Welcome to The Beck DIET solution discussion group, support group, diet coach group concerning the book by Dr. Judith S. Beck:
The Beck DIET solution: train your brain to think like a thin person.
The Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).
There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if we learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach.
This is a place to discuss our daily efforts and, for some of us, serves as an on-line diet coach.
If you’ve arrived from a search engine, you’ve landed at the site of 3 fat chicks, a remarkable place for those interested in a healthy life style, including mindful eating, exercise, and weight loss. More about the site, including how to register so that you can post is at http://www.3fatchicks.com.
The book, The Beck Diet Solution, is available on Amazon through the 3FC store:http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionadie/detail/0848731735/104-4216363-1799918
Previous Beck threads on 3fatchicks.com:
November 2007 The Beck Diet Solution http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=126374
October 2007 The Beck Diet Solution http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=124433
September 2007 The Beck Diet Solution http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=121790
The Beck Diet Solution August 2007 http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119430
The Beck Diet Solution July 2007 http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=116556
The Beck Diet Solution - support group? [ May 2007] http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112274
12-01-2007, 07:58 AM
Well, it’s the start of day two of my weekend trip.
Eating on plan in the minivan was easy: lunch was my favorite peanut butter and banana sandwich on 100% whole wheat bread ends. Snacks were soy nuts, Gala Apple, Clementine, and baby carrots. Took three rest breaks where I got quick 5 minute walks to get feelings back into the legs – a good drive.
Dinner for the big family gathering was take home from a remarkable store named Wegmans, chosen by six adults in familiarial anarchy. There were more attractive, healthy, whole foods available than I’ve ever seen in my life. And the prices were better than at Whole Foods. Wish we had one near Boston, but their stores are only in New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Virginia and Maryland. Does anybody have access to one of these regularly?
We had rotisserie chicken (garlic and lemon) plus veggies, veggies, veggies: roasted autumn vegetables (that included Delicata squash), cold butternut squash with spinach and craisins, spicy green beans, BIG mixed green salad with craisins and mushrooms, an Asian stir fry broccoli mushroom combo, cold buckwheat salad, mixed fruit with very fresh pineapple, watermelon, and strawberries. Eating on plan was easy.
My big challenge comes in an hour when the hotel hot breakfast bar opens. Please point some diet coach glares in my direction. Just because it’s FREE, doesn’t mean I have to eat it. Beck would have me pull out my personal Response Card:Eating FREE food gave me beat-the-system joy as a child. My adult joy is making the system work. I’m a doofus when I forget the difference.
Sue (CoastalSue) – Sending healing vibes to your back and your cold. I like your idea of sending your DH to the hotel buffet to bring back only acceptable food. When we’re all super rich from the CoastalSue Diet Spray, we can have our butlers do that.
Readers - May your day include a vegetable that you’ve never had before.
billblueEyes-thanks for starting the new thread. You always do great job explaining the site and making easy for others to join.
Well the natural nose spray is working well for appetite supression-plus being rather nauseated with the pain killers. so now am down 7 lb for this week. I know that some may return but still it is a positive side to feeling so punk.
I am aware how important the senses play for me in overeating. I have such a sensory approach to eating-I am pondering how to best cope with this response when feeling better. Right now it is great that food has almost no pull for me-Low fat soups have been the best. I need more answers and more approaches once I am better.
Still really pondering emotional eating. Emotionally maybe I made the connection if it taste soo good, then I will be in a good mood coupled with some food i.e. chocolate-biological release some feel good hormones in the brain. I think it is great that the Oh Well works so well for you. For me Oh well is a type of repression and like Freud said "the return of the repression" At home the dieting feel natural and easy- but in group or about in the community-I get an Oh'boy it is time to have fun. But why why does food mean having fun?? Somehow I need more tools than Beck's checklist to fight the mindlessness when out and about. Or maybe just a better handle in catcing and fight the sabotaging thoughts that lead to mindlessness eating.
Your family gathering sounds like it's working well. How great to do tasty healthy food to go. My Dh just helped me make a simple low fat soup today and together it took over an hours of prep-would love some take out like your meal. all sounded yummy-plus great you all shared the same interest in a meal. My family goes for the chain store premade very caloric dishes and desserts. -Likely much cheaper just not the same nutritional value.
12-02-2007, 08:22 AM
Start of the last day. Family visiting has been great. The common disasters of family gatherings have been avoided, the special moments have been many. The toddlers adorable beyond belief.
Great news for me. Eating at the FREE hot breakfast buffer was better than my adjusted plan. It was about my normal breakfast plus one (as in ONLY one) sausage patty. The industrial scrambled eggs were OK with some yummy salsa. The big deal for me was what I turned down. I took NO: cooked on the spot waffles, stack of sugary pastries, bagels, English muffins, blue berry muffins, extra sausages, hash brown potatoes, French toast, granola, etc.
The family event eating has been more on plan than I expected, although I feel silly because of the amount of time and energy I put into it in advance, and even in writing about it here. My behavior was what I wanted, but I want it to be easier. In Beck terms:
Sabotaging Thought: Mindful eating should be easy and intuitive; I look foolish making such a big deal of this
Helpful Response: Someday it may be, but you're in transition to there. You wouldn't judge others as foolish as they made this transition; you can cut yourself some slack also.
To complete the TMI bitter detail: At lunch yesterday, a plate of home made Christmas cookies was passed, all looking and smelling yummy, but the stand out were the oatmeal raisin cookies, my favorite. I said no the first round, not on my plan, easy to turn down since I don't eat dessert with lunch. I said no the second round, even though home made, I'm satisfied full. Beginning to falter on the third round, until I finally recognized that I was in a moment that I would do well to pull out some Beck strategies, even as I acknowledged that one d*mn cookie wouldn't break my calorie load for the day. But, I didn't want to eat it just because it appeared as a surprise. So, I pulled out my mental NO CHOICE card and killed the idea. Also pulled out my "you'll have to report this to your on-line diet coach since you've turned it into a crisis." I've converted one home made oatmeal raisin cookie into the Cuban Missile Crisis. Anyway, thanks for listening.
I used the full gym across the street from the motel; got in a regular weight session. CREDIT moi. Walking was light, Oh Well.
Sue (CoastalSue) – WOW to 7 pounds lost. Even if some is temporary water loss, it's a great inspiration.
Gotta figure this one out for me also:...but in group or about in the community-I get an Oh'boy it is time to have fun. But why why does food mean having fun??As you can read above, I need your help here.
Readers - May you have the opportunity today to turn down one item that's off your plan, and then turn it down.
What a successful trip. It worked in all the areas-Fun, Family and Food. You were amazing in dealing with old food traps!! All that free food-you made healthy planned choices-You won over years of habits of which encouraged to eat this "free" but rather crummy foods at the hotel. We have had years of ads telling us how wonderful these sugarly white flour food can make us feel-Now they are finded some folks actually are more addicted to sugar than others, then add years of emotional reasons for eat these "feel Good"treats + the food was free-You kept to your Plan HURRAH That is Powerful Stuff
and it even gets better-3X you were given and encourage to eat some cookies-Your favorite type plus these were tasty homemade ones and you kept your personal goal of not eating off plan. I am in awe of your approach and success.
This is hard work-Overeaters can not completely remove the substance of their addiction and/or "weakness" from their life. People can forgo tobacco and alcohol and still live yet overeaters can not stop eating food. Thus some feel this adds to the failure rate of people maintaining weight loss. I post to show respect for your choices and why this is not an easy change but such a powerful process you are being successful at.
One of the advertising myths is that dieting is so easy-just spend your money, buy this book, drug, exercise material, find your right blood type ect-then add the morality of just stop being a pig, have some will power ect. Plus then I add that I know I am a smart, educated, self desciplined woman who understand intellectually how bad some foods are and still eat them when present or when I feel bad. So now I can feel so stupid when I fall in to old food traps-I spend much more time beating myself up for mistakes than celebrating and giving myself credit for positive food change. I am so glad you posted your success and know you should be giving yourself a HUGH amount of credit.
Your successes are making me ponder on why I could not have passed up on one cookie-I would have done the mind game of reducing the cals off the evening meal so my total would have been ok. Ah the draw of the sugar for me.
Finally feeling better and able to do some chores about the place. I am forcing myself to underwork because last Thursday i did too much and really re-injuried the sore muscles. I still have this annoying cold which effects my taste and smell. I am down 6lbs from my last posting of weight loss, but will hold off for a week or so in case I regain when eating normal again. I am really noticing the taste of chemicals in food. We got some processed meats as I wasn't up to cooking and hated them, in the past I would eat sugarfree puddings-hated those now, A BBQ grocerystore chicken seems salted loaded.
Thanks for sharing your thought
To everyone else-keep posting-changing our core food habits takes alot of alertness which our sabotaging thoughts keeps us dull to.
12-02-2007, 10:30 PM
YOu are both awesome! BillBlue, good for you. I would have succumbed to the cookie; I know it. There is nothing in me yet that could resist it.
Sue, great on the pounds gone, and I think, even bigger, is the new awareness about the junk/chemicals in food. I know you will like the Omnivore's Dilemma when you get it. The other book that can really fire you up about the food industry is Fast Food Nation.
I have been on plan for two days both eating and exercising. Nothing like trying to walk in 10 inches of snow and shoveling said same. We are still snowed in......as I said, it's gonna be a lonnngggg winter!:rolleyes::rolleyes:
12-03-2007, 06:36 AM
Light snow on the ground this morning.
Survived my second FREE breakfast as I did the first. I'm really pleased. There were small pancakes instead of French toast strips. I had one with yogurt instead of syrup - that worked, so I was able to avoid the sugar hit of syrup. Again ONE sausage patty. CREDIT moi.
For dinner at home last night DW prepared Spaghetti Squash with meatless Mariano sauce, and her Kale, Swiss chard combo with feta cheese. It's so easy to eat right at home with familiar food. And I have leftovers for lunches this week.
Ann (Newlifestyle) - I like to be reminded of your quote: I have to remember that I can modify my diet in advance to have small portions of whatever I want from time to time.so I don't have to overdo it today. because it reminds me that it isn't WHAT I plan to mindfully eat that's so important but that I plan to MINDFULLY eat.
Most recent thought is you getting ready to start your diet tomorrow. Are you immersed in your diet by now? Hope all is well.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Glad to hear that your back is enough available that you're getting about. Be kind to it.
Thanks for your good thoughts about my Cuban Missile Crisis Cookie (CMCC). I, too, am like this: I spend much more time beating myself up for mistakes than celebrating and giving myself credit for positive food change. In many places in my life I don't allow an arbitrary intrusion to change my plans - e.g. a vacuum cleaner salesman at the door doesn't replace the time I was spending with my kids. But with food, I act like a cookie showing up at my door in a mandate; all previous plans are canceled; the cookie is here.
MaryBlu - Congrats for two days on plan. Walking in 10 inches of snow sounds like a challenge. Do you have access to an indoor walking place like a mall or a gym nearby? Are Minnesota winters really harsh, or is that just east coast propaganda?
Readers - Winter offers the opportunity to try new recipes using winter squash and sweet potatoes.
Hello to all. I am totally new here and to 3FatChicks. Of all the forums I have previewed this one looks like a good fit as I know weight control starts with engaging the brain. I really enjoyed and identified with the oatmeal raisin cookie struggle--and I say "enjoyed" because I've been there and thought that. Just in case anyone wonders why I call myself SuchAtwin: I am a twin, girl with a brother, who wonders if my attraction to comfort comes from an empty place inside myself (never a whole but always a part) that I try to complete with sugary doughnuts, margaritas and chips, cherry pie and a cup of coffee. Anyway, I am looking for a place to be made whole--a whole lot smaller body and a complete person.
12-03-2007, 01:37 PM
MaryBlu-brrr10 inches-that alot of shoveling. been hearing about the snows across the Midwest and now in New England. I remember snow still on the ground on my June birthday when growing up in Northern Mn. Ca. has turned me into a weather weakling. People really whine here when it gets down to the 40's and if rains too many day in a row.
BillBlueEyes-still thinking about being offered unexpected free delicious caloric food-i.e. cookies. I was checking my response and I get the same sense of delight as when I find an easy nearby parking space opens up in San Francisco( We can spend 20 minutes looking and be over an mile away)-What a Treat., Am I lucky today!!, OH Boy, Oh Boy-The gods are looking out for me, Sort of a magical reward from the heavens. This sort of luck can really lighten my mood. -Now how can I turn that gift down? That is a serious question for me. This attitude that a unplanned cookie can be unexpected simple joyful reward is very ingrained and sabotages my food plan in a nono second.
The positive steps that I have taken: 1. Be more evaluating of the quality(not the calories-thus home baked harder to turn down 2. Stop at one. 3. Deduct the cals from the days total.
My next step is feel all those times which unexpected food is offered and the sense of treat I get and how"luckly" I am to be offered. Right now it feels like I am driving away from the easy parking space-whats wrong are you nuts? Look forward when I can look at food and not also deal with so many other emotions pulled in on the situation. The thought that a thin person could turn down something just because they were full seems almost magical to me.-trying to get there.
Anyway maybe this is all just mindless wandering-but am trying to get a handle on social overeating. Like you, home is where it is easy to stay on the food plan. Even have the plan for resturants -posted here- is to ask for a take home container and put half of the meal in at first. But gatherings are still the hardest for me.( I suppose bring my own take home cartons were be tacky) -tis the season coming up.
ps still down 6 lbs. yes
12-03-2007, 03:29 PM
:welcome: to 3FC and :welcome: to the Beck thread.
< and welcome to the oatmeal raisin cookie struggle discussion, LOL >
You're right in sync with Beck in believing the weight loss begins with the brain. Interesting thoughts about feeling for "completing" that lend themselves to over eating - you're way ahead in already working out some of the thinking that, in one of Beck's exercises, you ask yourself if it is completely correct and further what other interpretations might be possible.
So, you're on your way.
Where are you in your journey? Have you started reading the Beck Diet Solution yet?
Thanks for the welcome Bill. I am currently just chasing my tail in that I have not found the will to choose to commit to any weight loss program just yet. I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers which I achieved 28 years ago. Over a lifetime of hurtles and excuses I now stand at 5'3" and 252lbs. My health is becoming enough of a concern that I have decided to start somewhere and that is here. I saw the Beck Diet Solution discussed on Oprah, I think, and I looked at the book in the book store once but having purchased other motivational tools which I did not utilize I passed on the purchase. Now that I see what you all are up to I will re-evalute and look into buying it.
12-04-2007, 06:34 AM
Managed to squeeze in a walk at lunch yesterday, otherwise little exercise other than the minor shoveling of both cars and sidewalks. Pavement was icy by evening, giving the thin layer of snow the appearance of being here for the duration. We were caught with some leaves still on the ground needing the last raking. Oh Well.
Ate on plan including my regular monthly potluck dinner evening meeting, where I turned down purchased cookies with no difficulty. The thought of the Cuban Missile Crisis Cookie is still fresh in my brain and will serve to ward off the easy choices, like packaged cookies, even if Danish tea cookies and sugar cookies. I actually wrote NO CHOICE in my notes just to be sure. It was particularly useful (i.e "strengthened my resistance muscle") to turn them down since I could see and smell them as they sat on the small working table all evening and were periodically passed around. I couldn't help but noticing that three people at the meeting, who had privately told me that they were trying to lose weight, had a cookie each time the tin passed. Good reminder that sugar is powerful.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Thank you for so creatively capturing the power of an unplanned cookie: ... an unplanned cookie can be an unexpected simple joyful reward, is very ingrained, and sabotages my food plan in a nano second.Yep, I recognize that cookie. And I really like the pain of rejecting such a gift from the gods: It feels like I am driving away from the easy parking space-whats wrong are you nuts?You capture the magnitude of the unplanned cookie. If Beck had a program-day where, instead of skipping lunch one day to work our hunger issue, we were to pass up a San Francisco parking space, I wouldn't be able to do it. I hope you keep pounding on this topic until some of it's magic is broken.
SuchAtwin - Congratulations for achieving lifetime weight watchers status. Don't you have to reach WW Goal weight or something to get that? Do you get to attend WW for free for life after that?
The discussion of buying the book vs. the workbook vs. both occurred earlier in the November thread. I'm happy with the book because I do my Beck lists, exercise journaling and food journaling in an Excel spreadsheet. Others were happy with the workbook, presumably because it's easier to write in than the hardback book. I do recommend reading the book, even if from the library. The synopses in these threads necessarily leave out much discussion and motivational material.
Readers - Cold weather invites hot soup. Hot soup satisfies the stomach and the soul.
Big Welcome to SuchATwin-this forum along with the book has been so helpful for me to change my eating habit. The book has a short series of lessons which is programed to run 6 weeks-I end up with both the book and the workbook. The book alone is fine, but I like the pre-done worksheets-yep I am a bit lazy. I really understand that sense of chasing your tail looking for your will to lose. Beck's exercises build are a good foundation for a couple of weeks before you even start dieting. For example one of the first exercises is to write down all the reasons why you want to lose weight and read this card often each day. Maybe I wasn't ready to diet but at least I could write the list out. It was the first step. I still read that the card-It continues to be a gently reminder to eat heathly. Hope you hang out with us and post your thoughts even if you don't have the book yet. The core idea is to eat what you have planned for the day and to learn to minimize all of the other emotional, social and sensory factors which may cause one to overeat. I am on my 6th month of this 6 week program. I have lost very slowly but continuously- no yoyo dieting. I am gaining a sense of success and I will lose the remaining 150 lbs or so.
BillBlueEyes-the cold and exercising is a tough one. Love the look of a gentle white snow, hate the icy walking!!. I have order a extra large "wet suit" type of top so I can continue water aerobic during the foggy low 50's in an out door pool. The water is about 82 but I do get so chilled about my shoulders. I don't think my back is ready for me swimming strokes for 45 minutes quite yet.
I actually remember watching tv alone-my folks were out of town for a couple of days-feeling absolute terror about the Cuban Missile Crisis-the show down as our ship neared Cuba and what was Russia going to do. Apart from that terrifying time and the sadness of his death, I do remember the much of the Kenndy era foundly.
Thanks for reading my cookie thesis-your cookie posting really got me going about my whys I couldn't turn down the homemade cookies if I liked them- Just looking at how powerful the draw is a help to break the cookie "magic" , I am hopeful and am working on just getting an image of a free parking spot and asking my self is this really where I want to park my body right now when offered unexpected food. It is parking place but I'll end up with sugar in the gas tank. Any thing to stop the mindlessness.
Also aware of the increditable role of food as a reward and the need to increase my own ability to give my self postive nonfood rewards-particuliar internal acknowledge of my own successes.
MaryBlu-still snow bound?
12-05-2007, 12:28 AM
Hi, all, welcome, welcome, SAT.......may I call you that?? lol.
I SOOO appreciate a forum where people actually remember the Cuban Missile Crisis...I really do.........this is such an aside.........but when I was searching for my SO online, I was looking for someone younger than I, because I am not my age in any sense........especially not in attitude....but my criteria, after being open-minded and well-informed, was someone who remembered where he was when Pres. Kennedy was killed. I was in the 4th grade, and I remember it still. So, I figure anyone more than about 4 yrs. younger than I would not remember......and it was a very real consideration. The man who found me...lol......is way smart, and remembers everything! Not to worry.
BillBlue, say more about the kale/swiss chard dish.....how does DW do that? Let us know, please, and you do know how lucky you are to have a healthy cook in the house, I know!
I appreciate you all!
12-05-2007, 01:54 AM
Thanks for the welcome everyone! Such a day I had today. I met with an old friend for lunch and shopping. It was a cool beautiful day here in Houston and we enjoyed our companionship, exercise, and I must say the wonderful Italian Cream cake and coffee for dessert. Ah, I need the book as I know my reason for giving myself permission to eat that must be in there. And then, my husband came home from the doctor to say he needs more tests as he may have a blood clot in his leg. Oh the stress. This is on top of my Autistic son calling to tell me his latest angst and the 8 month looking no buying real estate customer saying she wants to look at more foreclosures tomorrow. I want beer and more cake yet I resist. I am ready to push myself past the "it could have been worse" mentality (as in I was bad but I could have been badder) to a "I would not even think of eating that" one. Whew, I guess I needed to spew. Bill,to answer the WW question, yes I had to reach a goal and maintain it and now only must pay for meetings I choose to attend if I am more than 2lbs over goal. I would be paying a long time. I will get myself the materials to begin my self-shrink session ASAP. I congradulate you all for the strength to examine and heal thyselves. Oh, Maryblu, SAT is a bad handle for me as in someone might put "She SAT and got FAT" on my gravestone someday if I don't change my habits. My real estate moniker is Kitt. You may call me that if you like. The reason I chose SuchAtwin is strickly as a reminder to myself of my need to let go...of so many things.
12-05-2007, 06:32 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store) http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionadie/detail/0848731735/104-4216363-1799918
To solve a problem, you first have to define it. Sometimes, this is easy. Perhaps your boss put a lot of pressure on you, you bounced a check, or someone made a negative comment about you. Sometime, the problem isn’t so easy to pinpoint. You might notice the emotion but not feel sure what led to it. Consider asking a friend or you diet coach to help you sort things through.
Once you’ve defined the problem, be sure to identify the negative thoughts running through your mind. Then use the Seven Questions Technique to respond to your negative thoughts. The Seven Question Technique
1. What kind of thinking error could I be making?
2. What evidence is there that this thought might not be true (or be completely true)?
3. Is there an alternative explanation or another way of viewing this?
4. What is the most realistic outcome of this situation?
5. What is the effect of my believing this thought and what could be the effect of changing my thinking?
6. What would I tell [a close friend or family member] if he/she were in this situation and had this thought?
7. What should I do now?
Once you recognize that food won’t make your problems go away, dieting will be easier.
When I respond to feelings with food, I often haven’t identified either the feeling or its source. The big step for me is to acknowledge the existence of both and then to name them.
For example, a college rewrote a sentence I was about to send to our customer. I was pleased with the rewrite – it was just what I wished I had written. I remained pleased even when I then saw that my sentence a) was grammatically incorrect, b) was negative in tone, and c) would be interpreted in the opposite way than I had intended. However, when they added the comment, “You know, a sentence should have a purpose,” my feeling pleased evaporated and I absorbed a negative feeling as if their patronizing style affected my reality. And a Hersey’s chocolate bar with almonds is the first antidote I apply to a negative feeling at the office without seeking a second medical opinion.
The benefit to me of Beck’s strategy of asking why I’m about to eat is that I am forced to acknowledge the negative feeling. In my example above, I removed the negative feeling with the thought, “Good man, even though he flunked his Dale Carnegie course,” and the need to eat evaporated as well.
Naturally, the bazillion vending machine purchases that contributed to my weight were made without attempting to identify the feeling or its source.
My replacement pedometer arrived yesterday. After nearly two years of wearing an accurate pedometer every day, I feel incomplete without it. I had a give-away substitute, but it had the reset button exposed facing outward. Every time I put on a coat or bumped it, the step count would reset to zero. So, my recording each day was an estimate based on similar walking days from the past. This new pedometer will increase my motivation when the walking is icy.
The Christmas cookies that are beginning to appear everywhere are keeping their distance from me, as well they should. By now, I have a reputation among the cookies. I have a mental image of the Adlai Stevenson in me standing before the United Nations "I am prepared to wait for my answer until **** freezes over, if that’s your decision." and watching my Cuban Missile Crisis Cookie blink.
I wonder what thin people do with all the extra time available in their brains if they aren't having thoughts such as these.
Sue (CoastalSue) - My kids insist that if I ever found a parking spot in Boston I'd pull right in, even if I was just passing through. Perhaps, but I am sure that I'm drawn to hard to find parking spots with the same feelings I have toward my CMC cookie.
With ice on the ground outside, it's hard for me to imagine you swimming in an outdoor pool, even with your wet suit top.
MaryBlu - Yes, I remember where I was when I heard that JFK was assassinated. And I still have JFK's response to me when I wrote him a letter of support during the Cuban Missile Crisis, even though I now know that his signature was mechanically applied - not a true JFK signature. But, it's a neat card anyway.
