100 lb. Club - Do you ever feel Petty???




View Full Version : Do you ever feel Petty???


remydey
02-11-2008, 07:15 AM
When i told my sister i was working on losing weight, she literally laughed at me.. we were on the phone ( she lives in the states) and she couldnt talk for like 3 mins cause she was laughing so hard..probably because i have been big for years and years. When i told a 'friend' of mine ( again in the states) that i was working on it she just said....'dont be too dissapointed when you cant do it'... i just dont get people sometimes.. even if i think someone will fail at what they are trying to attain, i offer encouragement because i really am rooting for them. I want to lose weight for my health, but now there is another reason.. i wanna shove my before /after pics (when i have em lol) in their faces lol.. i feel sooo petty about it... has anything like this ever happened to any of you?? are my feelings normal, or am i being catty?? one way to look at it i reckon is whatever keeps me motivated works lol


gggirls
02-11-2008, 07:46 AM
I understand completely - I think most of us do. This time I didn't tell anyone because I couldn't deal with the negative attitude. They have started seeing that I am serious about it now that I am 6 months in to it. It will be great when they can see the results on the scale.

Stay with it - you are strong - don't let them get you down.

Hugs,
Carol

GirlyGirlSebas
02-11-2008, 08:34 AM
Remy, how sad that your sister and your "friend" can not provide you with the support and encouragement that you deserve. They should be ashamed of themselves.:( There is nothing at all wrong with wanting to prove something to them as long as your number one priority is just to do this for yourself.

Please keep coming here. Your 100lb sisters will be happy to provide you with all of the support and encouragement you want! You can do this and I look forward to sharing your progress.


Trazey34
02-11-2008, 08:45 AM
heheh I thought this thread was "do you feel PRETTY" LOL glad I read it !!!

yes, I feel petty sometimes, like I really just want to say "nah nah nahanhahha" to people who think i can't do it!!

For instance, my always skinny sister out West, on hearing that I've lost almost 60 lbs., sends me a box of GODIVA chocolates for Valentine's -- she has NEVER DONE THIS EVER!!!!! coincidence????!?

pigginpodgey
02-11-2008, 09:10 AM
Just remember your doing this for yourself, your health - and you know what totally swing this around to your benefit.Nothing wrong with a competitive "I'll show them" attitude! I know you will completley knock their socks off when they next see you!!
I know where you are coming from, people have seen me up and down so much over the years, and I do have so called friends who would rather I stayed this weght, but Im doing this for me not them, and I do like to see their faces drop when they see me!!

mezmerize
02-11-2008, 09:13 AM
I put this on a workout cd it made. It's called Fighter by Christina Aguilera. It really pumps me when I think of rude people. I have a few mudd pies with names of some rude people.
I do think that there are people who seriously worry you'll get hurt if in their eyes you "fail". I honestly don't think I've failed.
I've been working to get healthy for 3 1/2 years. Each time I've hit a block and stumbled I LEARNED from it! It's not easy breaking bad habits but it is possible! You will do it and most do stumble but we pick ourselfs up and learn and keep going.

Schmoodle
02-11-2008, 09:22 AM
I don't think you are the petty one here. It's very sad that you are not getting support from these people. You know they're wrong, don't you? Think of what fun it will be to hear their reactions when you prove them wrong!

AnnCan1111
02-11-2008, 09:22 AM
Mez, that was well put. I feel this is a journey for me. I will not lose all my weight over night, but I will do it. I find that people often give me food as presents, they never gave me food before. Very strange.

fiberlover
02-11-2008, 10:18 AM
I don't know if I would bother spending the money to call the states and talk to her anymore, just send letters or email. Sibling relationships can be really weird at times.

suzie76
02-11-2008, 10:29 AM
I am so sorry that your sister and supposed "friend" treated you this way! How horrible! We will all support you here.

Sending hugs,
Sherry

dgramie
02-11-2008, 10:56 AM
I dont think you were being petty. I think they are RUDE and CRUDE!! I have been in your shoes and still am. Its got to be all about you !! Im losing weight for me this time...not for my family..but for ME!!
You can do this I have faith in you..we can all do this together !!

Supersub
02-11-2008, 11:11 AM
This was exactly why I didn't tell ANYONE when I decided to lose. I didn't want people asking "so how much did you lose this week?" I figured that after a while they were bound to notice. It's not like I just have a few to lose. I've lost 55 pounds now and I think I can count on one hand the number of people that have noticed and said something. Even my own husband hasn't said anything. I don't know if it's because he hasn't noticed or is just keeping his head down afraid to say anything.

