[harpo]

I am 37 years old and have had a food obsession since I was a kid. At my heaviest I was 25 pounds overweight and I have managed to loose that 25 punds at least 100 times! I have binged and used laxatives, I have been on Weight Watchers, I have done it all. Over the past few years I have learned that I can control my appetite better if I avoid high carb foods and eat more protein. I have also learned to love running and exercise and I am maintaining about a 20 pound weight loss. I no longer use laxatives and I have never purged. But I still do not eat normally. I have days that I binge and then I starve myself for a few days to get rid of "binge" weight. I go from feeling great and in control to hating myself after a binge. I can't understand nor accept that I can not eat one piece of cake, I eat the whole cake. Why can't I just eat normally and not be so focused on food? Anyway, thanks for listening. I am fighting the urge to binge today and I appreciate being allowed to vent here.