Weight Loss Support - scared to be skinny. weird, i know!

02-24-2008, 03:47 PM
i've been thinking about this the last couple of days. not really sure how to describe it even. i'll try to keep it short though.

i've lost about 19lbs since i started in october (i've been on again off again with my diet/exercise since the holidays and i'm "on again" right now). i can see a difference when i look in the mirror and have had a few nice comments from people noticing my weight loss. my problem is that when i look in the mirror and see the difference, i still don't like what i see.

i always thought i had low self-esteem because i was fat. but what if i lose weight and still feel bad about myself and hate the way i look? i try really hard to see the beauty in myself despite my physical appearance. but i can't shake this feeling that i'll still hate my body once i reach my goal.

anyone else have feelings like this? any thoughts/ideas for dealing with it?

02-24-2008, 04:32 PM
I have been from 145 pounds to 260 pounds and I've realized one thing -- losing weight does not solve problems, make you a better person, make people love you, etc. -- my self esteem was low at 145 (and even lower at 260).

I am actually disappointed now that I look back at the five years I was thin -- I feel like I wasted that time not appreciating "me".

How you feel is not centered around your weight, it's inside of you and your "self talk" as to what you tell yourself.

Keep working on being more positive, seek out people who make you feel good about yourself and keep trying. We are all wonderful, unique people -- regardless of our size.

Good luck -- you are doing an awesome job!!

02-24-2008, 04:40 PM
Can losing weight make you feel better about yourself, yes - to a point. Will it change how others view / treat us? Probably to some degree.

Will it fix low self-esteem? No.

True beauty comes from within. It doesn't matter WHAT your weight is. Losing weight will not change who you are, it will only affect what you and others see. And, my experience is - people see you through the glasses which you - yourself use. Learn to love yourself now, with whatever gifts, graces, and physical attributes that God has given you.

Do this, and you will love the results when you reach your goal. Whether your hips are still too wide, your skin is a bit saggy, that tummy STILL isn't flat ...

02-24-2008, 05:04 PM

You may not like your body once you lose weight. It depends on what you think losing weight will do for you. Will it make you less likely to develop diabetes and heart disease? Statistically, yes. Will you be more able to get through life, such as, by climbing stairs at work, playing with children, taking part in outdoor games, even fitting in an airline seat? Yes. Will you feel better, health-wise? Yes.

Will it change your basic body shape? Probably not. You can change some things with exercise and weights--and look better. But it may still be the same body shape, just fit! But that's a good thing.

Will you look like J.Lo or Angelina Jolie? Nope, probably not, but I don't know what you look like now, so it's hard to say.

Will you be able to wear a bikini? I don't know. I was able to wear a two-piece suit once in my life, even though I was normal weight at the time. My body just isn't made that way.

Will you never have any problems again? :lol: :lol: :lol3:

Tell you what, get down to your goal weight and see how you feel. Don't worry about it now--just get there. You can do it.


02-24-2008, 05:31 PM
Low self-esteem doesn't just gear to your weight, although being heavy doesn't help. It has to do with likeing yourself for the type of person you are. Example: I used to be 138-145lbs, I looked great. I also had men gauking at me all the time, and caring more about how good my butt looked in my jeans then who I was and what I had to say. Now that I have experienced what it is like to be heavy, I have had more time to concentrate on me. Being heavy hurt my self-esteem, but it was already hurting before I got heavy, when I wore short skirts and belly shirts to show off my beautiful body to get attention that I thought would boost my esteem up. It didn't. Now that I am overweight, and losing it, and getting my figure back, it's not just the weight I am concentrating on. It's me. It's where I wanna be next year, what I want to do with my life to make me happier with who I am. Embrace who you are, embrace the gift you have (we all have a gift), use it to make you happy with yourself.

02-28-2008, 11:48 PM
I can't put my finger on why I'm afraid to lose the weight but I know somewhere deep down I am. Anytime I get on a roll...and people start to notice, I stop. And I've always done that...its weird. But finally I've decided that whatever deep seated fear I have has to be put aside for the one thing I want in this world more than for my two children to live a long, healthy life. I WANT THIS BAD!!!!!

02-29-2008, 08:47 AM
I'm personally afraid of failure, I think. Of what I see as *inevitable* regain. I've been down to about 115lbs before, I could do it again..and I felt under constant (concerned) criticism from my mother to gain weight, and be bigger. I'm a natural fatty so I did anyway, to where I am now at 139lbs, BUT I was angry, because I saw it as *giving into what my mother wanted*.

What a mature attitude.

But I'm moving out now away from home, so I won't feel so examined, and I think I'll feel freer to be thinner. A new era and all that.

02-29-2008, 01:21 PM
Now that I am overweight, and losing it, and getting my figure back, it's not just the weight I am concentrating on. It's me. It's where I wanna be next year, what I want to do with my life to make me happier with who I am. Embrace who you are, embrace the gift you have (we all have a gift), use it to make you happy with yourself.

:cp: :cp: :cp: :cp:

I am scared too... I have always been lacking in the self-esteem department... and that is a BIG part of my focus this time around... I am doing things that make me feel good: good about myself, good about who I am, good as in just plain fun to do.

In the past, I have been scared of getting below 200 (I had a mental block... like I couldn't possibly do it). I was scared about having to struggle with my weight my whole life. I was scared my boobs would sag (they prolly will!). I was scared I would have loose skin. I was scared that it would be too hard... that I wasn't strong enough.

I am tired of being scared... I am tired of putting myself down... I am tired of doubting myself.

For some reason - this time is different. I know I can do it. I know you can do it... We can all do this.

Serena C
02-29-2008, 01:28 PM
I haven't been able to pin down any reason why I might be scared to be skinny, but I admit I sometimes wonder if I've sabotaged myself for that very reason. If the fear is there, it's deeply subconscious. I'm still trying to figure out if that is part of my problem or not. Interesting question.

02-29-2008, 01:33 PM
I get that way too. I feel as though I am okay as long as I am still trying to loose but what will happen when I hit goal will it all come back - it's almost like as long as I am working toward the goal good but the thought of getting closer scares me a bit maybe thats why I set my goal a bit high so I can keep working toward a goal to be safe

Hat Trick
02-29-2008, 03:41 PM
Maybe it's just fear of the unknown.

Chinchilla Fairy
03-01-2008, 01:16 AM
These past couple of weeks I've been trying to come to terms with the fact that I KNOW how to be overweight, I've been this way most of my life. But, I don't feel that I KNOW how to live life as a fit, slim person.

Whenever I get down to goal, which I've done twice as an adult, I gain back and settle in right around 180 - 190, which is, in an odd subconscious way, where I am comfortable.

I am considering seeing a therapist to deal with the root of the cause, once and for all.