My sister is one of those stick girls too. She bought herself some new boobs and lays around all summer in her bikini. Is it petty of me to get a secret giggle out of the fact that she's got wrinkles and I, the older sister, do not? When I saw my sister at Christmas I had lost 40 pounds. I also saw my grandmother then. The one who when she saw me before basically told me I was disgusting. Did either one of them notice I was down 40 pounds? NO! I'm sure they were both too involved with themselves to notice I looked better. Did it hurt? A little. But I'll show them. I'm going to see grandma next week and I'll see if she notices I'm down even more. Probably not. It's her birthday and she won't be thinking of anyone else.

My theory is keep quiet. Why announce your intentions? Why tell other people at all? Are you doing it for them? NO? You are doing it for you! If they get to benefit by you looking oh so nice later, well then, lucky them. But this is all for you baby!

2beautiful2Bfat
02-11-2008, 11:12 AM
I agree with the other posters you are not being petty at all. They are the ones in the wrong for not supporting and encouraging you!! The good thing is that lie far away so when you do see them you can shock them with your skinny self!!

gina1221
02-11-2008, 01:36 PM
Your feelings are definitely normal. When I first started eating better and exercising, I really expected everyone to be supportive (they care about me, they want me to be healthy, right?)... oh, I was so wrong in that expectation. I stil believe they care about me but not about me improving my health... they fear change.

Example: for Christmas, one aunt gave me a 2-pound box of homemade chocolates and a friend gave me a box of gourmet chocolate covered cookies. Now fortunately (for me), the gifts were left with my mom since I wasn't there and my mom didn't give them their gifts from me. So I took the cookies and rewrapped them and gave them to the aunt that gave me the chocolates and rewrapped the chocolates and gave them to the friend bearing cookie gifts. So not only am I petty but also devious... at least the cookies and candies obviously went to those who wanted them - my mom always said that people give you what they'd like to receive - I choose this time to believe her. :devil:

Anyway, the people here have been an immense source of encouragement and support even/especially when those IRL have not.

Hang in there. This is for you and you can do it! :hug:

shelby897
02-11-2008, 01:48 PM
I swear we all have our "place" picked out for us in every relationship -- the "skinny" sister, the "funny" friend, etc. I swear people are afraid that your change will throw the universe out of wack!! If you aren't the "fat" friend anymore, where will that leave them. Drives me Crazy!! My mom is that way, she pretends to be support but to be honest, the last time I lost a lot of weight, I think she was upset with me -- I had changed the dynamics of our family by being happy, confortable and cute!!

Keep up the good work, for you, not for a grudge match -- that can only hurt you in the end. Because, if you are trying to prove someone else wrong, you won't get the benefits you deserve.

Robin41
02-11-2008, 02:25 PM
Some people just suck. Being related to them doesn't change anything; it just means that you have to spend a certain amount of time surrounded by people who suck.

Use whatever encouragement works to keep you going. This is a long journey; sometimes we do it for all the right reasons and sometimes it's just fun to stick it to somebody who treated you badly. My biggest incentives have been getting BP and glucose numbers under control. That doesn't mean there wasn't a certain amount of pleasure in looking better than my DH's ex-wife when I had to see her at a Christmas function.

Eileen2bLean
02-11-2008, 02:34 PM
It really wasn't nice to laugh at you like that - I would be so hurt if one of my sisters treated me that way. It speaks really poorly for her that she feels the need to belittle you in such a vicious and insulting manner.

You are not petty at all. Please disregard all negative input and keep your focus on only the positive.

:hug:

LaurieDawn
02-11-2008, 02:48 PM
I'm with Robin. Keeping this up for the long term is tough, so you take your motivation where you find it. The challenge is, though, to keep it - I'll show them how mistaken they were - rather than to let it morph into - Nobody thinks I can do it anyway, so why does it matter?

There are so many good, good reasons to do this. As fellow travelers who have had many obstacles and setbacks, we know better than anyone that perserverance = success, even if it's not always as smooth as we'd hoped. You CAN do this, and we will love to hear how shocked your sister and friend are when they finally notice your accomplishments.

KendraLynn
02-11-2008, 03:04 PM
So I took the cookies and rewrapped them and gave them to the aunt that gave me the chocolates and rewrapped the chocolates and gave them to the friend bearing cookie gifts.
ROFL! I love it!

I experienced this same thing when I went to college at 242 lbs. I went to the nutritionist because I knew that my life at home hadn't prepared me to eat in a healthy way in the real world. She basically told me not to try and that I'd be lucky not to gain any weight during my freshman year. This, coming from a professional! That meeting kept me from trying for the next four months. Finally, after Christmas vacation at home, I decided that I could do it anyway. When the school year ended I weighed 199 lbs, and it felt SO GOOD to go back to that nutritionist the next school year at 175 lbs.

