Weight Loss Support - typing and crying




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Nightingale68
02-25-2008, 09:36 PM
Hey all, today is not a good day at all. I know in my head all the things I've been doing wrong, I know when I get that cupcake it is bad for me and I won't be able to eat just one, and then I eat it. My clothes don't fit, I've had to get bigger t-shirts that make me look like a man. I'm so dissapointed with myself I hate being so weak and being unable to stick to healthy foods and excercising. I feel so sad and can't stop crying and I don't want my daughter to see me like this. It's just horrible not being able to control myself regarding food. I eat bad stuff and then I look at my body in the mirror and all I can do is hate it. I'm sorry about this rambling, just don't have anyone to talk to. My dear hubbie does not understand how much it hurts me to be this big, he keeps telling me I've been bigger before as if that is supposed to comfort me, and I try to explain how important this is and he just keeps buying bread and cocoa for milk and pastries and all that stuff
sorry again


Determined in Texas
02-25-2008, 09:46 PM
Hey all, today is not a good day at all. I know in my head all the things I've been doing wrong, I know when I get that cupcake it is bad for me and I won't be able to eat just one, and then I eat it. My clothes don't fit, I've had to get bigger t-shirts that make me look like a man. I'm so dissapointed with myself I hate being so weak and being unable to stick to healthy foods and excercising. I feel so sad and can't stop crying and I don't want my daughter to see me like this. It's just horrible not being able to control myself regarding food. I eat bad stuff and then I look at my body in the mirror and all I can do is hate it. I'm sorry about this rambling, just don't have anyone to talk to. My dear hubbie does not understand how much it hurts me to be this big, he keeps telling me I've been bigger before as if that is supposed to comfort me, and I try to explain how important this is and he just keeps buying bread and cocoa for milk and pastries and all that stuff
sorry again

That is nothing to be sorry about. I had a really hard time at first too!!! I just think about how good I am gonna look in the end compared to how I look now. I heard a quote once. Nothing tastes as good as being skinny. Say that too your self when you stuggle and maybe you can make it.

shelby897
02-25-2008, 10:00 PM
To me, getting the hang of this "eating thing" is like an emotional rollercoaster. I guess, somehow, there was great comfort in overeating -- at the moment it felt great to give in, but in the long run, I was only hurting myself. But, I've also realized, it takes a lot of practice to replace the old habits, one little, tiny step at a time is all I can ask myself. I can't change overnight or the results won't last.

I know your husband is trying to comfort you (mine tries the same) but honestly, I don't think they can ever understand where we are at and that's okay.

Take a deep breath, start fresh -- and to me if I just can make it through one day on plan, I'm doing well. And frankly, to me "on plan" is just doing a little bit better than the day before and moving along from there.

Good luck and you can and will do this!!


Lovely
02-25-2008, 10:03 PM
:hug:

Have you thought about banishing those foods from the house? Not that family members cannot eat them, but that they are not allowed to have extras at the home? If this is a battle about your health, you have to realize that you are important enough to say that this what you need.

horsey
02-25-2008, 10:04 PM
First you have to change your mental way of thinking, decide today I am going to start a plan and stick with it. If you make a mistake, eat a cup cake, don't get all depressed, but get started again with your plan tomorrow. If you have a list of the foods that you eat when you are emotional, you can plan how to do "exchanges" as one diet author says, instead of cupcakes what could you grab that would be more nutritional? If you can cut the junk in your diet, have a plan on healthy snacks you'll be moving forward. It's depressing to be overweight, to realize it's a result of poor eating habits and inactivity, but only you can do something about this. YES you can change and be different, but it's going to take a commitment to stay on track, to eat healthy, to exercise daily... you can do it. YOU CAN.

InItForLife
02-25-2008, 10:07 PM
Nightengale,

I'm so sorry to read your post. I doubt there is one of us who hasn't felt exactly that way! Hey, we're all entitled to feel sorry for ourselves once in a while...but now the difference is getting past it and moving on! Every day --every hour -- is another opportunity to start all over again.

