It broke my heart when I came home this evening to very troubled children. Apparently a someone had committed suicide on the playground at their school this morning.
I can understand that some people feel that they need to do such a thing - but WHY in a safe haven where it is exposed to children?
The Calgary Board of Education sent their Crisis team to visit each class and explained to the children what had happened and allowed them some time to ask questions.
They will be having an Aboriginal elder perform a Clensing and smudge tomorrow at 10am for the children to reclaim their playground.
Does anyone know what this is?
This was the letter I received.
Dear Parents,
I need to tell you of a sad and tragic incident that happened at our school today. Early this monrning, it was reported to me and Ms. Magee that a person's body was found on the playground. We immediately called the Calgary Police service and Calgary EmS. They, along with the Calgary Fire Services, responded quickly. Sadly, the paramedics and police informed us that the person had chosen to take their own life and had not survived. This person was not connected to our school community in any way. The police also confirmed that there is no reason for concern to the wider community.
When our students came to school today, they were centainly aware that we, as a school community had an experience that was out of the ordinary. With support from the CBE Crisis Team, classroom discussions were held by teachers to provide a context for the kids to understand what had occurredi in an honest and factual way. Kids were given an opportunity to discuss their thoughs, feelings and reactions openly. Kids expressed a need to reclaim the playground so that it can continue to be a safe place of play. To attend to this request an elder from the Abroiginal community will be present to perform a clensing and smudge tomorrow at 10am. This will be part of a larger event where the students' voices and actions will reclaim our playground. Parents are more than welcome to be pard of this observance.
Parents are encouraged to speak about this incident with their kids in an honest and straighforward manner, reassuring them that they are safe at school. The safety and well-being of our child is always a primary concern at the gunn (school). Due to the circumstances of the morning, we have put off having our lock down drill (An elementary school in the city had a lock down last week due to a "predator" in the area). As always we will continue to work with our students to ensure that they feel safe and cared for.
Last edited by tamaralynn; 02-27-2008 at 07:09 PM.
They will be having an Aboriginal elder perform a Clensing and smudge tomorrow at 10am for the children to reclaim their playground.
Does anyone know what this is?
Cleansing and smudge ceremonies usually involve the burning of sacred herbs, rituals to banish negativity and lingering spirits and to secure a space energetically, blessing it. You could look at it as an indigenous, traditional version of a Catholic or other religious ritual involving similar intentions and tools.
I didn't officially hear anything else, but there is a rumor going around that a group of grade 6 students found the body.
Another rumor (which I cant say that I believe) is that it was a murder, but the police are covering it up due to the idea that it may cause a large worry in and around the community and city.
I can't say for sure, as there was nothing in the paper about it. I don't know if they are covering it up because it is a suicide (suicides are very rarely reported in papers, due to the worry that it could cause more people who have suicidal tendancies to act - this is from a police friend of the family). Our friend has heard of the incident, but hasn't been filled in on the details as he works in another district across the city, but if it is in the paper and news - he figures they may decide to do so after the smudge.
Last edited by tamaralynn; 02-28-2008 at 08:25 AM.
I think making counseling available, but not forcing it, is appropriate. I remember in college as a freshman (almost 25 years ago!), a bunch of my friends persuaded me to participate in sorority "rush." None of us had our hearts set on joining a sorority, and of the five of us, only one was asked to join (and she turned it down). When we were each told the "bad news" we were offered counseling to cope with the rejection. I had a hard time keeping a straight face (still do, thinking about it), still apparently it can be an issue for some people, and I'm not going to judge that (ok, I can't help it, I do a little bit, but if an 18 year old woman can "need" counseling because she didn't get into a sorrority, having counseling available for kids because there was a dead body on the playground sure makes alot more sense).
As a developmental psychologist (and former child) I don't think children are nearly as resilient as we would like to believe. Children appear to bounce back easily because they don't share their fears and phobias with adults (mostly because when they do, parents and other adults dismiss their fears). I was terrified of my closet for years. We lived in an old Victorian house and my closet door wouldn't stay closed. I'd close the door and as I walked away, I'd hear "click, eeeeeeeeeeeeek" as the door popped open and the hinges creeked. It was obviously (to an adult) the warped floor board, pushing the door open. I remember finding a way to "rig" the closet so it wouldn't open by putting a wire hanger on the floor and then closing it. That worked for a couple nights until my mom found the hanger and griped at me for leaving bent hanger on the floor where someone could step on it and get hurt. I never told her about my fear of the closet (not after her reaction to my concern about the monsters under the bed).