I'll get DW's Kale and Swiss Chard recipe and post it. Her healthy and fresh cooking has surely helped keep me on track.
SuchAtwin - Ouch, such a list of emotions worthy of eating to make them go away. I wish your DH well with his leg clot, I can understand the stress you would feel over that. And good luck to your DS with his angst causing situation.
Congratulations for taking the time to identify your feeling so you are able to distinguish then from hunger. You're well on your way to being a Beck person.
Re: Ann (Newlifestyle) - Ann has to take a break from 3FC to tend to her life, but says she remains on plan using Beck and will be back.
Re: Liannie - Liannie sends her regards to all her friends on 3FC. She has been taking care of her life, but says she will be back.
Readers - It isn't hunger if the need to eat is in response to a feeling. May you have success today identifying when the urge to eat isn't hunger.
Bill:You made my day with the comment about your thought response to your co-worker:dizzy:. Failing the Dale Carnagie course will be my forever negative selftalk defense against know it alls. I am still laughing. I may put that one on a card and laminate it. There are so-o-o many know it alls in my business plus my family tends to breed them. Sigh, at times, I must confess, I would not please Dale. Just found out DH does have a small superficial blood clot in his leg which could be related to a number of his health issues. We are grateful it is not an emergency and is just something to watch. DS frequently has angst which is a challenge for us all. Without angst wouldn't life be dull.
Maryblue: I've been reading past posts and just want to say that I hope you have recovered from losing your tree. That would be difficult.
To all: I am so grateful to have found you all. Your intellegent conversations provide me with inspiration and entertainment which I needed more of in my life.
12-05-2007, 10:09 PM
Well I am back in the work book doing lesson 9-scheduling my day to insure some exercising. These 7 week of a cold and/or sinsus infection then the bum back has totally undermined my both my abilities and determination to do daily workouts. I have tried the gym 2 times in the past, but had to quit each time due to joint problems-arthritis and bursitis. Swimming is perfect, but a hugh hassle with the weather and if I have an infection. So I am committing to my diet coaches here, that I will do some types of "sit and be fit" dvd for 1/2 hours on Thursday, Friday. I also want to walk around our bluff for 5 minutes a day if no rain-I do need a walker,but I still am moving. I do use blood pressure medication, but I can not get my pluse rate up doing the sit and be fit tapes-I feel discouraged that I can not get in aerobic range. With all the joint support in water, I can really push myself.
How do you all handle changes in your daily food plan-I do fine until dinner-had 2 meetings today and just arrive home at 5:30 with about an hours of prep time in front of me for the dinner that I had planned. so I am subsituting an easier but low cal pizza. -Credit tho-I only drank water while many yummy food options were around me. That was good!
I like the steps for dealing with negative emotions-What are your signals to start evaluate the feeling with logic and stop going into the down ward negative response either with yourself or with others? What is your success rate?. I think I am about 25% able to feel that pain in my stomach- a sense of Oh my god-I have done something wrong. Often I think in go right into a food want and then become preoccupied with should or should not eat something and skip the internal evaluation of feelings. Still kind of missing the skill of acknowledging and resolving my own feelings, but getting a vague the eating isn't going to solve anything. But more energy is spend in the wrestling the food desire than the resolving the negative feelings.
SuchATwin-glad your DH blood clot is not currently super serious. Your home life sounds very busy!
Liannie and Ann-look forward to your return and hearing about what is up.
12-06-2007, 06:46 AM
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store) http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionadie/detail/0848731735/104-4216363-1799918
After you weigh yourself, calculate the change in your weight, place a dot on the weight-loss graph, and connect the dots. Contact your diet coach to tell him or her how much your weight changed. If you’ve lost a half pound or more, great! If you haven’t, don’t get discouraged. Just remember to review your eating plan with your diet coach if it turns out that you’ve stayed the same weight or gained weight for two weeks in a row.
Sabotaging Thought: I know it’s reasonable to have lost only a half pound this week, but I’m still disappointed.
Helpful Response: My weight is going down. That’s good! It means that what I’ve been doing is working. I should celebrate each and every half-pound weight loss. If I hope for something unrealistic, I’ll be disappointed. I’m going in the right direction. That’s what counts. I really deserve a lot of credit for using the mindset and behavioral techniques I’ve learned and for weighing less than I did when I started this program.
Once I develop realistic expectations for weight loss, dieting will be easier.
The lazy part of me likes this Program-day because it’s an easy one for me. I track my weekly weight (Sunday) as well as my daily weight using an automatic graph in Excel. The daily graph has enough jitter that upticks of a few pounds do not disappoint me because I can see that they’ve always come back down. Likewise, I don’t get prematurely enthusiastic about downticks of a few pounds – that’s not uncommon for me and they are only passing spikes in the data. Since my loss has stopped and I’ve declared that I’m on maintenance, while I remain on plan real changes take weeks to appear.
Kale, Swiss Chard, Collard Greens, Onions, and Feta Cheese
1 Medium Onion
1 Bunch Collards, Swiss Chard, and/or Kale
1 Tbsp Cooking Oil
1 Oz. Feta Cheese
Pepper to tasteRemove tough stems from a bunch of kale, collard greens, or kale or a mixture. Wash, shake dry, chop into approximately 2-inch squares.
In a cast-iron pot with a lid, sauté a medium onion over medium-high heat in 1 Tbsp. vegetable oil until translucent.
Add the cut up greens and, over high heat, mix with the onions until the greens begin to wilt.
Add about 1/2 cup of water, and some black pepper, bring to a boil, then lower heat and simmer covered for 30-45 minutes. Check to be sure water doesn't all evaporate.
Just before serving add 1-2 ounces of crumbled or finely cut-up feta cheese. Replace lid and wait a few minutes for cheese to melt. Add more pepper if desired.
Any leftovers taste really good warmed for a few minutes in a microwave.
Eating on plan yesterday included Vegetable Curry over basmati rice from a small Indian take out place that I passed on my lunchtime walk to Trader Joe's. So yummy, and it was enough that I saved half for my lunch today. I'm already thinking about it.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Taking note of your commitment to do: "sit and be fit" dvd for 1/2 hours on Thursday, Friday. Let us know how you do.
I admire that you stand down all your itis'es to continue to exercise. You seem pretty clear in your determination.
Tell us more about your "bluff" where you walk. Are you near the Pacific?
Congrats on standing down all the "yummy food options." You know that I can find that difficult. I don't have a particular strategy for unexpected changes in my food plan; it's just wing it each time. Hope others have some thoughts here.
You're onto a big question for me; how to switch from eating to evaluating that I'm responding to an emotion. During the first 6-18 months of my journey, I did the equivalent of Beck's NO CHOICE, so I avoided the problem. Since I've been on maintenance with opened rules, I've exposed myself to the possibility of emotional eating, and thus, the need to try to catch it. I don't have a useful thought this morning, but I want to reread your comments and then continue this discussion; I could use an early warning system that I'm on the slippery slope.
MaryBlu - The Swiss Chard recipe is posted above. Enjoy. I love the stuff. Alas, the series of nights of very cold means that our garden crop is done for the year. We'll continue to buy it; it will taste about the same but emotionally isn't the same as home grown.
SuchAtwin - LOL at: I must confess, I would not please Dale.
Sorry that your DH clot is confirmed, glad it's not an emergency type.
Readers - May your weigh in be pleasing this week, and, if not pleasing, may you have someone to talk to about what changes you might plan for next week.
I did my 30 minutes of exercise-did a gentle but needed dvd of yoga -really needed the stretches after all the rest for the back. It felt great. I don't know of the back muscles are ready to do weights quite yet. I am vey eager to get my new swim jacket. I hope it works-The one thing I hate about mail order is not to get my hands on it first- thanks for the acknowledge that I continue to exercise-I then gave myself credit also.
I post my weigh loss on FitDay-it is nice the see the graph with the downward lines. I have such a big loss with illness now I am just maintaining it even though I have been dieting. A big step for me is than I have cut out all alcohol-Just a step to remain more focused on healthy eating. Chard sounds yummy!!
The bluff-yes we are very close to the Pacific ocean. We see waves crash over a hugh rock from our front window. There is a serenity to were we live-rather isolated and far from common services-but we love the community and amazing people live around us and there is a very thriving art and intelluctual commuity all about. PS really miss Curry food and TJ"S-it is an 4 hr round trip to see such places. But a very well know buddhist monk from San Francisco is coming up and giving a one day retreat on Sat. here so there are other treats.
Hello to all
12-07-2007, 06:43 AM
Ate on plan yesterday: Went to work already thinking about the second half of my vegetable curry, LOL. DW made dal and nan (lentils and Indian bread) for dinner with California Navel Orange for snack. I don't know what we'd do if California didn't feed us. Sending gratitude toward the growers of California who are the only thing saving me from root vegetables for evening snack.
I'm still working on Program-day 36 - Believe It; not ready to post its completion yet. This one requires documenting a recap of all we've learned on the Beck plan to date. I want to give the process sufficient time to feel what I'm writing. I have a near infinite capacity to minimize positive steps I've taken with the
Sabotaging Thought: I should have known this stuff years ago.
Helpful Response: Giving myself credit now is a major part of accepting me, rather than focusing on an ideal me.
To complete the change to a healthy life style, I have to accept all parts of me before, including the thinking errors that supported my bad eating habits and couch potato'ing. I really want to live a healthy lifestyle without effort, as in I lost the weight, so let's coast for the rest of my life. It was a most useful thought from Beck that all thin people think about what they eat (acknowledging the few exceptions).
Sue (CoastalSue) - Congrats on doing your yoga DVD. Hope your back continues to improve.
And congrats on taking the extra healthy eating step of cutting out the alcohol. You have your Advantages Card to help you keep on that plan during your social adventures.
And continued congratulations on your maintained weight loss. Your location sounds ideal. I love living in the city for its obvious benefits. And every time I visit my friends in the suburbs and beyond, I enjoy experiencing those benefits. I dream of having a small flat in London, one in Paris, a shack on an island off Greece, a place in St. John's, a condo in Colorado, and a few other places. DW reminds me that I can go to all those places and use the hotels. She's right, of course, but I have no reason to change my dream.
Readers - May your day include a spontaneous exercise that brings you delight.
BillBlueeyes-your posting had me reveiw chapter 36-what have I really consistently been successful with. 1. have a foundation of very nutrious diet plan.- not perfect but really have strong sense of have hughly increased amounts of veggies and fruit, reduced sugar and fats and white flour foods-elminated most processed foods. Big step and generally stay within 1500 cals daily and really understand why i want to lose the weight.
Inspite of being 90-95% on program-that 5-10% slows my weight loss-I am not doing yoyo scales but sabotaging a more steady quickier weight loss.
The culprit behaviors to work on
1. Deal with triggers in social settings.
2. Identify and counteract my sabotaging thoughts.
3. Truly respecting and giving my self credit-tend to focus on the unaccomplished goals versus the successes.
4. Coping with emotional (negative and celebrating feelings) moments.
5. Combating sensory imput of foods-i.e Yesterday went to this absolute great small bakery-(truly increditable selection and quality of treats) because they a great selection of wonderful children toys-I got the things for the grandkids-never got a bake good but the craving and desire to get some "something delicious" is still lingering with me -only slowly lessening. But even as I did chores today about the community today at each location a food thought came up about what I could get a each place-candy bar, See's candy, sweet roll, a cookie ect. I did not get that but I did eat some white bread toast with breakfast. Just have not complete master no choice-I really wish had not even eaten the toast. Guess I am still making health sacrfices to craving gods-they still seem relentless in demand their due. Really admire your master of so many step.
Look forward toward your list. I really understand about expecting this to be easier-again thanks for continue to posting so I can share all the drama this is for me to work thru. Having heard advice, criticism, ridicule, pity and disgust regarding my eating habits all my life-even gone to therapy-honestly this has been most help to work the Beck concepts with some of the feed back and support from here.
Where to live-I have this dream of network of shared homes about the place.-I love it here, also San Francisco, Santa Fe NM. New Orleans prior to the floods-(lots of fun music and food there) Some warm beach like area. I have spent almost no time back east-would like to see Boston and other New England areas. Haven't traveled to Europe yet. It is part of my goal to increase my mobility to enjoy walking some about come European cities.
Appreciate each step taken to change unhealthy habits-it an't easy.
12-08-2007, 10:06 AM
Today is a day for running many errands. A small local store has some nice scarves on display - soft, long, tasseled ends, attractive colors and patterns; thinking of getting them for the three women on my list.
Still working on my Program-day 36 stuff, Believe It; it's important to me to get clear about what I believe I've learned from this Beck stuff that I'm going to use every day. I know it seems like dawdling and that Beck might say "Just DO IT," but some of her strategies are easy for me (e.g. eat sitting down) and some are hard (e.g. Identify Sabotaging Thoughts and create Helpful Responses.)
Ate on plan yesterday, during all my planned eating times, but do have a situation for which I request some help. When shopping at Whole Foods for some healthy soy nuts for snacks, I ate FREE samples of:
o navel orange,
o shrimp bisque,
o curry pumpkin seeds (turned down 3 other flavors),
o French cheese with pepper jelly on a cracker,
o French cheese with apricot jelly on a cracker,
o vegetarian liver pate on hard stick bread,
o rice pilaf with peas, orzo, and mushrooms,
o spinach hummus on whole wheat,
o lemon hummus on whole wheat,
o raspberry spritzer (turned down 3 other flavors),
o black olive,
o green olive.
Does anybody see a problem here? Any suggestions?
Sue (CoastalSue) - What a thoughtful response for your Believe It day. Good stuff here for me to ponder.
When I get me list together, this will certainly be on it:2. Identify and counteract my sabotaging thoughts.
Congrats on your walk about without giving in to all the food thoughts. It's just amazing how often food thoughts are on my brain. Do thin people think of food all the time? I wonder what thin people are thinking tonight?
Readers - May you make wise choices when offered food today.
Just a short note prior to leaving on the one day meditation retreat. Plus tonight we have company so may not be able to write more later, What the heck to those thin think.!!! My husband also went to the bakery with the other day with me. He didn't even think about getting a treat for this lame reason-he felt full. Really what do that have to do with wanting treats. He was amazed about how much the treat and lusting after the treat for hours was in my mind. I think even see food for me is like how some folks react to porno-just seeing it gets them excited. Anyway-more later-company just arrived
12-08-2007, 02:00 PM
I have just recently starting reading the Beck Diet Solution. I am going to be honest and say that once I began reading how she writes the book, it did turn me off. To me, it seemed like she was being very flippant about a lot of the "meat and potatoes" about her topic. I don't like her writing style. She says "well, I can eat anything I want" but then goes on to say "however, it seems like I want to eat healthy foods." Well, there was a lot of transitions to get to that point that I don't see her discussing. I think, in that way the book fails for me. I have been working OA for 12 years and you don't wake up one day and say I think I will have start eating healthy today. It doesn't work for the majority of people that way. It may work for a few but a rare few.
The one thing I think it does address is how to put in place a lot of behavior modification skills that do work. I had learned them from other places but it is nice that it is all in one book. As I mentioned in some recent posts of mine, I avoided food-centered parties because I was terrified of "getting lost" in all of the food choices. This past weekend I went to a Christmas party, my first in decades, where I ate a truly normal portioned meal, had three cookies for dessert and finished the meal with a can of diet soda. I felt so at peace with the whole situation and I said to my DH last night, "Wow, I enjoyed myself at that party!"
I want to be open to everything this site and all of the great books everyone here is willing to comment on and share. I have gained INVALUABLE insights into myself by listening to what all of you have to say. The 12 Steps have one requirement----TO BE WILLING. I take this to mean, to be willing to be TAUGHT, to be OPEN, to be ready to LEARN, to just BE.
I had a really emotionally rough past three days that hit me in a couple of vulnerable places: my job, our bank account and my nephew and godson. I was so full of anger, emotion, crying, ranting and so on. I told my DH the other night I was too upset to eat supper. I decided to have 4 pieces of homemade fudge. That was supper one night. The next day I was so upset it took me all day to eat my toast from breakfast and I finished it two days later. I stepped on the scales and the stubborn couple of pounds I was wrestling with slipped off. Now, when life throws me some curve balls, I make a huge fuss. That is who I am! I wish I could be as calm as a cucumber but I'm not. I asserted myself with my supervisor and then our operations manager, I asserted myself with our bank and told them I was filing a formal complaint, and I cried with my sister who told me my nephew who is mentally ******ed is being physically abused by his caretakers. That is what life is made of! Not all the time, TG, but sometimes it just plain SUCKS and you know what I don't need to eat a hot fudge sundae to prove the point that I am hurting. IF I tell you I am, well, then take my word for it. I have FINALLY GOT IT.
I don't feel any body, including God, is punishing me or the people around me. It is a sign of our times but everyone has things that happen that suck in their lives. It is learning to find the good in all of that.
I think the Beck Diet solution is ultimately saying what Dorothy said in the Wizard of Oz. We are looking into this inanimate object called food for love, comfort, to relieve our pain, to keep us from facing our boredom, our pain, our need for love and friendship, etc. ---you get the picture when all of that was not in the food but within ourselves.
If you feel pain, feel it---cry,stomp your feet, make a fuss! If you feel love, tell someone, give them a hug. If you feel like moving, move--dance, twirl, swing, whatever. If you want to go to Europe, start putting aside a little bit of money today. We are people of untapped energy, unrealized dreams, and unfailing love and hope. That is what she is trying to say. YOU GOT ONE LIFE, START LIVING IT THE WAY YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE LIVING.
As someone once said, "This ain't no dress rehearsal." For a very long time, longer than I care to admit, I thought I had a second chance---I kept putting off tomorrow what I "should have" done today. Tomorrow I'll do this or that. Well, twenty plus years have passed. I can NEVER relive those days. I cried for a long time realizing this. This past year I have done more to make my life what I have always wanted to be than any one year in my entire life. When you mentioned about Europe I thought I want to take art classes (something I haven't done since the early 80s) and I'm going to do it. I don't know how I will but I will find a way! Today,and maybe tomorrow if we are lucky, is all we have! If you have to "pretend" you have six months to live to start living then that is what you need to do.
When I realized this in my life, I started getting started. Start where you are at. I have not let my age (54 1/2), my weight (severely obese), my occupation, whatever stop me from doing the things that I want and need to do. We have a lot of unused energy (which shows up physically as fat) and once we begin to have an interesting life we don't NEED food any more to fill in those gaps.
It takes repetitive effort until one day it is as easy as breathing. I have moments when it happens. I hope to string those moments together like pearls on a necklace until I am completely and thoroughly living the life I was meant to live. IMO, I think that is the core of the Beck Diet Solution. Basically, GET A LIFE!
That is all there is to it. I can do it. And, so can you!:hug:;):carrot:
12-08-2007, 05:03 PM
pamatga - Ouch - that's some rough stuff to be going through. I wish you well and hope that someone is able to help your nephew.
Thanks for taking the effort to produce such a thoughtful post. I do like your three word condensation of Beck's 288 page book "GET A LIFE!"and I agree with your thought, that when we're into life, we don't need food to fill in the gaps.
Also good to hear that you find Beck's strategies consistent with so much that you've accumulated over the years - I'll take that as an affirmation that her stuff makes sense. It's interesting that her style just doesn't strike you. I'm quite happy with the book, but I also detect that she minimizes some things, specifically time. I found it has taken some time to absorb her writing and do the exercises every day. I'm pleased that I'm doing it and willing to spend the time, but do find it a bit galling that she refers to it as a few minutes a day. Maybe after I'm done with the 42 Program-days it will only be a few minutes.
Hope you'll continue to share some of your experience with us. I'm only 26 months into this journey and feel admiration for someone like yourself who has 12 years experience.
Is it too late to be a part of this discussion? I just bought the book today so I'll be farther behind that everyone else, but I can just read and observe here as I read the book.
12-08-2007, 06:46 PM
Whew! You guys are moving right along! Don't know where to start...my manners, I guess.
CammieCam, welcome! :)
Kitt; thanks for your understanding about my tree.
CoastalSue, I so relate to your discussion about how food calls/signals you. Me too, waaaayyyyyy more than it should.
BillBlueEyes; thank you for the recipe. I wish my chard weren't frozen; it lasted a long time, but now under more than a foot of snow, unlikely to be found, let alone be eaten!
As for your adventure at Whole Foods, just two questions:
As for grazing your way through the store, what is the problem? lol....sounds as if you had lunch on Whole Foods and it sounds wonderful! Kidding, but it is what I would have done! That is my favorite kind of eating adventure....right , Sue?? ;) 100 times harder to resist than the Cuban Missile Crisis Cookie episode. Since I would have eaten exactly what I wanted, I feel hypocritical even trying to offer any advice...that is the first serious thing I have said in this paragraph, but it is true.
The other burning question is, what the !$%#@^%@^% is "vegetarian liver pate"? Sounds like an oxymoron to me!:dizzy:
Pamatga; my thoughts are with your family. This is unthinkable. I just don't know how it could happen; so sad.
12-08-2007, 08:34 PM
CammieCam - :welcome: Just waving because I can see that you're still logged on.
I'm running out the door right now, but I'll post some thoughts later about having several passes through Beck's book going at once. If you read back, you can see that we had a second pass going - by a member taking a break to deal with real life, who will be back.
So, you can start a sequence within this thread covering Program-day 1 going forward, or wait for our other poster to return going at the middle of the book. Either way would elicit welcome discussion. I know that I have to review some of the early stuff. For example, I still haven't thrown any food away, and I still am stuck on FREE food.
from the Beck DIET Solution: (Available thru the 3FC Store) http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionadie/detail/0848731735/104-4216363-1799918
Congratulations on completing the first five weeks of the Beck Diet Solution. You’ve come a long way! Now you know what to do when you want to eat buy you know you shouldn’t. You’ve demonstrated over and over that you can take control of your eating. You can decide what’s in your best interest to eat – and not eat – and how to get yourself to follow through with your food plans, even if you’re hungry, craving, seeking comfort, being pressured to eat, or just tempted by food.
To help change her perception of herself from someone who can’t lose weight to someone who can lose weight. Brenda read the Response Card below every day for weeks. Use it for inspiration in creating your own card.
[B]Build More Confidence
Remind yourself what you were like five weeks ago, before you started this program.
It’s important to continually take stock of what you’ve learned and the progress you’ve made. You need to recognize that you’ve lost weight because of your own efforts. You can continue to make this happen. Reinforce this idea by writing in your diet notebook exactly how you’re different, as Brenda did. [Brenda’s Progress Report followed, page 241.]
My Believe It Response Card, and Progress Report were modeled after Brenda’s. Mine are more focused on continued maintenance rather than weight loss, reflecting the stage of my journey.
Believe It Response Card: I’m maintaining my healthy life style because I’ve learned how. I now know:
1) What I have to DO:o Eat to plan.
o Eat Mindfully.
o Eat only to mild fullness.
o When discouraged, I focus on what I can do today.
2) What I have to REMIND myself:o Hunger and cravings are never emergencies.
o When it’s desire, not hunger; I can turn down food, including seconds.
o To say NO CHOICE to strong urges; it reduces them.
o To say Oh Well to that which I can’t have; it helps me to let go.
o To say Oh Well to slips; it helps me to avoid guilt traps.
o I am not helpless against FREE food.
o I am, at most, a few hours away from a snack or meal.
3) How to MOTIVATE myself:o Get support from DW and 3FC.
o Read my Advantages Card and other cards.
o CREDIT moi every day. It’s not patronizing to give myself credit.
4) How to keep myself HONEST:o Daily record and graph in Excel my: pedometer step count, measured weight, measured body fat.
o Record my exercise in my gym journal. Review monthly.
o Daily record what I eat.
o Estimate my weekly weight on Sunday; record and graph in Excel.
o Report changes to my 3FC diet coach.
Progress Report: Before I started this program I couldn’t consistently:• Leave food on my plate. (Remains a challenge)
• Discard food rather than eat it. (Remains a challenge)
• Feel hungry and not believe that I HAD to immediately eat.
• Say to myself, NO CHOICE.
• Avoid serving myself second helpings when food was available.
• Feel confident that I could stick to my exercise plan and eating plan.
• Refrain from spontaneous eating. (Remains a challenge)
• Stop myself from nibbling while serving myself.
