This thread was from another board but I thought it was an interesting question, so I decided to post it here and see what my fellow calorie counters think since counting is not a specific plan (e.g. weight watchers, nutrisystem etc).
Quote:
Originally Posted by aerotigergirl
Does anyone else feel self-conscious about people finding out that you're doing WW (or that you're trying to lose weight at all)?
A couple of nights ago, my friend and I went out to dinner at Chili's (their Guiltless Grill is actually pretty good, and moderate in points). I took out my little WW journal and was writing down the points, and just then the waitress arrived with our food. I felt like I'd been caught with my pants down!
Then, on Superbowl Sunday, we were spending time with friends who (meaning well) kept on offering me pizza...and chips and salsa...and other various yumminess.... But I knew that I shouldn't, so I kept declining... I felt embarrassed, though, because they kept encouraging me to enjoy the food and I kept declining...
Trying to get healthy is certainly nothing to be ashamed about, so why am I so scared for people to know about what I'm doing? Is it just that I don't want people to know because then if I slip-up, my personal failure becomes a public failure? Is it because admitting that you want to change your body makes you vulnerable? What are your thoughts?
It's funny, I lost ~30 lbs doing Weight Watchers and kept it off for 2+ years prior to getting pregnant. Back then, I didn't mind if anyone knew I was dieting or watching what I ate. I really think the reason I wasn't embarassed was because I was very successful in a fairly short amount of time and maintained my slimmer self well.
This time around (postbaby) I'm really struggling and don't want people to know I'm dieting outside of my DH and one or two close friends. I think the reason I don't want to spread it around is because I'm really struggling, I keep gaining and losing the same 3 or 4 pounds. Committing and sticking to a diet has been really hard; I've been starting and restarting trying to lose this weight over the last few months. I'm embarassed because I don't want to seem like I'm "crying wolf", you know the girl who's constantly on a diet but never seems to lose weight.
I have been telling myself that I don't want anyone to know I am doing WW b/c they will keep track of what I am eating. I think the reality is that I personally do not want to fail (again). I have lost 14.5 in 4 weeks (needles to say I have a long way to go but am very pumped up).
being in college, I'm extremely self-conscious. I feel like it's okay for a skinny girl to joke about calories or talk about going to the gym but if a fat girl does the same it's more of a stigma like "oh, she's DIETing" none of my friends know and i want to surprise my parents so only my sister knows and i don't talk to her about it that much.
I am new here. I hope it is okay to just jump into a post? Always self-conscious about that. This post just struck a chord with me as I was poking around a bit. No matter who you are, not matter your diet (personally I hate the word. I don't believe in dieting, simply each person's preferred way of eating...) I have been doing Atkins for almost 6 years. In that time, I have come across every kind of folks...from the most supportive to those who simply don't understand, and can become quite rude when I refuse to eat a piece of chocolate or something else I *know* is not good for me. Well, just one won't hurt, they say. Yes, it will, and I know it. I found as more and more weight came off, the better I felt about me, the easier it was to be strong and say NO. We can not fail at this. I don't believe in a "failure". We can only do our best for ourselves. My weight means everything to me. Should it? Should it be so important? Maybe not, but it is. It is what I need to feel good about me. I like what I do. I like the way I eat. I do not feel deprived in any way. And that is a small bit of the psychology I think some do not understand. *I* do not feel deprived over not eating that piece of chocolate or munching my raw veggies and a can of tuna for lunch spread on some homemade low carb fried cheese. I don't allow others to make me feel embaressed anymore. Perhaps this sounds cruel, but I have begun turning it around on others: I say things like...yes, I am sure it does taste good but do you know how much sugar/carbs is in that? People don't quite know what to say when you turn it around on them. :-) For the first time in a long 5 years I like me, like being me, and other than stretch marks from having 4 beautiful little girls, I happen to like my body too. I can not fail. I can only succeed, and the first step is having the understanding that whatever "diet" we choose to do is based on a need to feel better about ourselves and then having the will and self-control to know the difference.
I'm trying to drop just my last few pounds, and I HATE telling people I'm on a diet. Inevitably they say "come on, you don't need to lose weight... you don't need to get home to go to the gym... stay and have some cake!", and I'm always wondering if they think I have an eating disorder or something. I'm realistic in my goals about what I'd like to lose (just a last bit of tummy fat), and going about it in a healthy way, so I think it's entirely my own business!
