Support Groups - Group: I need to get motivated...i need someone to help me with this journey




mamac
02-23-2008, 04:45 PM
Hi there, so ive managed to regain 20lbs in a the last 6 months...and am very angry with myself...i binged for 6 months, saying to myself every single day..."tomorrow"..."tomorrow I start counting calories">...and tomorrow never comes...I lost 63lbs in about 9months going from 235 to 172...mainting the most part for about 3 months...BUT...went crazy and started eating anything and everything...now I really need to start this journey again...with the mindset that it never ends....i found counting worked best for me, because I allowed myself small treats within my daily calorie allowance...and bcs I know it works, now I want to get started again, only this time, Im going to start excercising too...which I never did in the first place...and I know it will help me to maintain my goal weight...Im sure I could go lower for a goal weight, but I want to get to that first before I change my goal...SIGH'...i just need to talk this out...vent, and get support from those who understand this daily journey... im a chatter...and need to chat it out... any advice...support is totally appreciated...


kari a go go
02-23-2008, 06:19 PM
:smug:Hi,
My name is Kari. I've been trying to lose weight myself so I know how you feel. I think that setting smaller goals are the way to go. I try to set 10% goals, meaning that I have the mindset that I only need to lose 10% of my weight. It doesn't seem as daunting as the BIG number. I'm all about chatting my way through this. My sisters are far away and oh by the way thin...so I'm here trying to fing someone in the same boat that I am.
Good Luck.
kari

Grace4Me2
02-23-2008, 06:23 PM
Whew! I can totally relate! I haven't lost as much wt. as you have but I have gained it all back & am so disgusted with myself! I can't climb the darn stairs without feeling it. My clothes feel tight & uncomfortable. So I get it! I made a decision to do Nutrisystem for 1 month to get myself going. I've done WW a few times & have not stuck with it. I'm an emotional eater - it makes me feel good to eat a whole bag of chips! I hate to exercise. I have fibromyalgia & it hurts. NO MORE excuses for us - we gotta get moving! I'm strating Monday - I'll be thinking of you - stay strong!


mamac
02-23-2008, 06:26 PM
thanks Kari...it looks like you have been successful, how did you get started...ie...what kind of excerice program did you do at first, and how did you manage your meals? Congrats on your progess...it is nice to see others working their way through this....sigh!....so yeah...i figured if im not starting today...i need to get some motivation and insights first...and then I know I can do this, especially if I have someone to report back to...you or any audience for that matter...its just nice to put it in writing...and going from there for me...its kinda like therapy...he he...i think im an emotional eater, and only have just realized it, because the last 6 monts have been crazy andthings still are not settled, so i figured...id vent my way through..and talk my way through the choices Im making daily...sigh'...

kari a go go
02-23-2008, 06:35 PM
Hi...I started out doing the Atkins thing, but found that was very hard to do being a single mom. So I began just trying to eat smaller portions and NOT finishing their meals. Drinking plenty of H2O was key and cutting way back on my soda addiction (6-8 a day yikes). My life was very stressful for a good long while and I find it very hard to lose weight as I too am an emotional eater, for a while there Ben and Jerry were my only friends.
As for exercise, all I did was an encumbrent bike... 30 min a day 3 days a week. I joined a gym last month, but sadly havn't gotten my but down there more than a few times. that is my goal for this week though. Get to the gym and get back on track.

mamac
02-23-2008, 06:42 PM
Hi Grace and Kari, nevermind my clothes are tight, when I lost all the weight, I vowed never to go over 180 again...and got rid of all my big clothes except for one pair of dress pants and a pair of khaki casuals...AND...they are even getting tight!!!! I dont have any other pants that fit and I REFUSE to buy any new clothes to fit....I too am starting on MOnday...thats the plan...I am volunteering at the Family Y...2xs a week and before I do my vol shift i will go try something out...cardio??? I think, I need to talk to someone about what to do....???>....and the other 2 days my 4 yr old goes to preschool at the Y and after I pick her up...i plan to go too!!!...I will def be thinking of you Monday..and hopefull here back from you to see how your day went!!! I cant stick to programs like WW, bcs I find it too abstract to count things that way...calories make more sense to me...i bought a scale at Sears and it weighs everything, ...calories, fibre, protien, fat..etc...etc....SO yeah...i plan on going to to the gym and going full force Monday morning...with...counting and excerices...im very inactive...aside from two little ones...so going from couch potatoe who eats anything...to eating healthy and excerices...is sure to be challenging...im getting emotionally ready for this...really ready...no more excuses is defenitley the thought I need to adopt...

mamac
02-23-2008, 06:44 PM
again..thank you guys for responding to my plight...I already, feel less alone in this journey...challenge...new way of living my day to day..