• Eat slowly.
• Recognize and respond to my sabotaging thoughts. (Remains a challenge)
• Limit myself when I at restaurants, parties, and buffets. (Remains a challenge)
• Be assertive with charming food pushers. (Remains a challenge)
Whenever I worry that I can’t maintain my healthy lifestyle, I’ll tell myself that I’ve learned the Beck strategies, including getting back on track, and that I will continue to apply them.
Yesterday I ate on plan, did gym and even had a protein shake afterwards. (The protein shake is sorta like looking for a magic elixir to encourage some muscle growth. Realistically at age 64, I have better prospects of working on my spiritual growth rather than my muscle growth and accepting that I'm not on my way to looking like Schwarzenegger.)
Sabotaging Thought: You're not looking much like Ghandi either, bub.
Helpful Response: Oh, Well.
I also brought 4 Christmas presents from a small Tibetan store - nice scarves that are wide enough to be used as Buddhist prayer shawls. I have a hard time shopping for my adult children; they really would prefer money to get their own present, so I'll probably end up doing that.
Sometimes I'm made happy by such small things. Today I'm looking forward to baking a batch of granola because the almond extract smells so good when its baking. And the stuff is sooooo good when it's hot from the oven.
MaryBlu - LOL, Oh ye of little faith:"The other burning question is, what the !$%#@^%@^% is "vegetarian liver pate"? "Focus your mind on the biology of an eggplant. It must have an organ that I missed during high school biology, because the ingredients included: eggplant, hummus, tofu, and spices. I thought it rather good, given the constraint in ingredients, but was tickled to hear the woman next to me mutter, "I prefer the real stuff." Oh Well.
Thanks for this insight: "100 times harder to resist than the Cuban Missile Crisis Cookie episode." Funny that I was able to become aware that I was facing a problem with the Missile Crisis Cookie, but didn't even think that a problem existed with the grazing until I wrote it in my journal - slipped right under my radar.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Hope your retreat went well. Was it a stress for your back spending a whole day at the retreat?
I agree, feeling full is one lame reason for not wanting a treat from the bakery. Whatsamatter - isn't his nose working?
Reread your Day 36 - Believe It notes. Really appreciate your observation that being 90-95% on plan can be sabotaged by the remaining 5-10% off plan. It's like having a fully insulated house and leaving the front door open during the winter - doesn't take much to nullify the benefits of partially living right. You've got a lot of insights for discussion there.
pamatga -I just reread your post and felt the warmth of your closing thought, "That is all there is to it. I can do it. And, so can you!"
CammieCam - hummmmmm... I seemed to have already written what I stated that I would say later. Feel free to start discussion about the earlier Program-days. For example, I look forward to a new discussion about Day 4 - Give Yourself Credit. I still feel like I'm being patronizing when I give myself credit. Don't know if it's just a guy thing or not.
Readers - May you feel free to give yourself credit today for your progress along your journey and may you consider it a positive step that you do so.
Okay.... I know I'm a little late, but I'll just start from the beginning and when I need to check in I'll do so. I'm going out to get my index cards today... I didn't think I'd like this book, I'm not really one for "self help" books, but this one is quite interesting, I couldn't put it down last night, until I was TOLD to do so until I made my advantages response cards! I think it's worth a shot if it will help me get to my goal weight and maintain it, no matter what's going on in my life.
I have the book AND the workbook... which one is more helpful? Or should I do them both?
12-09-2007, 10:45 PM
glad others are joining in and posting. Welcome to CammieCam and Pamatga!!!.-CammieCam I use both-book and workbook.I do read the book and then the workbook- Easy to use the check list and pre made cards in the workbook. Pamatga-I like TBDS but it is not as easy as Beck writes it-And some exercises and approaches I do not like-but some I learned alot-my personal reasons for weight loss, skipping lunch and leaving some food on my plate-all have help be eat less. Sounds like you have done alot ground work in dealing with changing eating habits. Glad you had a great Christmas Party. So Sorry about all the complex painful things in your life right now, it is good you are respecting your emotional response.
I have been having a very rough time with continually thinking about food. Not hungry but always scoping the environment for possible munchies-Everyplace I go I think about food, I have resisted alot-but I personally feel embrassed how much I think about food-it is stupid focus-I have been trying some meditation techniques to help dissipate this focus. This has been consistent since that silly bakery visit.
I ate much more sponataneously with the company-I did not preplan and record my menu - tomarrow will be better -yep gain some lbs back and will have to relose them again. My guest is a very charming and thin woman who just turned 60-looks 48 yrs old. I watched her and she did eat very sponataneously-enjoying "surprised" treats-but NEVER had any seconds. I think she intuitively lives at about 1200-1300 cals each day. She almost always some food on plate on every meal-bits of salad ect.- most all of her behavior are the ones your mention in your progess list BillBlueEyes. In fact your entire review of your strategies was well done. You have done a great job. -Don't know what to say about the sampling buffet in the store-one thing it all sounded great-not twinkie samples- Recently I had my 1st time every had triple cream french cheese-Oh Boy-I could never have that stuff in my kitchen lurking the refrig. I guess I would call it a learning experience and it is unlikey that you will repeat and eat that many samples again. I think a unexpected cookie will now make me smile about the the cookie cuban missile crisis.
MaryBlu-just got the book Omnivore's Dilemma-WOW Thanks for let us know about the book.
My day of meditation was wonderful-the leader was Ed Bown-wrote a book on making bread in the 70's-He can combine buddhism and cooking. When asked how he can enjoy cooking so much and remain so thin- He talked about eating mindfully-thanking all those who gave their lives for this food, for those who help get the food to us, savoring each bite-I look forward to when I can completely enjoy food without all this preplanning and recording and stop at modest amount consistently. There still lurks in me an attitude if one bite is good, 5 wonderful then 5000 most be heaven. I am so greedy about wanting more and more tastes. Too often the greed over rides the mindfulness. Even if I stop (dieting) too often I really have not enjoyed taste of what was an acceptable amount. Any way more stuff for me to ponder and change.
Good week to all
12-10-2007, 12:24 AM
You are! All of you! I appreciate this thread so much. I have never felt this connected to another one, that is for sure.
This is a particular shout out to BillBlueEyes and CoastalSue:
BillBlueEyes, thanks for being our fearless leader; you are our sage. (and...someone has to do it......lol) As for the grazing through Whole Foods:
"Funny that I was able to become aware that I was facing a problem with the Missile Crisis Cookie, but didn't even think that a problem existed with the grazing until I wrote it in my journal - slipped right under my radar."
Here is where I deviate from Beck a little bit...or maybe not........maybe the fact that you are/were aware of what happened....even after the fact....is your saving grace. What I started to say was, at your goal wt. , if you "had lunch" on Whole Foods, even though unplanned, if you enjoyed it, and called it lunch, then "So what?" In the end, it really didn't derail anything...I just think at some point, we get to "lighten up" on ourselves...
That said, obviously, I have regained 20 #s and have lightened up on myself too much! But the good news, is, it is not THE WHOLE 80#s....it is just 20#.....way more than the window of 5#s you can sensibly allow yourself and then get back on track, but still, it is not the whole 80#s, and it won't be.
I did a joyful 19,000 steps today. And it was JOYFUL. Never stepped outside, just did the whole first half of the Vikings game on my treadmill with my headphones and Duke Robillard and Koko Taylor on, and it was FUN!! (Coastal Sue, hope your 49ers QB is OK)
CoastalSue; I am every bit as seduced by food and obsessed with it as you are.
"I have been having a very rough time with continually thinking about food. Not hungry but always scoping the environment for possible munchies-Everyplace I go I think about food, I have resisted alot-but I personally feel embrassed how much I think about food-it is stupid focus-I have been trying some meditation techniques to help dissipate this focus. This has been consisakery visit."
Well, Yaahhhh....seriously, every meeting, whether it is store bought cookies or really good scones, I am thinking about it......I am pretty sure that will never change.......and that is exactly why Beck is loading us up with so many tools.
I think for me, it will have to be a bit of a compromise.........I need to use Beck strategies to overcome the day to day fixation with food, and then when I get into Whole Foods on Demo Day........letterrippp.......!!!:D:D
12-10-2007, 12:35 AM
Hello to All. Well, I bought both the book and the workbook today and just compared the first chapters. I think I will keep them both as there were insights both have to offer. Thanks to your posts I can skip around a little by observing your focus and benefiting by pre-thinking my direct challenge chapter by chapter. If that doesn't make sense to you, it does to me and I am, afterall, writing to help myself so--please indulge me. Tonight I watched "One More Day" by Mitch Albolm(sp?) and this movie brought up some emotions that were familiar and uncomfortable. I wanted to dive into something comfortable to eat but notice---I am giving myself credit here--I postponed my actions by reading a little of Beck's book during commericials. Now, I will confess that after the movie I chose to indulge myself with a bad for me snack but I still feel like I made a baby step towards progress. One of the thoughts I read in either the book or workbook, I do not remember which, is that I do need to come to grips with the reality that doing 95% of a plan is great but missing out on that 5% is like leaving the front door open on a cold day--it can really put the whole house temperature out of balance. This is going to be quite an adventure and it is great to know I am not alone. Thanks to all who post!
12-10-2007, 12:42 AM
Kitt, from what you said, I would say........overall..........."give yourself credit"!
12-10-2007, 06:58 AM
Ate on plan Sunday, including a pot luck lunch where I made good choices, including a baked apple stuffed with banana for dessert. Then, one odd event happened.
I was chatting with a teenage friend of mine when he said "Those Turkish Delights are just awesome," so, without warning I ate one. Not a big calorie deal, but of interest to me because I had skipped a dozen tempting desserts with equanimity, then I just ate a piece of candy. It's the slipping under my radar that catches my attention. I might have chosen to do it anyway since I haven't had Turkish Delight in MANY years, and I might have wondered if I still liked the taste of dates (I think it's just dates and nuts pressed into a rectanguloid shape.) There might be some value to me doing a Beck style problem solving on this since it's about the third time in recent memory that I ate something without thinking right after someone made an enticing comment. The small calories aren't my worry, but the hole in my radar that could lead to the slippery slope concerns me.
Cooked New Orleans style red beans for the first time in my new adventure to start learning to cook, using a family recipe. Turned out quite good - DW thought them good. They are loaded with ham (euphemistically called "cooked with a ham bone for flavor.") I left out the sausage as a token to healthy eating. Next time I will attempt a little less ham, but if I go too little, they won't taste right. New Orleans red beans is not a dieter's dish, LOL.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Your day of meditation with Ed Brown sounds wonderful. It does just boggle my mind that he combines Buddhism and cooking and being thin. Hope you unravel the secret why that is possible and share it with us. By the by, do you recommend his book?
The constant thinking about food is familiar to me. My dream is that with enough mindful eating it will decrease. I am moved by the story of your friend who always leaves a bit of food on her plate. That's still in my future.
MaryBlu - Appreciate your comments on the need to "lighten up" on ourselves during maintenance. You're ahead of me in dealing with this, and I admire that you haven't bounced back through your entire 80# loss. Do you have any insights on how you managed to stop the bounce back? Any insights on how to limit the bounce? I'm here primarily because I've seen the bounce back hit so many people who've lost weight and I don't know of any reason that I'm so different that it won't happen to me. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Loved reading that 19,000 steps were joyful!
SuchAtwin - Kudos to you for working strategies to confront the desire for food while watching the movie. And kudos for spotting that your desire for food was related to the emotions that came with the movie. Both are BIG steps, and I hope you revisit them and give yourself bigger credit. It's been a topic here that spotting that we are in a emotional eating situation is a hard step, and a required step in order to have a response.
CammieCam - You can't be late, you're on CammieCam time. Let us know what insights you have when making your Advantages Response Card. For example, I was surprised how vividly I am able to recall a small embarrassment caused by my weight.
Readers - You can confront an emotional eating situation after you recognize that it's an emotional eating situation.
The Advantages Response Card took me a little longer that I thought it would. Since I've already been on WW and losing weight, and my outlook on alot of things has changed in the past year, it took me a while to go back this time last year and try to remember WHY I wanted to lose weight in the first place. It was exactly what Dr. Beck talks about. U think you're always remember why you wanted to lose weight, but when there's unplanned food in your face you're not thinking about those things, you're thinking about the FOOD.
I won't write the entire list here, because most of them are the same as anyone else's I would imagine - wanting to feel better, have more self esteem, be more attractive to the opposite sex, more energy, etc. But the one thing that stuck out for me was that before, I would never want to go out with a particular friend of mine and her sister because they were both slim women - big into fashion and clothes, shoes, etc. I always felt out of place hanging out with them and their friends because I was "the big girl" in a group of slimmer women. I tended to hang out more with the friends who looked more like me. I never told my friend my reasons for not going out with her when she invited me to a club or house party her sister was having and our relationship became strained as a result. We're not as close as we used to be and I regret that. I assume she thinks that I no longer want to be her friend, but quite the contrary, she's a great person. I just never wanted to tell her that I felt like the fat girl whenever we all went out together. She probably would have told me I looked great and that I was being silly because that's the kind of person she is, but she would never have been able to understand because she'd never been a big girl. So one of the advantages I wrote was to be more socially active and not be afraid to go out because I'd feel like the only big girl in a group of smaller ones.
I did Days 1 and 2 together, because I've already chosen a weight loss plan (I hate the word diet, I wish she wouldn't use it in the book). WW has been working for me since the beginning of the year, and I find it easy to work into my life, so I'm sticking with it. WW Core is my primary and calorie counting is my backup. Honestly, I did exactly what Beck recommends, that if you find one is no longer working for you, have a backup. I was doing Flex for majority of this year, but had begun to feel a little obsessed with the point counting and weighing and measuring, and started to feel deprived. Thank goodness WW had another plan I could try, so I switched to core instead of just giving up, which honestly, I had thought about doing several times, thinking maybe this was just the weight I was supposed to be and that was that. Now I know that I can lose more weight, I just had to switch to something else.
I also made myself a card to remember not to eat unplanned food at my company's holiday party on Wednesday. I had already mentally rehearsed in my mind what I am going to do when I get to the party, but the response card will also be in play as well.
Today is Day 3 - eating while sitting down. I DO taste while cooking. I DO go into the refrigerator and grab a handful of this or a small pinch of that and act like it doesn't matter. I DO go to the grocery store and eat samples. I just did it without thinking, and put it out of my mind just as quickly. This will be an interesting one to see if I can correct.
I almost feel silly writing these response cards and putting them in places where I can see them. I've never been one for self help books and whatnot. But what have I got to lose? It's certainly worth a shot.
12-11-2007, 01:15 AM
Evening to all,
Hey, I worked on our up coming taxes-recording receipts for my husband's small business and did not overeat. Hours of paperwork in the past has sent me over the munchy edge.
I have just reread "The Zen of Eating" by Ronna Kabatznick, It did remind me to work on letting my negative and craving ideas go. I am combining the TBDS tasks with a mindful vigilance. I find it is easier to concentrate on being mindful than remember all the check lists which Beck suggests for questioning sabatoging thoughts. Many of suggestions for behavior changes are great. But I still have re occurring bouts of cravings with short binges. Got to add more ideas to the beck ways. Like you said BillBlueEyes-sometimes things just get under the radar. But Maryblu you are so right about accepting the behavior and just re-doing some of the eating for the rest of the day. I find that my Dh will do that if he has had a rich treat or ate more than he expected-reduce the food for the rest of the day. The real key is that it not become a common pattern as continual eating too spontaneously can result in too many calories the majority of the time. It certainly not that common for my DH.
CammieCan-I remember feel that ackwardness at some of TBDS exerciese-yet many really do help with time and repeating them. I now love my response card-It does help to remind my self of my true goal even if I over do it some weekends and it helps get back on track. It was tough to read about how you limit yourself socially with your sister. Tough as we all have done this-I am still over 300lbs and just get the "vibes" about feeling a "Hugh" in some scenes. And I bet your sister is right that you are beautiful. Much continued success on your food plan.
suchATwin-glad you got the materals-It has taken some some time me to do the many tasks. Giving yourself credit for each step is great. I am one certainly struggling with losing focus 5% of the time- I do lose but I sure slow the trip down the scales. But overall I have a very good nutritous foundation which I did not have a year ago.
Maryblue great job on the tread mill- I love Koko Taylor (like other bluezy singers?) -Don't know Duke-Cajun?
BillBlueEyes-It is amazing how the mind can lose it's focus in a social setting with food. I really understand the effect of visuals with someone also talking about the food. I become like a "simon said" player-listen to the talk, feel the enthusiaum, see the object and then do the eating. I think it was great you stopped at one!! There is always something to learn about eating in a new situation. I have been working so hard not to eat sweets when out and about so when a friend raved about cheese-(that great 3 cream French stuff) and handed my cracker with some, I just ate it. If I had to spread the cheese myself I would have not done it, some how just being inches from my hand I took it and ate it. I swear if it was cookie I would have said no-kind of have that rehearsed in my mind, the cheese was a new spin to learn. I have got a very simple WW recipe for Gumbo-use chicken, some TJ lower Calorie chicken sausages and then add TF cooked but frozen shrimp at the last minute-it is not the orginal but lower cal and passable. Just love the food, music and people of N.O. One of kids went to law school at Tulane-we loved it there.
I have not used any of Ed Brown's books-He does have a new film out about cooking and being mindful. It has had a small showing about and will soon be a dvd. On Sunday he had a small class about the power of touch and connecting with other-we placed our hands on other's shoulders and then he would talked us thru different emotions-It was so powerful we were talking in a non accepting way to others-the muscles were so tense. Again the power of acting compassionately with others and our selves is so healing.
12-11-2007, 06:01 AM
from The Beck DIET Solution – Available from Amazon thru the 3FC Store (http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionadie/detail/0848731735/104-4216363-1799918)
Three Steps to Lower Your Level of Stress
Step 1: Solve the Problem
Use the Seven Question Technique (pages 199-203) to respond to negative thoughts that interfere with problem solving. You might also find it helpful to ask a friend or diet coach.
Step 2: Relax
Chronic stress can make you body tense. Consider getting an audiotape that teaches relaxation techniques, such as progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery.
Step 3: Change Your Mindset
Many people are chronically stressed because they allow unreasonable rules to guide their behavior. These rules usually have the word should or shouldn’t in them.
Insert the word ”reasonable” into your rules.
E.g. I shouldn’t rely on others becomes I should rely on others when it is reasonable to do so.
Change ”should” or ”shouldn’t” to ”it’s realistic to expect that …” to relax your rules for others.
E.g. Other people should always be grateful. becomes It’s realistic to expect that not everyone will be as appreciative as I’d like them to be.
Sabotaging Thought: If I lower my expectations for myself, I’ll become completely unmotivated.
Helpful Response: It’s not all or nothing. I don’t have to lower my expectations completely, just enough to reduce my stress.
Once I take steps to reduce my overall stress, dieting will be easier.
It’s easy for me to fall into the common stress generators that Beck lists: I shouldn’t let people down.
Other people shouldn’t misunderstand me.Cutting some slack without feeling that I’m compromising my life remains a challenge for me.
Ate on plan yesterday, including at a company retirement party. Spread sand on the front steps before I left even though it was getting late for my pre-dawn dental appointment. Arrived at the dental office on time to have my teeth cleaned. Had the $65 ("not covered by your insurance") oral cancer test with negative results. Put in a days work at the office. Went to the gym. Returned a library book before it was overdue - which i had frantically finished the night before realizing that I had renewed it three times because I was done with it and could just speed read the last two chapters and physically be done with it. Bought bananas for this morning's breakfast. Read Beck Program-day 37. Flossed my teeth before going to bed.
Real life does seem to have back-to-back minutia to be conquered in order to have time for grander thoughts. Makes me admire the cavemen who invented civilization.
I'm delighted that after being annoyed with Beck for 243 pages of referring to what we shouldn't eat, she asserts that we'll reduce our stress if we replace the word shouldn't. Maybe the second edition can fix that, as well as replace diet with eating plan as Cammie suggests. [ /font=rant]
Sue (CoastalSue) - Noting that you didn't mention your back or your cold, hope that means you're conquering both.
Your workshop with Ed Brown sounds like both a relaxing and a growth experience. What a gift that he appears near you to provide that. I'll definitely watch for his DVD. The 10 year old version of his Green Cookbook sells for very little since the new version is available. I might put the new version on my Christmas list.
I hope you keep pounding on the ways to be mindful that might lead to closing the gap of what comes in under the radar.
Would you be willing to post your simple chicken gumbo recipe?
Cammie (CammieCam) - Neat insight about writing out the Advantages Response Card. I can feel, from here, the power of your feelings about not going out with friend and her thin friends. What a motivator.
I recognize that Sabotaging Thought you mention of feeling silly for writing these cards; I feel that all the time. Thankfully, you guys here on 3FC allow me to voice that which reduces the feeling of silliness a bit. Would you let us know how you do at the party on Wednesday? You seem prepared.
Readers - You might choose to reduce stress in your life by laughing at the contradiction between following unsolicited suggestions to reduce stress and reducing stress by ignoring unsolicited suggestions on how to improve your life.
Hi, Bill, I see you are online right now. Those of you (Bill, MaryBlu, CoastalSue) who seem at the top of this mountain of weight control challenge make it worth it for those at the bottom to believe we can make it up there too.
Cammiecamm and Pantamga: nice to meet ya! You've both inspired me. I was sabatoging my positive self-talk by thinking I don't want to think about a back-up diet plan when Cam-cam reminded me that WW has its own back-up plan. I haven't decided which plan to start with as I am just not ready to make this all the priority in my life. My organizational muscles are flabby but I will give myself credit for thinking about getting ready to commit. Also, I want to apologize if I get you folks mixed up when making references. I have noticed that my short term memory is falling apart--my friends say it is my messed up female hormones. Anyway, without either a) printing out your messages, or b) repeatedly hitting the back button to refer to your posts, I most likely will screw up or leave someone out I wanted to mention or compliment. Oh well. I am off to another busy day.
12-11-2007, 10:08 AM
Have a nice day SuchATwin,
Don't sweat mixing us up on this thread. I mixed my two kids up and one's a boy and one's a girl. They, of course, were unforgiving, making me more so.
SuchATwin- in this weight struggle we all have our ups and down-loved you wrote saying that I was on the top of weight loss mountian- heck I bet I am the heavest one on this site being over 300lbs. Still loved the compliment. Don't worry about "correctly" quoting any one-just write what is important for you on that day. -One day I feel so successful and other days I feel like one of Pavlov's dog-just ring the dinner bell and I am programed to overeat. No matter where you are at we have been there and most likely will revisit that place again in our struggles.
BillBlueEyes-now after all these pages filled with rules Beck wants us to reduce our stress.. That white knuckle response to many food situation is hard for me-I do have a bit of a yoyo behavior pattern-perfect for days-then ignore TBDS for 2 days and then back again with the cards and checklist. I have been looking at the buddhist approach dealing with desire and it is our grasping for the objects of our desire which creates our unhappiness. I certainly agree with Beck that food craving are formed in the mind and I believe many of her tasks really help with changing the mind-but I have alway rebelled with the NO Choice card. In my heart I knew I had the choice to eat it.It just didn't work for me-But if I choose other actions I find it helps me-one is to slowly mindfully eat a small piece of the craved-kind like the 10 minute raisin eating practice of Jon Kabat-Zinn-nothing satiates the senses like sooo slowly eating something. I also meditate and work at understanding how temporary all of our thoughts are-pride, anger, fear, tension. When I am successful at calming myself overeating is automatically reduced. I really like TBDS and budhhist mindfullness together and learning that my addictive, stressed and occassional depressed mind can change. I guess it is called acceptance and compassion for all -including myself. Actually I think compassion to everyone is one of hardest lesson-as retired teacher my career was being charge and was telling other and myself what needs to be done next and even do it better next time,
the faux gumbo (sorry. we never measure)- equal part of diced onions, celery and bell pepper( i use about 1-1 /2 cup each to make alot) quickly brown in about 1 tlb spoon of olive oil and minced garlic (we use alot about 4 cloves or so) Add 14 oz cans of crushed tomatoes (we do 1- 2 ) and then 1-2 cups of chicken broth, add the packet of frozen okra- add cayenne, thyme, bay leave, worcestershire sauce and gumbo file Cook for 1/2 hrs or so-we add any dice chicken we have about, the TJ chicken cilantro chicken sausages as they are a bit spicy. Simmer until chicken is done. Just before we dish it up we place some of the frozen cooked prawns in warm water and then place them in the bowl and dish up the gumbo-The shrimp tend to heat up nicely without getting so tough. Basically we just do not dothe Roux-or the rice a bit of cheat but not so caloric. If it is bland we also add some hot sauce. I tend to just ballpark my calorie in each bowl -do others measure and calculate with the whole pot would be and get a more accurate calorie count for the bowl?
thanks for checking cold and sore back are better-but both flare up at times. Ed Brown had us do some Qiqong, or chi Jong exercises--those gentle chinese movements to improve health. Wow very gentle yet very energizing. I did them seated but still it was great stuff for me.
