Weight Loss Support - I Don't fit in any category.

View Full Version : I Don't fit in any category.

02-06-2008, 08:54 AM
What do you do when you don't feel like you fit any of the forum categories?
I used to go to certain threads and post. Now when I read some of it I feel like I don't belong. Does anyone understand what I mean. I don't want to say too much and hurt peoples feelings. I am not concentrating on weight anymore just my bodyfat %. I am still overweight in lbs. but that does not matter to me as much as getting a healthy bodyfat. I have lost 85 lbs. total from 2003 but my bodyfat is still way too high because I probably lost muscle by concentrating on cardio and diet instead of weights and diet with some cardio. Can anyone relate? I have gone to the ladies who lift. It seems like they are all pros and it and I'm a novice.

02-06-2008, 09:26 AM
Hey Sharon! :wave:

Well, threads are kind of like real life--people come and go--sometimes we don't like some people, but we do like others--it's always changing!

No one feels like they always fit in. But you are always welcome to join in the discussions anywhere! Why, I bet that if you say you're a novice over in the lifters forum, you'll get a ton of helpful comments. :)

Have you been to the Active Folks Over 50 thread in the Age 50+ forum? It's a small and highly varied group, but we have some interesting topics now and then.

I think body fat % is the most important indicator of health. How are you approaching it?


02-06-2008, 09:34 AM
I am having my bodyfat tested at my local "Y". I have it done monthly. I have been away on vacation since Dec. 19th so I haven't had it done lately. Today will be my first day back since on vacation. I'll be checking it out then.
Thank you for asking and replying.

02-06-2008, 09:50 AM
hello sharron, i kind of had the same problem when i first started out. I sometimes kind of still feel like that but i joined a discussion group and I feel better about it now. I feel i am really getting to know these ladies and they know me. I really really like it. Just try having a discussion with a few people and see how it goes. Good luck.

02-06-2008, 10:26 AM
At my work, I had to move from one building to another. At first, I felt kind of left out and lonesome and missed the folks in the old building. After I had been there for a while, I started to fit in. It just took a little time, and I had to make an effort to be friendly. I think it is the same way on these forums. It just takes a little while to find your place and your friends.

Just about the biggest thing I lift is my coffee cup, so I am not familiar with the "ladies who lift" group, but maybe there is a place to start a beginners to intermediate group over there.

02-06-2008, 10:47 AM
I understand how you feel. I don't quite think I fit in many places, but that doesn't stop me from posting all over! >_>

I don't really rule out any groups particularly, but instead read through the actual conversations that they're having. Often there are similar things & feelings going on in my life. If I can relate, or think that I can support or give advice, I post. Sometimes I just read and understand a little more about a person or situation.

If you keep on reading around, you might just find a few people or places you enjoy! ^^

02-06-2008, 11:06 AM
Sharon, the only forum I visit on a regular basis is the Walk Away The Pounds daily chat. However, I'm in the weight loss support and general chatter quite often. Sometimes I feel funny going into a forum and posting. But, by the same token, I've never been asked to leave. Nobody in any of the forums say anything about "not qualifying" to be in there. I'm well above the 20+, 30+ and 40+ rooms. I still go in there.

Like Jay said, go over and ask some questions. The people on here are so supportive.

02-06-2008, 11:25 AM
I'm one that just bops around. I love the 100lb forum and no one has ever asked me to leave (although with what I have gained and lost----that is likely about 100lbs).

The way I see it is that we are all here because our former habits have made our bodies less than healthy. Many define that unhealthiness as numbers on a scale or on clothing tags. Others define that unhealthiness in difficulty achieving goals related to fitness, travel, life with children, etc. Others may define it as body fat percentage.

Some of us fix it through calorie counting or formal programs. Some of us run, lift weights, WATP, and some have not started any exercise program.

But what EVERY single one of us is doing is reconsidering intake compared to output. That calls for habit changes. For the discomfort that goes with changes. It might go with moments when we are sure we cannot ever reach our goals. It is hard sometimes and simple sometimes. But it is change.

So I would encourage all of us here to look past the titles on the forums. When you see someone reaching out for support, offer it, no matter if it is in the weight loss surgery forum or the depression forum or any forum that you wonder if you do or don't fit in. This community is far far more than the boundaries of forums. Those boundaries help keep things organized, but they are not there to limit the support we give or get.

You will be more than welcome in LWL---I am a baby brand new poster in there as well and I am not shy about extending that welcome. Share what you know. Ask questions. You are a valued member of 3FC!!!!