Grace4Me2
02-23-2008, 06:48 PM
I'm in! I am going to start with the treadmill - 30" to start. I just wrote out a menu for the week. I'll weigh in Monday morning & that will be my starting point. Being over the 200 mark is unacceptable!

mamac
02-23-2008, 06:48 PM
i was eating 6 times a day....three small meals and three snacks a day....along with lots of water too....Right now...Im not even drinking water daily?????...and I eat more like 3 times a day....big big meals....and when I do snack..its really bad snack food.... sigh....so in a way, im looking forward to eating lighter and healtheir, im kinda getting sick of the bad food....not only does it make me feel kinda bad physically and emotionally...it doesnt really taste all that good either...some days I just crave a good vegetable....but end up eating something starchy and heavy :( BUT....that was the past...and hopefully will remain the past....i have to start looking in to good cookbooks, I find when I eat healthier...i have to be more creative....

mamac
02-23-2008, 06:50 PM
okay...here we go!!!! I need to make a weekly menu too...my husband thinks its a great idea too....plus it helps us budget too....so yeah....i will talk with you again....and see how your monday has gone!!! :)

BlzMaxGnrCCJkMly
02-23-2008, 06:59 PM
welcome! i have experienced the same thing! just repeat to yourself! I CAN DO IT! I WILL DO IT! good luck!

kari a go go
02-23-2008, 11:29 PM
Ok girls, I'm in for starting back seriously on Monday, Back to the gym and counting those calories, have any of you tried calorieking.com? It's about 40 bucks but you just type in what you eat are going to eat and it counts everything for you. Keeps a daily log and charts your progress. I really like it.

ellis
02-24-2008, 09:38 AM
Welcome! :welcome3:
A number of our members use FitDay to count their calories:
http://www.fitday.com/
It's free. :)

Grace4Me2
02-24-2008, 04:14 PM
I am loading up on bread becauz I know I will miss it SO much! Not just any bread - good bread, fresh baked french, sheepherders, etc. Oh yes, & did I mention the butter that goes on the bread?!
Gearing up mentally today............grace

mamac
02-24-2008, 08:27 PM
I have a scale at home that I use to count my calories...when I did this before I weighed everything, including the butter on my toast...it was a bit painstaking, but accurate and made me feel good to be taking the effort and time into making counscious healthiful choices...SOOO...im at it again, as of tomorrow morning...OH and thank goodness most things have a calorie count on them too...that helps!

jamsk8r
02-24-2008, 10:05 PM
Mamac, Grace and Kari, :welcome3:

Good luck with the changes you all are making! If you are all calorie counting, you might enjoy the Calorie Counters' forum in Diet Central. You'll also find some great support in the Exercise forum (under Fitness on the main page).

Anyway, welcome, and good luck. You can do this! :carrot:

Cheryl

mamac
02-24-2008, 11:16 PM
thanks for redirecting me to the Calorie counters forum...im just getting my head around this site...and im a little slow...i do want to keep in touch with Grace and Kari for sure and anyone else who wants others in to reach our goals....calorie counting makes the most sense to me...and worked for me in the past...so going to do that again.... i have a blog that i will attempt to update daily on my daily progress...as it is a daily challenge....so yeah..thanks on the heads up regarding the calorie counters forum....i love this site so far!!! :)

srmb60
02-25-2008, 07:49 AM
Just remember that if there's anything we can help you with ... all you have to do is ask. This is a big place! We'll even help you find Grace and Kari if you lose track ;)

kari a go go
02-25-2008, 12:43 PM
Good morning all, weighing in, ugh. But before we get to the nitty gritty blubbery-ness, I think I posted this in a nother thread, but for calorie counters I really love Calorieking.com it counts, charts, graphs and keeps track of everything. I love it.
Ok so weighing in at
177.5, I really hate fluctuation don't you?
Goal for today is day 1 of the Fat Smash Diet and 20 minute walk/jog.
Lots o water, vitamins.
Good luck to everyone on there adventures.

