So I just had a long conversation with my best friend and it felt so good just to talk about all my stressors with weightloss, exercise, college, bf, and anything else you can think of!
I just thought that maybe some of you wanted to unload on me and tell me about something that's really bothering you! Anything about your struggle with your weight, family, school, work, etc. I'll be a good listener!!! Plus I'm sure you'll get alot of advice and comfort from others that are 20-something!
I've had recurring abcesses in my lymph (read, under arm/chest) area since I was 14 (21 now) and I never understand why and none of the antibiotics docotrs have prescribed have worked effectively (yes, I take all of them, and I take them on schedule). I keep getting reinfected.
I just recently realized that since I am so overweight I'm probably not disinfecting every area as well as I could be and that may be why the infeaction comes back. This makes me very sad and a little disgusted with myself.
Im suffering from one right now under my right arm and its painful, its ugly, its gross, im self concious about it, once it starts to drain it will probably smell, it's destroying my skin but mostly today it HURTS. And I have a final today (in and hour actaully) that is two solid hours of writing and I am right handed. I really don't need this.
What makes it even more frustrating is that one recurred happened after I had been eating very (whole foods almost exclusively) healthily for about a week. I was doing the right thing and then I get sick...I know that these two things are probably not related to each other but honeslty if I were pigging out on pizza and coke I'd feel better about it. At least I would have "deserved" it, but now Im trying to do the right thing and obstacles are thrown in my way. My mother suggests that maybe my body is more able to fight infection now that I am overwheling it with less junk and that it may indeed be leading to the new abcess...which makes sense but really, wth is that?
I have lost 7+ pounds, I'm sucessfully completing my last year of my undergraduate degree this year, my job is going really and I have alot of things and people in my life to be super greatful for but right now I can't but help feeling like this is some sort of punishment and I am feeling resentful...and like I want a brownie (don't worry, I won't have one). *sigh*
I'm frustrated with people making me feel guilty for what I have in life. Over the last couple of weeks a couple of friends have been making subtle jabs at me. Saying things like "It must be nice to have the kinda job you do and it just fell into your lap. I'll never find something like that" or "Your house is really nice, I suspose I could afford a place like this too if my parents were helping me out like yours are." or my favourite "sigh, I can't believe how much i'm paying towards my student loans. But nevermind you wouldn't understand."
Yes I know I'm lucky! My parents have the means to help me out alot. But I have worked freakin hard to get to where I am. It drives me nuts when people start making me feel guilty for my parents' success and they're desire to help me out. I saved the money for my down payment. I started saving when I was 10 years old. My parents told me they would match every $ I put into my account. After inveseting over many years I had the money for my down payment. Yes, My parents are helping me with the mortage. I got myself my job and have worked hard for my raise and promotion. I'm fed up with people looking at me and thinking that i have never worked a day in my life, coz that is definately not the case!
House those abcesses must be so hard to deal with, I'm sorry that you keep getting them, and at such a young age too! I can't imagine dealing with that for that long of a time. I've heard that when you give your body rest from bad foods that it will try to rid of excess toxins you've accumulated, and as a result of that you could get boils, zits, abcesses, really bad breath, etc... So I'm wondering if your mom's thought on that isn't true (your body is fighting to get better)??
Good job on losing 7 pounds already! Especially going through your last year of college...I know how the stress with that feels because I am also in my last year! So kudos to being able to say no to the brownie you were thinking about eating! hehe
shantroy-
People are so quick to judge, and I know I am guilty of it from time to time too. That is awesome that your parents told you they would 'match' what you save and not just give you all the money. That to me tells that you have been working hard to get what you have. I know just because parents have lots of money doesn't mean the kids recieve complete support from them! My parents are by no means rich, they are barely able to pay all their bills, but if I am in a jam, I know that they would help me out with any extra they have...even if it's $50! So I too recieve support once and a while from my parents, it doesn't mean I'm lucky, it just means my parents are there for me. If people around you don't realize it then that's too bad on their part!
Short1: Thanks alot for the thread and for the individual response, that's really nice. And congrats on finishing your last year too! yes it is super stressful...maybe we should start a graduation goal challenge cause I feel like alot of us might be finishing up this year?
Shantroy: You know YOU earned what you have, that's what matters the most....and really if your family does help you out that can only reflect well on them for helping you and on you for earning their respect and trust so that they feel comfortable helping you...I'm from an immigrant family and that's what family is for...helping each other. It's not like you are mooching off of your indigent granny. If someone can't understand that they are ridiculous...and really you shouldn't have to them anyway. I actually wonder how this comes up in conversation at all?