Some children are extremely anxious, and knowing that someone will listen to their fears without dismissing them or "freaking out" (like parents tend to do), can be very helpful. I don't think counseling should be crammed down their throat, because it can create fears where there were none, but I think counseling in the schools is very appropriate. Fear is not conducive to learning, and I believe schools are responsible for keeping the learning environment as fear-free as possible. I remember as a child that bullying was seen as so normal, that a bully could torture another child right in front of a teacher, and the teacher would do nothing about it (or give a bland "don't do that" and walk away). We know better now.
It's strange because I couldn't find anything in the news here in Calgary. Someone at my work figures I'm looking for attention when I mentioned it to them (so they told other coworkers) because they didn't see or hear anything about it. I can't find anything.
My...I am very sorry that you/your children had to go through this. What a selfish person to commit suicide on a school yard. Maybe he had difficult memories from school? It doesn't matter.
I am also sorry you received the reaction at work - what is wrong with people?!
I am a mother of four and a teacher and while I am no expert on children there are a few things I have learned along the way. One is that while yes, some children are extremly anxious most are very resiliant.
When I was in my first year teaching our principal died at her desk during school and they had counselors available. Let me tell you, these counselors know what they are doing. I was very impressed. When they say conselors are available if they students need to talk let me tell you what that means. That means that the school day goes on like normal, but during break times there are LOTS of counselors on the campus interacting with the kids. These counselors are not asking the kids, "So, how do you feel about the body that was found on the playground?" They are saying to them, "Wow! How did you learn to jump rope like that?!" And they let the kids do the rest of the talking. And the kids will talk. The counselors are trained to spot trouble areas (kids that need additional counseling) and NOONE is subjected to anything they are uncomfortable with. This will go on for a few days or so. Of course, teachers also can spot when kids need counseling and will contact the parents or the counselor (who will contact the parents).
Through the years (my oldest is a senior in hs) we had a teacher murdered (by her son ) and three or four students killed in different accidents. The schools always offer the same help. Yes, sometimes the help can create fears that were not there before but remember these are trained professionals.
As for your children...you didn't mention their ages but the harsh reality is that in a couple of years they wont remember what happened. When the teacher at my kids school was murdered my daughter was in 3rd grade (the teacher was a third grade teacher but she wasn't my daughters teacher). My daughter is now a sophmore in hs and barely remembers it...and, after the murder she acted differnet (of course) - she was very clingy to me and wanted to sleep on my bedroom floor...things like that. Remember that if your kids do things like this that is how they are responding to the tragedy...my unsolicited advice would be to let it ride. Listen to the kids, acknowledge the kids and things will soon be back to normal..
Best of luck to you and my prayers are with you and your children as you work through this.
It is awful to see dead bodies and no matter what counseling is given, that image keeps coming back.
I was 12 when we were coming from a vacation from Monterrey, Mexico and along the way here, there had been a shoot out between some military police and a family When we passed by, they had the bodies, all bloodied, next to the highway and I remember my dad stopping and telling the soldiers if there was another route because he didn't want to pass through there and have all his children view this they told him no and he had to drive next to the bodies we all saw them and up to now, several years later, when I see an accident or something similar, the image of the bodies comes up and I start shaking all over and I get panicky
They gave us counseling but up to now, those images still haunt me.
I hope this children are really helped and they dont' carry that with them My prayers for the families.
I can't say for sure, as there was nothing in the paper about it. I don't know if they are covering it up because it is a suicide (suicides are very rarely reported in papers, due to the worry that it could cause more people who have suicidal tendancies to act - this is from a police friend of the family).
I've heard of this, too, that they won't give media attention to a suicide for those reasons. I wish they'd do the same for school shootings.
I've heard of smudging being done on haunted houses (I watch too much tv) and from the shows I watch, it seems like the only thing that works. I'm sure it will help to give a playground feeling back to the playground. It can't hurt!
I'm guessing when a person is about to commit suicide, they're not thinking of anything else but getting the job done and getting rid of their pain.
I, too, remember seeing horrifying things as a child over 30 years ago that never go away. Seems that blood, bodies, body parts or remains from an accident are one of those things that you just don't forget.
All the negative things and positive things in your world make you the person you are.... it just makes life... life.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could protect our children forever?? I'm sure our folks wished for the same things for us when we were little.
Smudging is a practice that spans MANY religions-especially Native American, Pagan, and some Catholic, I believe.
It goes along with the practice that every herb has particular properties (like garlic helping with illness, lavendar helping with relaxation, etc.) and certain herbs with particular properties are burned creating an "incense". This can be done with ground herbs in a certain kind of container, or it can be done with a "smudge stick" where the herbs are bound into a stick about the size of a cigar.
Prayers are said while the air, area, or person is being cleansed.
It can be done to remove negative energies from a person or area, cleanse a person or area before a religious rite, and in other circumstances.
Suicide at Elementary school
Glad the children are okay.