mamac
02-25-2008, 05:43 PM
Hey...so Im 194.6...yeah...i only weigh myself once...and put the scale away until the next morning...I know..I know...you shouldnt way everyday...I do..it helps keep me on track...for the day...as its a daily challenge for me..maybe one day I will only do it once a week, but for now...i go back daily first thing in the morning...so yeah...today I want to walk for an hour on the treadmill, or outside...and I dont plan on doing that until i go to the gym around 430....and eat healthy...breakfast and lunch and snacks so far are in good standing...i know what we are eating for dinner, and dont forsee and problems for today so far...except after dinner snacking, but I know what Im going to have for a snack after dinner, I love the Source yougurts....with maybe some granola or fruit...depends what i have left for calories after dinner...I will write on my blog before bed...hope all is well with you girls!! Good luck for the day.... :)

Grace4Me2
02-26-2008, 01:40 AM
Hello Kari & Mamac,
I have begun! I made it thru Day One! I started the Nutrisystem (NS) food today. The pre-planning was key. My lunch buddy at work looked so sad when I told him I brought my lunch & would be doing so for awhile. I have to say I'm a little hungry right now (it's 9:30 pm in Calif) but I'm sipping water as I write. Guess what else I did! The TREADMILL - 30 mins. Woo hoo. I really am not fond of exercise & I have fibromyalgia which makes it a challenge but I did it!
So the scale news was pretty astonishing - 219 - my highest ever in my life weight. (sigh)
Hope you had a good Monday.
grace:carrot:

Grace4Me2
02-26-2008, 01:43 AM
Thank you Cheryl & Susan!:)

mamac
02-26-2008, 01:59 AM
Hi Grace and Kari...

thanks for keeping me posted. I looked forward to getting online tonight to tell you how my day has gone and to hear from you!!! Glad to hear we all had a good Monday!!! Looking forward to hearing from you girls tomorrow too....yeah!!! for us!!!! Oh, Grace you mentioned you are feeling hungry....well...I find drinking a glass of green tea about an hour or so...whenever you feel...helps with food cravings...for me atleast!! Try it...I totally believe in it!!! Good luck for tomorrow!!! Hope to hear back again! :)

Grace4Me2
02-27-2008, 03:09 AM
How was your Tuesday? I did pretty good today. There were temptations at a lunch meeting - big time. Chips, cookies, big sandwiches. I did not give in! I had a protein bar & salad & an apple. I so did not want to get on that Treadmill tonight but I did it. 30 minutes! Hope you all had a good day!
grace:dizzy:

ngressett
02-27-2008, 09:50 AM
OK...sign me up too! I'm new to the sight. I've realized I can't continue in this vicious emotional eating cycle any longer. I'm depressed because I've gained so much weight so I eat everything in sight to make me feel better then I get depressed that I've eaten everything in sight....and the cycle continues. I feel like I'm in a good place in my life now and it's time to take care of myself and just wake up everyday and feel good. My clothes are also too tight and I refuse to buy larger sizes (again) so the buck stops here! Let's do this! To get started I intend to ban and replace the sugar and fried foods with lean meats, vege's and fruits and start working out 5 days a week. It sounds so easy...why does it feel so overwhelming???

kari a go go
02-27-2008, 01:58 PM
Hello all, sorry I missed check in yesterday, two house showings and birthday errands to run...I started on the Fat smash Diet, and got through days 1 and 2 with out a lot of trouble. DF, kids and I had to eat out last night...and I managed to stick to my plan and skipped the margarittas!!! I ordered one and then thought better of it and gave it to DF. Not that I had to twist his arm. So far so good on day 3, I've worked out the past 2 days and am very sore, so going to take it easy today with just a short walk down by the lake. It's better than nothing. I hope everyone finds success on their plans...good luck
will check in thursday and then next wed. is my 10th day weigh in....no wammies, no wammies, no wammies....big lbs.