Hope all is well
12-12-2007, 06:42 AM
Ate on plan yesterday. Before I took my evening walk that goes past Whole Foods I remembered that they have special tastings of local vendors on Tuesdays - usually a big spread. I began to drool, particularly as I remembered how many foods I sampled on my last visit. I really enjoyed thinking about it. Then I remembered posting about it. Then I remembered that my current goal in life isn't to eat as much FREE food as I can get my hands on. Then, finally, I had a rational thought: if I don't go inside, I have more time to walk and I won't eat anything. WOW, I felt like I had had a revelation. If I don't belly up to the buffet, I won't overeat. Perhaps I'll write a book. So, I didn't go inside. I didn't eat. I enjoyed my walk.
DW cooked Amaranth Pilaf last night: amaranth, chicken broth, mushrooms. Really yummy. Amaranth contains lots of protein and other nutrients. I liked the flavor, DW found it to be a bit "earthy." Each new item added to our food list makes it easier to drop the unhealthy items.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Another great idea to make us rich: we reverse Pavlov's bell so that when it rings, we don't want to eat. We could sell millions. LOL, you crack me up. We need MaryBlu on this for marketing; I think she could capture the spirit.
Thanks for the faux gumbo recipe, think I'll try it. The idea of serving the gumbo over the shrimp rather than cooking them too long to reduce toughness sounds like a good idea.
Perhaps you can lead us to mindfulness along this line:I guess it is called acceptance and compassion for all -including myself.I do like that Beck tries to address both acceptance and compassion in her chapter on Stress. Your comments remind me that some great thinkers have spent lifetimes trying to achieve this. Does make it feel kind of funny to have written Completed Program-day 37 Reduce Stress as if that's all done that now - on to carrot sticks and squats, LOL.
I really appreciate the way you are leading your journey.
SuchAtwin - Allow me to join you in giving you credit for thinking about being ready to commit. I agree, that's an important first step. I do hope you keep reading this thread and posting; as you lean toward committing, it's nice to have some place to lean on.
CammieCam - Good luck on your company party today. I'll be thinking of you, offering silent support from afar. Please keep me in mind also; I'm heading to a party this evening that every year puts more incredibly attractive and different food on its buffet than I see anywhere else. My plan is to eat up to 50% more than my normal dinner, but not 100% more. And certainly not 3 times normal, which is entirely possible. I'll report in tomorrow, using all you guys as my diet coach so I'll feel your presence this evening, as the Sabotaging Thought "no one will know" seeps into my mind.
Readers - May the holidays offer you delightful foods from which you choose wisely.
Been hearing about some very tough weather across the mid area-hope you all are doing ok- are warm and have power.
CammieCam-May you have fun and keep to your plan at your party tonight.
We should all give ourselves credit for even thinking about food plans this time of the year-many yummy but such caloric treats are everywhere.
tomarrow I make cookies and couple of dishes to take to the bay area on sat.
It will so hard not to snack on the cookies-sample the sauces ect. I think i am just count a portion of tomarrow on "tasting" cooking.
BillBlueEye-that was great to keep on walking by the food sample heaven-less cals and more exercising! You go skinny! have heard of Amaranth but not used it yet. I so agree the more whole grains, and fresh veggie and fruit I learn to use the better. Tonight we have some small organic winter squash-dh said how good it was with out butter and/or sugar/maple syrup. Just plain squash is now tasting sweet.
P.S. I am all for getting rich-at least confortable for awhile. I think it can't be a bell to stop overeating but more like a stun gun. I bet that would me stop.
Things are going well-I remain calm and focused on my food plan with very little cravings-one of those easier days-tomarrow will be harder with all the cooking.
12-13-2007, 06:55 AM
from The Beck DIET Solution – Available from Amazon thru the 3FC Store (http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionadie/detail/0848731735/104-4216363-1799918)
You should expect occasional weight gains or plateaus, even if you are doing everything right.
If you hit one of these plateaus, you have four options:1. Continue to do what you’re doing and see if you start to lose weight again
2. Reduce your daily calorie intake by 200 calories, which should allow you to lose about a half pound per week. (Check with your health-care professional first to make sure it’s reasonable to cut down some more.)
3. Increase your daily exercise by 15 to 20 minutes.
4. Call this your goal weight and move into maintenance.
The small plateaus haven’t bothered me. There are many regulars on 3FC who have experienced weight loss plateaus, have worked through them, and have written about their strategies. Their stories are easy to find if you look around the site.
My next big challenge is when my weight begins to increase, most likely because I have drifted off plan. The posters on 3FC who have caught themselves and gotten back on track are my heroes.
Ate on plan, including at the big party last night that had raised my concern. I chose a small amount of smoked turkey and some sushi. I accepted one bite of DW's ham on a role because "You gotta taste the best role, ever," which it was, but didn't immediately go make myself one. Ate a bunch of green beans with feta cheese, a modest amount of soft cheese with fancy crackers, fresh huge blackberries, one strawberry of the California industrial grade shipping variety, a few really good blueberries, and a couple of star fruit which I don't get very often. Had, as planned, a small serving of three desserts. Skipped: yummy looking ham, cheeses galore, appetizer meats, many many cheeses, breads, bread sticks, cider, wines, copious cookies, and candies including chocolates, All in all, no more than a normal dinner. CREDIT moi. Thanks to you all for being here to listen.
This morning the scale measured the same as yesterday, 153 pounds - remaining within my normal jitter range of 152 to 158 - so I don't even get to write about dealing with a small, temporary weight gain per Program-day 38.
Today's goal (besides a full work day) is to get to the gym and do some Christmas shopping.
MaryBlu - Can you generate some marketing slogans for our new company that sells the inverted Pavlov's bell - one ring and hunger stops?
Just ignore CoastalSue's stun gun comment above; it's too late to accept engineering changes to the design. Besides, there may be legal responsibilities if we sell a stun gun. If any of us could think like a thin person, we'd realize that this product doesn't have to WORK in order to sell bazillions and make us rich, it has to SOUND like it would work. If it really worked, the fat people would get thin and our marketing base would vanish.
Sue (CoastalSue) - The winter squash without butter or sweetener sounds yummy. How does it get to taste so sweet? Is that because your taste is getting more clear since you are decreasing the amount of sweets that you regularly eat?
Good luck with your baking and cooking. Sounds like you need your Advantages Response Card taped to oven door, LOL.
CammieCam - How did you do at the party?
Readers - Reminder: There are twelve days until Christmas; today is the day to send the first partridge in a pear tree.
Did a ton of cooking today along with having company and went to an increditably well done play. It is amazing how professional everyone was as we are such a small community. There were about 10 children in the play and they all were so poised. It was a great evening.
While pleased that I have not gone overboard with sweets-did have 3 more cookies that I would have liked-Still must give myself some credit for not becoming totally mindless.
billblueEyes-Sounds like you did great at your gathering. What a spread you had to make choices at. You are maintaining you weight loss so well. In less than 3 weeks this food/festivites/parties/gathering time will done. Plus you going to the gym still.
I just got my swim over top but now my sinuses are annoyed again so not going swim in this mid 50's weather as on Sat we leave to see family-one being a 3 month old infant and don't want to bring a cold to the gathering.
More cooking tomarrow-I am catering this gathering over this weekend with some of the family's favorite comfort foods-One trick is that I made the cookie dough but will not cook up the cookies until I am there so I am less tempted with a ton of cookies about the house.
I am reading Ominovore's Dilemma-what we have created with cheap corn and turning it to soo many additives and sweetners in processed foods! Very well written and makes alot of food seem very unattractive.
hope all is well for you folks-I am just barely maintaining my loss and holding on not to go on a sugar frenzy with all of this holiday stuff. I certainly am not a perfect Beck user, But I am doing so much better than any other holiday season-Hardly drinking any alcohol which really help in remaining aware of what I am eating.-plus less calories.
12-14-2007, 07:01 AM
Shoveled snow last night - the 10 inches that fell between 2pm and 9pm in the Boston area. Got to use the arm muscles and stamina that I've been building at the gym. That felt really good. CREDIT moi.
Just remembered that one of the cheeses that I ate at my Wednesday party was covered with tomato aspic. I never see tomato aspic, don't know if it's out of favor or if I just don't travel in the right circles. Tastes like jello with canned tomatoes in it. Seems like an oldie fashioned thing.
I went window shopping at a mall yesterday to try to get into the Christmas buying spirit. That didn't work, I'll have to keep at it. But, I did see a Lane Bryant store so I walked through it to see if it would be obvious to me why it is so unloved by the posters on 3FC. Nothing struck me, except that the manikins weren't laughingly skinny. And most of the shoppers were larger but not huge. Since I've never walked through any other women's clothing store I didn't have anything to compare it to, so, feeling a bit silly for being there, I walked on.
Today I'll take the subway to work so that I don't have to find out how well the streets have been plowed and whether everyone has their snow tires on.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Congratulations for not going overboard with all that cooking and baking. Your plan to bake the cookies at their site of consumption is so good - Beck could include it in her next book update as a great avoidance strategy. I shouldn't be left in any house with a tin of snicker doodles. I have a history there that isn't mindful.
Glad that you have your wet suit top; hope you get to use it soon to get back to your favorite exercise. It will be so hard for me to think of you in an outdoor pool when I have mounds of snow outside. Oh Well.
Readers - Reminder: There are eleven days until Christmas; today is the day to send two turtle doves as well as yesterdays' gifts.
Hey everyone! The holiday party went very well, I had to give myself credit! :) Which surprisingly is very easy to do because I know I work hard at this and it takes ALOT for me to say no to food and drink, especially when it's free. ****, even when it's NOT free.
I scouted the buffet first, picked out the things I could eat (I'm on WW and on core so I made sure to pick only core foods, or foods made mostly with core ingredients) THEN picked up a plate and had small portions of what I had chosen, and sat down to eat it. I only had ONE plate and didn't go back for seconds. I actually didn't even finish what I had on my plate. I was eating some cocktail shrimp that had dill on them and I don't really like dill. Normally I'd just finish them anyway, because they were THERE, but this time around I just stopped eating. It wasn't worth it. I didn't even have desert; there were so many other things going on at the party, drinks, dancing, socializing, meeting new people, that I forgot all about it.
I did have a little trouble with the drinks though. I told myself I'd have 2 glasses of wine, 3 tops. I ended up having 2 glasses at the party and 2 cocktails at the after party. But I counted everything, didn't beat myself up, and didn't eat dinner when I got home. I guess you could say the two cocktails were my dinner because I didn't get home until after midnight and I wasn't going to eat that late at night anyway.
So overall, I was pleased with myself. I hope to have the same resolve on Christmas when I go to my mom's house for dinner. I'm afraid... Thanksgiving did NOT go well, I left my mom's house that night came home and cried because I felt like I had failed myself, so I hope to not have a repeat performance this time around.
The response card I made for the party really did help. I just remember hearing it over and over in my mind. "The food will be tempting, but I can resist it." It really did work. I think I'll create another one for Christmas, it really made a difference.
I'm having a little trouble with days 3 and 4. I didn't think I would, but it turns out I eat standing up more that I thought I did. Usually it's just a bite of what I've already put in my plate for dinner. I'll prepare my plate, and then pick up my fork and take a bite, standing right in the kitchen. Most of the time I stop myself, but at least one meal or snack a day I end up doing it. ARGH! I don't know why I can't wait until I sit down, I never even noticed it until I started reading the book. It's frustrating because I want to be able to check off that I sat while eating every single time and I just can't do that yet.
And I'm totally resisting the whole "eat mindfully" thing, although I KNOW I need to do it. I'm just so used to eating in front of the TV at home or the computer at home and/or at work, it's a really really REALLY hard habit to break. I also think that it takes longer to eat that way, but that's the whole point, isn't it? I do have a dining room table that I need to clear of mail and papers, so I plan to do that today since I'm off from work, and attempt to eat at the dining room table when I'm at home and will turn the monitors off on my computer in my office when I eat lunch so I can do this for real. I won't continue with the book until I accomplish these things for at least the next few days.
Thanks for all the encouragement and well wishes guys! You did good, like guardian angels on my shoulder. Stick around for Christmas, okay??? :)
12-14-2007, 10:09 AM
SuchAtwin - WW is great that way, a built in back-up plan for weight loss! I lost most of my weight on Flex, and Core has really motivated me to stick with this even though it does get difficult. Whenever you're ready, I think WW is a really good way to go.
Bill, Sue and Mary - add me to the "thinking about food all the time" bandwagon. I remember that was one of the reasons I stopped going to WW back in 2004, because I found myself constantly obsessed with food; I was thinking about it WAAAAYYY too much. But honestly I've realized that this is just what I'm gonna have to do for a lifetime. I want to hope that just as Beck said, it will become second nature after a while, just like the "thin people" she talks about in the book. Although I do believe that some folks who are thin just don't have to work hard at being thin, it's just natural. I know there is at least one woman at my job who drinks beer and puts food away like nobody's business, she's just naturally thin. But I'm sure there are other thin people who DO have to work at it, who DO think about food as we do, but they for whatever reason, don't let it make them angry or feel obsessed, they just do it because they know they have to. I hope that for all of us it will eventually be that way. I don't want to get to a point ever again where I don't care what I eat because I never want to get back up to my highest weight. That's why I commend you Mary for recognizing that you've gained a little weight back and are working to lose it instead of gaining more. You certainly deserve credit for that.
Bill, thank you for encouraging us, I know I do appreciate it. I did read the chapter about picking a diet coach, and although I do have friends and family that would be willing to help, sometimes there is something about the anonymity of the board, that allows me to be even more honest here than I would with even my own mom! So here I shall remain...
12-14-2007, 10:55 AM
I just ate my breakfast - oat bran, some blackberries, a slice of Canadian bacon and water. I still haven't cleaned off the dining room table, so I used one of my dinner trays instead. Turned the TV off. Silence, just the sounds of my spoon hitting the bowl. It was weird to say the least. But I understand why it should be done. I'll do it for lunch as well, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Took me 13 minutes. At lunch I'll try for 15.
Have a great day guys! :)
12-14-2007, 11:08 PM
Good going, everyone!
You guys are going GREAT!! Everyone of you (us)!!! I have only been gone for 48 hrs. and even though I have "sped read" so to speak, I am WAY behind.
Don't know where to start.
BillBlueEyes, you asked me a question about pulling out of a "dive" ie. an escalation of wt...and well, *gulp.......another time.....another musing, but I am, after all, "Minnesota Nice", so had to at least respond.
My question back, though, Mr. Bill.......How in the world from my posts, did you come up with the idea that I should come up with our marketing slogan? How did you pick up on the sales thing?? Am I *that* shamelessly transparent??
I did wonder about you under all that snow, but should have realized you would RELISH the challenge.
My dear CoastalSue: I am happy you are absorbing the implications of The Omnivore's Dilemma. It brings me back to my hippie years......30 years ago!!
To CammieCam and Kitt: I am glad you are with us; this is such a great team. We depend on Bill(the scholar) to lead us, Sue for our moral compass, and I ........hmmmmm......the rebellious one......I see the BRILLIANCE of Beck, but for now am just hanging on by a thread (sorry for the pun).....Truly, I am getting better, getting closer to the commitment it takes........for the holiday season, I am doing great........
I am hanging in there.....If I would just pick Beck up again and FOLLOW it...I would struggle less....call me rebellious, but, I am reading and LOVING, You, Getting Younger, by Roisen and Oz...One of the lines in there is: "Stop reading self help books and start doing" how cool and how TRUE IS THAT?? And there is compelling reason in there to restrict calories for longer life.....and better life. I can honestly say, I am not for longer life, if it is not "better" .yanno?
Good tidings, all........Merry Christmas!!
12-15-2007, 01:19 AM
Wow, what a long thread to catch up on! I just wanted to say hello, and that I will be stopping by again soon (as soon as I've read the whole thing, that is). A lot of "life" stuff got between us, but I'm working my way back.
Best wishes to all!
12-15-2007, 03:07 AM
Great to hear from you Liannie-hope your job is improving or are you still thinking about a change? Look forward to an up date.
Maryblue-were there Hippies in MN 30 yrs ago? I was a social worker in San Francisco then and even live in a co-op living venture-very tame commune. My mom was so worried about my "morals" back then. Later even sold handcrafts for a living. I really did have a grand time in San Francisco then. Now 30+ yrs later my Dh and I are planning to do craft fairs again to to earn some extra bucks. So now I guess we are aging hippies. DH still has a beard. So understand the struggle of being so food regulated-hang in there.
I eagerly await January!!!! A dear friend who was my reluctant my diet coach until I started posting here just brought over a box of incredible cookies-I have had a mini sugar frenzy-help, this is a tough time. Along with being super busy and food everywhere.
CammieCam-Sounds like you were prepared for the party. Alcohol is one tough one for me to deal with. I love social drinking, wine with meals-luckly I have not been around eggnog yet this year. It is great that you counted the drinks-I find if I alway record everything it helps reduce some of the more caloric stuff. I figure I'll make mistakes but at least not go into denial about them is a hugh help. So glad the focused eating helps-my Dh is a very fast eater who speaks little during a meal -If I am not careful I keep time with him. It took me a long time, but now I like just eating instead of multi tasking and eating.
BillBlueEyes-you didn't spend your childhood in Minn. I was raised and there was Jello in everything. I have had and don't like Tomatoe Aspic. Jello with canned fruit cocktail was considered a salad back then.
That is some cold weather you are dealing with. I am an california wimp now when it comes to snow.
We are goiing out of town until at least Monday and I can't post as I forgot my password. I e-mailed 3FC hoping to get it but they never responded so I'll read your posting but will get back to you all later. I really am not eating alot. but what I am eating is "holiday" treats. not good, but not going totally food crazy.
hey, this too will pass
12-15-2007, 07:56 AM
from The Beck DIET Solution – Available from Amazon thru the 3FC Store (http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionadie/detail/0848731735/104-4216363-1799918)Use the same techniques to motivate yourself to exercise that you used to motivate yourself to diet.
Focus on how you’ll feel after you finish exercising.
Put exercise in the NO CHOICE category.
Meet a friend or trainer.
Give yourself lots of credit.
Focus on your progress.
End your session with something positive.
Make sure you’re doing a type of exercise you like.
Sabotaging Thought: It’s okay to skip exercising today because I don’t want to, I’m tired, and I’m too stressed out.
Helpful Response: It’s not okay. Exercise in an essential part of losing weight and maintaining my weight loss.
Once I accept that exercise has to be a permanent part of my weight-loss program, dieting will be easier.
This is a useful strategy for me to work on, since lately I find it easy to think of the reasons to skip going to the gym. I’ve been consistent in going to the gym (CREDIT moi), but still am not back up to my previous full workout plan.
I just had a remarkable thought as I was spell checking what I had written: why not read the suggestions of this Program-day and apply some of them to helping me break out of my rut. OK, did that, and here is my plan:• I’ll continue to try some variations in the workout that I do in an attempt to work toward a full session.
• I'll schedule a session with my trainer, since that is pricy and I’ll do the full hour just to get my money’s worth.
• CREDIT moi for sticking to 3 gym sessions per week.
• CREDIT moi for improving my chest press from 35# dumbbells to 40# dumbbells.
• CREDIT moi for starting to drink some whey protein shakes in an attempt to improve my gym work (contains NO steroids).
• I commit to my diet coaches here to make one of my three workouts over the next week a full workout and to report here on 3FC when I do, and request you guys to bug me if I haven't.hummm... Seems that I have to remind myself to work this program, not just to whine this program, LOL.
Walking is easier for me to keep up with – I love my walking and have incorporated food shopping at the small stores that DW doesn’t go to. (Which is OK because this is the session about exercise, not about unwanted obsession with food, LOL.)
That was just amazing. In the post above, I caught myself in real time in the very act of whining about this program instead of working this program. If I caught myself doing it once, presumably I've done it before. I'll try to keep that in mind, since my take on Beck is that you gotta continuously do the work to get the benefits. Just amazing. I credit all of you as my diet coach for that, since I feel you listening as I typed. Just WOW.
Sue (CoastalSue) - What is it about Beck that draws covert hippies? Back in the sixties, I wore my hair long - it stuck out on the sides like a lion's mane. I thought we were all beautiful back then. I never thought I'd get to meet a person who was in San Francisco starting it all.
hummmmm..... isn't a diet coach bringing cookies like a Gambler's Anonymous sponsor bringing lottery tickets?, LOL.
You might look in your spam folder for the response from 3FC. When I forgot my password, I got a rather prompt response from them.
Good luck on your weekend visiting.
"Shamelessly transparent" MaryBlu - Why, yes, you do come across as a person who can think outside of the box. So, can you conjure up something more compelling than "Volvap's Bell, works just the opposite of Pavlov's Bell". We can soon all be rich.
I do hope you'll share your musings about how you stopped your weight gain; I find that a terrific accomplishment. So many postings on 3FC refer to "putting it all back on and then some." It makes me believe that the real trick isn't to prevent a few pounds from returning, but to recognize that it is happening, that it can be stopped, and then to stop it. And you've done that.
Liannie - Waving. So good to see you inching your way back. Continue to hold you in my thoughts.
CammieCam - Your response to the party is so textbook working the Beck strategies. I add my double CREDIT to those you've given yourself. You:• Scouted the buffet.
• ONE plate.
• Sat down.
• No seconds.
• No desserts.
• Yes to drinks, socializing, dancing, meeting new people.
• Left the unwanted dill shrimp on the (I am SO jealous).
• Counted everything.
• Didn’t beat yourself up.
• No dinner later.
• Used a neat Response Card: "The food will be tempting, but I can resist it."
You've sent me back to reread Day 5 - Eat Slowly and Mindfully. Seems that I never finished the several days of eating with NO distractions. So, I'll have to go back and do that. I'm glad that Beck doesn't suggest that we always eat all meals with no distractions, since dinner conversation is one of the joys of a civilized life. I do the newspaper at breakfast; personal email and browsing at lunch; conversation with DW at dinner. Snacks are always while some kind of browsing or relaxing thing.
Congratulations on what you've accomplished.
I hear you about being obsessed with food; I, too, want to replace my food obsession with overeating with no food obsession without overeating. Others on this thread are working this; let's keep up the dialog and hopefully find a way.
Good luck with Christmas; seems like you're laying the ground work to achieve the first goal - to avoid feeling like you “failed yourself.” As we get closer, let's find a way to give each other support to make it a joyful and mindful day.
Readers - Reminder: There are ten days until Christmas; today is the day to send three French hens as well as yesterdays' gifts.
My name is Heidi and I have been reading your thread here and you all are so SMART and hilarious! I especially love the reverse Pavlov's bell idea! HA!
I have been doing BDS for a few months and have lost a little more than 20 lbs-yeah me! I am going really slowly through the book-started off like gangbusters and then lost a little momentum since I went on a trip last month for a week. I use most of the skills but need to revisit some of the days periodically which is fine with me if that is what I need. I am on day 34 "Problem Solving".
My biggest struggle is to get exercise in. I have a treadmill, weights and a bench step in my bedroom, bought some inexpensive clothing to use for exercise clothing and really have NO EXCUSE to not do it but the problem is that I have not scheduled it. So I am stating publicly that I will get my $&%$ out of bed on Monday morning and get on that treadmill for 20 minutes (I am starting small)...I will be skiing tomorrow so will get some exercise in tomorrow as well.