Thanks guys, I know I'm a little spoiled but I've stil worked hard for what I've got. It's nice to hear some reasurance that I shouldn't feel guilty for the help I've got.
Mirth, It's come up up in coversation over the last few weeks b/c I've been havng people over to my place for the holidays. They start commenting on my place and then with the holidays coming up conversations eventually seem to turn to how broke we all are and so on. I'm becoming adept at steering the conversation to other topics.
I'm annoyed with a few of my friends recently. They've become smug and almost stopped talking to me entirely.
I moved to Kentucky from Massachusetts (1000 miles) in March this year. My fiance's family all lives here, plus the cost of living is cheaper. And I hate snow...and they get practically none. It seemed like heaven in a bit of a hickish package. =P
The reason we moved was because the opportunity we were going to be receiving. His parents were going to GIVE us their home (2500 Sq. Ft., 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, amazing upscale neighborhood). They were going to GIVE us their business and let us run it and live off the great income. They were going to pay for us to move (U-Haul, gas, everything). It sounded too good to be true.
Honestly, I barely even mentioned any of that to most of my friends. Only my really close ones (and really, that's only mainly because they read my LiveJournal and found out that way). I'm not one to go brag "Oh, we're getting this amazing house, this amazing business...." So I didn't. If they asked, I told them. But for the most part, I'm fairly reserved about my personal life. Don't ask, don't tell is what I live by. But of course, word of mouth gets out with my friends, so they all eventually knew.
Anyway, a few of my friends now are almost mad at me for what I've been given. They say I haven't earned it or that I don't deserve it. And that they'd give anything to have the things I have. I'm not ungrateful!! I appreciate everything incredibly and take nothing I have in my life for granted. I was appalled my friends would say that.
And it's not like I didn't give anything up. I moved 1000 miles away from my home, my family, my lifelong friends of 21 years. It was heart-wrenching. I cried for the first 3 hours of the 21 hour U-Haul drive to Kentucky. I cried myself to sleep for the first few weeks after the move. I was heart broken. And it's sad, because some of the people I was crying about missing...are now turning against me. MA was my home and my life for so long. And it seems like the life I took 21 years building up is falling apart in less than a year just because of the amazing opportunity I decided to take.
Honestly, I guess it shouldn't bother me that much. I could just disconnect from these people and not communicate. After all, they do live 1000 miles away now. It just makes me sad to see these people I was so close to and trusted...just letting me slip out of their life because of something so silly. In reality, I feel as though they should be happy for me. Because I'm happy for me. And I shouldn't be ashamed of being happy and enjoying my life.
I guess I'm just upset because so much has been changing for me in the past year, with the move and adjusting. I just don't want our friendships to change. But I suppose I should realize they ARE going to change because I'm NOT 1000 miles closer anymore. Plus I don't have any friends here in Kentucky, so that makes it even harder to see my older friends slipping away.
Longest ramble ever?
Opinions?
Last edited by leanmoomercows; 12-16-2007 at 12:21 AM.
So I was cruzing the topics and I saw this one! Which is great because its just what i needed! So here we go...this last week was my finals week and all **** seems to break loose. It was by far the smoothest final week thus far in my whole college career, but I still ate like crap. I was doing so well and then totally plop..off i went. I had panda *which is gross but easy to grab*, In & Out, pizza, etc. I ate all kinds of crap and I didn't even really want it but I couldn't really get to the grocery store and being at the library for hours on end it's easy. Im not looking for "oh you'll get back on path" or anything, i just needed to make myself accountable because it helps me. Tomorrow is a new day and im starting over, especially b/c school is over. this is something i really really do want and im still willing to try my hardest! I just wanted to unload and i feel better...its nice to unload and have people know what im talking about. I dont like tell someone food issues or weight issues when they dont really know what im talking about. Thanks!!
This is an amazing thread, honestly, so many people just need to sit and let it out, but don't have anyone to turn to.
Mine is with my relationship.....I have been questioning things lately. I don't know if because this week I had finals, I did not sleep for over 60+ hours, and I can't eat much because of my gallbladder (needs to come out). I just feel like he would rather I not be here....sometimes I think he is just insensitive to me and I don't know if it is me being touchy or not, but it hurts. I tell him and he's just like OK. So recently I got back in touch with an older friend of mine and we started talking and I found out that he's actually liked me for quite some time and wouldn't mind starting a relationship with me. I love my boyfriend, but things don't seem that great right now. Like I said I don't know if I was just being touchy this week....everything just seemed to get to me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm going to have to see what the strength of our relationship is this next month because he is going to be moving away for a job until I graduate. I don't know about anything anymore.