mamac
02-27-2008, 02:13 PM
Hi guys....
Yeah, so today is Wednesday...I did post how my day went yesterday, but I did it in my blog!sorry...i will keep this thread updated too...from now on... Yesterday went well...thank goodness...but I did feel hungry at night, thank goodness a small handful of granola helped me out...than I went to bed at 10....otherwise, i would have wanted to eat more...i slepted good! This morning is good so far! I just put the roast in the oven, got to do it this morning bcs Im out of the house by noon got a busy day including going to the gym to volunteer and go on the treadmill...so yeah...so far im enjoying cooking flavourful meals and trying out new stuff...last night we ate whole wheat spaghetti with tomato and basil that was simmered in garlic and onions...mmmm...it was super good, but i know i ate more than 2 servings of pasta....probably closer to 4??? I didnt count the picking of my childrens food and while cleaning up... im sure it was a full serving...i think thats why i was hungry afterwards...i find if i eat too many sugary type foods, not long after i get hungry again...i think its what the food does to my sugar levels??? oh well I survived, not so bad...i will write an update tonight before i head to bed and i just realized after im done eating for the day... :) thats when i get on the computer...its like closure for the day.. :)

mamac
02-27-2008, 02:17 PM
OH, by the way welcome ngress???....hope we can help you too on your weightloss journey...we are all doing something a little different, I think...Grace is doing Nutri System, Grace is doing the Diet Smash??? not really sure what that program entails...and me Im counting my calories....using a scale....Im pretty certain...it just means we are all trying to enjoy food in moderation.... ;) hope your day is going good...and feel free to chit chat with us anytime... look forward to hearing back!

kari a go go
02-27-2008, 11:55 PM
hi everyone....I did ok today, feeling hungry tonight though I don't think I ate enough. Maybe will sanck on some veggies later. mmm or my bean salad yep that's it. I am on the Fat smash diet...it's pretty strict, but I have hardly anytime at all to lose thirty lbs so I need to be strict with myslef. I turned down a margarita last night and my five year olds birthday cake tonight though so that makes me feel strong. I'm on to day 4 of my 9 day phase. I hope this works.

Grace4Me2
02-28-2008, 12:48 AM
Hi ladies!
It's so good to hear from you all. Wow skipping the margaritas! Good girl! About that pasta Mamac...! You should see the TINY servings in the microwave meals. Today was tough becuz I had meetings & stuff all day then a horrid drive home in traffic. I was starved by the time I got home. The Nutrisystem food isn't bad but you do need veggies & fruit & dairy. So I missed my afternoon snack. I'll have to plan better. I need a portable fridge!
I have not gone on the treadmill yet but I'm headed that way. I'll watch Supernanny & feel sorry for the parents of those horrid children! :) That should take my mind of the pain!
OK stay strong everyone.
By the way, when are you all weighing?
Hugs,
grace

mamac
02-28-2008, 02:22 AM
Hi guys!!

Today went pretty good for myself...i didnt have any hunger cravings today like yesterday, but I think thats because I ate fruit for my snacks...an apple and an orange between meals...I remember now how an apple would save me from eating something unhealthy between meals. It actually felt good to eat the apple. I didnt make it to the treadmill tonight, but did make it to the gym...funny thing, because I volunteer there...they needed extra help so I couldnt say no...and ended up staying longer and by the time I was ready to go...i really didnt want to stay at the gym any longer...tomorrow!!! I think tomorrow because the weather has been so nice, im going to take my kids for a nice long walk outside...I think its just as good as the treadmill...if not better as Im pushing 70lbs of weight and the jogger...so I think i will do that, the kids love it! I ate a good dinner, roast beef, carrots and small pototoes....i was super careful with my potatoes, plus only had 430 calories left in the day to hit the 1200 mark today...so i was careful...i tend to go anywhere from 12 - 1500 calories in a day...depending on the day...but I dont go below 12 or over 16....i do have days where i go over 15 but than the next day i keep it hovering closer to 12...tomorrow we are making veggie chili...first time i will be making, lets see how good it will be...im really glad to have you girls to touch base with...it helps me keep focused and motivates me to finish the day...as best i can!!! Glad to hear you guys are doing well too....yeah for us!!!! 3 days isnt soo bad...we are doing well i think!! :)

kari a go go
02-28-2008, 08:33 PM
hi everyone, day 4 of phase 1 FS diet and doing ok. Im down with a kidney infection though, so seriously craving comfort foods....and feeling lousy. I hope that the meds I'm on don't slow down my metabolism. Hope everyone had a good day...oh and I'm weighing in next wednesday...that will be nine days on the diet...one of the girls on this diet lost 14 lbs in under a month. I really hope that I have similar results.

mamac
02-29-2008, 01:53 AM
Today went by good, except I did not go for a walk or go to the gym!!! : ( BUt, i atleast kept my calorie count in check and managed 1200, even after eating veggie chili for dinner! Im content with that! Im glad to here we are all keeping on track!! Tomorrow its salmon for dinner...yummm....the veggie chili was ok...but kinda bland...Tomorrow...i want to go for a walk with the kids!! atleast! WIsh me luck...