I didn't read everything that people said about WW but I had been doing WW and had great success with it. Then I found ***********...I got on that site and followed what I was eating while following WW and recording into SP to see the nutrients, etc... I like that better now-when on WW, I would eat a whole pack of SKinny Cow ice cream sandwiches since they were "only a point each". I want to learn how to eat normally and healthfully and I think that, for me, WW was like a game but really wasn't best for my health in the long run (because of the choices I was making while on it you understand).
Anyway, I am wondering if it is okay to join you-I like to have a place to check in as close to daily as I can.
I am off to bed and have written down my plan for what I will eat tomorrow and am ready to go!
I look forward to getting to know you all.... Heidi
12-16-2007, 06:02 AM
:welcome: to the Beck thread, Heidi. And :wel3fc: for your first post.
Collective blush for all of us for your kind words about the thread. Thanks for the comments.
Looking forward to your contributions to the discussions. Being on Program-day 35 - Problem Solving means you're pretty far along toward the 42 days. Congratulations for accomplishing that.
from The Beck DIET Solution – Available from Amazon thru the 3FC Store (http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionadie/detail/0848731735/104-4216363-1799918)Enrich Your Life
Do It Now• Take out your diet notebook. Make a list of goals that you’d like to accomplish before or after you lose weight. Do you want to change your job in some way? Become more computer savvy? Join a club? Meet new people? Improve relationships with family and friends? Pursue a hobby? Travel?
• Look at your list. See which of your “after weight loss” goals you could actually start working toward right away.
• Take one goal. Write down the steps you’ll need to do to accomplish it.
• Get a calendar. Mark down when you’ll do at least the first step.
• If you’re certain of how to go about working toward a goal, ask friends or family for help. Mark on your calendar when you plan to consult with them. Doing so increases the likelihood that you’ll go ahead and devise a plan.
• As you put activities on your calendar, watch for sabotaging thoughts. For example, if your goal is to get a new job, you might think, What if it doesn’t work out? What if I don’t like it? If your goal is to be more sociable, you might have such thoughts as, What if no one wants to spend time with me?
• Respond to your sabotaging thoughts in two ways: Look at the advantages and disadvantages of making this change in your life and use the Seven Question Technique on pages 199-203 [Program-day 27] to evaluate your concerns. Consult with your diet coach.
• Continue the process with a second goal.
Don’t wait. Start engaging in some of these activities as soon as possible.
Beck’s example is a client who is putting off going to the beach until she loses weight. My obvious first thought is that this chapter doesn’t pertain to me; I’m in maintenance; I go to the beach.
Ooops… Second thought is that there are some other things I put off until I had lost weight that aren’t done. So, I made my list – stopped at ten things. Yep, there’s stuff here for me.
I chose one – clearing the dining room so that it can be used for dining (duh!). (Clutter is a biggie for me.) I listed the steps. Gave today as the date for the first step, which is to remove the 21” CRT monitor that had wandered into the dining room for a project that’s since concluded. That should take about 2 minutes I thought. Then, with the thought of you guys watching, I got up and did it. Took about 2 minutes. Been sitting there for a month. Started on the Sabotaging Thoughts about not doing it before. Interrupted those with giving credit for doing it now. CREDIT moi for moving the moinitor. CREDIT moi for stuffing the sabotaging thoughts.
You know Dr. Beck, you might be onto something here.
Missed my gym and my walk yesterday, a bit disappointed, Oh Well. I interrupted my planned day to accept an invitation to go with DS to his favorite Indian food store and his favorite Middle Eastern food store, neither of which I've been to before. It was fantastic.
The Indian store had uncountable numbers of pickles and condiments and chutneys and spices and fresh vegetables that I didn't know what they were. Bought a jar of Korma sauce for DW and several others for me to make vegetable curries to take for lunch at work.
The Middle Eastern store had roasted pepper hummus, regular hummus, 10 different kinds of feta cheese, dozens of breads with killer aromas, and pomegranates bigger than grapefruits.
We could barely carry all the food we bought for under $140 total. Came home and split some of the Indian spices, replacing our stuff that was growing stale. It's easier to discard stale spices when you buy large bags for $1.99 each rather than small glass jars for $4.99 each. Described it all to DW over tea while tasting some of everything. [Ate standing, didn't put food on a plate, didn't plan the amount I was about to eat. BUT, it was a glorious social moment, and the total calories weren't much over my planned morning and afternoon snacks; I'd do it again in a heartbeat.]
I am not obsessed with food. I am not obsessed with food. I am not obsessed with food. I am not obsessed with food. I am not obsessed with food. I am not obsessed with food. I am not obsessed with food. I am not obsessed with food. I am not obsessed with food. I am not obsessed with food.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Hope your visit to the Bay Area is going well.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Looking forward to hearing how you skiing goes today. Hopefully you aren't on the East Coast since our forecast is for sleeting rain.
CammieCam - Yesterday, after pondering your efforts on Day 5 - Eat Slowly and Mindfully, I ate breakfast without reading the newspaper. Just sat, thought about each spoonful of granola, thought about how far the banana traveled to arrive at my supermarket for about a quarter, thought about how much joy I get from the dried figs that travel from California, tasted the sunflower seeds, smelled the almond aroma from the almond extract, crunched the oats, noted that the squirrel was also enjoying breakfast outside in DW's bird feeder, thought about how many layers of defense DW had constructed on that feeder that the squirrel had, one by one, overcome to sit fat and happy eating the seeds that she had put out for the birds in the snow, thought about being a Buddhist monk spending his day thinking about one bowl of food, thought about how much I wanted to be reading my newspaper and how happy I was that I only intended to do this exercise once.
Taking Buddhist monk off my list of possible second careers; mindfully is hard.
Readers - Reminder: There are nine days until Christmas; today is the day to send four calling birds as well as yesterdays' gifts.
Thanks for the welcome and the kudos on my hard work.
Nice job on removing that monitor Bill! I know the clutter thing and babysteps is what will do it-way to break it down into a 2 minute task! Totally doable.
It is funny you say that you are working on decluttering the dining room. I JUST this past week had mine decluttered enough to earn the "reward" of getting a new tablecloth and candleholder/centerpiece thingie. I am a single mom to a 5 yr old daughter and wanted to make our eating area special and make meals "events". IT WORKS! Talk about slowing down and eating.... she dressed up like a princess tonight-all blinged out to the maxx for dinner. We are even using cloth napkins to make it special. So many good things that are modeled to her too-using table manners, slowing down and making meals special is meaningful, etc... Kudos to me! :)
Skiing was GREAT!!! I live in WA state so no problem with the major dumping of snow that the midwest got today. Hope any of you in that area are all safe/mobile, etc.. I was actually taking my daughter up to learn to ski along with a friend of hers with her mom. Basically the mommies were lugging the kids up the bunny hill over and over and over and over again! I got my heart rate up and my muscles are sore tonight-I LOVE that! We are going to Mt. Bachelor for a week after Xmas so I will have more opportunity for this fun workout (although it will be even more fun when she can get up the hill on the lift and I can ski too!).
I got a new dry erase board that has the days of the week on it with boxes... I am committing to what is for dinner on that publicly visual thing..I am a big computer dweeb and love to use Outlook for scheduling, etc.. including menus. That was NOT working for me with the menus-so I am trying this. I also am posting my planned eating chart on it (it has a small corkboard section on the bottom as well). I feel so good with sore muscles and having eaten food that is nourishing and delicious tonight!
Til tomorrow, Heidi
12-17-2007, 06:00 AM
Ate on plan yesterday, including a cup of hot chocolate between bouts of shoveling snow. Working on all the food that I bought yesterday. There is a disconnect in my brain between the amount of food I plan to eat and the amount of food I want to buy. Note to brain: reconcile thyself !!!
Question: Does anyone else buy food as if they were in their old eating habits?
Much snow. Much shoveling. Shoveling was my upper body workout yesterday; I went to bed tired. After the rain fell for a while, the snow was wet and heavy to toss over the tall stacks which were the only available space to put it. It's bitter cold out there now.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Hope you made it home safely from your journey to the Bay Area.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Congratulations for decluttering your dinning room. I love your story of your daughter dressing up as a princess for dinner. Double CREDIT for you for creating the mindful dinner experience.
Glad that you went to bed with tired muscles. Sounds like your "skiing" was super fun for the daughters and great exercise for the mommies.
CREDITS for you for setting up the dry erase board so that you can plan your menu's. Hope that works.
CammieCam - Apparently, we are forming a "clear the dinning room table" club. Care to join?
Readers - Reminder: There are eight days until Christmas; today is the day to send five golden rings as well as yesterdays' gifts.
LOL!! I did get around to clearing the table, but I've decided that I just don't know if I can sit in silence at the table and eat. I just don't know if I can do it. I'll compromise with Beck... I'll sit at the table, without the computer and without the TV.. but I'll just catch up on all the magazines that have cluttered my mailbox as of late and that I have yet to read.
I know that it's something that should be done and I know that more often than not these days I'll do my best to create an environment for eating that doesn't include TOO many distractions, but silent chewing and watching my bowl of oatmeal disappear is not my idea of a fun time. I'll just move on to the next steps.
The weekend was EH. I surely did have some sabotaging thoughts that I let take over. I had a craving for the popcorn at Target, but when I got there, they didn't have any. I then proceeded to overeat popcorn at three different times and at three different locations over the weekend, probably because my craving for this specific Target popcorn had yet to be satisfied. I didn't think them not having popcorn would affect me so much, but apparently it did. But I went to bed last night and told myself "tomorrow is a new day!" And it is. I certainly don't want some popcorn craving to prevent me from reaching my goal weight, I'm SO close!
12-18-2007, 06:48 AM
Still frigid here. The residual snow is making it hard on the UPS trucks trying to catch up on Christmas deliveries - they have no place to pull off the street. If you get behind one you have to wait for him to deliver his packages.
Walked at lunch yesterday - until frigid high winds drove me back. Boy, it felt cold. Ate on plan, but missed gym due to another pressing thing. I've got this pledge in my pocket to do a full gym session and I'm having trouble scheduling gym at all. I do admire all of you parents of young kids who are keeping up with your exercise, I suspect it's a real stretch of your multi-tasking skills.
For my lunch yesterday I cooked up a big batch of curried long beans and ham using stuff from Sunday's trip to the Indian grocer. Turned out really yummy; I'll bring another batch for lunch today. Not a big deal except that I'm a beginner cook, so anything is a big deal. By "long beans" I mean those green beans that are about 18 inches long, I don't know their real name.
Feeling the pressure to get Christmas shopping started.
CammieCam - OK, your dining room table is already cleared, LOL. It helps me to know that you also find it a stretch to eat with full attention only on your oatmeal. I tried this morning, the frigid cold led me to my first oatmeal of the year. I thought of the oats, then the (formerly) frozen blueberries. Then of the oats, then of the blueberries. Then about how long this was going to go on. Then about getting a banana to balance it out. Then about everything else in my life. Yep, mindfully is difficult!!!
"The weekend was EH." What does EH stand for? LOL, doesn't sound good. It's kinda interesting that you craved exactly Target popcorn. Boy, can cravings be specific. Wonder what Target puts in it ?
Readers - Reminder: There are seven days until Christmas; today is the day to send six geese a-laying as well as yesterdays' gifts.
Hi Folks and welcome Heidi! I am on Day 3 of the Beck book and I observe that I am the most rebellious person I know. I will give myself credit for following several of her suggestions and I wonder why I will not commit the time and effort to follow through on others. I am telling myself that I will gather helpful tools as I move forward and can always go back and pick up the other tools as I am ready to apply them. Do I need a shrink? I do not understand why I am so stubborn. If anyone has any insights about these hurtles I would appreciate your sharing them. Arrgh.
12-18-2007, 09:42 PM
Hello to all,
Some great posting which I need to catch up with.
Yep, mindful slow eating is a pain-but I have the knack to eat HUGE amounts of food without even realizing it. I go into a caloric blackout state so to slow down and eat aware has been one of best and easiest changes for me in my own home, but can easily slip into a caloric feeding frenzy at social gatherings. Since it takes all of my consciousness to focus on changing my old eating ways. I think that I slip in to my old habits when out and about. But one huge change is I am better able to deal with my emotions with out over eating when at home. There I work on that everything does pass-anger, hunger, sadness, fatigue with out eating, But at a gathering I get into to let the good times roll attitude or at least I am paying to everyone else and likely what I am going to say next that I can’t seem to remain on food alert and would rather be relaxed enjoying all of the festivities. Seems to be a consistent problem for me.
SuchATwin-I also am a very slow processor thru the book-I kind of have both Diet and Beck plateaus and then I make more progress again. Give yourself credit for just reading the advantage cards. I understand what you called rebelliousness at times I felt I had a little girl in me stomping her feet that she worked so hard to follow everyone else rules that no one was going to tell her what she could eat. It was like what and when she ate was one of few areas of control and nobody was going to tell her what to do. It has taken me a bit of time to work that attitude thru-not being mad at feeling rebellious but rather accepting the attitude and telling the little girl that now it is time to get healthy. I know this sound a bit goofy but that is what I have working on-along with a ton of other unwise food attitudes.
Heidi, loved how you turned dinner into such a celebration- and your daughter dressing up for it. I have to remember to clear our dinning room table of clutter of mail, magazines ect and use the placemats and light the candles more often. Skiing sounds like so much fun-love being outdoors and in the mountains.!
CammieCam-I had one of those crazed craving eposides after I went to the local bakery-didn't get any treats but then the taste got "burned" in lusting part of my brains for days. For days all i wanted was some baked good. I managed not to get one, but literally I thought about over and over again at the oddest times. Anybody knows what works for this mental food complusion.-At times out of sight does not work for me at all.
BillBlueEyes-Learning to food shop in a different way. For awhile we had three teenagers sons-all in sports- the amount of food was increditable, then they moved away and we still got too much for years, then changing the types of food still too much-Only during the last 6 months have I really undertood how little we need and how I want the amount we do have to be fresh. All that measuring out what 4 oz of meat sure makes it goes alot futher. Glad you are enjoying cooking. Your middle eastern store sounds great. I have cooked for so long-started making the family meals at 13yrs that I was getting very bored doing it and started hated to do it. So now I work at being mindful while chopping, dicing and cooking. Instead of thinking oh I got 12 more step before I am finished, I now try to enjoy each step. It is sort of working. Plus I have actually enjoyed new veggie and soup dishes with all of the produce deliveries.
That weather sounds tough for you folks-shoveling snow-WORK
We had a great time with family and our youngest grand daughter-what a joy.
I did my common pattern of overeating when out. But already today I am back counting cals and have a low cal dinner planned. I thank Beck for the tools to so I get right back on the diet versus beating myself up and continue on over eating for months. I Did drink much less wine than any other time in the bay area. It is now no longer such a common habit-I appreciate it hard for Dh not to have wine with fish or some meats but he is a good sport.
Take care and best wishes to all
12-19-2007, 12:21 AM
Hello everyone, hope you all don't mind if I jump in and join this thread.
I bought this book a couple months ago and am still trying to stick with it!
Coastalsue - I know that little girl who stomps and doesn't want to give in very, very well! I think part of me is afraid that this won't work, and I'll be disappointed with yet another failed plan.. :o But, if I never try then I am definitely putting myself at a disadvantage. I'm having the most trouble with eating everything sitting down. I never realized until then how much I was eating with my hands, while standing up. I just randomly pick at things. This also will usually lead to a binge for me, especially if I convince myself I can have "one little nibble" of (insert any sugary or carby food here). :D
I have definitely conditioned myself to respond to certain emotions and actions in very predictable ways - with food. I am hoping the beck diet solution will help me pull out those mental response cards so I can start to change my behavior.
So, I'm going to read my advantages list tonight and tomorrow morning!
Quick question - for those of you that work - do you carry your response cards with you?
12-19-2007, 01:52 AM
I can relate to the rebelliosness. Something about this program is different for me though. I think of it as "tough love" that I couldn't/wouldn't take from a person! I am choosing to use the tools. It helps that I have had cognitive behavioral therapy before with a therapist to deal with some other things in my life... it REALLY helped fix things from the inside out and enabled me to see things with better perspective. So, I had faith before I began this-moreso than with other angles I have taken to lose weight.
What do the little icons below our profiles mean? Like the egg with yolk yellowed in? At the red exclamation point?
I am about done reading the book...who else has finished reading it? What did you do after that? I have lots of reading material that is inspiring to me and am thinking that I can pick that stuff up and also keep the BDS book handy to use as needed (for problem solving or tune ups of other skills). I would love to hear how others have dealt with or are dealing with this. The training wheels are coming off! :)
12-19-2007, 04:58 AM
:welcome: tofulover to the Beck thread, and :wel3fc: to being a poster on 3FC.
Not only do we not mind, we're glad you're here. Just jump in wherever you like.
from The Beck DIET Solution – Available from Amazon thru the 3FC Store (http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionadie/detail/0848731735/104-4216363-1799918)You’ve now learned the skills you need to continue losing weight and to keep it off. You just have to keep practicing these skills – over and over and over – especially after you’ve reached your goal weight. In fact, you’ll use some of the techniques for your entire life. Doing so is the key to continued success. The reason you regained weight in the past is that you didn’t have these strategies. Now, you do.
Here are lists of techniques that you’re learned, along with a guide for how often you should use them. I hope you’ve already found that you’re doing some of these things automatically and that they’ve made dieting easier.
Do these activities daily:• Eat a healthful diet with limited calories.
• Think about what you’re eating before you actually put it in your mouth.
• Sit down whenever you eat and then eat slowly and mindfully.
• Eat only to mild fullness.
• Monitor your eating throughout the day.
• Give yourself credit.
• Do spontaneous exercise.
• Respond to sabotaging thoughts.
Do these activities between once a day and once a week: • Weigh yourself at least once a week (daily, if you prefer).
• Discuss your weight change and dieting experiences with your diet coach at least once a week.
• Do planned exercise at least three times a week.
• Continue to make sure that you have enough time and energy to devote to dieting.
• Read your Advantage Response Card as needed.
• Use anti-craving techniques.
• Use the Seven Question Technique when you’re upset.
• Prepare yourself psychologically for special-occasion eating.
• Do problem solving to reduce stress.
• Take steps to enrich your life.
Do these activities as often as needed (once a day, once a week, or less often, but certainly whenever you’re in danger of straying from your diet): • Plan and monitor what you eat.
• Read your Response Cards.
Once I create a consistent routine of using my weight-loss skills, dieting will be easier.
The today’s to-do list … of this chapter [not entered here] is the one I use every day; it’s a superset of all the ones in the previous chapters and it's similar to, but different from the lists above. I entered it in an Excel spreadsheet where I read it and check off compliance or non compliance so I can see at a glance how I’ve been doing. Beck suggests doing the checklist daily for several weeks, weekly for several weeks, and then monthly for a very long time; these recommended frequencies are also similar to, but slightly different from the recommendations above. Both are vague enough for me to choose how often I do do them, so the differences don't matter to me. I’m still in the daily phase.
To complete the description of how I handle all the paper work of TBDS (TMI really), I have my Response Cards in another page of the spreadsheet where I read them daily. On a third page I enter my daily measured weight, pedometer step count, and measured percent body fat which are automatically plotted. My journal is in Microsoft Word where I track compliance with my eating plan and exercise plan. The paperwork required for TBDS led to an early Sabotaging Thought: Too much paperwork; I’ll never keep up with that.
Helpful Response: Using Excel as describedIt works for me; I’m comfortable using my computer first thing each morning and it works for me to view my data as charts.
"Completed" 41 days of the book; I'm beginning to feel that I'll make it to the end.
Yesterday I walked and did a short gym session. Ate on plan without incident. A box of Christmas goodies arrived in the mail; we stuck then back in the box for Christmas dinner with the kids They're out of sight.
Bought our Christmas tree last night, only 6 feet tall but beautifully round and full - our shortest in 30 years. Will have to deal with the kids verbal disapproval ("parents are supposed to always have a BIG tree.") Of course, their memory of the size of a tree is from their young childhood when the tree seemed HUMONGOUS. Ordered some books from Amazon for 2 day delivery. I'm starting to get the spirit. Apparently, I still need a little more time pressure to get the shopping completed, LOL.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Glad that you're working on the "caloric blackout state" when in social situations. Hoping you figure it out so I can learn from you.
Your weekend sounds like a success. Thanks for the reminder of how much food it takes to feed teenagers. Even now, when we have them for dinner, I have to remember that they no longer consume the vast quantities of food that they did as teens.
SuchAtwin - "Do I need a shrink?" LOL, if you do, then we all do. I feel the same about being told what to do. Beck doesn't push my buttons too much because her strategies are so transparent. I feel that I choose to use them. I don't feel like she has a secret agenda to impose on me.
tofulover - Boy, I'm in the same boat with a learned response to certain emotions: food. The Beck strategies are helping me. For example, yesterday at work the thought struck me that I REALLY wanted a snack. I actually asked myself why. I was tense about getting a task done. So I took a small step toward finishing that task and was diverted from my hunger. Working for me sometimes, and getting better.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - I'm 41/42nds through with the book, then perhaps I'll use it as you described, for reference. Maybe review some chapters that I've not really "completed" like the Seven Questions Technique.
You asked: "What do the little icons below our profiles mean? Like the egg with yolk yellowed in? At the red exclamation point? "The bottom of this page explains the eggs and yolks next to forums: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/index.php
The bottom of this page explains the envelops: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=10
I can't find a similar description for the question you asked. However, it works for me to move the cursor over the icon and an explanation appears. For example, the yolk inside the egg means the person is currently logged on.
Readers - Reminder: There are six days until Christmas; today is the day to send seven swans a-swimming as well as yesterday's gifts.
Good morning everyone.
It is great to see so many posts here.
I have been gone for a little while as my father has lung cancer and have been dealing with doctors and things like that. I think he is in competent hands now so am planning to take care of me. I find when I don't have the BDS workbook in sight I am not as mindful with my eating. I have decided I need to take it with me every where. I have still remained sitting when I eat. So I should give myself credit for that.
Part of me wants to say oh I will not worry until after Christmas, but that was what made me gain weight in the first place.
I do hope you are all doing well and I am going back to read all the posts.
Have a wonderful day everyone.
12-19-2007, 11:53 PM
It is hard to return to the Beck routine. But I did pre record the day's menus, recorded what I ate, meditated and did a sit and be fit DVD. It is now 7:30 my time and I think I am hungry (actually don't think I am hunger but want more to eat. Anyway back to working the program!! The "little" girl who over indulged had a great time for awhileknows it is back to healthy reality. I truly want to be thinner. Now I have to endure the overindulgence wants for the next couple of days.
I sure need everyone's posting to keep me on task.
Ann,so sorry to hear about your dad's illiness. I hope for the best for him and your family.
BillBlueEyes-I truly believe your posting about recording everything helped me to record my menu today. Thanks for your guidance to help us stay on target. Good for you to still get a fresh tree, I use my mom's small ceramic one and a fresh wreath as we no longer have a tree. Sounds like your family will all get together on Christmas-wonderful. Our boys come up in shifts-eventually see everyone one just not on the same day.
One of the best things to Beck is that is not all or nothing but step by step. Even when I over eat, I still can do things to keep working on the foundation of change-i.e. doing the exercises. recording all the food I ate even if the cals are close to 2000 for the day. I get credit for at least recording the data. For me I find I need alot of practice to consistantly follow the practice- I am a champ of doing it home and without restaint when others. So I just keep redoing the exercises and working on why can't I behave out of the house.
Hope everyone's holiday plans are working out-
12-19-2007, 11:57 PM
I don't feel worthy to welcome the new posters......... I feel like a "slacker" saying that....I am a Beck believer.....but there are some people here who are Beck "deliverers".......obviously BillBlueEyes is delivering.......and I count others in this thread as delivering, too.....and thanks to all for your wisdom.
