Weight Loss Support - Weight Loss = Life Story???? (Ranty)

02-01-2008, 01:49 AM
Hi Everyone!!!
I feel like I have been ranting a lot lately... So here's another one;)

So I have an issue with this whole "life story" thing I'm having to go through lately...

When I did Weight Watchers the first time, I did SO well, and I felt completely unstoppable! I didn't feel ashamed of the fact that I decided to eat healthier than my boyfriend's friends (when they ate fondue, they set out a bowl of carrots for me with a sticky-note "Carrots - 0pts"!!) I was proud to say to my family that I was losing weight, and I told my dancer's parents what my "big weight loss secret" was once they started to notice how thin I was getting!

The only thing that made me feel icky about losing weight was the fact that I do teach impressionable little girls Irish Dance, and I'm absolutely terrified of turning into one of "Those Dance Teachers" that call students fat, or that insists on their students staying rail thin in order to be any good at their craft! (or at least, by being thin, appearing as one of those teachers, even though I would NEVER say that).

And I think what my previous Weight Watchers experience has turned into is "I lost 35 pounds once", and it's really put me into a funk knowing that I had gained that back plus some.... (though I'm skinnier now than I was when I started last time ;))

So something happened this week where I had the chance to start talking to a gal that makes custom Irish Dance Solo Dresses. And this would be my FIRST Solo Dress! I've been dreaming of getting one since I was 12, so this is a HUGE deal for me to finally have the funds to do this! (they're anywhere from $1500-$3000 typically..) I'm pretty sure this is more important to me than a wedding dress... lol :p

I wrote the gal an email saying that I would LOVE to get a dress made by her, and in the email I told her about my current weight loss (with no "I did this once before" crutch), how I've lost about 13 pounds since 12/31/07, and how I'm hoping to lose 40-50 total by sometime in September (or close to.. you know, whatever ;)). And I felt SO awkward telling her all of this!!!!! But she deserves to know! If I'm reluctant to give her measurements because they keep changing, and she doesn't know why--- that would probably make her really uncomfortable during this process that's supposed to be SO cool!

And the issue is really that I'm telling a LOT of people without them really asking, because I feel like it's ~vital~ for them to know... Like I told my Dance Company's leader because we need to be prepared to make me a new dress for St. Patrick's Day.... And I told my Brother's Fiancee because I'm going to be a maid, and her mom is custom making the dresses, and I didn't want to show up in Texas not being able to fit into a dress, and ruin her wedding!!! ....

I just feel so EXPOSED!!!!! And "more accountable"????? I don't know. I sort of feel like if I fail now, everyone's going to say "but what happened to 50 by September?", or something.... Ugh.

I'm not going to stop being on plan, I'm not doing this for any of them--I'm doing it for me and my poor joints!!! But I don't like feeling like I'm under a microscope....

It's almost like I've come out of the "diet closet" without being ready... If that makes sense!!! :lol:

I just feel so UGH!!! Help?? (Although I don't really know what I'm asking for, whether it's condolences, or relatable stories...???) Anything would help at this point!!

Thank you, everyone!!! For always being here to support!!!


Mini GOAL:
10% by St. Patrick's Day! I want to fit into my Dress!! Aiee!!!

02-01-2008, 08:14 AM
I actually admire your being open, even if it feels a little forced to you. I began WW last April and I've told almost no one.

Even the few people to whom I've mentioned it... well it does leave me feeling a bit exposed.

Don't stop to think "What if?" just DO. You're following the program, you're changing your life. If anything it'll be easier with some people knowing, because then they can give you all that positive feedback you need while you're slimming down :)

And ya know? You're doing really well! Keep at it :) You'll look gorgeous in your Solo Dress.

02-01-2008, 08:17 AM
I understand exactly how you feel. I don't know if I can offer any help, but I can tell you that you're not alone!!

