100 lb. Club - Need advice from my wise friends!




View Full Version : Need advice from my wise friends!


tingirl
11-29-2007, 08:19 PM
Do you guys ever get asked for diet advice from people but are not really sure how much they want to hear? I have a new co-worker who is very interested in the amount of weight Iíve lost and asked me to help her. Iím very flattered and more than willing to help, but itís really surprising to me that she has no clue at all about calories or even how to begin diet. I guess this is so foreign to me since Iíve been aware of fat and calories since I was 15 years old (not that I always did much about it, but I was always aware). I canít get a feel for how much she really wants to know. I donít want to sound like her mother by telling her she shouldnít eat something, but I also donít want her to think that Iím not willing to help her. I think she is currently just making a half hearted attempt and I donít want to discourage her. Iíve sent her several helpful websites and we have been walking together everyday at lunch. Is there anything else you guys can recommend that I do to help her?


Sheila53
11-29-2007, 08:33 PM
It's almost like walking a tightrope, isn't it? That delicate balance of offering just enough help. Have you asked her what she'd like you to help her with specifically? Walking together at noon is a really good (and non-threatening) start.

jtammy
11-29-2007, 10:10 PM
Isn't it difficult!! If she's actually asked for help, though, it's a little easier. You have probably already told her about fitday or thedailyplate. Maybe you could share some recipes with her.

I get a lot of comments, "I need to lose weight". I'm never sure what to say when I hear this. They aren't asking for help or advice, so I don't offer any. :shrug:


rockinrobin
11-29-2007, 10:17 PM
Do you guys ever get asked for diet advice from people but are not really sure how much they want to hear?

I get asked all the time how I lost the weight. The thing is, most people lose interest rather quickly when they find out there was no magic pill or big secret involved. That it was good old fashioned hard work and discipline. Once I get into that I eat very healthy foods, in healthy sized portions and that I exercise 7 days - well that pretty much ends the conversation.

Your co-worker is very fortunate to have you as a guide and as an inspiration. I think taking that walk is a great first step. Why not see how it plays out?

kasmin
11-29-2007, 11:03 PM
I think you've already shown her lots. She probably needs time to process and check out some of those sites anyways. Plus walking together is probably the best of all. I'm sure it's much easier for her to motivate herself now that she has an exercise buddy! I suppose if there is something more you want to tell her maybe you could sort of give hints instead, like slip into the conversation, "I'm so glad I started eating whole wheat pasta, I feel so much less hungry now" Or something like that;)

RitzyFritz
11-30-2007, 05:43 AM
I get asked all the time how I lost the weight. The thing is, most people lose interest rather quickly when they find out there was no magic pill or big secret involved. That it was good old fashioned hard work and discipline. Once I get into that I eat very healthy foods, in healthy sized portions and that I exercise 7 days - well that pretty much ends the conversation.

This is EXACTLY what I have found - when I say "Old fashioned calorie and fat counting and making healthier food choices" they all act like I told them they have to cut off their toes to lose weight! I just mentioned this to my husband several days ago how interesting it is that they lose interest immediately when they hear that there isn't a magic pill to be had! It all boils down to the determination each individual really has.

However, to answer your question more specifically, for those who seem truly interested, I tell them the books that have helped me (Superfoods Rx, etc) and then let them carry it on from there. Because, as I said above, if they don't have true personal committment to do this, the inspiration they seem to have from your loss will fade when they go home for dinner and are starving. Your conversation will be forgotten by then, and they won't remember how "inspired" they were until after they have overeaten and are miserable again. ;) Then, they will say "I really should go on a diet like _____."

Aren't we all just glad that we have found that determination to personally pursue good health!!?? I know I sure am!

Here's wishing you success with your friend. I know it would be rewarding to watch someone take your advice and be as successful as you have been.

KforKitty
11-30-2007, 06:45 AM
I've found this with cyber friends as well. Another contact on another BB I frequent (nothing to do with weightloss) asked if I could help her lose weight knowing that I'd lost quite a lot of weight. I was happy to agree and encouraged her. I gave her lots of advice about the kind of things I eat, which she seemed happy with but when she asked me about alcohol she didn't seem to want to hear what I was saying. I barely drink (alcohol) and she was accustomed to daily drinking. Now I know some people do manage to lose and continue with a glass or two of booze but it will be at the expense of a healthy meal or a couple of snacks a day. I told her this and have not heard from her since. Maybe I came across as being too judgemental (which I'm not) but I was just honest with my opinions in that for me alcohol was a waste of MY calories.

Kitty

Lovely
11-30-2007, 07:57 AM
It is hard... because in the end it's their life. And it's hard to tell when they want you to back off permanently.

I think you've done well so far, and keep up the walks at lunch even if she doesn't want advice anymore!

I do think that the next time it comes up in conversation that you mention it being a lifetime commitment. It's not something that can be "sort of" done. So if she wants to succeed she may have make the decision to commit. Make sure you leave it feeling like if she EVER wants to talk about it again that you're willing to. Because maybe she's not in an area of her life yet that she's willing to make such a commitment.

But eitherway it's always fun to have someone to chat about health & fitness with! (Who would have ever thought I'd be someone to say that?! O_O)

Schmoodle
11-30-2007, 08:19 AM
People have started asking me that question. When I say South Beach, most people have a mistaken impression that it's low-carb like Atkins and just say "oh, I could never give up fruit or bread." So I might tell them that's not what the plan is about, but then I drop it because I have no interest in promoting a particular diet plan. It's the one that has worked for me, but I think different things work for different people. But you're right, I really get the impression that people are hoping I'll mention some pill they can buy.

GirlyGirlSebas
11-30-2007, 10:27 AM
People have started asking me that question. When I say South Beach, most people have a mistaken impression that it's low-carb like Atkins and just say "oh, I could never give up fruit or bread." So I might tell them that's not what the plan is about, but then I drop it because I have no interest in promoting a particular diet plan. It's the one that has worked for me, but I think different things work for different people. But you're right, I really get the impression that people are hoping I'll mention some pill they can buy.

I agree. I get stuck with defending my plan constantly. But, its what works for me and thats a very good thing!:) I've also run into the scenario of explaining what I'm doing and the person proceeds to turn around and tell me what I'm doing wrong. :?:

Robin41
11-30-2007, 11:24 AM
I think I'd just take the lead from her. The websites and walking are great ideas. If she stops showing up for the walk or starts ordering McD's for lunch, you'll know to pull back.

I'm in a similar position with my husband. He's a perfectly normal weight but he wants to learn more about nutrition. I don't want to be constantly explaining what's wrong with everything he eats; I'm not his mother, so instead I try to explain why I chose one thing over another and hope he applies it to himself.