I am treading water for now...getting back into the discipline that is involved in a life change.........again, I have to point to BBE and Coastal Sue, so willing to share their daily lives, struggles, and triumphs, ....and many of the rest as well...........everyone who has had that "aha" moment, and shared it.......everyone has been inspirational....I have posted before, when I read Beck, it "clicked" and I have the plan to follow.......and if I needed a second, I would name one.....but for now, I am treading water........2 or 3 days of good, healthy living, and then, I think......I deserve a break today......believe me when I say that is NOT McDonald's, but stilll......... it is easy to stray
We still have lots to discuss, and lots of wisdom to share......and lots of struggles to overcome...which brings me to Beck......and how she really does "get it".......with this time of year, and food EVERYWHERE..and how your head just turns because IT IS THERE!!! And then you DO resist it, but get home and give in...........to something far less tasty, just BECAUSE!!!..just because it is there, and you resisted something else.....
All I can say is, let's just hang together, be honest, and BE HERE!!
12-20-2007, 07:06 AM
Put in 20541 steps yesterday, about 10 miles, the most in three months. CREDIT moi. That included walking to the local Thai restaurant where I had Pad Thai, perhaps a little caloric, but not a huge serving, good enough for eating out. CREDIT moi.
However, that also included walking to Whole Foods, which was a problem - again. It's easy to record my samplings because they had a printed menu!!
Whole Foods Elegant Entertaining - Storewide Sampling Event:
o Seafood: Crabmeat Stuffed Portobello
o Specialty: Fromage en Croute – Savory pastry appetizer with gruyere cheese and asparagus
o Meat: Chateaubriand – Beef tenderloin stuffed with wild mushrooms
o Prepared Foods: Petite Crab Cakes, Shrimp and Goat Cheese Strudel
o Bakery: Profiteroles – Cream filled pastries drizzled with chocolate
o Whole Body: Jarrow Pomegranate Martini Spritzers with 4 blue berries on a toothpick
o Produce: Portobello Mushroom with Caramelized Onions and Goat Cheese
o Grocery: Fondant du Chocolate – Decadent Chocolate Torte with Aldens Vanilla Ice Cream
o Customer Service: Peppermint Bark – Dark chocolate with white chocolateI will spend some time today thinking of reasons why accepting every single one of these items, without question or hesitation, was rational. Did I mention that they were all FREE? And handed to me by a smiling, nice person? With whom I chatted about the ingredients? That they were tiny samples (a portion of a profiterole, for example)? And that I had a piece of grapefruit at the front of the store before I caught on what was about to happen? I'm beginning to detect a pattern here.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Congrats for getting back on track. I think that's the most important step for a healthy lifestyle. LOL at the the "little" girl who over indulged. Would you diet coach me here on my Whole Foods indulgence? Am I ignoring the start of the slippery slope or am I just enjoying an occasional good thing?
MaryBlu - You describe so well one of the great pot holes: eating well, then coming home and, with defenses lowered, eating off plan. That's a tough one to beat. I so identify with that; I remain embarrassed that all of my pounds were not accumulated by Chateaubriand or Fromage en Croute, but cellophane wrapped Oreo's and oatmeal raisin cookies. Methinks Beck would give you great credit for taking the first step of acknowledging the issue with your 3FC co-Beckers. You're moving. Keep the faith.
tofulover - You asked, "Quick question - for those of you that work - do you carry your response cards with you?" Yes, I have my Response Cards with me at work - on my computer where they are easy for me to access during the day.
Ann (Newlifestyle) - My continued prayers and best wishes for your father, Ann. I hope the new "competent hands" treat him well. Congratulations for your decision to continue taking care of yourself even during the stressful holidays.
Readers - Reminder: There are five days until Christmas; today is the day to send eight maids a-milking as well as yesterday’s gifts.
[Kindly ignore the number in the title of this post; there's such a thing as too many swans a-swimming.]
Thanks for your kind thoughts.
I hope everyone has a great day.
Bill, wow, day 41 you are doing awesome. I don't have any solution for not snacking on all the food. I guess you could look at the samples before leaving home and then decide how much you have to exercise to make it okay to sample things. Make them planned instead of unplanned. I know I can't even have one sample at say Costco or I can't stop I think it is my right to sample every thing. Good luck with that one. Way to go on all those steps.
Sue that is awesome you are back on track. I hope you have a great day.
Maryblu, wow, I did that yesterday. I was so good not having any treats while out. When I got home I did great once I finished doing everything I needed to do and then sat down I went and got a bag of chips, who knows why, and proceeded to eat them. I had much healthier snacks. The thing that bothers me is I wasn't hungry at all. Yikes.
Cammie I like reading about your adventures on Beck. I am going to live vicariously through you these next few days, I feel like I am treading water so as I watch what you post it helps me to stay mindful with my journey. I hope that makes sense.
Tofulover, I too have my response cards. They do help me especially the "Do it anyway one.". For some reason I can figure out an excuse not to do many things. That is why I like that one.
I do hope you all have a great day. You all have awesome posts here.
Thank you. I realize, I need all these posts to help me through this time.
I do appreciate you all.
12-20-2007, 10:08 PM
OMG, BBE. 20,541 steps.....the # to beat. I realize you didn't post it as a challenge, but I took it as one.....I am not even sure of my top record, but it was no where near by a few thousand. I think that # "bought" you a few cheese blintzes....or even better, goodies at Whole Foods. I just think you need to make it part of your plan! You aren't going to make all those goodies and eat a bunch. Plan it, eat it, enjoy it and walk to it!!! :-)
Dr. Oz said one day that Amish men regularly take 17,000 steps per day and the obesity rate among Amish men is 2%...so, I now have a # to beat.....and of course, an average # per day to bump up, but it feels SO GOOD, doesn't it?
I must warn you all, I cheat. I do......pace in place at my desk, or if on cell phone and don't need to write, I walk the hallway. When I go down into the basement for any reason, laundry loads, getting things from the freezer or other 'fridge, I go down and right back up again..think I should get double credit for going up stairs twice, especially when not necessary, but I haven't found a way to fudge that yet. And get this.......this is WAY cheating, I know, but when I ride horse, I wear my pedometer......and it doesn't record walking steps, but trotting and galloping bumps up the steps....rightly so, I say, SOMEONE is moving. Truly, galloping burns calories for me, too...it does!
So, beware, BillBlueEyes, I am up for the challenge!
CoastalSue, I am glad you are back with us and back on track. That is all any of us can do.
Newlifestyle, I am keeping you close in thoughts and prayers for your dad. I am glad for his being in competent hands. One of network news casts ran a story tonight about how cancer patients without insurance don't get treatment; it was maddening as well as sad.
To all: Merry Christmas! I never get tired of saying that....happy holidays, blessings, joy!
12-21-2007, 01:45 AM
Hi to everyone,
We all get alot of credit for posting during this busy time!
Another day I followed my eating plan, did an exercising dvd-Yeah
Hope the weather is treating everyone OK. We may have some frost tonight-this is as close to a season change here on the coast.-just can not get into that outdoor pool even if it is heated.
Maryblu and billBlueEyes-love how you guys walk and move. Keep it up. 10 miles-WOW!
BillBlueEyes-What an honest question about how to enjoy those occassional indulgences. What a treat- everything sounded yummy-plus free instead of $3.00 a plate tapas. Enjoy- estimate the calories and then have less food during the day. I have an occassional drink and then cut out a starch-i.e. sweet potatoe.
I record all that I eat on FitDay and double check where I am prior to dinner and if I made a change I make sure to reduce dinner so that I stay in the calore count. Now I have to learn to record while out with friends and family. I feel like I would look a dork with a notebook and calore counting book-plus it seems like a party pooper to be noting what I am eating. Sort of like people who moralize about their food choices or brag about their highly sensitive palete-especially if it is a under handed critique of the food. I absolutely hate drawing attention to the fact I am dieting- then everyone says just this once have some ???.. It is a party! enjoy your self! ect.
Other times i wonder if I am so strict at home, that I go into the twilight zone when eating socially-that little girl loves to party! Like if guests bring the wine there isn't any calorie in that bottle? I have worked thru so much emotional eating except that feeling that a party and/or a celebration need food/drink. Yesterday we had such a great time, saw old friends, got great gifts-made some cool stuff,- I wanted a martini to celebrate what a great day it was.
My dream is that I can eat like the French-enjoy quality food, cheese, pasteries, pasta, wines and keep everthing in very small portions along with the veggies and salads. I want to learn to consistently eat about 1400-1600 cal a day. I want a wide range of flavors but few processed foods with corn sweetners in them-I can get addicted to those. I think a meal of just the samples would be great.
ann good to hear from you. Take care and be kind to yourself as you support your family members.
big wave to everyone-Cammiecam, Heidi, Suchatwin, and Tofulover -I know heck of a busy time hope all is well.
12-21-2007, 01:47 AM
Hi there everyone,
I need to bring the response cards OUT more often. I have them in my purse in a baggie... I justify not looking at them by thinking that I THINK them at the right times but I am having a hard time exercising taht resistance muscle the last two days and need to have those cards more easily accessible to read. Tonight I was at my best friend's house and she had all kinds of xmas cookies and chocolates out...I KNOW better...I was just going to "have one" of these yummy shortbread with choc chips and coconut numbers that I love.... I went into the evening with no solid plan for dinner other than I wanted to eat lots of veggies (thinking that we would be going out to dinner with our daughters and that I would have salad). No...sooo.... I am cooking tonight-making a healthy/veggie filled pasta dish that is really tasty. I can have that for dinner tomorrow night. I am also going to make some soup to have for lunch.
So..onward and forward! I may just start over with the whole book again just to reinforce things and practice things that I don't use on a daily basis...
Thanks to Bill for listing the excel option for organizing all of your BDS stuff. I use my computer a lot for journaling and I put my reasons for losing weight into outlook that comes up everyday three times for me to read. I use *********** to record what I have eaten and all of my exercies. I love that site and it is free. It is easy to see the nutrient breakdown of what I have eaten.
Til tomorrow, Heidi
12-21-2007, 06:43 AM
Ate on plan including a group lunch and a company Christmas Party dinner. CREDIT moi. Walked enough, traded gym for shoveling snow as required to reclaim my street parking space and clear my driveway for DW's car. Both CREDIT moi and Oh Well.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Thanks for your thoughts about my Whole Foods' tapas. I think you're right; it happens infrequently enough that I'll add up the calories and just enjoy. I do wish that in restaurants one could enjoy so many good tastes in such small portions.
Expanding your imagery: "into the twilight zone when eating socially-that little girl loves to party!" - love it. It is like a twilight zone where the laws of physics no longer apply.
MaryBlu - I concede to MaryBlu wearing a pedometer while riding a horse. What a kick. I wonder how many steps a Pony Express rider would count in a day. Your pacing about during the day sounds like good exercise to me.
Ann (Newlifestyle) - "planned instead of unplanned" is exactly the way to go. If I plan that I'll do tapas at Whole Foods, then I will avoid the guilt trap that leads to spiraling down, and I can adjust eating elsewhere to account for the calories. Just to remind me to keep my ego in check and allow my body to determine its own path, the scale read down 2 pounds this morning, despite eating out 5 times for the last 4 meals. That's just anti-water weight and will jitter back up, but it does keep me humble that I'm not in charge of the minutia.
tofulover, CammieCam, SuchAtwin - Waving, hope all is going well during the holiday mayhem.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - "Veggie filled pasta dish" sounds yummy. I'll be right over, LOL. Congrats on your fast recovery from the cookies at your friend's house. Am intrigued that you are happy using *********** to record your eating. I googled '***********' and was told to try different keywords, LOL. Perhaps you could try leaving the most important Response Card out of the baggie so that it is easier to grab. Sometimes I get unblocked by removing very tiny barriers.
Readers - Reminder: There are four days until Christmas; today is the day to send nine ladies dancing as well as yesterday’s gifts.
HA-I get it now that this site doesn't want other sites listed. I am NOT trying to advertise for anyone, just happy with what I am doing. We shall call it the "mystery program"... if that that "sparks" some interest in some "people". (dot com) then that is great.
Yes, good idea to move the important cards out of the baggy...or keep them in the book and take only the ones that are most likely to apply to the day. Or maybe a tattoo??? :) I really love the verbage of becoming unblocked from small barriers. That puts it in perspective.
So today is better as far as me staying on my eating plan. Yee haw!! In the spirit of "CREDITING MOI", I ate on plan, exercised, gave credit to myself, drank lots of water and am planning my food for tomorrow (including for when I go to a party). Eating out is my hardest issue right now. Luckily, tomorrow's party is an open house from 3-7 pm. We will go at 3 after eating something filling and healthy (my veggie/pasta number comes to mind!) and then eating dinner at my dad's house which is always healthy.
Yes, I really wish that restaurants offered small tastes of lots of tasty things.
I must go to sleep now... I love reading everyone's successes and challenges and being able to post my stuff each day for feedback and/or nonjudgmental ears (eyes I guess?). Thanks all!
12-22-2007, 02:28 AM
Still followed food plan! Yeah
this is really becoming a countdown before Christmas-it is a bit scary how little time left and how many gifts left to make-
Still thinking about my overindulgent behavior when with others. Just got a book from the library called Mindless Eating by Brian Wansink-I had to get a book with that title. Just started it and found some of the experiments interesting-really looking at serving sizes The larger the portions size the more people eat even if the food isn't good. I do think your samples of fun foods are a great meal replacement. Even giving you the menu helped you slow down and know what you were eating. Tonight I did put my chili in a really small bowl. I have used ramikins at times for portions-plus two ramikins and meat looks like a lot verus piles of stuff by the meat. The book mentions in American we eat until we are full while others cultures eat until not hunger.
I always do better following rules when it makes sense that it is correct. The book may give me more reasons for some of Beck rules I have a hard time with. The author does show that mindless eating is very common and has many factors which are all part of the act. We make about 200 food choices each day. I do know that pre planning really does help me follow the menu. this sort of book takes away the guilt and feeling of inadequancy about being in not always being control and helps get new ideas of what to look for when I am having trouble.
Heidi, what is the web site you use to record-I just see a bunch of ****** when I read the posting. I understand the downfall of not having a menu plan for one thing lower cals tends to mean lots of veggies and salad green which means cleaning, chopping and dicing.-it is so much quicker and easier to pop some processed food into the microwave. Credit to you for cooking after a long day.
I am like you looking for clue to help me stay on track when eating with others- I have had the cards posted on the refrig and on the table To me reading the cards is a private act-hard to do in front of others. I think once Beck mentioned wearing a rubber band or some thing like that to remind yourself to not implusively eat. Let me know what works.
12-22-2007, 06:47 AM
from The Beck DIET Solution – Available from Amazon thru the 3FC Store (http://astore.amazon.com/3fatchionadie/detail/0848731735/104-4216363-1799918)Congratulations! You've learned the Cognitive Therapy skills you need to think like a thin person. The longer you use these new thinking skills, the more automatic they'll become. Dieting will continue to get easier and easier. Do you remember the differences in thinking between naturally thin people and people who struggle with dieting, which were described on pages 34-41? Your thinking has fundamentally changed in the past six weeks. If you ever find yourself slipping back to your old way of thnking, review "Reminders to Think Thin" on the facing page.
Reminders to Think Thin:
If you think ... I hadn't planned to eat this food, but I'm hungry. I have to eat right now!
Remind yourself... Barring a medical problem, I don't need to eat. I just want to eat. But I want all the benefits of weight loss much more than I want the momentary pleasure of eating.
If you think ... Even though I've finished everyting on my plate, I want to keep eating. I like feeling really full.
Remind yourself... Trying to become overly full is a habit that is likely to lead to weight gain. I need to stop when the food I've planned to eat is gone. My hunger will subside withing 20 minutes.
If you think ... It's okay to eat this [unplanned food] because: everyone else is eating it; it'll go to waste; it was free; I'm celebrating; I'm upset; I really want it; I don't care; it won't matter.
Remind yourself... It's not okay to eat this; I'm just trying to fool myself. Every single time I eat something I'm not supposed to, I strengthen my giving-in muscle and weaken my resistance muscle.
If you think ... I can't believe the scale has gone up! This is terrible! I'll never be able to lose weight.
Remind yourself... My weight is supposed to go up sometimes. I should continue with the Beck Diet Solution program and wait two weeks before assuming there is a problem.
If you think ... It's not fair that I can't eat normally and have what everyone else is eating.
Remind yourself... I''m now eating normally for a person who has a goal to lose weight. It would be even more unfair if I let feeling of unfairness keep me from becoming thinner.
If you think ... Now that I've lost weight, I can stop being so careful.
Remind yourself... If I want to keep the weight off, I need to use the techniques I've learned for the rest of my life. If I don't continue to maintain my new mindset and eating behaviors, I'll invariably gain back weight.
Remember that you'll hit rough patches from time to time. All dieters occasionally give in to cravings, forget to give themselves credit, or neglect to follow their food plan. All dieters occasionally question whether losing weight is worth the time and effort. Whenever you hit a rough patch, go back to this book. Flip through each day of the program, reread the passages you need, and start doing the relevant tasks again.
Good reminders for me. The biggest, for me, are:
o I have learned strategies here; I can use them.
o I will have rough spots; I can keep going.
o My current eating is normal for a person who wishes to maintain weight.
OK, finally posted the 42nd Program-day. YAHOOO. CREDIT moi. It feels really good, but it reminds me clearly that I am to work these strategies to eat normally for me. The work lies ahead. My thanks to all who have read through my typed quotes from Beck's eloquent book and posted discussions. I am also reminded that my selected quotes are a reminder of what's in the book; they are a poor substitute for reading the book. After the holidays I'll post some quotes from the last two chapters; they're important for me. Don't go away.
Today DS and his GF will cook a Turducken in my kitchen for a party tonight. That'll be my first, and I get to see it prepared. Interesting to note that I have a visual image of having a modest serving. If it were a honey glazed ham, I would have a mental image of eating as much as I could. Could that be because I've never had Turducken but have previously pigged out many times on a BIG attractive ham?
My Diet Coaches: - I did a full set of exercises at the gym, as I had promised. CREDIT moi. I thought of dozens of reasons to cut it short; having to report to you guys helped me. I rewarded myself with a protein shake afterwards, feeding that part of me that still believes that I'm going to build muscle mass (I'm well passed that 20 year old muscle building body time).
Sue (CoastalSue) - It's encouraging that you like Mindless Eating. One commenter suggested that if you wanted Mindful, go read some Buddhist writings. Please keep telling us what it says.
And thanks for suggesting ramekins; the small serving dish idea is so easy to do and easy to forget its power.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - What a great idea: "Or maybe a tattoo???" :rofl: What do you have in mind? Right on the forehead? Perhaps:Do not Feed
Will Eat When Hungry
Your Need to Push Food is Not MY Problem
Driven to VegetablesCongrats for being on plan, giving yourself credit, and planning today.
Readers - Reminder: There are three days until Christmas; today is the day to send ten lords a-leaping as well as yesterday’s gifts.
Happy holidays to your all-I have appreciated all of your input here-It has really helped me lose weight and most importantly not return to the old ways when I do over indulge. You all are a witty, fun and thoughtful group-thanks for being here!!
BillBlueEyes-what a great gift to yourself and us to have finished the Beck book-thanks so much for sharing all of your insights!! I hope you continue to post during 2008. As the group mentor we still need you, but you may be ready to move on-thanks to you!
The crunch is really on at our household-Many meals to make, transport, and to attend with family and friends. There is a strong possiblilty that I may not post again until 12-26-07. I shall return even if missing for the next 3-4 days.
I really like the "Mindless Eating" book-He goes over those factors which we use to judge when we are done eating-almost always external clues versus internal ones. I get credit today as my Dh wanted go to his favorite place for breakfast- I order my egg omlette and a "to go plate" at the same time-as soon as it came I place 1/2 into the to go dish and covered it. I actually was no longer hungry just eating half and cancelling the toast. I am really working at not being full but just no longer hungry as the sign to stop. We had a great time there as the place is closing down from tomarrow until mid Feb. So glad we were there-
Wansink-the author of the book even goes into what makes a comfort food-men tend to like Pizza-they like the taste good and makes them fill full-also often they like a sense of being pampered, taken care of. Women tend to like "hassle free foods" ice cream. cookies, chocolate-no prep and no clean up afterwards. For me it is so true that a comfort food is one when I don't have to work at it. Some research shows that people often go for comfort foods to celebrate, feel good, reward themselves more than using them to fight depression.
Bill, I am in a buddhist study group which meets bimonthly, meditate regularly and still occassionally binge-I need more tools all the time. I have gained a great deal of patience, understanding, compassion and lessening of my negative emotions by studying buddhism, but I always like logical reasoning over rules. I can rebel against some of Beck rules, they are actually correct but I do better understanding what makes me binge than just the rule of DO NOT BINGE. I find much of "Mindless Eating" explain those factors which lead people to overeat. I am learning to eat only to hungry instead of full and how important to limit the visual portions
I still want to be a skinny woman living in France with a love of food but understanding of quality not quanity for food and wines. Laiser Les Bons Temps Roulez.
12-22-2007, 11:12 PM
Thank you, thank you, Coastal Sue, for reminding me about Mindless Eating: I definitely need to read it! It may be the final bit of wisdom, insight I need. You Staying Young has been very enlightening; Beck is the tool to make it all a habit.
BillBlueEyes, I can't imagine this thread without you. You ARE going to stay with us, aren't you??
We are picking up new wisdom from new friends; I know this thread will remain vital to us all.
Merry Christmas, and great joy for the holidays..
12-23-2007, 01:09 AM
Okay, I love the tattoo "do not feed"...lol.... whatever it takes huh?
I hear you Sue-trying to get to the bottom of WHY I eat is important. I do believe that Beck touches on this with the types of thinking and some of the problem solving but a lot is left to us to figure it out. I really do tend to go that way about most things-I do NOT like being told what to do, especially without knowing WHY. Before doing this program, I had read Overcoming Overeating and had resolved to "never diet again"... I wanted to live in the real world with food and learn how to eat in moderation. That is still my goal and I call what I am doing now "Intentional eating" with that end in mind. The truth is that, if I want to lose weight, I need to pay close attention to what I am eating and do the tough love on myself of "no choice" or "no binging" or whatever it is... We want this to be for a lifetime and it is difficult since many of us are trying to break some really strong habits/tendancies. I love the idea of eating to "not hungry anymore" instead of "full". I am going to pay attention to that tomorrow.
I thought that I was being so sneaky and writing the website that I record everything on in my previous post... it is "spark" and then "people" with no spaces and then dot com. Take it or leave it. :)
I took what Billblueyes said about keeping this group in mind when thinking about overeating and it helped! I went to a festivus party (did anyone else watch Seinfeld years ago?) and did just great. I allotted 200 calories to food at the party and ate my great lunch and great dinner before and after the party. I drank lots of water and socialized a lot and had a fine time.
12-23-2007, 07:08 AM
It's December 23rd - Happy Festivus everybody. [Should you not be familiar with the "Holiday for the rest of us" as made popular by Seinfeld Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus) can help.]
Ate on plan; have to brag that I've kept to plan for 5 restaurant/party situations in 5 days. Walked. Did some Christmas shopping. CREDIT moi.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Thanks for the encouraging words. But not to worry, I'm here for the duration; my goal is to made 5 years in maintenance to meet the statistic that those who maintain for 5 years tend to keep the weight off permanently. I might follow your lead into Mindless Eating sometime next year after I've absorbed The Beck Diet Solution. It would be great to overcome my lifelong obsession with food - and then to overcome my newly found obsession with books about food and eating. LOL, I have this negative image of myself in an assisted living facility at the age of 90 reading books about overcoming my obsession with food and how to get a rock hard six pack.
Have a great Christmas with all your cooking and gatherings: "Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler Mindfully"
MaryBlu - "We are picking up new wisdom from new friends" Indeed we are. I'm looking forward to the people just starting the book to initiate posts about the early chapters - and take us through the whole book again.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Kudos for your planned eating at your Festivus Party (and thanks for reminding me to celebrate it). What a textbook demonstration of how to do it.:) I like your phrase "Intentional eating". I might steal that to use sometimes instead of Mindful Eating which invokes, for me, the thought of being more enlightened in Buddhism than I would claim to be.
Readers - Reminder: There are two days until Christmas; today is the day to send eleven pipers piping as well as yesterday’s gifts.