I get a lot of "you've lost so much already, don't you think it's ok to splurge once in awhile?"
and while I DO know that it's ok for me to splurge once in awhile I also know i need to plan it - and treats at work are not planned. I do get embarassed sometimes though - and I definitely don't advertise to many people that i'm watching what I eat. I tend to use excuses like "i'm really sensitive to that kind of food and can't eat it often" - be it sugar, white bread, whatever. it's enough of an answer for most people, though some get agressive about it sometimes. I always say "no thank you" and am as polite about it as possible but i'm not going to eat junk just so that I won't hurt someone's feelings.
I wouldn't really say I'm embarrassed, more so just that my family and friends know I've been fighting with my weight for several years now and seem to be doing good for a little while then next time they see me I'm eating whatever and not caring. I haven't told many people this time simply because they will automatically think I'll be back to my old habits in a matter of weeks. I want them to see the finished product and be like...wow she really did it this time!
I am not embarrassed. It is just nobody's business.
I don't want my weight or my diet or food to become the only thing people talk with me about.
Where I used to live, people noticed that I had lost weight, and so I was always getting comments. It's nice at first, but then it becomes a PITA. Especially the ones who start with the "Now don't lose too much" crap when I am clearly still overweight. I moved after I had lost that first chunk of weight (top ticker), and people where I live now don't know that I used to be heavier. It's nice not to have to put up with their comments.
If too many people have become interested in your weight loss, deflect their comments and bring the conversation around to something else.
As for listing your points in your book at a restaurant--who cares what waitstaff think? Don't be ashamed! You're doing something good.
I hear ya JayEll it's nobodies business I'm losing weight but my own. I got those comments as well when I first lost the 55 lbs and all that jazz. My co-workers got jealous and started shoving pastries at me.. I work at Starbucks which I flat out refused.. our food is the worst and the drinks are not much better.
Don't be embarresed, be proud of yourself for doing something awsome for yourself!
I think for me the biggest thing is I know they are thinking here we go again. She can lose weight but she always gains it back. This is my last diet>I am going to keep the weight off this time by eating 3 meals a day for the rest of my life.I need to keep moving for the rest of my life. I want to be healthy!!
After seeing family members go thru heart problem and diabetic at an early age i want to be healthy!
Me, it doesn't bother me. I obviously need to lose weight and the way I look at it is I am improving my life and there is nothing embarrassing about that. I would be more embarrassed to do nothing. I actually had someone say yesterday that I am going to end up the department dietary expert. LOL! I had to agree with him. I am on a mission to figure out how to get this weight off without feeling deprived and enjoying my food and life. What I am doing will have to be what I do for the rest of my life. I am making sure I can do it for the rest of my life and that I am doing it right. If this means studying about nutrition and exercise, having trial and errors, I will do it until I get it right. If it was easy we wouldn't have overweight people in the medical profession.
I applaud all of you and so would the medical profession. You are making an effort to get healthier. DH has been having health issues or thought he was and we have had 2 doctors now tell us how hard it is to lose weight in society today. They struggle with their weight because food taste good, it is affordable, it is everywhere and even as a doctor and knowing the risk doesn't make it any easier.
What I discovered when I had a brush with diabetes was when I told people I was diabetic they didn't offer me any treats. LOL! I guess hearing the word diabetic changed their mind that a little wouldn't hurt.
I am personally never embarrassed but agree with the comments that it is exhausting how everyone makes what you eat their business.
I will say that now that I have been at this for almost a year and had alot of success, most people that have known me just ignore. I have certaintly proven that I know what I am doing. But this was not always the case.
The feeling of embarrasement is related low esteem and that is never a healthy emotion to have when losing weight.
And remember all those nice friends that comment on your effor to lose weight are bascially trying to sabatoge your diet. They might not realize it and it may not come accross that way but yes all those comments are sabatoging comments!
I'm not exactly embarrassed, but my hubby thinks I'm crazy! He caught me writing in my food-journal last night and said I was "obsessed". No, that's just how I choose to diet - by counting the calories!
What I'm really embarrassed about if when people tell me "Aww, you don't need to lose weight". Well, yes I do! I know I'm technically in the "healthy range" for my height, but there are things I need to get rid of - like the extra 20 lbs I've packed on since this past summer!
Are you embarassed?
wow, I never thought of it that way..........