So honestly, do it for yourself but if you get satisfaction from proving people wrong, then don't feel guilty for enjoying it. You deserve to feel good about yourself! You DESERVE to do this.

MommytoGirls
02-11-2008, 03:14 PM
heheh I thought this thread was "do you feel PRETTY" LOL glad I read it !!!

yes, I feel petty sometimes, like I really just want to say "nah nah nahanhahha" to people who think i can't do it!!

For instance, my always skinny sister out West, on hearing that I've lost almost 60 lbs., sends me a box of GODIVA chocolates for Valentine's -- she has NEVER DONE THIS EVER!!!!! coincidence????!?

Lol I thought it was do you ever feel pretty too ha.

I feel petty as well sometimes. I know a lot of people in my life prob. think I will fail (again) at losing weight and I sooo badly want to prove them wrong. I want to lose the weight and be skinny and shock everyone. I feel bad about that sometimes but hey if it helps to motivate me to stay on track than I guess it can be a good thing!

Lifeguard
02-11-2008, 04:20 PM
I admit it - I'm petty. I try to keep it to myself but sometimes when my slim friends start to put on weight I gloat in my head.

vek
02-11-2008, 05:08 PM
One fisherman was catching 3 fishes a day everyday. His neighbour was only catching a fish a day. The first fisherman will be happy for his entire life if his neighbour will never be able to catch more than one fish a day. His entire universe rapports to his neighbour's ability of catching fishes. What can upset our fisherman? A storm? No. The disparition of fishes in his lake? No. The only thing that can turn upside down his life is if his neighbour will become a better fisherman.
Be a better fisherman.

bigtxmomma
02-11-2008, 07:00 PM
Wow, I can't believe your sister laughed at you. That's awful. =/ I have a hard time talking to people about my plans to lose weight because I'm too sensitive and I'll take even supportive comments to be condescending and hurtful. But your sister? Wow. I don't even know what I'd do if someone outright laughed at my efforts.

dali78
02-11-2008, 07:16 PM
I work with all guys, and this morning someone brought in breakfast for us and someone asked why I wasn't eating the quiche, and I said I don't know how many points they have. And one guy said, "oh you are doing that points crap?" Then he proceeds to tell me he eats one day and fasts the next.... how is that healthy. Then everyone knew after that. You just have to count on yourself and people on here for support. And you will show your sister and your friend you can do it. Make them eat their words. Good luck to you.

FresnoBeeDude
02-11-2008, 07:28 PM
heheh I thought this thread was "do you feel PRETTY" LOL glad I read it !!!

yes, I feel petty sometimes, like I really just want to say "nah nah nahanhahha" to people who think i can't do it!!

For instance, my always skinny sister out West, on hearing that I've lost almost 60 lbs., sends me a box of GODIVA chocolates for Valentine's -- she has NEVER DONE THIS EVER!!!!! coincidence????!?

I thought it would be a thread about Tom (you know the one who played with Stevie Nicks on Stop Draggin' My Heart Around, then later teamed up with the Heartbreakers?) Petty. Thankfully not, I never cared for his music.

Back to topic...EVERYONE has known of my plight, my determination to lose this weight. At work, if someone brings in treats to share, they always have something special for me (like a sugar free item). The other day she bought everyone a Hershey's with Almonds bar. She bought me a bag of almonds :D Thankfully I had no one to laugh at me, everyone knew I was knocking on deaths door if I continued down the path I had taken.

ThisTimeIsDifferent
02-11-2008, 07:47 PM
[QUOTE=Trazey34;2048384]heheh I thought this thread was "do you feel PRETTY" LOL glad I read it !!!

LOL! I thought the same thing! Great minds think alike ;). I know how you feel. The third day into me eating and exercising my boyfriend asks me if I want him to pick up Mcdonalds for dinner. I was so mad at his lack of consideration for me, and his lack of confidence in me. Just because we have failed at this before doesn't mean that we deserve to be treated with such disrespect, and disregard. Dont mind her because if she's treating you the way she is then she really doesn't matter. You deserve better, and you deserve to lose weight, and you will. Just remember that your doing this for yourself first, and foremost :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: :hug::hug::hug:

Sea
02-11-2008, 10:21 PM
I'm with you. The very day I started back on my diet my dh pressed me to, "make your special cookies (choc no-bakes) for your sister." I made them for her, and of course, she left most of them here when she left. Ten to one, she'll bring more chocolate in again when she next returns. She did that repeatedly the last time I tried to get my weight under control.
We have to think of ourselves or we will force them to bury us.

tamaralynn
02-12-2008, 10:20 AM
I just smile smugly and think "you'll see... I am now and will be more fabulous then you ever were... inside and out".