Ive been a sufferer of psoriasis since my best friend committed suicide 6 years ago, I gave up smoking 4months ago and i am embarking on a weight loss adventure, I am reasonably stress free considering, and yet i am COVERED in breakouts of it. The least stressful i have been in over a year and its the worst attack ive ever had.
My DH god bless him doesnt bat an eyelid and always showers me with compliments however trying to lead a healthier life and doing some self improvement is seriosuly getting me down. trying to be healthier seems to be making me feel a million times worse!!
Makes me mad how people like to judge, obviously according to the world.. if you are overweight you must be dirty, and obviously the psoriasis is because im dirty... yea fab logic there people!!
I wish people would get a blody clue for once and that the rash i have is a product of their attitudes and my fear of their comments and nasty remarks and my anxiety... NOT my personal hygeine which i would like to add... is impeccable.
Anyway, a few of my friends now are almost mad at me for what I've been given. They say I haven't earned it or that I don't deserve it. And that they'd give anything to have the things I have. I'm not ungrateful!! I appreciate everything incredibly and take nothing I have in my life for granted. I was appalled my friends would say that.
Opinions?
I would be appalled too! You have every right to be so upset, a break up from a life time friend would be heart breaking! I think as time goes on you will make new friends and how your old friends hurt you will not get to you as bad. Maybe you could join some community things to get things rollin, and meet new people?
I think one day your friend will realize how unfair they were to you and that you really did appreciate everything that has been handed to you. Since they read your 'blog' maybe you should write something about the pain of losing a friend, something that will let them know how bad you felt about the situation...you never know, that could inspire them to say sorry...
Im not looking for "oh you'll get back on path" or anything, i just needed to make myself accountable because it helps me.
I feel like we say this a lot to eachother just for comfort. I like that you are looking at it as tomorrow is a new day and you will be able to 'start over'! The last week or so I have been doing pretty good with the binging/night eating. In the morning I either come on here, read something about weighloss/health online, recheck my goals, and I've even set a new one. I felt this has done me greater good than going to bed motivated...because when I wake up is when the day starts so that's when I feel I need to motivate myself. I don't know if this will help you or not, but it's seems to have worked for me this past week!
So recently I got back in touch with an older friend of mine and we started talking and I found out that he's actually liked me for quite some time and wouldn't mind starting a relationship with me.
Even if you do break up with your current boyfriend after this time apart, I wouldn't want you to rush in to another relationship right away even if he is a long-time friend. I'm not much for offering advice on relationships, because I'm not so sure about mine right now, sorry. I do know that time apart is a big thing and maybe it will respark things, or cause him to realize he needs to communicate with you better than "ok"...LOL!
Ive been a sufferer of psoriasis since my best friend committed suicide 6 years ago, I gave up smoking 4months ago and i am embarking on a weight loss adventure, I am reasonably stress free considering, and yet i am COVERED in breakouts of it. The least stressful i have been in over a year and its the worst attack ive ever had.
My DH god bless him doesnt bat an eyelid and always showers me with compliments however trying to lead a healthier life and doing some self improvement is seriosuly getting me down. trying to be healthier seems to be making me feel a million times worse!!
Makes me mad how people like to judge, obviously according to the world.. if you are overweight you must be dirty, and obviously the psoriasis is because im dirty... yea fab logic there people!!
I wish people would get a blody clue for once and that the rash i have is a product of their attitudes and my fear of their comments and nasty remarks and my anxiety... NOT my personal hygeine which i would like to add... is impeccable.
Yayy! You quit smoking! That's one of my most favorite things to hear! The psoriasis must be hard to deal with, I have a friend who struggles with that and when he has flare-ups he is absolutely miserable! He always tells me he should have a flyer or something informational to hand out when he knows people are questioning his hygiene!
Unload Here!
! You have every right to be so upset, a break up from a life time friend would be heart breaking! I think as time goes on you will make new friends and how your old friends hurt you will not get to you as bad. Maybe you could join some community things to get things rollin, and meet new people? 
The psoriasis must be hard to deal with, I have a friend who struggles with that and when he has flare-ups he is absolutely miserable! He always tells me he should have a flyer or something informational to hand out when he knows people are questioning his hygiene!