I lost 110 pounds and changed my life quite a bit. I went from a woman who had been obese for years to a healthy runner. I even started coaching cross country at the school where I teach, so the whole community knows about my weight loss and transformation. I feel like everyone watches everything I do now, even though that probably isn't always true. The problem is this: now I'm pregnant (well, that's not really a problem -- I'm overjoyed about it). But I've had lots of comments like "Oh, now you'll gain all that weight back." I feel like everyone's watching and waiting for me to gain it back. Obviously, I WILL gain some weight (I'm growing a person, after all), but I plan to stay healthy and get back to running after the birth. I just hate that the weight loss has come to define who I am. In a way, I love it because I'm proud of what I did and I want people to be inspired by it. But in another way, I want people to move on from it and just let me BE this healthy new person without putting any extra pressure on me. It's tough to explain to people who haven't been through it, so let me just tell you -- I understand how you feel! Whether you're in the process or whether the weight is already lost, you feel like everyone is watching. Ugh! You have to just do what is right for you and ignore anything that annoys you, but I know that's easier said than done. :hug:

02-01-2008, 08:46 AM
I've lost 120 pounds, so it became kind of obvious, whether I wanted it to or not. I tend to be pretty open about talking about it, and there are times when it really is important to bring it up. I tend to downplay my success because I know so many people gain it back. People congratulate me and I say things like "Let's just see if I keep it off." I suppose it sounds self-deprecating, but I need to keep reminding myself that maintenance is for life!

Sometimes it's nice to meet new people who never knew me before... but sometimes people I have known for a while tell them anyway!

Let's face it, it's quite a thing to lose a lot of weight and keep it off. I think more success stories out there are inspiring! But that can be a bit overwhelming at times too.

Just keep doing what you're doing and enjoy your success!

02-01-2008, 09:04 AM
I think this is one reason that time deadlines can sometimes be destructive. When I started I told almost everyone, but said I was going to take it at my own pace no matter how long it took. This took the pressure off of being held to any kind of timeline by anyone else. It is so hard to feel like people are judging you. for trying to do something that is already difficult enough in itself.

02-01-2008, 09:15 AM
Nancy echoes my thoughts on this. I set no timelines for myself! This IS difficult enough!

02-01-2008, 10:18 AM
Hey. :wave:

I can pretty much understand that you'd need to let people making clothes for you that you were actively losing weight--but I think what may have happened with the rest of them is that in your desire to take a strong stand for losing weight, you told more people than you needed to. So, now you may have to put up with questions about "How's the weight loss going?"

I'm one of those who doesn't discuss weight, weight loss, dieting, etc. with many people in the real world. I just don't think it's their business, and I don't want the attention. I really dislike how much focus is put on women's weight, either heavy or thin.

I moved to a new community after my main weight loss, and it's really great because no one here knows that I used to be heavier. They just assume I am a "normal" person, and even though I occasionally miss comments about "Oh, you've lost so much weight!" I also am just as glad that it's no longer the main thing people put on me.


02-01-2008, 11:11 AM
Thank you, guys, for your support!
I don't like the idea of "date goals" either--which is why I'm taking my weight loss 10% at a time (in my mind). And if I happen to hit the 10%'s by these big markers--I'll be thrilled! And if not, I'm still losing, so that's all that really matters!!! (although) You may notice on my "ticker" it says that I want to lose 10% by St. Pats--which I think is totally feasible! It's only 5.6 pounds in 6 weeks. And if I don't make it? Well--my dress fit last night!! (a little snug, but it still zipped and everything!) So it's alright with me if I don't make it. :)

I didn't really give a time-stamped goal to anyone but my Solo Dress maker--and it was a pretty vague time stamp (ie: "I hope I'm around my goal weight by September, but we'll see how fast it the rest comes off!"). But yeah... I think I was wanting it to stay my close-knit support group of 4 people (boyfriend, mom, friend, and best friend), and it sky rocketed into my 4-people, the costumers, and any 3rd party people that need to know because they're relaying information or helping with the dresses!

I guess the issue for me is that, yeah-- as Faerie noticed-- I really like telling people AFTER I've had some noticeable success and they ask me about it. This is the same reason I can't be a cold-call tele-marketer or a Mary Kay/Partylite (etc) salesperson!!! The idea of being ~that person~ that tries to sell their success to everyone they talk to (and that everyone inevitably avoids!) is just NOT someone I want to be!!! This is something that's supposed to help me be more approachable, not feel alienated!!

(yet another rant.. lol! Sorry ladies! :p)


Mini GOAL:
10% by St. Patrick's Day! I want to fit into my Dress!! Aiee!!!