Good morning everyone. I do hope you all have a wonderful holiday and that you feel good about yourself. There are so many positive things we have all done this year. Let us remember those things.
I am extremely busy and that is making me crazy ( or should I say crazier).
Happy holidays to all.
Thanks for all you do. I appreciate each of you.
12-23-2007, 10:02 AM
I'm here... thanks for checking up on me. :)
I'm struggling though. It's been difficult this past week and a half, I see 8 extra pounds on the scale and want to cry because I did that to myself. I went on a binge and now it's extremely difficult to get back on track. I'm disappointed in myself, but what can I do except try to move forward.
I'll probably be MIA for a while, it doesn't make sense to me to keep trying to do this right now, since I'm having such a difficult time with my basic weight loss attempts (following the WW Core plan) let alone adding something like Beck into the mix. I keep reading and rereading the days I've already completed, hoping something will click with me, but it's just not happening. It's so amazing how I had such an excellent week one week and the next week I'm tumbling into an abyss and don't know how to pull myself out of it and regain control.
I'm also leaving for Paris on Thursday and have so much I need to do before then, it's another reason things aren't going as well for me as I would have hoped. I'm almost afraid to go only come back to deal with whatever weight is on the scale after 6 days of French bread, wines and cheeses. It's funny that the women I'm going with are excited about all these new foods. But I know in the back of my mind while I'm there I'll just be thinking about what the scale's gonna say when I get back. (just an FYI - Paris, and France in particular aren't very accommodating when it comes to meals prepared a certain way or vegetarian lifestyles, etc.) I'm afraid I wont be able to get back on track.
But I WILL be back early January, come **** or high water, PRAYING for more focus. I want so badly to get to my goal weight in 6 months, it's just that right now I just can't seem to get it together.
In the meantime, I'm no longer binge eating, although I struggle daily with making good food choices, I'm still working out, and will be from now until the day I leave, and I am still watching what I do eat and will do my best to follow my eating plan from now until I leave. I'll still be here off and on until then lurking and checking on you guys from the shadows so to speak. I hope to be back in full force in January. I do feel that the book helped me, and I do want to see it through to the end, but unfortunately I let those fabulous sabotaging thoughts derail me, and I'm just having a hard time getting back on track.
Happy Holidays everyone, I'll see you soon... :)
12-23-2007, 01:49 PM
FIVE days of successful mindful/intentional eating in a row during the holidays and out at parties and restaurants? Triple CREDIT from me! Mindful and intentional are both great ways to refer to our eating....
Cammie-My heart is going out to you. I am so glad that you are posting about what a hard time you are having right now. I say this because I can see this happening to me-if I gain a few pounds, binge a bit, feel out of control, etc.. it is SO hard to come back. I want to be able to post that stuff if/when that happens to me. I have gone up and down with my weight in a big way (weigh?) more than once. It is REALLY scary to be on an eating plan and doing well and then have some kind of tough period that results in gaining some weight and/or feeling that loss of control. I don't have an answer for you and realize that you are not asking for answers. I do hope that you can truly give yourself credit for exercising, for checking in here and for any other things you may be doing to be gentle with yourself. Have a wonderful trip to Paris!
Off to get some stuff done. Til next time, Heidi
12-23-2007, 03:19 PM
Hope you get this message before disappearing.
Sorry you're having a rough time right now; it happens. Beck insists that the process will have its ups and downs and that the strategies are available for the rough times as well as the smooth. Please at least take my favorite Response Card to Paris with you:When discouraged, I'll focus on what I can do today. You've still got all of Cammie available to keep you sane enough that you don't have to carry a guilt trip. I am confident that you can find a path for yourself that is somewhere between losing weight and losing control. And it will include JOY for being in Paris.
I wish you well.
P.S. There are still four days until Thursday. Consider at least peeking at the thread to remind yourself that you're one of us here - just one of us having a rough spot.
Ate on plan, including curried veggies over basmati rice that I made for the potluck lunch yesterday. That's only a big deal because I'm just learning to cook and am still a bit slow doing some of the preparation steps. For example, it seems to take forever to dice two onions, cut the yard long beans to size, cut the cauliflower into attractive small pieces, and figure out that I can substitute a couple of plum tomatoes for the canned tomatoes that I needed. You experienced cooks forget how much you know.
Still have some shopping to do for stocking stuffers; a trip to Trader Joe's and to Whole Foods will do the trick for the small things I need. Gonna be wrapping some IOU's today.
CammieCam - Waving as you prepare for your trip to Paris and everything else at once.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - Thanks for the "triple CREDIT." That feeling of "being out of control" is the one that I'd like to gain confidence that I can avoid. What are your thoughts on how to avoid that?
Sue (CoastalSue) - Waving even though you're not on the computer today.
MaryBlu, tofulover, SuchAtwin, Ann (Newlifestyle) - Waving, hoping that you pass by.
Readers - Reminder: Tomorrow is Christmas; today is the day to send twelve drummers drumming as well as yesterday’s gifts.
Oh I could not resist reading the posting and say HI and add my two cents to the forum.
Cammie-Boy, I do understand the flood of emotions with a quick huge gain. I spend 4 days of Christmas celebration with one of our kids-I returned with a 9 lb gain. It has taken me 7 days to lose 7 lbs of the gain. this has been such a common pattern in my weight loss that my current attitude is sort OH Well, that is how my body reacts and back to food plan. I sure know that I did not eat 9x3500 cal =31,500 in 4 days. It is often holding extra water in my body and just mysterious factors I don't understand-but it has always come back off when i go back on my food plan.
Having never been to Europe, I envy your chance to see such a historical place-enjoy and you will make the changes in your eating pattern at home and you will loss those few remaining lbs. I have heard Paris is a great place to do alot of walking-enjoy the sights! You have got the skills-you have lost lots of weight already and you will get to your goal!!
BillBlueEyes- great that you a enjoying learning to cook. Yep, those dicing of Veggie is time consuming! It is a daily task around here. I figure I spend between 15-45 minutes in dicing a day. Often I want to get some premade dish or soup but only by making my own do I truly know both the cals and freshness of the ingredients in something. Someone suggested to get a food processor for about a $100.00. I may treat my self to one, but sometimes I find the clean up of the blades and bowls and where to place another large item in the kitchen difficult. P S Really glad you will still be posting here!
If fact my next task today is to make a low cal blue cheese dip and large selection of raw veggie for snacks then off on 1 1/2 hr drive to some relatives-We will have low cal dinner-fresh crab. I loved that meal in that it takes a long time to crack and get the crab meat and we sit around the table so long and talk. My goal is 2 glasses of wine (already got my sparkling water to bring along ) and NOT to eat french bread and butter.
Good wishes to all- there is much good about this time of year-to celebrate, remember, rejoyce, to do-but to modify food habits is one of the very toughest for me I am eating a bit unhealthy right now-a variety of treats but here is the big change for me very little portions of high cal foods- but boring Jan is close approaching and there will be less of me during 2008.
12-24-2007, 01:24 PM
Hi there everyone,
I hopped on the scale and am down 2 lbs! Yahooo... I don't want it to be all about that number but it does feel good to see it go down after working so hard.
I really fight "all or nothing" type thinking. So...in the past, if I fell off the wagon (binged or gained some weight), it was the end of dieting for me. For me, the loss of control is that feeling of giving up on even trying anymore. One of the best things that I do for myself now is to remember that all the little things that I DO to take care of myself are worthy of credit and are good for me int he long run. So if I eat a few cookies or gain a few pounds, it is not the end but just a bump in the road and the fact that I am drinking water, exercising, crediting myself, etc... is still there. It is MUCh easier to think about this with my current frame of mind but I really need to solidify that into my head for when I need it (and it is early in the day!). :)
Sue-your low cal bleu cheese dip sounds delish! Maybe you could share the recipe if you have a few moments sometime! Good luck at your crab dinner tonight!
BillBlueEyes-I am so glad that you plan to stay here on this forum. You contribute so much and add a lot of personality to the discussions! Your cooking endeavors are admirable. I really hate the chopping/prepping part of cooking and yes, it does take soo long to do. I can enjoy cooking when I am on a break but in the midst of working fulltime and being a mom, it is not my first choice. I am having fun collecting recipes and trying to have at least one thing in the fridge to have for meals during the week. I took a "15 minute Meals" cooking class recently and it was all super healthy food. I am using several of her tips (ex: keep a bag of spinach in the fridge-it is so easy to throw spinach into stuff and get all those nutrients). I also really admire those people who can say, I have mushrooms, ground turkey and a bag of spinach so I can make xyz.... I need recipes!!! It does NOT come naturally to me.
Merry Christmas everyone...I am looking forward to a special time with my 5 yr old daughter who is SO excited for Santa to come. This is a fun age for all this stuff. My dad will be here and my brother and nephew fly in tomorrow from Minneapolis. I will really enjoy being with all of them. Enjoy the holidays and thanks for all the inspiration you provide by sharing what is happening with you on this forum!
12-24-2007, 06:31 PM
Merry Christmas to all-- meaning, at least, good will to all my new friends. I have not posted as of late because, like Cammie, I have not been eating mindfully and did not feel like I had anything to contribute. Since reading your post, Cammie, I realize that just noting our place with honesty helps to keep us from sinking further into the abyss. The holidays are such interesting times and offer us another opportunity to observe ourselves with as much candor and forgiveness as we can muster. Right now I sort of see myself as a rebellious teenager walking around with a skateboard which I really do not know how to use. As I journey along I see easy spots where I can plop it down and take a short exciting cruise that ends in either a feeling of jubliation or disappointment depending on the amount of balance I can exert. I credit myself with keeping my board with me and trying it out as I see the opportunities. Cammiecam, whatever your trip to Paris brings to you, like Bill, I hope it brings you JOY. I just returned myself from a quick trip to Arkansas. My twin brother sent his plane to pick up all his siblings in three cities to join he and his wife in Little Rock for the night and then got us all back home yesterday in time for our own families Christmases. I started out the fun by throwing up on the plane. We moved on to more delight as someone who had too much to drink told another one that they were drunk and that someone (me) told the other one to f--- themselves and goodnight. By the next morning there were apologies all around and plans for next year were discussed. I observe that I can forgive others, they can forgive me, and we can all start over at any given moment. Isn't it a wonderful life!!!
I am stating publicly to you all that the 26th of Dec. I will dedicate a full day to the Beck challenges. My husband will be leaving for more hunting and only my son and I will be here to consume the leftovers of our Christmas Day feast. I will report on how I dealt with the demons. My plan is to isolate the bad stuff in my son's minifridge upstairs. Anyway, again, Merry Christmas to Billblueeyes, CoastalSue, Maryblu, Cammiecam, Ann, Heidi, and everyone and anyone I forgot. Later.
12-25-2007, 07:21 AM
Merry Christmas - Happy Holidays
May your time be spent joyfully. May your eating be delicious and intentional. May your exercise be warming and embracing.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Your fresh crab dinner sounds delish - enjoy all that appetite satisfying shell cracking. I salute your closing sentiment, "... and there will be less of me during 2008."
SuchAtwin - What a blitz of family !!! And what acceptance, "Isn't it a wonderful life!!!" LOL at your image of a rebellious teenage on a skateboard. I sure do benefit from your candor.
CammieCam - Two days before Paris. May your hectic preparations include time to give yourself credit for being able to understand and accept yourself.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - It's so useful for me to hear how you are able to focus on the important stuff and to avoid "...the loss of control ... that feeling of giving up on even trying anymore". Thinking of your wide eyed 5 year old daughter this morning, WOW.
Readers - A gentle reminder that shipping is not FREE. Kindly remit shipping charges for: 12 drummers, partridges, and trees; 22 pipers and doves; 30 lords and hens; 36 ladies and birds; 40 maids and rings; and 42 swans and geese. Your prompt attention to this matter is appreciated. If you have already attended to this matter, please disregard this and future dunning notices.
I'm still reading the book (am on Day 5) but I'd like to try this, especially since it works on the thinking/behaving connection with food and that's exactly what I need. I'm a binge eater and though I thought I had it under control a few years ago, the last year and a half have been so stressful and unstable that it brought me back to the diet/binge cycle. I know I need to change the way I think about food to change my behavior.
I have found the book helpful in some ways so far, especially the advice to praise yourself. I've been doing that and I think it helped me avoid a binge today.
I do have to say that I'm not all that fond of Dr. Beck's "think like a thin person" attitude. There are some places where she talks about how people who have a tendency to gain weight can't do certain things that thin people can do which makes gaining weight sound like a defect. So many of the thin people I know have worse habits than I do (not to mention that if there was a national disaster where we would be without food for a while, those of us who gain weight easily would be in a much better position than those who don't ;))
Anyway, other than that, I like the book and am trying to do what it says. Of course one thing is to find a diet coach. I am not one of those who feels comfortable working one-on-one with someone about my weight but I do feel comfortable posting on a thread like this and getting feedback from people and hearing about others' successes and failures. I find that very helpful!
12-25-2007, 06:25 PM
:welcome: to the Beck thread, Tammay,
I just logged in to check the board before our Christmas dinner and see that you just posted. Glad you're here.
I do hope that you talk more about giving yourself praise, because I need that one myself. I have the Sabotaging Thought that it's a bit wimpy to praise myself and that if I were just stronger I wouldn't need that. Of course, "if I were just" is a good standard negative thought that I'm capable of using to prevent moving forward on any subject, LOL.
Glad that you're working out your relationship to Dr. Beck's style. Other's have mentioned that they had to do that.
Merry Christmas new friends,
SuchaTwin: Welcome back and I also love your skateboarding analogy! I feel like a skateboarder too...I am trying to build up more balance to stay on that board for longer periods of time...trying to think of something in the area of the Beck book being like elbow and knee pads and helmets for us for when we fall, we are able to get back up and go more easily. I am glad you shared especially when you feel like you have been in a challenging place. You have already contributed a lot today! :)
BillBlueyes: the check is in the mail...if it isn't there, keep waiting for that check! :) You are too funny.
CoastalSue: Thanks for bringing up the Mindful Eating book... I looked it up and took the little survey and am now diligently putting my spoon and fork (one utinsel at a time!) down in between bites to focus on my food, continuing to plan what I eat the day before and eat my veggies before my other food! I love that site and will most likely end up buying the book. I love books!
I did well on my eating today and had a wonderful day with my daughter and my dad (and my dog!). I did a lot of running around here-not formal exercise but the best I could do for today. We leave for our big ski trip tomorrow and we apparently have no internet access. I get the shakes just thinking about it! I am hoping to piggyback onto someone else's wifi or find an internet cafe. But I will plan on not being here for a week but will be back when I return. Have a wonderful New Year! I look forward to good things for all of us in 2008.
12-26-2007, 06:49 AM
Happy Boxing Day to our friends in Canada, Australia, the UK, and where ever it is customary to give gifts the day after Christmas to the serfs on their estates.
I ate on plan for the BIG meal on Christmas Eve and for brunch and dinner on Christmas Day. I ate two partial homemade cookies but otherwise avoided the abundant temptations. My big achievement, however, was after Christmas Eve dinner, I had to carve the second large chicken for leftovers - it was a specially prepared chicken, brinned using fresh herbs for several hours before roasting. REALLY good. Well, I carved the whole bird without taking a single nibble. Not even that little nugget in the back that is SO delicious. That was a big one for me, since I normally carve after a meal in the one-for-the-plate-one-for-me style. CREDIT moi.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Hope you find your way home from visiting relatives with your weight unchanged.
CammieCam - Super! Tomorrow is leave for Paris day. So many streets to walk. Those tempting book and art vendors along the Seine. Well dressed Parisians bustling everywhere. People watching people watching.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - < waiting patiently for the check, LOL > Have a great ski trip. Remember that Black Diamonds on a ski slope are NOT a girl's best friend. What a great image; Beck is elbow pads for when we fall off our eating and exercising plans.
SuchAtwin - You've started something fun with your skate boarding thought.
Tam (tammay) - Welcome again. Looking forward to discussions on the early Program-Days; after completing the cycle with Day 42, it will be good to revisit the early stuff that could use some more practice.
Readers - Thank you all for your prompt remittance. Be advised that it has been decided that next Christmas will use the same list of gifts for the twelve days as this year. You may replenish your estates appropriately, remembering that the breeding cycle of calling birds is not rushed.
Good morning all.
I do hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a great boxing day. If you are out shopping you may get exercise in.....
Cammie, have a wonderful time in Paris.
Heidi, I hope skiing is a lot of fun for you. I also have a five year old, so he made Christmas such fun.
Maryblu, I do hope your holiday is going well.
CoastalSue, I hope your visit with family was enjoyable.
SuchATwin, I too can identify with the skateboarding. I need to live Beck to get those elbow and knee pads.
Tammy, I am looking forward to your take on Beck from the beginning. I really need to get back on track.
Bill, thanks for keeping this board going. You are truly an awesome leader. Way to go not eating half of the chicken you were putting away. That is great. I am not sure I would have been able to do it.
I have been sick over Christmas, I have this horrible cold I can't see to shake. All I want to do is sleep. I really haven't been eating much. I know I need to eat healthy things so that I get healthy again.
I wish you all a wonderful holiday and a happy new year.
Thanks to everyone who has been posting, it is helping me. I owe you all.
Oh yeah my check is in the mail tooo......
12-26-2007, 11:14 PM
We are... at least I am.
BillBlueEyes: kudos, for your victories over Christmas over-eating madness...particularly the triumph over the "Part that went over the fence last". That was my dad's favorite part--that and the back..where all the fat and flavor hangs out.
love to all....just want you to know; I am still "coasting".......and even maybe a little "sinking"...the fact that I have not gotten on the scale and have resumed old habits of not looking in the mirror....that is a clue.......but, be FORWARNED, I am back, after the first of the year...fully committed and into Beck's wisdom. I am thinking BillBE needs some back up singers, so to speak......love ya'll.
12-27-2007, 06:00 AM
Good morning, all.
Ate on plan, did gym, and walked. CREDIT moi. Eating leftovers from Christmas Eve - still soooo good. DW gave away some of the platter of homemade cookies, one of those better gifts that made both parties very happy. DW made herself a Mango Lassi with the mango pulp I put in her Christmas stocking. She really likes them and didn't know that the pulp is sold in large cans at Indian food stores. It's essentially a mango smoothie made with mango, ff yogurt, milk, and a dash of ground cardamom. Now she can have them in the summer when fresh mango's aren't available.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Just waving, know you're still on your journeys.
MaryBlu - Keep the faith - there's a path back to the path :)
My father also ate the chicken back. I just assumed that it was because there was a big family going after one chicken so he just held back by eating the back. But I learned about those little juicy pieces only as an adult; no kid EVER got them, LOL. Until now, I also always assumed that he was the only father who did that.
Ann (Newlifestyle) - Ouch :( Sorry to hear about the horrible cold. I hope it compensates by leaving you a few permanent pounds down. < patiently waiting for the check >
Cammie (CammieCam) - :wave: Departure day. Have a wonderful trip!!!
Heidi (hbuchwald) - A week of skiing :) May you have fresh power every day and a warm fire every evening. < patiently waiting for the check >
Readers - The guilt season is over; it can be put it away with the tree and tinsel. Time to focus on the arriving New Year.
Sorry you're having a rough time right now; it happens. Beck insists that the process will have its ups and downs and that the strategies are available for the rough times as well as the smooth. Please at least take my favorite Response Card to Paris with you:When discouraged, I'll focus on what I can do today. You've still got all of Cammie available to keep you sane enough that you don't have to carry a guilt trip. I am confident that you can find a path for yourself that is somewhere between losing weight and losing control. And it will include JOY for being in Paris.
I wish you well.
P.S. There are still four days until Thursday. Consider at least peeking at the thread to remind yourself that you're one of us here - just one of us having a rough spot.
Thank you so much Bill! I'm doing a little better, and despite a little worry over food, I'm still excited to be leaving today. It's not about the food really, it's about being someplace I've never been, and I LOVE to travel, so I'm very happy.
Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I made the card, Bill, and it will be with me in Paris. I'm actually bringing the Beck book with me as well to read on the plane, so I will be ready to incorporate the strategies when I return. Just a little valley right now, I think I'll make it through.
Bonne Année everyone! See you next week!
12-27-2007, 03:03 PM
I have had the same sabataging thoughts of "it's childish to praise myself" but I wrote out a response card to remind myself that one of my issues with food goes back to being extremely self-critical and having been raised by extremely critical people who were constantly seeing everything bad I did rather than seeing the good I did and that since I'm not getting that kind of encouragement from outside it has to come from within. It's made it a lot easier to praise myself. I'm continuing to do that every day and I think it's helping. This is my third day of not binging and feeling physically good and in control. I haven't felt that way in months!
I don't mean to be critical of Beck (so you can see where the critical personality comes from here :D). I do believe in much of what the book is saying and I feel like it's helping me make progress already even though I'm only on Week 2 in my reading.
I'm really glad I found a thread devoted to helping people who want to do the BDS, though. I'm looking forward in reading about everyone (though I'm still playing catch-up on the posts!)
Realistically, I probably won't finish the book for a while, though I'm starting to implement some of the tools.
12-27-2007, 03:09 PM
I'm just curious - what diet are people doing? What's your first choice and what was your second? Are you having success with your first one and if not, did you have to move to your back up?
This is just out of curiosity, not necessarily to get ideas. I'm a vegetarian and I've chosen as my first diet a vegan low-fat diet (I've been trying to go vegan for a while now) based on the one given on the Physician's Committee for Responsible Medicine website (although I've modified it a bit by adding small amounts of olive oil and natural peanut butter).
My back up is totally different - a low carb (though not extremely low) high protein moderate fat vegetarian diet (meaning it includes dairy and eggs) although I'm thinking about changing that one. I've done lowcarbing in the past (not as a vegetarian, though) and it was great for weight loss. But I know this is about finding an eating plan that you can stick with for a long time and I'm not sure I could do that with a lowcarb plan.
What are you all doing?
12-27-2007, 03:09 PM
Hello to you all.
Bill you are amazing how you can implement so many of the Beck concepts at an increditably difficult time-every possible sabotaging clue is present everywhere.all the time during this season. You are buddha of behavorial food changes. I on the other hand, have been one active suzie yo-yo. Having a great time but going up and down on the scales. Still I see growth over other years, much less treats, alcohol, bread and more focus on veggies and lean meats. I normally would have brought about 4 cartons of eggnog plus added the Brandy at home-this year it has one glass while decorating the tree. Plus as much as I hate to do I have weighed myself every day-does help curb the goodie train.
I have a similiar attitude to caloiric foods as our budget. Since retirement we have needed to be very frugal-not in debt but little cash left over for much play or toys-need to remain alert to unnecessary expenses-we have an adequate but very limited amount of money. That is now how I approach food-I need to consume an adequate but very limited amount. The holidays have been a fun spurge (both in spending and eating) but returning to normal is fine too.
SuchATwin-loved your posting about the family plane ride-The drama, anger and forgivness and great hope for the next year-It was wonderful ! The whole thing was like a page out my family gatherings.
CammieCam- have a great trip!!
Maryblue -under standing the coasting-like a yoyo-tried to see the latest Dylan move-something like I am not There. Just haven't had time and it is now schedule to leave tonight.
Ann- do get well soon-tough time of year to be ill.
Heidi-How glorious to be skiing a week-great scenery and exercising-hope you have a grand time.
Tam-You posted while I was doing mine-just short answer to your question about what diet. I have tried them all-but I am not a vegetarian-but not a big meat/ poutry eater. I find I like just counting cal and stay within a set amount. It is pain to learn the cal count of stuff, record it but in the long run I have the most flexiblity of foods to eat. I really miss a variety of foods-I figure the most critical for me to undertand for the rest of my life is portion control. For me is not what I am eating but how much of any one food is healthy for me and overall how much I should eat in any one day.
Should we all make a plan to do something in unision about Beck-We all start with a particuliar lesson and work on doing 1-2 a week? Maybe share our sabotating thoughts and have other help us re work the thought? I know Beck does it in days but I am a slow behavioral changer-heck I am over 60-got many years in those overeater brain groves. It takes me alot of focus to remain on the food plan of the day-that is each and every day!-add too much other stuff to the day and I lose that focus.