Here are some things to try:

Go food shopping all by yourself, as long as you need to, and when you're not hungry (I pick up an ice cold diet soda at the checkout to drink while I shop). Choose only really smart choices. Buy at least one new fruit or veggie.

Sit down with your hubby (or write him a letter if you're easily swayed) and then refuse to allow those temptations in the house again. If you were an alcoholic would be bring you liquor?

Tell yourself you'll exercise for 10 minutes. That's all. Then if you do it, you've accomplished something (if you say you'll do 45 minutes and you give up after 15 minutes, you'll feel like a failure). Increase a few minutes every week.

Join a program like Weight Watchers and commit to three weeks to start.

Every week, make one small change, like drink your water, eat breakfast, avoid white sugar and flour after 7pm, etc.

You can so do this!

Good luck --

friendlykat4u
02-25-2008, 10:17 PM
I know how you feel, a lot of us have felt like that more than once. :hug:

It's important that your husband understands you mean business. Writing a letter is a good idea. Just tell him this is important for you, for your health, and that also impacts your family.

Take it one step at the time, forgive yourself and move on. One thing that sometimes helps me is to visualize the most disgusting thing in food and that turns me off. Say you look at the cupcake, then think that your scooping into your mouth a blob of lard with sugar. Would you eat that? I wouldn't, that helps me sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't. But I just keep taking one small step in the right direction and eventually I'll get there.

Nightingale68
02-25-2008, 10:17 PM
thank you all
:cry:
it feels good to get support
:hug:

dgramie
02-25-2008, 10:31 PM
I have felt the same way lots of times.My hubby does whatever he thinks makes me happy. Today he went to the store and came home with me a sweet potato that is wrapped in plastic ready to be microwaved. IF i wasnt dieting he would have gotten me chex mix or a cake mix or a candybar or bag of chips.
He is learning that I am doing this for my health...and to look better and feel better about myself. My husband went to the basement with me for 3 week and counted while I lifted weights. Now he is joining me in lifting...it makes it so much easier.
I agree with setting small goal for yourself. I count calories and that works best for me . If I cheated and ate something I shouldnt then i would jsut work my calories around it. Also eat less for a few days to kinda even out calories.
YOu can do this...talk to your husband and family.
good luck
debi

InItForLife
02-25-2008, 10:32 PM
Here's my best advice:
As a 5-year maintainer, IT GETS EASIER.
Yes it is hard at first --mostly to break those terrible habits -- but once you get into new habits, they become your true lifestyle and you honestly hardly miss the old ones.

Buying run-of-the-mill candy everytime you check out at the supermarket, loading up your plate 2 and 3 times at the buffet, ordering -- and finishing the large bucket of popcorn at the movies -- those things were my life before. Now I NEVER do any of that stuff and I swear I don't miss it at all. And I don't live on lettuce and carrot sticks, either.
Trust me, believe me, listen to me. IT GETS EASIER.

chick_in_the_hat
02-25-2008, 10:42 PM
Abrazos, mija... :hug:

Have you got a specific plan beyond "stick to healthy foods and excercising"? If not, I'd suggest that you start there. I don't know if there is a Weight Watchers group where you are in Guatemala - but it might be an idea if there is. Otherwise - find a plan that you think you might like. It sounds to me like you need a little more structure - it might help with the temptation. (I think talking to DH about getting that stuff out of the house is a good idea, too. But if he doesn't and you know what you have planned to eat and pan dulce is not on the plan? It might be a little easier.

Justwant2Bhealthy
02-25-2008, 10:52 PM
When you go shopping, get yourself some small snack items that you can have instead of what your family is having ie small low-fat puddings like chocolate (90 C's) and lemon (60 C's), or small yogurts. Have a piece of fruit (your favorites) with yogurt for dessert or a snack.

If your husband brings home junk, can you designate a hard-to-get-to cupboard like the high small one above the fridge for all your family's stuff. It's out of your reach and way. Try to get your family to have healthier dinners and desserts too. Make them so tastey that they will like them as well. My DH eats whatever I make for dinner too; the only exception is when he has pancakes or something for breakfast; I pass on that and make myself something else instead.