Grace4Me2
02-29-2008, 02:10 AM
Thurs 9 pm
You guys rock!
I hope I can catch up to you on weight loss!:cool:
Today was a busy day at work & did not get my snack in & my dinner was late. I came close to eating something off plan but ultimately resisted! Had a Diet Coke instead. I also got home too late to do the treadmill so I am off on Fridays & will get up & do it in the morning.
What do you think of calling our little group Motivated Mamas?
OK, good night & good luck tomorrow.
grace
219/219/150

mamac
03-01-2008, 01:17 AM
The day has gone by well, stayed within my calorie range, but since Ive done so well this past 5 days, and I feel so darn good...im going through the whole.."i deserve a treat" phase... im bad with that...i know I dont need to treat myself with food...but its the fastest and easiest way to please myself...SO...instead of food...my treat for tonight...will be my pat on my back for 5 days of good health!!!!! Thank goodness writing this all down also helps me feel like Im doing well...somehow seeing it written down...helps!!! SO, thanks to you ladies for the daily support and not feeling alone in this! We did it!!! The weekends can also be a bit wonky....so heres to hoping we all stick to our plans and dont treat ourselves tooo much...if at all!! I know...im not going too...although...my daughters 4th birthday is on Sunday!! I wonder how Im going to do there...guess I gotta bake a cake I absolutley dont like....and make sure theres a veggie platter at hand....so...hope you guys are doing good this fine friday evening....

mamac
03-01-2008, 01:32 AM
GRRRR!!! Im pretty certain I deleted my blog!!! What the?????? I was searching, so I thought, for Kari go go's blog....and somehow it created one for me??? WHAT??? I dont even know what happened...all I know is I cannot find my blog now.... :( : (...that makes me very sad....and angry

mamac
03-01-2008, 01:35 AM
so im a spaz!!! its there....I have no clue what just happened...but all I know is...its there now.... im again, back to myself... he he...sorry for the spaz!!!

Grace4Me2
03-02-2008, 01:38 AM
Hi ladies,
Sorry I didn't get here Friday. It was a busy day - dentist, son to therapy, pick up daughter, then pack for a 5 hr drive to our mountain house. By the time we settled in I was off to bed. OK the travel in the car was tough - I'm used to snacking during the drive. I was thinking of all the crap I would normally eat - why, was I hungry? Not necessarily - bored maybe. I had some rice cakes & that saved me. So Friday was weird becuz you need a microwave to do the NS meal. So we stopped at a restaurant & I ordered a piece of halibut with steamed veggies. So I thin I stayed within calories. I did NOT even LOOK in the bread basket. Normally I would have eaten a couple with butter. Today was tuff becuz I had a pretty bad headache all day. So I did not exercise but I did stay with the diet except for some extra rice cakes in the afternoon.
Kari, how is your infection? Mamac - don't obsess about that bday cake. Have one bite so you don't feel deprived. I do the same thing with the treat thoughts - it's suicide - don't give in. TREAT yourself to being thinner & healthier!
hugs, grace

mamac
03-02-2008, 04:03 AM
im trying to figure out how to get the weight ticker thingy...??? hope i can figure this out...

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar-day/slide-jump/lb/235/165/194/.png (http://www.3fatchicks.com/)

mamac
03-02-2008, 04:06 AM
im just seeing if the ticker thing is attached??

mamac
03-02-2008, 04:07 AM
how do we get the ticker to attach??? for good..

mamac
03-02-2008, 04:14 AM
if the little ticker doesnt work this time...im going to need some direction...im tired...and im off to bed...will update tomorrow.. day went well!!! :)

Grace4Me2
03-04-2008, 02:25 AM
Today was my 1 week weigh in - I did it! I LOST! 7 lbs in 7 days. I am so psyched!
:dizzy:

Gemmam
03-04-2008, 02:59 AM
I am new here and really appreciate reading that other people have had or are having similar experiences to me. However, the one time in my life that I managed to lose a significant amount of weight I was happy! That is the difference between then and now. I have asked myself what made me so happy. The major difference was that my husband was home on parental leave with our baby which gave me a ton of freedom - I really only had to look after myself and enjoy my daughter for a couple of hours after work before she went to bed. At the point when my husband returned to work last January my commitment to WW ended (I had lost 55 lbs in 5 months) and I started eatling and haven't stopped! I have gained all the weight back and then some. And I am not happy. I feel a bit trapped in my life and I have to find a way to let go of that and accept where I am. I did not marry until I was 36 yrs old and did not have a child until 38 and now I am 40 and stuck in this new life. Every time I think about trying to lose weight I eat more. I don't even know where to go with this. I have been researching OA and have bought a couple of books to read but am not feeling very hopeful. Maybe having a connection like this site will help...I hope.

ellis
03-04-2008, 08:52 AM
Mamac, go to "User CP" on the left of the purple bar at the top.
Then, on the left hand side, click on "Edit Signature". All the instructions are there for adding a tracker.
Let us know if you need more help! :hug:

Gemmam, welcome to the site! :welcome3:
My parents were the same. :yes: Married at 36, had their first child (me) at 40, and my sister at 42.
It is possible to do this! :hug: My mom is now 83, and while she's always struggled with 10 or 20 pounds, she is in great shape, and still goes to the gym three or four times a week. :) (in fact, she's currently in better shape than I am... curses! :lol: )

mamac
03-04-2008, 11:33 PM
Hi Gemma...dont worry your definetley not alone in your ups and downs...we all have experienced it...so I think youve come to a great site! I would suggest for starters....trying the weekly menu plan...choose what you want to eat for a week...flip through some healthy recipe sites online...or go through some cookbooks....figure out what you think you would like to try for 1 week....buy the appropriate food for it...and give it a try...it totally works for me...i mean, when you are really ready...you will do it....its very psychological...its like our mind is having a fight with ourselves...and ofcourse...our appetite too!! I swear by the meal planning, and I count calories, but you know...calorie counting isnt for everyone...I think just meal planning can help out lots too!! I too remember how I felt at 170.....and well...I know we can get back to where we were....we just need support and some place to get ideas, vent and chit chat!! Good luck and welcome!!

mamac
03-07-2008, 04:12 PM
Hi girls!! Where is everyone!! IM doing very well...thank goodness..I weighed in on MOnday...one week after starting and I LOST 5lbs! I expect a lot less for next Monday...but thats ok!!! I hope everything is going well for you girls! Im still on my meal plan and walking the treadmill, I still do want to run, but am emberassed to try...maybe one day!! Im going to go to a Yoga class on Monday and Wednesday a fusion class...works the core!! We will see how that goes....i met someone who does both and we get along great...so Im going to go with her! HOw is everyone! I hope everyone is doing well!!! Im down to 189...yeah!!! I hope I lose one or two lbs this week!! We will see!

bethz
03-09-2008, 08:51 PM
Way to go, girl, on the weight loss!:carrot: You must be so excited! :D Bethz

mamac
03-11-2008, 02:01 AM
Hi Bethz!!
Thanks for the encouragment...tonight I had my first Yoga class ever!! I loved it!!! I cant wait to go again, but next week its not on...but I will do something else...tomorrow Im going to try Cyclefit too...and Wednesday I want to do a Fusion class...(I need these classes and concrete goals to follow through...i find just walking on a treadmill isnt doing it for me) tomorrow before Cylce fit...im going to do start the Couch to 5K tomorrow...because its only 20minutes to start for the first week, i figure I can manage the Cycle fit in aftewards...YES...i will be sorry...but I think its worth it in the end...right??? This week I have only lost 1lb and a half...I know its considered good...but I think Im going to up my cardio with Yoga, Fusion, Cycle fit and starting to run...I know...it sounds like lots..but really...its just going to the gym 4Xs a week..MOnday to Thursday...just different classes...which I need, otherwise I get bored... SO....lets see how this week goes, and what the weigh in looks like next week!!!! I hope to lose 2 lbs this week!!! Lets see what happens with this experiement.... :)