Hello, I was wondering if anybody else had this issue to resolve in the first few years of them being "fat"?
I was in denial. I always was wearing a size or two too small and I thought I could hide it, but in reality I probably didn't. I probably was all too often the fat girl trying to still think she's a XL when she's 1x...2x. And when I started realize 1x was getting too small I was in denial that I was 3x. But each time I got passed that and started buying clothes in my size I know I had to look a whole lot better and I felt a whole lot better in them. But I think not only was I in denial of my size, I think I thought "I don't want to buy new "bigger" clothes because I'm going to lose weight and then I'll fit in all my clothes I already have or I want to fit into that pretty XL top, but I'd probably have to lose Xlbs to do that!" And of course I never lost the weight. Now I know I'm a size 2-3x and I cannot really wear 1x unless it's a t-shirt I'm sleeping/working out in.
But now as I'm on a mission to lose, I look forward to fitting back into some of the clothes I've kept (packed away) and getting new ones. I just know now not to buy them before I can fit into them, because the dissapointment of not fitting into them is too much and too discouraging. Thankfully plus size clothing has gotten a whole lot more fashionable in the last 6-7 yrs that I've been plus size and I know I can look good when I get back to 2x-1x and back down.
My thing now is, wincing in pain, at seeing plus size girls that try and squeeze into clothes that do not fit them and are probably 2-3 sizes too small. It makes me upset at the standards in society that make it hard to accept that you are plus size. I know that when I was busting my XL pants and shirts at the seems how pitiful I looked and how I wished someone would have shook me and told me to get clothes that fit me and it would make me feel better about my appearance because they look better if they fit you. I would have had more confidence than the torture I put myself through not only physically with the pants digging in to me but also mentally, hoping no one would notice I was fat if I just kept on wearing my XL clothes.
Just a thought, I wondered if anyone else had this problem or perhaps is still dealing with? I definitely wish I was still a 1x but I know those clothes need to stay in the plastic bin until I am a 1x.
Being a naturally heavy kid with a model-figure mother, all I heard while growning up was how 'fat girls can't wear X' or 'you're too heavy for that' or 'we need to cover you up'.
Consequently, I'm at the other end of the spectrum - I've always tended to wear clothes a size bigger than I really was, because anything that indicated I had some kind of shape was unacceptable. The only thing that eventually stopped me from continuing that trend was getting to the far end of size 28 and having no sizes left to go in off-the-rack clothing! Now I'm a size 20 and I'm embracing the more fitted clothes. I don't wear anything that grabs around the stomach, but I have my waist back and I'm proud of that, so I do wear stuff that's cut to nip in a little at the waist.
I find my current situation to be a little amusing, in some ways, because I recall how embarrassed I was at a size 16 in my teens, and how I used to go to such efforts to hide under giant long-line shirts, etc...when really, I was just curvy at that point. Not model-slim, but certainly not what most people would consider fat.
Like you, I think I have a much better view on it all now. Many years removed from Living with Mom (and her fashion critiques) has given me back the ability to be objective and say 'I may be big, but it doesn't mean I have to live in a tent'.
It's interesting to read your story from the other perspective, where you under-sized clothing for many years. Hopefully we've now both settled into a happy mid-range attitude!
Last edited by AussieDaria; 02-27-2008 at 03:37 AM.
I know that when I was busting my XL pants and shirts at the seems how pitiful I looked and how I wished someone would have shook me and told me to get clothes that fit me and it would make me feel better about my appearance because they look better if they fit you. I would have had more confidence than the torture I put myself through not only physically with the pants digging in to me but also mentally, hoping no one would notice I was fat if I just kept on wearing my XL clothes.
Unfortunately, I think that no one I know would take kindly to someone, even someone who cares about them, saying "Hon, I love you, but what you're wearing doesn't flatter you...you're not an XL anymore." I've never had that problem (that I know of)--I've always done a fairly decent job of clothing myself in flattering clothes, regardless of my shape. I've been 210 pounds, and I've been the size I am now, and everywhere in between. One of my sister's good friends, who just recently had a child, does what you just described.
She used to be very trim and slowly gained weight after dating the current guy she's with. She wore the same clothes, completely in denial about her weight gain. Muffin top + Shirts that showed her now-bulging over the tops of her pants midriff... everyone she knew pitied her. But no one could bear to tell her that she had gained weight, or that she should cover up. Since she got a job at a bank, she's bought new clothes that look much better on her, but I've seen her in still-too-small casual-wear... I think that realization is something that each individual needs to come to on her own. I know think the girl I know would have been deeply hurt, offended and embarrassed if any of us had said anything like that to her.
I actually used to be the opposite- I used to only wear clothes that draped off of me. Oversized shirts, super baggy men's pants, giant hoodies 99% of the time... Everything had to be covered up. It was only until the past year and a half that I started buying clothes that were flattering on me. Nowadays I only wear skirts for bottoms (save for my baggy 'lazy' pants that I only wear around the house) and tops that show off my curves(the good curves) instead of hiding them.
Unfortunately, since I've been losing weight, I'll probably have to deal with very over sized clothes again eventually because we don't have the money to replace my wardrobe every time I drop a size.
I think, for, me, tight clothes were a combination of wishful thinking (I'd start dieting tomorrow), self-punishment (a tight waistband would keep me away from dessert- never worked) and being too cheap to buy the next size up.
I keep thinking of the Maya Angelou quote, "If I'd have known better, I'd have done better." Move forward!
Myself, I usually wore clothing that was the right size (I think.) Although, since losing the weight I've noticed I sometimes wear things baggier then I should. I wonder if I really know what size I am now. I think this is because I watched my sister lose weight and then buy clothing that was too tight still.
But, my question is, how do you go about saying anything to someone who does wear her clothes too tight? My BIL's girlfriend wears her clothing way too tight (and too low) and we've never been able to figure out how to politely say something. I think my MIL even took her shopping once to see if it was just a lack of funds.
I absolutely wore clothes way to small for me. I just couldn't allow myself to buy those 2X tops...That's what size my mom wore...I wasn't as big as HER. haha. I was so ashamed of myself.
At some point last year I realized how ridiculous I looked with my flab cascading over the top of my pants paired with a shirt almost tight enough to suck it back in...I started wearing clothes that FIT me and my self esteem went up...And ironically I started actively trying to lose weight because I felt like I looked good, but I wanted to be healthy and look better
Fat Girl in a little coat...
