100 lb. Club - Haha. Raunchy weight-loss joke.




View Full Version : Haha. Raunchy weight-loss joke.


althepirate
01-13-2008, 12:13 AM
Well, I think it's great. Warning: this joke is raunchy, and although it doesn't say anything outright, it makes allusions to sex, etc. :o

Beside....we all need to lighten up a bit, laugh a little, doncha think? ;)






A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads: "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs., as promised.

He then calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.

She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads: "If you catch me, you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot!

This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he does, it's definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze, so for the next four days, the same routine happens.

Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone,
"This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies," I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds this huge, muscular, 7 ft man standing there, wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that read: "I'm Bruce. If I catch you, you're mine..."


JasonsLea
01-13-2008, 12:19 AM
:rofl:

Chamie
01-13-2008, 03:17 AM
OMG!!!!

That is just what I needed!!


Jessie_777
01-13-2008, 05:00 AM
:lol: Good laugh, thanks!

Reddalice
01-13-2008, 06:57 AM
ROFLMAO! That was good, and I will share it tonight for a few more good laughs.

lilybelle
01-13-2008, 07:02 AM
LOL, that was great!

Cassie501107
01-13-2008, 09:53 AM
LOL...I seen this on MySpace the other day--too funny!

gina1221
01-13-2008, 10:33 AM
TOO Funny!! :lol3:

kimmieone
01-13-2008, 10:47 AM
all man, that was funny! :)

GirlyGirlSebas
01-13-2008, 11:38 AM
Oh! Now, that's funny!

althepirate
01-13-2008, 01:35 PM
:) I'm glad y'all are enjoying this joke.

I was hesitant to put it up, seeing as how some people could get offended....but I'm glad people are taking it all in good fun!

chick_in_the_hat
01-13-2008, 02:12 PM
Not that there's anything wrong with it....:lol3:

math puppy
01-13-2008, 02:17 PM
i thought they were going to give him nothing but a pair of nike shoes and a sign that said "if you can catch me,you can have me".

althepirate
01-13-2008, 02:21 PM
Not that there's anything wrong with it....:lol3:



:) I know there's nothing really wrong with it, and as far as sexy jokes go, it's pretty tame....but some people just get touchy, ya know?



....then again, there's me who almost cried laughing when I first read it. Lol.:D

chick_in_the_hat
01-13-2008, 02:35 PM
That's a Seinfeld reference. :D I'm the last one to get insulted. Talk about pot calling a kettle black.

althepirate
01-13-2008, 02:42 PM
Lol, I'm sorry. I should have gotten that....but I'm still half asleep :)

Chelavon
01-13-2008, 03:05 PM
That was funny!!!