one Christmas my parents came down for the holidays and my father kept staring at my stomach with a judgemental look on his face (I'm single) the entire week. I could tell what he was thinking and it looked like he was going to ask a couple of times. Even though he never did, I was still mortified.

I don't ever ask either. One - for the obvious but also I've had several friends who have miscarried or can't get pregnant and you just never know what place they're in. I think the whole subject is taboo unless the person brings it up.

Actually, there was a lady that works at the same place as I do and a co-worker and I were trying to decide if she was pregnant for the longest time a few years ago. Finally I noticed her reaching for something off a shelf and saw the tummy panel on her jeans. Amazingly enough she was out on maternity leave within a month or two!

02-28-2008, 04:25 PM
oh man, I've never been asked that question thank god! I think it's b/c I'm so tall that my torso just doesn't shape into the pregnant belly thing. I just carry lots of weight everywhere!

Although, on the negative side, when I *DO* get pregnant, I don't think people will be able to tell so much b/c I am so tall. I want a big ol' crazy preggie belly... but I think I have too much room in my body cavity and doubt I'll get much more than a little pouch. :(

Ah well. At least I can then pretend that the stretch marks on my belly are TOTALLY due to the baby, right? :lol:

02-28-2008, 10:28 PM
I like "for what?" :lol:

My answer was "I'm not - that's 100% ice cream" Nothing like the truth... :s:

02-28-2008, 10:37 PM
I just say "Soon. But it's distressing because we don't know who the mother is".

02-28-2008, 11:00 PM
I have been guilty of committing this crime. AND believe me, I was horrified both times. I did this twice. The first time, I said to myself "self, I will NEVER do that again"...well after about 10 years I guess I forgot that conversation with myself and actually committed this horrible foot in mouth crime again not too long ago. I am an RN in a neonatal ICU, we attend high risk deliveries and I went to a delivery and was taking the baby to the nursery. I stopped with the dad to show the other family in the hallway the new baby. One of his sisters looked 7-8 months pregnant. She was slim everywhere except that pregnancy looking torso. Now mind you, I see women pregnant every day, I see them in all stages of pregnancy as most of our patients (babies) are born prematurely. She laughed with me and said she was not pregnant but hadn't lost her weight from her babies yet...I only hope she wasn't hurt. I certainly did not mean to hurt her.
The first time I made the error, about 10 years ago now, I was also working and was coming into work for the day. I met up with another nurse who used to work in our unit but worked on another floor at that time. She had been so slender the last time I saw her. She had gotten married about 3-4 years prior and she had just gained weight, but I didn't know this and she was carrying her weight like she was pregnant. I made a terrible assumption that she was pregnant. I was horrified, she said don't worry about it, others have asked the same thing. Again...I never meant to hurt her and I hope it did not hurt her. I KNOW she was annoyed. So, once again, I have had a repeat conversation with myself. I hope to never again ask someone something that is potentially hurtful. I did apologize both times.
I doubt that anyone who asks this has any intent to be hurtful.

Chinchilla Fairy
03-01-2008, 01:20 AM
They are the ones who should be embarrassed. And they will be as soon as you say "Due for what?"

That is the best response I've ever heard. :D

03-01-2008, 11:32 AM
"So.. When are you due??"

I'd personally probably respond...

"So.. When did you last put your foot in your mouth?"

03-01-2008, 07:43 PM
One of the main reasons I won't wear any high-waisted dresses is that I carry all my excess weight in my stomach area and I just know people will think I'm 8-9 months along. It's also why I'm trying so hard to lose it!

03-01-2008, 08:55 PM
i have not personally had this happen, but my little sister has, only she was 9 when she got her first accusation of pregnancy. Seriously people. She was 9...and she cried. i hope she made them feel terrible for asking that....i almost feel like the way that they asked her it was an attempt to make her realize what she looked like....DUMB.

cephalopod gal
03-01-2008, 09:14 PM
I just say "Soon. But it's distressing because we don't know who the mother is".


Why is this one of the best things I have ever heard. (or read... whatever).

Oh Lordy me. I am writing this down.