Just start with small steps and maybe go for a walk each day; maybe your DH would go with you after dinner. He sounds like he cares, so I think you could ask him to help you; then explain to him how he can help.

Be patient with yourself; you will slip up now and then, but if you learn to forgive yourself now, you will be able to keep the weight off for the long term. New habits take practice; and this is good practice for maintenance down the road too.

Hang in there ... :hug:ROSEBUD:hug:

Heather
02-25-2008, 10:54 PM
I felt so desperate at my high weight. It felt impossible to start... much less make progress. I was overwhelmed.

I made a commitment, and I made small changes -- baby steps. I started just by bringing lunches and snacks to work and focusing on portion control.

Just start, okay? You CAN do this!!!!!!

SandiCO
02-25-2008, 11:17 PM
I wish I could give you magic words that would make it better. My hubby eats everything in site, and still has six pack abs. GRRRRRRR! I eat something salty and gain a lb.

Don't feel bad, sugar and caffeine are addictions. The only thing that works for me is to completely eliminate these from my diet ... moderation has never worked. One bite of a chocolate kiss and I want to eat the whole bag. But somehow, if I don't have that first bite ... I don't crave it.

Eat an orange or an apple. They are sweet and yummy!

ANGUILLADREAM
02-26-2008, 12:00 AM
Wow ladies, this was just what I needed tonight, sometimes I forget what a wonderful resource we have in this site. Nightengale, as the ladies have said before me, I know how you feel. I have those feelings every...single...day. I start every day NOT waking up in time to walk on the treadmill, three cups of coffee later (Ive at least learned to drink that without sugar) I'm lucky if I can get up from my desk to make my Kashi oatmeal by 11am. Lunch to follow can run the gamut anywhere from brown rice and veggies or small side salad... to a dollar menu run at McD, chinese food or Maryland's fried chicken...the rest of the day can take any number of rediculous turns from there. The see-saw is positively sickening. So this evening I decided to do a little experiment. This week I will not hold myself to plan nor diet. I will eat and exercise the way I know how...to the very best of my ability. I will not beat myself up or put myself down, just simply do the best I can for the week...as much as I can with no cop outs...true ownership of my own actions. I will see what the scale says next Monday, and I will see what my emotional state will be. Nightengale, I don't know you, but I know what youre going through and the only thing I can say is keep going. I always tell myself "You're never a loser until you quit" Wow Heather, I will have your picture in my head all day tomorrow...congratulations...

stayincalm
02-26-2008, 12:19 AM
Sweetie: I think you will feel better if you try to take one thing at a time and control it. The first thing is to tell DH to stop bringing stuff into the house because over the long term it is killing you. Then throw one thing away that is tempting you. Just one. Start with that. You WILL feel better and YOU WILL improve over the long term. I dont' know what kind of plan you are on but if it is free from maybe you need something more strictly structured so it gives you something to hang onto...tight. A very structured eating plan is freeing and empowering especially at the beginning. You follow the rules on whatever plan it is and tell yourself you can't deviate. You feel a measure of control even the first day.

My prayers are with you because I can feel your pain in the post. You have comfort and support from all here.

SC

strawwberry
02-26-2008, 11:06 AM
I wouldnt suggest you throw away everything that tempts you, because you'll probably end up emptying your pantry or the craving for such food will become so strong later on causing you to eat more of them. Maybe you can keep containers of carrots or celery shreds at reachable places, and chew on them when you feel like eating 'sinful' foods. Due to the high roughage content in these food, eating them makes you feel full, but doesnt make you fat because all of it will be passed out of your body. Alternatively, you can try to keep to a healthier diet, bt reward yourself with some of the nicer food once a week, or once in a while. I hope this helps. good luck.