I don't say it of course, but thinking it makes me feel MUCH better.

bluex
02-12-2008, 11:18 AM
Determination can sure prove them wrong. As you continue to lose weight and show that you can stay away from their treats, eventually they start respecting you and your diet. Don't let other people get to you, in the end you'll prove them wrong.

nylisa
02-12-2008, 02:42 PM
Nah, it's not catty or petty, it's taking revenge by living well. Catty & petty is discouraging/disparaging someone's attempts at self-improvement because it makes us feel insecure. There's cattiness & pettiness going on, but not by you.

Lovely
02-12-2008, 03:17 PM
Like so many others, I also read "pretty". >_<

I see nothing wrong with feeling smug about losing weight and remembering how they laughed about it. It's true, as long as you stay away from the "boo-hoo that means I can't do it" attitude, it can be motivating to think about how you're doing it even though they doubted you.

Pfft. They can doubt. You'll continuing doing.

And it most certainly makes victory all the sweeter.

jennyplain
02-12-2008, 05:06 PM
I work with all guys, and this morning someone brought in breakfast for us and someone asked why I wasn't eating the quiche, and I said I don't know how many points they have. And one guy said, "oh you are doing that points crap?" Then he proceeds to tell me he eats one day and fasts the next.... how is that healthy. Then everyone knew after that. You just have to count on yourself and people on here for support. And you will show your sister and your friend you can do it. Make them eat their words. Good luck to you.

Ha! That sounds like my dad. No matter what I'm doing, he's like "that doesn't have any points in it!" when it does, or he'll look at something and say "that must have a MILLION points" when it hardly has any at all. Then he insists that all I'll have to do is cut out breakfast and lunch like he does and just eat a huge dinner. I eventually had to say "You do what works for you, and I'll do what works for me!"

Noelani
02-12-2008, 05:17 PM
Everyone always seems to have an opinion on how others should live their lives. It all basically comes down to what works for you. I don't think it is at all petty. If it helps to motivate you then by all means use it :)

I do agree that I probably wouldn't talk to a family member or "friend" very often if they were always negative about things like that. Their negativity can't help but rub off on ya after a while.

math puppy
02-13-2008, 02:51 AM
we will give you all the support you need! sorry that they are so negative, i bet they are just as negitve about thier own lives. sad.
the good news is you are possitive, and when you belive you can do somthing, thats what makes it possible! i belive in us. we all can do this!

sharonrr1
02-13-2008, 03:09 AM
I think a lot of my family thought it was going to be another unsuccessful, half-hearted attempt on my part. After all look at the statistics and my track record was not good at all. What was important and is important -
I DID THIS FOR ME!!! Yes everyone around me gets a healthier Mom, Wife, Sister, but this time I did it for me. Try to focus on that. I know it sucks when all the people around you are not supportive but we are here for you and you can do this with the right attitude. Put your head up high and don't let others ruin your month, week, day, hour or minute of your life.

Sassy_Chick
02-13-2008, 05:14 AM
I agree with everyone here. I think people get really scared when someone they care about is going to change something about themselves. But I say whateverone else here has said, do it for you. That is why I am doing it.

I haven't told anybody that I am trying to lose except for my DH and my mother, that is it, oh yeah and all you fine chicks here. lol. ;)

LOL @ the re-gifting the cookies and chocolates, that is a good one!!!

I also work with mostly men, they are horrible and have the worst perspectives on food!!! lol.

:hug:

Ookpik
02-17-2008, 01:21 AM
When I first read the subject, I thought it said "pretty" too!

I can be petty. I can't help it. I started losing weight last January, and so far I have 86 pounds gone. I have quite a few co-workers also trying to lose weight, and aren't getting anywhere. I know that some are envious, but aren't mean about it, and others who practically give off hostile vibes. A couple of my friends there have told me some coworkers resent my success and don't like it when the subject of my weight loss is brought up when I'm not around. Well, I'm certainly not going to feel guilty for improving my health and life. I try to be sensitive when I'm around those who are trying but not losing, but not mean about my success (for example, the other day we were talking about how hard it is to find clothes that fit -- we live in a rural area where there are no plus-size stores -- and I thought about how now I can pretty much find something to fit no matter what store I'm in, but I didn't mention it because it would be like rubbing salt in their wounds, and I didn't want them to feel bad. On the other hand, there are those who give off hostile vibes. I wear a uniform to work and usually wear a sweater over the shirt, and the sweater is way too big and people say it doesn't do me justice. So yesterday I took off off the sweater to flaunt my success in front of those who resent me and rub it in. Just my way of flipping the bird. Plus the jealous co-workers had to hear compliments I got from others, which made it all the sweeter. So yeah, I am petty...but only when it comes to the ones who want me to fail.