12-28-2007, 06:57 AM
Nothing much here. Another day spent ignoring the large plate of homemade cookies in our kitchen; they aren't a problem for me sitting there in a covered dish without some food pusher saying "You just HAVE to try one of these." I don't even think of them. They never cross my mind. Yesterday, upon the stair,
A plate of cookies weren't there.
They weren't there again today.
I wish to heck they'd go away.DW consumes a few cookies, maybe some visitors over the weekend will consume the rest. I am using the banana bread for my snack with tea - fits my plan well.
Took a brisk walk in the rain after work to Staples to buy a 2008 weekly calendar for recording my gym workouts. There are a zillion different versions; I got one just like I filled out for 2007 - I have a complete record of the year, including the weeks where I didn't make 3 sessions. Both CREDIT moi and Oh Well.
Sue (CoastalSue) - You just crack me up: LOL at "active suzie yo-yo." and "I am a slow behavioral changer." Credit to you for the daily weigh ins and for avoiding the eggnog. It's nice to see the small, permanent changes you're making in your life. And what a good thought: Should we all make a plan to do something in unison about Beck-We all start with a particular lesson and work on doing 1-2 a week? Maybe share our sabotaging thoughts and have other help us re work the thought? I really like the notion of redoing the book from the beginning. And two Program-days per week instead of 7 per week would seem to fit well with the posting schedule of many folks. What are other people's thoughts? Would some one in the early part of the book volunteer to start?
MaryBlu - LOL at "I am still "coasting"". Hummmmm... does that mean that we have both CoastalSue and CoastingBlu?
tofulover – Waving. Where in the book are you now? Are you up for a review from the beginning?
SuchAtwin - How go the plans "to isolate the bad stuff in my son's minifridge"?
Ann (Newlifestyle) - Hope your cold is getting better.
Cammie (CammieCam) - It's about noon in Paris as I post. Am NOT thinking about you walking along the Left Bank. Am NOT thinking about you getting your weekly pass to the Louvre and other museums. Seeing the Eiffel Tower up close in person. Planning your restaurant for this evening. The constant sweet sound of French in your ears. Hope you tell all when you return.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - You're probably already in the ski lift line this morning so you'll get to break the fresh powder.
Tam (tammay) - Thanks for your thoughts about "it's childish to praise myself". Kudos to us both for working on it.
My diet plan is to continue what I've done for the 27 months of my journey: 3 meals and 3 snacks per day, whole foods, portion control with NO seconds, 25-50% extra for occasions and restaurants. DW makes a healthy dinner every evening so I only have to do portion control there. My second plan is to execute my first plan with tighter portion controls. I hope you post your vegan experience from time to time. I've been creeping closer to vegetarian, without serious thoughts to a full commitment, but vegan is still over the horizon for me.
Readers - If you have been looking for a good time to join the discussion, this quiet period as 2007 winds down would be a good time to just say "hello" to stick your toe in the water before we start the Beck Program-days from the beginning.
My Diet Plan: Hands in lap until I pick up the mental utensil which works (when engaged) like a scanner. I like Sue's evaluation technique: to ask oneself what is adequate.
You all will no doubt start thinking of me as the drama queen because I seem to always be dealing with one. Day before yesterday my son, (the Asperger-autistic one), totaled his car a mere 3 months after he had another major accident. Yesterday was his dealing with it day which is a special place in **** where he tumbles until he(we) can find a way to drag ourselves back to a place of perspective. I mention this all to add to the credit I am about to give myself. You see, Mr. Skinny Man-Son bought himself two boxes of chocolate covered cherries which I rescued from his demolished car and delivered to the house with all his other "stuff". To recall Bill's missle crisis, I wanted one of those little covered cherries to explode in my mouth. I did not cave in! I used Becks number 8 card thingy which says "tolerate it" and told myself this crisis was mild compared to tension I had already dealt with that day. Also, to give myself a little more credit, I have been scanning the sidewalk ahead as much as possible to avoid the cracks that tend to throw me off my skateboard. When I see a scary place ahead I hop off and sneak by it.
Tammay: good for you for not binging for 3 days. No doubt your days had challenges of their own and you reigned supreme over them.
Bill: I agree that you are the Budda. Good for you everyday for all you do for yourself which affects your family and your friends here. Keep up the good work. By the way, the son took care of the temptations so no need to use the fridge. Besides, I just didn't provide many miracles for the palate for the family. I am trying to be my new best friend and they know there is a bakery right down the street.
Hello and best wishes to Maryblu, Tofulover, Ann, and the vacationers(Cammie and Heidi).
12-28-2007, 11:33 PM
"I really like the notion of redoing the book from the beginning. And two Program-days per week instead of 7 per week would seem to fit well with the posting schedule of many folks. What are other people's thoughts? Would some one in the early part of the book volunteer to start?" BillBlueEyes
I wish I knew how to do those boxes, I really do, but I second the motion made by BBE, credit to CoastalSue for the idea.
I think 2/wk rather than 7 is much more "doable" and I volunteer to start. I am starting my MA online Jan. 16th, and do pledge to keep up, but it fits great for me to start things off Jan. 1.
So, if that is the consensus, I will do so. I will try to follow BillBlueEyes format, as we are all so familiar with it, and again, will wait for some feedback from all that that is the way to go.
I know we are all open to other ideas as well.
What say you all??
12-29-2007, 07:04 AM
We're still eating leftovers from Christmas - still delicious. My big achievement was to throw out the leftover twice fried plantains from Christmas Eve dinner, which had been really yummy (the second frying absorbs even more oil) when they were served with fresh pico de gallo (long since gobbled up) and they weren't spoiled, they were just unnecessary, high calorie food that I didn't care to try to factor into my eating plan - normal activity for most sane managers of the food in the kitchen, but a BIG DEAL for me to toss food of any sort. CREDIT moi.
And CREDIT moi for finally ending that sentence, LOL.
MaryBlu - Yeah for you volunteering to take the first step into our next trip through Beck. Even while you're doing an MA online. Sounds like a fun but busy time for you. What field?
(QUOTE)When I change the ()s surrounding QUOTE to s, this happens!(/QUOTE)When I change the ()s surrounding QUOTE to s, this happens!
SuchAtwin - Double, triple credits to you for staying on track during the emotional events of your son's auto accident. So glad to hear that he wasn't hurt - was that a miracle or what? And thanks for the demo on how you used your Response Card: Tolerate It. What an example of using Beck strategies under pressure to resolve the Cuban Missile Crisis Chocolate Covered Cherries (CMCCCC). JFK himself would be proud.
This is just the greatest notion, think I'll try to work that into my daily thinking (Beck should add it to her next revision):When I see a scary place ahead I hop off and sneak by it.
Cammie (CammieCam) - Perhaps today Cammie will visit the tomb of Napoleon, desiring to understand the French, she might try to understand their deep reverence for Napoleon.
Readers - If you see a scary place ahead, you can hop off and sneak by it.
Good morning all.
Bill wow way to go throwing food out. Yeah you....
I really like the idea of seeing a scary place ahead and hopping of and sneaking by it. I will definitely use that. It reminds me I had a friend that always told me that life was full of hurdles and the only choice was to jump over them. I asked why not go around them....I had stopped thinking about that until you mentioned sneaking by....Thank you.
Maryblu, thank you so much for volunteering to start Beck from the beginning. I feel I need someone else to lead my way at this time. I feel like a lemming right now. I am just going through the motions. Thank you.
Sue, how are you doing, I do hope that you are having an awesome day.
Cammie and Heidi, I do hope your vacations are going well.
Suchatwin, I enjoy your posts. You have a great sense of humour.
Tammay, I do hope today is going well for you.
Hello to everyone and thank you all for posting. I find I do get so much from this thread.
12-29-2007, 02:15 PM
So glad everyone is here-I really need this forum and will continue to need it through out 2008. I woul like to lose 100 lbs during 2008 but more likely with my age and poor mobility lose 75 lb-still it would be good. That said, I now must admit I have been acting on one of my most common, harmful sabatoging thoughts-The last "fun" meal syndrome-eat everything you want today because tomarrow-actually jan 1, you will be "suffering" with food deprivation and force to eat "small amounts of boring, healthy foods" I really overindulged yesterday and actually do not feel very good this morning-but feeling bloated and the sugar jitters alone isn't enough to make me stop over eating crap.
My goal is to write down everything I put into my mouth today. For me the first step to make my choices conscious again.
SuchAtwin- I have worked with students with Asperger-While a person can be so capable in many areas, there are things which are so difficult for a person with Asperger. You must work so hard at allowing him to be an adult while always being there to help him dealing with with things that create a crisis for him. You did incredibly well not to eat those chocolate in the car. Seeing the cracks and getting around them versus getting trip up by them is great image for me to look out for those scenes in which I get so upset or even dealing with foods I trip over.
Wise, Wise Bill-thanks for continuing to post and show that Beck is doable even during the feasting holidays. Your commmement is truly inspiring for a slacker like me. It is not that I don't know what to do, don't ever do it, it is that I do not continously do it-that is my problem-those wanton eating periods.
Maryblu-what is the area of focus for your MA? Glad you are game to re-do the book. I agree with your plan and will also post some of the chapters.
Happy New Years to all-I hope you folks are having fun and are doing well.
12-30-2007, 07:42 AM
DW came from her first session with a physical therapist and raised the possibility of buying an elliptical machine for our home so she can do physical therapy for her knee. For my use, I have mixed feelings. I enjoy walking to the gym and get motivation from the other people working out. She isn't so motivated by other people working out. For her, the issue is squeezing a therapy session and a shower into her schedule. Will be working this out over the next few weeks. I take physical therapy for her knee seriously; maybe we can buy the elliptical machine and I will just ignore it.
Facing three party eating situations over the next three days. Reminding myself that just because it's there, I don't have to eat it. Time to pull out: Response Card: It's not OK to eat unplanned food.I have made a generous allocation for parties in my eating plan. The trick will be to use that and focus on not giving up control of my eating, but rather, as that CoastalSue mentioned, making my choices conscious.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Yeah, such a common and powerful Sabotaging Thought: "Eat everything you want today..." It's great to see you take the Helpful Response Action: "write down everything I put into my mouth today. For me the first step to make my choices conscious again.". You should have a great 2008.
Ann (Newlifestyle) - Enjoyed reading your memory of asking "why not go around them?" Another version of SuchATwin's notion "hop off and sneak by it."
Readers - May the exercise you do today feel especially rewarding.
Good morning everyone.
I hope you are all well. My cold/cough/flu, whatever you want to call it, is so much better. I just sound worse than I am. Thanks for all your well wishes.
I am so worried about posting because I feel I don't have much to contribute but I get so much from this thread, kind of like I am piggybacking off the efforts of others. That may be the kick I need to get me out of this going through the motions. I keep thinking of Beck, "Do it anyway."
I say give yourselves credit for your honesty and posting sabotaging thoughts and letting me see you are all human and we all go through these things.
Sorry if I am babbling, I am trying to say I appreciate you all and thank you for what you all do.
I asked my DH to be an additional diet coach for me during the holidays, well he isn't a very good one, we are like two children at a candy shop. He will ask, "so do you want some ice cream." I say, "I don't know, do you?" I then tell him he is a horrible diet coach leading me astray like that. I do count it in to my flex points (ww), but I can see how it could be bad, if I didn't have any points left. I think what is great about Beck is she has given me an awareness to the problems it could cause if I wasn't aware of it. I hope that makes sense.
Have a great day everyone.
12-30-2007, 03:30 PM
[I am so worried about posting because I feel I don't have much to contribute but I get so much from this thread, kind of like I am piggybacking off the efforts of others. That may be the kick I need to get me out of this going through the motions. I keep thinking of Beck, "Do it anyway."] Ann(NewlifeStyle)
That is pretty much what I have been saying in my "I appreciate you all" posts. And it is why I volunteered to lead the first discussion. I have been coasting, treading water, barely, and it is time to get my body back in the shape that I want it.
I do realize we are all in this together. Sometimes we give, sometimes we take, and most often, I suspect, we do a little of both. You just never know which little bit of wisdom whether given or gleaned, will be exactly what is needed at that moment.
Am off to "study" so I can "lead". Thanks to you for your well wishes and interest in my online MA program. It is in Ed. Admin. ..my B.S. is in Horticulture, and it is 30 yrs. old, so this should be interesting to say the least!
12-30-2007, 07:19 PM
It's interesting you should mention the issue of a "caloric budget" because I was thinking about that in terms of junk food. I think one of the traps I'm falling into is the "I won't ever have X food again because I'm going on a weight loss plan on Jan 1 so may as well indulge now" and that unconsciously gets me into a panic and so I binge on the foods I'm "not" going to have. I was thinking yesterday it might be an idea for me to "budget" some of the junk food that I love during my weight loss phase in such a way that I'm learning portion control while at the same time psychologically not associating those foods with binging. So here's my thought:
1. Make a list of my 3 favorite foods (peanut butter cups will definitely be on it ;))
2. Decide what days I will allow myself each of these foods once during the week IF I DESIRE IT.
3. Decide what portion (obviously, if chips are on the list I'm not going to buy a 99 cent bag but the smallest I can find)
4. allow myself that controlled portion of that food once a week but allotted into my calorie budget. So, for example, if I decide on chocolate chip cookies and the package says it's 100 calories, then I'll give up some other grain for that day. Obviously, this will be within reason - I won't be giving up a salad with beans for cookies because nutritionally, it will be like a binge, where I eat junk food in place of healthy foods
5. I will have each of these foods scedualed on 3 separate days, not all on the same day (again, psychologically that will spell binge to me)
I'm thinking if I do this, it might take the junk food out of the realm of a binge, making it psychologically more controllable to me. Obviously, I won't buy the whole package of Oreos and then take a serving because I know it's a trigger food and having the big pack inside the house is too dangerous. But walking down to the 7-11 and getting the single serving package might work.
I'm also thinking it might make the junk food less desirable in the long run, since there have been studies that show that if you eat a certain food consistently, your taste buds will get used to it and it will be less appealing. Again, too, I think the whole "I can't have it" mentality will go away when I realize that I CAN have it (within reason) if I want it. Then I'll want it less.
What do you all think about this?
I'm getting very excited about starting BDS on Jan 1. I'm still reading the book, reading through beyond each day but scheduling in my daytime planner the days to do the activities (like the hunger tolerance activity - which is going to be a tough one because I'm totally the type that is anxious about having food near me all the time!)
Will we be posted a whole new thread for Jan 2008? I'm assuming we will, since this one is Dec 2007. When we do that would it be possible to ask if we can start by posting a short bio of themselves, what their goals are (short and long term, if desired), what their diet history is, and how they are eating? Totally optional, only if we want to, that is!
12-30-2007, 08:39 PM
I've just been catching up on everyone's posts and it looks like this is a very supportive group, which makes me feel lucky that I found it (but then 3FatChicks has always been a great site!). I hope we all continue in 2008.
Regarding rereading the book, where would that put those of us who are reading it for the first time? I'm on the second week and don't feel like I should start rereading the book again since I've just read that first week. However, I think it might be a good thing to hold off on reading the rest of Week 2 and reread what I've read so far starting Jan 1 when I'm totally committed.
I'm still not ready to let go of the binge eating but I do see subtle changes. Friday was another binge day for me but again I stopped myself from going overboard. Typically, I make a schedule of fun activities like reading and watching movies in the evening when I eat most of the junk food. I had scheduled 8 hours of "fun" stuff in which to binge on Fri but after 3 hours I again stopped and asked the questions "do I really want to go on with this? Have I had enough? What pleasure will I get out of it if I go on? Or will I only end up feeling worse?" Of course I knew the answers to all of those questions and trashed all the junk food then and there.
I feel almost embarrassed to post about all of this because it sounds so weak and sickening, like I'm a really sick person. I don't feel like a sick person. A person with major food issues, certainly. But I'm not feeling like I can't get a grip on them at all. These are major changes for me. I wish I could describe just how major they are. But I'm starting to realize that it's unrealistic for me to get into the mentality that I will give up the binges cold turkey, even after Jan 1. It's been a lifelong habit with me (though I've had periods when I've had much less binging episodes) and I can't just give it up all at once. But even these baby steps (using smaller bowls, making them shorter) is moving me towards hopefully eventually giving them up altogether, realizing I don't have to rely on them anymore for whatever I'm relying on them for (which I haven't quite figured out yet).
12-30-2007, 11:58 PM
Hello to all,
thanks again for posting-I am embarrased by my lack of Beck Behaviors yet I keep looking over my shoulder at Bill's posting and know that behavior is what I truly want to do on a daily basis. I honestly can't seem to face The New Year Eve Party with a severe caloric limit. But just writing down the food has helped limit my intake.
Tammay-I understood your concerns mentioned in your postings. I really like the idea of planned indulgents-I seem to be very rigid most of the time dieting then overlax with company or a during a festive time. It is like I become an overindulgent 5 yr old who is going to overeat because it is a party and I want to have fun (eat). There is a fine line for me to have a treat and not have it become a trigger food. I bet the key for me is not to have the food in the house, but enjoy the treat in the community. I am pondering a game plan on enjoy some baked goods when having coffee with friends.
You are making some good changes such as your choices on Friday-I like you are making changes but I must make more in order to lose weight.
I have major food issues can't reach over 300lb with out them but good new-I almost reached 400 lb and did start making changes. I am the thinnest in my family-we all learned the food issues well. Any way never feel you are "sick" we just need to learn new skills, not to judge and shame ourselves.
Like Maryblu said we all get some wisdom whether given or gleaned. looking forward to your leadership input in this group study.
Ann my DH behaves like your Dh. One Doctor thought he might be a co-dependent in my over eating. My skinny DH loves treats and loves to share them. He is pleased to serve them. Once I am very serious about a food plan he will be helpful otherwise he would rather share the treats and eat them together.
Bill-Sorry about your DW needing physical therapy. I say keep going to the gym. If you find joy in doing your exercising there-do it there. I loved the social support of doing work in the gym when I was able. I now just do the swmming alone-miss the chit chat and support. Take care of yourself.
12-31-2007, 01:21 AM
Hi there everyone,
I am having a fun time on my trip. I am not able to plan meals ahead of time but, luckily, my family eats really healthy food so I am just managing how much of everything. It is going really well actually. I am also able to get exercise in easily-skiing, ice skating, tubing, etc.. I feel really good and am enjoying myself. I am very much anticipating the structure of home and getting into my full routines again. I LOVE the idea of rereading the book and taking two days in a 7 day period as a group. I will read day one before I come home and will check in here to see where people are.
I really like the idea of planning the "trigger foods"into the week ahead of time. I really struggle with that too-afraid of those foods that could put me into a feeding frenzy.
I will be back to checking in each day-I too get so much out of everyone posting how they are doing (well and struggling)....
Happy New Year everyone! Heidi
12-31-2007, 06:28 AM
Did well enough at a party last night by calorie count. Had a good time and I didn't lose control. For that, CREDIT moi.
However, I did break out of the behaviors that I was trying to follow: namely, after I ate one well planned plate sitting down, I later ate more, I ate standing up, and I sometimes ate straight from the serving tray without benefit of designing a plate. My concern is that I flirted with unaccountable eating, with out of control eating. For that, Oh Well. I have the opportunity to keep working at it at a party this evening.
Sue (CoastalSue) - Will be thinking of you while trying to stay under control during my New Years celebration this evening.
MaryBlu - Thanks, this was just the thought that I needed this morning:"Sometimes we give, sometimes we take, and most often, I suspect, we do a little of both. You just never know which little bit of wisdom whether given or gleaned, will be exactly what is needed at that moment."
Ann (Newlifestyle) - Glad that you are posting even when faced with the Sabotaging Thought that you shouldn't post. Appreciate your demonstration of how to use Beck's "Do it Anyway!"
SuchAtwin - Waving. Cammie (CammieCam) - Waving in French.
Heidi (hbuchwald) - What a hat trick: All that exercise, healthy food, and family.
Tam (tammay) - Thanks for the courage to share your journey with us. I don't hear "weak and sick", I hear confronting the demons, one step at a time. I'm proud to be side by side with you here.
Oh yeah, add me to the list of people who are not to have a bag of Or*o cookies in the house. Remembering that my serving size was: One bag.
Readers - May you celebrate tonight within your plan.
Good morning everyone.
It is so refreshing to read posts that make me realize I am human like all of you.
Maryblu, Good luck with your MA. Congratulations for having the courage to tackle it.
Thank you so much for offering to reread the book. I am starting to get excited about the idea of two days in a 7 day period as a group. I think I do so many things on my own, like running and walking, I do like it as it gives me time for me....learned to enjoy it as when I did this with others I relied on their schedule. I was a bit scared to try anything on my own but I realize now that it is fun and if I just do it anyway I will be successful on my journey.
Sue, thanks for your post too, it is funny how I can identify with everyone on here. I was embarrassed about my lack of Beck behaviour too and I as read your post I thouhgt, just acknoweldge it, because I can't change what I don't acknowlege. Thanks for your honesty. At the party tonight could you plan maybe to eat fruits/vegetables first and then have a treat, or a strategy that works for you, or have a glass of lemon water and then snack. I find if I have a plan that in place I do less damage than if I restrict myself. For example I will always have that glass of water and then I don't mistake thirst for hunger, I plan to eat healthy choices but don't beat myself up if I have a treat. I find it I try to restrict myself, I end up saying no to everything and then I binge like a wild woman out of control. I hope this makes sense. Good luck tonight with your party. Oh yeah great job writing things down. Give your self credit for that. I think a lot of peope find it extremely difficult to journal their eating. Most of all have a wonderful time with everyone. Enjoy.
Heidi, wow, it is awesome you are getting to do all those things and enjoying them too.
Cammie, I do hope Paris is a wonderful experience for you.
Tam, I read your post last night and thought wow, it is not just me who feels like this. Thanks for the honesty. I found that when I plan certain foods I do much better. I measure out my snacks and count them in my daily calories, also if I really want something, I exercise extra for that. I know that caramel is one of those trigger foods I have no control over so I don;t even start eating it as I know nothing good can come out of it. Thankfully it isn't a treat I crave but for some reason once I eat it, it causes havoc for me. Reading your post made me realize we are truly in this together and we all have these feelings.
SuchaTwin, Hello to you.
Bill, yeah you....having a good time and not losing control,,,,isn't that what it is all about! I laughed at your serving size of cookies. The sitting down while eating was a real eye opener for me. One of my friends no longer asks me to sample anything because when I do I find a chair and sit down. I just want to follow that one because I can do it. I still struggle with others, which makes me human....that is my excuse and I am sticking to it.
I think I am babbling....ooops. What I want to say is:
I do hope everyone has a great day and a Happy New Year to all. Remember we all had successes this year and thank you all for your honest posts. I not only need them but appreciate them so much...
12-31-2007, 06:28 PM
Happy New Years Eve to all,
So glad you all will be here to be Beck Buddies and help me get back on track in 2008. I am starting to look forward to eating much more nutritiously and much less.
Ann thanks for the idea that I could plan for the party-even though not doing my rigid food plan I'll bring my sparkling water. It is always the first bit or drink of /foodwine that is the best-after that food/drink is just consummed without really tasting it.
Heidi what a great winter vacation-all that snow exercising sounds like so much fun. I love the look of clean snow, mountain and crystal blue skies. Glad you are having so much fun.
Bill-much success on your up coming parties-You have done so well in a time of so much food draws-we all are struggling through ton of treats which are every where along with traditional attitude of "tis the season" Here is the challengeTonight -I will not eat on thing which I do not put on my plate or napkin first to catch my breath before eating and let me know if you do the same tonight (if you time to read this prior to leaving for New Years eve) Nothing directly from the nut dish to my mouth.
Have fun , be safe, Happy New Year
12-31-2007, 10:05 PM
Nothing directly from the nut dish to my mouth. On my way out the door. This will be difficult, as this party specializes in grab-n-go platters. Howsomever, Challenge accepted. I'll report back.
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Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve Met your goal. Congratulations!
01-01-2008, 01:52 AM
This discussion continues on The Beck Diet Solution – January 2008 – Group for Support, Discussion, Diet Coach ( http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1975158#post1975158)