shelbysmom
02-26-2008, 12:08 PM
I'm kinda in the same situation as you....my DH buys them new oreo cakesters,OMG they are so good,but I don't touch them because they are his breakfast food, that's about the only thing he buys for breakfast because it's fast and easy,anyway that stuff doesn't bother me,but when he buys like bridge mix or stuff like that, I usually curse him,he just laughs...but I have to say I've never really had a problem with sweet stuff, he likes the debbie cakes and I think I've gotten him off of those evil little things,not because of myself because I don't care for them,but because they're really bad for your cholesterol and triglycerides so I I think he's kinda given them up...we don't buy ice cream, we don't buy white bread anymore, I switched to whole grain pasta,well, the spaghetti anyway,we use that more than any pasta.... I'm trying to get him to switch to skim or fat free milk(he currently drinks 2%,which isn't real bad) I myself have switched to skim and it's not really that bad,but I still have to put an effort in losing the weight,where all he has to do really is make a few changes in his diet and the weight falls off of him...I had a bad day yesterday, but I'm pretty sure it was evil TOM talking and I do tend to get that way here lately, I don't know if it's because I'm older, after having a second child,because your body changes everytime you have another child, or if it's where I had my tubes tied and it's made my PMS worse,I sure know the cramping and flo are worse,I usually tell every body that DH had me fixed or spayed!!LOL!! but anyway I'm sure there with ya girlfriend,and I'm certainly feelin' ya on this..I was there yesterday, there today, and I'll probably be there tomorrow and atleast every other day anyway!!..

ANGUILLADREAM
02-27-2008, 12:18 AM
Trysh, mine definitely got worse after my tubes were tied. I had a good day yesterday, I have a great metabolism so when I try, I lose. So lost a pound, great right? Then this afternoon in the McD drive thru as I was getting a quick dinner for the kids before my second shift...the cashier hands me my order and the order for the person next to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't even realize until I was out of the parking lot...of course by then the chubby girl inside me just new it was waaay too late to take it back. And besides, they would just throw it away anyhow. That double cheeseburger ruined everything, but I at least gave the Big Mac to my son and only ate abut 5 of the extra large fries!!!! Im tempted to give up for the week, but its only Tuesday. I'll turn it around

JayEll
02-27-2008, 06:47 AM
Yeah, ANGUILLA, don't give up! Rome wasn't built in a day!

Next time, and I hope there never is one, take it back or throw it away. :( The last thing we need is to be eating someone else's food.

Also, maybe there are better ways to get a quick dinner for the kids? Drive-thrus are dangerous places. :o

Jay

ANGUILLADREAM
02-27-2008, 09:59 PM
Oh I known it better than anyone, I try to avoid the drive thru as much as possible...but I have an hour between shifts where I have to pick up two kids...at two different schools and If I dont cook a weeks worth of meals on Sunday...which is my only day off, Im flying by the seat of my pants all week when it comes to getting dinner for them. I have gotten them to love brown rice and veggies, and my daughter willingly will choose apple slices and oranges over fries. But that is one of my struggles...to be prepared so that I dont unnecessarily get caught in those traps

suesully
02-28-2008, 01:40 AM
Lots of great suggestions here. :) I was almost 300#s & my hubbie would just tell me he loves me no matter what size I am. He meant well & I do love him for that I guess but he was no help really in my dieting. Not that he was mean or insensitive, it's just that the poor man was clueless as to what to do.

What worked for me is that I need a structured diet plan that outlined what I had to eat & when. I bought only those foods & that's all. I had my own little cabinet with all my diet stuff AND I cleared out one for hubby's chips or whatever that I was not going to have. For me, it was where all the banished foods lived & I never went in there. I made healthy meals that we both ate only I would add some starchy thing to his. He lost weight too & what's even better, learned to eat healthier.

There are lots of diet plans here that you can check out & many more on the web. That will give you the tools to make a plan. Then the thing is to just start...one day at a time. As many have said, it gets easier once you get used to your new habits. And remember to use the online message boards for all the support you need...there are LOTS of us out here to listen & lend support.

Good luck on your weight loss journey...and please don't cry anymore. :hug: