Weight Loss Support - When did others notice?




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HiHoHiHo
02-14-2008, 09:43 AM
Ok, my DH didn't really say anything as I gained weight (which was good) but now he hasn't said anything as I've lost it (which is bad! I think). I haven't told anyone I'm dieting because I didn't want a constant scrutiny + evaluation of everything I'm eating around other people. Granted, it's only been 10 lbs, but my clothes fit so much better, and I can again wear some things I had to put away because they used to be too tight. I guess I was hoping he - or anyone else - would notice and say something.

At what weight drop did others start to say, Hey you look like you've lost weight?


srmb60
02-14-2008, 09:49 AM
Don't think less of your husband. I had to tell mine. "Feel this hip bone. That's what ten pounds lost feels like."

When I started to need smaller clothing is when folks seemed to notice. It's was as if they needed a flag to make them notice that something was different. 10 or 15 lbs maybe.

jillybean720
02-14-2008, 09:52 AM
Also keep in mind that it's sometimes hard to notice differences when you see someone every day. Also, boys are a little slow, and they are also often quite oblivious ;)


souvenirdarling
02-14-2008, 10:19 AM
I was eating something once and my father said "So that's why you're getting a little bit chubby." Naturally, it irked me at the time. My mother spoke to him about it, but also told me that my father doesn't use the term "chubby" with negative connotation. Essentially, if he would really have thought I was too much, he would have said nothing at all and had my mother ask about my health :) Good ol' Dad.

I think that when you see someone every day, it's easy not to notice those things. HiHo, maybe you can feel secure that your husband loves you just the way you are? :) My bf isn't especially supportive of my losing weight as he is my getting more physically active, so we can do more things together.

lorilove
02-14-2008, 10:21 AM
I have lost significant weight on more than one occasion and each time it was about 25-30 lbs before most people could not help but notice.

We had a similar thread in on anothe web site and I was surprised at how many people said they would still not say something in fear of intruding on them personally.

I have also heard at times where husbands may not say something because they got slapped enough for saying something when you gained they have learned to avoid the subject regardless if it is a weight loss and not gain.

Lori

KforKitty
02-14-2008, 10:21 AM
It often surprises me how unobservant some people can be. Some people who see me at work everyday noticed my loss at 20ish pounds. In the last week I've had two people notice with surprise that I've lost but not until I'd lost 70lb! I think its incredible that they have not noticed until now. My DH was somewhere in the middle - I lost around 40lb before he commented.

Kitty

polkadotfever
02-14-2008, 10:22 AM
i agree about the seeing someone every day part. but i also think one day he'll see you in a new outfit and it will click and he'll say something about it. over the summer i lost some weight and it was about 15 pounds before people started to notice. probably depends on your frame too and where you lose from first. not to worry...soon more people will notice. :)

Catmint
02-14-2008, 10:23 AM
Husbands will notice, especially if you let him know how important this is to you. Mothers also notice. :)

But as far as everyone else, good luck. I am down 40 pounds, which is pretty significant, and 2 people (besides my husband and my Mom) have said anything: one was a cashier at a pet store that I haven't been to in months, and the other was my husband's ex-wife.

I'm on the board of our homeowner's association and we haven't had a meeting in months until this past Monday, and nobody said a word. 40 pounds!

But who cares.... as long as you know and you feel better about yourself, that's all that matters. Good luck and congrats on the weight loss so far!

cbuggin22
02-14-2008, 10:42 AM
My husband has been very supported of my weight loss, but doesn't really say anything about how I look. He's just my support. If you notice, that is all that matters anyway.

For me people started to notice when my pants were getting baggy in the legs after I lost about 10 pounds. Then they really noticed at work when I was passing up the sweets that are constantly in our breakroom. When you go to lunch at the same time as 40 other people it is kinda hard to keep a "diet" a secret.

KendraLynn
02-14-2008, 10:48 AM
At one point I was down to goal weight and had lost 92 lbs. I live in Oregon and my mom, dad, and sisters live in CA, so they had to notice. But no one ever said anything! Has anyone had this sort of thing happen to them? We talked about healthy food and exercise, but no one ever said to me "How much weight have you lost?" or "We're proud of you" or "It's amazing how much weight you've lost." Now I've regained and no one has said word one to me still!

The thing that bothers me is that of course they talk about it when I'm not there. My family loves to gossip like that. I just wish that my family didn't make me feel like it's not ok to be open and have an attitude like "yes, I've lost a lot of weight. It was hard work and I'm proud of myself." I think that since it's something we've never talked openly about in my family, that's why I can't take a compliment from anyone else.

Thoughts?

JayEll
02-14-2008, 11:08 AM
People didn't start to notice until I had lost 15-20 pounds. My basic shape remained unchanged.

Jay

scrappinRN
02-14-2008, 12:07 PM
My hubby notices all weight losses I have but I'm not sure if he says it to make me feel better or what, but I'm glad he thinks I'm beautiful!:o But I guess more important is that we love ourselves which is hard sometimes. I guess my advice is look to yourself for reassurance not others.:soap:.

pamatga
02-14-2008, 12:08 PM
I think sometimes people will smile more broadly rather than say something. I mean not everyone is comfortable giving a compliment either. Some people may want to say something but they may not know how to. Have you considered that?

On the other hand, I hope that you aren't waiting around for others to notice as one of your incentives to lose the weight. I'm not saying that it isn't nice but if you never get a compliment would you stop trying to do something this good for yourself?

I have read that if you aren't losing it for yourself you increase the chances of regaining that weight. I am sorry to hear that your family didn't notice but maybe there is still some part of you that you feel unaccepted by them and you feel that if you lose weight they will love and accept you more. I doubt that. Our families love us as we are. We just usually don't give them enough credit for that. The same with close friends. My DH loves me already. He has said if this will make me happy then he will support me in it but he doesn't wag a finger at me if I have a dessert or order pizza.

After all, people come and go in our lives and if we hung all of our needs for stroking on every one that came along we would be very insecure and less confident than if we do it for ourselves alone.

I would suggest that you try to build your confidence based on how you feel you are doing. After all, other people's opinions are just that---their opinions.

I noticed I was losing weight when my pants started to droop (my pot belly wasn't holding them up) and I almost tripped over my pants legs. I have also taken pictures of my weight lose journey so I can see for myself what I look like. (see my photo blog on this website "....pixstosee). Maybe, doing something like this will help you realize that "Hey, I am doing this..." and help boost your sagging ego.

Don't worry you're doing great! We are proud of you!:hug:;)

HiHoHiHo
02-14-2008, 12:35 PM
Maybe it's also all these layers of clothing we have to wear in the winter. It's harder to see a body outline when there are sweaters and coats and boots.

I alternate between feeling good about the weight I've lost and then thinking (sigh) I still have a ways to go! Onward!!

suitejudyblueeyes
02-14-2008, 12:48 PM
I still have 2.5lbs to go before I hit the 10lb mark... but I've already had to stop wearing a pair of pants and can wear a couple of things that had been too small before. Guess the weight's coming off in the right places :)

DH is very involved in this process with me... He knows what I'm doing, I tell him the results of my WIs every week, we talk about healthy choices over dinner, we jog together. So even if he doesn't say he notices the weight, he is encouraging and supportive generally about the process and I think that's most important. I was drawing attention to my neck/shoulder area one day (the fact that I can start to see my collar bones thrills me to no end) and he looked at me and said--Now I can REALLY tell you're losing weight! So.... it took a couple of bones sticking out for him to notice. :lol:

But I generally agree with the others -- make sure you're doing this for YOU, and not for what your husband and others think. If they start to notice, that's fantastic, but if they don't, well, that's no reflection of your success or lack thereof. People are just usually very focused on themselves and it might not occur to them til much later. YOU notice, YOU get to buy smaller clothes, YOU feel more energetic and healthy, and that's ultimately what's most important. YOU.

foucault
02-14-2008, 01:03 PM
It was after about 20 pounds for me. The boyfriend didn't notice because boys are slow like that. But a couple people I work with mentioned it to me.

Lovely
02-14-2008, 01:03 PM
75 lbs! :lol: And just yesterday!!!!

This is the first "not from my mother" comment. My good friend's mother said she has definitely noticed that I've lost some weight.

Rhighlan86
02-14-2008, 04:33 PM
I agree with the idea that when you see someone every day you don't really notice the changes, maybe find a before picture and say look, isn't this great. Boys sometimes need it spelled out ;)

PhotoChick
02-14-2008, 04:53 PM
I think also part of not being noticed is .. us.

When I first started losing, I still wore the same (baggy, oversized) clothing. I still slumped in my seat. I still walked as though I were *fat* (which I was, still, but you know what I mean).

And even though I'd lost 20 lbs or whatever, when I came into work or went out with friends, I still had on my big jeans, my chunky sweater, etc. It wasn't until my cheekbones popped and until I started buying new clothing that wasn't a big baggy sack and that showed off that I had a waist (whee) that people started noticing.

Seriously, I wore my size 22 slacks until I was fitting into a 16. And truth is, I probably didn't need a 22, but I wouldn't ever have worn anything form fitting, so I always bought a size up to "hide" my fat. So when I slimmed down to an 18 or 20, my clothing didn't indicate any change. And while people may have noticed that my pants were baggy, it's hard to tell if someone has lost 20 lbs or even 40 lbs when they're still in the same, oversized, fat-hiding clothing. :)

.

trekkiegirl
02-14-2008, 07:31 PM
I got my first notice at minus 10 pounds. The only person who knew I was trying to lose at that time was my mother. For the last year or so, I've gotten a lot of "you've lost so much weight" comments, which I can't really see myself. I mean, I have other people, my scale, and my clothes as proof but myself, sometimes I see a little difference, sometimes none at all. Funny thing is, I think "both sides" (theirs and mine) are right. I have those things I mentioned as proof that they are right but I also have the fact that I'm wearing clothes that are more form flattering and that alters their perceptions...I mean, they kept telling me I was losing more weight when I've been plateauing for months.:p So, our own perceptions aren't the only ones that can be deceiving. I do look bigger/smaller depending on what kind of sweater I wear on any given day. :dizzy: It's funny, sometimes you tell yourself you're hiding your weight under baggier clothes but you may end up actually creating the opposite effect and making yourself look bigger.

BattleAx
02-14-2008, 08:42 PM
For me it was 55-60 lbs. lost. I was very impatient for others to notice. It wasn't the motivator for my loss, but it was one of the side benefits I was happily anticipating.

redlight
02-14-2008, 08:43 PM
I was eating something once and my father said "So that's why you're getting a little bit chubby." Naturally, it irked me at the time. My mother spoke to him about it, but also told me that my father doesn't use the term "chubby" with negative connotation. Essentially, if he would really have thought I was too much, he would have said nothing at all and had my mother ask about my health :) Good ol' Dad.



Ouch. How old were you at the time?

Janny O
02-15-2008, 03:22 PM
For me it was 50lbs. But, I think it was my fault cuz my clothes were too baggy. I agree with BattleAx-you can't WAIT for people to compliment or notice your achievements.

souvenirdarling
02-15-2008, 04:51 PM
Ouch. How old were you at the time?

I was about 17 or 18. He's lucky I'm grounded and didn't develop an eating disorder ;)

weightwatchergirl
02-16-2008, 01:48 PM
I am not sure what DH means! Husband? Well my BF sees my everyday so it is hard to notice a change but what I do is tell him about my WI - I have only had 2 so far and then I find something in the house that weighs the amount I lost - so he - and I - can see how much it really is! It helps a lot and he gets so proud of me - it makes me want to keep going --- If I didn't have him cheering me on I don't know if I could do this...