02-06-2008, 11:36 AM
Where I post now has changed over the years.

My focus these days is really on eating healthy and losing weight is secondary. I think it is easier to eat less if you eat healthier foods so it does help with weight loss. My other focus is exercising every day, increasing my strength and endurance. Good thing those things help burn calories and also help to lose weight but as I said that goal is secondary.

I like 100 lb club because it is nice to be around those who have had 100 lbs or more to lose in the past or still have 100 lbs or more to lose. I like support because there are is a large variety here. I like Weight and Resistance Training (formerly LWL) because it is nice to be around others who believe in lifting weights. And even though there are experts there, not everyone is, I'm still learning myself after many years. I love Whole Foods Lifestyle because it is what I believe in. There are other areas as well that I enjoy but it does vary on a variety of factors.

02-06-2008, 01:35 PM
Yet another forum-bouncer here...never found just one spot that felt right, so I post wherever...even areas where I don't normally "fit" or post. I, too, have never had a problem...people on these boards just want to be helpful and supportive, regardless of who you are.

Most of the sub-boards and sub-forums were created to help people more easily find advice and situations that pertain to them, not to exclude people who don't perfectly go into one category.

02-06-2008, 01:51 PM
I'm for sure another forum-bouncer-arounder.

Like Nelie, I can very much relate to the folks over at the 100lb club forum, having needed to lose and then losing over 100lbs. But I pop in ALL OVER THE PLACE. Fabulous Food, nutrition, calorie counters, weight loss support, maintainers, hey, why not come on over to the Maintainer's Forum? I think you will really enjoy and benefit from it. Yes, please come on over.

Anyway we are all here at 3FC for one reason, to get to and then remain at a healthy weight. So, I really do feel as if we all belong together. Where ever you decide to go and that can change daily or heck, even hourly, please do stick around. I always enjoy your posts. :)

02-06-2008, 03:00 PM
I wouldn't worry about being a novice over at Ladies who Lift. There's nothing "experts" like more than trying to help an interested newby. They didn't start out knowing everything; they learned it just like you will.

Six months from now you'll be the one answering questions from somebody else who's new to lifting.

02-07-2008, 11:47 PM
Thank you all for your support and replies. I guess after being gone on vacation for so long and then before that just not here that often I felt displaced. I'm feeling better now.

02-11-2008, 12:04 PM
Is there a link for Ladies Who Lift?

02-11-2008, 01:46 PM
The forum got renamed to "Weight and Resistance Training." :) Go here:



02-11-2008, 01:53 PM
I've been at the weight lifters part of this forum and they are quite helpful even when I've asked dumb questions, like about buying a home barbell set. The best way to learn in life is to hang out with those who are successful, who are succeeding and those women are very cool - check out some of their before and after pics! THAT's what I want to be one day. Just remember this, others might mentor you, but once you are the "expert" it's your turn to share... carma.

02-11-2008, 02:18 PM
Sharon, I'm like you, which is probably the reason that I post here for a while and then I go missing... not that I "blame" others... it's just I haven't gotten that connection where people track me down and say "hey, where the heck are you! we're worried about you!". A LONG, long time ago I ran a Yahoo group and I had connections there that I have never really gotten anywhere else.

That said, I think that because each person is different, some may fit in easier than others do in certain groups. And it's up to us to find our way and we will probably change along the way like lots of people have (or will have) mentioned.

I personally am still trying to find my way here - I'm a Weight Watcher, but in the Netherlands, so the US program (and US food!) is almost completely irrelevant for me. I'm 39, but I don't feel like a "30-something". I used to be a maintainer, but I've gained all my weight back. So, for some of us, it's a little bit more work to find our spot, but ultimately this whole board is FULL of great people and great support and you will eventually find at least a connection with someone if not a whole group.

So my advise is exactly what others have said to me... hang in there and keep posting and you will find your way!

02-11-2008, 02:56 PM
Does it help if I tell you that I miss you over on the 100lb club? So many of my old buddies are gone now. There are a ton of awesome "newer" folks there, but I'd love to see my buds there, too.

02-11-2008, 05:42 PM
I'm a thread hopper too. In fact on a good day off, I just keep clicking new posts and read almost everything.

My regulars are Maintainers and Featherweights. I like Introductions and Weight Loss Support. General Chatter is fun. There was a 'find your fabulous abs' type thread ... I'll find it again when I dump some more Christmas weight.

What about Maintainers or Featherweight exercise threads? The LWL are great. They were helpful even when I was struggling with 5 lb dumbells.