[Hermit Girl]

Good News is that I have gotten back into music with some old musician friends, practiced, and now am ready for the local open mic. For quite some years bargained with myself saying : "If only I were performing, then I'd have reason and full self assurance to drop this weight " ... but it's so humiliating to see that it's not happening like that , as of yet. The Bad News is that I *still* feel completely insecure, and helpless to change things --regardless. I'm terrified that I'm really going to be seen, though I'm so near to the music goal of performing, I'm still so far from my physical image goal >> and I feel so unattractive !!! I'd have never thought I could be so attached (like with a ball & chain!) to this gawdawful frumpiness at fortyfive. I've been let loose in the back country and become a hermit, for far too long now, with zero flare. I swear, it's like I'm actually afraid to Look Good (with makeup and fancy clothes and all of that). That's frightening !

[horsey]

Go read the book From Frumpy to Foxy... there's more, I have a shelf of fashion books. As you work on your weight, at least you can study how to feel less frumpy with clothes/fashion if you are going to perform. I'm amazed at some of the books/shows about how clothes can make a huge difference. If you know your figure, colors you wear that flatter you, you'll be able to pick some nice clothes to perform in, even now.

Then how about setting some goals, working hard, losing some weight and rewarding yourself with some more performance clothes as you lose weight? Maybe a hair cut and color from a top, top stylist? Nails done? Little things?

I read recently that at 40 on we actually have to "work" at our looks. In my 20s I didn't have to but nearing 40 I'm finding it's true. Clothes have to fit better or I'll feel frumpy all day long. A haircut and color does wonders. I'm doing my nails and just paying attention to details.

I can't imagine being on stage - but all the more reason for you to work at yourself so you feel good, and can really shine. It's not just looks remember, exercise/fitness/nutrition makes us "happier" and live longer. At 40 on we know more... kids, grandkids, whatever, we want to be healthy for others too.